 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 m1 X2 W* i; I) J( y# C
, v' W3 {8 H( o
' [ }* D; W7 Q5 R. I$ {
+ `: Y! i' C+ r/ O 1. Bring your own house.+ @8 |. b) A a5 _6 ]
1 m6 i! w% k/ G7 q; ]2 z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 I# x5 R. h9 U6 Rhospital.% J O) o% _9 v7 d$ m, Y
: [% |2 |; B( o' R) y
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 l" Q5 C, s% X3 M2 z4 ]0 _9 K
capital of Canada . r- B3 P" ]) {! v/ y% z: Q
% s4 [. h9 m2 N2 |8 w# L! z2 C- J 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
- [ B0 J3 d- E/ a* C3 L2 Q8 C( A4 t) f9 @1 K( ?5 {
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; Q4 @: j& _" }! w& {
capital of Canada ." q" p; ?) s n% A4 X5 S
! E1 [$ l+ |- t) n; B 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 Z* \; w* G9 \0 m! Z
$8.00/hour.: L: S# P) G2 O7 g! M$ q/ Q! D q
: H' Q j: h' z
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
9 n' ?& H* ^5 c) g
9 q C/ k) E6 o! X/ f$ { 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 F# Z7 f3 s$ W& C: g1 s0 eon a 15 year holiday ?. S, O3 ]' K: v3 C, M8 K3 L
) t2 f, i9 f- g5 b! u/ V
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% E: b9 O( f. C$ c' m8 v. iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) R6 y P1 x& v# X4 W5 `) H. m$ d
- ^ n4 B. ~+ c1 Y4 B, {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 A1 l C* U# W, W6 `& e. w9 ~here sick.) K. m0 H5 f, z! n8 s+ l L' {
$ s/ S6 n m" H# q5 U
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 _& L) b9 r/ J( n+ I
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 S0 D1 J+ \7 Y2 L7 K# P5 L. L
0 |( J3 w7 O. `7 p( u$ l
) j1 _* _7 _2 m% E: u) c0 A, G2 [3 }1 Q! t" q" O, E
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
; d# I1 l3 U) W! n2 C( ^3 ^& R+ S. H; f6 t* w. Y; n
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
2 q( m5 k5 R- S5 @7 \9 u) E5 x
! g0 _$ D! ~! ]' o" G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour4 C# J- k. e s( m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
# ^+ s4 c% `: H
$ N# e3 U( }' P0 j" O7 U) {3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& n1 K6 [5 {8 a6 |% Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- L. A/ |6 @* y# X) J* n! \) k; V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. \- F6 l' T' }( S1 ~* H' O
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ l, |& q! F9 Y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
$ ]% d X, e) h8 e6 {9 J% z0 b
# w- h, G% W# D+ B4 [4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. [) s: d+ F2 z u/ T9 g% V. v8 Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6 d# t- `0 {0 I* t9 ?8 D* e# t5 n9 d+ T0 R" L5 n6 f: h
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ m; ]9 ]5 I: C8 E" Z! i
can get you shot.. W! f; T8 K& W) |
' O" S) t+ O( m/ y4 n+ r6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 K9 M+ Z" h) J6 A9 m7 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% Q9 L* x1 V- u$ e& ?) { C+ y/ _$ Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 m8 @6 p" p; d; H/ }more construction starts everyday., `- R8 G8 z3 g5 H" |8 ]
: `9 Y3 O. A$ P9 h. d6 r
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 d3 A0 S, G0 Y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ \) _* H+ u) ^5 q: Y6 O4 R6 Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 ^# Y4 @, @" V& [2 Z$ p5 |7 c- A; o
' e% H/ x! P2 {/ H. G% G8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 H8 }3 j7 t1 [$ a" D! H7 Gthe same road.
3 u* i+ M1 C6 D+ [
3 R5 F. z) y' U5 W2 G% q. ?5 i$ |9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& f1 a7 I6 I: O% e F4 h: C9 Y$ [shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 b8 b5 n9 u. {& i# R, e
activated."
& i$ K6 W8 q& E4 M: t, c- E/ p
4 k9 u! l ]3 x6 T! W8 F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. D* S+ J3 i Y/ b& g' e" |6 szone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, E' L3 L% H$ z, Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 m9 L! [; y; A7 l- M1 n. j4 E
" }' P; e) Y, [/ c9 F6 P8 M$ d11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( ]9 S, V; P4 @$ e# B% g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 _- H! X- B9 i! i' nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 V, C+ a2 }% h9 A- ~. lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
