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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; @* z& K- s! ~3 F
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 ?5 w: w0 o0 n6 l6 N$ `: U( `
capital of Canada .2 Q. i) P8 B f1 d2 o% A
( k V; `) Y$ i/ ?5 t% y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., y( V5 s4 J: Q4 [
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( B$ ^& o/ p7 m6 n. K1 B) T+ A5 d/ d
capital of Canada .
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' X9 e( ~/ u+ O8 k0 V q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! k8 e# ^7 |/ w$8.00/hour.4 P- _- R1 V7 k. ]2 S
; d2 _* H. J6 a4 r& k4 h 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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, B. G2 n! b# a7 R' Z* f O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 V7 r6 o+ X) R5 F& M: `
on a 15 year holiday ?/ U8 }! f; ~2 N: j
% z: ^& `/ J- U% D7 J: {( k 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas o7 U1 }; z2 s2 Z8 o
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 ?1 C- D$ n2 Y K W3 b+ L
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# C. y8 T# b }. y+ y+ G4 `
here sick.
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, }( c ]! e) w/ c, p11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, n( I$ A# i1 F
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. f+ X7 Q, y+ q+ J# C) S$ f; o
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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- r8 P1 z- ~5 N7 t3 _' c/ P9 }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. Q2 W) u U8 W7 k
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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' T/ h& R, \3 W7 K3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! M2 z! _+ _1 B' ~4 J: j
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) Z( I- o: m5 y6 U+ ~* n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; I0 ]. }! n+ O jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 a3 C4 i& X/ kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& C7 W9 n- ~/ y8 `; o5 V' d
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# d, {4 F; `, [' I: k* f2 r8 K6 `cussed out, and possibly shot.
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$ D- {+ r9 W }7 W `5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% [* O4 {. F+ Z7 F" N
can get you shot.8 W: [1 N1 F: m( M
* {2 p# Z, d1 F' s6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
% i! W6 O/ d, M! p- Gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 Q: {1 s9 Y7 u: T) J& x
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and8 ^! G' a) H0 X
more construction starts everyday.4 K! s m: }$ {9 `
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ @( i7 a4 |3 r1 j& W4 ~, s
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 v$ E- {1 |( V
the same road." H2 N) e/ M ^$ e p2 k
8 ]. E% y$ J7 G9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# P7 r* G1 z0 N- l7 _shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 p1 D+ Z' a& k6 p/ d, Y8 d
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"0 M6 n7 e5 L b8 g. u
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 h+ B8 ^' Y. t: j) n. z3 u
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! ` B9 X6 ]$ R) L" G
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( V/ H, d& v5 ]) ~* q& C3 L7 evirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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