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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.9 R% c+ C0 V* T1 r
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# k8 R! _( A) }3 o( U" ~
capital of Canada .
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' t- Q/ y; h! j3 E8 ^1 Z! M9 H5 ~ Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 P7 f* |* @+ p) E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 N C Z. c. M F& w6 c
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 A* ^9 w' h! F6 E$8.00/hour.+ z2 A! l, y3 L% @* v( Y4 x( k
" v. D) h1 B. p# a3 z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 M* ^- t8 P& o/ g% I, P2 D7 o5 x4 b% f
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9 k4 N/ w! C. Z) ^; y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; e+ o, r5 R. b0 ?6 K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 v0 N( Q$ L. e( R M10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ ]3 Y" K; E1 I6 v+ chere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; t, o* k9 m' { |$ B1 n( u' g9 I2 A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 G& t. I: O0 f3 M: n* R w, j
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ K: X& B$ W( E- U
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 w! E: G) F5 [' m! ~
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 L& p- N; A( K3 X0 ^: m+ E$ [go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 K5 D4 `$ P9 b W- ^0 h, r# V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; \: t- c$ P8 ^: R1 j
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 i% N4 I0 G4 E* N
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& K7 A, [3 w2 W) U1 ucan get you shot.9 _0 |: s% m! t
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 e4 j0 N& B2 \barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 H, q4 t6 N, U- q) j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' a8 ]$ m- u. h
more construction starts everyday.7 W9 V( Q% ^ {0 }( \% M8 g8 l
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 I; F5 `' z7 f9 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 D( r/ Y0 g. usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) G; h: c5 O9 Q. j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ v @1 E* M |6 Q `* x2 }the same road. h* ?1 N5 v1 l" _ Q' D! x
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 H. D( z5 \: T- b4 b
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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5 r3 X# j9 g) C0 @' F' M10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" s+ y( t" \( E( V. \; Izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 M) c& c! d% M' {2 P) ]: v
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 n, B+ q- `% r W/ z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 m9 K5 x2 |, r) [% c8 O+ [: K
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ ^3 S9 w- ^8 e* Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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