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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 C! Y3 `2 E1 K
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1. Bring your own house.: L# B0 B8 _# @
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
0 m9 E3 `. M X% E1 D% Rcapital of Canada .0 W% @* e, n8 ?6 T. h! m- P, R+ K
" V9 h% e' N7 }; a2 R: B 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ w5 S) V$ ^: }1 X6 P0 f/ ]' x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 q( O0 V% \2 _- M$ z3 d) R
capital of Canada .
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1 g- S1 Y; C$ c0 s& \" h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
* e5 H8 P0 |' [; X3 x2 w* m) b$8.00/hour.
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; {+ w' E* z8 z: ~7 A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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& e/ {5 G4 y( e& e4 D9 h3 y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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6 E$ B7 O0 X. P4 ~' _2 L 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( u* v* ]. Q* ^0 h" P/ L, }
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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& l2 Y( Z: b% W7 K2 A/ U1 z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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) g2 Z* ]/ k6 g# n, @# f11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# {2 M2 }/ S3 k) c4 tyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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( d5 r c2 G6 i/ z* O8 [& U. {) N$ t THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ E) G7 m" H2 v/ z6 X) Z# p. N
+ \) _, S6 r/ @1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 `% P2 i9 C [
7 n- a! l8 y8 y# z2 H! Q+ ]& L1 C8 A1 P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( c7 d. t6 u. M3 E% D6 ~1 S
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% u* x; E' R6 d) @( K
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its ~$ x$ ?) C' L" p" J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ ]0 U% `8 T& R6 `1 y5 jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 } D1 \* l+ C& U( Xgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell8 [3 a, K9 T5 l& X/ x( ?3 o
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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+ \- [0 I8 U. y( I0 s9 D: E5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
4 P6 L5 A2 w' G) L6 o6 w! _can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- I7 }9 \! r+ i& i' N1 b0 b; U: T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
; R7 L& G+ ^$ [4 X o6 g1 Rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ q* ]4 [1 D9 d' n2 `" ]more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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0 |( M" p" E& X" m1 c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 D( j% M+ z/ l7 L9 Q
the same road.( q# b8 [, `. y+ V. u$ M0 d
( f+ A2 z7 G4 E h9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# O$ c2 l7 `2 d! N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! I7 N7 a" @% Q) g- Y6 O
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 l4 V/ x8 k& W+ K8 R. vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." h6 j- i* w! B/ Q* f5 q
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 W' D. t/ j. n, ?7 plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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