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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) ?7 O" f8 Y9 l4 A9 [
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; X m$ y' s* e6 A 1. Bring your own house., `. g6 `8 m5 F! V+ y, p, d1 S
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% |! i1 m6 ^* ^1 Z
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: p$ z( u& b) z" R4 u
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& D9 K4 N1 m1 r- G' b4 {
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( G' r9 d" m6 Hcapital of Canada .8 N/ E( q0 e- O/ R# {! E+ U8 N
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, E) V3 K* `, e: Q6 b8 d6 g
$8.00/hour.* F2 L$ M7 ^. O* F( e: t% L
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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2 a3 i4 h" s% |# F( Y/ x 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 ~4 L( S! ]' @% C% r* w* {0 @
on a 15 year holiday ?' `$ F. X0 ~; a6 m+ W
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' ~0 f; |! l# p+ [4 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 X# J2 Q7 o6 V0 R9 J% x& j
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- y, \6 |) y: ?2 q. ~* _here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! r1 l6 H9 C( n2 T' Dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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- n& ?/ G/ x# b/ d4 }2 S A7 O THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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) E) f9 o5 d- N! n; V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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# [, l8 g- X, L' w2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# o& E. \/ d6 D( i; ~, K5 c
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ C2 A9 S' Z; _/ ?$ | y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! R( A( Y0 }2 o4 _+ u
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 B1 r: P0 b# d
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
9 P) X" v. a- x/ ^6 B; Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: \ e1 a! ^6 L# D1 ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# P' D; M! x1 ]5 K, bcan get you shot.6 `6 B+ t8 Y! l! z( z2 H/ n& \1 N
# \: L0 R+ s" K) j6 ]+ ~- ]' P6 O6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' A5 u$ c7 I# ?* Z' _1 [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& q0 a7 g5 y n1 u8 r, ]. Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" f4 h1 {+ u5 e& }+ Z2 L7 G
more construction starts everyday./ t) V8 I, P! ]* _3 X, n1 H
- \6 W z$ J: f" @, V5 a5 l2 N( T; w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' |8 x! m" |, h' Q v" {* v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 w- e3 P8 S2 \- Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
! U4 D! f& U4 o7 P1 \$ L" {6 }the same road.
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+ A5 q5 f6 r. C7 R, f9 j7 e9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 A9 \1 M& b; ^/ p8 e- Q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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3 l% p% o# e+ P+ K6 `$ r11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 x* i, Y: X3 n- mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ {- K" v7 T* c, R% o
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# }) {' K2 d3 z9 n
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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