 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
. M# ?" [* `, y& `" J; ^) h+ e" c' D. }5 ?0 Z
1 o8 j. h2 w& Z( y0 O: U3 }, {/ R- j1 e8 d* P
1. Bring your own house.+ U$ ]2 ^' _8 q2 `
& ?) D+ ^& c0 z' g. r
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" z) u f% m& H2 u0 @8 e, {! y7 x
hospital.
* _ e2 b9 W" c6 r# v9 g/ h' c0 J \1 V' \1 W
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: I5 o& L1 M- Z# U9 V0 A+ y
capital of Canada .
& `+ V6 d0 e: Y E
7 n/ Y% R" x% P3 l/ {( B/ y2 v 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
0 `* h/ |: i8 r) t( j5 X
) \2 @" u! W4 S1 N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: ?. `8 n I& f2 H* p- ycapital of Canada .
$ L# k5 ^" L8 f; H9 j7 Z
6 k+ |; n3 d$ ^ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 y) M% d B9 w$8.00/hour.
# W% F' L) S$ x4 K# R9 c; N" {
- ?* n+ f, E1 A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
: c4 U" `; V/ s* z3 x: y2 Q& @! s8 e# F1 I7 R8 C6 o, i3 o9 b, A
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* o/ Q( S5 J( n' l3 hon a 15 year holiday ?
, I3 b4 g% D' B0 F! X2 T2 F8 f& P# P" |: `. K. ]
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 X. f5 q0 y5 Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" S3 _: p/ [* U: i; z# f1 K0 y
7 h2 g4 |" `5 L9 C8 ~+ w% K10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' O2 |- Y: y$ Z/ \* A3 p" l5 S
here sick.+ U- i, h: {$ ^, F" _$ [6 S- C
* Q6 e: g _* K8 T11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# m) L6 i$ K, | `/ g2 M$ z* z9 @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
4 Q. K! y' l+ K7 C+ ]5 Y. I$ Z, Z) T1 L" W, F) f O7 ?2 s! {6 z2 e# n
6 p+ q( _# N, h- e; z
a. S+ R! k% T y/ L7 K2 S3 Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 `" m4 `* b2 i, B S2 q2 z
' X c( z i2 F9 f! [% R
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." v8 C+ L. D% n
- `# _7 X7 q. \) E/ Y, O; D; O- |2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ y! B) h5 j, q. I' {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
4 L$ }$ N. c/ S( v0 S
8 j1 E# g. I e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 m5 s I' T1 i# D9 vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* G0 K+ y9 b& a7 B" a# v
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" D4 E4 x1 F' [7 D3 [% G* b( M
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" b* C' N- P! Bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 G, }$ `$ v' H5 ^4 H2 Q J
4 w* W( q I: r; `; B0 d2 z
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! \3 E5 o; F3 [' N
cussed out, and possibly shot.
6 d7 j6 G! W9 D
% X! e q7 j3 J0 w: A5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- A! f0 P% W1 }* |2 D
can get you shot.7 d1 R$ b5 z$ R% _: U! L8 [
7 R# j+ n, P" m8 ]- O% \
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
* e0 Q* ]# `, _$ s7 Ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
n. D0 w. S. Y$ ~ xday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 ?. y- Z# E, I4 Kmore construction starts everyday.; V- u8 F H' v/ [) l& q I* U& `5 ~
# Q* X. a1 L9 O* v6 m9 J 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
C' f" i1 D& m4 o5 edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 g0 y! p5 a1 u9 m7 r, J
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
5 m5 s" X+ S+ A) y* Y7 \- I, q! ?! L* j" D
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. X9 ~6 p& ]; x# D% }the same road.# g! N2 F) y) L7 O( N- T3 ?
; h& K9 z! u; B8 v: l$ z- c
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 T# I- M/ A& L* k! a3 C( @. c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
- V" v9 |6 j5 T. iactivated."
9 h( K7 f e8 w' m% ]: p7 R; ]- a7 j+ h$ U6 I
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 E, c( p3 Z" S5 b# mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% Z! c# f$ @. c5 S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
7 k S/ h+ _7 P# J
" r/ f7 S7 Y' |9 w11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, v/ K( W* H; W V4 _, l" [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ C6 d$ k) u9 U7 W% E7 }blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 ^# |2 \& ?2 K+ b0 |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
+ i6 Y& `5 N5 [: T1 T
$ g) z) g/ j8 h
