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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 Z) ]6 B; R, k$ t3 o
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# ~/ i1 D3 G2 l) s7 }$ q- Icapital of Canada .9 f2 L0 v% R$ T+ G" ?2 m+ e
- Y! h2 U- N2 K2 x& T, g6 F& G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .: q/ C: {* a A
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- h8 Y8 T1 E3 A qcapital of Canada .- T# U D1 x6 L/ a. t% a
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& y4 k E" u3 I8 h- X+ F$8.00/hour.+ v/ U" w# ^$ \& I3 A
3 X- R+ T- ~2 M 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.- Q* q( G6 p Q1 _3 O
/ C: _9 ]9 d; T+ Y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 ~0 c6 A2 R2 ]* \; ] Von a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% ^! ^ `5 M6 T6 i0 S0 v* @5 xprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: a1 D5 y1 o }3 K
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' n/ l( g; L8 Wyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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: K' |/ @8 C0 G8 j( k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% v' w- U7 K5 J: v- H$ F
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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6 S: r+ Y8 {, z! H2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) l F0 _) M; D. z3 Vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; l1 ^6 a; h# H
" C8 O( w* S+ c- e/ g0 v& F3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ U8 v$ f# Q' K$ @. m( D
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ p6 d7 { [: D* W) T8 h8 {" Q7 |# C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 z. h5 W' o' Ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 ^* i" I) B+ D b7 j$ U
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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. E& U; [) e* C$ M' T. S4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( S6 G7 q1 C7 |! f0 i/ v( P2 Lcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' [* s$ h' c! s8 d5 I! s: Zcan get you shot./ e0 W: }, D l7 L" n4 `3 g# F
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ W* c* U. p% w+ a1 Jbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. Z6 N% O& \/ b6 Cday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 v4 q+ H5 c6 l
more construction starts everyday.
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/ C) L0 ~4 |+ u. e" q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 t7 D% N8 ?) f
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 J/ D: j! K7 l* X5 w% ^! x
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
2 q, x6 y$ m+ u9 Z& c2 I' e2 xthe same road.
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7 O2 S4 O" S" G- ~- L; d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& g0 t/ }) M5 C+ N1 G4 sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' u9 v4 j; Z0 ^$ h+ C: V) i
activated."$ S* j' y D% F3 q, a- ]
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) g; Y0 u8 `5 G
4 w6 D8 l3 z' ~) V4 m/ z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) n1 h1 `! I% f; F1 I3 [lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 X7 c3 `" A `9 O! a; _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is N8 o: h" W9 [( O4 y7 l
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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