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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* X8 d9 @4 A! ^! Q. n; D& a# u( B" x
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6 `. [1 o$ a3 R: y- p( l% D. q2 c 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and/ ~9 c& P# L# M7 ^
hospital.
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/ y/ k. q# r2 l5 P; N$ A 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 K& X1 `! ?! V) D, [capital of Canada .: {" b: i* i3 A
2 x% L) v1 t" K3 [1 u: `; h$ O 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 L# E# _. x' \0 A g( S6 W1 p; N: l
- [( F. v& H! p5 m 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. @# E: j, g/ ]- z Ycapital of Canada .1 @; t+ Z3 U' I3 N
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. a- g1 L, ~" k5 Y$ A& Z% ]0 U$8.00/hour.
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" S8 Q6 J# x0 H 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ i. w8 P- H2 c$ ^% V4 P
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 O) ^1 m( b7 ]" \on a 15 year holiday ?0 W: S9 C @) G3 I+ Y3 n
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) r. ~( i C/ r$ m3 H: P8 Nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 z9 e; Q7 r" X H" s
& ?0 P( w& p7 ?, W. O" v10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- O N" N: ?2 G9 b: Bhere sick.7 |5 j9 b4 B) q% j5 m! P
- M7 x3 b$ Q- {, K V9 ]# c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: N( ^% _ R0 a4 c# C* C
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ `8 F/ x, h1 K. j/ j, u0 {& X
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& x8 @6 D$ c6 N, y2 ^. F
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 P" |* j$ V3 ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 q: M! w6 D! e/ I( s% g$ w, A- Aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" ]% T* b9 O L+ bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ N8 u/ c a; }0 E/ z/ e
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 ~! a& I; K6 ?9 c% }9 e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 g& l0 z6 y& A3 p$ i' M
* {& b4 P* C8 G+ s1 O& c3 E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, D7 `! F" \; H, g
cussed out, and possibly shot.7 {" J4 Q9 m% q: u# h
# k6 n% n( X. C5 j5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ a3 [8 ?' u. kcan get you shot./ `1 r l. k% d9 Y' z7 \
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 C- Z6 [% h2 N% i4 K9 Ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ F2 H l2 D6 lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& c1 K, \. e5 o! L# Z( b
more construction starts everyday.0 X4 |4 a% t* z* P2 z6 ^' ]. L; I7 T
2 [( X4 Y$ B: V: s 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, D& U1 n) v" g# q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 M# e( D: F9 z% q1 C
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% b: I& E( }2 Q7 \5 r
the same road. }: M) X2 M, ], g
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 f v- ^/ M: _( d! I+ B$ Cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& _/ L) |/ z: U! C0 S8 q
activated."/ c3 z) s' D& n# R' [
3 m6 J* x: y y `$ |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ h7 _% C% ]* g6 O" C' x9 k
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"9 L$ d6 F8 C' x$ o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ J) d E% I2 |* y# h# k) H11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 M/ ^4 U- |6 ~4 ?: }* y; ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: L K# b7 D, P' C& {! vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' x8 M; W6 [$ v9 T& gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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