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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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! e2 x k) k( ]' G 1. Bring your own house.+ L6 g, p8 _* r0 |$ O; G
2 J4 l. x- n6 B e( a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 H/ m' y& c4 B8 v+ `+ O. d# j2 T
hospital.# y. m- B1 {2 U+ t2 \ n4 Q0 Q4 M, |
( P) e ^# L* u3 G% x6 B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 X: b4 r) A% }2 f5 d/ Q3 w
capital of Canada .
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; p9 E( q& h& r 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ U" a" D& |, f, f% W# ? g7 t
$8.00/hour.0 \" U+ ^+ N1 n: ?' c. k
& G N& D D( L: y7 \3 J 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) W* M. e( U% A$ U" b* a' [. G' H
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& ^* R0 b/ ?$ o L8 V) [, N& p
on a 15 year holiday ?9 Z& @5 k( A) Y& Q* e
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# g% K8 {" y% ]. k" A! v' S+ V
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- B3 S% J" F6 |7 m# J2 }2 a
here sick.& g' S5 R7 J3 o7 Q# ?8 Z; f
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" J# L+ O( D) ^$ N+ l
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" L, W/ o' M- Y+ q- i5 y5 d THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 Y5 C! I6 P) @( o4 m, I# }! \6 ^
% z+ L r, y2 ]7 g V0 t0 D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! Y. b5 I2 A2 p5 L0 {# j1 @) His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; z4 _1 J# Y' p2 w" y5 `
/ U' u+ {- y9 k3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 H3 K0 G7 m( `% I0 s5 B7 U
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- V7 M, O) y' O- X% A
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- j: D- W$ h, g. @3 |0 T- qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# Z. Q8 B8 V$ f) m- J$ ]$ p7 m0 Jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ V) s" q; G7 Z/ z8 k
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 d9 x0 w8 |, s& G7 e& M& m
cussed out, and possibly shot.; k' ^" n l6 n1 u2 w% a9 H. {
}4 X' s2 [2 Q! c% ^5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( M- t9 Y# P9 J1 }& n0 D: ican get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. o7 _: ?4 M9 v- ] ]+ E/ xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: t6 V! \* T/ t' K( n$ `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 `2 g" v$ Y: y5 B
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 B2 ?) I$ J' n3 S
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, J6 K9 j2 a7 N! U P5 D x
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) o p0 V$ q/ ^) ]& S0 V' s2 `
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( M: T) O" ~ u/ t5 H
the same road.5 h8 K8 ~3 W8 _- H6 j* d
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 _6 k# U. H* F6 q/ Q/ Z: j" u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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; Z _2 t z* N$ o10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* u7 z$ w& q- Z& r+ ]' [# y, y
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# x+ h2 |5 O0 E. G; f Iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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- Q! X1 S& V L. C7 V6 {' c% x11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur; }7 n! C5 c+ ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
I' n# B; {0 l2 p2 K' @5 cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 C; ~& Y h% Q# @1 p7 g$ a
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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