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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 \$ u  P* a( d7 h$ W7 ~" q* _
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& V- m" v) h* s 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 s! r5 q% Z3 P1 d2 {6 s, h
hospital.$ \& A( q1 q& Q8 x! }# h
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ o; n* ~+ [* N+ `! x. u

) R$ ^. q+ A! r+ l. o! N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" B( p) L8 i. F% @  Y. N9 }capital of Canada .8 t1 @3 q, r9 p+ q8 M. E

7 h( H3 X% e9 T5 a$ w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ b. [' x: @! _, [
$8.00/hour.! _; J, X7 }) i; K" c
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. Q0 o7 b" O% N8 D
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9 P9 z" Q0 ?- ^ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 v0 N4 F7 \/ N3 v
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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8 K. `4 f& k0 l( O/ z5 s/ G9 h. u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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: f5 ^8 x! c5 C7 Z11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( ?3 y4 D% ^: f9 s& b. U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; p1 ~, R* J. c3 v/ T+ y
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) ~& G& w, r: ]0 I  q7 I; m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& ^! Z$ }! T+ Q/ g, |
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% w! T; ^" C* s3 w5 G: `. j
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 f! P8 K- I# D, R. N2 Z3 c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: h: C7 j! |' m; c. l# F6 b6 Y1 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ J: ?. C# q$ ^+ X+ {4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, e/ W9 Y( j) Z9 zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( Y3 r' ]8 b8 o, l8 [
can get you shot.7 o7 [$ D2 H, h3 E6 V. u
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
3 ]4 s) R8 J+ D& M  @! A% nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 B7 m1 f8 S( P  z3 A/ j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, i/ d  ~' Y2 X8 y+ umore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* A7 u& \, y0 r/ E" d0 ]+ kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; ^: e$ m5 `" f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% K" t" A) j0 Y0 t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" H7 x: }1 D  e8 q
the same road.: A3 p, B2 ~) X4 D
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 x2 @4 O/ R. Ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( B: U; ?: t. ?0 c) G
activated."
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) V9 @2 r. g. w) S$ N! t5 F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' T! k. {6 K1 E4 Nzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 G+ I# Z3 {6 x
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. z. Q, H% g$ E' P1 C* h$ D( ^

2 B& @( O0 a6 N7 ]* T: N11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 A8 n9 ?, h9 P6 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, Y" a( [' v% C- U+ B6 S0 \5 O: d& I6 k/ {
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is* G4 Z% t- \6 O! X6 w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

: C3 B3 g2 c1 f, Z6 n5 N有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
1 l5 T" U! K* {6 _3 R2 G6 G满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。. \0 X1 p/ h% t  _' o; ^
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 9 q; I1 W' y5 G

% ^# I4 d) I0 d9 B此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 $ B9 i9 M5 t0 m, d

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/ x9 U2 u1 Y! p9 g3 L[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
* O4 X. C0 d* B1 E朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
+ e/ Y2 I9 S: z' E# K3 r: n满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 - k( G! ^* ]" |( [8 p1 f, ~5 j  ^

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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) K$ _: y7 I, U' c这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
5 D, B; q4 B" W! ~0 B9 m朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。4 c7 U# S% C; K7 N6 a) z2 H
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。6 ^7 ~  I" O3 F: j
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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