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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ i4 {( Q+ K- G; N( W, g# ?% A9 j

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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
( d( D. d0 V+ B. y, A" j, ~9 E7 S: bhospital.  [- q0 P9 Z7 Q+ s# g* m2 |; C

& d4 H3 G5 n! m$ T, x  _) {# ~7 j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder  S+ H; w8 q0 X. v8 \
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* _# J: ?( m. P2 q+ T
capital of Canada .9 |1 p8 m) ?6 V2 {) z  _

/ L4 F" v7 X' C* d9 H( g 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 }0 d- ?" k* b
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 k& f/ Y8 Q, A& Q; b2 o: g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) W3 v; d  u. x: C6 Z7 O3 y) A  J
on a 15 year holiday ?
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; A( _3 J  g; ?( _/ e; G 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. C2 q& K5 F! |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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- ~, ~. t; h" `0 m; N2 G- {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- x7 H; t4 Y+ o1 A+ A* R& w
here sick.- w6 Z$ v: D" J- C6 r1 C) F, o
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' {( S- x  b4 T! t6 t# H" }
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# H9 \+ d, K) j9 U6 R. v+ G6 M0 @
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+ k0 Q" J" O' H2 H% w THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 T4 P" ?- o, _4 O1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".  h, ~8 @% V7 ]; @
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 j0 A' y( I8 r8 l  L4 H
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# ^1 y% q* g+ y: C
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
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muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, e5 s# N6 c9 x9 h. U
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) S( ^% s% [$ u
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 h! W4 s. K) Z/ A4 u, |
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 }4 c- R7 o6 |4 w" H" S. Q
can get you shot.% h3 @* u  _3 Y$ R& R( E; R
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: U6 j. I9 X# l: p! H  u  t$ e! D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; Y. o( y5 `) W7 n' l- ]7 p
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 g  {; H3 ^- k; T, I1 p
more construction starts everyday.) G/ e  o: \# \2 X6 ?* I
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; |. T# a2 @4 [- _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, _. h% V, c, z) d+ a, m- b: F
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ l  L4 F: e1 i6 t. x+ vthe same road.' a" N: E/ w6 h- p) [
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 F# E  L' w2 x; h8 ~
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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& R. V2 y9 p6 c10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* d& r$ W  S1 W& W& I' Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 D; S; L7 Z$ N+ @3 B# u( ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 h8 E" z+ x5 W
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur/ j, e' c' J4 P1 U6 Z+ b
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 p1 m4 s4 d/ R% b0 C. S: @# O
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' h2 v3 e# F8 C1 W  ?9 Gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
2 X: M/ Q& b  h9 [& W满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。  x7 C0 k; C8 w- Z  X, W) n8 x
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ( z. T4 Q. `) B8 n3 Q( ?& i5 G7 G

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9 z: O0 a- s! Z! i+ d% b# R: M7 K[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
* O1 D5 I6 K# H; j# X' v. J+ B1 V朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
! f+ l0 d7 x8 g1 x满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
9 \8 O" |  J5 |6 F/ b ...
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6 D" X% q$ j; m8 ]8 P 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 8 w% N' Q4 K& o( _! _0 g
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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% S( M- [- J% s! }这么刺痛你了吗?- t: L( ]* a! A! i- C

7 N, V6 b* `$ g5 F我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ( W8 k( N8 Y' m$ x- E7 Q
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。' ?% k1 @) \8 d- c* _& ^
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* o1 K5 d8 N4 {9 \
...

; \  f2 d$ l5 I3 \你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。& y5 v/ a* M+ F
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.: C1 [! ]( k; W8 ]7 u
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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