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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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% `$ J- I: @7 t0 a( J 1. Bring your own house.: P# j- C5 ~3 N
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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7 v8 Q b9 g$ K/ f( R6 m& u( e 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder4 M2 k6 J" z6 |) y4 j
capital of Canada .7 ~, a! x; N: ]+ W- X
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .5 m3 X+ ^( T, B: N" {
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 Z g. e# c% V) \! Ccapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is) G5 {- I) t: b1 y
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 U- `$ \( m1 R% C
( g I) R7 K- M 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
; Z2 J' V0 O$ H! p& \2 M& \" Hon a 15 year holiday ?6 Z, \7 v2 }. w. P) M
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- M' y; q5 Y. {% O3 v# r, u) `. s
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ H: Y* a- t, o d/ N1 C# G/ {# X
7 F& y% D7 q: W! U- l% c& d10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ ?' ]1 Y- `$ {0 D
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 r5 O# b" K" T% L: `
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% a, x4 |% z% z! M& Z( F
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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- j- S+ J& A0 g+ I( M8 D4 }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ K' o. _6 m8 k+ R; l1 }
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ L" { d! ~3 o3 U4 S' ?$ {3 e
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 @$ l: C- L4 ]8 z' l) W
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 F' L3 p0 |1 v2 C5 Z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 W; k; d$ N+ j' Y/ {9 Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell& @+ C8 d c/ o* P/ J
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
P* K6 E9 g0 L' q3 c) Mcussed out, and possibly shot.1 T6 f9 i, D! w7 P o5 V" S* ]
2 F6 g4 L8 r m' i5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 E: W2 i- H+ E7 E; p- x
can get you shot.
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- j* K. c) ]; n6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 K3 K3 u+ f6 `6 l
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) N5 E6 z. Q7 P2 o1 j5 H! ]. C8 s/ w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ f2 J+ q0 [' Y+ l3 s @
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 g# o% c* v6 x6 _8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" z6 H% _! \/ G3 f$ C
the same road.
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- |9 C) R8 k$ Z; o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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& h, ~& P+ ?. Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" g4 G2 T8 `7 s" ]11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, m8 N6 r! C. W: Jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" m! [; A, {9 L/ `# S) [
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) R% [6 |5 _* t% f
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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