 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 j. }1 e5 W- d V* |& g
0 W( v! ?5 v% ^
, Z: S3 e; c& k+ [& s4 r* Y- P: j4 X# p8 ]8 k, L( h' ?4 Y
1. Bring your own house.6 q/ k/ B& G) ]$ b1 @; U7 P
. A0 @3 ^7 U5 s1 k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 M6 ~0 t: E) b9 [
hospital.
( o& ` P; Q D( P% b! \5 Z8 @
+ A+ B' m& P: l) L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 }9 k; d. L" B- c: X( O/ ^capital of Canada .
' q: v& R" ]( w0 [9 _
8 N X' J8 x* g$ J6 E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., J- d6 b+ @3 X; m( [( M
7 l1 e3 r- T( }: p5 D/ p
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
$ N/ Q4 F3 G# {; b' kcapital of Canada .7 @1 u& F& o& i
2 ~8 _- V2 w$ x7 I U+ B
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 e9 D, X& F. W9 j' z
$8.00/hour.
6 g& a2 u- b6 O$ }: n& T7 a$ B$ k$ z3 F$ n6 L: ]1 v- h) P5 q
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
' e% h' U# [! V, N. r, n
2 i, o( [$ w+ a6 v* O. a/ c) p 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ y+ d" s$ @9 |on a 15 year holiday ?
8 N5 s; T5 D1 w7 S+ P6 @
0 s( O6 B0 w6 M& ^2 @ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas& T( x7 V, c7 h9 W
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
* d6 z p4 g; \8 E& Z* T
; w7 j: t8 t& c7 p8 x10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 Y- r- i, c$ m8 X
here sick.
$ Q& h2 s8 z, G
0 y! \- e( ^) o, B8 k) }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, l7 C1 }. F: E2 o) E& V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; j- J8 \' t% K8 z
, `+ L) v+ Q4 D
% H- P# b& a! p& i9 J% ?5 N/ I9 ~- H1 c* h% F, N
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :* |& B# o6 E% P7 N G
* a: [! j4 J' |; n) j7 M& v
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
3 x; M7 r- R1 q. e3 g$ i e% B
- J0 y7 E. }; Y( h2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# n2 W- @. z- ]- ?is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
2 t2 |6 N: E3 @$ ~: W' N1 L% y# k" s1 d9 R9 J: P
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* I9 O' X( i6 iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% _7 O1 b5 i ?3 Q6 \
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ Q0 ~; f7 k& z$ g$ x& f% Ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* F# R# S L8 [: D) s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
& n( S6 f; B' b5 Q9 U) h% ?' Y* |; d5 _* v" F
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% C8 \. J) _+ y' I: [. y
cussed out, and possibly shot.7 |, J& J& ~+ _1 a* n
+ c) |9 ]- Y4 `2 b( }5 V
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% D0 U7 D* v3 V6 |- p
can get you shot.' [, V0 m" W' C. [+ g8 G
9 ~' B$ ?4 O; Q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 x( }. j" s' ]2 A# E! y p+ q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 {- N8 u; `1 B5 a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 t" z5 I' |; Q L8 Xmore construction starts everyday.& m3 E' ]0 g0 {. R3 w% `. W) ]4 y0 g
: E' h5 t( ], o, a4 o% b 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 z5 U# P3 N$ c+ R3 k; M
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 j. `1 ~$ B* ~0 l! i* P
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
# p1 V. r- ~2 f7 J3 o. B9 [, q
) b( G9 ?, E. l0 u/ z8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( H% Z. w/ w! `the same road.4 f1 p! A j4 Y& ?5 a' j
: p; m$ k- J% d* n+ M5 M% L
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 K; h5 ?7 x$ A7 Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
/ p+ c% `/ v! ?6 m9 ` Z3 _activated."/ }, Q' }' n3 b9 N+ E
7 ~: \0 J/ L; f% g! G3 M
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ W# `4 p" j6 w0 T: Czone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 h7 I4 X" h& m" E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 T5 b& K a$ _
* Y0 @% v1 q4 {1 r0 w
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% |1 E/ S; N8 E0 W; }( r5 W6 ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ u! _ P: j; S- Q' W) N+ V
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is: U3 j) q2 ^- k
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
8 J3 k+ ~6 a3 Y
