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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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7 Y7 i: v' J1 ` 1. Bring your own house.1 l' @; g8 @* Z( I6 W+ C
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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/ ~( B* D& j1 `6 _/ q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
) w( V$ n3 f& y5 Y, s L6 ?/ y+ gcapital of Canada .
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% L( H; j0 @4 M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 e8 e% t1 L/ I* F% ^* \; m% W
capital of Canada .
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' u4 v4 F) _2 _5 ^. r5 J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ y% j: z+ y3 W R$8.00/hour.
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9 {/ P3 P5 X9 v, o" @; H, g" j3 M5 g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; v* Y" b5 j3 Y% E) j# \+ o1 k 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 J/ b; G! b, n
on a 15 year holiday ?( t2 ?% B) m1 Q1 f2 [* F0 [2 T
H3 z5 r4 `3 L1 v& X( j1 ~& k9 D 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ Y( ]/ ]$ n, b, Q( { b* eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 x T7 r8 r. @- x+ W. L: r0 k4 d( S10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 q+ {/ {/ R3 R
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 F5 c! E. J! M8 H% k9 m2 cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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/ o) m6 d1 ~$ k9 S! }( t THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 W# a. d# L! p* z/ c; z
- c7 U( K: o& t- m- _# h1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".; t; S% y. H0 N2 ]/ w6 B
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour O( K/ [: ^: O/ K7 U* h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ G3 D$ F4 j7 k) t% W2 q3 n( \+ L5 V3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: e3 F/ w7 \: L6 w9 r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' B' i# M w9 f- n$ x3 f. Qmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 n, C4 n. o4 K& I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
A+ u! J7 F+ W5 _( {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ {6 c& B9 G' k9 j
4 Z* D! i; I! Y' B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: n- ^! u& M* c# L) h8 e- ^4 ?
cussed out, and possibly shot.' a9 N6 p3 U! g; z7 q! R x
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
* S8 T3 Y: o& ^+ ~' Z ?can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 _- b$ n' [! k! Q; u" r6 d, Ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" L) L- Y$ x9 u8 p/ rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 K% ]9 _$ {6 J, g3 F
more construction starts everyday." _# Q6 c: e( f5 L* S$ D
3 ~: w7 Y6 o% T1 t/ n 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' W% B$ o4 t9 j% i. ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; s# Q, f- _! @4 L6 B/ L$ w& q% E. ~
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' {; H4 q) h2 u
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ p p5 ^, o" V) |; g3 X1 Y2 B
the same road.8 z! B: C: z5 v* _. o
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" q3 S3 \) ^$ i7 d5 Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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9 Y, X2 E" p6 \3 j/ A h10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 M& k0 P8 V; ]+ w/ Hzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 w/ @* m4 j( ^* c, Q" f! ?& Saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 [% O5 W0 w8 A! K6 P
- ?: B4 L" \5 v2 e% e; X8 s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 P2 t: S0 {1 A# _+ P
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) Z ?4 \2 s" [& ]3 @! W* yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ D: _* k/ ~ R, f7 {$ b& Z- e
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
