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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA! k9 }; m7 t! _0 E

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1. Bring your own house.: M- _/ ^# V, C9 B

5 A. a* f; t  T, h$ U: _ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( j0 u( Q# X1 ], E: l
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! o6 q0 I8 n4 f7 e
capital of Canada .
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- v. C0 z; M: A* O* c9 M: P( Q  N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 p- j6 Q9 F' ]' u5 {2 K

5 S, {; R) D1 ~1 | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) ?. I$ X7 q. W7 d
capital of Canada .4 _. X8 i5 O6 I- Q+ d
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 B) L) Y1 z* @# X  o( o! `$8.00/hour.1 e1 c8 W2 z% h' I: X4 |
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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( P. X8 j4 B& k( g% A. r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% @* a4 x. i2 Y* E, f6 P
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 i: n: O" e; T, e
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! ~7 h4 K  D' v" e
here sick.0 ]: w2 @. M/ X! Z+ E: A

7 Q! h; I! J7 D/ K/ K8 d: E8 c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 w; N, n5 }- m3 {0 D
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 C' m& z$ J, W1 E' D. K: e

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( V% F6 c, r  y1 o1 N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 V9 z  l: }: ^5 V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 g) ~5 _/ {' }4 p( x2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) d. g$ \+ s2 J, T8 r
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ ]4 p0 F3 s/ b. b; j& v( s0 w, @" ~
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' c0 {1 t5 y: g( P7 Z& ^muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' ?& I( h! X% c& w: d$ k1 s' ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell; z$ X: @! P2 |% ^% b; [
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 O" _- Z6 B& G- h" `+ L* z$ R% }
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# s$ y7 O, H* g! E- c) C' }4 vcussed out, and possibly shot.0 T( P4 H- I+ \9 M. ^, m4 k* J9 I

( y, U5 Y' _( G8 x6 o5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ p+ @* E/ m0 J8 h  p/ G3 K6 K
can get you shot.
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5 A) k8 w3 ?, ]7 }8 }6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 F; T! t0 `! Q4 }) u9 l) d  bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: r3 Y+ t. Y+ I# Q; P% k  r! W
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 g0 @/ a) x+ Z& l
more construction starts everyday.% t, ~! @1 m$ P. e0 J' c( F' S

, G$ [! G: V% B8 K8 U+ ~  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
, Q9 V6 z# y7 w0 |deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# y4 ^% L, j# L0 |- S0 J9 \1 `
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% z/ K( i0 o( Z2 U- K

* l" c# Z. ^, K9 Q8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 T$ e: [3 j5 ~) i
the same road.& C- G  Q4 v/ D) q

* z+ V$ V! o" T; |9 \- V: K9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 h: r( L4 R; W1 A6 fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! D5 ~8 ^- `, f
activated."- D6 o8 e1 `+ r

8 X! a2 U5 U" C/ I  P* N. i10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 M9 a! o; U/ P+ b. p  t9 Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( d' U7 ~; P" Z5 x' laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur  u/ L$ `8 u5 L. |3 a  }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 S# g0 i- J/ H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 R$ K# ^' ]4 W4 h, B; j- }
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

1 E1 D3 }( s( f+ Y# N有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 I, R4 V, J% x4 D满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* U6 C: |0 J( K% k5 `9 `
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : # P, {$ f$ o! H$ N+ o

% K7 P" r& a" I# z6 J& C* n此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 6 E9 _: s* G9 t# A& W0 W1 H+ r
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
0 }& g: Y  K, N! E& S8 B( n满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。1 B' g2 z6 ?6 t
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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5 G) c5 I! }( M; C8 Q 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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$ B5 N" ?% u) N  z" ^' [: T这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
8 U" K3 A. |7 t5 I4 z朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* ~/ }( z3 s; e* H9 e/ |1 V+ I* m满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& d, r6 q( C$ V8 [9 L
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。4 h, \, X! w8 g1 n( e  [% ?; O& M0 @& x

2 ?! \7 d% v7 x" ~, A5 H- ?再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.2 }( a0 l7 i6 ?3 _8 o  b5 u
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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