送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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9 H/ @. i: P$ \' p2 X3 C. Z  U 1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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( _4 J! @$ v$ X9 S' u+ |. }% ~6 E 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

3 j" }# \$ x5 d$ w; G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 P7 J( ]  s' o4 A, F- Mcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
% |/ ^# G8 `' [; H1 R1 N( ?, v: w$8.00/hour.

1 ]8 I& X: \+ @6 F0 H8 P  q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( V! t9 A* Y" k, eon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; F" O3 s0 X( k6 g" D8 e! x5 {here sick.

! P2 t* |- u4 z, D5 U11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
. |2 R; R$ n9 }* \7 ~years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ b0 T4 O8 s/ ?; n) d THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

5 O) s' Z5 W8 _4 g) X2 u" k1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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: P5 |! ?" K6 _( g! ?3 O2 |& J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% P" [6 _; g7 Q8 L+ E3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, e8 c! ~  G' y7 zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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! y4 I4 y+ X7 |& r4 b5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 W4 R1 X- K* `8 F, O# ~; a# Fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" j$ ]9 Z( Z; V$ E/ ?5 dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
& h$ W1 _$ ^& g. E. u# y4 ?9 Q# x, Z1 |deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- A5 ~# D) c2 [; u+ ithe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# [! f" N: |+ tzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ U7 e& j0 D0 P5 v, s; |accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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: c, e( Q$ v0 H) Y& I/ ^2 a7 k11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; w/ t6 `7 y* z  C8 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ V9 Z# S6 J9 h5 bblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 _" q& n3 u2 m+ p" dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

/ _8 x' Z- C% U& P8 B有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
" K$ I9 Z" o" V9 t8 E2 U0 {满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
/ r1 L" F" j8 \( p$ B# ]有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

2 ^( Q& ^$ ^" k5 T$ n5 r此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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+ g$ e( M- V1 q" W! d0 s* b9 [2 ~1 v[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
# N. j6 a9 `" s; b0 T: R朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
8 z  h: Y1 ~+ o- T$ B满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

这么刺痛你了吗？

* _7 Z# ~! B, u9 o我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) X% r1 O. G2 b1 u0 o; d2 u& r朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
7 X, g  Y( d; N+ l/ x$ {! ]" k满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

% }3 d8 o( Z' G8 V/ `, B  P) c. @8 m你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

  E7 ]$ M4 U$ ^- c3 n; O再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.