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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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, k" [! S# I: ]$ A 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ Q& c; U* S/ H" x' _" s
hospital. W- f. h6 m, C1 ?( L2 J
6 Y+ w O3 G8 j# r+ n* `2 y 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 x r M `8 {0 g! ~( ~capital of Canada .- p- `3 r. k6 {0 j" o6 u
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 o! [ S) J" l8 b+ q8 a
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 R3 ~ \" v% i0 E$ j
capital of Canada .
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+ g/ ^+ U/ O* Y. N 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is. i) W/ g' |6 D8 u3 |# v, p
$8.00/hour.9 G8 n6 L$ O* V. w. Y* x5 s0 w
* ?, |* j% D4 T6 y/ R1 r 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ @7 D0 v8 Z7 D X4 a% Iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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e/ P+ Y2 p$ o- r10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 Q2 Y t/ |- S; H2 X
here sick.0 Q+ B" [7 N% D' H5 A4 X
* N% Z& h) \% @1 m& x; b11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' N' V2 g) x0 _5 g& o5 E! h
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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/ m% o0 |8 M2 ^0 _7 S; m THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 f, n& D N" b7 c6 R
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., g' L: F7 |- R3 J! F7 O. P" y8 f
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ E/ G K& A# c4 L6 C3 S s& B
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its9 g$ c4 U+ |- o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% W# W. _9 d6 v, Y" o; h- O/ I; W$ Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# C( @$ G3 j8 E. J# d6 [
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ |3 z0 v# R! E4 r& l8 ^- ?! s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 Z' _( B3 [9 }; W8 R [
. i$ f2 p6 `! f2 s; g4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* S. H ?7 e- A% }5 d Icussed out, and possibly shot.$ G/ |5 }$ Z+ q# W
: j2 O6 W3 r- {5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 \) m) H# t, z0 B( K
can get you shot.1 l* b% U: i6 t9 R3 Y' b, o, L* A
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. |7 l; C( g5 Vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ k- |, u x% J' yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 `9 d/ n0 W5 ]: g) I/ C, t: U) a
more construction starts everyday.
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! e9 a2 V1 B% k, n1 a: L8 b2 }7 e 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 c% C2 h! Z7 J O) E, q* t, _# Cdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 R. Y# ?' _: Q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 U6 Q/ g4 V) o) f
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all j. i. g1 e, q/ H% ^/ ~
the same road.6 ~0 L1 t% v# r0 G! c+ U3 S
8 \8 R/ n0 f* e a2 u9 P* b9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& o8 L y6 T9 w) u8 T3 ]shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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( o+ ]8 r4 e0 d10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 Q6 }* E% z6 ^4 U% q; czone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
/ ~0 F0 E0 A- N. f$ z( T Zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.% `5 c+ Y5 \6 J
: W: k; N% U$ V" J8 E+ N5 I7 A11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 ]- l: `5 u& K
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, m/ c' b! {; \& q$ Q$ V" L* N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% S0 g4 _5 q! J# O! j! nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
