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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. k4 c# ^' h! B+ B0 [- U; x( B& {
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" f# _) ^" l; g& P 1. Bring your own house.: @: N2 V) f# j* |. v, s4 |0 |6 {
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# P6 Z. Z' b+ ^4 w( f+ f" O+ _
hospital.) E" d8 X3 H# `
! e' E6 c$ S: a3 B+ i# Q$ @' O, H1 n 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& M( r, W. N- F) s% R- A! ~
capital of Canada .
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5 d2 a" `( c6 O' O; b' e 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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. o+ l! x; k: S3 p. }0 }* {: k 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 Q, P! g# G% E) q- ]! @9 v; m
capital of Canada .. T' y/ j: f& b) _$ v! G/ A
" h+ c8 @% b! n2 B8 G- l2 \ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- ?& n( J& Q/ h! x( g8 M% R0 a$8.00/hour.8 l( ?+ X: e d' X2 o. o! A( i# F
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.! g4 _+ O0 q3 ~0 H0 a
. X& i. M4 C1 w9 O7 R/ i 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money1 }/ @* O6 a; U5 I- N
on a 15 year holiday ?/ z* e# Z1 T' M4 |) M) H/ G! ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 @9 w/ ~7 z, [6 [! E
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# y" {- ? M$ `$ ^7 g9 |+ [
here sick.. e; x# B9 W; d; }& J4 X% F
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 H9 ^2 [# Y; j5 f4 d4 E, [( eyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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6 \0 v7 a+ ^, C; t5 S1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ x+ f7 B+ u5 y g7 ~4 D. i
/ u' j) A5 A. d) [& v& T6 J% V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! T* W- V3 X! K8 F. t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% m8 g& u% Z `) Z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
E% p F4 c& h$ bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# M$ ^7 ^: m1 i7 p, Nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' z& Q) x8 I1 Ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ n: m* I3 N$ @2 |% Vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' C! a4 w5 W, Z, b6 G. G
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% Z1 d# ~9 {( T+ c' h# Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 @7 [; p, }) N% R" m
can get you shot.5 x* V. n2 |. e0 S9 W0 q1 m; ^
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
7 N/ o5 n" H) c! Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 l, n8 @# G' V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and; \7 b+ z. a* i4 N% h
more construction starts everyday.' X& P* Y1 w% C
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: H# O0 w: f. k
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# U, f d' E8 w9 ?; S/ c% r
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- U: v1 X2 }* Z- z) J( S) W5 L* x7 v
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 Z0 b; E' ?! O6 q" g1 ~! K. Xthe same road.9 P0 S1 \8 ~& B8 [! Y, E
1 L8 f2 Y3 a2 |% o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) J: q0 I9 H% S4 Z7 q9 r# n2 ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 w$ f* k s8 }, R7 S: T8 k
activated."' C9 ]0 q( i, \) ^) D; y, Y
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* F3 ~7 h* A) c2 |3 kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": O3 b! y+ k" z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, {% O( I5 [4 h, W; alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! M# X7 \5 z. |: s
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is7 b5 w' t; Z& W% B' ^
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
