 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
3 H( b" L. N+ T% u2 z5 `: k1 k+ V
7 Q* o# r) P+ @1 P" R8 L/ e8 V* p
% V$ g$ C; ]5 z+ Y8 ~* X 1. Bring your own house.
& A% C' g7 f, Q8 [6 H" R# X. A/ P2 p# O5 M2 @
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
8 F5 K9 ^+ Y/ Ihospital.% Q1 r& e+ `) {+ l2 Q( t1 j
6 G( x" Y. T2 C9 T- d. l 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 h5 o2 f" d% j
capital of Canada .6 R9 K$ }1 M9 ?5 X6 h/ ?$ h% r
1 A- m: B" y; d, F 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
; C1 W' C: z4 q7 x7 U
$ s( y: B3 v6 ^+ [, _, ^; U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 ^! e. V0 k- Hcapital of Canada .0 G; Y' Z/ A! n2 w) s: b
" m6 a0 R% `$ Y( n, c3 I 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
' ^3 i; [/ j& ` |2 K$8.00/hour.6 R. k* j% c6 ]6 v# g
( G1 u/ f! m/ K& A
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
7 g: m: y1 ~ Y7 E. Y7 w* |. A. Q, i4 N& B* r( m
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- c/ ?. j: V; w1 mon a 15 year holiday ?, z" @( q8 `3 w Z8 r2 K
# s9 p; H ?5 d$ i% u6 Z( E, P 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; Q# l4 S4 s5 ?- o e3 j: V: sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), |9 `! Q9 |3 ]6 q7 ]
z, h) ^1 N9 D2 V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' z& u" A, K3 G1 {, y' where sick.7 w. K) v4 e5 Y: u: w
: q0 a2 d; O8 d" g4 d" ]
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 }+ E; l! L5 P) w, Cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. G2 v1 |3 I. z3 J2 @+ i, i/ M# x
5 k# L' m3 b7 G( N
+ U* s' D( M+ N( q" E4 q+ p& \) Q6 f) A- p0 C
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
- |6 \7 O- Y- ~6 ?9 \$ C
1 ~# X, X% _$ q6 W1 u/ C5 ~1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
) ~" J+ q5 S( v! t+ h: v0 `/ X [; `. G) N$ k: C' s
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 A4 U+ ]& m7 h* ]6 I9 P
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." L" p, {/ @5 {/ n! b
* Q M, P( b' K8 q
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its ?* z2 t( ~- l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ o2 E9 {# _% u5 v+ x+ kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 @ F5 |- j! S t- f
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
& u+ E* ~0 K1 G. Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 _* R" b) v' x. _/ i: n, |
5 J X `5 {- r) P* U9 r x/ _
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: E4 s8 v9 l7 [5 k; [
cussed out, and possibly shot.
2 u/ w2 ]7 o* H; r$ n/ ?* p- e" V5 X8 x! t5 v, W' K7 |
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
/ S' Q: c) H0 _5 qcan get you shot. y. ~1 R. n, B. g( O
8 T* F) o2 I% S8 A" B J6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' T9 u, Q: B+ Z- [) ~! Z$ vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 y% @% i8 ~6 x# rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' _2 G- v$ n# o: @+ |
more construction starts everyday.' i2 ~2 d3 ^- Q# R
8 z' B( u1 Z6 K( w- j- S
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 u! n+ P$ w( b E9 j: i/ [ \
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 {5 D$ P# u1 c/ |0 O' a4 m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
; `" O5 Q. F7 y: s# a% |$ u0 J+ C% P, o6 r3 Y
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all7 p% K% I; U1 m; Y" B
the same road.
. ]' e$ Q0 \: P- c* P8 D! j2 r: p* f7 A1 X3 ?; n% C
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" S7 U2 k' }3 }6 E. ^shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
9 `3 ]9 S5 k6 }& _' \" {$ }5 @activated."7 b: @0 R6 h* ^, i% I
# @8 Q3 f# C. `. ?. \/ I* d10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" D, i9 b" q0 S1 ?
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"! d/ U% p: A W9 U
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
% n. j+ ]3 L1 ~2 J2 ~# n
3 W/ B. d) Y, u! B11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 }5 x: A, u- W8 k+ }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) o: c- a; b3 ]" C. G$ A1 s) Yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 `( A2 S! \/ i9 A& S
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
( ^. U5 a' @% A t
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
9 c c' ] L+ W \! u& R
