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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' z, {7 V# N- F$ e* b! Y6 G/ n
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% C: C# A6 H' T% \& i+ y 1. Bring your own house.
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* e0 t" P) ~9 z: g1 K d 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- T# c$ X$ u" g2 s" u) Q
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder; |1 X0 }% P0 Y4 q- {1 a
capital of Canada .; t' J7 V0 b2 u4 t3 y' h
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .' l3 c8 F0 N" J* P- j$ m7 C T
/ V8 v& W& L* ?2 d4 g% d u 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, { a: w( a' P: kcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is4 g- | K4 |) R- N) k. @1 G
$8.00/hour.( S0 F0 Q2 A9 T# X* p
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 n3 b; `& t0 ?- u4 \. A4 x: y& x3 E
on a 15 year holiday ?
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! P( M( l0 p: H( E7 R1 s 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, r+ f& o& v$ i8 f% j4 ~1 A9 y2 a" Q& Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! r5 C3 z- z' `
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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+ Z9 P6 g w: q3 k: W. m4 l11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" I2 i8 N' Q3 V, |8 I2 W
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. J! A" q! h9 O0 e: |8 X
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0 W+ V2 n: m; x3 a- n, C9 F$ | THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 g0 `! Z( V$ D+ I1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ k0 ]" }2 v/ d* ?. l
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
; C3 a# [6 Y. ~2 P+ V7 J6 Eis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- o* d) s$ k) K+ X- F7 P
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 p1 K5 z) ]( K' m7 I! L. q' z/ z" `
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# C1 w6 x! {$ V; Q. P9 \ Xgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 Q% e; j7 x& u$ d) N. o) ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ e, B( T* }, ~# `6 Y1 B/ R ^) O6 l$ l
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
E% V2 \$ d' s( o( Z: n6 \cussed out, and possibly shot.7 Y3 D1 i1 y) E. z* S" A
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ t: [+ C& ?4 I" _' K+ fcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) J9 Q% A; m$ Y; ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, I2 j0 b1 `7 Q8 lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and m* t3 M# j! L# {0 T; N- s
more construction starts everyday.3 Q, w6 t1 q( ^" q& V, [ ^/ R
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,( O. A2 S/ j: B7 m! \
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. B( O5 ^ {, ?6 J7 |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 D8 F! F o2 K" E, B% Othe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 E; `9 @+ B+ v2 k( M7 i
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally6 n4 ~1 a$ x7 P" P' E( ^
activated."4 ]* W; P" b% j7 O0 @8 Q) \
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km# q! u2 [# j+ A; q' x9 w
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", b3 A% f' s0 q4 b% z8 c5 F$ O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 H- r5 { B$ v- blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 ]% ]6 u4 \. b1 Rblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is; g, q2 e$ K0 L3 R+ ]9 @
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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