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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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% @) B% a* g& k: W# D6 U 1. Bring your own house., ?7 r( v6 f# w# E
, c# l6 f$ |, S* A) D8 L8 \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
* S" g9 f8 M: i2 Lhospital.
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$ _/ E2 {" ^ p. Y$ W* s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
. I/ ]' ~9 y$ d$ O) |capital of Canada .
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6 A$ {6 ]0 f$ n( f, M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% z. {, G8 J3 c: W$ M8 q
, c% r. u( c& |4 K' Y' Z 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# g7 \$ z7 |9 G4 Y2 z4 B* x
capital of Canada .3 c$ d8 c$ `/ i% \( C' I. }
/ v, @) E% g6 {# O# B 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ ^$ D' G* q o% Z; K8 m$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. e% T5 n6 V8 C# E# C q
# o- t4 z4 f3 V: z# a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- [- Z$ f$ m) d" A4 U& R
on a 15 year holiday ?- Z7 L! r; e f
4 j* R2 Y5 J* H 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ ~8 p5 w8 G( F7 e" s9 G- Vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& `/ r, q- V9 ` K) E8 N( p- t
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* a+ G6 R( l$ @; Z1 }1 ?6 Chere sick.
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0 v' r# J9 M- m4 m- ^# ]11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! d, p- B4 U0 w; N# H& G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 Q5 U6 _/ i* ^4 p4 B
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :# H$ _ c$ I( g+ v& c
+ \1 t9 J. K X, Q" a# G$ ^1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 h4 \, y p+ w- L+ R7 A. I& N3 {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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9 @% m$ Y3 S9 {) n3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 p& |; S5 G! m# Hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: g: g9 ~/ e* m: `. K
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- q5 H; {/ J8 [/ @# o q2 V i1 ]
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( H. r" G6 f; K% c
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 q) G3 C2 f% c! o
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 t1 `/ Q. n) s* ?
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 A; h1 ^- o* Z8 W3 }: a( Y
; Q" o" D' t2 d5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' Y% l+ r9 s) b# b7 G2 s- u0 Acan get you shot.' K! v# I# ?$ B9 b, |: [9 P
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! M- p i" r; H* N; g) w8 l5 \barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, h7 I7 e% g$ s! w5 ?day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ S1 b0 w7 |. {. Emore construction starts everyday.# u' n# E3 H( ]# d7 t! w0 L
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& h! K! i0 n" N; A. h8 u# Y/ L
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 c' n# r: j1 c2 D- j/ z2 \0 L, usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 `1 G5 w$ p* r- O
the same road.( @/ b; E `4 S9 k4 }" `) E
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 J" w8 R* d0 Q' K3 l- h3 o& x% Gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ U/ z& g! S0 l- u" u
activated."5 b' f( s! F3 G5 b
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km. m" l g. g7 j' M6 ~
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 [ x1 n. s. J" Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 V4 t' Y5 d; ~$ k: Z4 z# m8 a( P
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ A2 X$ P! y5 s2 ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 F. ], c M' K) b. }7 d8 v; ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' Q- J f: c$ }5 z2 X. ?, K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
