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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 T( K, W, K( U3 C. o2 t
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! ?. M/ ^* A# e+ H! G* p7 r 1. Bring your own house.
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6 x7 m6 T. v! i( |- V8 E0 X- G 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
6 c a' E7 n+ J, Ehospital.
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- y0 x& i8 o( M8 v; j5 k& l1 V' i 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 H3 ]9 x3 @! Q" ~/ J& i
capital of Canada .
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, ?- ^% v* Z1 R) [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 k& f. T9 R: }5 U2 f
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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. U0 `( u" K# r x1 R; r/ J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
7 x* {9 k+ }7 T$8.00/hour.$ D# k$ s J6 W
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' o, ~% E( `: _* Q9 V0 m" U# ?* w
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& z0 V- ?: D; h7 X, S
on a 15 year holiday ?( Y. S5 O! w W" c: \4 P
7 Z0 w) \" I9 h h) h- L' |. g 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& @. ~2 j; p; v8 X/ P: Q! q2 Eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 h& k' D. l- w& }/ U% `
# n4 v# {3 Z: i. z3 y+ c& A! }10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 }5 r4 n5 s2 q- E& i
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! ?' {; y; |# h2 M* h' t3 Y7 u8 myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :: l# D' z) x. _+ @
A$ x# o; N% B, r2 u1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 z8 |. Z6 Z3 Q4 his from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." X; y* {+ p" F6 R v# ]
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 R- H8 F) K, J/ Q& V
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. M; z1 R; {% U( X0 Y* imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 v, T6 z" I& B/ F
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell& A* S* J) A( j& e: S& J
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 g9 l1 Y1 q$ Q3 W$ l# t3 s' s
/ w1 l2 o0 Q) ?! L$ L0 y3 {1 C& j4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 |' ~3 ?" Y; gcussed out, and possibly shot.
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/ p' `& i) |$ { w5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 e1 R! v6 `/ t* K
can get you shot.
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( ~' Z4 @5 m5 q- g9 Y D6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ R' _! }) J9 H+ a
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: \! n% S' l1 n& `8 C# Y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, \) ]+ C7 b _5 O+ l
more construction starts everyday.
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; b1 F, O5 Z: N5 V! Q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' Z% X" E$ k) o# N9 k! Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ o7 }- \; t* f/ C' U( I+ A# wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: l! k$ D' A% ?+ Z0 |
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% w5 @ w2 Q; P2 t1 gthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" `% B% D2 z" u; b2 W+ [2 ?4 I
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 a" f3 H5 D/ s
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# ?, Z! d% n" p2 O- u) h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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, }! A% p( o% Z- t) Q5 m6 R11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur/ I; @, W% g) L! Z) ]
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 ^) F/ L. N$ Y' m* `- Zblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is1 L( o+ Y5 d5 t
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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