 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
3 R8 q5 }# Q; a; E$ |
: t. _4 i- s! ~3 H% G7 p$ T
2 H! C4 ~9 }5 t: a+ @ s+ e
- K* F+ ~% s0 \. n! H# f 1. Bring your own house.
0 @2 F1 U% k0 ?7 _! \- G
5 v) J* L$ m1 Q" K( N+ p$ Y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 M8 `0 Y1 I/ h/ |7 y6 j4 Qhospital.
6 Y) E; F* f2 a9 {: i& |/ {* T
: Z3 F* x. y# i3 B8 o 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; n, L1 T! z; C( a5 j/ jcapital of Canada .
! s8 J+ F, z8 W; y
5 W3 y! e( p/ Y% }! h% p; q7 P 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
( l* K+ T% ]1 t' i; Z4 Q: Y
- Q3 n/ ?& T- [+ }+ ?7 O7 M 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- b& Q. G' n# U q8 Ecapital of Canada ." X6 {- \% g# i7 k) N% S
- [2 K0 m/ \. F7 E8 `$ k ~+ A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 ?) V+ E- E' }4 _" L) }2 B
$8.00/hour.
$ Y3 B. |5 u, M- y- j6 s: X0 n+ N7 J% B4 V! J$ k
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
' d. c% a: u& q. o
. \2 ]7 k2 s$ l, W0 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
' @1 B$ ]* \$ R! F" Mon a 15 year holiday ?! t- O) A8 [ j! Z8 {1 w' T# n0 k+ D8 P
4 Z9 v5 \! Z. Y: y
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 R9 a4 v/ K* ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 c% J7 b; U9 g4 Q
2 ~% P4 y1 v6 T: D7 c* a
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 [! H/ q! `0 O, _, K
here sick.5 v( V& Y, V, L2 G7 z: o- b
( J3 X4 L1 g& \& w/ \0 z/ W( i
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 h! b0 J- g1 A/ U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.: ~! X4 K* C9 t0 v
) L' H1 p- _- e
6 s4 f5 |1 m$ _3 d3 g+ B; `! b D, P
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
3 a$ T3 @ X; j+ `5 a8 c! g
. j; d+ { T- a8 Y! ^1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
6 D1 e! b5 H9 {5 J, K, {3 E: @# S+ r- h* ~* J
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour; n: n. w% f! |' _- Q* M3 f7 X# d/ [' n
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# G q. W" c; G, g
s9 J4 W, T, H' B% {9 `7 L5 |
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ q4 @' v3 F" M9 L, Z1 Z( ^own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" e7 d5 ]) s2 c) f9 U$ i% E" Hmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* E' f* G4 f( J5 Z1 w: w
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# l. L6 I: C# `0 Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
' \$ {* u. |! m: d [. V, r
/ z q3 }" m6 }4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 R( v) ^7 Z% V4 u/ ~0 z( b
cussed out, and possibly shot.
* y! S; K4 O# J, d: d6 ?1 s% X: I7 y
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! |6 T' }6 C- _5 u, |can get you shot.
; L4 |! e8 Q$ n6 J
3 K5 O1 S& j; L- {6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( l* R1 |5 z2 g( v# Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( h: g! R- `3 s" J) I4 Uday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 g& }5 e" i: G* c6 gmore construction starts everyday.+ ~8 l7 R. J6 q/ X0 B
r# m/ f$ f8 x. \ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 C! j8 r( n) ?1 @- O0 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," W8 o1 v6 v0 M/ F
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 T3 z W+ v$ Q6 L( I) O4 n
) Q8 D; y5 o, ^8 M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& i' Z, j3 H( \the same road.
& u% A( t* s5 f- m, R a9 L& i8 L+ @
3 O( N- ]9 f- \- @+ c- w! p$ S9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- s& X: C) P+ f( _, O, Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
! `6 q: o* @8 A: V* Zactivated."
% i, E. c) A. u# G7 T
/ y: l* L! k' G0 Z+ }2 d, y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) Y5 M8 {& l3 g5 W# lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! q; U- S; u0 N2 H) C! t1 Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; y5 D2 s; @' r- E% n+ q6 h
* A8 c$ I( g r7 }. ?4 y
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! O4 V/ g+ m; ~lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) E$ S2 Q0 q, q+ j3 X: \blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 u% i7 _- M$ e& j
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
; \- Z) V3 n; W" x% C7 D
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
