送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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' l3 B4 l& H) L' x# O( W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ {( K1 x1 Y" [" s  C4 ?$8.00/hour.

) V% m$ a) M- | 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

, k% D6 d! t" I2 s! d" U  u 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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. s- H' o' b# W. N: Q- a4 l4 j10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- ^* Y; j" E# dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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' h' k5 _1 z3 R& x3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 w0 T* ]5 u. A( L/ f4 U! M# {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; s) V; e3 X& d4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 l2 f; O+ u1 J7 s$ {7 W0 scussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 Z+ R$ m1 Z. ~/ ]5 fcan get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

1 S& x$ t- J! j  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 o2 o. U- L8 m  xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 S$ x8 J. N5 v9 _. ^2 Pthe same road.
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' v) A3 ^' ~6 k" _9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 l; d  h, s' B! u, {4 j- z. g7 Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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2 m, D/ t, B6 B5 T2 j10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" g" L- Z& T) [, x( V7 z% ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( x6 Q8 H! T- S! y% L: ^) a2 ]accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

( i% W8 b2 M; S9 l11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) O* P1 Y# C; R' Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 C1 H# x8 p* O: D" pblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

" b  d0 ~& y& W有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 {7 \8 H) d. }) Y5 p- K满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
, p$ \9 P8 u+ G7 w( ^2 X有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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% _3 {, p7 l! P+ N/ {此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
, ]" @* w* W+ \% g0 E8 R* h% B朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
: ~8 Y' k. D' J) W/ e7 s满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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" H% x4 r  b2 h+ l; B 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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& ~  |# T3 _  }$ e# G( ~) H. R2 w这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
5 G  u1 B1 f& o+ J! M0 |朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% P9 s% ?  W3 t! s满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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+ M8 L+ X- v( j1 R你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

; ^$ e. N$ F( A9 V+ P再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.