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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house./ t& U3 b u. Y1 _& S
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* U- d1 n7 e2 W, k) y% ]
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .1 R3 T. o' S" J1 n- e+ Z
4 k: P% V! G7 I0 {* T. ^* J# @ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 X+ b& j* {' |! A% w% O$ ocapital of Canada .* W, w8 Q! k4 |5 m [
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is4 t8 E) Q; M: f
$8.00/hour.3 u! Y$ s$ x7 h. k( T
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 w* f9 i* K$ S( ]
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' G1 c% m W, eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)) e* p- e, o& ]9 Z
% t2 g2 E, E9 I, Y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 N! @2 A$ E+ hhere sick.
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" y/ u9 n& c/ ?: |, m11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ |0 A ^( H0 K8 u- q B9 L
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ [5 q8 a- D/ A5 n
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$ W! g& b8 m% x4 t, `0 z7 U THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :. `. P$ g7 O2 m# O: X5 f c
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% o( h" C& Q" X( O9 F5 O1 f2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 ` I% C6 ]# h3 G' ?2 nis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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/ R8 H7 B0 z9 i! i3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 w1 Q9 ?: v, l$ Yown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& w. ~( ?0 T+ ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 E% a, Q. l! D& a* U3 O/ D
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% L5 r: z' L" t8 \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) g2 M: K8 T$ U, r
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. y- D7 `- v% u3 d3 Ocussed out, and possibly shot., @0 m. ?: x% K. |& A, W; i
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# ?+ F% H& A. `% t+ I( ^1 b/ O
can get you shot.
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: Z: Z6 ~1 V d) l4 C9 m5 P! h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ o* f1 ]' o' [* b! {, p2 Y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ b1 O, J! r) M: O$ E+ b9 J7 a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* W' L; i' T; q/ Fmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 D1 L7 {; K9 c* c( S! q( gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 f. o3 C7 J$ g% l; Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. p* Y1 x7 L6 _
' k# Q# p) ?5 l9 e6 g0 }0 x8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' p8 \8 p5 a# Y1 P' Y0 D
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# y$ S W6 u1 S, Q1 L8 ]9 H4 Oshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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2 \3 u9 Y8 I; h# f9 q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km' N( B% N% D( I. U
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
D0 Z1 y) H+ W5 R) R" y3 [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 L: p1 g8 i: t6 B# p$ M
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 w8 I) }- R) V/ v* C" @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 B" f g; w" g. s2 [blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( p4 t" q* ?( K3 M. F I2 L, v# pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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