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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' |5 d. @7 U: K1 A' |+ ~
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1. Bring your own house.6 K. e% z V9 v# v3 {
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 Q Y: M8 g% A6 P
hospital.
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5 [0 g0 V. d$ s1 I2 F0 v2 ` 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 i& a5 B8 q$ P+ {) icapital of Canada .+ O w- d2 [9 S4 c8 P2 ^' a
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& b0 M: V6 d. p( X) ^7 g
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ k6 a I [0 y) O& b9 B) d
capital of Canada .2 ]/ V' K! p, |: n+ F
. V* _0 b+ ^ z$ j0 a3 f' E3 ~9 C# r 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is) l7 ^7 x. q: Z' z+ C* R
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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& i8 {$ f$ ]2 K: I; M* a7 x! \ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money, O. F8 P" d3 W; y
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9 n1 Q1 N$ G3 e& l 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 ~; a6 ] S2 j4 H$ ^& M4 l/ Fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 y7 o% Q3 G% w5 d% d$ r
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! E6 `4 c. W- ?) u
here sick.
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& f3 Z) p. \; K$ h3 b/ H! H |11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# L7 n7 ~3 E* l- s2 q& [
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ E7 c9 H1 ]- O1 j f7 Y# h/ p
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* z7 p$ j$ [9 Y! K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 s/ V) [. I) F. R% v; ?" C1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 Y6 v" W$ k& C0 V; x& x' kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% D: ~. x$ I% y( p2 m: D1 R
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ I; G G) W& j8 H! _/ e# P1 I3 N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 j( O6 t, B. L; Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) I7 y" O4 F' m0 Dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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: F/ t7 i1 W z' m4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. h! g4 U& {/ ^! b; d I
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; n3 I; J! T6 j. D& b$ @% y8 j, j
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. |8 H9 d' U3 C+ @" R3 _) @ Dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 a; v$ p3 e& w/ b" }( z0 P2 vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 s2 W# \+ \5 K5 R
more construction starts everyday.' g" l+ S0 v; w- |! ^
: j& I% t* k8 a% S 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 R' c6 v' U, z9 R( F9 Kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 O& U' y7 N3 d. q/ lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 S4 W; f3 V& F
* Y5 ]. Y4 \; C/ X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% D X9 D, p+ o! v' |- E- K
the same road.% z- R/ ?8 r% E0 c3 R3 |
% g8 @. ?9 U+ c9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
; [6 r7 r: @1 Ashoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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$ m b% s. u; }8 W- f8 t( k10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 v" u1 B0 R) ezone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( E1 y7 w9 x# raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& U" z: b( s5 {0 w zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( \# h- v, q/ L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
\3 O& t; [, cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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