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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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a1 ?$ D, H4 E/ W 1. Bring your own house.
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2 O+ z' ?4 s9 l# s$ J$ w5 {( Q1 v" h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
1 a1 T/ ~# L& ]3 p. `3 N$ M" M: mhospital.
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) w4 F1 `# Y# |' K4 h0 H; x 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, j: H T6 m: a( p( ]
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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S1 Y( W) y# ]' t! t0 O6 Z 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug% ]6 j% [" A G1 m
capital of Canada .
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; R2 y$ k# O' P" g! p9 i) W, F 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ Y3 T! P J( W$ e% _
$8.00/hour.$ c) m; H& k- D
: W; p6 o6 E& B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." W% D% e( I% X7 M! v
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 o) v G: I, q; D# l
on a 15 year holiday ?
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7 h( U$ F6 A4 B$ r$ M% ~, j" d7 ]! T 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. s3 t3 ~2 } j. Q5 q1 b v
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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W5 i6 Z% j9 i7 a2 u. u7 J- G) u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 R: j+ l. f# V; Q4 B1 d- u. B
here sick." v) j) F! t8 u5 A' s6 P+ q) S; M
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 k" T# L, Y2 ? w7 e y0 Nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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6 u3 }& H- s- H \4 s THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 P( s; G( E* t6 p1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".4 @# @' z5 N! o
& N) T+ J0 p1 z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 M' ]3 A$ r- x* g. ?is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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- F E' V) M4 P. b+ U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 r" ?+ u3 d; Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 x& \5 j1 S! C/ k( [' y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 D7 g" ]) t3 a. t* k( w
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! a9 N, v/ |% P& }$ q" vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 c$ O) [! e9 N& w
8 d( H( `' z; |2 w/ B5 F4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ }$ r0 r9 l2 \+ ocussed out, and possibly shot.3 h1 |1 r s) l
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' R) P8 c/ P8 Z* x% B
can get you shot.$ m% g5 N, C) ~% c
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" L8 s' r6 Q; ]# m/ K! P: t
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
; r) r. q+ A9 |1 j( rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 y+ T/ {' A' H7 M u7 i4 B gmore construction starts everyday./ g- S6 e) ?& T" A8 i" \0 r
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
+ V- ~5 d: l% V" d- l4 @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 g; F: c% E- l# ~# N7 {
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ ~& B: @) q! W- p3 H) Z3 ]
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! O, K S- I* Z# D& R4 p
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' |4 d7 K7 l/ ` B. Z/ q0 }4 G& R- `
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally1 K9 w& _( R% K
activated."
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7 q d0 d9 ]- }2 t2 _10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( D( d+ x* }5 r+ w8 m' g! b$ D
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 _0 G- L5 v8 r, _! U/ E" ]accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 m: C" y8 `1 m3 J) i/ ?( H7 T
% l- o t# s6 ~6 k$ L2 P' C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, m* }: K% }& y% `$ U0 Xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! ?' t! t0 |* U; U8 v0 M) C5 @: F
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 k" K: i, j5 c: T. h- o* r
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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