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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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" a3 @% ~" k: D% ? 1. Bring your own house.) V+ p# T( ^# l: ]! j
0 b& U) d# B8 S0 e* c/ i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 _ ~7 X( C) g0 u
hospital.
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* Z- ^ W# L, H( T6 t- x& Z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 b) A2 r4 H# j/ x. m) Pcapital of Canada .; H# t3 o6 y9 p. L$ D! _/ U
0 j) M# M$ Z8 l3 B7 t 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: g; l( E8 J" e0 O9 O2 M 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ m ^: l5 ]# E: q& k" k
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ |4 F/ s$ O1 X$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 f0 G+ C0 v1 x) b* von a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( ~* S9 \; |: A; Dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 _* ^/ X" T) Q) n1 {" x4 N* v8 W4 m* J
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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- K! g8 G. e6 \! r0 o11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# t9 F' N' R; E K; Q- E
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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# f* `: |+ ]' t9 _: d* g THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :9 S) m- b& F0 p8 @# q Q
! N6 ^6 _+ f/ i4 K- N1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ m: ?' L' U3 M& p$ A* Z
: w& ^/ l/ _) }3 v. Z7 P( N" t2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( h) Q! ~6 M% O8 v' o: Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
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muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) `) Y2 b( [% A v% \8 N
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- [7 B H' t8 N: hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
o" O5 s* u$ Ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! o! l. x; Z0 K$ Ucan get you shot.5 w( Z. b' O) C* r; o) i* |
8 q9 s) w+ {2 \# {" K" e0 ?7 k3 t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" V! A6 o4 ]2 b, L" Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
4 Q- Z5 I7 l7 i' ~1 k gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 T6 q6 X- h/ K2 ^, O* lmore construction starts everyday.6 n0 P7 T0 N3 G9 f" w( n
( h) o- @4 c& @4 T0 Y. F8 w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 o4 z! F) @' x9 M3 \! `
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 l' k( S3 y% X" H$ psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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, g; U" P& J: l8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) U% [# s) S- n. b1 u4 o5 Dthe same road.6 O* o; I2 k* o' H. \5 a
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% P& f; Z; _6 W, y4 }
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; Z) G' m6 Y* g& v& s
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% w" a6 z* D, p2 E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 S& q. U* l4 S2 P, L- n; [lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 n: f- H2 M/ J. ?7 Q2 x+ N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( }1 i1 M$ u; o+ C* x cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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