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the longest word in the English language

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2012-4-14 13:24 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2013-3-21 17:25 编辑 * |2 F/ A  J5 _' u( A
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Question: What is the longest word in the English language?
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Answer: smiles
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Why?
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1 j9 `9 E% R, c# sBecause there is a mile between the first and last letters.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:27 | 显示全部楼层
Maria found America
9 d. O/ s# Z* `% d% q3 |4 {4 YWhy? Not Columbia? Take a look at the class:
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Teacher: Maria, please point to America on the map. 2 s) U$ ]0 F4 l' z* W4 q& b
Maria: This is it. 8 M% N4 m9 ~" _/ Q9 F
Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
' ~# I: _- a) LClass: Maria did.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:30 | 显示全部楼层
The following is an old joke, which is consistent with our Chinese saying 无事献殷勤非奸即盗6 P! ?9 V2 ]8 K. c- D0 T

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A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
, R1 X4 L* n6 G% _" I# t2 a"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."; p. Z6 [2 W+ M8 b  Q; {, j
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
( e, u4 k  P- {' u"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:39 编辑
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, _/ M. k7 x1 Q% |你可以对警察说,我想你是个混蛋9 ]2 ~: M7 o8 g. k+ q: g
You CAN say that you think somebody is a jerk, especially when this person is a cop who gave you a ticket. Take a look:' Z6 Q* R; E1 c
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A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.9 P3 m* d  V5 A
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Officer: You were speeding.. `3 I4 q( N+ c% A
Man: No, I wasn't.
* E( o' B* `8 L7 i2 s5 MOfficer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
' H! b! ]& _- p8 E9 s* a# G) NMan: But I wasn't speeding.  a. R2 l6 }* \6 Y! j. {  q5 l* ?
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)' G- B% G# [! |) c" O! a7 e, k$ }
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?1 b: J& h- G, |. F0 U& V3 t
Officer: Yes, you would.
7 p6 Q6 T- b/ _" E% D$ {$ s% ]9 z5 lMan: What if I just thought that you were?9 i# _+ g& ?3 R/ W
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.* z/ n  V& X5 a( ~  ~4 |8 u
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:35 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:38 编辑 2 t% \: _7 v6 J) S) V
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为什么男人们总问这个问题
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2 ?/ k  x9 }5 [/ T" X2 n"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
3 U1 l7 j5 G7 X" K3 ?! ^"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:37 | 显示全部楼层
老鼠在你家里干什么
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A: I'm in a big trouble!; w  r9 m2 y; H! i
B: Why is that?
/ j' n7 x$ I/ M6 @A: I saw a mouse in my house!1 j9 l  x' w/ d! j% ?4 N' y
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.- |. T2 e; L& X- ^! r3 N! {$ m
A: I don't have one.
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- q, D4 ]  L: ]3 cA: Can't afford one.1 p: B8 |8 V4 c) @. w1 Y% B: r
B: I can give you mine if you want.
0 `% \( t- g) g% {A: That sounds good.; k8 }. u* p. z: n
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." D) S2 f3 P3 R1 J( Q; N( d
A: I don't have any cheese.
5 c( ]1 ~7 s/ ^* sB: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
1 }6 }! {9 X5 K, P- B5 AA: I don't have oil.
0 A1 _% j2 b  s4 U) N2 Z1 y# DB: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
9 s: h1 P+ `* J7 a: z+ F# M! H7 k3 HA: I don't have bread.6 e4 A, [) ?9 t5 L, A
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:40 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
等一分钟
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6 z" @" x; {5 |: v3 [2 T! [7 w- O+ `9 PA man is talking to God.6 N  [! g1 L( G

2 T+ o  y& Q8 }8 \$ X- ~# @2 [The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
* Y2 q3 q  {! i7 Y; B9 lGod: "To me, it's about a minute."
& P' Q0 p& k; lThe man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"5 }$ O8 x1 o) ~+ m
God: "To me it's a penny."8 a( L/ t1 k  F4 d7 l" d
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
( c$ C: y& Z7 T8 ?God: "Wait a minute."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:44 | 显示全部楼层
Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player?
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She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.
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(Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.)
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
I is or I am
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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
* n- s2 O$ ^7 j7 k% `# [Student: I is the...
6 o* u: c8 s* QTeacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
9 Y0 k% d; U2 b3 uStudent: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:06 编辑 ' g! y1 v, D) @' x& C
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Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
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! I' M7 I8 W2 Y" y- qA: An envelope.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:54 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑 , @' ~! ~8 p' j; {" e- D9 O
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Q: What travels around the world and stays in a corner? & |  V9 |6 J& v2 A, I/ p1 Z

