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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; d8 J7 B' D2 }3 Q2 \  |; d
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0 v' _1 ^" j  B/ \0 {" i 1. Bring your own house.' [7 `3 ]; [) s4 L. I6 Z- [8 u

: X0 e! i) X/ n2 S1 U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ ]# N  i5 _  Z- l8 X6 C
hospital.
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: v' M" k+ n" _( X1 } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 [/ b( g; O1 O: M7 f& tcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 F& H) @" o8 T+ [+ O& S
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 q* X; p) p/ h- [
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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4 z( z  _# L  z, b. Q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; P, z+ n" H" Y' r7 \$ e. ?4 f. O
on a 15 year holiday ?# i3 u# w2 I: Q; c) v5 D' q4 O* i
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' A( m( g+ I/ Q, T& _: w1 wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): m. w" i# x8 _

* `4 s. k- u& ~' E) h10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 F! ~$ C, j, D8 H' m3 s8 s/ mhere sick.1 T) j" J) m6 p; e! ~5 Y9 Q
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
% l2 s* U# ^. lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.  p; m* I3 u- o5 O. C

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5 i& e: {7 m; x! c/ n THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: x: |1 Z& p$ g  I5 T5 [is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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" B$ H9 _0 o, K# w9 _4 h3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( Y3 j" U. l  uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: D5 v+ j; s" ^4 Pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires' l$ y- [& H5 {/ K. y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 e. R8 A% |1 R7 s2 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) \7 t- g! o& Lcussed out, and possibly shot.; S7 a; U, l" L/ J8 @& G7 @; Q
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: a5 \# M' r$ U* f& u, P4 x
can get you shot.2 A$ C7 x" t  d" S' T7 I# [

" H) x3 ~% @6 Q3 F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, ^. k# U) l8 `! _# Rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: q  L5 _4 H9 T; n; ^4 s+ Wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! T* i2 U% p8 ^. ?  xmore construction starts everyday.
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- L: `# |7 ?) Y% n  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 _) U" t: I/ m* p5 r/ y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# |. \, P" r& U) _. p1 C
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' W1 E) `5 C7 L- Y5 k
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% @. k3 y1 _/ v4 j( A( [
the same road., j3 o: }1 }! B) I1 o, m
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 p& ^  ?  b) l2 n" b% C
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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- ?( V( L$ {. i2 n6 h, Z9 k6 x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( n5 P+ T/ t! i& E- ]+ Rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": C; U, X- o6 @
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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& D/ z( f" n! b: h11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ L& I. x" L6 e2 ?( R" W  \" C
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! a" j# ?6 ~; C" E0 k
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 m8 a( d' x, I5 F" Ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

% E' Z( |8 `  T% N0 K/ m) J. z有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。' X" N& Q! `8 D( w
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。; u3 _$ @9 s5 A6 F/ }& Q1 P
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
1 p7 E2 P; T. i, M4 u0 `朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。' ^- d( `+ K% U  X# q5 G( T3 G
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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  O( D! G- U% y9 c3 ] 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 ; P( a- P- l7 X/ H3 N
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9 e, a" D# O4 j3 l2 j 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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' @- B  D2 d7 f4 w7 K6 H4 c- Z这么刺痛你了吗?+ W5 ~3 Y  @  D$ g6 l5 B
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 5 m' `% h, k, h: }  B  u; y8 s8 n
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。  U2 k# f# s9 \. I( _
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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  b* g  U6 N: |' ]5 s再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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