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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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8 Q- C3 q4 F6 @- h8 N 1. Bring your own house.' \6 ], H/ `+ z) g% {6 @
# ^2 n" w* ]% N, i4 q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 r4 z& q* [- P: z& [! h* U* U/ K
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
0 K$ @% P9 l, O1 n8 Bcapital of Canada .
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2 q# R" H( t1 @ I/ F8 G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ {. s0 D6 U% z) K* Y# U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# |# l/ _4 Q; s! C C" \0 h* ^( T8 lcapital of Canada .
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- O0 T+ d) M6 O" K+ ?& `8 E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 t* L# {3 W9 a
$8.00/hour.
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" d5 V3 L, I6 k$ f, @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.7 { [3 _4 n0 d9 p- I) }$ B
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; }! R5 _! E2 f; D- K6 o+ E
on a 15 year holiday ?# g9 l* z, O7 V' D& n( v
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( d& S3 w5 o- n& ^! \1 A
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# W2 O \' Y& G ]' |
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ }% ]2 ]9 y2 I7 d1 F: nhere sick.
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" \# t5 ?. X& c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; D# |8 e& ?7 [( A1 ]' s2 g$ o4 myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 y% |" M( k. L8 e- ~7 j
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% g7 j+ g+ M6 z5 z
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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4 |5 O6 H9 V7 o. M ]# U2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 Q5 C. `6 Q3 p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., {: G/ i& A5 U8 ^; R8 g% s
- c% T- W; D3 `* K. k9 f3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' `; l; J3 {3 X! O$ b C% J, b
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 _; ^4 j% E+ V# b
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& G s7 K0 @, ]' @' p' b/ qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 U: X0 ^6 E* P+ I- A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* l1 K( n. _2 O( T, ^
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 ^8 b# z4 V; T9 L/ R' m* q
cussed out, and possibly shot.! O! L; G8 g- Y- [2 S; i- k
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that. z# U& u* {7 v* v$ J: t q; ~' C
can get you shot. n3 U3 L {8 C8 x/ _* x6 o3 l* Q# @
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. V+ c) G1 Z8 Y0 a
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
2 ?9 b7 e9 X" q9 Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
`/ F- M' k. {/ I% E# imore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# _6 L" i. p6 y( K& q. Gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- ]" K0 F0 N6 c. H& t: U
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( Q2 j' U3 X9 e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
1 J6 K* D( w* N a& P7 ?, Y7 sthe same road.3 t+ z, Z: r/ a5 z# b
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( y% ~* |% R- z! Fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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# O" b+ g) o! G T. V* u- s; H+ b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km P' c( k3 B. W) }
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
7 S j. D9 f6 q! X- m& E; Waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 T& I9 D( n. u5 t$ blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% s f5 o8 J2 B1 m: m3 _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( \1 u3 {5 Q! v& i7 Z- `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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