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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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" @2 T/ d, f; k2 z9 g+ t 1. Bring your own house.
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# E! w' L }5 V& `7 B m 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- \3 d9 q9 q% i( W, r5 @
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 ]; P1 F- ]% b
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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+ ~$ {, e7 J! u7 h2 N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: k6 o% `0 |) v' L% c3 Y( c2 R' y) R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( k; y: u3 T( l, m: c. M; t! S: O' Pon a 15 year holiday ?
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. U; a, ]2 X& P$ I" e 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 f9 A5 G5 X# S$ r9 J: g
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ G" C6 d+ Q% R3 }
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come, G: `3 A6 w2 n* F2 \, s
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% t6 a4 C S- M4 B O2 [
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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0 f. @- O# Y/ N- V+ [! K( k) `& U5 j THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".: Y. R. n. g6 a6 r
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 [& S6 T/ f$ [0 ?
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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) X1 }) N2 H/ I9 u9 t3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; M: V& N8 Y. wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 e. \/ J6 o/ F1 s# p
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. X: H9 h. E, f8 Y1 ^
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 M+ S0 N+ M* L) N; S. lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 t( t8 s+ u/ W I4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 L3 \3 `7 O) ?- b4 X) Ecussed out, and possibly shot.1 h5 g6 C# ] `$ T
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# {+ C# l& C: U; X7 ~can get you shot.2 c7 p7 P1 a' f# c( j0 ~
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 [+ c2 O, ~% q. H4 ~) ^/ g/ }9 wbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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9 w8 S4 Q4 h2 N' lmore construction starts everyday.
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+ Q2 E; H, c- U# q- d- R 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ m% c q: B1 p' G5 B% m2 {# s
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' q* I4 J7 n4 k% `5 V( Qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all& T/ K( m1 c: }. p* ^
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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, F# T( V+ U6 y9 D# P10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 X, t6 H9 k" q3 y. V) S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ ^' {% f- I$ s' o2 }0 B4 H0 D
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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( M+ f2 m( y+ W# G7 ^1 d11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 W$ N% |& B0 S3 |9 R0 g+ D9 F( U! J
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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; Y+ W$ I+ T7 \, Q, yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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