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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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+ V" X4 {) Y1 d& h/ |# x# U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 p r+ W* Q" @# f$ N
hospital.
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% O8 r6 A. \+ _1 L8 p. ` 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) u V; C& v8 L. ]7 [
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" d- B6 R% G& S5 o6 M. @
capital of Canada .
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, J4 Z$ h0 z8 y) m 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ h* p( N0 ^; v9 M9 m7 X
$8.00/hour.
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/ \( x% w! N/ c* |! `0 y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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+ s: p& ]6 U) a0 J- B9 D 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: X2 K- G" @7 E! o1 |6 `/ U7 F
on a 15 year holiday ?
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; z9 A' \$ \/ z }0 {3 u 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# `8 Z$ s- P+ Y! F% {$ S6 Hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
% s, @1 h4 c" o$ r3 g( z! dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 y( F3 Y+ c z. O% w
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1 _: X) u$ b( n n; K3 ]1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 o h1 p! u, O0 H* L! [$ J; C2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" O s5 h0 v% [6 j7 y. n
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.6 x5 m5 w. y( H- ^1 B6 k' N$ ?% b; k
' L+ S% w) g2 ]) }9 H3 X3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! k6 A, _3 G5 [% Zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ Q6 ]/ ?$ h3 o5 ]5 \muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& D8 H2 {* H; d% M- j; ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 B: n( l( X% H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 m/ p! y0 e" q
% Y6 q# p1 C0 _/ {4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ s3 }9 \" @- H, _5 C# Hcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 d- i2 D. [2 Y5 O% `
can get you shot.6 k7 L1 L- t0 |& N
. \ Y7 s P$ V' N. u* p; q) a6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 q) f9 Q) X. C ^( Z$ ]; m
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 {9 ^! y; r y8 ?8 x/ ^. Aday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 R% M9 u% ?) ^/ q' W% z+ x1 `
more construction starts everyday.# M1 ^ \& V/ r4 y5 `; l2 v
5 k8 g1 z* D/ h$ Z4 E% U4 G 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 s: w' ~9 n# i4 Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ `! f+ @0 o$ D
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: K5 A H# z) k3 zthe same road.
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: l8 C7 j* D }$ Q( t9 z/ [8 u9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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1 k" e! j4 G8 a9 F. Z8 U10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km0 ?- ^) B+ l' s4 ^
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 I! o4 ^% W2 L* }2 P; ?) p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 o# m5 t# Q& y- Q& z5 m/ q. F11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" a3 ~+ f& ~4 u. y: ~
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. X+ V, e$ u, E
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 C5 F6 k8 t) V' r) `) t) n, O( wvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
