 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
4 `. {0 ?( ]0 n1 R! E2 Z* q+ J( g% m, n l1 W$ V7 S7 f: D
2 Q V4 X: _8 s+ s9 k- ^9 U
9 t. Y; H" ^2 Q- _4 D P6 w 1. Bring your own house.5 E0 c# i" S4 H9 O! \3 ~. w
" o4 e( m) e8 \- }8 j" h
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( ~" H$ R) n1 q3 h: g0 J! r+ o
hospital.9 Z( }# A0 |) t; R
2 M0 a Z, O, v. q# [+ a# ^* V* }6 s. K 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 Y( y6 X, e8 _) q. P# q* T& Qcapital of Canada .
# b' \1 w2 g0 ?/ }
3 ]# ^3 Z, l, @1 ?/ k 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
* ^5 O$ N9 t% m1 K6 ^, L5 p
; |$ e. f8 ?, E4 n 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
+ h L# Q- q0 r/ ]capital of Canada .7 }" S8 U# F0 k" m3 S
6 b3 N$ A& D: s9 q+ Z r 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- M6 b& v5 [) ~. P5 Z0 s
$8.00/hour.
. d+ a M& I2 z/ i: t$ U/ d7 y' o9 U5 |0 c' Z2 R4 r9 Y' D" A
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
2 l" `' g, H! u% J0 C* A
2 D. ?; ^* O& O& |4 @ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 K5 r! P! n6 q* U" g% j9 z! \! fon a 15 year holiday ?
) o& B. V. ]& i9 n* }
: D! |" a- F, n, P( C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 ~4 f: c1 o9 u( D$ oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
, n. J1 o9 }- q9 {" N( l$ a% {
4 o- _4 L! u9 l( W+ h, e10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ `3 F u" g, ]9 ^! w7 ^$ _) O* g
here sick.
, K" w( w) A* Q' _6 W+ c7 m( M, B) U
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, J1 s) i- n* {; A: Iyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ K& @5 @6 B7 ~3 R& _7 M
' ? k8 O R) w1 p5 g0 ~$ s F: f7 V$ G- n
6 G" A/ _' f f8 W% G
) d: I4 P/ X) E, B2 \ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" A: }, k4 U9 e" W
) b, O5 b# M$ | [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".' M# z/ h* e+ Y! q
( L& ~ N; s% D$ j, n& s, G, `( p) t
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( A% s) K. g% G! n0 {. n+ w
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.7 D' S- P3 x i" m8 H
, g# r/ M" \+ S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 A* C0 R. Q' y3 ^. J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 z" c1 R6 | H- f. b" Z0 T3 r5 `muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 n2 ^+ K3 b( I0 a
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ u" B4 A2 l. p% Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
* T3 Y- h2 R2 B% C) o( v: T/ Z
: }# L% [5 T1 |$ k4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 a: e) k$ Q3 q4 r ucussed out, and possibly shot.
6 j6 P7 C# q3 `: h8 @1 d+ a! s" x3 P3 n; Q9 Z& ~
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% O1 l- ^3 a8 ]% i
can get you shot.
. p0 X) o- `; a: f8 i% K& T
. o' e& O9 m0 D- S& R1 `5 Q2 c$ u& W6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 C; B, A h- m& O3 L4 H e- z7 tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% {$ e8 H( k( v9 U3 u! e! Z* \day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. U! [, Y1 @8 Y1 U5 Wmore construction starts everyday.5 G* Y3 g* `- y; ?
5 ^% t( O, _+ j/ P' ] R( M4 R
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 j- W) G! H- D5 N& Q' Fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* Z y+ k5 G( B3 n2 u
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." i, F: D- |3 q, N/ E- N/ s- Y+ D
: O. _* N- c, R! s8 D
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ O# E$ e- D4 O6 ]the same road.6 i. J# _# |2 H
' x& o9 k. s, [. {2 l6 g( i
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the j5 E( ~- k$ ~5 I+ ^) U$ c5 s
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' f2 q2 r/ f4 t8 U
activated."5 Y- W s7 p& H! c
: d e3 I" D( E$ S3 g10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% L1 ?$ S h) a) H# z, M bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ N2 \4 I# q5 j1 z K/ i* W1 _+ k8 \0 |
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) D3 X2 X' ]" Z, O
6 Q; z5 m" a: R5 F% @( e8 z; ^
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 y% H s+ l0 flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! Y+ z8 F( B7 J( w! d8 R( U
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 ^9 H% N4 N" n0 zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
! Z- b: t5 s4 G1 `- _, J
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
) A/ o& J# D& O2 X1 M7 s
0 A' P, n$ s# o9 }1 U# J
