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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA K; w9 l1 _1 D( o
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1. Bring your own house.; }! |4 t8 L4 [/ y9 b* r
) W7 T3 y; ]: Z+ h7 S% R+ { _& ] 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. o, f& g: s# {: ?
hospital.
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$ O h& o$ L1 F- G4 q. c9 o$ p0 r 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 y4 F8 M* ?, x; X1 Z4 ]/ X2 z
capital of Canada ., T+ A+ l" l: I- B) x7 L; J
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 F/ k# K0 y: n/ S' o, h
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 q2 R+ S2 [- L7 ? Q
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" I# A) |4 ~. M$ K
$8.00/hour.
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" H: Z/ U' E2 l+ N0 c& N- |' N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& f) Y3 p$ t0 G7 i
% F2 |# h" E& U# u b N* Y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money9 u* T ]% @8 w# c
on a 15 year holiday ?) w, O# }. f: }' \, m+ L& `
% L" ]2 `6 n- Z0 E. [; O" y, X 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# o9 |# W& ^. P/ { e
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 l+ K' D& \! l3 V8 i
! Y; m( `3 T1 @; W5 i- V Q2 a10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
/ E& r6 \2 Y6 C! {+ @8 g jhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 i( L/ r* ~1 j; vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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5 L% \( T+ c; s+ o) \2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- A- z: t+ i; P v& A) H8 M, X8 d: C- Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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9 K- H- h8 C; ]+ W; d3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 W3 @9 o4 Z3 G
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% j! |8 k0 X+ y2 b# ?* A- Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ I( R v( c' z; q3 k* ~+ p
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) s' M! W/ i1 w
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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& H+ a" K: Q: V2 G) M, H1 B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. G# f' v7 Z$ j Y' V* ]6 D
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, E" c% O" a7 z2 k
can get you shot.9 D2 C; }) H" q8 w
6 K8 D/ s# X0 y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ K& X& `, t% L
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) G, Z5 a) j3 X- X/ M
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 z% J5 W3 p0 r* ?$ k0 |) h Tmore construction starts everyday.
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( V4 j. {3 \: ]# H! |0 E 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ v2 I8 H9 I1 g `( n! X3 g: ]. }; _) f
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' D; T2 v& t' b- c- L' }squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; \2 e5 l& l( l! S* @
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( A; _9 U; y, U4 J% Ithe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( E0 B* u& t5 l( l3 ^shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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+ u; f# ?3 u* Z/ A" q+ z4 m10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, {4 [/ d ]6 H; x% R, ~3 | |zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( [( `3 G4 W) L3 a- x: o' saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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, a# [4 t" e9 u+ k% v; }& c11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; m: n0 m- ]4 k0 f3 b# Ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and }0 {+ s2 T8 ]6 k! m
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is R0 O k) w- p
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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