送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA



1. Bring your own house.

6 r8 j7 e/ x# r, Q9 { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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) G% q& V: _" l, n. P. c 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! @9 a" b0 H# [9 S$ I$8.00/hour.

" o: C9 w* |; ]: o) s 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

, F3 K) e& s) V' U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 }; z/ z; N; ~; m/ E! ^' Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

9 |: u' {2 m& o0 l9 }) h( o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
: e2 Y. q" E& h) A3 _" [here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 q6 R% ~- {0 X, H) C: ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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3 t2 Z7 _* u6 u: x! F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 {" F9 Q  h, S2 D% B  M% a+ Z. f$ mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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1 W0 U! i- O; w2 `3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 \8 n! }" E, i( e/ V! Fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: |" _. ?! a8 X+ zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ j' _: u7 Q" k) _1 R) r( Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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( U/ \1 X4 @0 r" O2 B! C5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ x' J4 e2 Z& Ucan get you shot.

- R$ M- N$ D: n& _' ]# }4 l( d0 F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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# Q1 ^8 M1 V8 H* O5 K7 l  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9 ^) k: j* N  u4 }; `' T+ x8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 d5 e2 r: R2 othe same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 y: B2 f6 W: I$ N) c* @shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
9 I' [2 r, P0 f0 \8 H: }accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 K" I9 g: g& L, S7 Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
8 F; @0 Z) v* P% }% Cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' W3 v5 d: ?! w' j) Avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

' Z. J- n1 z. p) a有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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' }1 x/ z0 S0 @6 M[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
$ j6 _2 ]; _' {+ r% H  B朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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3 w9 H( _$ x% M9 o/ @( b) B 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) n* P) s5 d! b4 B2 x, `# z2 Q2 ~& R8 f朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ _& w  f. B6 y- q; C8 r3 E9 t满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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* Y7 |( s/ B5 c5 I) Y你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.