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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' T5 e; u- n' v% ?0 S- l
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, k* B* ]- m& \2 F9 ~7 E, f 1. Bring your own house.
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6 |8 p7 L, F1 z; y$ U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ N9 R1 S4 G; x( d" o" {
hospital.: C' r5 v$ f+ K6 L/ S
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) s! z, }# @8 R5 j) O$ g
capital of Canada ., r4 I/ f" o& {3 e7 H2 J! t. @
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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" T; l" ]' }5 W( O  K! _! I; ~1 { 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 V* s% ^' S  L1 ^capital of Canada .+ B6 ^/ X) }+ u/ _

, K) I  g+ i" _6 [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 C7 c+ o. a/ L8 L* ?. [2 g; W$8.00/hour.$ U7 O& o+ ]4 H6 \2 x$ o6 `# F( d

& B  l# {- A0 O. i8 b 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% g1 d/ [6 [0 F/ O: X& w
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
' r' c9 f8 V- \2 Y* y, \! m: Won a 15 year holiday ?( K& m3 ?. K& ^/ n

; l' @' r" B* a* s, S. [* F3 } 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
  o$ L1 c/ L7 l* t$ \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# I) A0 D# A9 X/ P" z1 t' M( X

* u: i5 R1 t  ^8 [10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 v. l; f3 P8 ohere sick.. b. G$ H- a1 s+ }
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" x& Z( ?/ u7 }" B% ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ m/ {' t  y" h+ L8 ]1 f  A) N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; b# Y+ u8 a' b2 d& a
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* i8 r$ P1 {( L3 p' m. K/ T$ _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
, x- u) }1 K5 Uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., F, s4 L+ p7 E, l
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 m) D5 j* t# y7 I6 J) @
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# F/ s% a& F; U  F& ]+ d9 U
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* E9 l6 }7 s7 Z/ T& J" k$ A0 _go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# X1 w% p/ Q8 ?- hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' I# r2 T; d! D0 p. i$ K: i  i' \cussed out, and possibly shot.
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/ E4 i& L" f7 ~8 H5 q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 E& h! z, C$ R, Y
can get you shot.) R& u1 }" f) Y) r
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: H/ Z6 z# P; C! B: _8 ?3 X
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next" x  V9 z6 _# o# p0 P. y* m$ I
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 a; }, ^, Y* V$ y% I* Q8 f* Emore construction starts everyday.! u' N% }. s3 P1 B
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 N0 L, t# E/ \- u/ p0 ]/ d9 m6 c+ fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 o5 o3 f& i( R* X+ Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ }( o" Z) I9 L2 _

- I" s# T. E: l% b8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 p9 L3 F' z% ^5 N# z9 a6 i
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ D2 [8 P+ v1 @( Xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; M8 J) k2 _: {  u
activated."& g+ R1 N5 c* g: {/ c% x

; T9 f$ i! p. u9 x$ a8 e6 N  a' w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- X; F& b, }& s# c
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 }- E0 Z. e+ M( \# e: O: Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( V* ^, P/ l- k0 j/ h/ A; Rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% X) B7 |, G7 L8 p+ b6 tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
8 r) b( C* }4 ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

) n2 Z! x' r' K4 s有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 {# M9 X: ]# m( W  i' v$ [满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 R3 g, T# u' I/ ]2 e8 K0 X
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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* b3 v3 Z! S7 e' t4 q6 u# P  k$ x此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
0 v; c9 E$ Q8 e6 n8 {朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。. }1 n  c3 k1 g
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' _" X5 I0 @3 z9 W2 L
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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5 O# k' Y( g& @. Q8 S% k8 T: Q. o 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?( Z& [' D) n% q+ E) g( N% S
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 , R+ z1 ~) r. _) @  l
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% C# A$ u" T- b# R满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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" v" ?2 W$ }8 A5 \1 A; k你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。  |6 X- j8 ^( d; c8 H/ d

, H, F9 S" Y8 G5 A; F1 R$ E* [7 N再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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