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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA m6 `, P% v4 |# b( d/ L
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 E# X, R- d1 c& Y2 q5 F
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" d+ j0 ^5 _+ P& f6 X2 B7 H; ccapital of Canada .; p2 N# f; k% i Y1 r, b, N
8 S# c' e9 K# c& T2 W4 P0 n1 _, ?) w 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug2 H" d1 M3 J7 T3 J+ O1 \4 ]0 Y
capital of Canada ./ W/ y D" s0 z; {; |, `
0 U$ q5 F+ b, A1 H. T2 Z" N' q9 \ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 J$ e/ ?+ _- u: x- ?$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.7 [: k( z5 \3 S
8 C* N: o6 [9 r d b0 S0 [; U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 h `1 f P' ?% Z) ]on a 15 year holiday ?+ K- ]* A3 K' Q: j; r: P
6 @1 {+ g" w+ D5 @' A% h 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; C& n; I( f. ?) y5 ]3 T! l
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 g- n2 V2 V" S, z+ k2 q
+ N* ^( Y s' H; t# p9 N# u/ j* U6 I10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! i& `/ W4 c2 X: g( [& `
here sick.
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9 `$ h* S b4 \+ v/ x11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 o! |* [. x; g: v Myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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( m) r5 x/ R3 Y- K$ ~! M THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# A$ A0 I% S$ }" i) j
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& ^, D+ \0 U: P& ]$ |& J d% r
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 Q0 Y$ m! A, }: `8 d
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ m2 d7 T1 i( @7 g1 h+ V6 F F+ Hmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; q: f6 s6 R3 X2 \9 V2 Ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 H& Z! r& \! H. D1 b5 ~: E' ^/ R
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; a% }; c }: v ~5 e, m s
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
- e1 T0 O6 n$ A# V4 n0 I, }4 i+ R# E- ecan get you shot.
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4 z' S: S l. j8 J( q5 v/ Q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 Z4 ^- z# W# j8 T9 Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# K/ {3 K$ U* m8 J4 ~day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% W2 M+ i+ c! C
more construction starts everyday.
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- p5 T- R* }* ~% [, o 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- r. v* C7 [5 u Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
; U0 f2 _3 {/ W* P' T2 ~squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 ?* [6 G9 G$ l9 u0 L9 C6 ~
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' d; t5 v+ P1 Y% ]the same road.
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% b; b( ?1 s4 E- \8 p# |9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" o; M8 b4 `( h) C# h5 G6 l
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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7 _# n( E2 r3 t9 b/ O3 ?& M0 n10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; O" i$ y: Z( N0 F t
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% e" c% W0 C) F9 Z8 U5 saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ W0 q# g1 k- z5 ], x% g/ X11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- \- y1 E6 T* U3 v( ]6 v
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 O: f# ]+ m9 b8 Iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ W4 t( D* \3 H: |# u/ \9 D# s) yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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