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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA3 U i$ j; n5 Y& _/ R8 P5 h
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! b- b/ [" l: s# t5 f 1. Bring your own house.
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: h% z+ L, J" }8 F- @( Q. D1 H1 ~; H 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 N7 D; t- {, b% n) P
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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0 C+ }; B* G. T) S8 v3 q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( Q, w7 \; _1 {2 i6 K$8.00/hour. ]5 J* z0 f6 Z1 J- T
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; ? U/ e# L" a# J5 O
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' \* s, }+ S- d7 `% w% W) S9 E8 W/ G
on a 15 year holiday ?& ^, X2 F$ C; {% T2 W- Y! w* ^
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: C1 ]1 x2 [& P/ L8 Nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 G7 r: e+ ~: I* e
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& |7 o1 y) z: g. F! S7 }' V
here sick.1 c, K* n8 F9 K6 C0 Q L, r
: j( g+ I% I# P: I8 _11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ f1 U0 G2 `$ P1 {0 g1 l7 f/ n
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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1 t g( S q2 L- t THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".4 {* W$ _' |4 Z' H# v0 G& C% {5 c' ]
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour% @, p8 K6 _8 b8 _
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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# M$ k4 o8 Q) h% j! `) M3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' L7 I; g! x* B# F& c1 h
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" v. k& U9 R$ gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ X" j+ o: c1 I' O$ g& a
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# a4 u2 d+ `: `3 O. Hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 d/ r1 ]0 B& a/ C: D/ V( v4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 T. R( @1 n$ ?0 I' l, gcussed out, and possibly shot., \: z& |4 |, O. w- Q, X
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 t( {, B6 P0 Y) r2 q3 e4 A& \
can get you shot.
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- E: P9 K) I' q4 R2 j, p6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 y2 c- R. g6 W L. j8 g$ @barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, c' A z" n! o, e2 pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 @/ e8 W3 w: ^
more construction starts everyday.$ r/ I3 V. g. o/ t
N7 s; {( P$ ] 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# B/ L M2 Y+ T3 R6 M& l( edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& ^. ^& F( e0 @1 T' E* _
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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& A; w2 a2 j/ g4 d& V) g* n8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. B5 m+ [: V8 {# |- S/ n
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. |, l* V( a4 m- {2 P% a r( c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" R! ? @; x6 O/ W( w
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- v' n9 @' U- ?$ Q6 _+ ^
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# ^8 Z/ ^+ g+ x; R: j& W- W
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 f: y* ~4 u/ C# m& u
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ w1 B6 T" G8 F
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 L: \ E+ F+ A! p
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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