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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; G9 z" B l' c! i2 Z: f
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and j& H* w* w1 ^# I5 W2 {
hospital.% t) k3 P& T" }8 ~: y! w
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% U1 ~' v5 Q6 E" \5 ]( Wcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. _( }: m; q- \7 `
capital of Canada ., J9 b% V9 z4 R1 J
* @: X7 V# ]0 l: a) K; ~4 l0 d 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ q! y4 x- b# R" M3 ]. R5 i$ t: D
$8.00/hour. A" h; o0 W- y) a
3 F! B. c& Y( @# `; a) j5 _ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour. c% S4 N7 M0 C% j$ K
5 @+ L8 Y+ d0 e+ Y# o* ` 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- f) O( b+ C3 Z6 C3 {* Ton a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
R% N* P& G# C! fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ I8 _' c, A( m7 D
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 f/ U9 D4 O; Q9 [/ F. tyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.* }$ D* x, x0 g4 D* d" v6 T2 Q! z, R
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( |. z$ A* B* Q! J3 H6 ~ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : P$ `1 ?. Q1 v- p6 H: P2 l
( w5 q# a; Z& x/ |1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 J# T5 `3 j" Y2 P/ Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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K# W$ l9 w* L# _0 M+ M" `3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 _0 W m* x5 @& x
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. I& M7 x" C, ~muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 {& ^: ^) p- P) w3 R- Tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# {/ k) o0 s4 M6 T& Z s0 c
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ } D% b1 ]. I. P4 n8 `# _
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% x! g3 [; ~) O7 h; \cussed out, and possibly shot.( G1 p9 g, o2 Q) |
% N+ W1 d' j( g) u R T. B5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 V+ y4 K- F6 E. ^! ucan get you shot.) C" M8 T. z, T
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ G. c; V. I/ ] A7 v/ H6 {% nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 Y% N: ]/ v4 U: V. h9 n# vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 \! r6 E2 \! ^- u; d, r3 `- ]0 zmore construction starts everyday.8 x7 C( ]2 i% h% N. o8 r! D! P
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) F1 A7 { E/ E3 r' |( rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,' k) d3 t" G# g0 O% i
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- Y% o, e5 x; I$ j) a' j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
' c3 c' D, G2 h8 P* b1 othe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 V* ^; H! ~, {: j; x+ G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 `% |8 d- I& a9 r3 u* l
activated."
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4 O' h5 m! m2 t; q, B10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) J6 Y6 J, y# \3 jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 \3 D( G# w) n8 n( n7 Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. N6 P* S% ^+ m, k
) j! i+ t8 S+ Z: ]; J* o9 D) k" Y- R11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) |, I( w. d7 P2 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 M. }$ j/ `0 R2 n$ N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( u- B. G0 J6 q1 o- D4 W; B* u
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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