送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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+ j7 Z& }% e' ^& X9 L/ |$ m* O 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
& N* ~* d$ \3 r6 d" C5 `$ }2 L2 khospital.

9 Y- I7 P+ e, F* L7 T 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
  R# `* L: M$ `capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
7 Y% E  {! p0 u3 ~$8.00/hour.
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! ]3 }! h+ u" i- V2 e8 b3 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

5 j' z( D4 Y' }& G% K% q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 b6 R4 e) W7 H5 `3 r8 a3 ^on a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

  ]4 g8 n" c# A' g9 A. |/ c10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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/ z% d1 C' u( D. @8 K/ o, ~ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
$ V, w; ]' v- L6 Q$ yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, S" G# a3 q0 x4 omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ J8 h  s- F& ^1 N0 \$ \7 O, tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" W! w' g3 }; D7 d, Vcussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.
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& O. d8 Y. c' t+ v6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

4 B  Q3 l' q, D) s  P  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
  n" H) r* o* c) f7 edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% |/ O  E. |8 d% ~7 o: tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

# y0 S! u5 w* v$ t! V0 i4 p, m8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
  _- X& T& \( M9 t) D" i6 hactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# c7 `3 v8 F; H8 C  jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
  y) K/ J' G: ]6 waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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. V+ Y9 J: Y8 J% d) s2 F11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- H: E, P, v, g; E6 u1 R/ ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! R3 z; y% A6 b- S' {% |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

, o& [( i  }) [2 q有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ H, ]5 q8 n- r6 |2 f3 j. C满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
6 p. E  q0 ]8 |! |; p9 g) o" ]& v3 H3 d' p有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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6 I( K# N0 U3 Z4 ]1 }[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
7 @% J6 v- M/ G4 y6 b朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
" i: g! s( N$ W+ B* l满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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! \4 R% u; X' Z 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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- d" O: Y8 m7 r( q6 N 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

+ {, g. F) z3 ?& G. T+ z
这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
, j2 W* z8 S$ \0 \5 P9 ]* h6 z% M朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. y' m6 j: Q3 c" X) l( R满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
5 T* w+ G. r4 m4 {8 g ...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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4 Q* ?% V) m: ]" x& a) t- w, i再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.