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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA! `; J$ t$ ~! H
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& k6 ?. k7 O t5 u 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- K0 l/ w8 f# Z& W! Mcapital of Canada .8 R" |; W. H/ Z8 L! {% ?
! u" e! g1 c6 I r. ]' U7 x 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# a7 l* _7 x2 v! xcapital of Canada .7 C0 B# H3 W6 q' h8 |! a" I
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 T, n& ]5 d- @5 E+ E
$8.00/hour.
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7 M: m& n0 i X# h) u; Y; @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 i3 G# r2 D( X
3 t) ?. g# K ^; P, d 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) A& L1 P3 D1 f5 |- S! C9 n1 Won a 15 year holiday ?: g6 w5 }& m3 g/ }+ K" v+ z
( B$ e% G# T. j! U9 b3 Q# G 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% O& J5 {, R& k6 ^6 H8 y3 \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 t* E ~9 Y6 d& ]% t- I0 M. F
. M! N9 p4 s$ k0 Z+ d10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
: D+ v! [' A. g, U6 bhere sick.7 w1 V5 [; {$ U: V" S: _# u5 ]
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 \( W4 I8 Q3 Z; Q& C; o2 A8 zyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 v7 q( o) h- |+ v, B, g' f5 G
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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: b9 _4 G2 u, F( l; h2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' V2 W; p: X0 R T1 |
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! O1 L$ K( h; I# _8 W: {- E" B
) j6 {1 C/ p6 W8 [4 t. p3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 z7 i3 P7 K3 n' h8 ^, Y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' G( V- {9 k. e) ]muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& O: c8 U8 W+ {0 x
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 k7 |; P: }1 L7 w3 j+ mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% a3 z( E h: n4 s' Q4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 A6 S0 f1 p0 Q/ V$ ^% C+ H
cussed out, and possibly shot.* O6 c% @' B3 l, j( \9 s
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 e7 N' _ b2 y
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 s: Q$ d! e0 w0 o) |" [& g) P$ u
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 B! I& C+ D6 S9 _" E) g2 j' a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( L# ?0 B8 R8 n( Zmore construction starts everyday./ F J0 _4 C$ \- y( X
; v1 o+ ^( t8 u 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; L% M0 |. T& H' t H% [
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) Z3 \2 [8 H C- d
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) F6 R' W' x3 w0 ^5 m8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all9 `8 T% K5 }* u3 n
the same road.7 y7 z* b( F7 i4 }. o& y0 z# B
4 |# n! { c3 T3 e5 }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
K. C+ I+ R: w5 @" Y& D2 u; ^shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( l8 l4 e% \ ?' W
activated."
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) N$ j8 {; A* A10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 Z# Q3 m/ O* {: b
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"0 \; i4 ]3 Y: @/ a* ?( `' i" \
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 q# P: p3 w5 n$ r; S% P/ `
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! k0 y, v* g& x W. }" xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ ?+ H4 O' k I) A5 V: Z. n; e( P5 w
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is% Z6 v2 ?3 W0 I2 F/ R6 x+ a
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
