送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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  r7 A8 k& |3 t* B' } 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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. R! x* ~$ @$ {! h. a# I! Z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" S# ]# O+ ~. w3 [! ]: @capital of Canada .
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2 N0 `( ]& O1 A" d1 I9 R& K' q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; m& A- z0 [8 \3 ?capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

4 z. z* B. [4 e4 a- T 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 S0 R5 L& \) r0 @4 ]( C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& ^0 q8 z. V( i- h: don a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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8 ^: l( S+ d% b& o: k8 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

4 l1 h4 ?2 V& e/ s: F* e; x2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" r3 _' x4 B. G+ E- @$ V5 Z% ^' Lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) }% E: n) R, o. x5 i; Hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ Z1 y2 l  k6 F- }8 L# }muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! _. z$ _+ _; F: d) U) ?1 fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 P. o; `8 o& O2 z. I" g8 U1 Tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

, C3 x+ T  t& q3 w4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
  e# ^4 l) L3 ~4 s& [! M2 R# P- p3 \cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
% q9 a% e. J  r3 O5 Gcan get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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( T8 |8 Z# A  O" R7 ^8 ^  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 K3 [/ L2 W1 Q$ C3 ^6 Jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

* E; w/ `! ~! o5 ?$ U6 R10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 L$ l+ ^) ]% Yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, Y, `6 \  P' j/ a" x/ |lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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4 L7 A$ @, ]0 t  x' x4 Q0 q+ g: |/ G: v[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
; ~5 i5 _! \' I/ p+ n9 Q朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
  E% s* j" X6 G: x7 G2 F5 b满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
! b$ [1 K8 e+ C$ Q3 c朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
7 q# b$ D5 p. g" L: ]2 A满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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/ _/ S  @) G4 R. O你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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5 U, W4 R/ q% ]/ |+ _2 }再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.