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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: ]6 ~+ x* U: }( H- p, u9 k9 g* Q+ @3 B
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3 A" d7 Q/ T4 Z0 [+ t 1. Bring your own house.3 G# K7 U& @8 x3 v
8 ^/ }/ i6 r& V5 u6 }4 q4 z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& J9 [/ O ?8 Q9 r# J* r, z( y6 jcapital of Canada .; O7 x6 o$ R' Q1 f" I3 c4 Q, W
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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0 ?1 U. E, }. j 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! `( L. }2 Z3 x8 v( ecapital of Canada .& r. C% _3 ~. k& k/ o
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 A" u+ S8 z s2 L2 O1 V6 i3 H
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. \- R, b$ w' ?0 I/ }
; M- ~2 [$ l2 ~) k 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: N- y& M& f) n$ _5 u9 y
on a 15 year holiday ?6 ]% T& L" I8 d6 a( L
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas+ ~" ~; m( y5 O+ K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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9 O3 Z+ [5 s, }3 c10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 m* N, t# [+ k; I$ @3 Ihere sick.
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Z8 L, l- B3 {/ y2 j7 l11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
& P. E/ p& U6 Xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- z% W$ d& S9 b" w% H. \
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0 @' R% c! X4 x. ` ~6 k" ^) y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :9 F* D6 p3 w! D/ D4 K# r3 P8 q
, n* s% @& T1 H1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".; q' z- F4 ?& `' x/ }. d* {7 L) T
9 a/ _! w# E2 N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour2 u* S$ }; O9 \7 w8 C( x9 e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ f# b* w: f; z
$ h, [- }/ I# {5 X [! i) D" B' s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 h( m2 u m, Q9 R1 ?+ r v1 @* oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, b) g" `/ _: p+ R$ J+ d2 U* B8 Zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# z7 q+ U1 w2 X
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- o9 r# ` O9 X4 O
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 e! j$ J, Y+ h9 ?
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% [0 R1 N+ }5 B4 x6 ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
) f: d' @. ^# gcan get you shot.
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7 N- k* S9 f7 i6 ?# `6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour4 n" s4 U9 X5 k* w [
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* B2 S& Y/ X fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 [. v; u2 p4 R: I9 j/ v6 tmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ n% E& t* w& z7 q4 Q, p
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; E' J9 G- x6 P2 P
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 g8 T; L. s% o( H
6 \$ u ^+ u3 j8 ~+ Q% k# y* W8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. c# v v0 d9 f8 ~! Athe same road.3 _% V* V% ^# k+ k/ J
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! n# K" U8 j1 w" V: W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 }1 R1 ^6 @8 t X2 [
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- D* e4 g/ {7 r# [5 ^" [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! @: q6 _3 v$ D
r; W5 E; g+ m0 y" d2 B8 m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 O- F9 x6 p- j" v, Y H
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! P3 ^) f8 L8 H( T+ V( H5 qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- z: N" {) I6 j7 t( l) Z. T
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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