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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.% [5 Y% c# B$ Z" e9 M  _1 J

  @4 c* r# x; t$ w/ ~; s/ X; { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
+ {; \6 [7 o5 p! e9 F' Q$ L' t! {hospital.
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" h$ S' _3 d7 t  q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 ?1 G$ W; b) y& g) s7 ncapital of Canada .) g2 z- T( x, h! ]
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 D; {4 x0 O1 g# Icapital of Canada .) c, a3 o7 g: ]# }
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- b- J- d3 _, E8 M2 E+ }$ k" M$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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' P5 X2 T' E3 `/ V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ @/ C, a4 U" N  j
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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" h. a9 q# P7 y, t6 j! Y7 h. X" B" P; Z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 \: e8 L) t5 O9 s; ~
here sick.
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. R8 L' v7 m  p0 I8 l1 I11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( k! a( }( {  {9 f
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 I* D, t7 G: A! C

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+ Y  v! U: c- }( [' W$ u" r/ ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".  c: Z7 T: S# u( L0 }# R6 {3 M% Z
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 p# R4 ~; z* r, o1 iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 G  n/ i+ y$ F+ @5 q

# H( j* Q( I) `5 S2 g0 ]3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" ]. p. X' n9 T. w  Z' uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* N( @0 P' e# ~muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires7 H" u* n$ }, c( ~4 l
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
& L% ^2 L5 |% f. ^- k; n3 ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 n' B3 g3 }! X& c0 L% Q

6 @' T+ Y4 z% e4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 v3 m4 K& i7 l( N7 e
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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0 F4 e* |5 Z1 i5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 x/ B4 c! a$ I! H5 X% C% g# pcan get you shot." t4 X6 u/ E/ a' f/ @, B
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 i1 O1 ?9 i9 i+ U: i- [/ i) I
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- y0 _# y2 G. V4 G2 T& Y/ y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, m" r/ m0 \& U# p# C# n" }more construction starts everyday.. ]5 Y# B2 i" j  y( U
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 O9 o" d& E# [( r! R9 Ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& d$ o4 h  |7 g3 Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 \1 `, _! D/ T" @

: a6 |5 i. B/ m5 T8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; _9 _6 @6 `! d+ hthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; k2 @+ N: }# w) [
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ f2 G  J4 Y% @5 D, @; Q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 Q+ l+ Y# R) N% h* t7 p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! E1 P4 v4 y8 p8 b5 l: B7 w' z- q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! V4 M2 T& ~% o& X7 X) ]9 q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" ]7 a) |2 `9 cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' N7 z! d9 c- I- c满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。% j! Y6 H) V- Y& B
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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( o. u% O6 |* L- K6 L* m1 c此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 0 B) [( k0 V& r# V- u% @7 [. {- ?2 M
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9 x: {* P+ v! v' _$ r+ l[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ) e: S- |2 V7 E( Y. f
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
+ I$ I/ u( T% r/ J满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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1 P. }& _1 X3 \ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?2 s6 A3 R' I# d5 G* Z0 A5 I$ S

( C/ P5 ~( J1 `) w& v我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
. }, i8 [  n$ j( ^) {朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
( L1 D! x5 D9 _8 w+ {满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。8 B7 E( U6 R; T) u& g" M4 W+ @  R

, i7 R5 q3 a8 M再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.3 q$ u: @" q; u0 F

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理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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