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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 r+ e' ^0 f1 q: q: U0 f 1. Bring your own house.3 [ E P; j9 ]9 V
" w+ C. n( ^1 h0 c# ~" H: m+ \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
: c" a/ O2 O; E9 \5 Nhospital.
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# y, P8 e' e9 Z4 v 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( h# k% D( m5 dcapital of Canada .
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0 p& r$ [" {& {: X 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) P; a+ g4 \/ l
capital of Canada .+ I: B$ _/ q% I9 A l# Z
* ~0 H9 v) s9 u" p% ?! }% ~ _* i 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 U2 @3 b5 M0 M% m u- s+ ~
$8.00/hour.
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: Y9 T: L Q4 c 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour., \) q* ? t, c9 h' R# g0 `
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: E; d2 t$ H7 n4 P% \2 g
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 y9 C- ?- {' I) u7 W
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 ]; h" P$ a5 J3 o) S( [
( Z+ o6 |( Z) M$ S+ Y$ E/ E) ? g1 j10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- q- m1 [) j6 E0 \# s" D6 [here sick.
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4 A8 t) Y2 I4 l, L4 S! D# g- u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 {" h" A7 L# J* E- ~7 O9 p
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 D: a& V+ X# E; A
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1 Q% m( k Q; q, g' k3 J, ~- a THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 e5 R( d6 f. g# g5 | Q# [
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 @2 Q9 G; f& ?/ h; t) y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: @. E: [1 H* Bis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ r/ \, t2 h. O! e* I
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- }9 }( S5 t/ b/ O0 Vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! C. {/ l4 u' W8 h5 ^muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 m7 x. B5 d4 R# X) |9 `go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- |' n- {/ I( J1 h0 Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: j1 ^4 N' C* y0 e
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 J, E7 \. B2 G' f
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 \, G) [" x2 @" o) C y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ S+ v& g) i( J$ J0 ycan get you shot.9 H3 l# L2 L. a3 Y& X; D( V
5 s0 @$ B+ t. p. v0 b% V/ ]1 W) j6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
% B9 r% s+ F8 x9 n/ q) |barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 ]" ~$ i& t8 A& ~2 @! vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 ^* p$ h; W9 G- g
more construction starts everyday.( \7 Q5 w) U6 Z9 }- b6 l
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* r- a- F' e7 R# A/ q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* g$ D7 `7 D- Z: R; G
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 V2 _6 Y( U# ~9 d8 m
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- j" w" r6 c' p" n3 N% }
the same road.& m" `, ~5 Y: b0 _
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. }( N, w: @) X0 `8 Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; p. ?% {% ?9 J) d2 j7 V
activated."2 D* M' a. m3 {
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ f7 D! t! ^2 _ h0 r/ I1 Q! U" @( Q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% p" N) J% l9 o+ w0 _* Eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 a' A7 P2 Q7 m& E. z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" R$ z% S7 k" l2 e9 Zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) E' _7 J3 h% ~2 gblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 B" k9 S( G1 T3 J
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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