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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 E8 @" j3 h% n" O 1. Bring your own house. I! }9 f! @( H. \3 l
) f; X- a: U1 V2 @# ]; T( I 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, X' k7 v2 ]0 e, G; J6 X: B: K- t# b4 lhospital.; b: I; _' s9 i4 s& E- G; z2 A. m
( I. O+ k0 Y$ K2 f' e3 M) \ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
$ d, o5 C/ z3 s! U9 n9 ?5 Xcapital of Canada .6 s, }8 [' M, P/ w, r
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# n7 N! R6 S6 q# B9 m1 tcapital of Canada .- g2 o5 @7 C; \
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ C+ e, x& F; R4 m$ F. c$8.00/hour.
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! p1 r: k7 D. p/ W! R! h+ _ B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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% K$ H# R& H0 t 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# X9 M- a* d) [9 [+ T& i% Won a 15 year holiday ?
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1 a4 A+ v$ D& b! Z 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas* g9 Z s9 J+ k o3 K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), Z9 M/ \2 m0 W. J$ q3 C; N) C
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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! @0 g5 w0 W1 g" H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 H/ Q1 |4 O2 {2 h! V4 w0 W e6 U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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i c* H# w" B. W" r4 k$ H THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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: A! `& f& Z* y+ r2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. H8 Y* E2 V2 C% k: b: U
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its" U$ V9 g, T$ b# p4 d6 _9 `" \. I
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ y& { H2 M1 bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) n4 y4 K* b% |4 x* L4 Mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell& h) d% m: b6 R! `: d" [0 s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.. d/ q3 ?- e% V6 T4 U
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, ~/ D6 c5 ]- D: W
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. W/ ~$ ]/ g4 k/ P/ I
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next$ ^5 N' K+ e9 H, l( s% v
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ c7 U- @3 D7 g( D) c6 q/ x# ~more construction starts everyday.
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) A# c! f* w5 s8 s" l5 j I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats," u: L) [* I) b Q* u
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,4 d1 h- J0 A1 {2 O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* X9 q& ]# S! Y
* w3 M$ X2 T- D& x8 {0 A8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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/ G; r, C: D! d( k+ w4 a9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 N0 l9 R+ v+ @* r! H A3 u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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! F3 [1 T# K' |* Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& H: r0 _ c$ r& |! S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 M9 f. t2 j) Z- r. I
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur) d' h6 j- V1 M X. s) u, M
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" w3 R2 |4 z" |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
, @2 ?2 y3 O1 T& z' Yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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