埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2854|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
: V$ P% |$ r5 [% p* c( t7 p$ k5 [/ y: q) y8 P" Z
" x2 ^( c  Q9 y, C
; H7 O0 y2 a/ J
1. Bring your own house.
0 ]+ b) k# |% J9 J+ i
2 r" H: k+ @- L3 w$ U; ?  n9 T 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 Y" N# B& t9 `: T5 q' [
hospital.
- a0 J0 o* w9 j. U! @" a% Y
: Z4 r5 r6 [' z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 W* o4 q# W# Q' Y6 b
capital of Canada .
; I+ B* U( j& R: N! `3 S8 d. C# ~5 g2 {, r
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
0 x. F4 a# ^* K0 Y& T7 C/ S8 B; `5 G; o% Z
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. S0 b# S+ }  |
capital of Canada .
0 x- R4 T& {0 I: x1 F9 J: ~4 s  _6 ^
9 h4 ~$ s8 s/ ~- l# w. u 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is) O- n! }" _/ p
$8.00/hour.  g% T4 a0 H& X
. M+ X# a3 i  X, Q& X! ^8 \9 w
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
. R  ~( r& S8 Y3 _  k
1 u2 g: W0 Z, {, F7 J: k 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: v( H6 Y- [( l2 i/ g
on a 15 year holiday ?8 U1 V6 x9 b; O3 [1 R! [0 j* c. g" R
) Y& H, F7 T5 t+ {% b6 ^
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. c- r& t# R2 b8 U9 \5 X- d, n
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)) n; L$ N3 z% P8 H. k
9 x+ p' h; c! L: E. q9 \4 z
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 Z: }& J* l8 y- W+ J5 j
here sick.* t# K' ?) d: ]; ]
- W0 q9 {3 L2 N3 `7 a% D: e, \) h" ^% F# z
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 }6 |3 I. T* hyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.% B7 l$ x* a7 Q4 O. [/ f, d
! W, L2 K8 e4 N; }

; d" x' L7 p7 o9 Q% ]- q  U. C+ v3 w" v; u
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :' h0 S% w0 s5 P# T; z4 z$ Z" m: {
& `8 A3 b$ E# A7 {  t
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 H6 F4 \$ C0 F& Q- F

. j+ l8 h& {; N4 Q' s7 I( z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 U* d% r# [; Q! S7 A; _0 a5 kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
. A# w# m0 R6 s) D0 K) ^, e# Q9 G! O+ d% C4 C
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 p2 n4 u1 a% c( s! M- Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 A5 r3 Q0 E, Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 _( H* a5 I; T" fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell  e3 w" q# t' O4 \! `, [
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
& d$ p+ \7 _' H0 W; D; c& @4 n* s& z) J& m; z4 F
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, M5 N. Q! j% a1 c( y# F2 v( P
cussed out, and possibly shot.
3 W: ]* }* p& M8 E  m3 M% L# ]3 j" {
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; i! g+ p- f# T- ^  N
can get you shot.
3 c3 |4 W' b/ _, o* T8 m$ a- @; x/ N: M' O0 n1 Q: E) ~7 |
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 d4 j  s9 ?- u5 d% ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' W4 Y  w  k4 g2 p" fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and! z# _/ }: M7 l) s0 C5 T
more construction starts everyday.
# W# L, G) ~) ~/ i1 L6 v7 ^+ |
  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% g) v/ M+ x5 Q' s. a5 G9 y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," j3 i& U% d3 N  [" h' }7 ^, b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
( D" k8 U7 M% B$ W+ F0 {  ]4 b
# k7 L& G4 h' r0 X" P- w4 c  l' Y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( ^, \4 f+ Y1 |$ O, W/ n" m" k4 vthe same road.
6 G! y1 o7 x1 X
/ j7 o$ B/ _; }8 s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 _. ]5 n# \& s7 R* l- C6 s9 g
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
1 t+ h  b4 s9 i6 l! R; |activated.") ]. {+ J1 X1 H( u8 |) W

6 }8 T% l& p- @) [8 |! ]' J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
  s$ ^% K9 d3 n* b, Yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" U& x& T) R' o7 k4 q2 `7 i/ O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
; c: o5 ~( y% U% l9 g5 {) F# Y: j' B" B8 _3 z
11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. a: v, l4 B: alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 Y( ]) Q- X' }  g3 `& sblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 \; x( k" _# _( i* tvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

- T6 k: }- Z4 T& U1 ~: B& r) M. [0 p  o有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ t( b& W9 [4 K0 E) {: m$ z满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。" S1 N1 p- d: f
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
* [5 ?0 Y' A( w; h3 G
  N8 [6 @( Q  \; y此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
& h1 H, m' Z; \& n, R; d# S  l! E9 U  A% w
* u! Q5 a# y& D7 n2 U$ R" A
% H# ?0 x* k; b4 P
[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 6 H' @7 q+ t& C
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
6 P  v/ w$ W2 Q4 j满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。/ V2 |5 Z1 b, b: {
...

$ D" ~7 ?! s- g# R ; n* o3 ^# E2 c7 S; x
说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
' Y* P: Z: y' L2 H! O5 |9 y' \* t8 [1 g- S" ?0 Z* q

8 x  Q  x, K/ A; w# \) {% r: C 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

1 W5 w# l) {( ^, f
8 ?$ ^6 Q6 z, P& a0 R4 t1 S8 s这么刺痛你了吗?
$ m/ y) g0 m$ ? 2 g/ Q5 I& a! A, A, ^
我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
* o4 v) \2 _" y9 n0 x! l0 z朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% K1 _$ l' H# s4 g1 k满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。. X" E% s& R( D, E! r$ x/ H
...
$ G! {% D! C4 E: G  F$ p# J
你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。" s8 F! B) L$ t6 w. F
2 h6 n9 w1 D% o! S9 g
再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
& f5 U: y' p" S% u
5 K+ J/ A& w8 _0 [5 y$ |; P! g8 m/ K
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-2-8 19:58 , Processed in 0.153884 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表