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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 k- ~- _9 \9 c- y" |7 Z$ y' t 1. Bring your own house.
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8 G, `' E9 _" r8 V, p 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 j1 Q3 t. {- j1 t
hospital.8 u2 A% e& M7 l* ~- x/ k* G
7 M* h9 O% N& p) | 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ i: \6 [: ~+ D$ vcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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! g) b) a2 g% a6 Y5 h 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 t0 t# O) X9 G6 _7 [% _
capital of Canada .
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8 a% K" h* G% K9 j& M: t 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 q& z! R7 M: _
$8.00/hour.
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8 E* [3 T1 l1 o+ ?( u$ ^ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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( _3 c( ^' ?0 u 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* @6 f% z* b# T' V9 Uon a 15 year holiday ?
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; U0 g* z1 b& Q! i2 A 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: a& e$ n1 J! u' W9 V% rprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 I0 z" `7 F; \! K8 S
2 h6 j" ?$ O9 i( Y6 ]+ P. t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: L% n& X0 w* V j. `
here sick.. y: ?6 d; m6 c# @6 ]+ U
8 M# H! B, Y: m& ?* d11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 v5 R+ E9 o6 n8 E; ?2 p
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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6 G" I% Q8 V: C8 z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ G% Q; w/ p4 M+ f
: C! e; n9 g( C$ q5 `$ v! ?2 o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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# m0 P) \. b: k8 j! V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ F/ Q% `6 ]: ]% Q) Ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! p$ i f" W, O/ R5 f
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% W3 i1 b. L* ]( Q6 }2 W
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 m R5 u- F3 j% i& g) Q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! h* j7 @, A3 U W/ U) \
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# B; ?) m6 `2 C& L0 F1 Ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 b3 h$ q8 s2 M% L4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 M2 t" e: h" ~. B- @cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that7 {3 x+ E9 g4 }% |. P' r# }0 M4 N1 v
can get you shot.& v/ J2 M" G# Q! i& l" Y& C$ Q+ O
) h; q" X! o9 z \" [; _6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour! y3 T' U/ `4 B8 J7 l% _7 ^
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next7 }' m4 P- T. k% T8 M9 P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: n4 M9 u# l0 ^5 s Smore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# E7 g W- ]3 ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- K$ Z+ k2 _* {. Z' q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ S2 c1 o; |9 g1 y3 z: g7 othe same road.
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* ]$ u2 _+ z9 } a9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 q+ y" p4 [8 j
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
: G5 b& b" F, s' E3 Z1 g Jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 Z/ Q+ V: r' X7 U; _accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# q/ i; K0 F" P* ~1 _
* I0 S- T' X# I- ]- o) _. L' T f5 G11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ e+ P$ Z, [/ u2 ]4 [# `% plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, s- I6 k2 c* S b' p% v
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 [8 d0 G6 I6 N& c+ x& W5 |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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