送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 ]7 o; O' f0 E: b$ d4 Z$ a 1. Bring your own house.

6 W+ Y2 A8 z9 u 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
- ~- X6 R: N3 J  G/ W7 Yhospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

! q  _2 c9 ~0 a6 l/ n 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# w7 ~# s3 I" _( ^6 y( s- l1 Ycapital of Canada .

8 Z+ f- a2 \5 c7 D- t$ P 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 U( w; Y4 L; c5 v4 U. r: kon a 15 year holiday ?
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5 _- p4 {8 u9 ]# O, @ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 T* q) h8 O/ T4 }prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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# i) H5 _, i3 L" D0 B10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- Y* C- N/ t# o4 j4 Y, m: F1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% b8 l& h* n& R( n2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 z& s; A' q7 |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ O  o9 F& ?5 a" P0 `0 I9 F2 H7 Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ w5 T- d6 M8 @0 Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% ~- d% a) h& F: p/ rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

* E! O; e9 M/ O$ Q2 D- ~5 i: J& E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

# M/ Y" a. U! o* h/ i3 J$ T1 H# @5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' H3 [" l& T1 `4 P4 Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- Q' v& D: n5 ^: N6 smore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
7 E  }; k2 s8 Y. C+ _# ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 t: x1 H. c  L5 y. _$ c( U8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

& U3 V7 F$ I+ P* ]% @7 b8 G: U9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

; m! L$ @0 R, L% r10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' n1 i8 p# M  h% yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& @/ E6 O+ O$ _; jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

; @" `  `$ U& O+ ^8 J% y5 ^; [3 j11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ L( ]' ^* r3 l9 Z/ ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
% Q% B" p4 ~0 o3 r  B有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

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* Q  @3 O# n& o0 ?; }[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
: v2 L% E3 I) v) Z2 w3 E朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 M, ]) _7 {# C8 D满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

0 F4 J) J* h. Y! w2 y8 R 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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) h9 m" l4 C: G# q2 u这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
* H7 Y( f+ y  y' i朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

- p; O5 k) }: {) O8 e# E9 t再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.