 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# a' B6 ^# @: G9 p8 q6 f5 B# \
& i* V; j F9 c) T" H
: \& Q; ~& Z' b0 Z
7 P" o! X+ E( S5 R4 q: d6 m$ u 1. Bring your own house.
7 y5 N6 C3 l x4 B8 ^
: z& B& | I# q6 i& i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- T+ ?) ~/ G8 a" g$ H$ ?
hospital.# U% v0 j/ ?2 R
8 G0 p# ?% D: ]8 x 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder7 M W' a$ t5 O& i
capital of Canada .( ~$ C/ l* x: r) P( ~. W
! x% ~# T Y7 H& E' K 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
5 F; k+ k: ]- g; F ^9 W) Z( A$ I( L4 C X: \
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 J; T% F1 l/ y' A" u4 Vcapital of Canada .
& H( w: U* |* v, e- _
" s, T' q" b5 E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& a8 M A/ P" x: T$ Y
$8.00/hour.
8 C6 ?( ~1 H, b1 b
- T( M1 T+ f, ?# C& x4 V$ i 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 ?9 w- @6 u9 B2 Z
+ `$ L5 g: T8 P& R
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 O) l8 \( Z4 s! t9 \
on a 15 year holiday ?" N1 q- ?- w3 g9 v; i# o
3 m: n& ]. T! Q
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, E2 t3 B3 K6 D- ~7 z4 eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 a6 n/ t. z& j+ y; E0 e9 a! v
7 P e; v' M0 J. v) ?; j) Y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ R6 V: i5 I# ahere sick.
+ y5 b0 f8 `0 g* W
N- T( M% ~7 k9 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 S' [5 p V' a+ _/ C* W1 ?7 U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
6 W; b5 [! {2 H- V1 ?0 x7 u8 o+ {$ x7 e+ m" v
1 r- i3 q0 \$ ?! l! x; E1 c3 m
4 j% o0 B' H( a6 f5 F: U2 `# ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
* N# K' G2 s$ X5 F# [, p, O9 I( D: h! ]+ `3 N x3 J) C
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 v; c9 Z1 F9 {. K& U1 f4 ?
* V/ u9 O4 J0 O2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" K) a2 M5 l0 \, q! p/ _/ N2 k4 Ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ ]% R6 D' K: o9 C% P9 I2 t
1 d- G& i _% @1 R
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 O% w4 l' Z- ^) w7 |6 kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) p7 Q; c8 c7 W% T @. P& Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ Y3 Q. P& I5 \1 L1 L+ ]# n6 [1 t) @go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell V1 L! \1 H; P* m0 V: N, t+ p3 Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ t! S8 ]: I. h8 O+ _4 W
i9 y6 X( D$ N9 `/ F/ I- ^ H+ D
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 r1 f: H! w& q" x, X5 w8 Z
cussed out, and possibly shot.
7 T# C# u" e$ C
8 y' b# K" M! x. S T5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 K5 Z5 C& z! kcan get you shot.
, @& m/ y% P4 n p0 z {8 U' x
5 [( E7 _- S i+ V6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ L( c" J2 @9 `# B8 I* e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next" T! ^7 b& o, l; g4 h
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 O4 S, M' e+ ~" e6 I2 `! f* q, V, L! Umore construction starts everyday.* V2 N) \. a" h0 v' t+ b; h
6 @1 j( x3 ~& @- ] 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# Q. x8 s$ K9 A. e- |# \' v# R/ p! H8 j
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# J+ Q4 |. P |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., Z2 |2 O( i; _9 j3 d$ q/ ?; e
- ?+ r. w8 x8 ~* C3 c
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
T7 c2 v4 Y. [9 nthe same road.3 _, B: n- h7 p/ j2 r* T: s
& _% X8 M6 L2 o/ G( j( x
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) N. d8 c+ A% u* h* o" P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
, D: N! }& T8 [1 |6 ~" Aactivated."# g7 \" N1 i, Q0 o
. ~$ R, I0 b A1 r2 P7 q
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
/ Z# t2 k) Y$ W; Q; Yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 g2 j6 _% ~; U6 `1 N; V) q0 v
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. n+ o) X+ k& w- B7 S% X/ z
4 x# H: S4 c& T9 j, F
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" A0 o$ L& I S7 U; T' k0 z# B
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 Z: g, j, G# U9 d% m3 _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# s O. }, w) j. D) ? i
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
1 h: j9 o( S1 u8 s
. K% x2 U" L8 |: {# Z& ~
