 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
- @! ]7 F9 k, l# c6 v+ K
4 S$ h. C& @4 J& U$ `3 N
) N4 |2 p8 ^8 J5 j/ X8 F& K% ~- D# Q5 g( D. u0 N: l
1. Bring your own house.
; n. C& S( ~5 o4 ]: Z: [( t( u$ x7 h# e
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ K5 F" C3 `, n+ t+ i8 ` E
hospital.
* @# X' I, R! k; ?8 v' w( A6 h! B2 N, W. P$ e3 J
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder3 Y& h' W" X4 F) N
capital of Canada .
$ d, g% {% [! X) ~* ~% q+ f
% f" W2 [) l/ I E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! K1 N' k2 T) {* }7 D/ J
0 K2 `1 v- t9 ^% k- z! Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( o! o7 z# _7 w! Q( w% q' {capital of Canada .
! @+ T% ]! U+ |
4 ] D8 B3 N6 q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 i0 _4 C7 B- _8 d8 b0 A
$8.00/hour.: W6 V: |% {3 W7 J' t
* A" u7 y& y6 J! e9 ]
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
; M! T( s% E. L/ {, y" |1 b0 ]5 `6 h& x1 D
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( U$ x3 D8 S; b' y0 ?9 i" G3 G8 hon a 15 year holiday ?
" R# c0 Z d! i& e
# }) h2 g$ x( z; `4 `2 m 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! _ b8 d* }( b# g/ oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 }$ `- X. Q* O7 t9 R5 W
3 D# y$ w) |& b2 A, j+ c10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come m7 T6 Z, t& p7 B9 v& b2 B
here sick.: V: Q" F5 y' b5 Y. g% Y
1 o5 q% U) \; o+ {# x w y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 I) N ^* g; c; U! v6 lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
/ T5 B& s8 c: l8 M- `' n8 g' B" l. V/ p7 j' y% G& q+ i; i
9 l" n( N2 t6 E6 N: j C; g4 X w1 x
6 B! W! G# d8 b9 C* w THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
+ m+ `0 ]* `3 K* T
+ l; o5 c1 t/ Z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
6 b5 \" v: V$ t; I9 R: x) K3 X7 X7 b9 u1 u8 _& Z* p$ I0 Y. B. p
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* @- L4 E3 q Ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
8 L; Q. U' o7 o
8 a, R4 R$ ~% d- M5 L3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! ~. u/ z. ^" `( z8 Q2 @
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest C+ ` J& V2 ]! r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. v% U- {+ u$ A2 E$ g. ]% _
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, I5 c5 l5 A3 T8 u( N, B5 w8 [
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 J$ Y1 V# Z. A# h7 z/ O$ O
* |& W; w- J1 u3 Z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ P% l" q# \: i; _# {0 b1 b
cussed out, and possibly shot.; p: w# A, N9 g N( B) k
- @. u& h3 G; e/ u; q0 c5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 t; u+ h' b5 M
can get you shot.3 @2 ]4 @7 o4 M0 Z5 n$ Y
d9 b, o7 G, A- Q* e3 F$ H
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( f) {1 b# ~1 b) k. Fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( h! W: a' ], y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 c' L7 V5 k0 k+ K+ ymore construction starts everyday.
5 Z. \& {3 I9 g, @& ~0 ~4 L
! A/ F9 [$ Q8 x7 G( G 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' T3 A8 F2 a$ {, ?' Sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! e4 U3 ?* @0 H# P2 {5 Ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
1 o) l8 W# c1 D! k! _9 z p, T! h9 C, H5 E2 d" O5 M* \0 w
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
1 b+ W2 d c7 \ n: L" D4 Gthe same road.
2 L$ ?5 x2 P# g% @- e, K7 ^* g1 j/ t
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& ^ m7 s% Z: l* _# y6 Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' t6 V" w# ^% d: l/ B
activated."
( [% M9 D( ?2 i! ]" ^1 w3 r6 o6 Z9 u/ d j" b, \
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! [ g# k5 Q/ ~& U
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
3 o! I; z% D; r1 s% Z3 Raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
0 H7 i$ Q5 ?0 T: n1 ?5 a$ A* R T- l$ c
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& D) d: A) Y% J" g% ]( l% I0 B$ \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 v O! p. _7 {2 x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) u' S# J- y7 n8 h9 B& `/ xvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
- U& y9 W' y2 y1 u; J+ g2 M& }
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
% C3 s+ I# L- F) K w
