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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1 Y& o( D6 v) \- C- @ 1. Bring your own house., r6 P( f5 X3 f: \
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 K: F7 X" \* R+ a2 n' N0 H; i! Ycapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 @) ~ g- A7 P9 A. z: J) r* g& T6 H+ w
1 z4 l" c# c/ Y& u) K 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- O0 y- ]) d5 L: C6 k9 ncapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! y5 Z8 d$ B6 u4 {
$8.00/hour.5 H3 d/ F9 ]) x% I& y, S
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 c6 h( N9 E' v8 f
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9 n) I% e0 i# W7 a9 r% v+ ^ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: v$ Z4 T# T( o* z( c$ f9 O6 sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ x# W- _; ]# _0 J- t# z" _1 w
: T1 z# i, T8 P8 o2 F10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come, H9 U2 e7 u. U2 x) Y' i
here sick.; m1 B7 b5 ]( Q5 Z- q
0 _4 |* X+ Z) P11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, h; Q$ G. x2 T6 o
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ t- \" f; |% z7 g+ [% D
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) V& G5 Z2 k2 J
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., C' m& M! A3 c% S" r- w k
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 C& W# E ?$ p0 u: l1 F" ]- a( cis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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' B: Y0 a. w4 S; K6 j% Q; [3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 j' w8 E5 t' H" C& V* h* Fown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( E6 K$ A! j- F5 C8 @
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 O" `; K2 k; Y5 Bgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: s/ t5 c* q5 P+ x7 [" sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 S8 a/ E' F5 f: l( j/ a
1 s- e' H$ t; }; |: v. I# \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,- Y% s& w$ E. ~9 f+ L4 I
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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1 D6 _' |; o% s7 `, o0 i* k5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( l" B# e% u' b! c# `5 M3 F0 b5 R& Ican get you shot.
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' ^1 l8 Z! f) l# u" k& G6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 L# B1 Z/ ]6 L5 N* {1 K; Z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 W! {$ y# g2 T0 ?* M/ _4 [: Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and! L# e( L- h2 a; r
more construction starts everyday.: v* G( g X! T' v
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 d+ J' G) \: V0 C* ]6 k/ W$ Sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 s- e/ [) q* @1 V9 Y. y9 Hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: J' m8 v/ Z8 R
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 w) ]% F9 `9 _" s5 Pshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally, ^6 _- M7 e8 O9 F/ }" w
activated."- E; C0 v, J! [; g
! X- x l, U# T! f) c5 S3 T4 }10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 U. B) l4 ], D7 N" _) i# f: c* _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
2 r: B: k, N s7 daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 @* g1 o5 \; g+ `$ M8 Q' n
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, f; }& G9 m$ |# X' glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and2 X: N! r" u0 n/ U0 o& x8 R" s8 H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
Z/ C/ Z0 p. p7 @virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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