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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 S4 H. A# u3 l 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and) C- T8 b8 X0 p0 K
hospital.; k3 s& o$ y2 I0 i
0 W+ ~1 ?; I7 Q3 U' r: F: W3 e0 X8 ] 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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, e! l N! l& v& A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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3 @2 b( V0 c7 J. x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# T$ B; L" b2 N4 J# e: @capital of Canada .) ]3 ^" S5 y0 I8 }( H. o5 x
$ i* b$ q* T8 J6 j5 c6 M 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 e6 o# ]6 J) U$8.00/hour.5 g$ c& h6 [, M/ W
0 _# W% M. _' j& O9 P! _& \ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.8 q3 @) B1 N: f' @; o6 f; x) S+ m$ Z& b
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* x- @$ z; ]% I- m' \+ M$ @! }on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 t. J2 W. K- B8 B! _: [% F- N; [prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" d7 c, j' k: v( s. e" L- T: |
1 k4 C7 Y4 T- M& m, c' T9 w3 Y7 F10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 v8 u2 s1 w" p! y
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 g( O- I6 A% e+ `/ u; `! X/ n
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :& U3 A5 \0 y) o0 F
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) G' J4 {& \. z7 k& A+ r
$ b, j! Q; H3 X* |" S: r2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 A+ e- ^6 [2 ~& n" o
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 s8 s# T/ D" ?0 F" o. }4 M
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest0 N8 Z9 ?) \; C# Y% }5 K
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# @' [2 l3 r" ^' J* S% P: `5 dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% _- \0 o) m* A0 d) @ L- p9 R
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 L. V4 P4 O; G; \
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, u/ r3 o3 X. I7 Y2 w# u& s& B' i" [% F
cussed out, and possibly shot.4 W6 q5 _! V0 _8 W0 ~
' g. ?4 g5 C W2 x" j# {- p4 o& A5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that X7 M6 s: G: ~. s- f, b) B9 D
can get you shot.
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0 q7 \% {2 b: j/ c% u/ f4 K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 U. X9 D) p* `& c2 xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# [- ^* L2 @: I$ L2 F$ kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* Z3 u4 l8 ?8 \) cmore construction starts everyday.
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$ H& Z0 c6 y0 }9 H 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! x: g# \0 I) s5 Y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: U3 z5 |- A5 L+ b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. S, u8 A* f* }) T' f' V f
: T; e8 W' d1 |9 ^8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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. f0 ]7 ^# O" ]; F+ }; A1 _& u9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 B$ r" E5 W1 V5 xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* H! q3 ?' W$ }
activated."8 W' ~) z# ?" }2 T
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( ?. d9 Z; E4 I2 _1 q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* x( y# q0 F$ H" @accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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1 g$ t ^. Y* p4 M# L! I+ r9 Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur% x' V1 {9 _% Z. E9 `9 t( ?, }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and9 W3 ]3 C! r& H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 z+ f; }3 I$ F9 o5 A8 F
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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