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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.+ h: R# J6 W, S* o! _, A
5 U. a# x& o# ]) d; y7 Z! R 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- o( v/ N0 L( d/ I, \* a3 E
hospital.5 z* D( T; W+ p' A$ ?
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! l2 V/ `# W$ pcapital of Canada .
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& U0 m. l# I3 B 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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+ u0 M& t* u( }/ B 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug f! R) L$ q* i7 n5 g
capital of Canada .* E. K% u4 I8 g! |9 d7 |
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ ^5 d8 c1 P, }* U& S+ L2 j* N& X$8.00/hour.7 q4 h( n q! ~ P$ m
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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: Q6 C/ h! n8 c R4 y+ G( ` 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ I: `& _, L) K$ H- W; Q1 oon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 [4 u7 d" y/ fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 C! y% s9 c$ g. f) O& G( r
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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4 E! ]. F7 n9 @/ }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; r4 O% ~0 Z& T5 ] U) w8 M$ D
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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0 g- T# s3 r6 j3 V0 \6 k& x THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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4 `% I* m& I( U# s- P/ |4 N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# n$ F+ O6 q, f: P8 O( E3 }! f
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 |% x! y' Q& f6 p+ r' X, N
w; Y% @" @! W$ g3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) m( f' Q0 ]7 v* M; ~! R- y; z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 G' \9 m! ]3 [
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 h. T9 b0 e4 Ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
' z E+ g. s4 Y0 w3 Bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.# a) X7 R) S& y8 q
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! N; O& x+ {: ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
C7 `0 v0 E( I# h' i) Scan get you shot.
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2 e. p$ R, v- n! B3 _ ^* k6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
|- ?' e6 B- j5 A9 ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 q" w! T$ B8 \6 |
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
' c4 k7 L" c2 w1 Pmore construction starts everyday.3 g3 |9 k6 P) c- Z# ]
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
7 L9 l7 m1 u. k. `* Z, A8 T tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* B9 ~: ~) f; N! K( g
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( l. m& x( m- g" G. k# h
the same road.2 o v- _& e, ]* y6 V6 {. M
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# J3 j+ N- I/ |7 n% rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# R# j( D/ \1 |6 V$ |1 V
activated."/ C# d/ Z0 p( K3 s& x0 w1 f! l C
) G8 k- w A' ~3 b$ ~) ` N+ {10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; a) E3 ?2 `7 x. b+ N" G3 n
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"' ?; s& |) L+ {' F
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; o% D* Z1 E! g4 V/ L7 K: ?, S
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& i& q# R0 _: b# M6 q) b Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& U. l$ Y" z( U9 R! N0 }7 @* {blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% B! p; t$ O* ]+ B4 E8 jvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
