埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2824|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
1 p" y9 {" {& d8 @: X/ b! d, X! G( z" m4 `, m7 y0 r

( A' E% w5 t' b3 A" K- E# @
% @) B% a* g& k: W# D6 U 1. Bring your own house., ?7 r( v6 f# w# E

, c# l6 f$ |, S* A) D8 L8 \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
* S" g9 f8 M: i2 Lhospital.
7 I/ X6 }/ ?  d- L1 O
$ _/ E2 {" ^  p. Y$ W* s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
. I/ ]' ~9 y$ d$ O) |capital of Canada .
- W- W! i6 O% s" D* y* D( y
6 A$ {6 ]0 f$ n( f, M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% z. {, G8 J3 c: W$ M8 q

, c% r. u( c& |4 K' Y' Z 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# g7 \$ z7 |9 G4 Y2 z4 B* x
capital of Canada .3 c$ d8 c$ `/ i% \( C' I. }

/ v, @) E% g6 {# O# B 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ ^$ D' G* q  o% Z; K8 m$8.00/hour.
8 {, i4 `7 |- l6 A* ]) Q+ [0 n$ R/ o: {- t  i. L! I2 g
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. e% T5 n6 V8 C# E# C  q

# o- t4 z4 f3 V: z# a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- [- Z$ f$ m) d" A4 U& R
on a 15 year holiday ?- Z7 L! r; e  f

4 j* R2 Y5 J* H 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ ~8 p5 w8 G( F7 e" s9 G- Vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& `/ r, q- V9 `  K) E8 N( p- t
' k/ b8 K9 j) ?
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* a+ G6 R( l$ @; Z1 }1 ?6 Chere sick.
, b) s' q  Y2 T
0 v' r# J9 M- m4 m- ^# ]11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! d, p- B4 U0 w; N# H& G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 Q5 U6 _/ i* ^4 p4 B
2 }# x3 C( u1 ^# f

& t/ Z0 t0 |- g$ M+ I$ l, ~% x* p& e$ h/ W: G2 e; {
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :# H$ _  c$ I( g+ v& c

+ \1 t9 J. K  X, Q" a# G$ ^1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
' Z, E8 Y3 a2 g. t/ [; C8 Z+ Z4 @# n& N7 H. T& k0 u4 o4 G
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 h4 \, y  p+ w- L+ R7 A. I& N3 {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
" d7 }$ w- ?( Q
9 @% m$ Y3 S9 {) n3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 p& |; S5 G! m# Hown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: g: g9 ~/ e* m: `. K
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- q5 H; {/ J8 [/ @# o  q2 V  i1 ]
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( H. r" G6 f; K% c
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 q) G3 C2 f% c! o
6 n1 z* M4 M- b; y" B
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 t1 `/ Q. n) s* ?
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 A; h1 ^- o* Z8 W3 }: a( Y

; Q" o" D' t2 d5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' Y% l+ r9 s) b# b7 G2 s- u0 Acan get you shot.' K! v# I# ?$ B9 b, |: [9 P
0 {" U1 g- _* j1 B- K1 M
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! M- p  i" r; H* N; g) w8 l5 \barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, h7 I7 e% g$ s! w5 ?day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ S1 b0 w7 |. {. Emore construction starts everyday.# u' n# E3 H( ]# d7 t! w0 L
( v/ |5 ~3 j- ^6 Y' L0 R/ s
  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& h! K! i0 n" N; A. h8 u# Y/ L
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 c' n# r: j1 c2 D- j/ z2 \0 L, usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
* T; o6 V- ~4 D8 t3 q; ]  }+ Q0 u- N, r$ X
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 `1 G5 w$ p* r- O
the same road.( @/ b; E  `4 S9 k4 }" `) E
! ~2 P: D1 i% f2 d+ u# V
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 J" w8 R* d0 Q' K3 l- h3 o& x% Gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ U/ z& g! S0 l- u" u
activated."5 b' f( s! F3 G5 b
& v# U" O. E2 [( ^, o; }4 i$ K9 `
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km. m" l  g. g7 j' M6 ~
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 [  x1 n. s. J" Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 V4 t' Y5 d; ~$ k: Z4 z# m8 a( P
- W6 x7 @- \. _2 x  i# ^
11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ A2 X$ P! y5 s2 ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 F. ], c  M' K) b. }7 d8 v; ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' Q- J  f: c$ }5 z2 X. ?, K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
1 f% k+ p! v) g+ k) b
有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
- t) p, t& p( g, L& U/ z6 O满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
5 l: z% \& T, \: E- W有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 1 n$ ]. l( Y9 U! h- e

$ C& C% d/ H, z, {) {4 n+ C此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 * K2 G& s5 r. Q" b
; D- C5 [, ~4 v. x) E

& X0 E" u7 z( [' @8 J' n1 v4 i4 M* P
[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 1 X9 B$ o. m; n0 d" H
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
" b# C! ?- z# B7 D. i/ n7 V满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。% n: f0 J5 i% `% y& a" {
...

$ b. r$ L1 f8 _' w. }  h
6 L7 f) Y9 p1 Z! Y 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 ; o) h/ G- v7 G0 \( D0 C
: G3 j/ O* u4 ?9 I! V

  D* v$ B8 G3 H! S/ ` 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

  S7 y& p' v# M( l2 o- `" j
1 `$ O( g! Y$ W$ B; Y8 y+ t9 I- D这么刺痛你了吗?
8 L5 j! n9 e4 }; i
/ v2 K, G2 U+ K( }8 ^& O% O我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 5 [# H! v4 y- x% N( a# w- _
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) ?7 b, T" F: U7 m& \- Q满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
; N& e# |0 C9 ^+ F7 R% F6 p2 ` ...
2 g8 P% o! I! i8 t  T% Z  g3 P
你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。, }  s0 q( ]7 W8 Y& Q
" k# Q4 d, J+ x' k
再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
$ k! {, N. _* [+ j
# s: J9 E) p) @* x( M
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-1-27 06:07 , Processed in 0.182401 second(s), 38 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表