 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% t4 ~+ r) ^, D f/ p; \& B: p
R- M0 C/ v# M. g# X( k5 h; g" n2 j: Y3 |+ k
! _/ M7 ~$ D+ ?) t& y 1. Bring your own house.# r6 \" l" W# @
9 t3 ~+ o& d/ }4 `, ~% d9 ~
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- x+ X) ~/ x2 _
hospital.. r F2 B" R/ X+ L
% e0 [$ [5 f" R) D$ i9 ]3 w! a9 X
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 o+ }4 K. @$ j. d& d' j6 _$ P/ m
capital of Canada .5 B% I+ l0 r6 e4 M/ I
3 @( A P( \" U% B9 A' @) | 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 A7 r6 }: q) c0 H( P
0 }% n. c' J" y1 B
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
' ^6 L: m, n' x% `# n( B; B! B, g+ z& Hcapital of Canada .; C- U0 L9 u/ V" P# l1 `
5 R. l! j4 h; i0 C3 }& T 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 q4 Q# A- O& T) s$8.00/hour.5 A" A! w2 h; N. b7 M( F5 l5 ]
# G2 v" R1 x+ e1 `* a
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( H/ Q) {4 t- D
8 z* r9 U, |: `; n0 [ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: Y4 r& x$ g3 W2 ~4 Don a 15 year holiday ?
- I% D2 f* o) K- y+ k4 N" Y3 U! ~: D$ l
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 F7 {+ } m; J8 Q8 ^prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' w! Z% A! g% O. M. b" L9 ^6 }
& d6 Y! ~- B7 E- N; k2 ]( n10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 T! o, f5 s. d8 w7 N. b# [& jhere sick.( q3 H* @) ^0 }( D9 C
$ j) n" o2 S9 y2 [: d: j1 r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 e- z0 ?2 w5 D; I. ]+ Q$ gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
. \, l" C Y0 m0 o
- Y. l' x- x, b0 U
K. ?" r# b4 m1 b! J0 I( B" F5 `* m7 T5 p/ Z' `# o3 E/ K+ o
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, g& A) L# i% `9 O; L
. H. g7 w) [. W7 u: y9 p1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
. H C9 d+ u. S; B$ y U$ ]$ |
T9 h- m8 I3 B/ C0 \/ s, t2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' C# b/ x) [* iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ y% t7 a- [4 j* T6 k4 w2 ^
: L0 `. t1 _* ~- t# [) G+ G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 p' N- V& \0 r* Z& o' f5 r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 t# ~: r5 M5 K, v9 s+ ^
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 g9 s1 I4 R$ l8 `7 f7 \go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) H9 i( q+ P, b' H! x4 p- _; Bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
( A3 @* @0 v0 Z! Y l; |( s+ _1 s
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 W! r o+ {6 j% G1 q7 B
cussed out, and possibly shot.
: J, \2 T9 ?% Q6 E3 e$ C; _# _& Y) P, k
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ d8 y. g. e. B; X1 w0 g6 Ican get you shot./ O" Q& s' v; M7 `: w# o& w7 \! E
; z5 Z+ J$ c% A: X4 s
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ H0 O2 j7 _% {6 G: q: S$ e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% V& ~3 x+ n8 T9 X: yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 Y. h O8 E/ _& Z: L. Zmore construction starts everyday.
* Z' l- {# @& l6 h1 R6 t8 U' }' @- b/ `3 x! ?9 |" `
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& h! z- l' Y5 \. E) X: ]! c; q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 |; J1 T: D3 _7 Usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
2 T1 l* Z: m5 S8 h2 S, J- J6 g* i! \9 P$ B2 V9 c
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 J- w, ^; h3 |/ j
the same road.) G- f l& U" O5 s) z9 C2 F
0 r; O7 a: o7 u+ Z* ?0 f
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 Q& t# v* v1 V7 [1 v. x( _
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
2 u1 A; V8 |3 o' Wactivated."7 ^" {0 L: `4 ?- I
( B' b4 K$ h! t
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" Z% V/ k: d# o1 l* n# F. ]
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"! ]. u9 e( R) i' _
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.- Z/ {/ k3 @( a. T! y/ V0 b5 D
2 n6 H/ H: b! d5 ^
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 E+ \: U( e) F) v! Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; a& i( O% D- r2 _" T( h
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ L! m$ L8 G. y5 l' |! Jvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
2 H9 p$ i) }4 P2 o# n6 C
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
5 F, ~* R( ]+ ]
