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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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# M4 |: m. T# O7 i% i 1. Bring your own house. D8 M4 F4 O" \+ M9 w1 o9 Z
( s3 y" c$ w' o; \' |5 P1 u0 @7 V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 R' k( t- b+ J$ E" Y9 R# _
hospital.
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) J0 o& V. y1 e, H" O1 j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 @6 A! X9 `# ~& h3 E
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% L' j% P: l* I K& Z1 T5 L" o( _* r
3 e: s) C" C1 S8 { G2 F4 Y& h 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: E# K6 ^5 @7 r& v& r/ Q' u
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 K% x* ~' ]: w% @+ Q$8.00/hour.1 \6 f' f3 u) z2 q7 X2 `
" A( D5 @+ K) n p' |3 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 e; r3 O$ g, p
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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0 j7 M. B5 I" c* `$ p* K 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 n9 h3 h4 w6 F5 oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)) ~: k( _8 ?9 S/ v: X4 r
" Y4 P% r; Z5 W% H6 Z; q3 o& _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 Z- e6 n' H# W6 ~; L
here sick.
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* G# o# h+ l# q2 |0 a5 e) E+ c8 u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 K& @ l4 g# f; Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( A. @! u: ?7 p/ r5 ~ G9 r- q0 w
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8 l) G; R. h+ u u& K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; h* T; Z+ S. ]1 x0 Z& j3 V! V
2 W" S! n+ W4 ^6 k5 A' K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". i3 \; @- o) v$ o6 V
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
4 e% ^# x) F L3 m9 }9 n' Nis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& l4 l6 I' F$ F" Y1 U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# O4 L% M6 x! E7 |5 A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- E+ E+ g& i: X- v3 Bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, _# l V* L$ F* b& Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 r x/ I$ ?$ ^+ ?5 h
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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1 k, h# b* \5 p$ T# G4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& q# o$ E b4 j- q g5 Pcussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 x9 ]; P# W }: h! U0 D# v5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( ~' ~" v! ]$ R4 Y
can get you shot.% _1 P7 M2 j# f& m3 {
B8 \+ y& O) t7 l4 R- J5 s# s4 x6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 S# q9 J# W# s
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 O9 g( k9 I) K8 ~: Iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. \4 R: @$ u1 Z* Q! L& x9 Fmore construction starts everyday.
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+ l) A9 q0 n& \+ ?0 `4 U; }# I% D 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ `& J V) O. ]8 J6 q( G5 _
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 R4 a1 W" h( [. Asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* Z" g- M: d# c
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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u; K' K* c) w4 f" x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, \2 S' d) j+ h$ u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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: R. ~- G# {/ W9 j# y4 @10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! Z$ a5 y, b" U9 z
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ f* n# R- [0 h7 Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.- n7 r& \ s' E3 P7 v$ q( c" |( b' b( G
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 j" L% i6 \% d! ?2 J T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, L" z* q% e& J; N, \0 T! H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
E v/ ?: M4 T3 H( q: ?virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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