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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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! e2 x  k) k( ]' G 1. Bring your own house.+ L6 g, p8 _* r0 |$ O; G

2 J4 l. x- n6 B  e( a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 H/ m' y& c4 B8 v+ `+ O. d# j2 T
hospital.# y. m- B1 {2 U+ t2 \  n4 Q0 Q4 M, |

( P) e  ^# L* u3 G% x6 B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ H2 i; T' z! Q- Z4 J3 x. Wcapital of Canada .5 ^* K9 a; ^" B0 \% P; i; d
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 X: b4 r) A% }2 f5 d/ Q3 w
capital of Canada .
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; p9 E( q& h& r 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ U" a" D& |, f, f% W# ?  g7 t
$8.00/hour.0 \" U+ ^+ N1 n: ?' c. k

& G  N& D  D( L: y7 \3 J 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) W* M. e( U% A$ U" b* a' [. G' H
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& ^* R0 b/ ?$ o  L8 V) [, N& p
on a 15 year holiday ?9 Z& @5 k( A) Y& Q* e
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# g% K8 {" y% ]. k" A! v' S+ V
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come- B3 S% J" F6 |7 m# J2 }2 a
here sick.& g' S5 R7 J3 o7 Q# ?8 Z; f
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" J# L+ O( D) ^$ N+ l
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" L, W/ o' M- Y+ q- i5 y5 d THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 Y5 C! I6 P) @( o4 m, I# }! \6 ^

% z+ L  r, y2 ]7 g  V0 t0 D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! Y. b5 I2 A2 p5 L0 {# j1 @) His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; z4 _1 J# Y' p2 w" y5 `

/ U' u+ {- y9 k3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 H3 K0 G7 m( `% I0 s5 B7 U
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- V7 M, O) y' O- X% A
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- j: D- W$ h, g. @3 |0 T- qgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# Z. Q8 B8 V$ f) m- J$ ]$ p7 m0 Jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ V) s" q; G7 Z/ z8 k
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 d9 x0 w8 |, s& G7 e& M& m
cussed out, and possibly shot.; k' ^" n  l6 n1 u2 w% a9 H. {

  }4 X' s2 [2 Q! c% ^5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( M- t9 Y# P9 J1 }& n0 D: ican get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. o7 _: ?4 M9 v- ]  ]+ E/ xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: t6 V! \* T/ t' K( n$ `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 `2 g" v$ Y: y5 B
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 B2 ?) I$ J' n3 S
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,  J6 K9 j2 a7 N! U  P5 D  x
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) o  p0 V$ q/ ^) ]& S0 V' s2 `
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( M: T) O" ~  u/ t5 H
the same road.5 h8 K8 ~3 W8 _- H6 j* d
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 _6 k# U. H* F6 q/ Q/ Z: j" u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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; Z  _2 t  z* N$ o10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* u7 z$ w& q- Z& r+ ]' [# y, y
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# x+ h2 |5 O0 E. G; f  Iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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- Q! X1 S& V  L. C7 V6 {' c% x11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur; }7 n! C5 c+ ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
  I' n# B; {0 l2 p2 K' @5 cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 C; ~& Y  h% Q# @1 p7 g$ a
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。& [) G2 r- o" x& }9 O" W
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
  b8 q$ ~9 x/ P5 ?, y/ o; Q有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 & \( w1 g) r, U6 W8 K3 Q5 v  T
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。$ |  {9 F3 z' m* r
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。+ k" U* a* Q% r; A9 v
...
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  @* @& ~/ I2 h/ Y% m 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 / k1 v3 b3 _# @" Y- R. a1 q
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
- m( z' P1 ~3 S6 s朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
" F4 A1 y9 C+ s; j3 O满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
理袁律师事务所
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