送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA



0 |+ n# A# v" B# Y5 }% Y2 G 1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
) a" U5 V4 e$ Z2 G5 ^4 }hospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% o% s. l! D) y; |" ~capital of Canada .
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, ?# k+ [+ ^9 A' U2 i% x) v 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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0 k8 _. b5 l& p 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

; N  q8 t) c, ] 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

- J& w. {8 \' W 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ X# z2 c' c/ g# }prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" @& A, P. Z+ A6 t) y$ Ihere sick.
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) s' l, g* W1 D1 a* \) W3 _+ Q# Y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
( C0 S/ \" ?" S. }5 Xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- D2 r9 j! w2 yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

1 [2 ^2 d; N  S" X  E) X5 R- ]3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 K& L* |+ X% _' u: E- i) fown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" Y& m2 X" o8 y, y* g; `( ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 n3 j) z% G4 q7 [/ qcussed out, and possibly shot.

& R' w+ o. R  K1 n5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ y1 {+ K3 b/ F$ ?2 hcan get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* W: i0 o& e5 S" Oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 n1 \( _1 m; N) x) _9 Z5 C. _( tmore construction starts everyday.

+ \$ Q/ ^/ x! F& l) g3 Q  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# E" M1 a9 L; Ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
! M5 X( u; g; K$ G4 r) Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

# y; S) X9 c: L. t4 y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 U$ c' y0 U- j) Mthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
! \0 o' i5 ?/ n+ y8 vshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

% B  r& v6 D0 f: D9 _) @6 J: I11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
  t* u: l# g3 Q9 r2 jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 x8 I! K& M: }: w0 }6 v9 v- }0 h7 Qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

5 r$ u; D$ k( ]5 J) H. S+ I* V: v有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) W, B$ e  R/ j! A" {9 P满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
; g+ C% x0 b' b# ]: m
此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
+ P: [* G' p. |& `# t朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 J6 U. q/ S( Z. R) `- f满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

$ [" ]1 h  ]0 V
! ~0 k- t" {6 u: X" ` 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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# P% }; X( I( E 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

8 Q! ]1 s4 E* p( \这么刺痛你了吗？

6 r  Z) B$ l* A% `我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
. ]+ j# c  t* B7 n+ ]3 u朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
) y* S6 o1 [5 p" T7 G; n ...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
! o- V$ o! ^! }

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.