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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1 z) S1 ^* o6 j! i9 J6 D 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! j4 A! A* s) P" t+ ~# a8 S: a5 Jcapital of Canada .
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( a5 c( B4 I( e- V' Z+ I' R' Z+ I8 W. Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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& [+ C8 u2 Y! A$ f1 t* z R7 S) e 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* g5 a# G/ R ~& x& R2 ~5 ]
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ l/ |. o" Q0 m. m, x" c1 T
$8.00/hour.
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- w# y0 K( q0 ^) A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* E+ G" s Q& \4 @, P$ k+ F
+ {2 Y$ J9 e7 Y( O4 U! y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 N0 ]& t/ j' Z3 g7 C! Won a 15 year holiday ?
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+ l; v# W9 N9 d, ~1 ]- n, ~; [ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas4 q6 H2 N2 A% R7 j6 N/ l9 d/ \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); Q2 }7 G3 J5 r$ d) f; w
% b g7 j: Y, e3 M" Z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come. s T- R p& i4 B7 r
here sick.
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6 Q1 A# P& e }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ s# ]" F' e( A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 C( Y- ~" s0 k3 G
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# Q6 \( K" i$ b THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ [$ L5 n* k9 O% L& i
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 R- f/ i$ L& z1 C4 _$ v! a
, C* o- S8 W# n* O: f2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* [* {+ |" T7 q' S# M
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.+ b5 f2 X2 N$ `* s# a0 i
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: c5 h9 O% c: Z6 u1 `
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' f$ p4 M( W n( u! C# d n2 G+ C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 `8 i' w5 _7 r+ [" [8 i
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 g: g: e7 x% P6 f; d7 M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; Q9 V h2 T) d- |$ T
can get you shot.* c1 i% r4 o# [8 S# @9 `0 Y
% b6 t3 w( V* |6 D$ u' ~6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' E# C0 r, V! Q- K7 x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( [3 E% L0 P2 ]3 y& Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ f4 b5 f9 H' @8 s. \. Z
more construction starts everyday.6 t* j7 t6 `: O4 ?) H+ G
/ p3 _7 ~' q6 |8 g5 g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, A+ R# J% r; Z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) _/ x8 ~' y0 X8 O' tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% t" }% ?9 m6 o4 d( S
8 d0 t) d! t" n8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 S3 d z' d: r% S
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 M$ F( q6 K: `
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! Y* t( ~- B. l6 q$ T; F" h L- n1 S
activated."
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; N: c; r7 m2 L6 p10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 N) F$ J. y% i' L+ _0 K
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": y0 y/ N" c" J& n/ l
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; u$ @, ]. P7 X9 l
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ y) @' }" M* R3 {; ^4 p% tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 F3 c' m' U6 ]0 Q+ Wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
$ A7 p/ S' _, \9 xvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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