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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) ?7 O" f8 Y9 l4 A9 [
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; X  m$ y' s* e6 A 1. Bring your own house., `. g6 `8 m5 F! V+ y, p, d1 S
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% |! i1 m6 ^* ^1 Z
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: p$ z( u& b) z" R4 u
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& D9 K4 N1 m1 r- G' b4 {
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( G' r9 d" m6 Hcapital of Canada .8 N/ E( q0 e- O/ R# {! E+ U8 N
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, E) V3 K* `, e: Q6 b8 d6 g
$8.00/hour.* F2 L$ M7 ^. O* F( e: t% L
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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2 a3 i4 h" s% |# F( Y/ x 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 ~4 L( S! ]' @% C% r* w* {0 @
on a 15 year holiday ?' `$ F. X0 ~; a6 m+ W
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' ~0 f; |! l# p+ [4 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 X# J2 Q7 o6 V0 R9 J% x& j
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- y, \6 |) y: ?2 q. ~* _here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! r1 l6 H9 C( n2 T' Dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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- n& ?/ G/ x# b/ d4 }2 S  A7 O THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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) E) f9 o5 d- N! n; V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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# [, l8 g- X, L' w2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# o& E. \/ d6 D( i; ~, K5 c
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ C2 A9 S' Z; _/ ?$ |  y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! R( A( Y0 }2 o4 _+ u
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 B1 r: P0 b# d
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 P) X" v. a- x/ ^6 B; Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: \  e1 a! ^6 L# D1 ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# P' D; M! x1 ]5 K, bcan get you shot.6 `6 B+ t8 Y! l! z( z2 H/ n& \1 N

# \: L0 R+ s" K) j6 ]+ ~- ]' P6 O6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' A5 u$ c7 I# ?* Z' _1 [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& q0 a7 g5 y  n1 u8 r, ]. Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" f4 h1 {+ u5 e& }+ Z2 L7 G
more construction starts everyday./ t) V8 I, P! ]* _3 X, n1 H

- \6 W  z$ J: f" @, V5 a5 l2 N( T; w  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' |8 x! m" |, h' Q  v" {* v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 w- e3 P8 S2 \- Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
! U4 D! f& U4 o7 P1 \$ L" {6 }the same road.
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+ A5 q5 f6 r. C7 R, f9 j7 e9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 A9 \1 M& b; ^/ p8 e- Q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* d4 z- j+ T! l- i1 M2 |zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", y% ?: d: h# h* E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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3 l% p% o# e+ P+ K6 `$ r11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 x* i, Y: X3 n- mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ {- K" v7 T* c, R% o
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# }) {' K2 d3 z9 n
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

) B3 Q2 q, V7 S1 t2 R, T有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。% l4 J# U# T! J4 W) y* w
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
1 e- S6 x# Q7 N' H4 n有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : ! Q/ T) S: ?, ?) ]7 R: L: V. X; m
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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1 O. i- k  N+ L: z0 ?# j5 N8 F4 z[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 6 {: s) l5 L/ ]3 u1 a
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。( T6 s( x. \4 Y! d; a5 J
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。: E5 n- l* a+ H' K, r6 H
...
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7 r' x4 K% [1 C/ P 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 8 d) s2 V+ D# H- Y2 t

  ~1 v! n$ Y; P2 U0 l
) T+ R, I: l  Y  u1 l% K& a3 E 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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% ^( ]5 h& a+ s9 Y8 ?1 \, x! L这么刺痛你了吗?/ L/ g- U  F! F* s# t+ `# o' e3 f
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 8 |5 M3 J, t" G( S: F
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) _# t  A) m8 X0 Y- o4 \4 l7 ~! g6 v( B满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。4 d( I" |1 G2 y5 C$ Z5 Y- @
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.0 Y" z( W! a) a; s& Y

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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