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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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: m& B2 s- u! Y" I6 q. { 1. Bring your own house.2 F0 I+ Y; G$ J* j" `/ |' S
& {8 J) c1 c! V& W1 B3 V9 M 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' I! P" f+ E! u. X
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
2 W, ]! _6 o" Ecapital of Canada .
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T% L( U' r' E3 X! e 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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# N( V$ Z% O/ }8 Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 F9 I, e1 D# S# R: g
capital of Canada . f) h, Y/ |: p7 v5 D
0 E8 Z+ Y( W( B: P. z/ x2 w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 e7 J5 R8 f$ U2 B$8.00/hour.2 _8 \& l& q, I! D
+ z, v! [ e; M4 l3 S. B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ J U4 f$ V6 |7 R" Z
7 I( r3 s7 _7 ~3 @" {& K2 ~ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# n) R2 d+ l' `- v/ {on a 15 year holiday ?2 D. d1 C8 Q ]! A3 f4 n9 ^
* O5 z, a! ^9 Q$ [+ ^: ^* P6 O1 T 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. M' i8 V" R, z, p. }8 y' r" Cprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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6 a* O* O* \' G' V$ ~0 C11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 K8 y4 i+ K B4 x* X6 ]- oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! M( h, f- E% u* R& a) v$ i
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 U* \/ \0 d& ~# c# R# I/ K% u
- W, P6 n* m2 Q( d5 o2 s! i6 _6 i8 r1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." Z( p+ @- t' K
2 a W" n4 j5 o+ P4 w3 r: ^2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- e8 l! d" h6 I/ y6 {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# j6 \/ @$ ^+ X! h7 G4 L
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: f" E3 W) n: U3 _" Z( zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 l; J: G2 k) V$ G6 P Tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% X2 O, b/ b) r3 p/ K' L3 o1 m
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ h! P" ^$ i' m. h& k9 h4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( Q! z$ B/ m4 W! Acussed out, and possibly shot.; D8 P) O) \ L3 U- E ?5 S
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# c* |1 y$ K, ~3 N9 C5 Mcan get you shot.) ~( n3 _/ ^* ?
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* a9 B! D4 t; B
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next7 s: l& i- y! O& @
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( D" |) _* p: {, F$ Q1 R
more construction starts everyday.0 |( Z6 b! g: K1 o+ {
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" E) I5 F! I& C; o" V3 kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. l6 C( B8 s. C T: ]3 h, q+ }
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 j0 j) a0 Q3 t2 n5 P
the same road.% L# [, @) a8 b
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ m, _& P& t/ P5 p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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) c5 Y' C# q3 u2 }& y& V11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& ?8 V3 y! P" N% E2 r/ S7 ]lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ j* N. a) l+ E% m+ q1 Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 G1 s- N) ?, E' N. ^- avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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