 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
. z0 i9 Y. l2 }: V6 R; v3 Z7 S请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers./ y/ s3 z t: ?5 e3 l
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
0 P* J v4 k! N8 ~; I; X& j5 b. ~( kdown.
' f% f* T4 ]' B* O4 p1 oWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about # b- Y2 ?$ o: ^0 l3 s* O7 Q5 U# d
you
- Y% [2 r8 r. B% s7 M; D3 P& Yleaving it down.
, E6 ~$ s2 S4 Z2 N. H1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?$ @ d5 @! X: i, E
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
1 ^. k! `0 z$ oLet it be.
: E ^2 O/ I L% N0 q1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去6 c' H- y! W) E* X9 O
5 E1 b I4 N: l" k8 T# }: C" o1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it! k( a* [, l: L& b; S! S) s) W" @5 e
that way.7 q" B6 k2 y+ |5 t' [
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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1. Crying is blackmail.
+ R2 P t/ G- p1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.0 H2 Q7 ?% o: N( ?& w+ l6 B
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!, }; e7 c3 A6 Q+ b* R. d- T5 c
Strong hints do not work!
' U, s9 ~# F/ r1 h# r8 L, ~Obvious hints do not work!
! H+ e0 u9 x8 AJust say it!
# V z0 _/ f; c8 y8 Y1,你想要什么就说
: ~) h1 a% r% y7 r我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!4 V! z+ J, Z" U4 G+ \4 w
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every & I1 m4 J2 B# H1 F. K. m. A. Q
question.! O4 G4 d* z' |, P1 j$ X7 P; @
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)4 E0 Z1 S" J4 U$ r+ K4 }1 }1 c
5 P( s7 b$ M& C. E1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
& s3 ^1 o7 y: uwhat we do.3 g0 M A' I. k# j7 I% T
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
t J4 Q; u% \1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。/ J5 L( M; f% T; M8 }+ e
$ U5 T6 Y Y( [. }: P9 T' C1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
* i& W l9 a0 m1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
: D$ W. W& F5 g6 c- s3 WIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
) b5 q8 ^! M" f我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了* L/ n/ f! s% N
j8 ?" M3 N" C! m' j: p" y' b& k* B1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us G: } i6 b+ y- f& ~3 V$ Y+ u# J7 ~
to act like soap opera guys.
q" [6 J6 `8 A q- R1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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9 z3 N! g$ X) m. o* [6 Z- n0 o" q1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
3 R5 ^6 _/ E* v% q$ y1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们$ I& b: c* }) |4 ]
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
# J; ]( b! d8 H+ B2 P* y2 Vmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.: _- \3 u+ r- d! M, R1 ^
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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& I' ^% m# K. w8 f8 N- f(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
+ Q' W/ a n5 r# s/ B1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it: U& c" X+ Q& q. \( w- G: v
done. Not both.
' [- Z5 I& P5 `; j; T& s2 BIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.) y3 Z3 g# d- @
$ }" {8 _8 g+ f* H" o1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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: v& w4 ^/ N5 m2 Y1 }. H1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.1 r6 N4 r% V) v2 B+ S4 T
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
! Y, }5 E; _' nWe have no idea what mauve is.
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" m5 Q( \) C* R8 p. _1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.& \* L* B7 m) P
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
* B2 @3 K' S7 x, p+ onothing's wrong.
$ Q* ?& ` \+ S+ d; A$ L% @2 r4 ~7 q3 Q" @* uWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.& s1 P* g- E0 r7 f. H: I. u; L5 V
3 @) j" S! M) Y1 w& G1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer4 w3 C. e7 v+ m% w* r
you don't want to hear.$ ?# d5 D1 N$ v5 N: k
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is0 Q7 M6 j+ Y! l# [3 \
fine...Really.
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! D5 [% ^. j8 e$ H$ n1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to6 [( P! v3 R( @$ q. t6 K
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.% X7 l( v/ X/ M9 \& U8 e: G
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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3 R! B, P9 {/ p" p: L7 x1. Thank you for reading this. C# `& N, | p; s: Z; m" b
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;6 c4 d% B9 N+ l3 u: \# B
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.; j8 y+ R3 J' V
! k B8 q k! n" ?Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
- E5 r, J4 v) }! A8 EPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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