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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% M* a1 y# H( a4 V% b
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9 s2 j5 ?8 q" J" I 1. Bring your own house.$ g6 H5 @% h5 g+ ~( g4 ~3 m
9 M2 _& ~8 ]% n6 N2 r9 f- E2 i) ] 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ \" E9 [" I8 B. O7 A: F. Zcapital of Canada .2 o/ i$ M; a2 U4 W$ w
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) h- i* b2 F2 K. y
3 o, t9 V( `2 {# I( D" T3 G 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! \' l* K9 P, ?! J6 h/ O
capital of Canada .* [. g1 `0 ` V. A" ^# H
) ]8 P# O& |$ N; G. S" @8 h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! v" C6 }- g9 d$ s. p' `$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; g2 [: l! z2 J7 X- c& }
R% D% k$ Y( q5 j V, d 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- @: Y+ S6 x( |$ Y i) P( qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9 r% z* k! N% f8 X' y0 @9 x' q) R. y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 }/ A' N+ g' }: W# tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* N- t& }$ m; P) Z5 Q. N
9 N/ j. Q6 n: [" }6 f9 ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come, a) X. W. X, E7 [0 J3 i$ O& T$ l
here sick.8 `- d7 z; K# D; P7 {
5 G& A, a4 P9 M+ t3 {6 ^' h9 f11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 m& S+ Z3 S0 A* ^# r; {& D* Zyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; r, n- x3 E7 G8 I9 H5 Q4 I( V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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' t& B7 b) T4 i) R2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ C: q! E* W1 l% F I6 g6 Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 P! h4 B# a8 S( \- _* t7 D* g4 o1 [
: @. ]$ ~3 X/ w: H) R: I' y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& N3 L4 V$ p$ X6 L/ @' Kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" e0 T" {# x* q9 E: G, q7 d( _4 ]muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 X$ F) Z2 H3 N3 p/ P# o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: |. J% H& \4 n/ Dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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* @5 }4 P2 J0 ?4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. }2 {) j* M; R
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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' Y( ^' U4 f7 i( |9 D5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ ~; W7 _* G. m0 V) Q, acan get you shot.
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" K6 q% Y! J, [1 a: j! u0 e4 t% K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' h* e3 u. w+ [2 h, @
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 T7 z6 V. j! J+ Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# D/ y3 `2 u5 c2 X( u8 u/ R/ f
more construction starts everyday.3 a/ M- i8 S/ r: ]' s b
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ S0 [+ S1 s) n6 G5 t) N3 ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 x# b2 o$ X% o: N- ~" F8 h2 Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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& `$ E$ w& y$ @' x- u/ Z$ {2 C8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 f4 k) D; ?$ Mthe same road.
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6 G% y7 W) C2 x' R" v p9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; G+ S' G @& h
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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2 C1 ^0 }8 a% ?, O2 G10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! x2 f+ a! _8 |
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
3 O1 x/ j; p+ c% K' ?! y- Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* c5 v. t3 v7 |! j/ s
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- z+ N, E7 S- V4 V6 J0 u% Wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' z, g1 {* l. h6 C. [4 j9 s3 `& R
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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