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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 }/ r9 F0 W! o, H! Y/ O7 d
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; O; M. a( w1 o: v r9 z& \; R: ~% R 1. Bring your own house.0 c i1 W* V6 n: z, a; c, L" V5 G
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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& m- ~* j: I% X$ ]) o 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 F. v/ A! W& o" m- V
capital of Canada .
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[3 Q1 S& b* V' ^$ n" B$ S$ C 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 d$ @* T5 C& K! M6 r
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 j2 f5 g4 O2 y% G# y" e) H5 vcapital of Canada .
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' \5 A. W8 M' l; C* `$ p o% { 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# w1 N6 z; V0 p6 p/ u9 ^$8.00/hour.3 G. M/ t l3 e5 x% N6 b
3 U5 i8 \/ Q5 S) s, D 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ S' {3 Y6 ~) y1 ?- {
: f3 l- k+ H( X; M+ \: u 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ J# W0 s+ M/ Y1 R) i" D/ e
on a 15 year holiday ?9 f/ m/ ~8 x$ ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 D) M( o3 I. t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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1 C, |! O/ h" r8 L10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
9 [! l4 u1 ]' G% [0 dhere sick.
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! g# T& [/ ^7 Y }+ l' ^1 L11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 b8 t$ V: o/ E* F( }: Wyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".* m* V) G& v2 O4 |; K. F. r* f; v( v
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
& \' A1 ~; j/ V. |0 a$ @is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' i; X* L# K0 {) Q
# Q8 w( g. i& Z, T9 v3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: p5 |; e/ J! w% j4 |
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! N4 q. U+ o$ y2 d
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% v# X4 E& s; M3 U2 W3 _! Ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 N3 q5 S% v0 Y; K
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) \& i0 h% q" d& k/ h$ R, p4 d4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, O- ^, S9 z$ \* [
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& p3 |+ k8 }+ k/ b* D' r# T
can get you shot.
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1 r" \4 S' ]" Y) L& m/ `1 N" c6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) y9 X. @% b& W: A1 x, {9 I ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 T: W9 L0 j* o7 [0 }) _( a% c) Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 a3 `$ P, x% S: umore construction starts everyday.) G5 y) }( k. D: e9 v& p4 Y% ]
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 w. l4 j' _, l' m6 k7 l$ _
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! v% M# B2 P& @# p% g2 qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( M E! v+ l: D) G7 e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. Q/ U+ O+ r: z$ B% y; u7 z0 ]
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 P L% z* N0 l2 i1 V& d# ^
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ l+ n' I5 }* u* ~# ]1 y/ V
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 @" |. T* F3 L3 @. ^& w4 paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.- m) }. V3 S E1 K5 C
2 X/ {2 s6 k% x11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 E, X$ g" Q' I
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( E$ b! g. d0 s `blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( C: ^# J' D7 v4 c5 U
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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