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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% l; W4 ?5 _# m
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1. Bring your own house.$ s7 A9 q& Z+ B% U5 p6 V3 \ z) a. g
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
" M) H% O# c9 x h( z3 Shospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
N8 z/ A) H) D3 n& Y- h! Ecapital of Canada .
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+ |3 r5 k' \: x; _1 |& N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* N% A! j$ p0 O$ R8 E5 T. g( o
; t5 Z, ^/ n5 C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 {3 }# y8 x, u( n$ ?' ecapital of Canada .5 ^. f8 ]" |7 M* S L) }
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& Q% |; w4 @! N- Y
$8.00/hour.
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' y+ s: a' `2 ~% y! U/ Y+ N$ w 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% ^" D$ P* y( \" h4 b
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
0 O: T0 d; h; `2 I/ E* B$ B9 s, ?on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 S) H: u0 G' |# r: |$ ^9 J" ~" @
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) j" D3 \0 B# Y$ b
% L- X6 t: z+ D- t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* W4 _+ j6 K/ V! {1 x% fhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' o7 g) h, v& |8 X' p2 e/ x$ Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : ~ ~1 n* t: E0 d4 O
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! z4 }7 g* k% T: y' ^6 S: l
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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# b) n( U& ?! V0 l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( y2 ]# r: g2 X/ j3 f' u Z* p* j
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, T$ G/ {) X' j* V5 A' t
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 H/ `3 K2 `2 {" Kgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell J; @$ z( O' \2 M9 D
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, o5 j* ~" B# B- Ncussed out, and possibly shot.$ y' u E' o- s( Q1 O I
6 \: e) U% q! }* E4 e* p/ t5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
4 [4 Z9 a7 V, y4 K, J% q/ ^can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" b- C) D$ T, {8 Y% Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" y5 p0 |) S( R# Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ J: f0 `) |( Y. s
more construction starts everyday.
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; m2 V% L% d) z: p6 d1 M9 x 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% K5 s c& b7 V: b2 Rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# u1 [; h9 D( i1 Q/ \. tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
" K* P# j* T, m8 l" D( r! h3 qthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 }" e( ?) F; t: G$ T& L3 L3 Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 A* m! U2 D1 x7 ?1 f O
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% {, u- F' z, v' O) j# f% i* olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ X/ v& K( z ^* q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% e. {6 t% P1 b; Q7 E0 dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
