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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" ^3 c% f6 v, p" Z
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% P$ l1 \' |8 U7 p* q 1. Bring your own house.4 H$ x  |# d+ O( l$ P6 M5 |" s$ Y

( \4 w* I  z8 ^+ j9 t- M; \+ Y' b6 k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
6 V- c( l: X1 G, r! s5 d; ahospital.
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' u/ a9 j; ?# k4 [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; q  y5 j1 x9 k5 Acapital of Canada .
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: _* U# o' g+ k+ Y1 [$ Y% _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." a! r: T4 \5 ~( W- C

6 R0 C0 o) u- F5 G$ V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ E0 f2 w# l3 c* A8 Lcapital of Canada .
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, w3 m3 @) C0 W0 `" b 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 l( R' W5 \* q$ X3 U+ P& P$8.00/hour.& k) j: a/ a2 S7 [' a
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
3 o& R5 p7 ]  B) con a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. V9 C6 ]* G' r
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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( L. \! w  z- i% b4 j# }5 w' c# O# H9 `10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 c; t' Z) G  v- Z/ |" L  X6 C& A4 rhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 z; r/ w6 @. N, @
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) s7 r/ m- J. Y7 N# h
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 _0 p. P# S; r- S* o) \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% r( b9 ~6 U. D8 _
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 b) K3 H9 s. j# D1 s# M
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ u- z7 y1 w" v% L. d3 d. r5 j; E

7 d# E! \. v0 X: `3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' d2 y$ v7 u$ r1 n# P+ Z# j- G
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' e( G# w+ s3 l8 Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; G4 Q9 d8 U% f+ ?& _# w# ~- J7 c8 jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 O9 H$ B! _$ k# m% u7 i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* w' L) D5 |5 ?, Ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 \6 Z1 T* N/ {& v- N  O% c7 H8 N) p& Scan get you shot.: f2 ]1 _! L$ B; @: p# n7 C% |

, z8 s& ^) l; j" c6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 I. c* f5 ^% ]: U) c7 E" q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! E- C& [. |5 u% e
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& p3 w) K( G, E& b. `+ v& Y. Qmore construction starts everyday.9 _# t* c  @+ f

5 T7 a" u" \6 ?8 ^$ ^8 O  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 W+ R, Z  T5 M7 a: Z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 g5 S. K/ O$ N: N; @2 q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' o! f5 b5 @) x' S

" h* ]; k6 W; w2 a# M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; O  c- w/ d3 _; e( S. Sthe same road.8 U- X' E  y4 c* [" ?$ k5 p( U

9 f/ z. J1 W" v9 d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 S( w# t5 c7 ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 m% W: f( w* L8 d1 P
activated."
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  e% v# T' R7 b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 O2 A# c8 N6 H5 T$ g' jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# y5 U  t3 h, caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( H4 m$ S/ [: ]

+ H: A  v/ q" K( Q& `8 ]) F1 {11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# o7 a% y% i% i" @! Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ P  i2 ~+ u. _1 v8 lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 @9 _1 X- h' W/ Z3 T, _" D) gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

. _  ]$ I+ p+ j  W2 M有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。; ]) e/ h; K, i% g3 s3 S
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。- j# }* T$ z) C1 }( h0 q
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 6 D5 `. ?- \: b' d* [+ O3 o8 G  x
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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# f( ~( O- [9 ~6 Y. r2 N/ L+ @1 j  ][ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
, a6 Q& O: P; |  {( z2 X  j朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。6 c6 D4 H( O9 a7 F; C
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
# N4 y. o2 o# K  R" c9 O2 V# } ...

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3 U' V5 @  E$ b3 F& [' j 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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4 J1 ~2 a# Z0 Z8 r5 V% A5 M, z7 U; b 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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; H1 v2 C, i* {% B' z; F这么刺痛你了吗?, [; P9 |3 ~) S+ P
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
1 V" V6 f$ R+ r3 F  d; j0 g4 J3 P2 @& N朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。0 O1 H( p) }( B5 r+ p
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& M! R4 E/ T8 J6 |
...

5 q' N& X9 N2 n: A7 \: l你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。( z4 i. W1 z% z: O( K! ?1 N
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.: }* a+ R) \: z; _* z- R1 U
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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