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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house., w4 \7 s4 l5 Z% W+ k: v* d
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, L" w/ O# `/ k. n; b% W* Whospital.1 `# s# l) X& g/ k
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder3 c' S, J1 J$ Z3 ]6 w# i
capital of Canada ." G. Q# V" l6 S6 B

" f' j0 z- j% Q* n0 F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! |; s1 z' a3 Q

: E4 x. N2 f4 v5 H" U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! H% \* i! Z/ M, ^6 p: o
capital of Canada .* o$ r  Y4 b* I9 R8 L# w

, Y- a+ a0 c0 Z* J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ {: u% i2 R; x: b' P8 F; N
$8.00/hour.
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- ?9 c" R* F- R9 {  F4 w+ k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% Q7 e7 ?: ?5 |0 r, g3 k
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 }5 B" X2 M3 ^  V: h1 D  T
on a 15 year holiday ?$ ^% {0 i, u/ M+ A9 N: }$ ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. \: i! g. H; \2 h! ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 z0 f0 o5 H! V: V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ J- X3 z5 i: e4 Khere sick.3 f% f; g  n0 X* G/ l. B
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 b$ X# Q: V& T3 }7 X( X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 F: a7 r( ?5 T7 f$ I

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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6 H+ |, i# c4 ~1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- u' r/ d* i, x$ b* `$ Y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! O0 S: z2 ]  o) L0 p8 His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% Q% z, O4 {) N- V

0 c' J+ x& W+ a; _, u3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& y8 U. D8 e  o5 F- Lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, M- d" F6 _$ [( C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ e: x3 b7 D- }7 jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; y, K+ i+ a) x- hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ b' l: O0 o) M) v2 n0 U

: H! X0 ^! [" Y! r1 Q4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! z0 d) G* a% ?4 a  R* |3 H9 L" hcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) J- G3 S  R2 z9 D4 E5 B* j
can get you shot.. @7 a' Z" B7 q9 P' R

7 `; D0 t" l+ \8 m6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 ^  d0 D% B$ c4 o/ _5 g& q% [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* ^# e) n+ D9 mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 d" O5 c# p& ]- G+ {more construction starts everyday.
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- C5 s* |0 d/ t4 y  {  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ W5 x9 a8 A: w: w5 [4 Ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 N0 V% B" Z- K
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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6 W) K9 s3 M# a2 ]3 l' k2 X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: U1 V& p: O- [, R8 f/ T. |& Q) U$ u
the same road.  w6 z- {, K1 c8 K% |8 l& a5 G8 s
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ l& E* }0 J9 T/ P; j6 I% o
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! U7 Y5 e" R/ \
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" s. P6 ]+ l$ a3 B, N( uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# n- Z# ?; T1 ?6 z+ Kaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# w; J. \4 y* j: d' C: Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 @2 b% L% S  y( xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. W& w# \# }5 Q5 F6 c' `) @; j+ ]virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

( Z! g' ?& s+ o有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。2 f1 @! }) H1 |2 K" `# k! Q
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
& |! X( V4 k5 @9 H  t有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 9 b# {* t+ y/ e4 D; F/ D

& U; q- I3 G% H此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 5 F" x; x8 K$ T$ x4 b
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
9 h$ b# M& y% }) K( A8 h朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。4 ~, v. q; y' h/ c5 E5 f7 p4 q4 @
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。+ E3 R/ J3 T2 j" D  V( f
...
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" _( l2 y/ s) E, S' F: M 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 + q) N) {7 u% ]4 m
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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6 f2 j9 G, ^6 {7 Q( N" b( g9 C这么刺痛你了吗?: e6 p/ Q8 c0 ?) s$ w) p5 B

# [4 k) `( N& f3 z7 I  ~我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 2 K, S0 G8 y- v* b
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* Q1 g" N. \* {2 v4 ]+ _& n+ x
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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/ P/ A- a  x, _# h你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。( Z! h- E  z7 _# w: z0 A
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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