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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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+ U. T& Y+ }8 y! t: k2 z( {% K7 D 1. Bring your own house.: K, [4 t* N3 J0 [+ Y+ A
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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' ]' I3 M3 A* X. T 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder- P- u. Q, n" _7 z: D" c0 s- @ b3 B
capital of Canada .
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1 M" o; Z* h1 ~' j5 f 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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8 C8 @% `; M; K5 l 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 e+ I9 D7 O; v8 V/ T) P0 y1 hcapital of Canada . ]9 J0 ^9 p) G& e
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( I& q6 Z' W# T* G5 Z! w$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; Q7 K4 O& |, P% v$ t; P
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- L9 r! D7 [8 z: M. ~
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! | I2 B4 R! C) W2 Cprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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7 n8 z+ S9 T7 J- `% V& H- `10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 I% F5 c" x+ [) i: v& x* P1 }
here sick.. X3 c1 j* f5 }1 t: b' Z
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
. y6 u( s2 B) Syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 [7 z4 |) y. V
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- R- x0 p! c! ~' E
$ J& F9 t4 ^* [, u' j3 {; V n; A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".4 {! i5 d6 {% x. S0 \# z: Q3 q
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ ]. c8 ]* {" R0 A. r4 lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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9 H8 o' V" [- m, W4 e: G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 C# j' k6 u1 Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# V4 y: z# l1 ~- i
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ R3 O* u* M' j ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" p$ Z1 k9 A' G3 `9 Z, {# a* t( o, z2 Qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: e6 A7 ]8 C* I! w0 Q$ f" k- @
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
[- _( J# e" r6 d9 bcussed out, and possibly shot.$ c# }* v/ b5 o7 ?1 Z0 }( z( p
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that n8 {* k/ l4 E9 [
can get you shot.9 [; W# z+ `% L# {8 ]1 T
8 B. _7 b3 ?) n) h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. c7 r# H$ r9 W x0 Bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 Q6 ]- n8 p: k3 ~* Kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
' x. k$ z2 F3 j& Rmore construction starts everyday.2 u2 ?1 d/ \* ~, R; z
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% U+ e R4 [' E
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 ^% f& r( W: u! gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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4 @2 ^. V3 Y$ S/ T: a; Z% V& z- j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
/ i: h h$ _0 e9 S+ n% rthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated.", L5 j, e- _, D4 O5 b7 `
/ Z! Y. M& `! w4 r10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 q: \! \- Q" q: f# W
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ Z' n5 Z- Z7 {5 Y( T0 Paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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. h+ p7 u2 w/ ~: ~11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, Z$ E" N1 W9 M, s; |# T& F# f8 ]1 Q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and5 ^: \* I2 o8 f3 [) D" S8 y# J# b
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# G- e9 G$ e; i: Y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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