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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.. a4 H3 D, H- j) R/ d& n
+ G* d* ]5 t; f6 y. ] 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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6 q' v/ n8 L d# N2 L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% P) j t. W& x' l; V! t+ X; r
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ u" a* Z) k' i
capital of Canada .
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3 P5 {6 x- J6 B" B 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. j$ H/ u3 p4 f+ z2 L$8.00/hour.+ _, Q9 [( l+ m: q$ ^1 I
/ X( ~9 n& f' |* y6 M1 a1 ?1 K/ C 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; E& U$ F2 E6 ~( n3 C% U( G
4 O6 D* N) C/ l7 p9 t 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 k- I. x" M y4 hon a 15 year holiday ?
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( ~9 I, y, a5 @ p 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas+ L5 m3 N% |3 `0 p3 V
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 Z z- K; s1 \- _& c" m
) h! D2 M2 z( Z" p6 A. k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
! x3 h& N9 P/ F k* Ahere sick.
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G. _3 h- ^/ a. w* z2 L11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 i6 ]+ B9 b4 y u4 h4 K
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 C. B {4 \& m* f2 S; `
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8 r% d9 M) l0 t6 {8 C; P0 @ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 |% U& W7 h2 K9 l) o- V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, O# k4 C$ K: s2 d/ f1 E( m& \; ]
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.6 b; ?- A( w4 T% G" G L
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# Z: _% C% l S% m
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest" Q6 [/ B2 J/ r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' d% l- `% E- Y/ o5 Tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 N$ y5 X( q! b+ s! n
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 P) W( h, X9 d$ [# g l: \# F1 Y
0 Q7 n4 N3 R2 y, Q4 Y4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. V$ }0 u- `3 F3 v H5 x, W
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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; V4 o4 a; _4 {6 L6 m5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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" f- a$ Z6 Q- O7 m$ f6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" S1 g; L9 U% r$ S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) W( \2 b/ z2 R. T4 R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. |0 ^- W" S. j: n2 H2 Dmore construction starts everyday.0 t2 E% M6 g8 j5 e# E
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ }! j( M/ T% m1 ~/ _
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, U7 v! Q4 U8 O# ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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$ l q9 S0 }5 O$ l: @6 m- v% `8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- z- H5 W5 s' K
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the8 H5 L4 X: a, C) J7 U: M
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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0 Z) V+ X) V! Y, H* n" H10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ i7 G% E! ?. a& u
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; z/ @ P# I/ r( `' O! l) baccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 n' H K; K% a, U
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- X9 P3 h. V4 ]: I2 \4 mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ w" ^0 z+ M1 D3 w) l0 |$ P
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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