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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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7 Y7 i: v' J1 ` 1. Bring your own house.1 l' @; g8 @* Z( I6 W+ C
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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/ ~( B* D& j1 `6 _/ q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
) w( V$ n3 f& y5 Y, s  L6 ?/ y+ gcapital of Canada .
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% L( H; j0 @4 M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 e8 e% t1 L/ I* F% ^* \; m% W
capital of Canada .
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' u4 v4 F) _2 _5 ^. r5 J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ y% j: z+ y3 W  R$8.00/hour.
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9 {/ P3 P5 X9 v, o" @; H, g" j3 M5 g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; v* Y" b5 j3 Y% E) j# \+ o1 k 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 J/ b; G! b, n
on a 15 year holiday ?( t2 ?% B) m1 Q1 f2 [* F0 [2 T

  H3 z5 r4 `3 L1 v& X( j1 ~& k9 D 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ Y( ]/ ]$ n, b, Q( {  b* eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 x  T7 r8 r. @- x+ W. L: r0 k4 d( S10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 q+ {/ {/ R3 R
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 F5 c! E. J! M8 H% k9 m2 cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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/ o) m6 d1 ~$ k9 S! }( t THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 W# a. d# L! p* z/ c; z

- c7 U( K: o& t- m- _# h1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".; t; S% y. H0 N2 ]/ w6 B
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour  O( K/ [: ^: O/ K7 U* h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ G3 D$ F4 j7 k) t% W2 q3 n( \+ L5 V3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: e3 F/ w7 \: L6 w9 r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' B' i# M  w9 f- n$ x3 f. Qmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 n, C4 n. o4 K& I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
  A+ u! J7 F+ W5 _( {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ {6 c& B9 G' k9 j

4 Z* D! i; I! Y' B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: n- ^! u& M* c# L) h8 e- ^4 ?
cussed out, and possibly shot.' a9 N6 p3 U! g; z7 q! R  x
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
* S8 T3 Y: o& ^+ ~' Z  ?can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 _- b$ n' [! k! Q; u" r6 d, Ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" L) L- Y$ x9 u8 p/ rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 K% ]9 _$ {6 J, g3 F
more construction starts everyday." _# Q6 c: e( f5 L* S$ D

3 ~: w7 Y6 o% T1 t/ n  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' W% B$ o4 t9 j% i. ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; s# Q, f- _! @4 L6 B/ L$ w& q% E. ~
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' {; H4 q) h2 u
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ p  p5 ^, o" V) |; g3 X1 Y2 B
the same road.8 z! B: C: z5 v* _. o
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" q3 S3 \) ^$ i7 d5 Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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9 Y, X2 E" p6 \3 j/ A  h10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 M& k0 P8 V; ]+ w/ Hzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
8 w/ @* m4 j( ^* c, Q" f! ?& Saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 [% O5 W0 w8 A! K6 P

- ?: B4 L" \5 v2 e% e; X8 s11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 P2 t: S0 {1 A# _+ P
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) Z  ?4 \2 s" [& ]3 @! W* yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ D: _* k/ ~  R, f7 {$ b& Z- e
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。! ^; C2 J5 e' D+ B/ b( Y4 r5 x
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
' R% Y+ R# G+ f1 `$ P有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : : n* j; z9 M) a# [- ^, y

3 u( b7 C0 o8 f/ ?* z$ ^$ F此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
4 B, C! }1 p1 O+ [朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
9 x2 p% e$ p# J1 w7 t满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。( f/ W5 }' h9 `0 g% q' h5 T
...
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* f7 ]3 c3 ~, I2 r/ S 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 8 `4 f, j$ f: F
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  ?8 `# e) K5 H  v7 Y+ r4 Z! [ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?6 p* a9 j6 B$ B$ ^% f

, A: z' n/ M+ g' c. ^我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ; y1 I- B# }- v7 r4 O1 G" N
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。9 C9 [# y( U0 W# I+ Y! q
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' F( ]! d1 @5 M& ^
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。; e, }0 H4 c( e& s' E7 h! v& r

1 B6 P( ^9 S; D, p再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.. @  i) r9 h4 H! N
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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