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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house., w4 \7 s4 l5 Z% W+ k: v* d
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder3 c' S, J1 J$ Z3 ]6 w# i
capital of Canada ." G. Q# V" l6 S6 B
" f' j0 z- j% Q* n0 F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! |; s1 z' a3 Q
: E4 x. N2 f4 v5 H" U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! H% \* i! Z/ M, ^6 p: o
capital of Canada .* o$ r Y4 b* I9 R8 L# w
, Y- a+ a0 c0 Z* J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ {: u% i2 R; x: b' P8 F; N
$8.00/hour.
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- ?9 c" R* F- R9 { F4 w+ k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% Q7 e7 ?: ?5 |0 r, g3 k
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 }5 B" X2 M3 ^ V: h1 D T
on a 15 year holiday ?$ ^% {0 i, u/ M+ A9 N: }$ ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. \: i! g. H; \2 h! ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 z0 f0 o5 H! V: V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 b$ X# Q: V& T3 }7 X( X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 F: a7 r( ?5 T7 f$ I
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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6 H+ |, i# c4 ~1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- u' r/ d* i, x$ b* `$ Y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! O0 S: z2 ] o) L0 p8 His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% Q% z, O4 {) N- V
0 c' J+ x& W+ a; _, u3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& y8 U. D8 e o5 F- Lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, M- d" F6 _$ [( C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ e: x3 b7 D- }7 jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; y, K+ i+ a) x- hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ b' l: O0 o) M) v2 n0 U
: H! X0 ^! [" Y! r1 Q4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! z0 d) G* a% ?4 a R* |3 H9 L" hcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) J- G3 S R2 z9 D4 E5 B* j
can get you shot.. @7 a' Z" B7 q9 P' R
7 `; D0 t" l+ \8 m6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 ^ d0 D% B$ c4 o/ _5 g& q% [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* ^# e) n+ D9 mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 d" O5 c# p& ]- G+ {more construction starts everyday.
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- C5 s* |0 d/ t4 y { 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ W5 x9 a8 A: w: w5 [4 Ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 N0 V% B" Z- K
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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6 W) K9 s3 M# a2 ]3 l' k2 X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: U1 V& p: O- [, R8 f/ T. |& Q) U$ u
the same road. w6 z- {, K1 c8 K% |8 l& a5 G8 s
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ l& E* }0 J9 T/ P; j6 I% o
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! U7 Y5 e" R/ \
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" s. P6 ]+ l$ a3 B, N( uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# n- Z# ?; T1 ?6 z+ Kaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# w; J. \4 y* j: d' C: Ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 @2 b% L% S y( xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. W& w# \# }5 Q5 F6 c' `) @; j+ ]virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
