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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 c, V9 h! L: n8 }( w- Q9 |! [
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1 T7 o/ a& H7 k& {3 t, c 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder( D% b0 J3 E1 [) x3 U
capital of Canada .' P( P0 h- { h; H7 m% g9 L' ~# @9 @
/ A2 f5 W; l1 A& S% F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
D5 J5 \. o+ s |$ Q6 Hcapital of Canada .$ x- R0 M0 V+ ~' _
/ D5 D$ I: k( D8 ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is4 L5 p" s: n- c, u. K! c: f6 v
$8.00/hour.
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9 | ~# t8 t6 e/ v `( i/ t( X* S 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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6 {3 o5 S: B4 r* r- O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 ]4 }3 ~5 k. q+ S$ A. Aon a 15 year holiday ?6 B+ [% a2 Z/ S
2 n0 H6 \9 q, _! P( o 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& t. h+ O* P8 L( Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
! ]# T+ e8 r0 S1 x) xhere sick.
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: \: ^- ~9 P; O7 q* {11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- s$ G0 n8 v7 D/ L2 Y# ~' o0 H
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 O6 P; G7 p @. t/ f2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" N: O4 T& C, D7 Z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) }0 x4 e" T" L% K- \% A
5 J" S |- V6 k# S) w* |/ z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 G5 ~* Z5 i4 E0 \* D2 G$ T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" I+ b8 W/ B$ X% ]" ?0 q# L$ Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) Z: h/ M, N4 [ ?& e
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- V* n( }( D' S! \+ v+ n7 q2 Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; m* w' h [' a, ~, {
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 f" X4 e9 P2 {2 F! I- c7 lcussed out, and possibly shot.' ~ o" b- v" }$ x
. f0 U6 d) _; \8 o9 e. f5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 D$ W0 }3 u/ i9 d$ w$ F* B
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 T5 N! Y8 g: e* e" D( A% _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' M4 U) W5 D& l- [- S3 R$ d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# E6 M: ]9 a3 B0 d6 amore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats," ]8 S) ~5 W. f( v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,4 H( ^2 b, {9 w! Q. g! g* O. _9 g
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% p; A) ~% m$ ?: i* X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- a, [% b& b) Y$ ]& `' \9 {the same road.
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, G# I% L/ C% R/ @! Q/ h+ Q1 Y e9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" K6 ^ K, G# bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( d, | O0 H" Z& U0 K( u
activated."9 y) ]: Z) c% P
6 n# Y7 t$ C: S* Q$ G10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 {; k( z. _- ~. kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* h8 m$ W$ V# D% d3 aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ n$ L Z _4 E% k( k! g8 d* Vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
8 F+ u$ R- W- |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! O1 g/ A/ L3 o7 g2 h9 e& Z$ Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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