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5 D( m* ?9 F9 c7 EA: A stamp.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:55 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑 ! Z. l# f# V" ]/ s

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A: A blackboard.
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 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:59 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:02 编辑 / e6 ?/ h/ v4 |" c. m$ H1 P4 [
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Riddles of Alphabet7 k$ \/ q9 g% O/ p# f/ `
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Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?   x, K5 L8 C; M+ Y9 T

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A: B. (bee)
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Q: What letter is a part of the head?
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Q: What letter is a drink? 5 R. p- Q) y4 k4 J7 Z
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Q: What letter is a body of water? 8 N) p* u0 ^; [

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2 t9 M; p  S. O1 FQ: What letter is a pronoun like "you"?
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. H' Y8 z0 \% l' r8 {* gA: The letter " I ": R; N; W+ h" S/ l) s: y

2 w7 O5 i3 j% e/ r( [Q: What letter is a vegetable?
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A: P. (pea); y# v+ K& k8 Y: ^; w
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Q: What letter is an exclamation? ( O: Q! i8 Q( w  N

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- D. a0 L% s8 g$ i6 k/ sQ: What letter is looking for causes ?
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% b( n' F* H6 B" G7 ?
) Z, L! j& b; S" }- x: e

0 k: K/ A( V. w5 y! G' dA: Y. (why)
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Q: What four letters frighten a thief? 6 R( M/ }; v. Z$ f: k% s& e" X) {
* y8 X5 B2 ^8 w: {

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; o4 }* h) L3 ]1 v" b7 x% q

/ e$ R+ r# ]  b6 Q$ _6 i6 ?( K  B2 X7 k; ^# X5 c9 }
% n1 K. i! J( V# H7 D: m4 K3 r" e
$ v. p9 @, e' E4 b9 y3 }+ i

' Q" Z: z/ N5 }! t4 e* O' y* k, s- o1 ]) l# U
0 e* G& H, e& t) ^; ^$ N. }; N0 X

. ]& W' U8 [  W
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% F2 O  F. X; W% H4 h1 d
# b2 x$ ~5 v; c3 q  [6 Q0 r2 {1 P. \* R) s4 i$ O( d& k. F

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, \5 m3 o  {$ f- U; T1 Z: C0 B$ D# m5 v0 ~% t5 @$ J7 [7 B1 D9 p
3 F# G0 M- y# E7 K3 G2 p

' o1 i2 m# B% H2 jA: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)
+ i' j/ }7 Y+ f* u  U
$ f5 F+ Q/ x( GQ: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
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4 `2 [/ g8 [! N: I- g$ G- }2 S8 h6 M0 O

7 p( X. r6 A+ z. X' q5 F
/ ?, ]# ~$ \; F$ `
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- T# q% s" J5 L. `, ?3 \
& \, J* N/ z9 n. u7 j1 _3 o3 ?
3 b* [2 a5 r9 i# A! C- p
4 q" D5 e* n( L% b4 }/ v% E0 \+ \& V* W1 r' p- a8 v$ f

; r  h% R$ B5 e; W8 G( B" m( w0 p# N" f, j( [) ~5 C) C- r. o- T

4 c. z2 @/ J( F- i% n% n" t' a3 m7 ?* {2 y
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+ b! `. A3 t. Z7 D1 ~" ^" m
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A: The letter "m".
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Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ? & ]+ ?1 N$ t! f+ ^6 q. z
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8 c+ \; s. A/ c  h# h0 M( \

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  f3 A  i* \% Y) b8 K

, D0 r) c$ A$ I/ C+ ~0 j: m) @1 c( P+ O4 _) f& s, V/ z! v
7 _5 g' q/ L* ~
5 L" U& }/ O3 d1 N
; C/ ?8 K6 K- Q( V; d+ b

* d6 |9 V% m7 B# D
. x6 J9 F: i# n! v- A
& V9 N( M) e+ L( b% ?7 O1 J, ?! z* U2 J2 J1 m4 [: A

4 a0 R* u* |5 [5 |
! p5 r+ K2 w) |( p1 C  F/ n' M) e  m0 i# L7 T3 u: t
' ?7 G/ N3 }" J8 e0 K7 o: r! _

2 [  C; p7 U7 CA: Because it is in the middle of waTer.8 Y3 E4 |* {( [$ b1 e1 @
; B" Y8 V" U. z- |* @5 p: T" Y
Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
: a6 ?% P5 S- c6 Z2 f% r4 j/ j7 b/ N; i* N3 u" U$ O
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0 C; _$ j6 `" r5 s+ X, ^& Y# R

