 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
2 ^7 r# x* n& I6 u* [* t- q; @* Z& z B6 D
' Y0 v+ N9 T) A& D! q) s- w0 A$ t" q/ q+ l2 e# k
1. Bring your own house.% [5 Y% c# B$ Z" e9 M _1 J
@4 c* r# x; t$ w/ ~; s/ X; { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
+ {; \6 [7 o5 p! e9 F' Q$ L' t! {hospital.
0 u2 [$ d/ \1 K0 [
" h$ S' _3 d7 t q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 ?1 G$ W; b) y& g) s7 ncapital of Canada .) g2 z- T( x, h! ]
3 E# o& P r9 H& V
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
- c* S" E7 P& A. ^% l' I6 w+ R, O; I* o( \0 k5 K, X4 E2 |- N3 A
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 D; {4 x0 O1 g# Icapital of Canada .) c, a3 o7 g: ]# }
& [6 `: y5 D6 ~
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- b- J- d3 _, E8 M2 E+ }$ k" M$8.00/hour.
# f/ |* b. f" K$ e5 K$ e( C: s# l* E! D" j6 W2 O
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
' ^* ?6 s1 w7 Z$ V3 ^* ^ P0 q$ n! `+ M$ P$ U) [
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 P) `! r: d. ron a 15 year holiday ?
$ L& Z. l& ~+ e
' P5 X2 T' E3 `/ V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ @/ C, a4 U" N j
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
, S2 z* V8 ~6 O7 g. a7 \' w& ]3 ?
" h. a9 q# P7 y, t6 j! Y7 h. X" B" P; Z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 \: e8 L) t5 O9 s; ~
here sick.
# D( G! y- v0 p5 G
. R8 L' v7 m p0 I8 l1 I11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( k! a( }( { {9 f
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 I* D, t7 G: A! C
' m; w( G7 ?/ v N/ X' D
9 H1 m4 @! d6 n9 z
+ Y v! U: c- }( [' W$ u" r/ ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
8 M0 s( B8 ]) z H( Z. R7 _& ?6 [: m# G1 S' D w* J
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". c: Z7 T: S# u( L0 }# R6 {3 M% Z
i0 ?2 Q, P9 V7 o1 D( E7 S
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 p# R4 ~; z* r, o1 iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 G n/ i+ y$ F+ @5 q
# H( j* Q( I) `5 S2 g0 ]3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" ]. p. X' n9 T. w Z' uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* N( @0 P' e# ~muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires7 H" u* n$ }, c( ~4 l
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
& L% ^2 L5 |% f. ^- k; n3 ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 n' B3 g3 }! X& c0 L% Q
6 @' T+ Y4 z% e4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 v3 m4 K& i7 l( N7 e
cussed out, and possibly shot.
3 c1 a. _* S& `1 D2 e
0 F4 e* |5 Z1 i5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 x/ B4 c! a$ I! H5 X% C% g# pcan get you shot." t4 X6 u/ E/ a' f/ @, B
7 P9 ?( _: Z- `7 _
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 i1 O1 ?9 i9 i+ U: i- [/ i) I
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- y0 _# y2 G. V4 G2 T& Y/ y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, m" r/ m0 \& U# p# C# n" }more construction starts everyday.. ]5 Y# B2 i" j y( U
! N- s H% T9 p+ Z+ ?
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 O9 o" d& E# [( r! R9 Ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& d$ o4 h |7 g3 Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 \1 `, _! D/ T" @
: a6 |5 i. B/ m5 T8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; _9 _6 @6 `! d+ hthe same road.
8 j! O" Z/ ~& d' {, _0 u. M# P& {' R% ^& O/ U5 P) ?6 _
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; k2 @+ N: }# w) [
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
% b9 ^; ~, z0 U& ^: I. Gactivated."8 r/ l( t3 R) k9 r# P7 b! }) m: I. |
0 O2 m" o, n+ @/ ]: F
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ f2 G J4 Y% @5 D, @; Q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 Q+ l+ Y# R) N% h* t7 p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
0 {: A. X" B7 M, x- n# u) S$ R1 A! v+ k
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! E1 P4 v4 y8 p8 b5 l: B7 w' z- q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! V4 M2 T& ~% o& X7 X) ]9 q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" ]7 a) |2 `9 cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
* ~0 f; \: _2 O( D2 z* V; h; k# e
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
