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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.; G$ \3 @) N( O6 j6 {5 _
- c2 J4 u- I6 K2 r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder f, k$ ~2 B4 a( B
capital of Canada .. u3 b# v' x$ p( b: i2 C) u& c
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." Q5 h: _0 c4 F& t- p5 B
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
% J! ~0 q5 e# n" u8 @/ U- \$ D5 Acapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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2 M/ N& O/ U& o 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 T( |5 _0 b$ \0 ]3 n& u/ {7 O, Gon a 15 year holiday ?+ S5 m( f2 F+ `& ^8 {
, f( X9 _9 B, a' s' F8 C- k2 P& z 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) K6 s. ^3 V8 H, k3 Yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! J. n; a4 e6 x( k: ~3 U
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 k2 ?- i; S: c' k- P) @# Q6 t4 d
here sick.( P; J% y8 p1 P% W2 |0 [
5 }6 r, j( j2 j+ O; _9 o7 y* u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; t( \4 ~" c5 F9 w
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., {# A' Q- K o/ w4 m6 R( t S) _
6 R7 F# R" B* q4 K& N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 F" M4 w9 z: N# ~$ Y0 f$ c( c( l p8 Sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& ~' `6 U9 L. `; |2 J0 `$ }3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 i. W* }- ^+ o) h
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. t& r% U9 k6 N9 M% ]; V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 E5 s' e9 O& D5 r
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ j* d* a8 z& a3 C6 M3 M1 Q( ~phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ e7 C' a1 w0 n6 y4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 V( x W. c( D/ J# ^
cussed out, and possibly shot." M* [5 _' f$ S6 C+ q
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( r# ?/ _& ^* w$ I
can get you shot.
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4 W! H2 A) `2 S# j* ?0 C- P1 M8 K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour H8 [# Z; J; x+ V1 m+ c
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, }- ^& z9 W" |& ]& }* X+ N" b* [9 Xday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
O. ~3 n8 z: a/ [5 ]more construction starts everyday.
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$ V9 `. U$ L; x5 @* c- F 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 E$ b5 C# S3 [4 W
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% S9 u+ `% e; e9 U" G3 A9 v8 J9 i
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
" h/ l' Y- f" N* a2 O5 J' P! a& Kthe same road.9 y$ d: h; b5 u3 X2 h6 q
- [1 P! _7 C" q; M+ l+ s; ?% a9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% z* r, i3 B7 S/ Oshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 N% Y. i6 ~- A2 j- |
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 m+ l1 [6 U& X+ a3 a; O# |
4 ]' E" L6 `" \11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# g9 O' E5 Q1 }4 M2 Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ [3 G, M% V0 c$ g( O5 Q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& f& t& F8 p7 D9 f" y& G3 |- K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
