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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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: O2 D! L) i1 J B J 1. Bring your own house.. b4 W% U6 c" S# B
2 ?( [9 [* K: [, |; l- V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 }# @' R& E) H' {+ ?/ e \" |, mhospital.0 t2 m1 c; h# j; u' e- |& Q
4 R U9 F9 `& @7 i8 x$ B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. \% M: Q8 H( S4 E& i- c2 Ccapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 ~4 j# u: U2 y* d0 w+ K8 L
$8.00/hour.& B. L% Q( p4 }5 D: P4 p
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% c( s1 S1 A5 n/ e; W' d, h' R
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# Y9 K0 i8 M) W) kon a 15 year holiday ?0 [0 E. O6 n* `7 |
6 Q; _# M0 q6 ^( ^2 k. ]8 f 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& w- ] f/ r5 x, K- S+ Z$ q2 u. ^prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)( u' u8 |$ E& H3 Z! _: Y% k8 n
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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9 v' B# G- E+ g8 z" M* }# j9 b11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 l; Z& _) T9 B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ i9 N# ~2 j! r, Z) C( b y
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% b( S; B1 \: w$ h2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. u5 H# M) J, @4 y
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: B* ?2 D8 D% ~: I1 O2 N
6 I, [4 Y1 l& ?3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# o* a6 I2 Q9 y7 y% r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& N4 I/ i9 o" t4 N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 }/ v- H$ Y7 G) B! {# vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# x8 y8 }1 ^9 C# D( v8 bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 [8 ]* p8 {5 J) j6 J
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ K0 C/ H6 o, t! i$ E
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, N0 `$ ^) \" \8 T3 Ccan get you shot.3 A m- x$ P% U% J! g
5 o" B) h m. m! b; c5 t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ I0 P" c. y" E) x2 E2 Ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 s! ^1 M: S1 T" ~* ]: o
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" {8 q, q; W) \( \7 m* Z8 O0 S Hmore construction starts everyday.3 I3 q# W7 j6 ]- h6 T
! Q3 a& A6 D+ r/ f" i 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% ^, J5 r: f: R/ wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, @' w# N: U$ q4 J2 X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ B/ c0 K, T y! ?" U& Nthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' ?1 | p+ A/ N( i/ g, N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally9 b- K2 Q" S! g) ^
activated."
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! ]. n, ~2 w- r8 b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" E* f* r2 Z! U+ L0 U: T
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; m4 F" w) H) z3 y% D; |4 U; t: uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! i; J' H) \# V% k# |! a/ V& m
: T; ~2 Z1 R* y. s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 r, R5 P' [$ S9 J; J: n
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
X5 V0 _ b* B2 w+ vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' [# L$ T4 f I2 ?+ y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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