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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. ^1 h0 P* R. t# N$ ~2 U) x# m: W/ t
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7 X& M/ E/ Z! w. @$ D) L 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
7 l9 o- ~1 o! K% t$ j# Zhospital.
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& D3 }7 N" W0 I+ Y. W) `( v; z X$ C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ P d$ D% T: X3 J! z. t
capital of Canada .0 W1 E3 c8 h: R- y: t/ S3 I8 E9 L
; \8 c3 v# X" P ? H* J 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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9 _" S2 P1 E6 ~! f' N' |9 s4 ?* D9 @ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! t! _" ~0 v- r0 E9 B9 ], ?
capital of Canada .
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/ ^; z7 h Y$ l0 B" [/ p7 M* F# w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ u, ^( ?( m R2 a, w* z$8.00/hour.
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+ u% o( k; f6 _7 z" ~ N7 r1 I 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 j3 ?1 U$ T+ X8 O 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( q1 U: `8 J: s: R. ton a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ I7 x; J# W( G$ p4 Yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; I' a& r8 j: f' Z0 H# y( r
here sick.. M$ c! X+ Y! |" `/ H
$ a7 y) z, c+ Z& ]$ G7 s {. r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: P2 o" N' P5 r1 V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 l% _9 v0 M9 I: L- g! [
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 C0 {* ^ u1 o. ] `
. r5 I7 V2 A6 H; e5 w5 E1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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' E9 s0 W! J8 J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: d' A2 E2 C4 k) Z1 B
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( z; V4 {& F* }6 y% P. n* w( v
2 }* k5 ~, Q5 n8 a {7 d4 M2 K* _3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ l1 e# d! z7 u8 t5 r: s7 y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ Q6 L8 U* N1 g6 q2 D1 t5 z; G9 B: Umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires; c0 [+ o1 T) @$ X
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ b2 w) `# I* @/ f Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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) b/ R$ p9 E) E6 `# t& j1 x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 }6 m7 S' }0 o, c
cussed out, and possibly shot.9 w2 D0 }0 `$ e% X
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
; L/ |# f( T% \# D/ hcan get you shot. ^) G. d3 x; f/ W
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour1 a8 i1 Q3 g# \% P
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! n$ ?3 {7 |1 @5 O- P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- j( M* ~, P0 r: Qmore construction starts everyday.
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, J* }( q& J7 i! \ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 e+ O8 X- {* S! i
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! s" e% I+ x9 V/ P9 q {
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% B1 T5 k; ^7 w4 t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 B3 u; B* e+ @/ Cthe same road.& l f: t8 `* f& C
& U5 e. S; [- X9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% m& h( ?/ @% p) A" b
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 U& J3 \) E7 k" T3 Q: T
activated."3 ?. ?7 h: z8 @8 {8 f
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 m% o# y9 F! g3 @7 x
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' `4 {4 T6 S! z4 _3 zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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' |. S$ B5 D0 U: E3 x$ C) v8 k11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: ~- A& X$ Y c- Clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- f$ d2 C. ^9 B& b
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ a1 p" N) I" A8 N- p7 ?6 e# }* _
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
