A Purrfect Joke

billzhao

Q: Can February March?
: y: Y' q: G+ v) zA: No, but April May!
/ d+ Q3 s3 T$ _0 l5 D
: Z3 t# U! y2 F; X. W! k0 DExplanation: Happy Groundhog’s Day! Or Groundhog Day?  Hmmm…
( d5 O7 j) a; j
5 V/ Q+ g. c9 G3 f% z; SThe above joke plays with the months and the double meaning of some of the words.
( ]/ r$ x) |1 w! ]4 z1 D
“To march” means to walk with a regular pace or to walk in an organized way; think of soldiers marching or people marching in a parade or a protest.  Can February March?  No, it is a month and it cannot walk. March is also a month (and there are two of the meanings of March).
% @: C2 o2 H  l- {" y/ g# {
May, in addition to being a month, is an auxiliary verb similar to ‘can’ or ‘might.’  In this joke February cannot march but April might be able to march.  It only makes sense if you understand the multiple meanings of March and May.

billzhao

Q: How does a snowman get around?
A: He rides an icicle!
% n3 o/ c, ?" I
Explanation: Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!

4 U, Z1 x  z! Q! t“To get around” means “to move” or “to travel.”

4 i" J. l! S2 a! J* b! o: uAn icicle is a piece of ice that forms when dripping water freezes.  The word icicle sounds like tricycle.  This joke is funny because those two words sound alike.

billzhao

Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: A wrapper!

Explanation: In this joke, elves are Santa Claus’ helpers.  They are the ones who make the toys and wrap them so that Santa can deliver the toys on Christmas Eve.  “To wrap a present” means to cover it with decorative paper to make the gift look nice.  Wrapping a present also makes people wonder what is under the wrapping paper.

, ^. x/ w  G/ B1 F1 c3 rA “Rapper” is a person who sings, usually songs that have amazing rhymes at high speed.  (For more information on the history of rap music check out this link.)

* z0 S' O- H8 ?) w/ ~This joke is funny because “wrap” sounds like “rap.”

billzhao

Q: What do you call a snowman with six-pack abs?
/ H* s# n0 {. s6 o$ y( XA: The Abdominal Snowman!

( c, e/ h6 }7 r/ j) l$ q9 ]% QExplanation: Let’s start with six-pack abs: six-pack abs are stomach muscles that are well formed and strong.  To get six-pack abs you need to do a lot of exercise.  (By the way, ‘abs’ is an abbreviation of abdominal muscles, stomach muscles.)

; K' a% M. ]  y/ ^, vAbominable means something that is very bad, unpleasant, something that causes revulsion.  Abominable (no d) sounds a lot like abdominal (has the letter d) and remember, abdominal refers to the stomach.
0 g& O- g" V* f1 X+ ~2 k* z
/ l  [/ ^2 Y; LThe abominable snowman is also known as  a yeti; most people believe that the abominable snowman is not real… some would disagree.
+ ?' s. j2 h! P/ N, w
! H$ l6 X" n) O9 W- J) }8 c, AThis joke is funny because abdominal sounds like abominable.  And no snowman I have ever seen has six-pack abs!!

billzhao

Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
" D! Q  C; H- g4 S- l; c3 c- n- ]A: Because it held up a pair of pants!
" i* _  _- F' R4 ]' u
9 e; g' E# I8 `% O, fExplanation: To hold up: this phrase has more than one meaning.  You could take a magic wand in your hands and hold it up in the air like Harry Potter; a piece of tape can hold a piece of paper to the wall; a belt can hold up a pair of pants.  In these examples one thing holds another thing in place.

0 |+ B/ P7 X) X; |+ UTo hold up a bank means to rob it, to steal money from the bank.
5 X3 R  n) ?: b
+ m: R+ z: Z5 ?6 M) w. Q( {( bThis joke is funny because of the multiple meanings of “to hold up.”

billzhao

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
/ b" w; B) n/ {; R, u6 X3 qA: Because it was soda pressing!

& B2 L$ s6 p" [( t" EExplanation: A can of pop, a can of Coke, a can of soda… all are pretty much the same thing.  Before you recycle the can, though, you should crush it– crush the can, that means to use pressure to change the can from big to little as in the picture.  There are machines that can crush a can (called a can crusher) and the person who crushes the can is also called a can crusher).  If you press a can of soda (pop) I could say that you are “soda pressing.”  It would be an unusual thing to say but I could say it.
( W, r: o* F/ Q( F- p/ V
The words “soda pressing” sound like “so depressing” and that is what makes this joke funny.  If a job is too depressing then someone might quit that job.

billzhao

Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
" Z7 f6 Q( \* l+ k3 Q# s  AA: Pilgrims!

# l) c% l5 F4 F7 X- w8 z) nExplanation: Happy Thanksgiving!!  This is one of my favorite jokes and one that I did not understand when I was a kid.

In the northern hemisphere spring comes around the month of April.  During April it rains in many areas.  The rain that falls in April gives water to the flowers that bloom in May; in much of the northern hemisphere there is snow during the winter and nothing blooms.

* P$ v/ X) _3 p* R0 Q% ]5 g6 k6 qThis joke sets up a pattern: April showers bring May flowers; May flowers bring… ?  The answer is Pilgrims who arrived in what is now Massachusetts in a boat; the name of the boat was the Mayflower.  The joke is funny because you expect an answer that begins with June, the next month according to the pattern.

billzhao

Broken pencils are pointless.

1 W' v0 }9 C5 S* F
If the tip of a pencil is broken, the pencil has no point (point-less).  If the tip of a pencil is broken the pencil has no purpose, that it is pointless.  This pun plays with the double meaning of pointless.