& L/ N+ t: Y8 \, ~/ j+ f9 D+ P# J. k6 p/ q

6 |8 r$ o* a- w3 ]# B/ o! m) m
5 h0 \: f/ ^& w
6 p2 y' x8 Q" ^) c$ }$ o( A  {2 M, u: q
9 }  {( w3 N; Z! @% M7 a2 D1 s1 k
( a1 P2 f  r, z# Q

( |8 I3 |, x9 C7 g
6 `- T4 j$ I/ j/ {$ [& i9 A( K; k& G! o2 o
$ O8 p* t6 m6 `) G! `9 [

8 T0 k/ v3 s! F- y6 c5 [6 ^  a# M6 \7 D2 t4 Q
0 A! p" r( ^1 s" i+ G! J) |& H

. h7 h, @2 ?4 y) a. M4 {1 HA: It can make "her" "hear.2 H/ |0 i, x& O6 ?7 ^$ f% d- t" _. ]
  k5 u" m% s. Z! S: e) K+ t
Q: Which is the loudest vowel? , a. w5 b) F' E& Y/ y% C/ y

& J$ W$ [6 K8 V7 w; S* Y8 T9 x  `/ [( {, D3 W
7 w" d' j; K3 E8 G# b5 y
* y/ u1 M) r" j/ t6 B( X
# F# y& l5 X& x& j

" g% v0 z( n) m3 |9 U
- x% P3 w& b% W0 f6 `; w% F  z* H. |; y; N) t4 R
/ x! I# v3 ~! g7 u: d: Q
& |3 a: t2 p. u1 @; ]% ]+ ], {- Q

5 S, s! i) r% X6 \9 K$ f; ~0 h, q) P
! C& C6 D5 s9 W4 ~- ?6 g

" J" D# R3 y4 Q
$ T1 S0 p& ?3 b$ F4 R" u% f8 [% b: Q& S( e

5 `" c6 P! O5 Z% a" |
6 f% c. C* T6 G) O1 P9 K  o& E2 v; i$ I! b! {& V
5 T( K3 ~3 d$ f# T
A: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise
) t# ~5 O; X. t7 J  Z0 J. S; V  ~5 y# _+ s  a
Q: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike?
1 @/ L! ]) l+ H1 c1 E/ ~1 x9 F3 v* v3 T- ?& q; e
2 C# X1 m' ]" ]3 @9 b) ^

0 \' V: L/ |" V% d1 B& M* g! l3 X$ v; t/ M3 M4 J5 t

% I7 Y) }9 a/ _$ E& k5 q6 u8 o5 V1 [" p- f

1 \% v: y0 y2 I7 b0 D$ b
+ R3 ~. d4 u) p: z* L; i1 \- t( G$ W* V! v8 ^% O1 ]" V+ R

1 |+ H/ g; h2 e% y- @
* }- ]+ N1 s. p7 V; ~$ A
6 O% y7 v/ g: R2 P! s' A) ]
4 ^3 o! u/ }" \2 m' x0 T" i
$ D2 s( |. ?/ f+ _
4 c8 h7 F7 O+ h3 [7 H
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9 B4 H' c3 D/ @( C

: T1 G( |/ h/ Q  |2 S* p
: \$ J  [& r7 i0 F# d! ?6 C! |A: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".$ B' ?$ S% [( o! ?. i8 j! w7 a
* `* \, Q1 \' R1 S' F  U- m
Q: Why is "U" the happiest letter? % P& K6 x  N+ o; m
) T8 u( D+ Q9 @, E2 f2 Y
4 F9 J) f6 {- d
% w4 d. N* R+ A& Q% @7 _# d

  P, H# @& K( ?6 X( i
9 W! E! R; U  Y
5 Q# _$ ?0 k2 [  z* P8 ]/ Q) d( c+ K  p5 b3 i* x

8 I$ w3 @7 j9 N$ r0 p% V, p+ T
, h' E: s% ^* F3 L
! U. j6 W" J) j
4 k5 ^8 A, \7 e0 N1 w9 S, ~5 P6 {& t* K9 B/ q  `" J

2 F5 e. {& v# U6 a& _) N6 [$ e! z4 b! u; B
7 K6 w) W, T) q
" }  m/ X. r7 }: F: r8 H4 H4 _
) K- c3 ?$ C, j, J- J

. v9 u1 r. y& h6 r% X# MA: Because it is in the middle of "fun".
, m& y) `! f( z, ^) d  D+ [) Q) _6 M  U/ q: S1 s
Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters? ( w+ u# t* D4 D

