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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA! X3 w E) B3 |! J) m6 ^8 w0 ~
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! b: W! K. W) G) J0 _+ E 1. Bring your own house.
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- ]6 A: u# C2 J/ `0 Y+ o 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! z3 D. Y/ S* F. i5 k7 ?% |
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 O# H* K' Y5 f: Ecapital of Canada ., F& \- n5 E' h* |% Y# m
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& y& \& V6 k) `6 L u+ H+ y4 ~6 d$ t
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( G( x; S* v5 i5 \5 h& A7 ?
capital of Canada .4 X/ z2 @6 q& ], f* A
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ T9 @5 {: \* Z. o9 \. T r% d$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 |( E- c; |9 c6 w1 M
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! t) A' l5 x0 Q: p- U
on a 15 year holiday ?" C# n* N9 S0 Y) ^7 A
- C }0 U2 n8 p" F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas9 I2 j1 x |/ V
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% e3 I4 A. _' S3 a& E
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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: I, V: J# C! Y1 v, v4 K11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 U& j8 c- [" O. myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 k4 K$ g$ X1 S+ U
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, |. L y* i, Y0 i) w. f4 G THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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! [! K: ~! N, ^ X# s. V9 N8 u1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 E) l" b, ?) _+ s6 m# g- F" C
" j' c6 W7 N" Z" c6 L$ J J4 \, i2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 H4 v+ u( \' Q+ K2 r: [) U vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 S7 u4 f$ |: ]! T' N/ z
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ V3 K2 T% R$ J* u+ z3 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& s0 ~" j, o4 `6 I
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, I- b. H" D, U& e
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: J$ E' F- P F+ d
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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# a1 E/ f: } K) C& I. u, S' C4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ U" Z1 m: `# p- H7 A% Pcussed out, and possibly shot.! p. W, t6 f8 Q0 j+ k4 U, p" U$ C. w R
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that _; X# ~) Q( g! @! Y2 ]
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. X* w7 n; E. o' [8 tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) `* Z) }4 {# w) ]
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 g6 H9 |* G8 b" b/ b+ G! O+ y7 nmore construction starts everyday.
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" k! X" B/ q- H1 X j3 b 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 I M z, D& t0 l" K7 Ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: P" n; U2 v6 W$ Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( J6 k+ c) o, w- T4 f4 q: T
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: h' m9 R( a+ F0 e! d+ K' pthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* |, K ?( \$ P1 u8 `+ e
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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3 M5 z( Q3 ]" o* B2 u8 p4 }% A10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( S( @' O% o( F" E
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
" O: ]& ^, C1 ?1 `accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' W, w' Z2 e# r" [+ b/ G# X* P
, W A+ h0 g6 B, U11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, O! @1 m' [! plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; p' K; p8 o! s, ^& O' S* X& n5 Cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( u6 p8 j& n1 ~9 t4 X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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