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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: Q8 w: }! a( _! E7 j3 P$ x# ^
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! V% i; p1 }$ X4 i% U8 R9 m4 N, U 1. Bring your own house.
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7 ?+ q5 q- X2 U* F" N 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and Q& o1 l K0 [* {5 O, s5 y
hospital.1 Z- ~ \% `9 k3 o% R0 |; N, ~6 [
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 [! B( X. D( ?4 O4 \
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# m R- @0 x5 k8 `; w
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 E: G, L$ L6 f- qcapital of Canada .& `, o& x& m& `: u$ j5 t9 C
3 _; g# |( P( L- B6 @3 n C p% H6 N 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- a3 H% t! Y# q+ {$8.00/hour.
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/ w9 H! T& N- t( K6 p 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 K% v {; y7 J, j: P7 @
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
0 K3 c0 F# v$ p+ P# _) Hon a 15 year holiday ?6 P* |2 m& y# \$ |. S; J M
& y6 I- l7 d8 c$ m/ F( R# D7 v8 |7 f 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 z, D0 \5 }7 u) B6 p! u. sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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# w$ O$ Z' q; l2 ~, \, D10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come/ x- ^( ~) P/ L0 o
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 A' C6 P, p' x" n7 C
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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) @1 O. O: \3 M# w THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; s8 C1 k1 \; ]3 v
% L6 m8 t6 k) Y5 @! ]" S) I/ g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* \7 U g+ D" O/ Y6 o2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
% [( d- A- p1 Q2 e2 t* q6 Iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 ]0 n! ^7 ?# B0 Q3 z. g
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& a2 V3 ~, U/ l! gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( F9 |! T; w0 z6 T0 L$ [
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
4 W. B! _. F9 s4 r0 `5 N Vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" y3 s- u/ d$ V6 N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 G* m, w, u8 [7 W ^8 o4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 p5 K' u* E( f% D- f2 } k& y% \
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ W( R( n+ O& ?0 M2 J, Rcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
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day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# u3 u5 U; `. w$ o& E2 o% t9 nmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) p2 X1 u6 q+ Y" S- i- b
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! l$ B1 E) B8 U* \* U
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 I" _$ R) b( t! V! L, x& \+ c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) }9 S) g. y, o, nthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 e' M6 C+ D% s; \' K6 mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
: E1 G# ?4 E' Y$ tactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 ^8 T! O" B0 Bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. A, O" F8 Z0 x5 ^; H$ p8 Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 h. T5 |. E' f( D! _8 D
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 q' W1 l% K" { H
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* `. f/ O, f+ ^- |/ E: u2 ~blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( v" `( g' x/ R) M- J- O. W5 [" uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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