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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.; U3 U. `+ T' p
0 ^' X) j: q6 O* ?0 S 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 f9 G( G- l- N J, z5 k) d( s
hospital.& ]* ^' X4 s0 t' j; T, Z1 y6 O
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; _2 t. ~6 n4 S9 o1 ucapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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3 C9 d3 p6 k6 P: Z( l 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" [( G: s" h) P4 ^8 i; |capital of Canada ./ I& V8 B; ^: M% u7 e: ?
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ w& I% f0 [! O1 V; v" A" d1 N5 n
$8.00/hour.8 p! v, d3 m+ ?' C
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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# i# p+ `5 @4 K( F R) {2 \. Z 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; [4 ^2 z8 j# K \) Tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ f. |! e N/ C' {& [, j
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 `! e ^$ `: Y& G" N/ v: ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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( S' _$ b/ p( d3 ^ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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0 W p' _. p% Q7 Z. D" L. R2 d2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 V+ T! t9 i" y/ g+ \
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its; B9 i1 ]: p# \% y1 v
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 V% E3 g" A) Q8 C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- }- u" v2 [! G- ^3 b' q: l7 I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* g/ \& R9 o( h3 ?) [0 {6 Z5 q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( _, r i7 W& }$ e" Z% F4 }" q
' {& y: m. c; `4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 S" @( \5 G* {
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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4 Y% ` {2 k# j; |8 e( B5 ]5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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5 @# f9 @! ]( ~$ K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ u% i- |) Q. [2 N
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! i1 @# [, ~1 Q# j; Oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: X8 a5 B7 f, Z# l+ E, b. D
more construction starts everyday.
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0 j2 }. n, G: y5 t" N% K 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 p* j2 ^ {, f3 H6 r+ @+ ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 T6 Y$ C5 E" M% C) D3 bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 R2 o8 l- E) O3 \
# b; L" G7 a/ j% M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
3 B1 B) K2 j% Xthe same road.
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1 D' ~" ?/ N* |6 }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. `4 b5 N; k2 V6 P9 K1 ], S3 L9 _
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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$ @4 s u, v' ?+ Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 ^3 g: A7 s6 Z, S3 s; @6 Q" E
% e. z- G! ^% r9 H9 l3 |11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 I! t+ `9 j6 m: v! N! D* `" E
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
F, R* ?, }; n$ O5 a, W8 d& Hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' B/ F9 t3 ]+ \( L6 n- V
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
