送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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- q- |5 P( {& f5 n* {5 n  _4 _) A 1. Bring your own house.
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  Q3 R/ v" {& ~+ t# a; F  J9 `0 m) ~, W 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

- ?3 q2 Z9 q9 Q3 R8 E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

. P9 Q/ M. j" s) f/ L1 S9 ^ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( n6 U4 I, K& p9 Dcapital of Canada .
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, m6 ^+ Q7 m4 n- y( y! Y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
  @/ L1 o. {7 R! \; j$8.00/hour.
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( L9 E7 _9 y. E0 j7 B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 G5 j: ^  h+ q& eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

. X1 i2 P, z% C' d- Z5 U10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; r6 `8 X# e; X' b; B/ o0 Bhere sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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! H5 C0 f% P  k3 e, x! W; | THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

% j; o0 }+ F& n1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* H( o" k! l1 i6 `  _1 xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" H4 a# r  w* o& |) G7 Z& p4 Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% O2 V1 U+ S+ Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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  }3 B' Y4 P3 X9 d. z3 G4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 @; H9 y) R( R! `0 u& Zcussed out, and possibly shot.

# I2 _2 u8 A8 B7 C0 C5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.
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  J* C7 N  K: j% Q' }6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ X: J1 H3 m& Y7 ~2 }more construction starts everyday.
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, I+ ~5 o0 v- M! @7 x" P' `  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 n6 y4 @- G3 E5 z+ S$ Ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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6 l( t: o2 o) C! L8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: s* z6 O/ ^% f8 F2 cthe same road.
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% Q7 x* f0 L! B9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# i* d9 l8 J) d& k& q+ j% Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 v4 A& q$ N: }. Bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# z3 p8 {. ?8 J* P4 v) d- Haccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
  P0 o4 T% m/ c+ `9 y8 N1 Alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

) K8 n+ w  O; M+ |" E3 b5 B$ G' b有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 `% p& U1 W, n. v+ z满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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+ D3 v2 Z6 J1 U+ x6 h% k 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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, {* T" ^& a; h& | 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

, W5 a/ U& h- V. @! x; z0 R这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
$ ~( x& T' }5 y/ b朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

$ D4 X7 Z# Y9 o, F2 ?, c% ~8 E  O你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.