 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ A' q* _( f Q- t) b( F; {# Q. R
. C/ ]+ e% T, L* H) ^/ w/ E
- v% d. T% I/ @/ \4 k; H X, G; J E
* Z0 s# V* ?: M4 I# Y& a% w 1. Bring your own house.2 u! H! [$ y9 l1 n
W; ]+ d" K2 d8 @/ G1 U
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and D: Q" r. H ?
hospital./ t( C' x ] }' b1 q
% [9 M9 S- C5 g# p4 u( t 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder- T3 a% u1 X+ g- E) W7 A- c
capital of Canada .! l8 h0 y5 r2 t5 h; D
9 h5 K- b& T, z# C; z
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# T( X. z$ r7 |6 i6 H
% r, r& U1 h9 r8 P! r$ {- ]/ U
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug2 E6 A4 S7 w; X2 B! C' u+ V
capital of Canada .5 K( c; ?" t. X1 L4 _/ ]
+ J' h2 r0 ?2 T4 P' V
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 [+ r* N4 B8 `# J. m$8.00/hour.
9 m& G. `9 f# m! }: Y7 ]1 Y5 [# b j
5 J$ f3 c7 g* V/ b) d8 e 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
" Z/ R# H8 j' Z1 M1 Y
3 ^% f9 i% X+ W# k0 M; x 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) J* I: N& p; T9 a1 s2 E2 a6 aon a 15 year holiday ?
# q' y) F( f0 r, m* N2 a! \
7 ?7 j J7 R$ o 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" O8 o$ l. c( H' ~3 H* B& r# Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)) {' C, c+ s& I! |- x* [
$ F2 g& _1 n5 Y1 Z2 g10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# U( A& c/ S* Z: s2 Y4 K
here sick.
2 W: s. m4 F" n& M! H* U0 g% G/ V5 G$ f6 t/ S& Q( ~9 g
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 X" W5 ]/ E3 d0 k' w$ n! nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
( n+ \1 t2 o9 u5 e' f: m& [6 U) l2 t! F/ l8 a# N; q7 [, w/ a9 z4 A( z
7 U( ^5 F6 D; d6 \, M
" N n. Z; ~* K/ A THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ B. y+ q2 @% }: {9 ^
3 Z( ]( Z+ X2 x& ~+ y7 A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% X( K7 o& j# a( o/ Q, k3 s" f K
) G# d, j% Q; o; p7 L* I2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 @; V- q, h8 [8 i3 S) Z& a: ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
( W: k9 `' F% {6 J; {8 o/ C' B9 a& c+ u
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ U/ w, p8 b! O$ j, Q: r5 Jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- b; F8 V, y9 p! _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( J) X0 l5 h1 B# _& P( @4 P: ~go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell4 @: D- d% [0 y& \ p
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 s; U l( [$ {$ o( ^
5 Q7 ?& _# j! w5 V. z. f4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 A' Q1 Q4 _3 x, f7 ~
cussed out, and possibly shot.
P! j0 ^* e) N' G( @* H5 ?. U6 {8 }! Z0 [
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& M$ L2 e( U r" o3 j( }3 R
can get you shot.+ b3 q8 {! Y/ z' C9 ?5 t
( j8 z( C3 S# @7 a% k2 D5 ?
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 o) J; i9 a, I7 }1 q7 x( D& pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 C7 U8 N: O& ?day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 r) z' ?- K# A0 e- O {more construction starts everyday.
* a5 ]( \7 K* f2 F+ X, _2 X: R
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
+ W1 p; @7 C% x3 e; b( ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- f. w, `8 M- K
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
2 C9 c, c+ A$ U6 _3 K. s
8 z& \# W/ Z0 }# s3 I) u4 Z% F8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
! {1 f6 k. e w; }; z: r. y& S9 Gthe same road.
6 M: |; m$ `( R4 }, p& u' {
& f; R3 M7 v( s: W9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. H% l; }) g o `3 Jshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" e; g) F* f, ^) M# R
activated."
0 j" W. V$ d% q
4 A* ^% e$ N( p" ~( }% p10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 w) O) y* n' r H# ~) @7 gzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 m. B% L7 W% q, Gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 h' _1 ^+ x# e7 J4 m8 f
% F+ ?( I! d2 g6 ]4 [11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' x4 p* A" |& @2 f/ d' m1 T2 i$ Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 S( Q$ V6 k5 D9 [- B( n! h
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
8 i" o/ S+ I \( Hvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
7 b* H u$ L( J3 ]1 J5 s" P
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
9 J* v5 v9 M5 I* F
" v N' ^2 e0 ^( n7 v
