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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ Z5 T) L& M( j5 ]; l3 v1 G2 e
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 n* _6 C0 l& m4 h1 g# o: x. tcapital of Canada .
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7 n4 C! v {, N I3 g6 l9 `* r 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 s m9 ?' ^# V4 Z# I; d+ t- F
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 d2 R- R) P+ c$ K. u5 vcapital of Canada .$ X4 B/ d7 ~( m; m
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ c1 W% T: O# W. M: G/ \4 {
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 n" B" I% M* l3 @( R% ?" S
on a 15 year holiday ?& |( t# {+ @+ m& k
0 g, H; ^. H& E2 a0 n4 E! C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 q t# D6 y- Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% J# S3 k' G+ Q- y$ p& R
* `! ^" e" h) c- J5 E10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- K g7 G0 h, b2 Khere sick.! f* ~5 b& t+ ^ j+ E0 N
0 G8 N3 E5 @% ^1 \& R5 x/ {# c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' P) |; `$ w1 [% Q: K8 B8 cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- Y8 W z& I$ M( C+ X. K
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, y6 a. [5 S4 ~: M
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.7 s3 K% c' j' o- h. Z
" G8 M, \' c6 n% F# \3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 Z& ^1 `) {0 U/ b
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 W& L% @) G/ A, V @( F' M
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires' j V0 L' E9 F0 D. W! }! t
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( z1 ?( \6 `( M5 [: o. X! G m4 Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ x! l, U$ s3 K; D
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
6 u5 i& _. |5 `cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ r3 p: Y, v9 K
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: Z5 Q2 O/ k9 S; Z' E5 J
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 p, c U& v. B* N$ ]; j& mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& C! s$ E( I' D N! l) I5 vmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* ~/ i: X- @, o
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,( ^7 P$ _( v2 \ x4 b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 P% Q; n& v1 B5 ~6 `
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 j5 @' [& i4 _, J& a( Uthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' t+ }9 }! {: {/ q, C$ q9 t, l: F$ g
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally4 d3 d N0 E O. M2 C7 z9 P3 B( O
activated."
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) m% `8 Z) n9 B/ ?% a( _, w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
+ F. P; P2 \# n/ ]) }zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
7 r1 R( W- @4 s* u7 A# iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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~/ |& n- q. w) f( d5 u2 x: ]& ]11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, x( m2 N( c0 b W% u W3 plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* v8 g3 x$ i o9 n
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( @( T! }2 D' X( r9 N8 ~0 uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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