% G4 Y9 r. }3 T* E# B9 q( r0 y) W. |* z* }6 S

( U* m4 G- U0 C' T% _# i$ Q( i

" f1 P3 S8 X: S& {% C. o: c: q+ |+ r
# P, T8 u: O* N5 R/ u8 t/ j

- M0 ]" I, G# D/ \! _, `% h( L5 d, v7 m% D, }- f' Z2 y
1 A" w$ J3 |% o
  @1 U% n2 i& d, R
2 q7 c  a2 ?+ O7 x1 L9 V% Y
2 n/ R+ g* C% \& c  S6 z9 b# X8 u: X

8 M# a. Y, r1 `; M0 J1 L5 c1 T: A1 G
2 o$ v5 n  }2 M: M# {! [4 P
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)
0 t& b; E4 x% b: O& T
8 o  [* x- ]$ o% x! lQ: What relatives are dependent on "you"?; G4 G7 M0 c7 `
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/ j  z- E; @( U# S8 C8 M

$ |  N7 o# G' ?" n
; e% z2 H& c* D: f3 C9 s6 I0 m# X1 C4 D. N# V

2 L4 R- {2 F2 T7 U; c$ _
- t( @  m7 X0 W: t+ p' b" Z7 _8 S7 t, n6 x7 H. Y5 e! k6 j% @9 U
* p6 w( T+ j  H1 W* r* K

8 V2 K0 I( R  [$ o" q2 A8 ^& ?
; j, F8 S, y/ q4 ]0 B- Y( I* h9 x; I

6 _# X2 p* @' W6 [( V% S# a* r+ G8 ?
+ S# m- g3 _# \/ Q - H8 x2 l4 ~. T: U
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".* j0 f$ y& d. i( @/ k
4 H: {3 j, ?; s  j+ ~, q" O
Q: What is the end of everything? % h3 E2 N! U7 ]: \, d; o% q' Y7 P# R, L
/ P2 n% b- l  v" Q1 ?' {

4 w# ]- }2 T0 W9 b8 R
8 ~/ a- {$ L1 O* p4 [. |" E1 \- V& P9 K2 `

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) [" F, ]- ~* l( w# Q, w2 W! s6 `2 T  v

1 d; _1 W* N, u& b" V- d( e* K2 x, e7 F" ?5 e& _
A: The letter "g".
鲜花(122) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-4-14 22:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(49) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-5 16:15 | 显示全部楼层
尘肺???????????
鲜花(49) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-5 16:20 | 显示全部楼层
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis# u4 T/ ^2 H2 _3 x

" ^8 b. m* y5 |" S. V" m* ^; c补充内容 (2012-5-16 12:51):; l9 q- j) _  ?
I did not know those sources of the word, thanks!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-15 06:52 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-15 11:04 | 显示全部楼层
CANDYMAN 发表于 2012-5-5 16:20
; a9 W" M5 [6 O0 @9 O  e  Epneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
: i8 x; R4 t/ m- e5 S
great job
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-29 10:32 | 显示全部楼层
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
鲜花(647) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2012-5-30 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
不就是\smile吗
鲜花(13) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-6-8 12:31 | 显示全部楼层
435t45rhrthrt
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-28 08:14 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(163) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2012-8-30 13:45 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
9楼的笑话没看懂哦?
鲜花(156) 鸡蛋(2)
发表于 2012-9-11 16:22 | 显示全部楼层
shelley.micheal 发表于 2012-8-30 14:45 9 d1 \& l$ l' q8 }
9楼的笑话没看懂哦?
( o4 C0 |/ I+ R' e1 u3 v) R
以I开头造句:
% _/ l( X3 F3 s* e$ p+ |1 k1 Q% Q他本来想说:I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am,结果意思变成我是第9个字母。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 17:27 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
billzhao 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45
- Q0 ^# j$ u8 E5 jI is or I am4 V+ [1 t: C4 ?( d! G) k

. f+ Z( m6 o$ B' C# j& \& H4 a( ^Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".

/ x* k9 c; |* l4 j! i0 W; ^2 o: {" l
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 17:29 | 显示全部楼层
fushiyu 发表于 2012-9-11 16:22 - K# B" T  V* Y( ~2 y6 A, B
以I开头造句:! K$ l1 E  z$ E$ d4 q
他本来想说:I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am,结果意思变成我是第9个字 ...
2 Y# s. J; e! i
The ninth letter is I
4 V4 {1 U+ x, M+ ?* K5 V"I" is the ninth letter
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2013-3-24 15:05 | 显示全部楼层
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