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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house., x% c* ~6 g3 Z% ~, E: x3 x! o i9 H; s
! X7 y% l/ J) m- r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 v5 f3 p" n4 Rcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) g. R9 R% E' i5 ]- d9 r6 M
) {4 ?3 \* _: n4 s 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ O; r7 L1 M( v$ z% Acapital of Canada .( b0 U$ x9 |/ k, b7 b0 u; t
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 t6 @) z! _1 Q' w# x
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' c* n+ F1 x0 v. G& f) L) l
4 H" N. ^' G9 ]' f1 t1 d9 |1 ^3 T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( Q9 x# a+ P! qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 t6 @0 D4 e/ I1 @. \3 Uprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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+ d) A2 a$ D. ]) i10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' d2 j: \! a qhere sick.# o0 c: a" v# t3 f% Y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! R# U: e/ N7 T1 m' ^# r8 K! n
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& P( l( J. @, q! e c4 I- N
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) X. v/ j" N4 L- z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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j" L6 o9 T' U( l- n$ L. {; {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 t5 i$ y6 r. B; @7 R8 W2 k" W/ Iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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G6 I4 G+ D3 g% F5 v3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 W4 b6 x* y$ h! C2 ]6 S
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% {% ~8 G$ V" q" n+ q; y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ Q" k7 J! u x+ t7 D
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 M1 S I4 F/ G+ A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ X/ ~3 y, M, o* N4 g1 {* n
' h" W' g0 {+ ]9 A1 V# B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 i0 {; v8 [3 ]% i( a5 p, Z5 G' Wcussed out, and possibly shot.( A) h" n. i0 ]* a6 l! T; | K. n
5 a' b4 r9 h% u6 G6 J! X6 j6 J% V$ q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 [9 w1 f$ e$ c4 i2 ]7 R) Vcan get you shot.
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1 U' ~" k' i# D( H+ n/ b5 t( F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ g: y$ e* Z; T& c9 e- N5 P
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ J4 M1 e# `2 J! M/ Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" ]9 J0 Q) B6 t* omore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ s: C) m% C' o, e% q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 e9 u( H( N" b7 L tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." I/ h2 P# C2 Q" ^: j
* m- j- U# l; p9 A) I3 J: O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 V8 C8 Y4 j [$ s. l" Zthe same road.+ ^2 s5 H' x$ v/ m1 I+ j6 ?* U
4 G* G. U9 |" u5 C+ _, P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 x0 x {. \( a$ \3 P! s1 u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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9 e0 H% V5 _: @- U4 f11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 i" b& `) B( B! J% Q+ w* }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; ~- @7 E# t/ R, pblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' H9 |% E( @1 X4 M
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
