送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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  E5 }9 Y( y7 V$ f 1. Bring your own house.
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  D. M: Q8 I3 ]  ~ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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& ?, N% a$ z9 u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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1 Z+ @" L4 m: L8 `6 ` 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

2 O# @% p$ M3 O  p0 n 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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9 b6 g& \% R4 ~; t; |( ]& R+ Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

9 z; T4 i7 |" ]9 W7 s# z: A7 ` 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

# E0 k( W" B5 L 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& B) a  W% L  B, eon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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7 r5 }1 R# D# o! e$ H  ^10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.



THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

# U" \/ Q# C+ C9 Q3 d0 D/ K0 }1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 A: d1 K' V' w2 O4 f/ sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

' T# o1 V$ k2 _3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: c" Z/ h  I+ {2 kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 j; d2 L' S7 y( T* P; nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, I6 o4 M, g$ G4 m# {$ `! h( ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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# L& M6 b1 ]4 a. ^7 [5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' J: x0 |0 H/ y( |. B4 Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 C" X. Y7 x, h6 [: T' U' D# umore construction starts everyday.

- J& T7 C2 f+ f6 @4 L  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; Q) L, W  s7 D/ Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 f7 T4 F1 @8 a' Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

- M  E2 G" F7 t1 w3 C8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' \6 G  a# b! A8 U! R7 kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
* Z6 M) V' _7 T' uactivated."

: v7 M5 Z+ J" T- g  q! T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 X8 J, ?# j! \/ m& _% B: I- Daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 ]1 ^/ H; F& P1 A  K6 s7 g2 glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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* [- b& X% S: [[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
/ Y7 _: q+ _4 D& o( M朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？
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4 R6 C1 L0 C! C2 H4 O" |( D我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" Y/ @0 c5 h" d/ T/ M' P3 r; h朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.