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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, A4 L, u$ M* E0 [2 a
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& f. @6 j. v. |! Z ]' f; o 1. Bring your own house.& H" U1 m! O: \ v( s# ]
( u" m% b' }. @3 }5 f. C. P0 v' X 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' _6 R5 I" o( k' V
hospital.; ^1 i* ~! \, d5 g, j" o9 K. X
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 x i, g: a# Y: T `
capital of Canada ." S: f8 I7 |8 G
: E7 ^; X5 y5 f, B& l9 N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! x! [7 B/ l* U( t
8 D# s6 ^: ?1 A s' s" b# P# y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
a$ T! ~( o0 B8 B7 w# p- fcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" G. K7 }( [% B
$8.00/hour.+ A5 B% {! x$ ^9 i3 T, H; d
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 X4 V( C2 a4 y N
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" }" ?: q9 f' P/ S4 Non a 15 year holiday ?% a6 k' d( E- _# _
' ]; I& [8 a' J a( Z5 T& A# k 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 }+ l4 M4 Q5 e& Zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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, s! j4 G* E! ^" l& i10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 {$ U7 ~4 d" shere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ K/ j) W5 P. Y; \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; |" v/ n, j9 q) D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 \+ H p6 s0 q, p
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. Z& ~) Y: V$ c8 j ^
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ ]/ e, l+ s2 H) g
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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6 N" ^/ D& K/ ]6 C' O. A3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 X# H$ N' I9 c2 D0 R2 w0 Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 X/ m, ?3 R( `+ f
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; P4 ~1 h2 U0 t3 Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 {7 d( V+ i& X, w' _2 Mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 B2 S7 R; i* Q1 `, }, p
& V) L" y8 H4 j- r1 D9 Z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 ?! w; s# ]! r. B' V6 S
cussed out, and possibly shot.% c# h+ f# g* E5 d9 T2 G. p+ J
) M2 l* p) ]# M8 d+ u2 Z5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ b. {* V% `0 P+ A+ M1 i
can get you shot.
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: M9 R. K& |! L3 b9 B6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" s2 O2 r* \2 B7 \: r* N6 `1 D3 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! h( f. V |- t$ h1 E5 Q: }3 k3 `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and8 B% J! @6 @5 I3 _1 T$ n
more construction starts everyday.: H* i: i: ^; t& k& P
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: w! |( I$ `2 w4 ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; ^ }3 r+ b! a- x- L/ o% [5 ~7 W" a
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 m0 B6 d! h8 ]
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& o9 A, O8 z0 @0 }9 h0 O% Sthe same road., _7 h$ }6 a2 A3 V6 L3 O4 T
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
; J8 ~; v4 ~$ f* Nshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' H6 I+ Z/ y8 Z3 T3 D# q6 ]3 Y
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 r6 X+ B! y# |$ U& u/ fzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, [( E. Y+ C) r4 Q; naccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 v! k2 F, ~: V0 l11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur8 J3 p1 c2 e/ }- Q& ?) d6 j/ m% q- d0 I
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- k9 {2 y! i7 i' \; Q+ vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 A2 E+ E7 t3 M5 ~9 L( S7 O, lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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