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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ m' H6 \* J) k8 U- f
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6 L' `2 H2 O7 W 1. Bring your own house./ J9 M, C9 `$ R v/ c
5 Q9 W3 u, H, i9 a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and* H; ~5 F8 R) R( B3 s
hospital.
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$ v/ l3 E! _7 f3 u3 ]2 Z d4 m 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 G, M" W5 ~: E9 i. Y' ycapital of Canada .0 Z. N6 j. s" \3 d0 O4 ]+ k, W1 V! ]
1 I% l- t4 q- p' q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ h% b8 @9 Q, |( Z
capital of Canada .. m ]- G) J/ V$ [
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ |& b/ ~: X) [/ L" ^$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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* h8 N5 L V# d3 y3 m0 S5 q* e 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. v0 N( v T- S5 l* B# h
on a 15 year holiday ?
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' I2 c8 t# m+ Y' F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas$ Z9 f+ ]* t3 F9 J8 f
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 l. w, M0 p% T, b# N
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* K8 E& x$ t: G6 p- p0 n$ |
here sick., m J; Z; |! e3 u) S: o4 I
% C7 h2 s' e. A0 {9 I: c( g11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 V6 Z% r, |! e: l, lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.' [; ~' \! D; Y2 o% |
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/ T R3 p$ r# }9 E, _0 W THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 f' I( D1 c M* @& h- d& R
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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, e9 n) y/ f2 F3 A2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: |9 E4 [: n: D% z T9 k9 r$ n$ G
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.0 `) Z' X5 \& g
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 |! p% V0 E, J* w3 N! Down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! W' E' }6 n8 U6 C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ z( c. X, p$ g" g: z7 pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell4 V: u* U& f" z2 l/ c; z/ V+ \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." z( O, h% j- P) q0 {0 d
$ t' S; f6 w! P! y0 |. r6 R4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," D- D& J# N9 L! b
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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f" F/ L+ p' y1 B5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& R2 M6 |$ Z6 j( e9 q
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. L& u1 Q9 Q! n& m% {
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: W( a" f' o4 }0 B7 g* d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- s$ E# x4 z4 Z* B6 T. @" I% l) gmore construction starts everyday.
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! }# D) {1 w9 n4 @: T% Q0 |+ _ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! g- B0 m8 ?0 w) {# N4 jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% K, h$ |, w; H# V% E& i1 C" u2 Rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. ]6 P( t8 H. |3 E
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all P7 O" z4 s3 O1 \/ ~1 _9 i( b+ V9 ^
the same road.7 U0 V) X& w2 M9 n% O6 g; i
+ u1 r5 j6 n" n5 v) `& C- I7 A9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 K* I* G1 ~6 I/ w4 k" W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
: k: a9 P o' R0 D' i( h: X$ mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ u8 k8 x6 B/ w4 a$ ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" p. T3 T( r% k. |8 g8 x6 K" F1 N11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur8 l: i- q- E3 h4 T b
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and @0 c5 B0 s# _ {- o: F
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 O ?* j, u& d" C
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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