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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# C" \+ o$ J: n% e T8 H, U
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9 i+ ?2 e1 K: y 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and }1 w7 f5 Y+ z1 F8 Z4 q
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
* O$ C; j$ Z& g# `1 u8 k& _capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* `8 X2 Z9 [/ i9 \+ D7 x
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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( q/ `, \$ h3 |, h8 |0 Z' h7 U 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ ~1 n! r {9 ]( O9 Y' ~) K' q
$8.00/hour.% j* k5 a+ T- z( y1 }! }
% Y g# N& f$ q7 t* Z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 A; ^& n- [- D+ r
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
; i4 T8 u) t3 Y1 v, x4 mon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas% D& h) K3 ?' m/ A; C- b
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 e2 o2 D H1 x5 X* ihere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 Z% U2 q2 [5 @' Y, \# e$ k! R4 lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 ^2 S9 H2 ]/ @% u3 a" \, E( S6 B
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ P5 ^5 z p1 { V7 S5 Y% W2 s
5 l! i. w1 T# Q0 `/ R1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".' s9 O/ z1 d; R2 a8 ` x
( s# }8 |2 n8 B2 L& L0 r+ e. ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
% [ B8 A+ }6 m: S7 lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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0 \5 C7 x* z% W7 g, B5 P3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ B9 u' u. b5 {
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ T+ }9 G8 j( S
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 x x! x) ^- D5 n0 J2 b" ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ ]( f, ^9 s Q( r; r( \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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8 ]' U8 ^) J! ]3 G d: v D4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 [( [" _( f; y; o( {
cussed out, and possibly shot. g' a+ N3 l5 X# M/ G% U
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ M4 O5 ^" t3 ^8 V$ k1 H+ U2 K0 Ican get you shot.
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0 \$ z, x, b/ B* {/ V! `6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) m: E7 B8 o3 H
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ l' J! i) N' x9 dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 g1 o7 `6 W, P; M# B' f) G6 Rmore construction starts everyday.2 u% ]6 O C" a4 J
+ o3 T6 `! V6 G: V5 i 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
@" \ @: Q/ Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; v0 t8 e p# I* w5 K9 ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 g/ z$ @4 v G/ W, m& |5 j& \
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all9 C) i$ z4 _$ P+ |
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* F( G+ z' }# i& i
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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. D0 Q1 J2 r6 N" x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, k; b$ C- e& m% V( k
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 m3 z) d2 T/ d! V7 C
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., f8 J7 ~( r2 ~* @3 l. B, v. b
7 K4 A3 V" ^, i11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 t" \1 A% k% _% H' U# R4 Xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- D2 x8 i2 i7 c" |1 s8 `blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( B. Q6 K$ e# w# U6 Q( v
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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