 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
2 o9 R0 F$ w) o5 Z3 n请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写3 v' h( b- @+ {' }* q$ p8 h8 E3 m
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
2 m: [ F2 \* v- \# W1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫7 u( p8 u% Y/ S0 H# F) S& k& w
% N: O! M. k+ l" Z6 q; d1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it0 b6 R5 i( y9 X
down.
* T) b( @5 l+ _$ F$ A4 {We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
& ~8 g( M t# w: Q4 N* ?you
. s$ y* ~) @. M' K- |: o; s7 dleaving it down.$ M! E) ?4 Z. }$ `
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?7 \9 G7 F% ^6 t6 X: j2 f
1 f* k1 G; P! d$ _' H; a% ~1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.( `' x+ `# O ^: a
Let it be.0 ]+ ^" o: l: {/ u# c- b7 s
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去& Z0 R! |4 g) _ L
# u! s$ O; H1 R2 Y1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
8 k0 a) A7 Y: {2 v1 X& P5 v7 b# R- k% pthat way.
# c* T1 @4 k" K1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!* ?& K0 F1 n! p3 e
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1. Crying is blackmail.5 v3 u b5 e5 M/ ~$ B; Q+ a
1,哭泣是敲诈2 p r* t, a( c" y1 f8 E
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1. Ask for what you want.3 Q6 B5 x- z5 s- r# D7 ~
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!' v. f( w; D! u) ~2 _
Strong hints do not work!
3 x+ I1 E" S, ]# E0 i4 TObvious hints do not work!
2 e, T* i* {; ~! J5 N0 v$ c# h0 yJust say it!
$ v- v# @1 E. @4 H1,你想要什么就说
1 Y0 ^! i" o. n7 n% l7 P) ?我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!+ S- j- X8 l) _) W: |+ B
3 Z, k6 N8 i8 Q" n. P1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
( G: w; W( ~" W1 g& w/ j) oquestion.* z/ J( s; B v( J2 {7 E/ h7 q0 P
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)* X. p: R+ b$ ]* j) f# ?- E
) B9 N5 ]1 h+ k' h( I$ W1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's$ [- ?7 E& b' `4 q/ v0 J6 C7 x4 g
what we do.
% Z( B5 b" V. M0 USympathy is what your girlfriends are for.) H, g. p5 G2 N3 q: h+ r- q4 n
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。3 ~6 F# q' a8 C2 d! q$ y! k4 T1 H
# m% r& h( x: c1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor./ Y0 e- F) x0 M4 X% ?7 d- x
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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; m. n P' E& s9 u9 e9 }% d: p1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
$ s' K" }# U% J% L6 b5 OIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
& ~' \7 p8 t8 F我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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; P# C* J( C0 s4 b) | g1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
v( U2 E! ]1 y9 Qto act like soap opera guys.* J0 I5 J+ S; G7 y! V
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们0 w" X g; o6 u' q: m5 f. w u# Y
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.: w: N1 Q' ~) J f4 S9 G z
1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways s+ T6 J1 @! Y" {
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
( i1 l5 }, X3 L8 U8 S/ s8 g' C1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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% B9 D! r6 x7 n1 K3 ~(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
! X) G' X. b0 h1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it1 o; ~6 i; s6 f' ~, p( f. A
done. Not both." N% V2 w8 S! e S# S S
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.1 i* i! T3 d. m0 Z r8 Z" d* E
2 ~) f0 b/ o- N" O# B$ g( ?. a/ O1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.5 _4 H8 N8 Q/ c$ }
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings." S( x3 Q6 ]7 }* P. ?6 g, C
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
7 v# N+ g0 i; z7 y3 y1 dWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1 \. M$ }* j: I6 _5 @4 @/ k" m1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like( u) x- O: K: u7 q8 v8 L
nothing's wrong.( w' U# p' I1 d4 V. f: [& s# s
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.: ~; S$ x1 D- [
9 I0 X, f* g2 n: J3 i1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer" w! ?- {& }. N9 O
you don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is1 I6 n: Z$ M+ T. U# ^( P
fine...Really.& I5 `1 t- c1 S- m J
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to3 E+ ]1 V6 J V4 _/ ^' ?
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.7 ]/ C" N: s8 B
2 o, Z; V& x# [% t1. You have enough clothes.0 ^. \ ?* @' k6 o1 c! f
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1. You have too many shoes.
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7 d7 V' H! B8 z6 l# H: q1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.+ q. e- i* X1 ?& P- y
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
' p7 P, n- h% s' i* ^But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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: G6 l* |+ u/ H" e+ }/ ?' LPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
4 g. k- S; _- @: p1 oPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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