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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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' P+ D/ A& P( o7 r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
1 |5 h6 X5 z9 p. \, Uhospital.
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2 d& P1 Y7 h; W/ U- x$ O 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' n5 y ]; G, r3 V! c
capital of Canada .+ G+ I0 z2 o) x
1 A* R3 Y3 _) k 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; H) K/ N1 F" P+ F
( p1 F, s( b) U+ Q; X6 f3 w 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 ?$ \8 ?- T' Z' ]3 |+ f" `) _
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." M% m- }& [+ m, s: n
4 D( {! U) y; w5 @ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 _0 O1 |/ J$ hon a 15 year holiday ?) l' S/ A" Q, Z4 [/ k
" T, _6 s$ g% I K( Q8 K) u 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; }" D; P2 P5 V, C9 Jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), `/ T5 x4 b+ h9 C" G4 }, k& A8 O
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) e+ `$ _7 h% V$ w |9 A. J: T' o
here sick.8 }* R9 F9 X$ |& r. \) O
4 C% K% h" s+ ~# h' }+ W11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# k& a+ Y) p1 t2 B- {9 e: Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ _$ b5 n6 B1 [& C: O
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 C: i$ @! L) |6 D/ R' Z7 T
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. _ r8 p: S6 s+ V
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
; p9 D' Q& _9 d wis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 ]* J( `; O% q. c$ M5 w/ g# O2 Mown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: G9 T8 v& O8 i: @muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
c6 l' \+ Q1 M' {2 @; Mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
+ g1 w' d/ H; A# F+ T1 O, ~1 S5 G5 Uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ S3 ~0 d- A: M2 t8 N% g4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: J6 b( h' u( [) s: q" _/ n
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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; \# I& a* t/ I& p, |) w4 @5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) c) i5 L# I; M, e9 Y* ~9 S! ^; F b
can get you shot.* E) K9 t' T. L6 J8 t
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
: }. e+ o/ J# W) |0 Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
) K; n; D, b5 x. ~1 ?; Qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, P- j* \* d( v- _0 _7 Dmore construction starts everyday.- C! h- j+ j/ [1 `
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# m# |" v0 w. r' M7 kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ G8 I2 ?! h( j& h; \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 Z, O. m! w9 O; C
: i; x( a4 S4 j9 T$ {8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 c, \/ ?% l* r: M8 s3 J; t* z
the same road.
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- [+ K! B* W0 F; X, [9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 ?7 ^/ I/ O3 L3 W Z6 m A
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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5 C. M P( T! d7 G! s/ S10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 R% V J& p% s6 G$ G! nzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", O! f1 e! T. E' J9 V" n2 D
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% I0 r! ~. o! V11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* Q4 |8 {+ v; v% l: O0 j2 ^
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ m8 ]$ i4 z( t7 V7 u, |; d( ^blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" Q# x6 h4 o& X# O- lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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