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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.: E% R9 L+ q [1 H4 e
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and/ w) }) n9 } h- o
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
) W) k; ^; y* ~4 Scapital of Canada .) c% s& K0 F3 @. D t' X
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, @0 @$ s; S) Y* ]capital of Canada .2 I6 G. F, M4 i6 P4 Y
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is. f% V& Y9 L$ G; V( U0 Z5 @1 |- i
$8.00/hour.
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& ]: i5 [5 Z; D3 q6 C 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; e2 R# y" f+ \0 w5 a
on a 15 year holiday ?
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/ C8 h& o7 s- H& w 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 j- |3 M7 j* `# K" Kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 S9 G$ D8 Q V. ^. k
7 r3 b9 v3 ~2 s# Z' k, C10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come7 ]: d9 S+ E# }( w+ V' J. C
here sick.! A8 N; M9 Z: H& T4 t5 Y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' @% O* W: d- L( G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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3 n2 s( \8 W- X9 G8 ?' u THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".! J C# s' H1 S8 I0 v4 a; t6 @
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 O9 u/ T B/ Z5 Z/ j
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
|; I }- i u# @( x6 E( `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 b8 h7 B9 M: Q1 o$ W" x* f
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 O* |5 d. }6 y D, i" w- bgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 [$ G) }$ L: q5 k# \ @$ E+ W4 y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; ?: o$ q% A9 C K- F7 l
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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) n1 Q9 F+ I; ~ n5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
* p) q& ^8 w. ]! S9 R4 z2 M! [can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour& i3 s, y* r! D! _& m+ p& L
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
X/ p8 `# P Q1 D! v7 Fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 W" B1 A0 X- Z: l( t. Wmore construction starts everyday.2 v( u" G/ W; u7 }
; B4 r, @7 \1 Q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 F8 a2 ]+ ] m. G3 @
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( Z2 j; g/ J1 ~1 I! Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" R5 J9 }: b4 o8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, G0 F( F! `9 K, l ?- S
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km5 o: r( L7 _7 G; n# d" M
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& e# |8 f6 U+ P5 `3 Z( W0 t- J
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 d! |. H8 C2 u8 R& g+ ?
" q, \* X' k/ J6 M2 j/ w11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; Z) I3 l- x% U3 g0 T: ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" C' O$ s( J" M, K) @9 t2 d2 D% ~blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: Q4 t2 g# E/ Q% _0 j1 |3 {virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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