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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.. X% Y s6 X% D2 h3 V7 I4 J" g
# E- X0 a1 c& {' t( G8 U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 ]# z1 F2 @+ U* ?6 m
hospital.% }& o3 m1 [, V
) e1 B# v2 N% k: @, A3 j9 z, O# H 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 i& b9 v# L4 x$ J
capital of Canada .' f* K$ l/ s( c% P
5 T) L3 y! l. J c- G0 u" n# r/ o 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# ?8 y& s, b: J9 K+ q6 M
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 Z* @ E. _% r5 D
capital of Canada .( c2 h; v1 q! u: o: K7 x
9 X' A, z: q' w( F" U 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) d7 b" e6 z2 k# [$8.00/hour.7 P' q$ w- w" ] b/ e3 w" r
% J6 a: ?5 F3 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ ?6 [7 J" v3 y* n( R9 con a 15 year holiday ?/ g$ I; q$ H: `0 N6 V
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ o$ B( V' C+ m: U+ \) e7 ~prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ L# C$ _# u) W( r4 \years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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K8 d% { ]- v/ g2 N+ x& k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 L' e9 ^- @+ R4 ? P. x0 h
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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0 y# d/ y/ h2 e2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 y) S: R, K/ q9 Q4 G5 A, dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." ~) Y4 `2 u, }: S: y; N
( \: ^* b' h4 p9 b+ S, a3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. N- V6 p" G& e! i: v+ \2 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* M6 ?5 [, H9 Q! X. K4 S& [; p
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: S$ n* q* g) q6 W- e( e \ ~go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
U! m6 N$ A1 _0 dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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, q& i# l" q+ T; V, n6 O1 v; @4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, O( _/ _ S& J2 ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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3 I, D4 c( p: ^8 v3 X- l5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: P+ x |+ R Z) T, K/ k$ X3 ?can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 I1 q- R3 D' {8 W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% O1 U: b+ ]) w- ~. pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 [- k7 w3 P! N0 M- r6 nmore construction starts everyday.5 J O* q" P$ E, }" Y+ ]5 t
4 W0 \9 k( z- V1 [/ E 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' X9 v6 b) c& Y$ n. ~. ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 e% L' U* B4 J+ i
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 {! u7 J' r; U3 `) q' P! R
7 z$ m8 V# y1 M j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 M1 I- T/ F9 s
the same road.9 E$ [/ n( |) T6 ]2 u+ x' l: Z
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 w8 h: f1 y) T# ?6 [% i& Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 i' `2 l4 y% T% S) O, p
activated."
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* j7 q% v$ p3 v/ q% J7 J- w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
; ~: D" R4 Y6 G9 K+ g0 Ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 ?1 U8 ~& ^/ C2 {4 P2 [: r
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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# A* L ~4 ^- P- e# ]3 f1 I11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) @1 d, _& @2 m( ]5 qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' |, N: U' j+ e2 m; {* M0 Hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ ?0 y/ l7 D+ Z( q' D
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
