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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' y$ h. X( h0 }0 |0 q e- q
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! Z& g% q: C, P0 K$ w; \ 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
! ~5 }( x7 r5 ?* Thospital.: H I5 g% S: D
6 E/ ?: p; H, m1 k6 l; g0 i 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! w: l/ j; @4 N- m1 zcapital of Canada .
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' }& z/ l3 j) _. ^3 h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., t7 b7 k& R+ d
8 A* o! G& w$ l 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: c1 f& q$ C. ~capital of Canada .- J* \3 h- F [2 K& j
1 }/ M9 |* H9 t7 C9 I. E% ^) r+ D 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ p* |! W |( I3 Y, j+ C) C
$8.00/hour.
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: S& K: M) ~$ g! ]- v' h 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# W1 e% M, Z9 R
; p9 f ]/ {# p9 @( Q' C 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) x2 e" g( n/ B Ron a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 O% m- }- x& n3 c+ U0 x. kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 d/ |3 [' R- n) z/ e7 j$ Jyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; S; e) F; I8 }! M
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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/ t% M s; l7 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 O( L$ @& @: ~/ O2 w4 G0 V% o
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% S- D7 {7 K7 d9 e! }3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ p }9 _0 x. n. V$ R
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" o" ~6 P9 Z9 M9 k3 S9 Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ }9 Q6 L& X1 Z, y) n0 Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! a- t: u9 Y' T) x
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 e4 b' X" ?8 A# }
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 W+ I' S7 C( }% }4 Z
cussed out, and possibly shot. q* p/ L3 _& n
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ r, t! s3 I# y5 u
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ G, R# u: q/ j' Y" u2 ?! v4 ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: i% I. L# W6 G; T) G: Y9 C/ c" yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 B; ^! {5 }( k; k Ymore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ E, q3 M" e, @0 u
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. _7 x( W5 T* R
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 a2 k8 w! k1 K0 o4 T
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' a; N: a: C* {8 W! Sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
g8 [% H0 N$ E& i! o' q3 t* `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 c+ r" w$ k, E; Z! J2 Saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ e- _, t0 c8 _$ d: J
. e/ m2 ?8 [( P/ S11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 F' R% }7 L! b5 X: Glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and P/ |4 b, B. y, W- L3 D
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. _& l; v* C+ F- \/ a2 c" X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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