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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: i7 L6 |3 d* `9 f
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) F9 U( O) D* |* [& V9 Z 1. Bring your own house." t6 Z& V; h/ b, z! D1 \+ L
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ }2 O7 j1 p: }- t
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- f9 C& p+ `; y! h4 C0 _4 ?capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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; |6 h: b- Z, s5 q. F: b( ~# Y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. b/ ]4 e# |5 k! ~. s: s8 F Q4 u
capital of Canada .- x/ Q3 u% l: e% r Z
# W" \% m1 j% { k! M. p `. e+ E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; Y2 l- T" s, s6 h+ J! A3 G" g) P$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." K6 ~1 w+ b2 I8 z
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" [: y7 a+ @* F5 ?4 l; ^' W/ fon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( _2 O/ W8 Q% w. A( kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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: D$ K2 u0 @2 l: Q+ z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
! V9 Y; L4 D* ^8 ~5 {/ ^7 bhere sick.8 ~& N. |8 N7 @1 Y4 k2 R
T* D- I% A+ t; ?- x11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' n* u5 h! g, i1 K; N- xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( ?8 |7 ~- h# A8 @+ u8 f
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : ~/ Q$ P7 o$ ]8 j9 J- ?2 d$ f
+ |& K9 B. s. D/ W7 `9 _+ v7 a1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 J. W9 q. L7 d
" C3 D/ l& D% s5 D$ M2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
$ a" z9 T' ]$ e( his from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ [7 v; ~; l( y9 m# d( }" z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: u: B( d. V4 g2 k V) ]+ bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. }+ f& W# X0 [% F" a$ }9 {4 l) xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 E! P* ]5 V/ v' D p0 X, |go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 Z$ t* K2 f7 P7 O, e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 ?* B" n) {3 @* y* I) e; o* B% S
cussed out, and possibly shot.0 M6 h7 B. T, K% ?$ |) H
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 }/ }7 i8 D) e6 I' Tcan get you shot.1 C6 N/ | ^. N2 }( H
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% M8 p9 k R, x$ X
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& u( e5 v- W% v3 Q- @4 [
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ q4 a( [: T) j4 m5 ~% ^% v/ Pmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# X. ?% W8 H. h4 H
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 q8 e5 I' i J5 o6 S4 R! L gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 U# C" h* L0 V2 D1 d# P; _
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 m" K: Y1 |0 |) w* W& \- m8 D! bthe same road.' F3 }% s8 ^8 u6 E: e
( D/ h* U7 f! @8 y5 v" R9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 {% T4 e6 p' N4 Sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& n' G$ E0 N8 M# W( X; v( [
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: w; L2 t, G& `1 I
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ |& D$ ~8 z+ S3 G! Gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 x7 Z. ^# e1 p: X8 w" `
' T! X+ f9 a8 \! `: f Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- ?/ P+ p. _0 y0 h! Q: [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* b' L6 a4 F) I2 n* \
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 ]; y5 J" F# r7 a b
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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