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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 r5 B/ x d1 j$ ~1 K, Q7 b
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; o% y+ {1 p. v6 x: f 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 ~% e$ _2 @) V. i6 e
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ l, M6 `$ R" m! L; H
$8.00/hour.
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' o0 m+ n3 A% ?7 j 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( m! S: O: X/ ?- a2 f: r) `9 o9 G
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# j* q& \- \) l/ i2 \! {- D" r9 {% a
on a 15 year holiday ?/ Y2 \1 o* h1 ?# \6 y( g7 V
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' Y0 E9 F2 h. h) a ^# e: Y \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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" U5 g* b+ I7 M0 m11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& D9 b8 _+ h- _* B: F2 Y5 _: p
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- l4 G1 ]2 Q5 p! W- T$ a9 l+ P0 F
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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/ b; Z% [: Q8 h: \2 G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 {% v1 U9 g) L$ N! @! r* q
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 a# I/ u- O3 [9 ^own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* k7 w% X3 V/ u' [+ t. ~, E& R, nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% e% G. T. _& q U0 b" sgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 P* T* [! l% i: _* R! A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 q; t: P1 N' \ g& I7 ]
a4 m$ W; x' B- y4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ a9 d: Q1 A/ U/ |; W$ l) ccussed out, and possibly shot.( D- s3 W/ `- M* A6 ]5 v2 S
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 C9 d. M T) T/ k' Pcan get you shot.
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/ G+ G( |- R% {" c+ @; Q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
; ~$ D1 e0 ?7 Z4 _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% h. Y7 h: W) z1 k6 J+ Kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 Y( f# x6 g# [* |/ {7 |
more construction starts everyday.
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( h1 d F* b9 K2 |% A 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' _& X) z5 q0 b& M/ c. z1 ~deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. m2 z2 b7 r) Y, Y O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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( X/ Y: T p+ g10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 o: g9 r. W2 `
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' u8 M, q- n" `accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur p. j. f5 t( i, `6 P1 g* b8 w0 L
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 J/ a H1 e1 @ U! oblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" s% \- v% M5 {2 J$ @9 P* R5 m
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
