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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA& r _; r9 N* q- s: m7 e& e5 `1 j
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) N2 z' I* E! ?) q- m( t 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ H" e; {* I* F1 o& i, Y
hospital.0 j2 S- S. V8 B7 @4 e) u- P: K
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
* [. d& t8 E2 j* w4 bcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: a4 U: u) R. P/ t1 Q( V
capital of Canada .
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% B2 w1 J2 z' U0 e 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! S3 ^# S6 z$ G+ T3 B, }* P$8.00/hour.( e l$ W0 q) c$ `1 d/ `% g; G G
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.7 T z) A& k: x0 W
. T# K! d8 ~1 B, ]4 d( b) K 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 X/ ^9 a4 [$ w: F4 E- [* ?on a 15 year holiday ?( h6 o& E; ^/ [( f/ K; d5 G4 _
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 s. C8 w1 Q: T4 \* X$ A
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% y% Z2 c: X: L" x3 Z+ G
. R5 E% G# W9 O2 y: P$ A. K10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
) ?" p5 o7 Z- \2 b0 ^here sick.9 J4 A0 E( Y. s1 }
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- y- G, a. d7 |& w7 ]7 v3 q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 m2 [: ~5 l* |$ F& t) D4 _; L
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! ?, o$ n7 x4 c1 Y, E8 e, l& y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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! M5 U& P+ `8 v/ }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: i% E) o* M/ z% T% c
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ F5 {5 C# k/ ~* H* k9 v0 \
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
\5 y! E4 z' a1 D \1 X" ]& i: C3 {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ b X* K @9 M* h& E: J
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell8 n! |) G" v2 P" _. a6 [0 s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 J( S7 c, y. j F o" p! i1 W- A
, ~( P$ i' C+ v @8 A7 L9 X" k4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( |7 x M# U; ^! J" k! ]& u' h) ncussed out, and possibly shot.
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. ?5 u% Z2 [' H; S5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 E$ z% ~5 x4 h6 u- I1 B! o
can get you shot.
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$ X6 d) |1 u, e6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( N- {$ x8 ^3 ?" c7 s& ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. y/ K; P6 j* x n! e( [
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" ^4 V, \: u0 l9 Z& M; ^; umore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
+ x/ ?1 g/ e/ G1 f2 Rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! S/ _' y6 E2 C/ u2 N0 M
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) l! }0 e: _( A. I, a) f, _ l
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ \- {; ~7 k3 A/ k3 ythe same road.
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( j# v% b" W2 G7 z6 r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 h% r: o/ {7 B" e
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* U8 n( N2 W1 G
activated."
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3 l3 {* ]. [2 m2 s+ s! S10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
: u% F% Y; ]) Pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 ?; b' ^) L2 ~% ~3 c8 _
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 M' N' Z6 h* M, j6 I
. e. K7 N$ X% H, K- g11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. L% u9 ?' }9 g6 b
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; Y( [& K3 w. I, J8 Cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 A7 L6 S( b+ n- ~virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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