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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 ?4 `5 K$ X) D 1. Bring your own house.# J" J5 V+ D; B4 i
# O& m# s1 w1 H8 r; _. I 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, S7 p) p0 y' R7 P" zhospital.. v1 a2 Y. H3 _8 b5 U" B
9 m3 }4 R1 q8 F' D 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 `; f% f8 g/ T1 T# fcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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" S: p0 w6 P4 ^: C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 }* K3 U i, A: ~! Wcapital of Canada ./ d. Z- s1 v* L, K: b
$ L6 |7 B9 a4 l8 b 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! | w* @) m7 e9 i$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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7 v' M+ [1 _6 I: Z8 _2 a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& P* e* k/ N. C) Q& z3 n
on a 15 year holiday ?% ~ ~: ^" }. H9 b! {0 t
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas k: q" w' y6 H
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 v1 S: ]* B- f# Q& {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ p" q& \% |- Z) o. ?& z
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! \; O1 e3 A% }% M; ]0 q7 pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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! \6 m- }) B" B& I* ^: B$ Y; A THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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: T- E/ n- r+ k0 P3 G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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5 J# I6 ?8 o. Q' I7 [9 p2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 h! V1 G) F: H4 _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." O' p, s5 I1 ^# X8 z
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% i# y. W* v5 s5 c2 ^$ Zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 G! c1 x: C5 G% S
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( I0 S$ i2 |: `6 C/ {! wgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- K3 d% f7 [$ N5 N# e8 E S
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 R+ L' z: V8 _
cussed out, and possibly shot.% t3 Z% g$ p/ b9 ]1 Y
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: a7 G+ Q, ]& T+ y a, z9 Acan get you shot.& z* h# l$ e* m; R2 e3 q3 q" P
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 }, @" d$ N( \3 J0 n
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 Y9 p( c& @% o! H; e
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ a8 Q, S* T3 x1 ?0 k9 W
more construction starts everyday.
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' r6 \" `9 G" L# B" ~5 g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 @* r3 G9 t" E/ Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% T' t; q; B# t* u( o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; B O, s$ {4 q" g4 O5 z$ Y
, I _1 p: H% Y) C7 p8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 D) ?: h& H0 ^+ {* r$ vthe same road.1 v* J0 i0 r9 O) T
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 {- ?1 X" ]% d- Z5 j' X C
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( f- t% H+ _6 \
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ n t/ [. A% w0 Y5 U ~* \/ B8 n2 {# K
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ H# E( F$ l5 f i, a( }. elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( V5 Q: U, Q3 E) ?, V6 {& G9 I0 N* g
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) g) ^. P' W; Cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
