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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA @) {! X" Y% \' X
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1. Bring your own house., Y- [0 Z: ^1 ]7 I3 P: Z) v8 N
/ X# F! a. g# H5 @, r4 h) E. ` 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
7 v, b) C9 C: q& [6 B) `+ Y$ xhospital.
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9 J! A/ a h6 V4 _2 D0 o: P 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder; j# t; b- T. O& A! {
capital of Canada .
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L8 B1 u! H* ?* P2 u 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% Z1 ~; Y; R/ ^ T
. t R( M4 G9 n+ \, L3 N$ q/ w 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 f" K( _( f0 t& f. C: L( A Bcapital of Canada ., s: [9 V6 B# L; N1 x6 r( t9 A4 r
/ R9 i: V P- {) k8 R1 ^$ O9 Y8 x 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ ? I9 s( D- ~8 v) S1 ?6 X! n
$8.00/hour.) p, L# A5 r* P3 q, r; F
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour., M) G# Z/ s( s8 G4 q1 W
2 F k4 Q) u9 j$ r" `* S; M 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ {8 r5 P0 ^% W. D' b# Non a 15 year holiday ?+ m0 w" k* I$ k2 g
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 U& \( X- i, W: o @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 Y! n6 w: I% \10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come( G; f, q9 `$ n3 d$ j" `
here sick.) _ H) |0 A! n% I
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12) X0 |. ^+ m% a# B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 m9 |" v6 X$ ~- Z; C1 T1 Q$ k
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( j, g8 c, i2 R0 X+ E
1 U6 A7 V$ z Q3 n9 M6 ?$ i) [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 b3 N8 E/ N0 m# g4 Wis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ M* I. u% V- w
% W3 O$ I6 V+ d" [/ Q3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% l4 `% @+ ?6 q2 G4 Jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. G8 n+ Z7 D; j6 @$ C n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% Z* h. _) l( @! ?8 l
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 Q4 M0 q) ?' e$ F) Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 f) f& e9 ^/ } ?3 E! \/ a" W- O4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 f/ A: }, l9 K# ]6 q' Z, W; S) }1 W
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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) J6 @+ a% _& c, v1 c5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 i* I- T M% U3 w- qcan get you shot.
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8 ^5 ]" P9 E, f. i6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" a2 g" ^# S& b* V+ xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% j" s4 i+ Z) i p" \, I5 ~; H/ o; X
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 c8 P2 ^3 d9 }% y; q+ t0 X9 jmore construction starts everyday.
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0 a3 P* y+ s f' I' g& ]! _ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 J" Q' H. v+ f; d
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' V# U. `. s, g7 \4 H. T: usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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0 o, _8 a( G5 e4 M0 {+ n8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ Q: e' Y0 c, J4 |, I+ s
the same road.
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T% H( y, b% N5 s) [9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 i. ?9 {" c0 u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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- w7 c6 p/ Y2 L$ w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" h9 l- {; ?$ Q, j
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 E$ f( I! L- ]: d" @5 k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 H8 n* X6 U; F
L8 S% ?5 ^/ \6 _) y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 a" S# J8 p6 Y1 llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 e" H& r6 ~* }* t: sblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" C! k G, @3 `6 {5 I" e; J
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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