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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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- K* F+ ~% s0 \. n! H# f 1. Bring your own house.
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5 v) J* L$ m1 Q" K( N+ p$ Y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 M8 `0 Y1 I/ h/ |7 y6 j4 Qhospital.
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: Z3 F* x. y# i3 B8 o 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; n, L1 T! z; C( a5 j/ jcapital of Canada .
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5 W3 y! e( p/ Y% }! h% p; q7 P 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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- Q3 n/ ?& T- [+ }+ ?7 O7 M 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- b& Q. G' n# U  q8 Ecapital of Canada ." X6 {- \% g# i7 k) N% S

- [2 K0 m/ \. F7 E8 `$ k  ~+ A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 ?) V+ E- E' }4 _" L) }2 B
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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. \2 ]7 k2 s$ l, W0 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
' @1 B$ ]* \$ R! F" Mon a 15 year holiday ?! t- O) A8 [  j! Z8 {1 w' T# n0 k+ D8 P
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 R9 a4 v/ K* ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 c% J7 b; U9 g4 Q
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 [! H/ q! `0 O, _, K
here sick.5 v( V& Y, V, L2 G7 z: o- b
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 h! b0 J- g1 A/ U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.: ~! X4 K* C9 t0 v

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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. j; d+ {  T- a8 Y! ^1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour; n: n. w% f! |' _- Q* M3 f7 X# d/ [' n
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# G  q. W" c; G, g
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ q4 @' v3 F" M9 L, Z1 Z( ^own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" e7 d5 ]) s2 c) f9 U$ i% E" Hmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* E' f* G4 f( J5 Z1 w: w
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell# l. L6 I: C# `0 Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ z  q3 }" m6 }4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 R( v) ^7 Z% V4 u/ ~0 z( b
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! |6 T' }6 C- _5 u, |can get you shot.
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3 K5 O1 S& j; L- {6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( l* R1 |5 z2 g( v# Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( h: g! R- `3 s" J) I4 Uday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 g& }5 e" i: G* c6 gmore construction starts everyday.+ ~8 l7 R. J6 q/ X0 B

  r# m/ f$ f8 x. \  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 C! j8 r( n) ?1 @- O0 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," W8 o1 v6 v0 M/ F
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 T3 z  W+ v$ Q6 L( I) O4 n

) Q8 D; y5 o, ^8 M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& i' Z, j3 H( \the same road.
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3 O( N- ]9 f- \- @+ c- w! p$ S9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- s& X: C) P+ f( _, O, Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
! `6 q: o* @8 A: V* Zactivated."
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/ y: l* L! k' G0 Z+ }2 d, y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) Y5 M8 {& l3 g5 W# lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! q; U- S; u0 N2 H) C! t1 Taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; y5 D2 s; @' r- E% n+ q6 h
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! O4 V/ g+ m; ~lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) E$ S2 Q0 q, q+ j3 X: \blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 u% i7 _- M$ e& j
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' F6 N3 F& d3 M0 w/ W满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
) {9 f4 Q" V% g8 E& J3 n9 q0 }7 c有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : % J+ g* T5 x7 Q; O2 r+ P( k
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 - M! }# c) I; V0 S# S' V
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ T7 v$ }& S3 ]9 d4 W满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 a9 F" u6 H) w' J1 @! a0 o' B
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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* ?( W1 }" F1 l! ~) V; E 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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2 `9 r- k* m  D0 c( m: x( q这么刺痛你了吗?
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0 r( g" }2 l7 _$ t9 D+ R3 w/ G我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ! a+ ^, y* C7 O7 @
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
; L2 y; k; k, f: N; i& C满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。6 x* U3 @9 [, f2 C
...

" ^# ?5 e0 E) s1 f3 y' V' R" q- v你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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) B  u9 Z% q/ Z; r" H, b再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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