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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 h' s1 ]) i: t' I7 Z* S0 @+ F
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& f) r0 N' N [ D 1. Bring your own house.
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1 ]& c( ~5 }" r. v! i! {9 l7 ` 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 f+ ~) W- O3 O& z+ N
capital of Canada .( L4 z& Y5 R# b' S* J+ H) V
+ v7 t5 a4 O% r& X; N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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_( M o7 n$ \+ f4 m! F m- E 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 N, V h0 _! tcapital of Canada .0 K* v, Q- s6 F" Y ]
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. t( h4 a5 z$ i" n$ P$8.00/hour.5 q: V+ p' y; Y8 N( @% P% V! e: Q# g
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ s) l4 A/ C- |, P
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
5 I& {7 S. D8 E$ `3 J# [, q$ N+ r3 Zon a 15 year holiday ?$ e- o1 ?0 T8 b& Q
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 a+ P1 U+ U7 l% X3 Gprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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8 i/ I# p+ Y: B* V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; r2 m3 Z* X' V. u7 e" k- H+ Q7 P
here sick.; Z- p6 A1 L' v0 }
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 @7 [$ I+ Q( }7 J! `! {years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 M- q0 p7 W8 L# l
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0 y& g, Q! }7 c- r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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) d z& g! O$ r+ V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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- R4 z$ X$ h( B( k* ^2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 o$ A4 r7 X. m6 r; a) x$ Z- @
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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* Z- y. L+ K1 J3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; ]7 F. _0 C# U( e5 A7 \+ Rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! T- ?9 [: G: C% b- n/ C: W1 s
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ \7 L& P- M4 ^
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, N# Q0 U$ ?# _7 O6 Y8 _6 tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& G. }# Y, y" a* C/ U
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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+ D& T ^* k+ u" S( t2 y3 P5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 w0 e( T) x9 l& r- N- ~
can get you shot.9 @3 a9 h/ s \4 [3 |
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ T" t3 T5 [' P$ z' ?3 _8 k C
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: b) d2 T0 L& c3 N
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ z7 U% B9 t, R4 y: zmore construction starts everyday.) d' t3 Q1 A/ ^9 y9 j
2 A; q* Y5 r; y& K# ^5 v 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,( k) B# j/ a7 T9 L" S I/ H
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% F4 f2 k, e O/ e& x4 L% N1 n
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.! Q5 ~8 W! V" \8 d
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 U/ o( ]% H+ {; d1 T9 K' I
the same road.3 }1 B/ v) P8 q5 y; R$ x/ u5 |
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) z: c8 g! G9 X, l! Z" {" V& x1 s6 cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
8 ]" P7 ?* ]% {! E+ cactivated."
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3 V5 e* ?+ M6 K4 p( u% M10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* o. l) t" J q: s! f# x
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 \1 d: B. X# S6 e
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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) t' Y8 z0 D- N( I+ H11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur8 J6 U* O0 |+ U/ b1 _$ M. O1 d
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and `0 g2 O! y" A
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
7 V P: X" z0 h- O$ B; pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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