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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 n2 H4 m9 V8 @. r+ k4 Rcapital of Canada ., p7 n3 L, U( v$ G" Y
( G; }2 J# W, v$ G: Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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) d! w6 S' |! o, H 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! f0 ~/ c1 F6 _% bcapital of Canada .# l! Q0 J+ a! n3 i$ O4 T" }; T
7 x3 h/ e/ I1 W. M: A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* b8 I2 p' O) f9 |$ ?" h# E
$8.00/hour.5 w, B* [0 A8 Y$ J- d& s
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour. Z4 \0 l9 J# M k I2 A
# `+ {& H0 |3 @" M) L5 e Q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; C! D& a/ v" V& ^4 b
on a 15 year holiday ?/ _3 _# O" ?, S6 Z, { c; N P
. |) b8 |) x% M0 Z% K 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, I7 ^; [0 C6 H' c! P$ hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# X5 ]7 M0 x' ^: P& ?
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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9 N. L! ?/ p) `+ V11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; _' g0 J% c! l! Y. S
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 S- s# d0 M/ Z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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6 y9 x# i+ B& H5 t+ B1 S2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 ~; v5 G) [ c% d, F) | v# U3 lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) n, h0 n% ]- z8 a* v% t5 {! u
4 C% q2 U M; ^( Y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! D; f! e3 }( O- i- H$ B0 @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- u- z+ k) I$ D" Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 f0 L1 d; Q% S9 l0 k, Y4 e# o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- ]- p* m3 i9 E! [phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( W$ B6 a( t0 v9 e
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( t6 \6 \$ Y+ u
cussed out, and possibly shot.: `9 o$ J8 ^, Q0 Z6 ]- |% ]4 _
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 v2 A+ Z5 m# Y
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: r. d3 `- U6 X5 ?* x9 t
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. _& s5 i$ T1 R1 t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% u& J! g& [; d7 y9 a3 |more construction starts everyday.4 m# m; A! r7 u0 @& D: C2 M1 E
. h! T# Q4 |8 a1 E4 I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- H. _& a) l+ z5 u8 ^0 Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 n' T- u" x5 `6 I4 e1 rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 n4 p8 c# \1 ~
8 d( r: Q. O& g' ?) E* K7 _+ r1 K8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* F/ I" f9 ^; [/ W- Wthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# {# |, P" V. }: t( _; o5 yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally% J5 Y6 K& C8 ]! `" }* ^
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& h4 @/ t6 d! A9 W# Gzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") U" V8 }# c- H' t v7 C x: T# t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# U9 v: j0 w7 E D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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