 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 p1 m3 e& m2 }
2 w- O H0 D+ _
7 a7 G, w6 |! I6 N" o* d) _( T& b, Y% n
1. Bring your own house., ?$ g r5 y# I8 [& _- ?8 d4 N
8 a" K# w* U; p! m% L4 @
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ @0 g9 h8 h0 N$ j% K- D/ I
hospital.0 O+ n6 v# b7 K2 r6 R
/ K1 A/ E) n$ C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. g6 e* F2 f( V2 q5 P2 I1 X( I; ^! `- K* V
capital of Canada .8 w! q6 U2 S4 \1 r8 c
9 o+ [, a: ~% \0 T0 p/ Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 v, }" B7 t5 i( B! l Q% ^5 }) h
, k4 u3 ?# [4 K5 N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 A+ F% @6 M, [4 E4 ^7 Ucapital of Canada .) w+ C1 T* E5 H. u- ]5 r! b% L& z
. [9 f0 J8 ~! O: R' `) {6 u6 S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% e+ n9 G* {6 e
$8.00/hour.6 H$ K- w3 E! @% |3 |
. s7 z' b5 k. Y8 w, Z: ^3 h
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 q8 [1 W6 o4 b: Y
3 G+ m. m/ |3 Q! M- E/ ]9 a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" n2 z! G! H/ L# S- M5 a; p( F& `on a 15 year holiday ?
5 I, X6 e# h2 L4 ^3 x% y" s/ E
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) h: C) h9 K" K3 E$ zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# K& }7 q: Z5 z8 L2 v1 \3 `
3 r2 p% y; E( |1 _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( _' t. w; f% y$ O4 W1 ~9 N2 a% ?here sick.; [! L8 {; S* j% n# d* r9 {
9 ~5 `, ?! }/ J, d6 R, R
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: A" L% d7 |" Z/ J/ V4 m \: |years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 f4 k+ U7 }$ z4 G( ]; y% P* x
8 l `0 n% x$ N4 g; T7 Z
; y; U1 B) t! c7 M# S: m& l5 T5 F3 f4 i( m7 I& z
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
1 g2 f: Y6 C5 V3 O5 M" k1 M' u( i @. V$ ]& P1 c
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& u! G. f" K6 J# S- Y
/ D1 s5 z* }, g8 Y6 J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 F* `' P I( p$ c& v5 `+ d- d4 e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# W8 F& L$ n- Q+ }
" ^8 f0 O8 q. j" k3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ s/ ^/ G2 ]* k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: z; F0 n1 q& z' Gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 C, U" a+ i% k! U& \
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! i/ \( O/ u$ W7 B( y9 N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
: d3 Y8 ]; Y# x. c" S" b5 C/ p& P3 S& ]9 n& j3 P: ^( i5 G
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! r) I% {9 @* U7 G( X2 Y* p
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 o2 |$ j( y3 q
2 k \ d7 A0 s+ p5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) ?) _/ k: Z d
can get you shot.
( |' ]! d9 l% b8 K3 K) g$ D6 D, ]2 c7 @ Y0 D0 \
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. J) l- a+ \( w/ _4 p8 r7 c. k' bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ [' \& f: G* N! v! N7 Wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' n! c) T, ^. m- f; B% P
more construction starts everyday.
) w6 x. z, N: a5 E$ R
0 o+ X& P5 s* d) a$ W4 I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 K% {6 Z% R/ ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ m4 U. m+ K. n7 {( gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; `3 u9 r: x% M6 s
% K( \. d4 P3 U5 H) L) d) D, O
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" \% e- P7 }% i. c5 S: l/ t9 _( @
the same road.) h6 u9 { k5 I! m1 P
7 W* ^' y* y; W, M {4 H5 q% t
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" G$ u* B4 d" u6 S | b; Gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally, a! U+ D6 \3 ]
activated."
8 [. T" x4 [# ^0 b) v/ M4 i
, Y8 y7 ]/ q/ ?1 _9 p10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 n. s0 F }: ?; o! }3 v
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& ]4 z4 X8 ^$ ~0 @5 S2 o. |- S ~
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
- Q( }% ?7 l- D0 D4 v6 Z8 { T9 c" y, f* T Y9 W
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur _$ d6 J" V `& v& k7 I/ h
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ I ]: b# K& Jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- C% I6 E1 x7 p U3 Jvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
" F' t' N" C. z- t' L6 q
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
% u% M+ V/ e4 {3 Q; M! W) X
