In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

1 Q: z$ E" ^# Y9 Y) F' D5 kIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
7 g1 b3 a7 `4 m  G: S$ oNourished with my soul
: C! E' b8 k" n* ~; y% ODevoured my sorrow by thee
6 d/ ^3 `8 h' b# h2 h
* n2 a" l' A5 n) V+ C" Y7 A+ _In the memory of my life
You planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
/ i! j+ p, S4 {- fBursting the love out of me

[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
3 k- ^' O2 E* u$ P/ [' d4 j& E听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
9 X* |0 v/ ], y" {
( y" ^5 M: P8 mIn the garden of my heart
6 {+ B! Q6 Y% k" IYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
3 Z) o: \6 I4 O& IThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
, p4 t6 `0 C" k9 O' IDevoured my so ...

6 ^! c& J8 E1 Y  V
' q' \! P; [( h0 F$ Y眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
: K$ P" s6 p4 V% y& A: _, p
5 h7 `  v8 k6 M! F% H" [+ y  n* y写得真好。
# S- _: P$ y& S% d0 F. H  Y
加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
1 z" A) u6 J! `3 y7 {写得真好。
: X" ]+ _$ y7 E, ^  E9 g; ?加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

4 b) l% c" G& b7 \8 R- Q. X7 [Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
8 D+ j7 w" v  {" `+ dShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

, n( P2 b' e* X& _% m% K: }
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

$ U( I* B+ e4 J' |5 R# k1 |1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
, Q# K5 Y/ D, |7 q& I
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, r7 ^  z* M8 R% C+ Ythee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
8 ?- x% U5 R& I5 Z1 K+ t' R; a
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

/ p' x& t7 Q3 m诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

1 X$ W3 q% G% f. v% n; K
有啊，有很多经典的例子。
% a/ }$ u- Z/ L! G9 A: v
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

/ _. L, H* o; ]' _! DDon't weep at my grave
! O$ p* `: Y/ z3 H' H7 q% {" YFor I am not there,
7 V9 D9 X* ^7 }* A5 D0 nI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

( v, m. C7 D5 a; bDon't be sad
& e) n, M  ?: bWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
6 Y: T8 e0 V: g5 X! }Wild and free,
( E  e$ B, U* A* i& ~; jFlirting with the lighting,
; ^# y6 f" F* \9 Q+ J- JPlaying tag with the wind,
3 C0 R9 c% z" @, t& i! b6 o, xChasing the thunder
5 m* ?( ~' h: v- p' CTime and again,
- C! r% s- K$ [8 @  G, j& U6 SSoaring with the eagle,
/ q+ e; {" T! K( c; b  zSwimming in the sea,
5 Y1 l! }: B6 tEnjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.