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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; M$ `( m) J* G2 Z$ n0 n' q
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6 x4 q; n3 M) v0 U 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and5 [% r9 a* r$ v+ F$ R
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 l8 G: a/ _; r! }
capital of Canada .2 q! R/ q. K6 T1 ~3 k
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ C8 d% Y- A1 |8 a. t
/ n3 A' B2 [) t3 l+ L j9 _, { 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. p6 s) v% J6 D/ r( d# a& B9 z* pcapital of Canada .- z6 K- Q' [( R3 h9 c9 A! G
5 {8 E; y$ R3 f+ g q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
, I) z: j) b# y" `/ L( b$8.00/hour.4 Z- Z3 Q6 Z. c8 n: k* w
" s) s$ V: m+ F! | 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." {; C0 q0 U# [4 M' Y
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! H% z, k( w2 Z1 Q! a) \
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% j4 e& Y+ W9 z; tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# n( Z4 v2 S' v$ [3 s. F( t- W4 Z
0 f0 ?% j. j/ Q0 X* u! H d Q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- C5 m0 ?8 A( q2 B# e3 M; L
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 [( f8 ]4 i0 f% a
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ L! c8 H/ K( h, m/ _7 l
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 N L0 }6 f! R3 I/ t( i8 Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! y+ k- E* ^) I1 _5 e2 V
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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6 }# Y X$ |4 E9 R3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 l& g C# n, ?$ h8 \' C7 oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( l7 j; d2 x- U: a) O/ mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: m3 G9 o( X! k) |
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 q6 z8 d! O1 E' k$ Mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ D3 s2 i! \, H5 Y+ ^* n
2 R0 c. i- R$ o* k' V5 m: O4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 P ?/ w% {6 l9 Z& ?$ G( Y. r
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6 x4 Z. j& J2 R9 O4 \$ ^2 K) D5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, ]8 B; s& P2 x- w D) z
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& n. a5 Y! p& l# ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
; V% d) e% F- [0 i; dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 O* t! u2 r* v1 _$ C4 ~more construction starts everyday.
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% ~+ h u& U7 B. f4 j- P 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 e @- E8 N* s5 k B$ i
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 @" O; {* E* rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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; a5 P" E7 ?9 [4 V f: R2 Y. X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
2 q+ z- N/ X* e' l E9 y# Cthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 d- [0 a" c- t" ?: \3 q: T
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 c$ p- l% j2 I3 h* c1 ]+ b B& S2 d
activated."
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) S. s% d- V3 _9 Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" `# M! Q* D# [
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ s( w8 B1 f1 d0 p% \) S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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8 P2 P6 T$ z! d" r" v+ |% h7 r J11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ Z/ R/ \1 d! Q: E) w3 S3 jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( P$ U4 G; @3 U n) l( d7 Gblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 }- b( F: ]* B# h% T# w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
