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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. h9 }* [5 A( k) |8 l C$ c5 M
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1. Bring your own house./ W8 s" B* n5 ]! F- p$ e
; W( p6 O9 v# `: e2 z+ f5 K+ M! i7 W 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
Y' B- R) L. j7 Q+ Thospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- U* y4 \' o9 `7 G$ f* X# dcapital of Canada .
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9 c& d5 L( \) i# B 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 c) `4 F! M& ?1 d' A5 {
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 P0 j3 W4 e( \5 |0 U$8.00/hour.. n* U5 S! j9 O+ A1 d; ]" S
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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7 D6 J4 ? ~7 `0 k# g g/ t% B 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
! V! I- B1 F4 V0 l! }. Non a 15 year holiday ?; M/ c) Z9 b* p4 _- Y9 @8 F7 u1 K
9 m& m/ P+ z$ B1 V! l: V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas% m$ F: m1 i; \! E" T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! Z8 ?8 U, f/ j. M, p4 |6 v
here sick.6 y, t6 N% H5 Y- O4 J. K
1 j- s% B! f. p/ D) C11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( @& b( O. E6 |6 J* m
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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+ Q* W) ?* l6 n! {# p& j. ~+ y THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". x9 S& s& }( I9 y* s: t
) q& Z! q+ |% H0 ]* l2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ W$ B0 u* F A/ y" M: nis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. f6 B$ K+ m$ v* T& B3 H$ K5 Vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% H9 c; _$ k; D7 ~4 Q" n( S; M; ~+ A$ o0 l2 dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- m! g' {* C2 b* x6 a
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 [* v' ]- {5 s! X8 T4 e# n |8 a
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 W: T/ V5 H8 P
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 w" n' m/ r+ J2 n7 f4 d7 [8 M
, v8 z' L0 l1 b( K3 X5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 @5 w1 @ W+ N+ tcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 i' F& E8 \8 L! i& F* I! k+ C
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- P* a3 }7 v! r1 X
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) x: v* ^ \# w. {# R* z
more construction starts everyday.9 {0 U# P, _; q+ {: b: ^# p$ z
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ O( r f' m8 a' O9 Q5 B9 y3 G- qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
C1 t" Z& O. Osquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" e9 P" v2 t3 o' t& h, q: W: k8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" u0 K( R l# k- K: B' a
the same road.8 s. v H* [" N4 |4 C1 w
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the: P0 p% t2 K1 F g% f* Z: D
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& Q" M9 v1 ^ r+ [
activated."! Z# k7 l1 P1 {& n" q
( y8 F& F w" s' f: D0 j$ Z8 c8 d! s8 Q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- u& W3 k% S7 N2 @
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# n# g+ b+ R5 X& N0 o) u
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# C0 g1 e, O7 l( S
. l7 {/ U1 S4 Z5 g% c/ k& V11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( |) L. ^3 _3 F0 O8 X$ I/ A: J
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 H* c R' j+ U4 C( J* |
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# w" A3 ~+ v* Qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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