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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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& \' i0 H3 |! j- o, k; d 1. Bring your own house.
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+ ]. V& t, K4 G0 l8 o( d. O3 a5 a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and) \' S" I7 j( W
hospital.
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) E z* j* [6 c- ^ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder7 J0 l$ t t9 `% j( `2 p
capital of Canada .
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8 n6 A0 D. e6 h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) V5 o! A4 e; Z- u
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& f: J w, z0 e$ D. I6 ^- z6 a. Q
capital of Canada ." F: h8 o; B3 h
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 @1 ^- c. ?& p; t
$8.00/hour./ H) |1 q* ?0 I# c
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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4 x5 t2 r# w O! |9 e7 K; |" v5 W 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- u& W0 m9 ]5 i7 I bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 @& p* j3 g+ v7 M# ^. m5 W
: ~& Y6 R4 f0 P8 n4 v10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' V0 A- U. A( T" k$ h C
here sick.3 v/ n& u$ w5 @& ~7 u" c
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' L1 R% Q1 u2 m# Q" y6 K- Y8 l; L
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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2 K- [- @+ b( \9 Z. @& ^ H; r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" @' ~1 j8 U# \5 X
; y+ a) e6 `; h! \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ p9 {7 d# r( u4 m
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( {6 f( {8 y) S0 d: X4 q9 \& vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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7 x& h" Z+ |1 g8 K3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% @+ E* A4 d& v i: A+ ^% Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest; ]# I: g5 D: [% V1 v
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 I* S% z( \6 V }0 w) Cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 d3 t5 o" k4 k+ ?# ]4 jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ a' p4 S- G+ C' V2 u' N* \" b
& }3 r: R* i% e- E0 [1 z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,* t7 j4 V- l' C0 V% r
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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& N" o1 C$ |2 X4 y+ s1 Q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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' S/ `8 z8 I: B6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 Y( E: | l/ I, Z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 |& O0 x- x0 P \! }1 i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) o4 z0 H7 O( C9 }4 }
more construction starts everyday.. L7 w- J9 z M U+ V8 U
6 n9 _9 I8 z( i3 m; {+ ? 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 e7 W& a& g' z! S1 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& [7 j6 a: ]4 Asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; ]9 o9 V! Z( h5 X3 ^3 e3 P
' _; k, ]% l6 A5 \! L/ d) c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 R( T3 a: h. t7 h1 x3 Xthe same road.
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+ t7 M! ?( e# n3 m7 {3 _9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ I7 f# m' D& V
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 ]6 \4 x' _3 V& |( G
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& A- A) J' L3 a" T! B, r8 p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 G# j3 S4 m9 Y! e% blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 z/ S+ z2 e" w" L% bblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is9 m& v. ?. c8 o K, o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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