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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!, M" Y( E/ p) t; r8 F4 s
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写& r  P) j$ G# q' ?& ~5 S/ `
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.1 [" ~' F6 j: ^5 K
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it7 x& S4 V/ N: t# L
down.
7 }6 W8 Y: Y* X% }4 x6 f+ m  X8 JWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
5 J# [& R8 N' `you
' t3 U  ]/ Y5 kleaving it down.
4 _2 ]8 N, r) u! h) l1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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% k/ N+ Y9 l' K. e% ?1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
4 Y/ |6 ~2 B5 x, }Let it be.. w" I, }4 T3 h1 b
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it# i+ ~$ b( r0 {4 H- p$ ^# z2 c
that way.& ^( g5 ^5 h& K$ H+ `( ]' q
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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! s% X; q$ N. H1. Crying is blackmail.
) z1 j5 N6 N9 l1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
* L6 ~' B* O! t. m! oLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!5 h* }9 k  l: B9 ^' T* p3 c5 [
Strong hints do not work!
+ y4 f# X2 m- O1 ]  R8 r! P0 mObvious hints do not work!
+ R6 e1 P* D# _$ e$ o) B# @4 pJust say it!
6 o! r( O! T$ h  a1,你想要什么就说
3 k' k! z2 z: t0 L1 w4 R# U我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!, @7 }3 e9 O& |$ O
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every - n$ I7 |7 x/ B" W# O' i
question.
" D  A3 f! e3 o* p/ Y1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
, B/ t7 Y7 i9 l0 h% q, r2 p7 b# Kwhat we do." y  U7 z5 ^; M$ e2 z' h
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
/ j9 M5 ?* ]& B: a% P1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。% z3 o0 y- t+ K/ H+ e3 ]4 w

$ s& c- L9 C9 P2 ~, L1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.! [1 e) W# o$ [9 T6 Q& e
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1 U% p) i/ \3 z3 M/ q# o1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& q6 I: o( Z" X2 _  s
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.0 |9 S# e6 L; l* [5 \7 @
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
( u1 z8 C" d: w! T( cto act like soap opera guys.) T6 J; g* I9 R% Z$ q# W& O
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们% H, ]$ u! A  ]6 l; b$ L

3 v. u2 J1 E7 L  X1 W! J1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( Z, ]& D! r+ i6 _1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们& r) P6 S; N3 \: q# w7 N; C) f

! q+ v. j1 a' d$ ^5 [, p1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
3 Y" I: @/ h2 K" n; }3 jmakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
5 [) s; d6 y- `  N2 z& H1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。6 J; _+ A( [& N1 T

6 b$ i# A! P* b- `(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢): i. Y* U( R0 h! {: X. X9 t% t9 {
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. E2 o# h0 ~% N/ p, ?
done. Not both./ G- x( @" A% L( w6 \
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.( \$ a5 p/ C6 @9 C2 |
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
" H/ k6 M+ F9 ?" w7 U8 U8 w/ Dcommercials.- Z' o  n# o+ X+ n
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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, W$ M. s( z  z6 ~: J, A1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
4 `4 F$ j% f! ~: v) H1 PPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.1 Z- j/ y2 |2 c9 }$ l
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.8 o9 U' Q% |7 s* N7 g2 o/ T

9 A1 n2 I& B  `0 j: f1 n( X6 Q% f1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like4 m5 x  G3 F- {5 @! [' y
nothing's wrong.
! e  i0 N" g! F/ d3 _8 O$ S% yWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer# R! P7 x$ r1 O$ P- x/ \
you don't want to hear.
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* J. G9 w, r. G5 W, l! u/ a4 C1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
) \0 o$ t5 t0 p& w8 R5 C5 O1 lfine...Really.( r' h3 K! }+ z
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
' [+ @1 I- G5 h& N) \" ]1 w& adiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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( ~4 V/ b, K0 Y2 C% D: [" G" ^1. You have too many shoes.
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8 j' X. e+ X+ G. N1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
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$ E% H/ `* F$ ~% s. u$ L1. Thank you for reading this." S+ A. \8 _. V9 Q' z' u% W

