送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

0 |( U: [( S4 T# X& K
9 n9 B( B; z' S- j1 @
2 n9 _' [9 p+ h3 F& p% w1 K 1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

! o# K# K6 ]0 K3 I7 d  v 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
8 b7 t9 D6 B7 U# g1 P
7 l3 E' j4 d; l- Q9 C 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

+ d" n8 ^4 \% m! N: |& N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
- k, K$ N! W0 u! ^) T7 {+ Y6 D
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

' n9 C8 ~0 }9 S0 k+ r: F* C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ f1 q. Q! l7 t2 A9 v# `0 v; e( U$ Ton a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

( m& L: q8 o, T9 q2 a10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: |" H, T* D; g2 @; w- Gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


% G. C+ O2 W3 q
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

- a4 N6 A* J% A# r5 P, Y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

4 \6 E4 x* ]5 r( C& D# b3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* |2 v; k6 ~" c8 R( M3 cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
) G3 w$ F' O4 y" K/ t
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 J  ?, p* L5 F0 i+ b: Mcan get you shot.
* B* }0 H) v& ?( w
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 u* T3 ]9 n8 H4 z& v. G) fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 x2 y) D2 u% \, t! cmore construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 D9 S) s! `9 m  H1 Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
. K3 R0 K, R0 r* N# S+ \8 b6 m
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

9 g0 m. V  |7 ~  ^& B0 Q! q  u5 z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
. [" @- ~; [& w/ Dactivated."
* g- U$ Q7 j% U& d, v
1 P9 b6 O2 D! [10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% D/ M0 u, V: ?$ E( M: b" P4 C8 o4 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 ]" X8 z  Z& }" \blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' \5 W8 _4 G& l8 Ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

6 q* p5 D% \1 }- J: x有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

% c5 x' q/ L" n* y+ g此地钱多, 人傻, 速来


" o+ l% v& m$ w9 s4 @
+ D3 |' d9 r* I! n[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) L) |3 r. Q$ i0 G朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
  G: V. c% {# H6 Y ...

% w/ h; T- l+ d% e  n$ J
说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

* i) z' q$ c6 |
这么刺痛你了吗？
) y- ~; D  s# ]# m. v. a- c
我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
6 }8 T0 f" I$ \满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
& S; I" Z- J; y3 p* M. [/ |2 w ...

% `, f8 w, X% w( f9 w+ l9 L" R你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

6 }4 z, z% ~  C- {2 Q再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.