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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* B% a' K" b: \4 T* D! W" s

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/ e' z: u9 B  g* F/ q 1. Bring your own house.) E4 w6 W+ `  H' ?* I8 x
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 f) q1 P1 f% T0 D
hospital.. Z6 d# V7 W) {6 t4 Y
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. U; D/ ]7 q: p) y  p5 w+ Y
capital of Canada ." t) v5 k% m% X# x

+ b  ?" p: \5 ?6 m) w/ E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) w$ v# s2 T% D7 |% x; ^/ R. e; o
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* P/ k5 E' o, D6 b
$8.00/hour.2 N+ _: @- I2 x+ X' u
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 m6 {& x$ j( M. z; H2 z  L
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* t$ f5 D: g2 N2 ?on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( A5 x4 b; e/ j" u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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- T3 s( |1 B8 u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ d0 O/ h4 u8 w+ F
here sick.
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- E! z" ^7 e6 S11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" u/ C8 \- M1 {# y; f" J" z* d* V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) t. E6 H( r# H% j9 E  [

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ |. M. x# h" d3 w" O

3 B& d) O. j! P, {9 w# \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! u% [$ M- a* g! m3 n  P
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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2 T5 {8 w" D* W5 a) a3 D3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( T9 Z/ y  }- g. @0 a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 G9 z0 r* ?1 `- O- ^; lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; r" B% L$ V" Z3 t& wgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ x6 h, S3 M" ~9 p- T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# V" L' i3 ^: O2 R$ E7 A! }, S$ J
cussed out, and possibly shot.' b8 x# F" y, g, K

9 I$ s+ e9 A2 Z" I' I7 ^7 R9 i5 F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: S+ e7 H8 y/ F) zcan get you shot.4 I9 M1 a$ Y  O; L

5 q7 x9 v' L3 P1 L& X6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% f0 m" b& D: y3 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- i1 ~1 v" `" W7 v7 J; t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 S9 H. w1 L$ }+ i" _. ~more construction starts everyday.
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0 Z# x- X; _+ F2 h8 r% J$ t  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,1 [" }3 O! @$ x. K" ]  e2 I
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ d+ c+ E2 y/ x, T8 |9 L
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& N5 x3 C  q- S' s

! y2 q: F7 e( j) w/ x+ h8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 Y% f- u* z, A& z- t
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% D! z) r% [8 u* kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 i; v( ~+ h0 S  S1 t
activated."3 n- g- z4 d: w7 M1 @

8 G+ O- t, R+ m0 [, d10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, F9 z3 D3 a1 Y5 h* Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& |/ s7 w' _: L1 ]  F0 Laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% s# W7 J3 p; A  h2 c: |11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" |' s" d* ?! V1 S$ \3 t7 ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% i  F( x9 L2 c9 v( z
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' V' D( S5 D7 m4 K: ?/ t
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

/ O0 Q% h- u) }& ?! b! C+ J有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。1 f9 ]0 t* n) x: c) v5 K
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。6 @% v8 m2 U, F* B9 h  i
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :   v; f9 O! v  ~% M  Q! E
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 # x9 V" D$ g: Y6 q

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
3 Z& ^7 W% t6 c9 E- F朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* p/ Y! N2 H! h. T+ D0 C# V/ Y
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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  W8 R2 x1 p5 D8 Q2 q6 G' ` 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?: E6 A9 W  q0 U$ ]( i- `

& v0 Q, h' [# T1 C我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% k% w$ i, T) U7 G* \8 l" M, }% E朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ O: W# d" C- u% ]$ |  |/ O% L- l满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.9 _5 Q: \3 P$ ~

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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