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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" ]- e0 M0 ?% i2 C; n
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1. Bring your own house.% J6 P& Y0 Q5 m7 @5 q- d9 v( q: ]
& ?% P" i q: W, x& M# P 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
. C3 P6 f% L6 n/ e( G& Jhospital.7 f9 { ~8 G1 `3 u+ s
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 H7 y& l, ~9 O0 V" r5 Ucapital of Canada .
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@) w. e# ]& K+ G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 Q" ~& B& L/ p! X
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, e2 N6 u9 e. {capital of Canada .$ a; h( ?' \2 D7 x3 `$ l6 r
- {7 x! p# z$ g3 W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* @7 k* n. F2 k# q. W: H( _
$8.00/hour.' Y, z Y; j; |9 f
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# K: I" Q3 g( H9 H b1 C% X# P
6 p ?+ c- N4 C. I( c5 A 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) D& I9 B2 b/ f6 q' h* c3 Non a 15 year holiday ?/ ` F, l# Z1 p- [( C2 m! G
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas: X! ] S$ [' O, u( O
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 s* f# r4 c0 w% a+ K. }! {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 {& l8 U9 n$ s c) o+ ?( u# [
here sick.8 o" R- I0 `- ]$ q2 ?
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 E) b$ B5 O$ F3 ?' Y' B# x' Iyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; O; V( |/ _# o5 ~9 _ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 K* W; o) @" i! \. l# a- `5 ]
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 W& ^# q# c8 X
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ [% \9 ]6 B1 P) M6 J6 ], f$ j5 e9 L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; ?: s* E1 g- W, ]( N6 X
6 R1 Y* U* {% H) W3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
V! ` r/ `$ K" B) xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 k& c* U5 A8 a4 a. |+ x
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 q& y3 W/ L4 I; o5 a' L# G* Jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 z8 p# U* N# O5 |- d( `% s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' U5 N' K. @5 _1 [
) H4 e: k6 t5 `* h l$ r9 Z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: q8 n- [$ o( D# [cussed out, and possibly shot.
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. a9 ]( g# ^1 h7 k; i4 |5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' y$ g" ~- q% A# q Kcan get you shot.6 t2 q: b7 ]/ o7 Q/ k3 `- p* m. F
8 a e2 q# g+ C6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. e, z {5 ~9 Q H
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 ?3 v8 _2 s* A$ `
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 ?' l4 H" O3 e; imore construction starts everyday.3 j, n L, e; y6 y6 b9 R N
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# v. D/ h; U2 M, ^: K9 ]8 ^& j$ g( k
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& r2 h7 s2 u O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ t+ g2 C6 ]- ~+ T0 O1 ?
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 o& _. [1 U+ W2 v/ rthe same road.# P; i0 I1 s, u4 S+ D9 \/ m9 e2 n
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 h# |, v" s3 ~* p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
1 R3 |6 r/ z+ J1 H9 A3 s9 V$ `activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* g$ j- |: `4 s% K1 i; E, F% Dzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 k5 `7 v. f, ]0 b# f5 ?accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 w; I1 ^8 |3 D* W8 b# f2 C7 M( @" elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ V; A+ ?+ ]/ u7 a- S9 Q+ l' `
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is1 I0 @$ y# ?( n; h: ?6 _
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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