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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; k5 e! v7 D% u+ Y; `7 E* g/ D" N" C, Z
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1. Bring your own house.
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2 k7 X+ ~- { Q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 B& ~' F. D/ O0 ~: v# R9 k
hospital.4 o( v+ ~8 Q/ m! N0 j# w, v
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) `1 P: ]' E, C6 |
capital of Canada .; s( a6 u; `5 J M" [( j2 w
+ [4 x8 U+ M1 _0 G4 H9 a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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- h5 h$ r( K5 t2 \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: w: R8 ?2 d# w. ~# k. X& [
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 H7 A- U }+ K, G$8.00/hour., e3 L, J4 p; U: L- X7 v$ k
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 T1 \4 c7 k+ h1 j% K
on a 15 year holiday ?) B/ w& `# I5 m0 i: Z# z
. [2 Y/ |+ x2 L% ~8 u9 q5 l3 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 ~/ m$ P& @( Q2 C x0 z( o, m' d* lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; t4 t% ~4 {: a& V2 _6 e) dhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: t, @, y8 U7 N" \* H y, ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." g9 j* v) ]+ W6 n* m/ M5 m8 l# a
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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\# I4 ]/ O# N7 O* _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' c" f5 F% n! M. p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." { l. @) E5 _
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
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muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires5 M( q3 i F5 x/ p# S
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% @0 j, i4 U( l( f7 a$ F' N/ hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( B9 z5 B& s6 x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& l' M3 G- J+ Z: {
cussed out, and possibly shot., f' L; n2 @8 j; L
7 Z! a$ ~& E% e: y% ]) m2 @ L h7 O5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 C* X3 q+ p! M. F" Kcan get you shot.
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# S, R, C9 \) t- a6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 C! k6 u5 V! C% t
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ q C- n8 ^; n/ t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; p- ]0 T- k9 h- gmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! }$ q, {" y9 C& U/ u( C% {! p0 Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, _& }4 O H2 v# h) v3 Esquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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j! n2 _) v6 }! a8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" o! @, C. h2 Q0 E
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ @3 Q# K% L5 g! H6 U" Z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( [5 q+ O l% ]! ~
activated."9 a+ ^; d7 h7 v, q6 `
- ]/ U% C1 }, |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 f6 O$ S! y# x. `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 d7 d, G6 R: d3 d% E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# E0 l9 M! d8 A0 L4 k
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ g* |" g5 M( `, z% C1 {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 g& Y- W# w# X7 iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 F! `, I( e/ u. ]+ c! f' S( Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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