送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA


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1 @1 M& F* B3 j% ]$ G, ?/ ^& O  | 1. Bring your own house.
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+ {, X* B- s# v4 z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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* `% B; {+ K! T 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' c) b3 ~: a4 k( T. Hcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

4 p% ^! ?6 L$ _8 n4 J% G* X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- p+ Z0 R! [! s! Gprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

8 A3 Y( l3 k+ i, u9 J* s10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 ]! M1 v& z1 d/ O2 a" T! X& M) ?7 Oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

+ H' m1 @: J; ?3 X- U# z) H5 B, s2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" m3 p/ J( ~4 {. ?is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ q+ ~6 O5 e2 y& R+ T3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; G  J# {$ w: g. f$ s0 @9 E9 wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 g, g; g2 G2 n  @; Rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ Q' O' m- v- Bcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

! y/ Y( D( D# r3 @" b- j6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! G: t4 S9 {2 A: m# R) Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 ~4 c2 }# a& ^$ G! Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, D' \- N+ c5 \7 K$ J; {& wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

/ b/ _+ v; V, f* V4 M) ^8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* f+ F! Z& q! c2 \6 L0 Uthe same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ P3 i3 Q+ ]* k+ o3 `shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
& D, z& W$ ?0 ?1 l# iactivated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. l0 _. H! X* w# e4 vzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
  k2 q) S. U8 X0 Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 T( K2 h4 n: p6 O& uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

7 i2 ^8 F2 v* g4 g7 C有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
1 H$ k0 o$ K8 k满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
/ ]3 }4 A2 @7 c- v9 w有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

' K% O  K  q, @" u& n1 C6 L! r* e此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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/ ^+ [. Q" T8 f* b[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% R* k& k8 G  h/ v" e. P0 m6 a朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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. Q, Q% a5 r/ y/ i3 k7 p 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？

5 n& x* m! b- G我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
; S9 X( `& v" \! a+ E朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.