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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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) l& |* t& k/ H% \4 D) A. d |* V7 _1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. " ~" t" `# W2 s7 Q
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
' X m3 F9 p; ]+ U7 k4 P3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
4 ]# Y$ ~) t0 t4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. ) Z8 V6 w$ C; r5 E5 V7 Q
5. Weed
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3 J1 m& X# W0 Q& n" f/ R0 s. LTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 6 j, A5 v0 t/ c$ b& f; r
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
' ]* d* w- z* k, D0 ^. t2. Ottawa who?
/ O) f0 u% P9 a& I, t3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
. j+ G3 R& K( @& U7 ?& E8 q4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
7 n5 k$ n3 V6 T/ p, @6 c5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
7 r. g! T0 x4 ]7 B4 a9 O% `6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. * \" F% @7 M% |# K' c9 [9 t; J( N# C
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, V5 L/ I, ~5 L& STOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 4 j5 Z* A( _# z: V) b
9 b$ s. j& g6 [' c! e& K1. You never run out of wheat. ) k: @& E# ]9 C. B+ m {2 g/ S5 f
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
" x1 k! ~; L: i3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
) t' @, i/ w: a/ W# S& X8 V4. People will assume you live on a farm. ' b3 w7 d" C" D9 P4 P1 h; |
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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, c1 J) @8 n. ?2 P6 c1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. . d; Z5 Y6 a- A$ \( x: U2 v7 D0 }
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
" r' l0 r+ n4 j! U7 n3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
+ ]7 D2 ]( l* q) }- \4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
8 m: K- u# i8 C* K" k5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO % s) L0 x; E$ c+ L! B
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
- D0 \0 C7 X! o2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 8 n( b- m5 ]/ C2 X4 E9 R8 X
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
- G y: Z7 p: O& _0 i t) s4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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i* K( V7 N$ ? |. yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC ) g8 s0 \- r" J/ O: H) j9 j% `
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 4 n) d8 O5 F: R; x# V* J# b' C
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 9 B: E' L8 g( N5 x- Q5 s
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
$ Z! \+ A' k" _4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
3 X. i/ u" Y a2 t, i. FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 3 _ T( x4 K2 d1 f! ~6 J
, }9 M% V) B1 n; k" P9 t2 Q6 eTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
# l7 |) [5 c* x* `3 g8 O2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. 6 o5 O# ?! N- |
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick : C0 A C K2 n( H* ], }" F
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. ! K* }1 {: A. R
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. % K o6 {& q+ N) R3 P/ `3 N `: f
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. : Q( a2 q: |( }5 {& ?. P) ~& s" v2 E
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND ( }( S/ q1 L. f' p1 q: }
$ Z; q1 |" R6 `0 }$ `2 f8 {1 S1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
+ S7 S# Q! b* Y9 h1 k2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 2 |; K `( L% O6 Q
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
, A$ K# Z+ {- K H4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 1 }, y3 F! N& x1 z* G% D/ J9 F
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 2 o% c$ |" X/ ^1 \( |1 Z
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. # B5 D1 f7 Q% Z6 {
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
' d+ {3 ]& {2 g- h$ {8 T/ @/ Z2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 5 K8 Z, I$ \, o" k# q8 Q. O
3. The workday is about two hours long. 7 V9 b U/ a& h& F6 v
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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