 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
7 m1 u1 w) \7 l4 F, I1 [- Y+ Z2 V, |$ f7 L6 z+ X* _
1 r- U: p# u* ~- q. Q( m' x7 T% ~' H
1. Bring your own house.
/ Y& \( ` Q, R$ i* u% y
# h5 B. H {9 T1 @5 Y/ r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
) u7 i& M7 V% p$ e; \; Q% {hospital.
' f2 N$ t T2 a( `6 k
: i K) |% h, H+ S" |, ] 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 ]! O: e; _. {, w. |) z
capital of Canada .
* ?+ Q. h# f. J
- S& Q6 V0 h1 K% ^1 } 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
2 j4 ^( v% E/ S0 k( g+ N6 X" E! y
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( b8 U8 z1 U( R m6 _5 tcapital of Canada .
7 p: B5 {! h, b0 ~; u! g/ V$ @$ N( h" x- ]% v u7 Y& R a; b Z
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 c/ J( c8 X+ H# D# S' ?$8.00/hour.* u/ L! s$ Z$ Q- }+ _2 F
6 q8 \. d; D+ L4 u) o* `* c 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
* q( o9 n; m3 C V; H3 p8 B
- m) I A% D% }) M% _' o" f- R. @3 W& f 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ k0 b8 O0 O" K4 h6 `% u+ I
on a 15 year holiday ?- h( F+ O$ h/ t: Z' P9 A
! Y$ f0 ?( u$ \
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 t% e- L' B6 W) S
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
/ ^4 z5 K* x9 z# z
/ u7 ]! p$ o2 ~8 X7 v+ K" |! B10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, z- i' x- W% d& k5 Ahere sick.& ~; Y8 r/ W# v
0 N/ r5 V5 R. U$ \) P, F( e/ |11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 q! s, u! t8 Y; U$ C
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
J3 J& o5 }* c" O, q6 l5 B3 X3 ?1 d# o% ^: x
) d" I+ O# h$ W# b' D
$ H5 Y2 K- I7 \8 b' P THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ ^5 n3 Q; M/ w% V4 N
: U& _5 W8 s& f# K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
6 z' F: }1 J0 I& r2 \1 x6 d. {
/ Y `7 Y" [/ I- W0 }3 j* [% S2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour& E0 L& f/ b h- X7 G7 \+ l, p5 |
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
& ?' R. b n5 Z4 R/ h9 }' T. H) C& |( U1 Z: b
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its$ D! L- O8 D# o0 v: \# m* }
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* C9 ~1 L& d" C0 Omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! V! @7 x7 C' |9 K. Q2 w
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% w& Y8 Y n4 i' C: G y1 C
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
' Y- l% L" o: G* V/ A8 g8 ^6 I/ @0 f$ y+ P) m; B$ [& e+ S
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! R# P$ a! j P3 z" a& ^9 B4 hcussed out, and possibly shot.
# @" Y& o# ^. K2 z9 t' d* U# ~: I
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
" ^2 R$ K' C8 L* M+ x1 Jcan get you shot.* C* K+ k d% ~; z
6 Y1 N/ }9 Y, l7 }/ @6 A6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
~. t. E# x9 d& A! }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- A/ H% a6 U* p' X" r6 F7 g
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and+ ]" K1 [- Z6 b! v5 p' o
more construction starts everyday.
; ]$ v+ e: E5 I0 @' \- Y4 U+ l2 y/ a2 T& S' E" g
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) t* c2 R3 |# C2 rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* W. @2 r, u8 B5 Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. y& D, P: a a' |$ G
8 {2 ~' t7 n {7 M
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, Y; L4 M( @6 `: W4 {7 O$ r) d8 C
the same road.
, m& l$ y0 g. N: r/ ~
# N, n1 i0 `! W1 W2 {9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 k+ n N3 |- `( d# Hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
9 v9 z! h9 B0 o! G- [activated."
4 j$ |2 A+ M) q0 V' l* [# \, h
8 h- z: r5 C) I2 Y7 K r10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 z: k, i1 _5 L( L6 c- H! v
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 \! E$ f. m. g8 o5 p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 C6 e9 E4 g% j/ ^3 J/ i T3 |4 L
) G/ I0 R1 x2 y6 j% n11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. _% J% o! n" [5 ?. B' T* F, Clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 o: J/ j) d+ ?, A3 y; ^/ nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' Z, F- r ?, L) q2 B* vvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
* i" J" s! ~) T: Z
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
* s# S4 @. |- O( h& \+ q: X/ k
