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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 V# o. a) K. D6 O7 V- U' ^9 ^9 \0 J8 u
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+ a; G4 @& a: I. X# Q, Q 1. Bring your own house.% U5 K* b3 E! }% m. T
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 o1 E! R, E7 L8 H( E( i* |
hospital./ [& h v) H* a$ q3 m
+ w! s, L: }* r" w( E% k 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
+ h. P- g- l$ ~7 i1 Z- vcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5 U s5 V9 ~: \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ v: |* M. e8 C2 _ N3 b, @
capital of Canada ." m3 z/ m. A9 A' A$ W% F- P) ?
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is4 F0 y3 d. v% C* u
$8.00/hour.9 [2 W2 N" a% [* ]! D
0 `# J1 f) O6 F3 Q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 ~! t" a/ p: V
on a 15 year holiday ?
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3 c( D- q D% E$ h 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
* X1 O: I( }) `+ x5 Bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 S% L9 Q/ ]" c+ t# T0 D/ n! ]$ n10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 o1 s9 x; F$ [1 j4 ahere sick.
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1 U, o# @! @. w, g- f) M" S! k% g1 u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! _, Z# h% u; w4 }# \- x
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' n- Y% k/ H% C$ j+ r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 V4 D# q7 i. K# d! E- r2 o0 N! r1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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3 p: \) S6 s& K$ v: G" z* [: K2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 l; Z& ?! {7 ~+ fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 V1 R. f" g" w9 F3 gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest9 L3 [1 t9 T. _1 q/ r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires P. F. ~6 C; b$ n. z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 M _& @! x- ]5 K3 Lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ |8 X$ U/ x1 C3 r" w4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ `' I1 W+ ?2 @& E" Y. k9 h
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" h4 K4 \+ O& W- n" n5 q
can get you shot.
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1 K1 d1 U1 I+ Q9 W9 V* p6 W6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 ?' @+ G2 q1 m$ T; ~% ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 S( z% O% c, k" v3 |day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% L' x' ]& z4 K- _
more construction starts everyday.) y" Y4 ?9 M0 f9 j( X
- N. k, t) P2 {6 _ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 K4 a5 A& q3 j5 a3 `deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% t6 k) m# R& ^' H5 f1 m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
3 G @ v* q& y" Zthe same road./ D1 s2 R* I+ a
0 |+ w' I1 w$ P6 q9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 X1 _, f7 v2 Y. ~; _+ H# bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 @/ R: X$ r% f' a& e& u
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 F! R3 n/ z3 H4 C6 P4 Z& ~8 l/ |2 [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 a: G9 H) g# d7 _, @& n& u; f
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ h* G/ r$ L" j6 F, J5 e
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# m6 A6 M0 U/ `) H1 M# j% \7 R7 B
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' z1 p7 i' e/ T% {5 G
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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