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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' W, h4 [! B" A& e/ t
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; d5 o/ Z) x3 c2 P% s- u. w 1. Bring your own house.4 {+ u+ d6 g+ [7 o
9 ]. c- x; T1 q$ R& s- J7 s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
% O5 j4 K: y7 o+ L4 E+ Y' vhospital.
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0 m: u) m8 o. c) ?5 B, q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, Y) k( _. f) }6 [) N6 s# ^
capital of Canada .8 j9 y( x2 j( A; h5 v0 j
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .1 R3 U# m) W9 \" R# e- E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, l9 v8 q* v4 ^( ^/ r; v! q
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
7 o+ [$ I0 U4 E1 a$8.00/hour.3 b( V- A4 q4 n) ~( C3 ~
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; {0 j# ]3 ]/ L* ~! }* `% U, H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 ~" C( h( ^' ~: B; l6 g2 b+ |- U
on a 15 year holiday ?
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$ Z; g) V E7 ^; x/ O 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 W! s7 {' d; Xprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* p# Q0 L3 @6 C M: C
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ L: p3 w* q! ]' r$ I# r5 I9 Z; \
here sick.: D2 @7 T/ h! X8 V0 u8 n* ^
) o1 e7 t' s( c6 I3 W1 t6 C2 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 H/ S+ @; j* G0 w. P- a: ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- I. q" A. F2 c
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* A9 G/ r% s/ Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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4 B! k/ B8 ]2 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 u( [, s4 e' r5 a5 O
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.7 B0 K3 j) W0 P
9 `+ C' Q2 Y2 B4 \3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ u2 k0 x, @) u9 F' y) Rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& b, O8 v& K1 {3 X4 C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 L: c) J* J! B, Ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" `& c6 h; w) ?8 p$ ^' H& U, N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: G- q4 h' f+ D6 k
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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+ C! d6 m4 ]" L: ]5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ c4 @7 r- o, q! e" q8 Bcan get you shot.) e8 |0 M. _6 I: I2 v
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' s" o& V! e9 ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# d# S2 {# l& a# y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ D( D7 c: m+ }+ u4 z
more construction starts everyday.4 t- X8 D g5 Y) y H, T
4 ]0 p% W- O. E5 m7 M 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: J n7 j& U$ V2 \" K" Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 p8 L& @) {1 [; N. F0 t
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." t- I6 A3 T& O( ^2 R1 |
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ y( @6 [$ P$ M8 `' U
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& f6 k) r9 ]7 M9 c6 N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally E2 p, H# O7 W: g1 Z6 R
activated."% \; w3 v& c& ?+ w) Y( h0 `" [ j
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ D" Y7 G' b; N# p+ _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ x# Q l* E2 p5 }+ d3 Y! Y! ^5 V
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: e3 @8 T" u( n
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' N. S3 f% g4 m5 X( { r# t
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# E) V' |/ A& _+ H6 mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% s/ b) F' A4 t, l: Q& S& Xvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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