 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
' o8 t; g |( y6 z L5 M; j5 ~" c$ ?" p" |& o: H# N
' n% U# V' |9 u1 `8 d
6 C8 [9 f1 X0 H8 } 1. Bring your own house.
7 A! q$ Q. D. g. N5 i! O1 V% @* b$ r& `
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
6 u7 {# B7 l6 jhospital.8 P+ |& \5 G) A/ z" A5 x' \( A
( q# I% W' ]. b# I9 p1 m# Q! p L& p 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 i" _6 g5 U; S [) ucapital of Canada .6 H, [' e* A$ F, _) s
' g9 |0 j0 o3 A- G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 k! N4 o# k6 u& x- |5 p# \
/ U0 f& m# O8 f2 q+ _ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 z; D" R' x9 u. s. U6 f1 G( f$ P' ]$ M
capital of Canada .
Q0 q$ T: g+ G7 } ]
- y: ~7 d+ g! V$ p, w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- Z' D8 M6 N; E0 [! F
$8.00/hour.$ u/ g G8 {& {" D( e6 x; `
6 [7 I% ?" N4 r- }" W$ } 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# i$ N4 }- J7 G0 V4 e
" R5 j+ o, |1 q2 v
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ F$ v* F2 o2 L& n( c) W; zon a 15 year holiday ?
G2 _- W _: P' p3 b) W: A
7 c+ h' k- x0 K3 G9 D/ W 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' l- G9 K* v) M1 X/ ~
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
+ W& R- d* W+ E4 O7 b- x
9 |0 W% T4 {7 O( l5 i; ^) ]/ r+ j10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come, k* F0 {0 a' |) }
here sick. u8 q4 C$ C- S9 p+ q6 C) x& B
2 R8 o# Y, F2 ?; M11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, ?) a: o2 C* p2 R4 s
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 B8 i1 }0 e R4 _# {
0 y, H7 V5 W+ r' X4 \
0 ~' X% S9 l: C7 o, v
$ G$ q1 N8 g1 f( N# _* v' b; b5 e! n8 { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
+ j/ S4 m+ V+ o( M5 L1 [( l% \8 N
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- n3 Q- [" v! h9 z, @, R: u
$ b9 @! \5 _: @' B
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" Q7 y: p: H: B6 O( C6 uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ e7 K5 Z N% r7 u% Z, ]9 K
8 x, Q! q! s) J1 F% d3 H
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 t/ a! i ^+ L( `# h9 W# \
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. Y" E' p( y/ w8 ~6 |* y$ umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, F4 e9 V& Z( L9 D h
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ [0 D9 f7 }& N5 Q- l. R' ?phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
, h; g& W+ w; u* M$ i% u8 @. n' a/ Y3 Y& ]4 Z! L
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 }8 w: g% X+ r+ _- D! O
cussed out, and possibly shot.
: b( j f. Y/ k2 `: _& i5 h0 V1 d
; V; g0 g3 h, }0 o# l% `5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; p- Q, C$ k9 K; Z9 O3 W
can get you shot.
5 E6 t( g2 J0 a) s
3 s* p2 i$ s6 `3 j7 T' L6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& q: ]. n1 Z: V( X+ W- U9 q+ Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 Z/ H* U5 ?9 ~5 G
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 c) w! s$ U8 ^* n
more construction starts everyday.
" @7 Y) U2 t1 H' o+ i: ` t/ ~
+ `( I. L4 ?( ]+ I8 b 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
b* K( c+ H: P2 y! P1 i" K; ?! v! kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- N! \, A" |' D- L8 ` bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% w ?, [; a4 X9 f" f7 n9 E, [
2 J9 ], e5 v8 c/ o8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, g, r) x$ V& v4 Jthe same road.
6 u4 _$ j( ?9 f/ t s. Y
- q* y2 b: `' H) `/ s+ y! d0 u9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ a1 B2 R+ D9 b; Z1 d$ ~0 I/ rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; I7 _3 b: d6 U
activated." p2 [: Q$ g3 _9 d. r" s
e3 H/ F/ H& b' E# _8 [0 C0 n
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& j" T' D7 k0 R- g; t
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! b: G! J. P s4 V, X& _" @! caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
; q9 N& l* T& I& X, q& n9 _6 ^; c2 L# A
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: w& [$ S: \* ^: o; @, L
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 u3 J2 q! f3 R, e3 _' xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 S; E3 g ?0 h1 F M' j7 `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
$ o" u! m+ f) }/ k
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
7 Z( p6 w+ K; ~* q9 p1 _9 _! p8 ^- V
