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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( G) \ t% v! @# ?8 e
hospital. j4 X' Z2 `, J% q; W
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 s0 [- ]6 |5 {- l* l4 {" h
. H. u5 e: h# k8 k f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( p; u9 z5 s; m5 V. l9 g* tcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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0 _- H1 k2 g; O 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 L% b2 w" V2 t
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ M# `' X) ~# i- S8 E* Z
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- f# p# w- Y: J; n
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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; H6 F1 P: E) R4 E0 t1 J0 k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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$ `" k4 W( W1 e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
( ]( D4 c4 I4 Z- b6 w" S/ e2 i/ Dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".8 ], i3 g6 I- e. T* Y2 B9 o2 w
5 A% Q2 y7 @* `$ ^/ j7 s/ s% P4 v: W2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 d8 F, s, B) m7 V, t8 h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: ?, T7 q& U" k! P
; f8 d# z3 y& @! c ]3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 V( p' K% V' N w, ~/ s& `% O- Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) k% Z( n) K- `4 M9 Q/ ]! Q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: P* X* Z. `6 e* }* g2 e4 d
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ y6 k# y* m. j$ Y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 F% ~0 c* G/ C+ @
* l) K5 J2 T' f: l' T2 K8 m4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& T6 O% O7 W; e
cussed out, and possibly shot. x. S& B$ A( v3 w3 a* m
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& A" [1 v8 C* @6 s5 Q3 ]$ j& Z
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- W3 m( Y! J* k3 V5 x. J7 W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
4 k: k6 W& {& u; Dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ M. h. h# _. h/ Rmore construction starts everyday.
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6 f6 r7 S' O9 c6 q+ ?' k+ A, C+ } 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,. W; r3 w) r; L( W& u7 T
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% S, O8 Q: v% b z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) K) m+ x* b( _. {
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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2 G2 a/ F! B! V/ {9 _5 ~1 v9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! B$ l; I$ s a$ `- ?, Y4 _3 ]0 P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" X) W( h- K4 [2 K1 ]
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; s6 r. N( K a; s2 a( @7 \accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( V* K. G) x. E$ \
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* r, e" ~4 j6 A
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; v; h- \$ z( B0 e) C! `
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
$ T j B, I+ Yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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