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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA9 t# \+ x* q- m) L" \

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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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% O2 n9 j9 o. |) s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ l7 \6 W' d0 w" h, n
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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! _( J% c) `4 Y( I0 M( ^ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 w- i! w; D' F6 e! v) G/ O  a: F/ o
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 K  p' F! M. k
$8.00/hour." @9 }2 X9 `+ I$ _9 x9 f; {7 ?

1 T0 e: I; K* L 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 ~3 h" o6 p0 R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! f- [9 z, v, c! Y$ }) w8 ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 }8 v: b- w' {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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4 k- `+ s. I$ s! Y( r2 d2 r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 O6 x% _; u4 C: F; i0 c. N7 @! N
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# p  c/ g" c7 k2 w' i/ ^) e& w
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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. z& L! }, g5 N6 r/ d1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- z$ D' Q, M) @/ O3 B; W

9 J; G: m" ]' |2 h2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 A) P4 W! Z7 z" v- Lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% u; X5 D+ v1 m6 t

. H9 ]: \4 K5 Y, o1 _8 C& i- N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) d3 T2 d% m, _* c( Gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ F7 L, f2 @- T; F' s" Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 P5 _0 b, z0 Z" E) [8 q  ^6 ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( |: \- z3 A5 _4 v5 [" x# j- ?( m
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( t. M/ s& C9 r4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 W% E7 w5 p$ t* Y
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ N: W3 }/ D0 p& S# l! B4 Pcan get you shot.
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7 W/ |: t9 h" }3 y6 k6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 _$ J; C6 Q& [0 }
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 B3 J4 M# e2 s0 O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 ?) J  A4 h: W; [, W
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; a% Q  W9 t% }$ _. O% P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- d& Y/ `" d/ [( b2 k) rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 y5 O1 K' \6 y$ \+ s# w
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 D/ B/ R& b- V
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."* G) x: V- z/ n+ r$ I! ^$ y( ?) Z3 Q
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 |& z  [8 A6 u1 @- G+ Xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 W3 R$ A; \1 ^( Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 ^; N4 m- s5 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ h5 }. m8 Q/ e' hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- z9 e8 E5 ?% f' J1 yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。( Z1 v! g3 ?" L# h' [
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。8 s$ Q0 y* C7 |0 ~" E
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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1 K" Q% A3 \) b( C此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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8 q5 l. _. h4 F0 C9 J[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 3 F0 ?4 f4 v! n# r5 b- K# Y
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
( v" M) B3 T( @) K8 d满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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9 {$ l6 U/ S) q4 e! n' I. x- m) G 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?" h/ P8 Q* N8 }8 J0 T
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 8 @$ i; Y- ?7 V9 L3 Y- b) \
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% c1 k4 g0 E7 ~% J) j' R5 W满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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& Z! [# P6 o( @你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。9 D7 q! g6 v5 a6 |

  [$ G' I+ j0 d( h/ A3 V再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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