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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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) X3 H; V- ]7 Y& B4 |- `! k0 O$ Y7 E 1. Bring your own house.; j+ E+ u4 l( [+ C$ a- J9 T( m
! M- ?4 z: a# Q, N 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and j, e1 j0 s1 p& X n
hospital.6 u. Q6 p8 g. l9 t3 l$ O+ j* F! T
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# U6 C$ r% [7 ]' D' b
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) m& z+ k8 s G& |0 u1 U
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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; K- c+ I4 [% ^2 g( Y" R: P2 ^7 W 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 M% g7 _& h7 `( lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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; M% ^" `8 ~+ H# R0 U- e10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 h# p4 V- u% R" \6 ]; e* D
here sick.) x* G" k ?0 f: |
% S& D9 l" n! L+ N3 S7 p& z" X6 v11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 z+ o1 U |9 h4 B& ~( ?% syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ m& }% P! Q9 G! O) N k7 s- F7 C( }
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 p- g* x+ i! _* s8 Y3 S1 d9 Q
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest M# n, ~2 [% u
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& y Q7 t$ w3 D. b4 Ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 ?# o y# u0 I4 t; k
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, l, m& U7 {7 l: ^% L0 w2 f% [
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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9 L( k! @' a% s3 z- ~8 g0 s+ [5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
% ]- b& P6 j8 g4 ~can get you shot., Q! k: X) Z$ k: A: E
! ?& o" U# U% q. H2 s; ]6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ ^9 k$ ^6 R8 N) n4 y. }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- G: |0 ?3 [& W$ D( w& N' w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and! k" }+ @0 v D% v8 G8 y) Z6 s$ `5 ~- d
more construction starts everyday.) f0 G' B, d4 w/ W5 C6 @) f
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 ~) z3 l2 `/ q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," |9 f0 ~! V3 f/ G
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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( e: j5 @. F1 y- S$ d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& A. q" L8 d; K' ?' B# d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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( z) {; J5 x6 o- @- ~: K10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km) K g$ G& \. \/ _
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 s: ?8 X! R$ m5 g% X8 d: ~5 E
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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