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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' B" j8 k6 c9 c) T7 M
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3 b0 N/ _! \' H! e U. o 1. Bring your own house.* O; E1 m( Z. s* M7 m/ O
8 r* e7 p( N; g5 G 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 s$ U' M+ p, ?1 l+ X
hospital.
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1 D+ x4 n+ [4 B, f0 [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 o/ u) s8 b% }' x, T# p9 l
capital of Canada .1 H4 e1 Q0 h7 d4 I# T; S7 h
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., W! ^/ }" Z6 i% [/ t
' }% H& {$ N. n4 z4 i 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* Q7 R4 t& b. p! @3 S* G
capital of Canada .& g/ [0 ~" Q+ L3 w9 @/ _
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 K& F+ S% R# r/ x& X, ]
$8.00/hour.
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p. \- g1 o8 v 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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( w. f/ C( U; R# T! b 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
; `+ q8 c8 }/ V, aon a 15 year holiday ?
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3 E+ O5 _" d/ X: [ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 p4 q5 J2 `* t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 x4 b3 g" x! v; G( s
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: ]1 r9 @- R" \2 C C
here sick.; C/ \) V2 ?, @4 I% P
& M) \; S% b1 L5 N1 [ x/ e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 u7 `9 J0 A, u cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# Z# n& j l+ L( K
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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& R: z$ ?: N" E9 C6 m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".: \" g7 T% K% T8 G/ X
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 C# O8 d+ L# m9 D
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.3 r% T- _; }$ f- U( H) [! t! c
3 x1 m1 O! U) @6 B: X3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
w5 ^& S2 [8 Lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ ]1 ~. \, H' X& e% Ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 w0 }4 |+ V% p! U: q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 N E. f) i0 I/ r
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& n. l# M( W4 @, Q* Y& @, H
& c) D7 W$ B1 ~5 [: a# j4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& J! g6 J; y" {$ q' V
cussed out, and possibly shot.4 L% m/ b* q- o- Y9 t
6 w6 }7 b+ j# d/ N k, A/ X1 [+ g+ _! C5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( D/ a7 F, k2 `( d0 L8 c& t4 ]
can get you shot.- f2 b# m. j% R$ C, o& S) P
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
0 W) t- `, g$ Ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# V4 D" T+ X' u L+ L" X& J9 ?& R( ?
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# i2 C( s3 L# W4 l t1 V' ]1 W! Pmore construction starts everyday.5 W' Q* `7 h' x5 q7 y" q
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 S2 q# U2 W2 H- Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' \* T% q6 K; y& @squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
1 P/ w* [# e% h r: g6 e# e, R7 S* @- rthe same road.4 d+ K. Q+ B6 S/ Y" x3 p3 a! X
! ?9 @' M$ @; n+ E* x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
B# V' d1 N# H# s: ^5 G' ~# ?shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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1 c0 H# c) |1 H4 x W5 |4 ~10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( U1 f3 C' }& u2 `8 g" M$ F" N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 M) C: r' ~3 f0 ?+ t. H6 Uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( X+ {; b% n' `7 ?0 _# ?
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 `* a+ ?7 A4 ~6 Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) H, G. X% t- H/ T. @$ A
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 Q& `7 b1 v+ R" f- X0 h/ evirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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