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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA3 m# a' E3 \) K& ?6 {) @6 ]
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% t+ M& a) Z2 C# x! N
hospital./ V: j$ {) b- D1 u4 q
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ J/ ]4 Z' b% }! D+ P# Ocapital of Canada .5 p1 n' J% n7 |/ _3 f8 N# o
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .( ^( h5 D7 _* g/ F" q
4 F- ^0 U6 `$ v. G T' k7 h; P 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" ~3 q. m0 _& h" q! a. t3 ?capital of Canada .
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. Q# f6 \: u% s) }2 u- V 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( G3 G/ i. U/ O8 S" r8 l$8.00/hour.3 r. E( j, M" _9 T3 t: [
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 r1 d @8 w- h# X0 E
5 Z F8 O K% F8 n; P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- }% N: t5 X9 s( D3 Z6 S( zon a 15 year holiday ?$ j4 r* q1 N, u- @5 u
/ u# t T& W9 w t 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 |6 M' [" k" |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 d6 _4 S: d- g! R5 `
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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/ `+ |0 j/ x' f" ^! |1 ]11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 G T) ]+ ~" u$ B- E
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; p4 f7 }1 ]8 Q( x
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+ Q8 G4 V7 }/ |4 v1 C0 Y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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3 u0 c- `( A- \$ H1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." Y3 V+ `5 @" C; e* ^# l J
! ?0 X3 a1 D% t8 r2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour% t7 Y! P, G( i' Y2 B% Q1 i& L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.6 m/ F( T& v; {
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ }% M3 b: U+ e' `5 ]. Yown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 n9 \' ^8 P& S& [/ Pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. k4 w/ ?3 k' k6 a; b
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ F! x8 o$ Q; {) e5 t% w3 t
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," I7 U) _/ p, D) q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that a5 l7 Z8 i- e/ R+ A4 @( s
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- J$ m8 ^+ v' d, U3 Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' D# j: h& N& K" l( Y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 m( N! y7 M- `1 S) \( R0 Kmore construction starts everyday.. {6 b: n8 V8 s
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# @ r7 G3 d; Y c& X* \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ ~/ J: p" L% u8 ~3 n$ {0 `squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." S P2 p) V1 v' R M# c( N
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all P- U& j# q' m9 m' D& h( y/ M# M
the same road.
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+ J4 S. c c! E% w6 `$ f9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: G2 M, b# P" h* x2 ?shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ ~, U% l8 b# @+ W& Z2 v) I
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" K5 h# L3 a9 I7 B! Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; V0 l) N3 \' {; Z1 taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 S1 U- h2 M/ E& `
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 ]9 B+ w/ }8 ]; S5 ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and K7 I! `4 [5 I. ^4 V4 q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ c8 V* i. }/ P% k( M+ [1 I. i- lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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