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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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z* b N( Y9 p% d; l& X 1. Bring your own house.
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7 _% A* m2 `& W0 ~; H& h" Z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 h% P* L7 ~8 @4 A
hospital.
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- w: `% {# d2 K4 k 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 Q( B: r' O& q! ?/ H2 J# ^* J
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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9 Y+ g) H5 e( x0 j5 P; {4 } 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! d( |7 }; s3 N' n7 a s9 \
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 g) n) {, @% N+ a& O# _+ s$8.00/hour.# S! a/ x! h4 l# I! l- o
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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" t8 z( q' W; A' n9 h 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
5 M: [+ n7 u, _8 ~ z/ M& r' Fon a 15 year holiday ?2 h# Z& P) l- G' [ Q# {0 M: f8 F
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas& r1 n2 Z0 F2 v; S$ T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage). _7 _8 Z% \, y6 a# X, @( A
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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; e [& N5 R D9 ]+ @: i11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 D3 Y, D# d% ?& ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :& o( J' W' ?) E
' P4 n6 B2 p! G' ?1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".0 f7 g( a3 ?8 [7 I; J- U9 X* W c
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 d- p# l+ ]7 l% m: Q/ m1 c4 n$ gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. ~9 C5 p- s+ n' Q3 F
K* E4 I2 d. o, E E3 X3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 E& \( d9 k: y7 S; Q
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) K3 |' T5 d: n; bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# ]! p5 M5 ?+ [3 S# d3 Mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell5 n1 o& _/ y& J) C# x3 ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" f. C- U t5 J; xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 J. l. T% \" }( d. o
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( ?: Z& X( G. Dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 U X) s! N c, iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( P& A: L' x) g# l( Y! D( Xmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ y" [9 H& x; y0 r% `6 \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 E2 h' c, P0 u! E) r6 Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: y. O5 j# D. A4 P
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. f2 ~3 E, _/ I8 ^0 f
the same road.* U3 Q8 S# G; |6 W5 z4 d- Z$ N
/ ~+ R! S7 Q( q- {9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 N0 y {3 z6 {9 Y) q0 |% }' x
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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. i4 P+ @3 Y! D* f3 i4 r/ U+ Y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ E2 o9 ^8 m: C0 O% ^
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 \% w$ R! }9 }0 w
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. Y6 k/ @, t2 z, ~$ A) X% q
5 l9 O: n$ _4 p0 @11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ {+ f3 G5 B' {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ d) n6 H) a4 [blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 w) H$ C. |4 ^& s# tvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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