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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.$ l+ O' G. |6 T \
) L$ X2 a* y3 ]0 V% g' \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
|8 H6 k: Q4 l! _ Dcapital of Canada .8 z1 E7 L" m3 E8 I6 h
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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& i) Z4 g3 r% x' @3 S; ^ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& {% h! z2 n, e, o0 G
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ ?8 G9 H1 K1 M4 U9 _
$8.00/hour.
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2 T+ @( ], k/ V* R7 h5 l 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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) R, k6 O% ?9 W$ N; r" Z6 f4 _, y- l* H 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
0 w0 a1 ^, g- P( kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come/ ~: H& b# E/ z* |% X2 K
here sick.
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4 h$ w1 t" H. f `% D11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 R s+ g0 e4 m$ m7 C3 X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ |9 z: O! F: t9 [" b6 y) ?
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 i+ a' ?, q2 N% O) o0 r
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) q. q* ^# U- G" e( g
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
b+ ^3 S! X |( B2 m' [muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: W6 t5 e( H3 r! q1 Y O( pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell& O& b& w' B( O5 H! k+ s( `
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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1 ~1 f0 w, l5 R, G' W9 y" _8 H4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% b; T8 i S8 J- @cussed out, and possibly shot.1 |1 F9 h r# X: M% I6 R" K
8 N# B( G4 T+ v2 f# t c( J& R5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 u$ F7 B: C; a9 l8 p
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour1 e2 |- y8 `) j, V2 |: G+ f
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next$ ?1 P+ E* z7 W4 W/ J
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( F2 `' A6 c2 }6 N* R1 ]
more construction starts everyday.) k0 T# @& r: b0 Y
, \- O' H/ }( M- } 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% F2 \2 |4 h* y" p* L0 d0 j
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 ~9 f. d6 k: J9 B% xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& T5 d& O7 {4 N" I( O! Fthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the: V2 }: F' L6 O3 A, v' X
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" Y+ g6 e; J" d) Y4 o
activated."
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$ O% b5 @# b( a; ~5 ~, l10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ o! w" p3 `# H2 _
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 ]6 q- x6 M% M5 _0 w5 X( p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 S# L) M# \% U/ q2 r G6 z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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