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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 B& d) i9 x( M" m. }
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9 z% C: e. P7 D$ y 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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$ T3 k' ~0 r7 A. G* L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ d0 s9 m. x V. K" H# B# d( |( c3 Icapital of Canada .6 c! c* S% } z3 q5 V; f: J+ z3 y
( } U& D% {' Y! ~/ k) R5 T' m 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ X# {2 I ?6 J4 y& k) k# k
j9 i6 ]' |) F& j, w2 A; U; R 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- `: s# P& v7 D0 Y6 w
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 G. u0 k, ?# [7 l
$8.00/hour.) c8 T! [; q. K
: z- m2 C; _( ^4 h: ?* k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) f2 ?. d$ J( s5 x2 con a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ M# X; ~4 [6 s. q$ P+ uprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 z, z5 g$ K) h- [/ h5 \
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 y9 K. H% z O8 Q( N, V
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' U9 M5 A2 F) a& o8 jyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 V: P2 A0 @" \$ Z
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; G& C6 ~! s3 E' }9 I. z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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0 p- p1 t: U" f5 m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& p( S9 a; U, X& J
, Q( K6 z" R$ G8 L7 u/ m2 u( {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- Q2 ]* o) y$ |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& F1 p3 H- Y# F" R$ I/ Z7 |7 X. K
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# D/ Y. S) L" A; h' ^) J9 s$ wmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; g$ z9 n- G f; O5 \& I: Jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# S0 P# l3 o) I3 n2 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& o! v3 B. Z! q7 f0 Ucussed out, and possibly shot.0 C3 D6 n6 y0 w7 t% ]
7 v# |& v5 F1 C0 I' k6 N. J5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& Z/ ~% l1 g% K* I
can get you shot.
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N; K- `5 S+ t) Y. W6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, c, {; ?" U' ?% g
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 ]5 b6 l( q R+ m& Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: u e- U7 p! v$ U# K- lmore construction starts everyday." x; r* ~4 C) i5 Q& F
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! {3 Z. x6 N. X; h# N
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 ]5 Y a4 c: A' W/ H* \; k
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 v& k" q/ u& f9 z) F9 h8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, b/ Y* ~7 c+ `% K. i' u; B
the same road.' z+ K& b/ T5 u8 |$ P1 g0 S
3 W# @" {! v9 s' G0 r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ b4 N/ v' f5 S. g H1 ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
9 Q1 j: c: r* D7 _% q5 L U# M* ]activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( R+ M1 L3 A7 o7 I# nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# i8 `4 T; u5 C1 T0 a( c
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' A3 P" `# Z. l F5 C7 Z5 tvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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