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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 ?- P  N( I& O9 G5 c
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 ~3 z9 A& E/ g
capital of Canada .2 J4 c: Z$ E4 \$ _- Q& v; E
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ D5 e- T/ [( f' g& g6 n5 a

! x: U( `% I: N1 g  Y/ V2 R* y7 K 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) Z9 V( m0 x) U
capital of Canada .4 `: n. X2 \: n5 i! P

! b) e, T- K( h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: M1 T- h; s1 Z: t* W1 m* X' X# x* J$8.00/hour.1 b5 K( T6 L% o

' V/ c* e2 O' q5 u 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 U4 R$ G; |" u5 l

* Q& y# @7 _' U/ t2 q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) m6 Y6 a1 j/ u  u# \2 p8 P$ n
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ U* M+ V. i6 A4 B
here sick.3 `; G9 x, h% _# B
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! x2 d) M6 Y: g# oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. T- k$ t0 t0 L# ^# y

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% L% F: s: v+ I; z+ H  j9 t: z( [5 L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." p/ i" R5 z7 f3 m! s

9 v8 m) J' @0 b2 W* a1 @2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' }2 S, l" y. @  }+ S! Bis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 Z. D: n6 }; q; a- R* b# }
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 {. I  l/ D6 }7 f# eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 F6 h% Q: s  a: v7 b2 ]4 o) e
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- q4 j- Z( n. J' t/ f) [go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 f: |. `6 m5 v5 t. q- Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., y  G& d4 ]6 w" x4 g3 o
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ H+ b& J% _  V# b3 o
cussed out, and possibly shot.7 _1 k4 ]4 J8 Y
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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- [& q; Q1 u' h4 Q3 e6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 f2 ^1 w% f/ d4 L- ]1 y9 n: n
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) L; N6 J8 G. t( P& y* `
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# z: a" K# H$ zmore construction starts everyday.& m" F- O0 p/ T

' f1 q5 m/ @: G0 s  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# C5 A+ V4 y9 U% \; J5 K, Z5 \: H+ W1 Wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. D- @& ~, s! `3 ~+ ?/ x
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% V! x1 ~2 X% n
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; w9 t! a0 q" f* @- G$ e/ Qthe same road.
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8 w5 L+ ?  w  C& h9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. k6 n  [0 F* g; Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" q) a8 a$ G9 E. y0 f5 b- e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' y( d  A; {$ u+ jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 S5 }' n# i% o
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' a' ]# d6 q7 a  x
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: \" U  v: o9 M9 Y# p7 x- F& qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ }3 j3 n% I# p3 _6 U% f
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

; r; e2 T  |3 ~/ w  |8 t- x+ c有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。8 B6 S' B! s) x- M2 }4 x
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
' a( t; d8 g) S- F有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来   N0 X) a0 |; }# _4 Q  l& f' ^

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8 M! V, F: _4 n[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
1 s. f# @7 Q1 L朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 h) I5 ?, B' m  w满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
8 [) ]/ G0 F& o ...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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! Q* ~1 V9 k1 f; A: _" V7 Q. u# G" ^! ]0 U 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表   t- r! h7 w. H, U/ l0 f9 H: @
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 T% M, U& J+ |& O. l6 Q- I% L满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。/ j7 @1 M, r8 i6 d9 [
...

* u& n# _. a' h+ E6 w2 `  G你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。; x6 }) r$ z/ ]9 v) ^! s3 M
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.- |) [4 ^; K, p# T
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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