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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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6 m: j0 b& X: V7 Y& R h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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% z0 R9 e9 n/ |' q8 s0 j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder" d+ Y& E, |+ ]( ?
capital of Canada .
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! a1 f9 H6 K/ I/ |. @' n: B" {7 A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug7 Q5 p% R" y* n! k% v+ V( v! w+ R8 @/ z) d
capital of Canada .# u4 X2 j5 {7 Q8 r, c
' i. @: I" V* j; c! t 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 @3 r+ \6 ~' P- V& l$8.00/hour.( J8 D. n2 Q8 i) @
1 O) i% P9 f# \2 K# Q5 X* x 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ _" a, h) x6 K- u2 v* j4 ` Z
3 F+ A. O+ l8 ]3 e 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' Y0 w: T, Z0 a2 P' S) N
on a 15 year holiday ?( d( N7 \, S4 D' ^% T
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 C# Z5 ?+ \3 u$ _- \: Jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 ?7 {: D# {; `1 q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ o9 G4 i8 T% {5 u+ R' g. l" ^) r9 ]' B
here sick.6 A9 b9 Q: v U0 }
% k6 C3 |1 [6 H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; j: E+ C( z+ a3 Q4 J& o% syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ p0 F8 L6 |' v& R4 |
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :! @ K8 P4 @# z
; m7 l! |% b8 N) W ]+ Z2 i1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 V; v6 g1 f5 P" s; j& |4 h
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 {" r9 \7 _: `& r( | m$ }
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 M7 D2 a: z, I4 D- Y4 U' Z
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 s G, I6 j& ]8 a8 M4 l8 l% Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- l$ `: Q- A+ ~/ y) D( qmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ S+ F" ^ [: C8 O$ Dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) X Q2 Y# |2 s D0 L9 J/ B6 _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 [; J* `* g4 [9 U: B/ u, Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.2 I8 f; \! S( p) ~( A V: t: [. d
/ A8 f' t6 O! o, q3 X) @5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" C$ r1 r, d8 G% {5 s; z, U
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour4 ]: W% G/ b' r% N+ F# _# o
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; p8 y0 t+ h2 {5 }7 j/ C- _7 n7 D. ^
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 Y- m0 d& |" }* H
more construction starts everyday., h3 f* f) ?) A4 T2 L% n1 g
' ?1 u4 T3 N: { 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ y1 t8 |! u3 D T1 H! F" n
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 J7 Z* B" O; V. k' q+ _! Q8 b$ r" G
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 v' U7 {3 _0 |2 ]( _. L4 e8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 T* a+ f. ~9 D; ~
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! K& [, T, q" ~- ?+ K* }+ U; T4 ?- ?
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally7 c) x6 q! F0 l; O2 m+ y/ w
activated."/ K, z1 U1 W+ z! s8 B+ \
a" y0 I7 _8 `2 j! H5 J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ z; U' l5 ?) a6 n# {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 A: @: M3 c# L' K) y& r2 x4 Y
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* G# n" w" _8 ~ V9 T6 q/ I- k
* j# N2 I M; V- k$ v11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. h, n' }1 O$ v6 s; Nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) k$ `) v& Q1 T8 \
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ v. G/ ^/ D# b; {' Q: g1 N. o rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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