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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 f+ r7 U2 T" Z" _/ k* X
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1. Bring your own house." U. F; K8 Z9 } h" a
, V/ s5 i. L" z5 x! q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' R ?) x6 ?" {6 r" l
hospital.* f3 G9 s( e6 w# q- N; K
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
$ A3 K- ~) z0 ]: F; W% Rcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: _2 C0 n8 D7 T& _2 a" T 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 S" d7 w: m8 {
capital of Canada .
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( h" }( K" m+ [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
% J$ T s7 T9 b9 A, a/ n0 C* q; P$8.00/hour., O5 m* x1 Q, W' P% \9 K
2 B6 N5 V3 z6 W( B' T 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, G6 Y: K' F: h4 i1 c( X, t6 ^on a 15 year holiday ?
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" }, a8 b0 K' {/ [) g* g: B 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas4 `/ u% F+ U/ X, K b( o( F
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ }3 b4 l1 h4 T q1 J% f+ }
# F) R9 `: g. |" [) @10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come x+ n( F+ y9 `$ `
here sick.
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+ N" J: h8 A2 _) b& D4 I0 d11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* h, s- P3 b4 V* ?6 w1 g# B7 b& H
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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* _9 @6 h' h& [4 X/ W2 e) r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 K& t7 \6 g) i4 T6 E L
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 Q( r7 I( `; E. ], tis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." P R) x5 ?2 c: g( X# E
@$ E# r- u9 _. v4 ^2 l, p5 |; E0 ?3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, d; N5 q4 ]6 m, nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 `: v+ R. z% qmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 E8 M1 T+ r$ P8 mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" K) j/ R5 x5 a; O& Z, wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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& Q5 [) ^0 q( n2 m4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, k' ]/ V7 X4 s* p, F& J6 qcussed out, and possibly shot.0 N' a) t) a; ~$ f6 y# ^$ N
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 X( r- @. {2 O `* h( B# fcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
F4 T' J, k8 rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, S& W2 J0 u% b4 B9 n6 n3 dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" d4 ?/ W+ J/ ?/ j
more construction starts everyday.
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1 z% h9 J0 m, d- M/ {# f0 ~ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: K: X: Q* t. H2 \; M Gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 n) R, Z; Z% b% k e) v% n
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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5 E4 F3 v6 I0 b" _) u3 E8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 S6 | \! e1 j+ K% H" Jthe same road.
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- x/ g, w ?3 d( ?) W2 G# A- A9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the [! B* V1 c' Z3 r; Q: k
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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9 ]9 x# P/ Z8 L- T5 [10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# E2 r7 Y+ L, szone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! w e. Y8 H7 \3 q- @/ ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ Z. U( D+ F5 |9 u7 U, U6 h$ Q
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# C1 b8 h% `/ A( z) N; c5 k
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ N, c$ N" W! h5 ?) ]
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; m; m0 }8 @+ P" }) K/ r" pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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