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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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% T3 f8 N. m- V2 Q 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
d8 {, c5 K! ~' yhospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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! F9 u& ~8 K+ C 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. t2 h' U2 w0 W6 l8 m2 f! `5 H+ e; E- i
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 t! E) i+ @; j7 f) ]
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 \7 h, ^9 D+ Y$8.00/hour.
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; E: c/ l) l6 d* n. C) i 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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1 ]; o' f" w% b$ [! F5 Q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: `+ s/ a" w/ M: F
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# M F7 H" H# ^% I4 l$ T6 \4 kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 D8 m# L( [0 j0 r ~9 R! F10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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) c+ b# N9 @( r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ t6 i3 b5 T+ T! Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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, O3 [7 P7 u% ~8 T* Q Y7 j7 i THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; A: M, {) |& i# i& m: ~8 q L
4 S1 Z6 \& R+ E/ k8 y6 L$ {$ W1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) a1 s! {3 j8 g; c
# ]5 L3 _$ N+ W4 O2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 }6 f0 j1 h* ~2 c( C7 ^is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' y7 {; t4 ?* F, l: D# x7 _5 P
. f) T% z3 N( T+ e$ s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 C0 l1 \# H V3 k6 k0 V
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ W, z9 B+ R" X( j* A% w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" H% y4 N# ^' i$ u, v( x8 O2 P
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) P" _) I S- J& k yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
" ^/ ^2 {8 N" J4 ?. f! Pcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 \7 `! w1 ~: w
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- |, Y6 s! q, X' q; Oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& ?% N- j# F9 S! _- a& c2 c! lmore construction starts everyday.0 o+ \# G( e9 i z/ `- G+ z( ?
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% ]3 v7 H( Y% A. g# qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ L; L4 L& v$ F; t( u2 isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.! W K+ S4 w5 A4 \- R, @
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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+ a- M# l' y4 ?5 ~9 j) Y3 D3 d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: ~3 k9 K& `5 h6 fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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$ |3 S7 K+ W# S7 c3 _$ T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& D+ Z& M6 w G- T2 i; p0 @! n: q _
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 P' N+ L/ B$ }) x0 Uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ s9 _# Y2 N. ]6 x& m
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 X* A2 e2 C1 Z( R2 L4 c: Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# h* d* Y6 D1 \$ x4 z
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# g9 z; y" a: }6 q3 ]) ]8 B/ n, ]
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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