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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house. ?' ^' Z/ `! _! L
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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* k; ~1 J2 @; M' i2 @! c 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder E) q* o$ d4 p" S$ M3 L2 I. m
capital of Canada .$ O( g7 N( {& N; G$ ^
' r) Y! Q# a: e# D- T 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 Z. F- c9 B8 ^% Q# I+ d
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" m/ t! C% z! y* `& p$ scapital of Canada .6 U9 P9 f& ]7 n6 Q
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ J+ T! A0 ~1 p n$ V8 R& l$8.00/hour.+ f& g. u& h/ y7 [" z. k
& ]: _! b& J% [% f* b' T, W 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 `6 |- H# W( l2 m
2 W9 a$ Y; S: W& O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 v4 }! ?: i8 w0 _
on a 15 year holiday ?% ]% Y# R* _; Z0 R
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% G4 Q2 w! I9 w2 C' M n- vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" J% s. u0 p. N
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' p8 O. b4 x0 l) e
here sick.. ]9 ?, ~0 ^; ^5 U3 g1 I5 I% R
( T) _: H0 H5 N0 }- s) b11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ m4 P+ [" F4 E- }4 L8 p- ]years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 Z5 W5 y8 d, P# D( ~
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% I) I+ d5 T$ R3 J8 a
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour4 [8 f1 y9 E" c$ n
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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6 W( [. |% {1 X% I8 Q& s& E$ k* }3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# }1 L1 A2 ^( I: G$ T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest4 S% f# @2 W2 a2 e$ d } K4 @4 ^; L
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ \0 c7 I5 x- g0 zgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell$ f- s& ]2 U8 [$ |- e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 z& ]' b. x. o3 a9 E
8 d D9 _, z) t& J6 U2 x) [4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& \ d g$ |7 u, A2 T
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 F% r3 H j' u$ dcan get you shot.
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& ?0 d4 C% n) ?! g- s. f7 e6 P) i6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour! y+ l7 Q1 m; `; P5 J( F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# A, w6 ]! W6 l* m0 Z. }8 F# c$ Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- B2 s4 |# B: Q& v* ^8 Lmore construction starts everyday.% i6 Y4 j1 Z, ?. o0 Y j+ G9 g
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 _, z$ g* J, x- Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ r) W( R* T' E, }2 Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) J* |. D2 t+ `; X" T
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 {6 a$ y) ?1 Z' j" a, p. X" m; `! \
the same road./ F5 B9 w5 Q% Y, V+ j) T$ r |
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! H' {2 [4 \+ V6 P. G: u J
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally a$ p8 N% m4 v& T* p- z
activated."- i5 i* e" @2 \* M, A$ e
5 m5 F2 Q4 h* p10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ ~0 M, {9 t4 S9 V
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 p1 W1 D( ] v) e2 caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' _- A4 A9 a( j( I+ S
7 F0 J7 j5 x U# l& `( {11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 j7 {4 @; U' s. glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* C: j1 _' I- p: E& ^
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ `1 c4 V7 d* n+ m0 F/ uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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