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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA0 d9 i( N0 M, m6 [
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 x7 b* P' B& Y$ M v3 z3 Scapital of Canada .
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( |# }) W' V3 k/ a/ a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., N0 [4 S" w( o0 f3 G9 B, j
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! D6 B# j4 s9 m0 I9 }1 g0 t7 }capital of Canada .2 s1 q! Y3 z9 S* w; u* w
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is) N1 ~% L+ z E9 l' |' \+ h2 t
$8.00/hour., C( H: e$ Z0 t7 h2 }
) ^, P6 O3 X" R& [. ^) _5 K/ C# ?& t 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 y2 n! ^& E9 q; H* b- q* Gon a 15 year holiday ?
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% W* G! x8 L+ n; C, ]7 n3 t 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
A6 ^, X! Q+ k jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12) K+ C3 p5 h6 B, R. j% b
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." ~# d4 L* g+ o. `/ `$ u
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0 d' y7 H, z' A. ?1 u7 f6 K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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6 M! M2 v: D7 N3 r1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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, d8 m) R9 u1 D; C/ }( G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour% S( U: `8 {7 |7 X& D' M
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ I4 j2 C: @: k' S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% p3 T+ Z. n: C/ z a+ k$ Town version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% W" y" m) ~% f; ?) w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires' P+ m0 o1 k8 S+ _- b
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! o2 j% V2 K7 ?. v+ Qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 `+ f' b4 O, d$ D$ v ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ {# @0 _3 N( V6 D
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday., s. ~: Q1 A, j7 F1 y9 l6 T5 Z8 g
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ T7 l! b+ s; R J
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- Q3 c- r9 D+ S& v
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' {+ V4 K3 l6 d0 o
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' _' `2 N3 q9 |; Q# [5 k
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' _- ^) n& T" j3 c7 A4 O
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 d* k; R( w+ ]. g, N% W/ Y
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"' F0 {- S6 G. l; [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& r! U5 D" M2 x( T$ vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 x f( H2 B: p9 S, Ublankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" f- Q0 y) ]- m8 c. z$ n% Cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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