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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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$ r& ~8 ^: |. ]. K' z3 Y8 d9 E 1. Bring your own house.8 _5 q4 Q Q0 M `
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" }8 V) z5 w9 _9 w. M" W: i
hospital.
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- [# R& b+ l! P% y6 ~' @: p5 C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) |$ j: ?6 E ~0 n. p8 h/ D [- b# k
capital of Canada .3 x& h1 q: v; e
2 P1 Z$ W# d+ H) |: b 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." S3 s4 n# f1 g W3 j. r1 [) ^
" o) E$ F; [% t 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 f, q. W: T5 ]
capital of Canada .' c' V2 {* ]7 ~2 i1 E! z" s
. C' K3 T% X5 [8 q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is( [$ `3 d; n/ z2 m9 u( o v4 X! ^
$8.00/hour.4 D; u/ H: c" d3 V. w( s. y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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4 L6 c, Q: E' L4 Z4 N$ M 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! h+ }0 h( i3 k- w9 @- M6 zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 L" c8 W1 c; u! \/ q6 t/ b
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
0 X" O# Y K, `. q7 ~7 h6 dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 h/ z+ l) _- A7 x" [
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :. K) S; n- ?( r, ?$ E* z
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ B8 }7 } c/ F& r3 R
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 p5 _7 O# I1 F/ c0 J
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ b5 }2 v# u) K2 f
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 v+ j* G2 |- M" Z( }1 Omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 b7 G1 o0 e( y; A/ G; D* C( [6 J
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( U7 s$ `3 l# `) {$ A" }phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ o/ v' u! }# \7 G: T2 s7 Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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}$ a1 a- T. k! U; l5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that. k- I1 _/ x. V) c% [+ D
can get you shot.$ V; Z& }6 i0 I- l# w; R
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- r- Y8 L6 Y& o! O/ {0 `4 mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ }' j t' M H3 Gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; f. @& W9 J- R# V+ z& b$ w6 Vmore construction starts everyday." f+ @9 I" a. n& N: H5 a
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, I9 ~2 E- m" {' a. E
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, k/ Y5 h1 e& Q4 [6 L6 C+ t
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- A/ d8 `7 t* z; S0 h
the same road.) m. z0 ~2 X/ |0 C$ v
: _4 }( Z) F/ a6 h; s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( I% h) L9 s$ L W0 Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km Z- q/ [9 V& z$ E' \( z4 W
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 Z5 Q* f2 k& C& L0 L& Q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 Q- l. T- l" r# ^' `' ^6 W" L8 q7 X
0 m3 `" {% {& }* {' }6 O11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ M! Z, L' t/ h1 g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 i) g; \' w+ N, L& E5 kblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 |% ?) ]' C- ]% qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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