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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 P; |) Z- Q3 ?
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1. Bring your own house.+ [4 ~' W) I5 s
0 a$ y- m" R3 r9 u' r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and/ j0 {* @5 O) T/ o2 \
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) U% T9 {( i/ N$ c* z; o- J. U" C
capital of Canada .8 e8 a% ]6 R3 D9 L6 M3 A6 o
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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6 h ?5 l' ~4 \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( f! Y" u! @/ ], w$ i! Q
capital of Canada ./ H1 ^7 L5 k6 t6 l, o
& O" z! X' y/ W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is0 M; M- u% I0 X6 S( w7 \
$8.00/hour.
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\8 c2 i7 a# G1 e+ K' r5 t5 k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, ]. ^5 L8 E" c }$ Bon a 15 year holiday ?$ B! z) h! ?; @ [% ?
8 Z9 ]7 F1 I5 ^* z 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas* z; L$ I! D) a0 k4 `
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ z4 O2 U5 _9 [0 F: ]* R
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
* m. T& L9 a0 B1 Yhere sick.
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0 `) ^( e# G4 j( Q1 N+ B: Y8 K11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 \" A K( f# d& \8 Y myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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! c5 z5 v3 e+ O& P THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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' Y# Z% q' W5 w% ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 J7 A$ R# u3 R* W4 fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 ]8 q: s# d2 ~; d
! R9 {5 L3 p# ?1 O* x* y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, ]( j9 ^; |& w- b. M3 n
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, K/ [ j9 y9 l/ W" gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ B6 W6 K& Z7 z5 y, V, S0 ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ ]" s' J T) q9 J8 w6 ?& N. y* D) fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 [$ e$ q8 w' e, E6 I8 K
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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: [5 x X9 z5 A4 r: b5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ U/ Y- t6 [* Q# M( X/ N
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 Q$ z3 d6 s$ w& p. \: X
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 I6 t! ~! _4 ^) b7 _* W2 X) w# sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 w* l9 I5 A: X# `( c1 t9 M$ S
more construction starts everyday., c& l/ E8 f) a
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- E. O% }5 K8 J* Z' A9 O" G9 l" K
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 r3 G- G- T& x8 t4 K5 }
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 q% P: W* L8 ^; c6 T
the same road.5 f9 v. m6 c6 @8 _. m
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" { S/ O s) D1 E5 C
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally7 H3 {3 d* i8 J
activated."3 O* }' U( f# A, Q: o
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* j& ?' ?6 X" {: a/ v8 T6 m
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
! a1 L# A: {0 @accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 P" ?$ t, [! s6 klined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 o2 h; b' X$ d }: r1 u: t% Zblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
, [& ~9 Q3 F. V! v; Nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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