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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house." g& a9 M+ s4 L1 O. k5 K
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 N0 x4 d8 T# R7 J
capital of Canada .. `3 |- w7 l8 m! G$ p8 o( f
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* [# ~* B: o) ^; q+ h* ?6 T# R
! Y* h( G O- @8 A 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& h1 B3 D) R, v, _9 L6 `
capital of Canada .1 k2 E: J5 h9 k
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
* R$ R7 X0 ~3 g, N: _1 T( c$8.00/hour.; ]8 J V+ N* P- X) N. {) s" o
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ {7 j! N- F) X& m
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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& y3 V q) k9 U7 o( i- U- S 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 _2 b# S; A9 c0 s
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 S& T7 y' I0 j
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) b6 U5 }* Q `% g6 S8 S
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour& R" x/ [! m) s9 R7 L$ B/ E
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its d* x/ i+ ?' @
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest0 T2 h0 ]1 V3 `. l' W& p* _6 r- [& \
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ M4 a9 l0 K5 |3 \3 Y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, ]0 j1 | _& W2 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) k8 R& N0 b9 D% s! _6 Y6 f
4 ?0 j0 S( K9 c2 H* i# Y- j4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( \) C! b! l7 m- S6 m: K+ t
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 `: T) h; D) @. R
can get you shot. c- i+ ]! U- q0 `' f4 o% n Y1 e. u6 @
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ P/ \+ \6 Q P: o1 k% Bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next8 M1 F, o: B9 ~+ p0 o% V" A
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 K- m7 R8 F1 Z0 W* J$ m5 ?
more construction starts everyday.
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3 I5 R( o: a0 H# A6 v 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# \' `, [4 g. x% z7 ~
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
x1 t9 ~6 i. nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 F& h4 z& k, t9 n' V+ G
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km# r+ O, f# [8 e/ D, H
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 F o4 [% K# f
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; U/ r& y' Z# c& I/ Q
) ~8 P7 ?; K! q9 m) @! i9 C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 Y' a; m9 @& _8 V: c+ T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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