4 v, s  ~$ n5 t0 V1 g7 ^! s* IYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 n( i& J3 v2 U6 qBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& j; K& Q' b2 H4 M: ]0 N" `
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.( {2 n- W* ?5 L3 B
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。
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" o9 o0 r" n8 y6 t) |1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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9 [8 x# p" D  G/ t2 ^- v0 h; g1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.4 x! _% c& ?- q' ~
我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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; D5 R* Q4 V, X/ F' c% C+ b1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.
; |! _; x5 t" z, d  i- t# \所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。4 E6 {7 _/ D8 `

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' D' t: t$ k7 v, ^6 u. ]4 V1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
! d1 ]: y! _5 H% D4 P! f; Z( I如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。5 X3 ]" J; ]$ C$ R5 x/ T8 s  m" r

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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1 r5 h* l. k# ^9 n" K
如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。6 G8 t& w. @4 @& e: e+ f
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.
1 y7 p2 `  ~" E- D* i* s' ^) s" f如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:6 u& C+ x  |. r& O+ g
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.$ a+ a% Z8 l4 C) f( `3 }
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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0 |, o& T' u" E$ h还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really.
  W; w. ]9 h% U: N3 ~; ^如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你
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" w) u9 a( Y$ J+ T1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.8 Q' `* t1 F" ]* g; M- {8 {
不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。$ k4 h4 u8 D9 A
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1. You have enough clothes.
2 `* i& u9 R) k3 k你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
1 T% s( i, Q2 u/ v  ?+ I% W你的鞋子也太多了吧
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4 F: O/ M; }* i1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
5 }5 G; V. _$ J* n+ \; {& {我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?
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1. Thank you for reading this.
3 O: w: o; r& a5 ?) b* h多谢你能看完这个
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9 J0 u! H, P+ F" N! b* wYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
8 _' K7 K9 \' r- K$ p, }! l2 Z/ V我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:
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$ k; i& H; Z" X0 w9 @* O: A2 |* ~这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置6 s  z5 m; W. a2 W

9 w' s1 x& G' q& l4 m; A4 x+ ~还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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2 c% e  i5 I6 h1 ~) P应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿. ~$ i& W5 X9 ^$ @2 `( v
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玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
大型搬家
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:7 D8 ~( K: T0 R& J
1. You have enough clothes.
$ M6 e: U5 j& {) J3 _- o$ {8 \你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
$ v$ n% ?3 u3 U4 V* {7 g& `! T你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?' l" G& m% N* c
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.
) s2 \% O0 S: ULet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!3 B- V, D2 G( P( H/ b! Q7 h
Strong hints do not work!
) e5 z+ ?) ]% w9 T5 RObvious hints do not work!
) v! T$ j" l" C& `9 H9 W" z. e5 wJust say it!
/ v- u, U; n1 Y" X. W  l9 Z1,你想要什么就说8 g9 I2 |0 B4 o1 w
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:
1 S" A* p! U' l9 v4 d! z1. Ask for what you want.4 I- {$ a8 N1 o5 n
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
3 d- s2 a9 r1 v" oStrong hints do not work!0 e5 W3 h) _! S& n
Obvious hints do not work!
2 B: G0 z# d2 f9 Z9 }Just say it!
3 H" ~! i7 D( g# W$ ^1,你想要什么就说/ D/ g7 Q" ~1 h  C1 h1 _, H( X
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...
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瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:
6 o- ^3 Z0 d3 O  C% n被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿) v- ]+ `! G$ W& P1 I

& w+ G; O8 ~4 D8 }4 ahttp://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:
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+ ^, V# M5 T, w, b# D8 ^咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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/ D  b$ T0 f8 o. G8 S) ]# I这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。/ G% [9 G0 |  n" \
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还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:
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4 q  @, E: S5 x; H, h8 W6 y# h这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。/ i5 v& [: }( r1 ?1 c' `6 ]

* R5 u7 S5 Q1 {; b' c还想问问你的体会呢!
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体会?
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' {% U/ G* ^' l0 u% e+ W; Z回答到那个帖子下面了
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