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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' y$ h. X( h0 }0 |0 q  e- q
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! Z& g% q: C, P0 K$ w; \ 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
! ~5 }( x7 r5 ?* Thospital.: H  I5 g% S: D

6 E/ ?: p; H, m1 k6 l; g0 i 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! w: l/ j; @4 N- m1 zcapital of Canada .
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' }& z/ l3 j) _. ^3 h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., t7 b7 k& R+ d

8 A* o! G& w$ l 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: c1 f& q$ C. ~capital of Canada .- J* \3 h- F  [2 K& j

1 }/ M9 |* H9 t7 C9 I. E% ^) r+ D 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ p* |! W  |( I3 Y, j+ C) C
$8.00/hour.
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: S& K: M) ~$ g! ]- v' h 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# W1 e% M, Z9 R

; p9 f  ]/ {# p9 @( Q' C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) x2 e" g( n/ B  Ron a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 O% m- }- x& n3 c+ U0 x. kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
0 T; V% ?' s2 i1 Phere sick.- U9 o+ I+ }! F% O
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 d/ |3 [' R- n) z/ e7 j$ Jyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; S; e) F; I8 }! M

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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/ t% M  s; l7 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 O( L$ @& @: ~/ O2 w4 G0 V% o
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% S- D7 {7 K7 d9 e! }3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ p  }9 _0 x. n. V$ R
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" o" ~6 P9 Z9 M9 k3 S9 Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ }9 Q6 L& X1 Z, y) n0 Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! a- t: u9 Y' T) x
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 e4 b' X" ?8 A# }
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 W+ I' S7 C( }% }4 Z
cussed out, and possibly shot.  q* p/ L3 _& n
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ r, t! s3 I# y5 u
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ G, R# u: q/ j' Y" u2 ?! v4 ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: i% I. L# W6 G; T) G: Y9 C/ c" yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 B; ^! {5 }( k; k  Ymore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ E, q3 M" e, @0 u
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. _7 x( W5 T* R
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 a2 k8 w! k1 K0 o4 T
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' a; N: a: C* {8 W! Sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
# p7 L" W! o$ \( Y* F1 k- mactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
  g8 [% H0 N$ E& i! o' q3 t* `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 c+ r" w$ k, E; Z! J2 Saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ e- _, t0 c8 _$ d: J

. e/ m2 ?8 [( P/ S11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 F' R% }7 L! b5 X: Glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and  P/ |4 b, B. y, W- L3 D
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. _& l; v* C+ F- \/ a2 c" X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% b' V* g& {3 t5 o; `1 Q6 m满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。, j, M( q7 X' D- A1 F: A
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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. a& O6 @$ ]% \此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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8 J, Q' B. _& j- y; k+ z[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 1 _( x0 r# \- A& a- ^# M6 O
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* x& m5 X, i0 C- Z# V9 x满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
1 X  n3 l; |* a ...
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' P: P1 u! ^( T 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 9 s- j( K" v9 o' d3 |' y

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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( j6 g: _3 W0 ?这么刺痛你了吗?9 T' Z( f& {) Z4 Y4 u
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 / [; ~9 l& s" E# E& X& f5 i. I
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ y1 J4 n" g- ]5 p0 y满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。# w- y- ~* x6 n; t0 D$ L+ F
...

! d" U9 |- J! Y; V" n0 R( O6 a你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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( v0 [4 h4 `5 Q- f* G4 U$ H再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.2 l( D: t+ A+ k. w
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大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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