 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!, M" Y( E/ p) t; r8 F4 s
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写& r P) j$ G# q' ?& ~5 S/ `
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.1 [" ~' F6 j: ^5 K
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it7 x& S4 V/ N: t# L
down.
7 }6 W8 Y: Y* X% }4 x6 f+ m X8 JWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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' t3 U ]/ Y5 kleaving it down.
4 _2 ]8 N, r) u! h) l1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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% k/ N+ Y9 l' K. e% ?1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
4 Y/ |6 ~2 B5 x, }Let it be.. w" I, }4 T3 h1 b
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it# i+ ~$ b( r0 {4 H- p$ ^# z2 c
that way.& ^( g5 ^5 h& K$ H+ `( ]' q
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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! s% X; q$ N. H1. Crying is blackmail.
) z1 j5 N6 N9 l1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
* L6 ~' B* O! t. m! oLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!5 h* }9 k l: B9 ^' T* p3 c5 [
Strong hints do not work!
+ y4 f# X2 m- O1 ] R8 r! P0 mObvious hints do not work!
+ R6 e1 P* D# _$ e$ o) B# @4 pJust say it!
6 o! r( O! T$ h a1,你想要什么就说
3 k' k! z2 z: t0 L1 w4 R# U我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!, @7 }3 e9 O& |$ O
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every - n$ I7 |7 x/ B" W# O' i
question.
" D A3 f! e3 o* p/ Y1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
, B/ t7 Y7 i9 l0 h% q, r2 p7 b# Kwhat we do." y U7 z5 ^; M$ e2 z' h
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
/ j9 M5 ?* ]& B: a% P1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。% z3 o0 y- t+ K/ H+ e3 ]4 w
$ s& c- L9 C9 P2 ~, L1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.! [1 e) W# o$ [9 T6 Q& e
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1 U% p) i/ \3 z3 M/ q# o1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.& q6 I: o( Z" X2 _ s
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.0 |9 S# e6 L; l* [5 \7 @
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
( u1 z8 C" d: w! T( cto act like soap opera guys.) T6 J; g* I9 R% Z$ q# W& O
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们% H, ]$ u! A ]6 l; b$ L
3 v. u2 J1 E7 L X1 W! J1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
( Z, ]& D! r+ i6 _1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们& r) P6 S; N3 \: q# w7 N; C) f
! q+ v. j1 a' d$ ^5 [, p1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
3 Y" I: @/ h2 K" n; }3 jmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
5 [) s; d6 y- ` N2 z& H1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。6 J; _+ A( [& N1 T
6 b$ i# A! P* b- `(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢): i. Y* U( R0 h! {: X. X9 t% t9 {
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. E2 o# h0 ~% N/ p, ?
done. Not both./ G- x( @" A% L( w6 \
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.( \$ a5 p/ C6 @9 C2 |
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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, W$ M. s( z z6 ~: J, A1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
4 `4 F$ j% f! ~: v) H1 PPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.1 Z- j/ y2 |2 c9 }$ l
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.8 o9 U' Q% |7 s* N7 g2 o/ T
9 A1 n2 I& B `0 j: f1 n( X6 Q% f1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like4 m5 x G3 F- {5 @! [' y
nothing's wrong.
! e i0 N" g! F/ d3 _8 O$ S% yWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer# R! P7 x$ r1 O$ P- x/ \
you don't want to hear.
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* J. G9 w, r. G5 W, l! u/ a4 C1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
) \0 o$ t5 t0 p& w8 R5 C5 O1 lfine...Really.( r' h3 K! }+ z
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
' [+ @1 I- G5 h& N) \" ]1 w& adiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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( ~4 V/ b, K0 Y2 C% D: [" G" ^1. You have too many shoes.
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8 j' X. e+ X+ G. N1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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$ E% H/ `* F$ ~% s. u$ L1. Thank you for reading this." S+ A. \8 _. V9 Q' z' u% W
4 v, s ~$ n5 t0 V1 g7 ^! s* IYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 n( i& J3 v2 U6 qBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.& j; K& Q' b2 H4 M: ]0 N" `
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.( {2 n- W* ?5 L3 B
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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