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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 p1 m3 e& m2 }

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1. Bring your own house., ?$ g  r5 y# I8 [& _- ?8 d4 N
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ @0 g9 h8 h0 N$ j% K- D/ I
hospital.0 O+ n6 v# b7 K2 r6 R

/ K1 A/ E) n$ C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. g6 e* F2 f( V2 q5 P2 I1 X( I; ^! `- K* V
capital of Canada .8 w! q6 U2 S4 \1 r8 c

9 o+ [, a: ~% \0 T0 p/ Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 v, }" B7 t5 i( B! l  Q% ^5 }) h

, k4 u3 ?# [4 K5 N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 A+ F% @6 M, [4 E4 ^7 Ucapital of Canada .) w+ C1 T* E5 H. u- ]5 r! b% L& z

. [9 f0 J8 ~! O: R' `) {6 u6 S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% e+ n9 G* {6 e
$8.00/hour.6 H$ K- w3 E! @% |3 |
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 q8 [1 W6 o4 b: Y

3 G+ m. m/ |3 Q! M- E/ ]9 a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" n2 z! G! H/ L# S- M5 a; p( F& `on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) h: C) h9 K" K3 E$ zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# K& }7 q: Z5 z8 L2 v1 \3 `

3 r2 p% y; E( |1 _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( _' t. w; f% y$ O4 W1 ~9 N2 a% ?here sick.; [! L8 {; S* j% n# d* r9 {
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: A" L% d7 |" Z/ J/ V4 m  \: |years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 f4 k+ U7 }$ z4 G( ]; y% P* x

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& u! G. f" K6 J# S- Y

/ D1 s5 z* }, g8 Y6 J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 F* `' P  I( p$ c& v5 `+ d- d4 e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# W8 F& L$ n- Q+ }

" ^8 f0 O8 q. j" k3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ s/ ^/ G2 ]* k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: z; F0 n1 q& z' Gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 C, U" a+ i% k! U& \
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! i/ \( O/ u$ W7 B( y9 N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! r) I% {9 @* U7 G( X2 Y* p
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 o2 |$ j( y3 q

2 k  \  d7 A0 s+ p5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) ?) _/ k: Z  d
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. J) l- a+ \( w/ _4 p8 r7 c. k' bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ [' \& f: G* N! v! N7 Wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' n! c) T, ^. m- f; B% P
more construction starts everyday.
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0 o+ X& P5 s* d) a$ W4 I  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 K% {6 Z% R/ ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ m4 U. m+ K. n7 {( gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; `3 u9 r: x% M6 s
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" \% e- P7 }% i. c5 S: l/ t9 _( @
the same road.) h6 u9 {  k5 I! m1 P
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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, Y8 y7 ]/ q/ ?1 _9 p10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 n. s0 F  }: ?; o! }3 v
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& ]4 z4 X8 ^$ ~0 @5 S2 o. |- S  ~
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur  _$ d6 J" V  `& v& k7 I/ h
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ I  ]: b# K& Jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- C% I6 E1 x7 p  U3 Jvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) l( _: o8 j. E& i4 I满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
# L' y+ S( S3 G4 K+ l' g有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 1 l* s. i1 i/ G7 ?9 R% i

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1 [) M9 L: e1 w2 N8 b5 o& i[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 - E% V( z8 ?0 C- t! ?$ U5 ?& y
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。2 L. r& k; e; x3 K8 W( S- O
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。  w0 P: v5 _+ n* |) M& E
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 7 N# Z9 |- K0 R) c* D3 M- _

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" I2 B& j# G7 F朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
7 `. `* W) ^9 M! l满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。5 ?- }( d7 P$ q( W* v0 h
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。1 T! P3 ~2 v! H

# s& z- H. j  |0 L) b9 E  B再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks., z% V1 j3 P$ |# r
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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