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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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/ X( Q+ l" \; v4 I  Y0 d 1. Bring your own house.
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) @$ v+ w: N- N, e' E* J4 C; F; |: X! s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# q" y: R/ J" U; _7 F8 ]: t
hospital.
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6 X; L2 k( |) K1 M% V 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& J5 j7 q' _/ e# Y$ w
capital of Canada .! {7 p: S6 N$ {! h: d- z
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: D5 v* q2 r, z9 W/ I) n 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; S$ c* e- ]: _/ Bcapital of Canada .: W; f4 C' Z1 K. B6 A

: ^3 L2 H5 n. {( G$ b9 Z( k& W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* A/ q" V! @8 A0 t
$8.00/hour.
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+ y) \" o* G9 O, a- X' D2 g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ ^7 ?1 I/ @- E; O1 Z- t4 [on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 Y; h' S) J2 o8 O- T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 D" V* b* e' T( q: n
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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& a! @  _* W, Y" h$ u0 S) ?11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 ]# S* e" f* b1 b' p) _: Q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 O3 `1 W1 d+ m& K% R* b, t) T

8 T" ]3 |6 O5 u3 b; |2 x2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 t5 L$ S0 ^* m% ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% i9 ^' R# f: I" i( l' l7 T1 U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 l2 }# Z& V+ Q" C% _& K: eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# i/ }) e! ]& N) c& V: I7 Umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
  e/ Q% B2 S2 [* W% Zgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- I, L5 o1 M3 V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 S" a% y8 h) b  {9 a+ x

/ E& F6 {6 J( Z8 i% \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, o, q' X/ N$ @. a" K+ ?2 N" C7 Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% X% Q' O+ ?6 F+ d6 D- _  b  L3 \
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
  Y, }& d: F5 N( `1 a2 w) Abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ h( q2 w9 C9 L2 }' K% S1 e+ F
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) @* m7 @8 s# j
more construction starts everyday.
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( ~( c  p" |1 V2 ^0 L, `  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 E9 [3 n& E, ^/ K7 X* G
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 a3 T2 V# v  [, l: E' @. M4 ~* Jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) c0 x  A" s) z0 ]' S8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# J( O0 `$ v' \the same road.  m' B' v% N9 L/ g+ `, e7 d! T; U0 \
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 m& `1 `8 A/ r# G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km2 x6 d* c, o* m
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% F( F1 C& ~. b: o1 S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 T: o5 D- y; A: N7 ], E
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( b5 N- `5 r- o' L9 a, ?+ N6 w/ Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and  e: Q  h: u4 C: [) Y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ u4 w9 ?1 X- j; F9 e
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

, N9 ^( Y1 x% |# d0 q' q* i& a0 z有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: @6 C" `* \  d: @, O( M% `
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。) ^+ }5 v2 t) t) p! Z/ O
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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+ \1 W% G, z: |0 m" A' u[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ( u# c2 c' l  u( Y  O2 ?
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ T: ]5 {0 S3 M% q满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。9 x. V7 N. w8 g( g) f! m
...

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) I0 l( n/ ^8 T! x 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 7 J' e; G1 S( x* Q! _0 f
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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$ r: A5 P8 \2 X! K# K这么刺痛你了吗?, K5 A0 ], s  H" `1 H

% m) n8 T7 W# I2 Q) c我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ) z9 P0 H, E' n- P  x* |; G4 K
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。% b- z" k* q+ z
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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0 l- R+ S/ p, P! ^你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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4 R& S  j6 y" j5 m9 `$ {, s! s再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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