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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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5 r1 Z6 `) ]7 c3 C- B 1. Bring your own house.
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% i4 h+ E( d ^7 }( D+ R 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' U5 s2 x. T* B$ O. j4 Y
hospital.9 V0 C: B/ R: g [; H ^. O
+ W [' V; {+ c' ?2 i! N$ P* s1 D 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: ?" V; p7 z3 u4 g0 _$ d, m) M C. S7 ^capital of Canada .: P. H* P( A$ {: Y9 i1 a ]
; s# _! q6 ?& [. L& Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." d; X* Y0 n* W9 D# _0 [+ h9 q, e
4 ]- [. U* T- e9 p' p! Q0 p/ T 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: [: j8 y, j+ p2 s0 X
capital of Canada .
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5 U, L, |2 j N 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is( g3 }; z8 ~" K6 ~
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.8 J q5 K j1 k- M& w9 A
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% x. R l" i. u3 A1 q9 b3 I: t
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! T5 b+ C2 [ R- X s' g: x# ~, c
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
% v% l4 w, W3 ~+ u4 v) l: i& phere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 A: y! A7 p4 E8 \5 T8 O: C+ X1 o" nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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( B, n4 \7 r! E, }$ ^$ F% ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* V" {( K. X' t/ \% Yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) }/ F# @" j9 _5 c+ h
6 H! \$ a! p% e8 V3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: I( r8 L( m0 ]5 ^6 T' {
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 j2 z" d- _; `* s: Y* z2 C$ Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 O# Y' d. f" a3 E) g [go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, O* U/ ~7 l8 R% x' Nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 t: c3 X) K1 z# s' h' E) L# U
cussed out, and possibly shot.% i( e8 W' o3 r$ `
* A2 v% e; @5 ^5 T5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( q/ d9 J) K- g" t9 V, \2 ~+ n+ `can get you shot.9 f" [# z8 c t& _7 a# ^
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 U3 |; B& b$ m. A, a1 e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ L' d, a: q, ~% x8 s! q5 ]) K- Kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 I+ x! q( _4 X$ ?) U3 t: Z+ ?7 zmore construction starts everyday.% V3 R! |. W& Z4 g# o- @
q! t" v% i* y& M) g& n 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' y! u4 b5 \2 qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) F9 a# B7 b f8 h* m6 ]6 n& P1 hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& O/ L' n) s: |3 F" }' s. C, o' R
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 j: d. G; p0 M- T2 T9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% L. P" y2 @1 h+ x5 ~
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 ]: j7 W( [3 Q6 b7 c
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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2 l$ d2 }9 ]9 @- C: b+ F" O4 O* N/ ~accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( r l' S. i6 n ?0 \: q- F5 f
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ z* ?) Z# }3 N+ t+ W$ Hlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* { ?: r7 }5 Nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) _1 ?2 ~- M" h; P& e$ s5 }; C& lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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