 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA& G& }- x( s9 A: O, \
( v [; M+ b" }4 Y9 d2 z1 Q* ]0 h
0 O3 E4 v& d0 c5 c$ T- Q 1. Bring your own house.
6 m1 }, D0 k6 R% e) B- D3 _; w0 F6 W# J9 E3 e N9 j, Z
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( H; d, [- K) \' S1 |
hospital.
8 h7 h6 Z; o" j- T3 x% I( L4 Q7 W5 V4 w# O- I
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder( X" |. H, L" C3 B$ h4 r
capital of Canada .
( A! v) L% t9 a: l( M7 m9 e2 w2 U+ p9 D4 x2 e2 @' t
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
( n7 F& [8 | h! f7 q T; \( v1 _8 C, X4 U4 T4 U
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug4 b8 e |# q' l+ j1 C! j
capital of Canada .4 ]2 T9 Z- I3 a! C5 R+ x
" }) @# o+ O. l. k8 v2 n 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% I3 m9 b7 T* ~2 b8 C O
$8.00/hour.
! t( B% k, i4 {& J$ P+ _" ^- f
9 t/ M# z) r- U 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 B2 ~3 e# x7 O2 @; t9 A4 b
' ]& ~# h. v3 @% B2 }# m# d
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 H8 E" Y4 J1 ]6 H: }on a 15 year holiday ?
! \5 }1 G, g9 R T9 @: b6 p, B
; K# w1 Y/ l; Q& h' h3 X 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ v# P* ]- _) Y0 Iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
3 D* e4 x; ^1 z
# }5 Y( v% k* D, }$ M& Y) n10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% V {, G$ q1 L, ~
here sick.
7 M0 W9 S- Y6 a( B9 R, B9 x' L2 F' ^& [0 x
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- O8 P2 G ]/ }" b# Y6 Q5 qyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
+ f: @: Z3 a. k! D& h' I% H; O0 ^$ \5 M! }+ t/ q3 H8 V
& `8 E. k: n6 W- |1 Q: u- l" K5 n" k0 I; r) o1 a
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
5 Z- a3 `9 ~; P
( C% ^% a9 u& |& }7 J. P6 b1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
4 p/ I) O% l: _5 j5 h7 q" Q, S7 Z" m/ Q+ ?1 _6 U
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 r- C* B. N `* H" H6 Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.6 r0 d$ k- |9 M8 J$ I% u+ D
1 ~$ M; ~" ] {/ v+ F. V
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its F' V( A; W0 z0 [* N3 K
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% y* f' h/ J) k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires7 S0 L! J! l3 w7 x, \; h
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 q- V+ Y8 d7 E* d( f2 Z( G
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% Z6 a) W$ F; U# n8 c1 S
{" c* ?1 H# ^
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 f. ^/ n1 @+ e' m8 v
cussed out, and possibly shot.
, X2 ~$ `9 a, g7 ?* K" \
2 j5 u- ?4 |3 Y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 I+ {! @' m+ m6 o1 O& n5 Ccan get you shot.' \8 T, a, a M& d0 l& _: ^1 J/ m
# E* k4 s d2 c# t
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 E( ^' d0 Q3 V" H, |5 @barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* T; j1 K0 M; V) u+ w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 B) w4 r( ~, O) Lmore construction starts everyday.
$ e3 z+ j0 y) W5 g: g. J7 G5 J8 ?/ f# @" Z
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- Y$ l9 E Q$ I: |deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* ]+ p }' q) ]! A8 m6 @
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9 ^( X5 @ r1 D( K
# Y2 X: _! \" q" f" P) t$ X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! q4 p2 D7 L3 W8 ?& b4 x- m, X
the same road./ K ^$ | j8 H8 G
3 z$ z, M1 b6 S! k5 Z- p
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) T7 h$ }7 f2 `3 w6 K. ?9 Qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally+ U4 o% q& q# R5 _2 \/ y9 q
activated."
C& X! W$ e8 F- [0 M
( R- I+ z U9 x D! @0 b$ E10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 u- Z: p* ~3 Z) I T2 l
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 L! m/ t* }" M6 O% P0 _3 o xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 O0 M0 k3 x! y; m! z; v
0 s5 a. l1 H2 B. m% c11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 `% ?+ w; a- s$ V3 z* A
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ L- g! }9 Q9 q P/ _- d9 j- [, H2 ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 W, _' U9 M9 B. I" E
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
7 K$ \5 A& }6 y6 l. d
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
