 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 ^( d* [0 s' ?6 s; \3 `
+ i6 g8 |; L- Z6 P7 e. y9 |
7 V8 y4 W+ C/ M% R8 r: }$ u) x
7 a2 ^( e' }+ Y# K! g
1. Bring your own house.
" r N! W2 J4 }9 F5 S
5 V$ M( w" R/ ? | 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
% F0 G* r7 f7 M& A! U1 @) O/ Qhospital.+ o: |$ ~2 L, c$ ]+ ?2 G
( Q: f& T: y( a" [6 [8 W/ p9 I3 f
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 ?& X& N6 c! ^/ o$ s1 X, t) M% Zcapital of Canada .+ N* D* l |5 R! _' s. T
7 K- Y1 p9 W( \( q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
6 U ]) Y) j |. c' {
) y$ f2 D5 r/ i2 X 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
{0 R" C7 ?1 O$ qcapital of Canada .
" D+ E8 M; `( O2 j' j
9 [$ Y% V* j) ^5 ^0 q5 E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 @+ s: e/ M! I$ F
$8.00/hour.
! I# }) S& b) v" l# m g7 p2 i3 t6 l7 y: e* @& X0 B
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
/ m' T0 u( f8 k* A% U ^; ~' ]
3 }- l2 w; l) P* ~) h! s: } 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
^( L/ R% s, N& B: \ Con a 15 year holiday ?
: v. p; ~( b) M" t
4 n y# }8 Y9 |2 V9 w0 n 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas9 K2 U/ [' o; m, m2 y5 A' G
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
( k" O9 @. \6 y0 c
# e1 r$ F O4 U6 R* B$ c" z3 ^10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) N, J& }" F; H" A& z
here sick.1 p* C. _9 g7 s4 p; T! x
* \1 S. k! D" f/ W11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 g' P6 Y: a: }* B+ _* z$ Jyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; _* M6 s9 D7 R; a' r
' }) @8 ~6 U4 _3 h1 j4 g" h) W
! c9 {* f. |' h: M$ @! s$ |$ v
* c6 s1 d; e& |) {) ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :# @- Y% n) N- ]9 P7 U
5 q! U, u# B. n4 |1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% O& o3 P1 i M5 B' ~ h6 @3 f" q( r
( g2 L4 J* U8 }/ D- {- `2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour- c5 G% H& y' N& [
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
/ c% R' v( g$ l. S5 t2 ]& }5 Y: j
' B% E4 o+ a' l/ E; B4 P3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' @6 _1 @* H. o s
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( c* N4 u4 _1 b/ N) R2 j% ~: n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 h. g% e2 T3 m( _1 Y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell; {2 u4 U; i" e$ ]
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
0 }" H5 L3 N0 m+ Q7 N# l1 G7 U
1 l* @- l& I- `1 I1 o4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; e0 t3 M4 A9 L! p& Rcussed out, and possibly shot.' _1 w- U+ f: u! L# v) r. \/ g
9 P% G. m9 o1 \; d9 D% g: W
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 U& c3 q8 h g% W1 }% r. Zcan get you shot.& Z T0 i, J9 N( m
1 C2 ?9 o) T) j- S$ h
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
* ~) h: h, n! P3 i Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! z- Z |6 v# c# D0 J+ sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 S3 X. I& g- a7 Imore construction starts everyday.
7 T' q' O6 ]/ }. e9 U
5 t& I9 M# P# G- d 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 d1 K8 y8 x: `8 M/ udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 q4 l+ E% ~, _" c9 q. x2 i& D) U
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
: ~; I1 D% p* Q/ T6 C% n0 G/ u. l" B' ]' g/ k) {: j
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! A3 G/ |" {1 r8 Y2 t I
the same road.
8 l" y2 u1 O$ Q: d" ^9 d* f) G% ]6 w9 G+ V
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 e% S i7 O! ]7 | H
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
S! |2 j \$ d6 z Yactivated."1 n0 ]: m0 O0 h0 Z- E2 _1 Y5 ~7 M
4 z5 i2 w, N7 F+ ]; n
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ v. x. n; R3 W1 S4 ~0 Nzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ g% J* n, {0 Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 P8 W8 d2 I1 ?9 }' |) e# k
5 b0 o, s: E* p+ ?/ O11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ b. ?8 q' E6 w. z( ]6 X2 l
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- u5 }! K# H. ~; t+ [blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 M! H. B+ [4 C1 h. G0 Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
' Y4 v, a7 j9 g* |! s+ G
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
( X/ M) f4 C# V9 s' O
