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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ X* w5 a) N% a8 v$ K2 j% B  X* E% f

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1. Bring your own house.
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7 m. B5 q! N) A, R1 [1 \- U7 C" `" o* K 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, |8 l9 T  @8 x- H  x$ I% P6 Jhospital.
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: Z9 b5 t. ]; ~% G  o 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' y, p7 n4 I+ @6 z! K* ]) q
capital of Canada .
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7 ?+ l; W: a4 r3 ` 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 y  q1 U6 I* l8 O' }+ D0 W; p! I" v

( h' }0 d/ J* C* h/ D3 k 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# I& ~6 ~* r4 k# J; K2 R# d
capital of Canada .
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4 x8 f. Y; w6 c/ ]8 { 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& c! x6 S/ t$ H' \1 c" R
$8.00/hour.& U2 I- E( j! T2 n+ Q) p

1 _5 ~/ p% u1 K2 r! @! { 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ j6 j/ A! A9 C+ z1 T

* _" b( o- j$ ~4 H9 Y! P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# R8 a3 D3 i& a* c
on a 15 year holiday ?
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- H: l  c- d3 {0 o; x+ P 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, X# G# @' c6 v" j5 R
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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9 `3 w' g) r  y$ W11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
* e3 Y& c$ P! ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; V8 E8 |1 V. l  S' D( a- W1 {0 Z

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 M+ X8 k/ b2 c2 W' B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# N$ b! n6 U7 P7 Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, p( d1 F0 x+ o7 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 b4 v0 u: R8 _5 `. C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ N! u4 U+ z& }) Z5 Ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* N! s/ S+ s, K- a, }
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 }4 P7 U# D( r& P# C8 T& Z5 O

" j+ m' ?( k' f4 X0 U) n( Q' E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," r5 f1 c2 }  I/ k
cussed out, and possibly shot.& R/ h- c. Q$ w0 F

$ d- y7 x; z4 G* ~; ?, E5 j* Y/ @  ~5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ z, A9 s8 x8 ^; S; k' ^
can get you shot.
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, w: l, j% b2 j3 h, _8 Q4 H6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( z* K$ x0 E; t) d! b% _' d6 j8 Z/ ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 E0 ?8 b& p# u  N  Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and+ T' a  V/ `/ u6 B' R# K
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 h/ H" D9 ]- ^( |+ s
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 g) v' z- L1 f$ I4 K, Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; V3 M* q6 b5 D( k! g. k+ I
the same road.7 |3 |' H: R. Z
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& e2 y0 w" |. A* Eshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ f- Z% ?' M1 d# W& \# O6 E" ]  I
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: P; F- o7 S: q7 l8 ]8 g  H! W4 S7 o
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% c/ D' r! ]. R5 \+ s
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 u* L; Y( t% s* a! y8 X4 I3 ^

, s& E6 k9 P; W6 N% O1 J11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 s' v4 b3 w! m7 _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 S' K) Y: S9 N0 s& Z1 j
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 I3 b% |9 N* K1 Bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
( P( g5 M( ]( _满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。8 j5 V; ?0 \0 r& T) K# `3 i0 n
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : , w/ F2 T$ h1 P
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 : k/ V" `! D1 A4 r4 d. F0 h

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; V6 f$ @) h- K4 T[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 * ]+ f. U3 X# a* H. e# H! C6 I8 l
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。+ ^+ ^( e& d6 l% L2 H
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& S7 |4 f  J& C
...
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9 h9 x5 i# y$ J9 _) U' R 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?9 v7 i2 j. |9 h

& H% Y6 I& Q- f5 f! }: ]我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 3 Y1 x  w- V  p9 F; ]
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) ?+ e* V- h7 U, @满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' x( v0 w$ m9 G& {* x9 x& n
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。2 L0 ?* Z5 Y7 X. \9 _
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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