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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: G5 N* F8 q6 n3 [5 l2 d9 r: v
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/ z* i* d6 m( K% S8 V8 a 1. Bring your own house.; t- z' H8 r4 m+ w; D5 D
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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+ t) J& J: j: j( [' p/ _/ m& z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 v( k1 c2 u9 v9 d9 K
capital of Canada .. a# _6 B# f# A
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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. P1 T b, n. i) ^4 w. E 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 m: a2 l8 ~; e! H# ?* l( `
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ P& o+ \4 d# Q1 R2 Y8 P
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ z( e, `$ O* x1 D p' ?
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, M* n2 N& p9 J* gon a 15 year holiday ?8 n, J3 Y( v8 O: m$ ^1 ~
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& x+ x* s$ |& U' ]' `: `- E. Q( iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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: P( r# D3 @4 ]9 g9 H10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& I W8 e" x( r
here sick.' f& R1 b4 p$ T) v; O* t
! ?+ M1 J) [# R( ^11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 b6 s9 N/ O% W8 ^, Z" J6 T$ q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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4 o7 o5 I7 X- r0 |- A* Y; L# @( V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 Q' k1 f' w( \ w/ U9 v, O# ?
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 J# ^% L( D' K; y$ T+ X4 r$ Uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, [2 {1 U' K: L6 a
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 ` |, Y6 [( U1 T0 k) e6 _; a4 Qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
+ r' a) l2 ~- X' `2 \phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 e0 r& S2 ^$ ^" V. a, Z, `/ \# J
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; q5 n8 s6 j, {! N& O) Ccussed out, and possibly shot.. i- v' D( I, k9 \/ `
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ J, y L: X7 ~+ Z( }' L1 S3 R( [
can get you shot.7 G/ A3 B/ I" N: [
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 F, e4 ^- Y* f. F7 x' N
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, _1 m% d# L( q* V. w8 R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and! U, K+ w- k7 N/ g7 k
more construction starts everyday.( q: q: d( ~( z' H8 @ ^! u' f
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( g& f- F Y4 v# O( R5 ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ K9 ]8 Q5 l1 psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 y) w' e- J3 i2 v0 ?0 e0 c
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 j/ j# P5 T$ `. {9 ?
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# V a0 I% a5 V6 i. n6 ~& ]6 ~( _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 {( |6 O" j0 q' {0 Gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 I2 i9 I8 b3 @! h+ ^: e
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 _, g) I1 }& }. w/ Llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 p# R7 @- y2 d# i0 Ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& k3 p) y. e1 d3 m# Y& i
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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