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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 A3 P% Y2 S7 W( ]5 {
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1. Bring your own house./ w5 z# ~9 L3 W% W: M' j- y
* t' S; O; {0 Z: ]% n3 ~: S 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 p% e, \# T4 J# bhospital.
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- b6 z3 J) p/ D) Z# h 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder7 W& Y* u' A2 T
capital of Canada .0 X9 ]$ x+ ~6 j6 a' u% O
4 }: r( x' N' M; m9 b 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 e+ |6 @7 [0 b4 S- Q3 P$ b% X
$8.00/hour.6 |* ?1 T0 X3 s1 q; N
0 G5 \; z/ [, P5 J m7 [ z7 [+ F& R 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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/ H( q: [( j u1 z+ u. P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* b+ I# M% Q0 S Won a 15 year holiday ?
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* O- r F( b( G$ O4 i5 I 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas O, d% T; O3 Y# {
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# a* \- W8 H, `( e
0 [$ U1 ^& }% [1 j' q4 R10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come. i" s: }, H }
here sick., C! j/ x' `' Y1 W4 {3 n
9 \% {/ N. e' I* c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) x2 n$ |7 b3 P% n/ wyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 W% s: F: I3 Y7 R
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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1 z$ d( `) f- l* h$ p2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 O8 e6 s% Z8 a$ c! y
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( o: g* h* N0 u0 ^0 d$ Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 h& \# ~6 i& Z) k7 N% x3 C5 Hmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 L. K2 x4 c/ h% Dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# c4 ^+ r4 k/ a ?* f- F
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. @( p0 q& S9 D
/ v% ^4 p! k' A; W o" @: M4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 X( B$ b: [% ~6 _# P
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 {- }* z6 a ?4 W
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% ]4 B( [8 d) N- e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! w' w/ H% h) `! _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# h9 g8 j4 [: q! cmore construction starts everyday.( I& Q8 U9 m! E$ |2 ?
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ v: p" [2 ?+ N% X+ [5 y2 F; w$ @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ e+ j4 O# C' c! P( C9 {. R
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 b$ e" H; N8 h, m7 d" h, |6 j
4 G+ v" l) y4 S& L3 m8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 W, o8 _5 b3 {6 q3 nthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. }) n- a# T0 \: K1 }! V# o3 j
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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! i- p- J1 q X0 }9 j: d2 ?* E# v10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km x' n% N. Q/ }9 A/ y, V1 A
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" c9 l3 v7 e* C! C0 O: p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ L- X" Q1 h- Y/ h; P
0 G( c, P% X! @7 `+ n11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- {% N9 j9 V% Y, R6 n& Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
Q& e4 w) F0 j+ J! wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 P. T2 ?( r( l! I/ x& b8 Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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