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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ i4 {( Q+ K- G; N( W, g# ?% A9 j
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
( d( D. d0 V+ B. y, A" j, ~9 E7 S: bhospital. [- q0 P9 Z7 Q+ s# g* m2 |; C
& d4 H3 G5 n! m$ T, x _) {# ~7 j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder S+ H; w8 q0 X. v8 \
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* _# J: ?( m. P2 q+ T
capital of Canada .9 |1 p8 m) ?6 V2 {) z _
/ L4 F" v7 X' C* d9 H( g 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 }0 d- ?" k* b
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 k& f/ Y8 Q, A& Q; b2 o: g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) W3 v; d u. x: C6 Z7 O3 y) A J
on a 15 year holiday ?
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; A( _3 J g; ?( _/ e; G 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. C2 q& K5 F! |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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- ~, ~. t; h" `0 m; N2 G- {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- x7 H; t4 Y+ o1 A+ A* R& w
here sick.- w6 Z$ v: D" J- C6 r1 C) F, o
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' {( S- x b4 T! t6 t# H" }
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# H9 \+ d, K) j9 U6 R. v+ G6 M0 @
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+ k0 Q" J" O' H2 H% w THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 T4 P" ?- o, _4 O1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". h, ~8 @% V7 ]; @
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 j0 A' y( I8 r8 l L4 H
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# ^1 y% q* g+ y: C
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# B9 {% U3 V9 Hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( L% U# g3 ]& o' m* D" T$ v
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, e5 s# N6 c9 x9 h. U
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) S( ^% s% [$ u
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 h! W4 s. K) Z/ A4 u, |
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 }4 c- R7 o6 |4 w" H" S. Q
can get you shot.% h3 @* u _3 Y$ R& R( E; R
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: U6 j. I9 X# l: p! H u t$ e! D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; Y. o( y5 `) W7 n' l- ]7 p
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 g {; H3 ^- k; T, I1 p
more construction starts everyday.) G/ e o: \# \2 X6 ?* I
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; |. T# a2 @4 [- _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, _. h% V, c, z) d+ a, m- b: F
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 F# E L' w2 x; h8 ~
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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& R. V2 y9 p6 c10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* d& r$ W S1 W& W& I' Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 D; S; L7 Z$ N+ @3 B# u( ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 h8 E" z+ x5 W
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur/ j, e' c' J4 P1 U6 Z+ b
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 p1 m4 s4 d/ R% b0 C. S: @# O
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' h2 v3 e# F8 C1 W ?9 Gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
