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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 t. G0 Z3 H( X& K g+ A
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e0 j: o7 F1 H. F2 k! } 1. Bring your own house.! A0 A% t; s; Q9 v8 w
2 I' S; W0 A' Y8 Y. T [ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% i) Z, R A- n! d2 ]( m
hospital.( l3 b: \ J: p, P% r6 u2 ?
7 w# l8 g1 m8 P7 @/ W/ g 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder e4 I5 H6 p# u* `
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 W7 `8 I! ^( l& E& D/ d
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 a' Q3 O3 \9 ^capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 q W" i0 _ M9 r
$8.00/hour.- w$ o* }* u, x
( ^4 @1 p. {* f( O& \0 ]. ? 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour. Z" w( v1 g' k/ G" Q
; I5 S5 v6 m" E 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
5 a J, M0 ~7 h5 f$ pon a 15 year holiday ?6 x# C* [8 t) R& ]8 R
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 D8 W/ O( \4 ?prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 F0 h# ~ I5 O$ t8 C( Ghere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; P8 U! ~3 j% p. b; i
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) I# E. m' w* g! t2 `
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 @: Y. z$ O. v( m$ V t# \6 V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 c5 q; B' j. f6 s, F: [- ?+ ]
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.+ ]- I) E( |* x1 |
3 C. v: p$ x% S g$ h/ Z) i3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 B" |1 v! n9 v8 E$ ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 Q" z8 m, t* B) C7 Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& k0 e9 H w" u
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 ?1 n# ?8 W$ f# L; F0 e2 m8 r- z' { t- G
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 V, R; R: }' G: K1 v2 g* ~
, y6 d w) ]: V. [/ I$ _4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' r. k, l6 v8 C: |4 [ Z% C: q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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$ h7 q. E, N1 @, q) y- T6 j- F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: L% g- P* V# O8 ^) \
can get you shot.
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! `! f4 r9 W3 U# @9 Q3 A6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour( C8 r9 k) j- U
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- s, D; R5 ?! I1 ?5 Y% P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 w8 ^, E4 @" V+ F, _; {2 e8 J% d1 fmore construction starts everyday. a+ x U5 W4 U9 z' V& R
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,1 K% N5 `1 Q6 H0 \
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( }4 M4 `; f- K/ b2 [( Msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." W: G8 o5 q0 D. k: p' _$ Y
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% X# v# m6 g; d+ Y9 t
the same road.% S$ [6 o5 p% Z) e, }5 M& T
1 s+ t* @5 y4 l* x u/ s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. {3 i7 t# b4 K! {2 Qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
# l, f j7 f1 G9 x/ u4 q5 A* gactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
+ ]& z: f# r0 \zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 q2 z; m0 t; h2 d! f1 K' {" n
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ S) s8 D( I9 [7 ?. u% l5 ^5 d' M
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 \, G( d/ Q" k4 p9 M. Jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& ^! W v2 M+ C" O& X& y4 fvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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