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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( {2 {/ G( D6 o3 w) F/ T- R) t
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2 J$ n3 T& l# c6 y+ W X E s 1. Bring your own house.
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6 G6 \9 I) \9 G* q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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5 R$ }& z7 Z" |' I4 M3 H' y 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 Z% Y5 z& A) E e7 ]5 S, e% icapital of Canada .: n' B- X! @0 w( N
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ P& |6 J* _/ d. d% N
capital of Canada .0 y; k& H/ B1 Z0 k
: j1 S5 f S( E( ^ Q! b 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ w5 ]+ [7 a- F* v0 o. o) l2 z2 @; m
$8.00/hour.+ ?- R* a5 I: {
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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! B7 r7 `" o+ Q; K- G 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 ]7 t/ a$ B; R D! O3 u/ y: Y. v
on a 15 year holiday ?5 Y# V! O$ z$ p# n9 I* }+ E
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas+ `$ V& n9 Q2 q$ a ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! n m9 T D/ }( v9 { ~
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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/ Z$ g6 W; d1 g' m* y2 a) n" o% c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- Z s1 o1 w3 Y8 u$ O! ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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/ W5 x- G# c: P7 n- I1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% X* K3 n: R+ L2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" h W; i3 ?. c6 fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 q$ f* }0 ?& J5 V/ d* X
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% ^ X) N7 Y; o+ o5 ?& }$ m1 @- }
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 q' [4 p# Y9 `& g& pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ B' ] _+ B6 A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# d1 C2 J; _1 e1 Z0 bcussed out, and possibly shot.
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1 `& F, f( f% J1 C, H5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
}1 o: y0 L) b$ N/ d7 I. ucan get you shot.
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|" @5 l( N2 C: T+ P# { k. E6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
# E1 u1 \$ G1 P- l& bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ |1 `0 k+ A- m3 U, i" n
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% {4 _9 Z# g ?2 u7 F
more construction starts everyday. d+ P$ Q5 Y2 `' g1 v ^3 R$ c" E
. N$ J* B5 V+ Q9 k# K0 m4 E1 y! W! N8 F3 I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 Y% J# W7 C1 z6 @% v! r% qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 m: ^: i' J. k% q# W7 fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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; R7 _2 p$ W0 v: ]% ~8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' x8 A$ v7 Y u+ x# A
the same road.' D2 ~$ N& i; p" }2 V( z6 ]8 _
% L1 e2 x: O1 y9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 z8 f# L# }; D; q0 nshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' b$ \( `. d/ x+ m; a
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' B/ q6 j1 n* U' E* }zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": Z: p0 s* A# C! ]2 E/ ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: [# F: N' s5 w6 ^4 {- K
+ K% p. p. e0 e; N11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 r* A9 P3 w1 Y6 a9 ?' v* T. Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: l, J3 p z/ Tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) {9 _1 t" n4 P3 q# nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
