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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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: ?1 |+ P# @& ?1 x# f 1. Bring your own house.; q* |% x; a* j: I# P1 e ]- }
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 |4 [; e& [0 |7 thospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' H8 f$ {& u* f; j k3 [capital of Canada .
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9 ^- k1 }+ E* }1 _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 I/ c6 T, m* I/ v- K6 W$ K
3 j' e7 \4 _( m y% | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& l; ?" |" v7 Q$ c
capital of Canada .
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8 v. H, T0 y+ o, G/ A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 y, _& ]4 o3 h& [4 I$ I
$8.00/hour.; d+ ]: Q ^- J; c8 m6 w8 y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
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$ q; r) [0 V' w, ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 Q% M# a5 @, t+ o6 ?0 O
here sick.& L/ N. D& S b- Y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
|( q) |3 ~) W! ]0 gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." @' n. S/ _" ]# r4 m2 ]" f
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 m) h ]7 b7 ?# C5 _9 ]/ w2 X
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 f6 @. v9 p' B8 f6 L
, a' z% F- E* E5 `2 }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: j, b3 P5 x4 \( H0 \& [) Jis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ F$ x O5 Q' `, u+ K9 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest4 R$ S3 _; `, h4 r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 h4 p' }9 g- x$ J9 h& ~2 s
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 l3 |: `: w4 R$ s$ o! j
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% Z8 O% {$ Z ~7 g7 {3 N# I4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! n4 g3 T$ X1 Acussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% x* S' T% }6 A, O) ?* E
can get you shot.) Y9 W" K7 g& c& ?+ F; U
+ Z" ~5 e! S L0 e5 ]6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ J. h K9 u3 m( l6 a ]9 mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# F, @, z: ]9 L! {
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" j- C) X8 \) M
more construction starts everyday.& \" g" ?- Z5 R& {" X0 S) w
0 h; `9 N" p7 g; O 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- a. z, g( E: v# p: L# t- ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ E2 K7 A) j5 M7 \1 r( x+ P! b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 P. Z2 I2 d% s9 Z J6 w8 P% |
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 E" J/ y8 ~7 I3 Q: z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: o9 e( g6 A! k3 A* ?
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( Z: `4 K! B" M l& n
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' V' j' k7 P0 E# b2 N0 Oaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 Q1 f& C# d6 \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and a: D1 Q* v+ t( v/ o- ~4 ]; i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) j5 s1 U3 L/ U5 ?& {" F9 Cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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