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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( s. G A; N3 c% K
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1. Bring your own house.0 r! H7 Q% I, c8 X
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3 L9 o" @9 E: n7 j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 c. X: M4 f# m2 T
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada . H0 K4 `5 J' T6 V9 K
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& p) K6 i7 O7 f5 E% U& V z' j
capital of Canada ./ e: b1 y5 c, h9 g/ _
# F) _) Z1 s; H* D6 i8 o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 Y& d4 z) X2 W+ M) z5 |
$8.00/hour.' O( E+ R. H1 S% e) R
+ l c' B/ `$ j" w$ X9 W 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ Z, m6 A% r8 x
$ L: o# j& b' E 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& M l$ s* n4 R9 Y Y# ~ Zon a 15 year holiday ?# X) w K! Y1 c ]* A5 ]0 U
. n4 Q0 G0 Z) J E# B( k/ ` 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" f5 \+ Z- q2 r- Z1 s; `
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 o6 h! O7 D' s1 p/ o+ c
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come( @0 l3 y) i' p3 y
here sick.3 d; y% \ E- f5 x$ ?# h1 x
$ P# q' J3 [$ @+ B* H& V+ H9 {11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: m \! U" E2 l9 a. C a5 {! A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 C+ y+ i* I/ _2 D) d1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour+ Q" A7 I0 F; ]( f8 v( l/ D! z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( Z# n2 j L! O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 F5 W% M$ l1 E' w$ D/ _8 umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( {3 h) m( M. }go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; P' m+ z8 _5 e5 F$ T, F' Ophone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% S1 `/ _* W& J; lcussed out, and possibly shot.3 M/ t, i! T- U1 S. u0 s/ f
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 ?3 j5 |( a- O# I! Z
can get you shot.
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e2 ]7 @, }) j0 t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" s" P0 s! r1 A, t/ Q9 t+ Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* K, l5 Q5 T1 l C) V+ t$ q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, G3 q2 U3 F) e% j3 cmore construction starts everyday.' J" ~% Q& J+ c& \# C/ k5 n
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,. I" a8 X* o' q1 h. D
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) g! }$ h4 O( |/ M1 R4 e* T6 {
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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; o: J W; d1 |! D* I8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
8 c0 j* Z2 _# v( Athe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( z6 V( E0 ^) h+ A1 H
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" A7 e! b& R: p
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. ]- j$ u% {# \" h3 y9 Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 ~0 o$ W- p( \% N% {! K/ Q3 T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ ~! n9 t) s% `, k/ D# u
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! Z- u+ o7 M& I) m5 O: v/ v
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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