埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2838|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, B# Q& C0 ^( e) `# k* K
; U+ T. @+ P  p) O
: |( t! [* g; F, f2 T0 w# ^6 l
& m9 s9 p3 s1 G# C% ~
1. Bring your own house.* s8 z- I: ?/ j/ q: O6 c$ ]

6 r8 j7 e/ x# r, Q9 { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ g; z/ J& i! z! R4 I
hospital.
* _, l# B, a6 {: a* M+ n6 G5 ~( ~/ @7 c. `! h" ^
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% ]+ T& y1 J6 W) o# ^
capital of Canada ./ J' M* D( O2 L" N* z) A
' ~  B8 C- N$ F) h9 G3 {
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." E4 Q: I0 H6 q
* p! m. @) G. L2 W. J& X% _6 r
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 u* `: u  j$ G- K1 ?
capital of Canada .
* M7 ^1 V/ M  @# E# [7 t, o. k
) G% q& V: _" l, n. P. c 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! @9 a" b0 H# [9 S$ I$8.00/hour.0 [: _& |, K% l8 j9 l7 k

" o: C9 w* |; ]: o) s 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& y5 ^7 {; k. G! v; c4 @; x9 K% O

, F3 K) e& s) V' U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) G! s6 h: R7 z' m& b
on a 15 year holiday ?! v1 V3 @" \' A
7 C& [* T3 L& n/ |
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 }; z/ z; N; ~; m/ E! ^' Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* C! m* F" j5 ?: N' \

9 |: u' {2 m& o0 l9 }) h( o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
: e2 Y. q" E& h) A3 _" [here sick.6 T! W6 n# B1 @7 I
5 ?% w8 J1 k* z8 W
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 q6 R% ~- {0 X, H) C: ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.3 N3 [( s3 W* h, c' h
+ E3 s2 V, ~2 o7 y: o

' D8 h; `2 n7 J0 U9 U8 }' h; X( I& H0 I7 t# t& K
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
( b& R2 Y& E  G0 C. C# J  C5 B  n" m6 \2 N2 Z
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
, A, I& l# I6 V
3 t2 Z7 _* u6 u: x! F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 {" F9 Q  h, S2 D% B  M% a+ Z. f$ mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3 F6 S6 I  v0 i" r% \3 ]( \
1 W0 U! i- O; w2 `3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ @: ?7 F* Q7 w# c$ n
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ {& p2 [$ k- K3 @) P, N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 \8 n! }" E, i( e/ V! Fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: |" _. ?! a8 X+ zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
" G& d! R7 g7 L) J4 i. t6 Y7 r# L6 n- ]- D+ O
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ j' _: u7 Q" k) _1 R) r( Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
2 n! v9 f6 k& Z9 g" g
( U/ \1 X4 @0 r" O2 B! C5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ x' J4 e2 Z& Ucan get you shot.8 y) Q0 L8 h8 r* W( G8 `$ Z. d

- R$ M- N$ D: n& _' ]# }4 l( d0 F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: n% s( N, A' I3 v, k
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, a+ F1 L# s/ d% g1 a3 b( s# X' W; b
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. o5 o2 G+ F: N8 y7 m& R1 `' n9 Q
more construction starts everyday.
) H0 L: \! ]+ D9 g- Y0 ]
# Q1 ^8 M1 V8 H* O5 K7 l  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# Z, m1 n$ G: @# C
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 V! _% H! a6 G+ V
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 l1 T  {! s0 {

9 ^) k: j* N  u4 }; `' T+ x8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 d5 e2 r: R2 othe same road.$ z) {  ]) F0 z1 k4 @
, \- i- F1 I+ S- b2 i2 s
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 y: B2 f6 W: I$ N) c* @shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 F0 U& S! S. @* {6 Y! E
activated."
, v% R; P2 j6 G3 B( _2 G& q9 G% a% s
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 P9 E" e3 T, x. S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
9 I' [2 r, P0 f0 \8 H: }accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.  z# a; N5 w+ @) j0 d1 D
, Q0 w4 S0 J0 r% G9 ~, Z8 C
11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 K" I9 g: g& L, S7 Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
8 F; @0 Z) v* P% }% Cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' W3 v5 d: ?! w' j) Avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

' Z. J- n1 z. p) a有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。2 a8 A: G; Y# e% D' B( w1 D8 h
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。; o8 K2 D, d! L
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
7 L7 m- Y: Q# b! M/ G( b( K% ?7 d1 e/ H3 H/ z, f) I+ O) V( y
此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 : t3 [- ?( v4 T) z. v+ M9 G) m

, ?# L; M8 f9 }5 b, q: B! d) ~ . W- e  p. C4 w$ @  v+ X( `% r

' }1 x/ z0 S0 @6 M[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
$ j6 _2 ]; _' {+ r% H  B朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。" i! e3 i$ ^6 `6 \' f( D4 a+ Z
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。$ w7 n0 r# W' H
...
5 s9 \3 R1 W: s1 M: I! `
8 r; s- r' W2 k" s
说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 * E+ R# X+ B% M5 {

+ \" R5 r% H6 |- a, f4 f
3 w9 H( _$ x% M9 o/ @( b) B 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

( M5 p. a( V, ?9 R! d& O: M" R( A7 `! f  z' O
这么刺痛你了吗?
) r8 p% h" b) H$ f. Q5 K# ] 0 e( I- t9 M7 L7 x- m
我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) n* P) s5 d! b4 B2 x, `# z2 Q2 ~& R8 f朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ _& w  f. B6 y- q; C8 r3 E9 t满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
; k$ _0 H: n$ [. L, C2 H4 T$ L ...

* Y7 |( s/ B5 c5 I) Y你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
5 c4 h; J+ X+ v+ ?0 k2 I$ C5 Z9 u9 C# Z/ l+ \- H/ h) @
再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.' r& u7 G6 b; P% D; r& Z, j' j5 Y
. H2 }( K% h- F; _) G
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-2-1 15:45 , Processed in 0.161037 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表