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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- o3 F. [2 X' E# P4 I+ A
hospital.! R- g' X4 l. _/ X" l$ Y0 R. D
8 t" g: r* L/ V) I7 A1 b1 P2 R; } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# |7 v% Q4 _: \9 F ~
capital of Canada .. W& ^% f. r, `
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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+ l5 k7 m. z; G3 l: ?5 J+ o 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug' c' A% I' w& u. g# D" H
capital of Canada .
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9 A I+ ]3 a. f7 e 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% F8 g6 t5 l* C5 M9 X; ?% G( u
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 M+ v! M5 {4 x! X) P
7 v; z* i8 ^( {6 D# l" C' _: a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 Z# [0 {0 c$ ]0 I% w
on a 15 year holiday ?3 X2 z* Z1 @1 o. a' b7 Z
0 d7 Q4 A4 J8 t4 y* i6 v 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( W( I; S& P3 {$ \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) i) Q9 h9 b5 Z4 f8 R) H! r# T# B. ]
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) j/ u# S1 c% P$ Z" }1 N/ B" E) s
here sick., \2 u6 q. r7 r
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ P& `* e, F* [ L9 s. w# F' Byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' {' o" T' W- ~1 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 {/ Q: b" e& A4 h0 _2 D
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! Z% m! \" F/ gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% R* O, I6 w7 C4 P4 t
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) B! I6 ?- P3 N6 e% o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( H% T. H" P8 ]; smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, u7 d7 o2 H5 m8 `go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 u& C. O* I2 B) F2 p$ G
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 U; y2 N; b, a1 _
% y3 |7 N. ~5 r' Z5 r4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" x4 D1 H4 G6 n' }3 b6 _+ r( \cussed out, and possibly shot.) t( m6 Z- F" E. g$ @& G
* l! k( j) M+ U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 b' W' v& j$ D/ s
can get you shot.
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! @- e$ A1 u3 ~6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 n6 E+ w1 S1 Z& L/ H9 T8 G
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday./ ]' r: Q1 S1 w: }+ \* U# y) m
1 G' D* Z1 S1 \! E- S5 q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: [, ~1 `' y& B1 Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 T$ I4 w/ Y2 ^ m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 G$ o- Z$ G6 E+ c
; v, u- s k2 w8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, U- L! E3 @+ Z7 q. p3 fthe same road.
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f( I, E( M' T% w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: c2 j5 ^) j6 x/ Jshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' z! F5 Q" r8 I
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* D# K. i: S- o. @: L& a0 i
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, o) o0 N7 d. h, O; D# ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- m- P. P3 |( `" N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% J8 r. ^) Y/ h' Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
