 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
, U; A1 w. q$ `+ N
r' @7 T& @! {% Z' s
3 U4 @( o% d2 H/ `2 x& j( R, b d' o0 O# Q n
1. Bring your own house.
1 \9 A- ?: T. V; b1 u9 s2 i/ g/ D" |- @
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
3 f( ^& w) G' h1 g# }; y Lhospital.# g; q) Z% T, B9 Q
: q" L; x* f( s' l, G/ I* r6 ? 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ n' e7 q+ R4 v% ?# [# \0 [
capital of Canada .
; k; m) ~$ [4 e: T% n6 J3 e4 J4 R' Y& }7 Q% C8 x6 [7 t8 J
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 D" {2 r! }8 m& ~9 V$ P
$ J: o* K- S1 {, Q% i- A0 z
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
6 U8 J) k0 h: o& {/ ?capital of Canada .
0 M( T/ j( T) N3 ^0 G
/ N. t) f8 U7 N: S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
' ~1 d6 C/ f# x/ a: U$8.00/hour.3 _+ n5 M% l( m+ o1 K
: K( Y' P- `" J$ x
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
5 c& o2 J. M7 ]% q
- E. I5 r" K% d( b2 X) E5 s! ` 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 q4 `7 [ x$ p0 F# [
on a 15 year holiday ?& t3 i8 ^2 f0 a g0 ]
) F! @: a# o* K& ~
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 g/ ^5 \, @* Z1 f _% e( ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" M2 R! K& E. A3 i: b& t
6 L6 Y- l4 E- {! Z: r1 K! G
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
. _+ i' x5 s) zhere sick.
0 @) O1 n$ ?% q3 `1 f; p/ q
, E( W7 b( ^' k11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& ~2 H! A4 T7 Z5 X" ^* O k
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
, F7 z# ?" m6 M9 P0 u+ j6 J
$ ^2 W+ R3 s& K& ^5 Y
7 C$ W$ K5 b* p0 c- S3 c
. e" O7 {1 h( \! o( a1 { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 E: \: g6 B0 V9 ]$ T# H
& @1 r! }) [8 g3 _6 q
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
+ A" r6 O+ p) B9 z+ ~5 ?* M/ O5 l8 h, J8 y; Y1 m+ D
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: u. S' J# F6 |6 j2 Q+ }, @9 Nis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: D3 M: _0 i U6 D
3 p& |; _7 ~0 z' V: b3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 x; s9 v: V. s6 m |* ]: J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 ?" o5 B% o. |9 r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 X1 J4 L% i6 j' k* `
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 L! o% [; I% k* x k3 z, [2 H) T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
$ j4 W# {+ x+ L$ W5 T
c5 I: n( t- |+ Q4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" W! a$ B3 |8 j$ K. b2 m7 `- v$ ycussed out, and possibly shot.; @/ \# E8 w# c* ?$ v! x
7 l6 ], y; B# E& W5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 d; ]" ~! h7 ~
can get you shot.6 V" v e- w0 e i( d# @" l
+ r2 {. Q' Z# [. ]1 [: P9 I
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
r( J; k7 P! a% F% zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# c' f0 n& W: L9 z3 s! ^day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and; ]/ r8 j d( m0 n
more construction starts everyday.6 k" a7 o# x, s$ m* @# G. ^
1 ?1 W! h, n: \( [$ t9 c 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 j! d7 i# b9 z. p7 B' y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 l7 ^( z0 p4 |' @9 Q# N
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
' k1 g; B# C( ~' g2 p+ L( V+ i, S# k% w
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) R; {( w- u' y/ k( ythe same road.
! S, ~7 i g7 b
+ @, M; \9 [, G2 C9 Z. Q2 k) k' d' {9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( U! k/ }' G% T( u( ^0 F. |
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally. u1 r1 b: e! `& d
activated."6 }6 ~, B ^5 T$ D8 l" ^) T. F6 ]
8 B4 z2 M6 W/ X* ^0 E10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 v6 D4 O2 M+ F9 J/ p% d
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", p' K. r; c. U" u! ^- q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; E* j1 N& e' u* ~2 j9 Q3 D
P9 B6 o$ R7 f3 v4 D8 {, c, {9 s' z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 q& V0 |+ ^1 W1 u( g" S) m9 ^6 Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ S. [4 `1 G6 e2 c$ X
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is/ B6 R2 h) ?% h: R! K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
3 b% p* u/ q2 S( O1 o
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
