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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. & T8 w" ^% Q( K3 X! s' N" `
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. % R! W3 Z- I2 _) ~
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
6 q% D, _& {" z/ ?% Z: J7 m4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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% p% f0 `& P( H3 z2 [TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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- z* M% M k5 b2 N+ r2 g1. Big rock between you and B.C.
- ~9 Y- x4 _5 v' o- p8 \% h' L- g. d2. Ottawa who?
! Q2 _3 B" T* ]! L# C3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
: S1 W* x m3 L0 a" Z4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ( D6 b4 C0 v1 |4 z% b
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
5 `- g) J9 c8 Q: V+ y4 I6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. $ U3 p' _. R3 x/ n9 r r) K4 S, y
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN # ?' C3 q' r! |2 J1 i& }* V% S
8 b6 v8 v+ a2 s& }1. You never run out of wheat. . [, B2 o) i) {9 t* Q
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
7 U0 t7 p5 g/ {5 @) @3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. 8 k, X/ _) w4 N& T/ ^/ T
4. People will assume you live on a farm. % e0 W: P4 s+ @) y( z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA & G) ~( p O/ l
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. 8 y6 i2 s' W- y. k) P/ ~8 R" Z
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
$ B5 o' `# a8 E9 E3 N: Q2 j; Y3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. & b/ X' D- a2 S8 j* e5 B7 g
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 2 F9 Z2 u% _5 d
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. ; j& f; Y3 X0 r$ U- @
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, n. J* B. g( V* L/ K) ]TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 8 K; e6 L9 H* [
" D6 O1 c5 {6 C2 W' D! J) y" C4 j ?1. You live in the centre of the universe. ! T9 m# ] A/ w# y2 g0 j5 a
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
! U% i5 L+ x. T9 q* Q# K9 H3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
( M4 U, i" Z% W4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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: q( H5 w2 U" M M, M' `9 LTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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4 u; J4 M. J9 p/ G9 @1. Racism is socially acceptable 7 x3 @* T8 }& o! `5 l
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 7 u( {4 p4 p: n8 A: M, B6 d
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
& A! R8 K% w: f4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
7 N" j! v& ~3 T2 P/ \0 g* o1 x0 N& KTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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( P Q! X2 j5 B* I) \7 UTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ; h. _1 U" F3 u: x! a( P; N! _. j/ Z
! K5 ^. J5 a0 [9 n) P( F' v9 Q+ Z1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. % V! t- A7 k; ^2 U' \+ [
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
. b% Y5 g/ Q) n9 Z3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 7 g- l# k$ V+ a% }% ~8 h1 C8 e
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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' r& Q" K6 {2 u) N+ F+ E; NTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. ?8 v4 i# o/ u& g: P1 P
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 5 |1 ^3 k9 k0 h
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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% s6 ]; Q% V2 FTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
1 i1 L6 j( O% p9 l5 P2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ( l1 O/ i/ L6 ^4 }( x
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
# O6 g- c) T4 _$ t4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." ' }0 E2 n, t) g: V0 `; T
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. + d- q) c. O2 k) h/ m2 Q
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
. W5 p& f& k$ @/ z8 ^- e2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
8 D/ y: r* K) P; t; [4 O! l1 T3. The workday is about two hours long. 2 ]1 @/ T. _' X* C4 S
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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