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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ [7 Z8 q0 h$ n$ m% L* ^3 u
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7 p4 w5 j# B4 A5 P) i 1. Bring your own house., Q: j" Z8 c2 A3 A: z7 k# B6 d
1 ^0 K: H2 o/ { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( n! Z x: H8 y
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder" _8 y- M) ^8 g" V& ^
capital of Canada .7 A/ l$ N& Z- W; S6 v
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) \# N% P' D# c/ X# i9 h
H' g+ E9 v* N! Q" g# w) g/ v 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# J" H Y, u+ M
capital of Canada .. P5 [( U- O2 y2 Q% c* W
' F. A4 f5 P2 A& x 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 Z/ i4 s, e% ^0 {) G8 g( v) }0 |$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ \% \& A# g. a9 z4 c$ n0 s1 j
( G" M! d( q L: s8 o# b 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" X0 c* @6 S# r# Z7 j3 Zon a 15 year holiday ?
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1 v: q! _0 U- _4 Q6 y0 T* [ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; u0 r% w$ {& o/ ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)- j+ p9 D3 v2 z% |# @$ y7 i
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( R8 b/ e, C% E9 Y# f9 T7 ~here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
1 W0 U: P% R, r0 u& [# G2 f0 ]) u+ ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :+ M; E6 q& K g% `; A6 B! X
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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; I9 b! X% [" f3 I$ V8 b( x* K2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( M; @0 |5 m8 h) _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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. R/ y: P s/ S, U" U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. i! [. m+ b8 u. f' town version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 d: E& `; W4 I6 E H1 Z3 Bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( @2 c& @9 m: z: m, d( }0 A: Lgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell4 b: ]( E1 h5 c$ W
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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. v# T" E* v2 y8 b4 i7 A+ r4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 L5 Y; ]; m* |
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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% L2 A3 i" v3 {1 E" Z& b+ h5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, k- a% b- U% ocan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour U# G" l) b' G! w6 [) N
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" t% L: W9 r2 O9 [- oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. i* h3 y4 `/ O- J ]' B
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,7 \' Z) y6 Z. h& h8 H" \9 m0 `8 g
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! ^0 P* L0 S5 g7 N5 R
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ c, d: V, i1 a7 \
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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6 l2 K6 |( X! R5 y1 e. {) |9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" M* }2 e* ^ Q# k( D ]! {8 V
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; N" C9 l3 `/ M. r, K2 `; n
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O8 K' [( q7 C8 l& f: O10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) s' ~/ {0 N7 e. C% ^zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& S0 W. L: _% i, v( Z7 ^# W+ K! z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& L2 s+ b; V8 _8 m) p
0 N/ @ C, w* }# {- j, v11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 ~) q; o& j& J- ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and9 |6 @+ f+ K- a0 Q0 j! T2 r
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 `9 Q3 k& j7 U- k8 [( I. x% Nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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