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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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% H6 k( [* {' d: J0 R) V; B8 V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
" M' K1 N; l9 a: M% L) a7 Fhospital.
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/ r. c8 t8 L4 ^) J* @7 c w 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% c' a- n! V; Q1 p
capital of Canada .+ k- ~- b: H: K3 Z$ g8 }% C
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) T" p1 X) w U3 \. A& |
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. S0 |" ~8 z. wcapital of Canada .! n$ [$ C" {2 b' c3 j
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
C! k% b+ m) Z3 T6 a& \$ G$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' \$ m7 ^$ Q. r M
on a 15 year holiday ?0 j0 f' |/ k$ H
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 g" V& M) O# z8 h/ r
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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, O) p1 \! g8 D; x- R1 I1 j10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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! ^: m' a+ M4 }1 h) k11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% M! x2 O* t* V! T C
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# @* i* t3 K& e" G" u
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) K" Q0 M4 |* a% p4 \9 P/ Y) G
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* \ I# |, u6 ]1 g7 I! F+ v
' v, |, B l( k R' S2 n( H3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. x8 e a. X" X Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; Z! `2 V* r4 X5 qmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ Q k; j; ~6 i7 s" ~' K
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell' Y1 o6 V, T/ M$ u
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( U- \8 h8 G5 `) Z9 t
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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4 H% d/ Q! Z$ r- `/ H8 o* {5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& ~" u4 q% F% @% {; N8 Acan get you shot.& ?# \" S# m9 M; o! H) d% |
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, b; @+ d5 ~) w, L7 }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 v: b5 j/ Q' i2 C! U
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 J: T; ~( J) d0 c- U1 `- ?more construction starts everyday.
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( V, Q' U/ u- s0 [0 q' D 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ p& Y' h( {& u @& Z9 e! e- m
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! `, U0 @+ i6 v! k
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. F( w/ s' U' ~
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, R, g% F* \: h0 B" m
the same road.
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" s& x, s: n1 e; t, G9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 w6 i; S! X0 E6 e6 Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" z3 ^7 g4 O6 g# `' m" a
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% U/ G0 O0 [5 O8 E9 O8 Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
2 y: r* \9 V: U0 Q/ S4 U) u, ~/ xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! o* h5 w' e' ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. k& v' n5 O" s0 \! V
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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