 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!* w7 M8 ^) u; M* G
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
8 s' Y- h2 ]7 {, Z& f: |: F3 g7 A2 f1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it" K0 p, [7 _( p4 T4 s9 g
down.
" Q) w) G4 M d" PWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ; u1 e$ N% t; w& c7 ~. e) h
you
: R) K( P# l6 F- M5 d- W' K2 B+ Oleaving it down.
- L; @/ y" C# O5 @" k! S ]. p1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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& g0 w% S7 G" N9 K& ~ x1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
* r& [: t5 p* {. p/ n9 j9 oLet it be.6 P; G: W) q+ `# F4 o- `# i7 Z
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
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1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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; ~( \( Z; K& h0 f. B9 A1. Crying is blackmail.
% V8 s( ~, \% v1，哭泣是敲诈! |4 l1 }$ x8 K6 D$ N& j# o1 ?
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1. Ask for what you want.
1 p4 p) o% j/ K, `! E% M+ cLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
8 B$ C7 K; ?$ Y) q4 QStrong hints do not work!/ A3 M6 J i+ W: u
Obvious hints do not work!
) {3 G8 B5 Y6 p! {Just say it!/ u }: r7 b/ ~
1，你想要什么就说
& R) t$ O/ k5 Q6 H. ~我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！4 X+ C8 y% J$ \0 e j8 p
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every - M; u$ z$ C+ o8 b% a
question.
& Q7 g) ^/ t- r6 A* J1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）) u$ ?" G1 R+ p# a& s7 }/ U
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
0 |: J% k; n. rwhat we do.
( _/ i3 \; J j0 p* [Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
" [! W7 {5 G, A" s1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。3 Y0 E7 _" |- l& R4 J. f
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
) f* K- n: s1 \' N! s1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.2 B( O% u3 d, Z! _ V1 x, p
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.8 p( P* s, R) Z" Y7 w+ r
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了. L5 A) [+ R* i( m, K8 V% n
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
) J5 ~8 ?/ w/ i) [4 P% D8 i- [to act like soap opera guys.
: r; d9 [5 A# z- b8 e3 p! ?* s R% X1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.# Y! V2 g7 i0 F0 `/ [
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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2 Z4 f( O3 L3 f# S9 X1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways$ m. l7 Y. m [! u3 h u
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.' h, F3 Q* ^$ [+ A, B0 I- ]
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。) E7 K; X$ }$ M* g# P0 f m
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）- ^3 q$ |& i7 N
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it# V7 J" W7 J5 B0 ], W
done. Not both.! |: S6 S( Q% E) P/ N* g
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1 x& t6 [# s6 u" {9 D# \1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
( e% W* j! \# i! q; bcommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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A- r' Z+ l) U4 k1 d1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
# O b- x4 W+ Y' @, y6 T' `Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.' s1 k! v* Q% j* y9 X. d- K
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.. O- \2 F( r8 J" f0 e1 e
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like5 h8 M, @% N7 a1 I
nothing's wrong.! |! h! K* N& S( d5 P
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle." n6 D- |/ w1 T0 j# `" h5 C
5 n1 Z, s+ L4 o1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
( T. u; ~/ a% n% ]4 q8 p0 ?: i( `you don't want to hear.
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3 i/ i3 [4 V8 h3 ]+ P7 x( o) f3 r1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is, l& _4 z% {0 d) R
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to9 t' @ \, H/ Y+ F \0 U
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.0 d6 d$ t) A2 C, Q
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1. You have too many shoes.
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0 ]& C; i. L3 d3 T0 t, N1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.4 C7 a' d* r7 s" O8 F% w/ g
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;4 [* Z( q/ U g, W9 }4 c5 X J8 v- i
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.+ A/ I3 m( j3 \3 F6 w# \% I
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
