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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* B% a' K" b: \4 T* D! W" s
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/ e' z: u9 B g* F/ q 1. Bring your own house.) E4 w6 W+ ` H' ?* I8 x
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 f) q1 P1 f% T0 D
hospital.. Z6 d# V7 W) {6 t4 Y
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. U; D/ ]7 q: p) y p5 w+ Y
capital of Canada ." t) v5 k% m% X# x
+ b ?" p: \5 ?6 m) w/ E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) w$ v# s2 T% D7 |% x; ^/ R. e; o
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* P/ k5 E' o, D6 b
$8.00/hour.2 N+ _: @- I2 x+ X' u
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 m6 {& x$ j( M. z; H2 z L
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* t$ f5 D: g2 N2 ?on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( A5 x4 b; e/ j" u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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- T3 s( |1 B8 u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ d0 O/ h4 u8 w+ F
here sick.
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- E! z" ^7 e6 S11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" u/ C8 \- M1 {# y; f" J" z* d* V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) t. E6 H( r# H% j9 E [
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ |. M. x# h" d3 w" O
3 B& d) O. j! P, {9 w# \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! u% [$ M- a* g! m3 n P
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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2 T5 {8 w" D* W5 a) a3 D3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( T9 Z/ y }- g. @0 a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 G9 z0 r* ?1 `- O- ^; lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; r" B% L$ V" Z3 t& wgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ x6 h, S3 M" ~9 p- T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# V" L' i3 ^: O2 R$ E7 A! }, S$ J
cussed out, and possibly shot.' b8 x# F" y, g, K
9 I$ s+ e9 A2 Z" I' I7 ^7 R9 i5 F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: S+ e7 H8 y/ F) zcan get you shot.4 I9 M1 a$ Y O; L
5 q7 x9 v' L3 P1 L& X6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% f0 m" b& D: y3 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- i1 ~1 v" `" W7 v7 J; t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 S9 H. w1 L$ }+ i" _. ~more construction starts everyday.
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0 Z# x- X; _+ F2 h8 r% J$ t 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,1 [" }3 O! @$ x. K" ] e2 I
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ d+ c+ E2 y/ x, T8 |9 L
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& N5 x3 C q- S' s
! y2 q: F7 e( j) w/ x+ h8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 Y% f- u* z, A& z- t
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% D! z) r% [8 u* kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 i; v( ~+ h0 S S1 t
activated."3 n- g- z4 d: w7 M1 @
8 G+ O- t, R+ m0 [, d10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, F9 z3 D3 a1 Y5 h* Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& |/ s7 w' _: L1 ] F0 Laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% s# W7 J3 p; A h2 c: |11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" |' s" d* ?! V1 S$ \3 t7 ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% i F( x9 L2 c9 v( z
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' V' D( S5 D7 m4 K: ?/ t
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
