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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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; x/ S# h: g0 b' \( n 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, |* C r7 ^% ~3 mhospital.
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! [. L" H# x: K# `* } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder3 x5 ]) ~4 D, m Z% M; i& q
capital of Canada .
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4 y1 y; ?$ b! u9 k, {8 u+ n 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 ~/ o7 ?% w1 i" |- v
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. Q. _/ G0 A' Z6 `# x1 ^9 [9 }) tcapital of Canada .0 V6 H$ a$ Q: C2 ?( n, {+ z1 A
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 ]/ A2 x# i# k; n2 j
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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) j5 t3 _; U0 L' d. J8 l 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ ]" H' _- s- q. g7 s! ^ }on a 15 year holiday ?8 r4 g% k6 c3 C+ Q% L3 X
) E6 w* a$ O; M( D& Z3 m 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas4 w1 ^* f. k7 r) m1 F+ u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ ?0 v" Y" `4 L5 D) P
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come7 Q. T9 ~# H" ~- Z6 h! C2 ]
here sick.5 D7 V* q) k& R
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
& G2 @( M8 v- g: f/ ^) zyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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+ l! j9 M( ^: X: d& {3 }& \4 N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) O& W( b/ d f/ _
/ A0 s6 f s& f9 m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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I# H m0 N; V! I) N! N, c2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. A6 D) K! {8 R; K
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. h; V8 V5 I2 Z$ j Q M5 y
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 [7 l4 z9 Y1 u( }7 ~
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 \. ?4 g' Q' O" A4 Z# Fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
. F. l8 V; u+ @( S _go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! \4 n' f% [8 y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." a% x4 a9 ]3 a8 W- b% f( p% o. l* U
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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( Z/ }& T7 W2 `5 I" }. F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 z5 v& j" z7 u+ z& n5 i7 d$ }
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
3 c" A; W( F# n0 ], m( r% obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" t9 f- g% h b* d( A+ r; tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; ]% U1 _9 G( D7 J! V4 a/ Y* T7 pmore construction starts everyday.
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! @. D" |5 l E) T0 x ]' x' Z( H 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,, A2 o$ f/ A3 r5 O7 W! t# b
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," d. j& f5 k9 x9 W( C; E. U
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 B N% }: f5 W3 n8 P
7 v# I6 p, t9 g8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, G2 V9 g4 @' ]6 b5 |7 [the same road.+ T; R A8 l" F3 x9 h
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 B4 F0 c! h4 `" d1 r, e- ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' _4 f U7 h* @% X. G8 Haccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. m e8 _1 a, t: }
* D! F2 ]& \( _# J7 ^11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur @6 e" B% |) X5 C. g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& b6 k. z5 S7 |4 } e! Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 l/ c h8 K* X1 A6 F' P' r* Yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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