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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ X* w5 a) N% a8 v$ K2 j% B X* E% f
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1. Bring your own house.
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7 m. B5 q! N) A, R1 [1 \- U7 C" `" o* K 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, |8 l9 T @8 x- H x$ I% P6 Jhospital.
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: Z9 b5 t. ]; ~% G o 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' y, p7 n4 I+ @6 z! K* ]) q
capital of Canada .
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7 ?+ l; W: a4 r3 ` 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 y q1 U6 I* l8 O' }+ D0 W; p! I" v
( h' }0 d/ J* C* h/ D3 k 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# I& ~6 ~* r4 k# J; K2 R# d
capital of Canada .
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4 x8 f. Y; w6 c/ ]8 { 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& c! x6 S/ t$ H' \1 c" R
$8.00/hour.& U2 I- E( j! T2 n+ Q) p
1 _5 ~/ p% u1 K2 r! @! { 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ j6 j/ A! A9 C+ z1 T
* _" b( o- j$ ~4 H9 Y! P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# R8 a3 D3 i& a* c
on a 15 year holiday ?
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- H: l c- d3 {0 o; x+ P 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, X# G# @' c6 v" j5 R
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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9 `3 w' g) r y$ W11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
* e3 Y& c$ P! ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; V8 E8 |1 V. l S' D( a- W1 {0 Z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 M+ X8 k/ b2 c2 W' B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
# N$ b! n6 U7 P7 Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, p( d1 F0 x+ o7 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 b4 v0 u: R8 _5 `. C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ N! u4 U+ z& }) Z5 Ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* N! s/ S+ s, K- a, }
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 }4 P7 U# D( r& P# C8 T& Z5 O
" j+ m' ?( k' f4 X0 U) n( Q' E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," r5 f1 c2 } I/ k
cussed out, and possibly shot.& R/ h- c. Q$ w0 F
$ d- y7 x; z4 G* ~; ?, E5 j* Y/ @ ~5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ z, A9 s8 x8 ^; S; k' ^
can get you shot.
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, w: l, j% b2 j3 h, _8 Q4 H6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( z* K$ x0 E; t) d! b% _' d6 j8 Z/ ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 E0 ?8 b& p# u N Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and+ T' a V/ `/ u6 B' R# K
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 h/ H" D9 ]- ^( |+ s
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 g) v' z- L1 f$ I4 K, Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; V3 M* q6 b5 D( k! g. k+ I
the same road.7 |3 |' H: R. Z
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: P; F- o7 S: q7 l8 ]8 g H! W4 S7 o
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% c/ D' r! ]. R5 \+ s
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.2 u* L; Y( t% s* a! y8 X4 I3 ^
, s& E6 k9 P; W6 N% O1 J11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 s' v4 b3 w! m7 _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 S' K) Y: S9 N0 s& Z1 j
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 I3 b% |9 N* K1 Bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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