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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 y2 q$ a  i% L8 M: r* r# c2 X4 M  N 1. Bring your own house.
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. e* B/ r2 \$ h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
% M& q) ?0 M' A& c" a) ~3 Bhospital.# V! F* x/ Z1 x, C" {- D) I
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: w8 v3 ~( @% m/ F0 h9 Xcapital of Canada ." D: H* k  g2 h5 V2 N6 M' v9 y  t
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." n3 ~3 }# n3 u

$ ?# m2 x* x0 u, Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 q: n8 L4 o. N4 dcapital of Canada .
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: U0 U, l8 R7 x4 S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is3 m( p  h" C0 N/ i1 ]6 j9 w2 H: r
$8.00/hour.% D+ j1 T2 T' b) C0 p0 A3 b5 ~

4 b2 W! }3 O# t- p2 Z6 G$ P, D0 z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 \0 a! N; `+ _

4 }$ n+ F7 _  t9 P7 r7 A) H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
3 o5 ~; k8 T9 \/ J) W% E+ c' Uon a 15 year holiday ?
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5 ?$ }! {$ d3 |+ i9 r  T 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! D( e! b6 E; f" E9 K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- L" I) p7 |  x
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* d- t# R' B  Q! K2 y( s8 M
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- y+ {) B7 ]: I, N5 u% s7 U: |8 ]

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( {% M0 V/ n1 r) h& m% { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" i- K$ X( K5 C( r+ P
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) o/ L+ ~5 c. S! ]- eis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ @9 T: @7 I2 Y' g
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& S4 A) _& p$ y; p2 d8 |0 T6 Xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 S1 k5 R$ h& _
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 X7 Y7 _0 w* |4 |3 Y  t! M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 s9 A- e- J/ p4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' K6 i0 {# H! d
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 W" E+ x8 |- m- Q1 p# h
can get you shot.8 j5 y+ r  l, ]1 r3 \' N

: f  B, b: A) [  b( S% u6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. `# G* Z; |% V( b7 ~barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 J& B- x) P; T* sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 @$ h: Y# E/ Y3 y: d* _: g
more construction starts everyday.
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2 r: x) D. L0 @8 o+ D; c  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( Z, Y2 _5 V, `- y2 ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ n# P8 E# T8 a+ a% u
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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! D( f+ c# l# E7 z8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; l! B, L& r$ s8 }+ M3 B3 R* I
the same road.
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+ o/ P1 b" _0 }( B4 Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the8 Q# F: S: v/ D. p- H
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& |6 j4 W- S* e; Y: t
activated."- m8 P8 O0 d! s5 h& w4 A
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 B8 x1 b8 {+ \, r1 wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 t# V4 n1 M. P! D
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* X7 M. ^3 Y" I5 u

1 k& ]/ n$ y/ d0 M$ D' K11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 z2 Y" b) E0 v
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# t/ t2 M8 b% C* b; ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* r. e0 a( g& ]% k  `5 _/ ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) |$ h8 V* p5 Z满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
3 l+ q# {% ^( q( \有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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+ r& X( G  @: }* R- U此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ! B; o# Y9 s; I6 g4 R! u

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* B" Q9 o  G: C2 g1 q; P$ P9 l. M. h[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 $ J5 Z# ]9 ]& t& N1 W# Q( R
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. M7 i1 |) x+ V满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。3 F8 q- t! z1 _. K( q  h
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 2 b5 q" k$ U; o* M- T+ s
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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5 l( y* A2 ]# s1 ~, [/ y9 C8 _这么刺痛你了吗?# r. K8 d. |$ D$ K" d

6 i1 U% b. p$ N4 Y2 q我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
6 P" z; ]+ h3 h2 Z/ q/ N朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% C) R8 Y' }$ V* D! @+ U/ m满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。" m7 g% |3 |6 ^- ?6 I: B
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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