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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.' p7 `$ c: N3 P( g
9 H& ~- a2 F9 n4 _6 b 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 `# X6 _) d9 b, S U
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* _% K w5 V, ~. m* D
capital of Canada ." j+ w6 Q2 D; i& e* t
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 T3 q% y, z) B$ ~
" u( X9 ?7 x3 d4 h/ r! x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: p4 ?( G" h; R- C0 j
capital of Canada ., C k. ?1 m& [6 P9 `0 v4 X
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! H- }2 j) C% Q" O5 @$8.00/hour., c, z( f; q8 T; i! @, C! I2 W
+ e) y+ O; ~6 R9 k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ q# }1 ]( t) }, ?3 e; v1 I$ x
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ H* J. K" O8 ]7 [; Z: k
on a 15 year holiday ?, P& h0 J+ E: G W
6 H3 w7 I% e0 a3 Q/ z 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 V- Q% Z5 b1 s* U& V( Tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) {' h) m* X& F3 K. f; `$ C
; s0 T7 u* n7 e& N; V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& _' A* t0 k9 p) P
here sick.4 n6 P4 D$ l1 r" D6 n& o
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 w+ l$ `1 y7 o
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." y/ B/ S& v6 u% w8 Y; ?! _
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/ l8 N0 Z0 k2 b) M+ [ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 d3 k4 h5 e- U
/ W7 C. P5 F% i2 s$ ^+ f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" R8 f$ T, I+ c7 q- r8 R' H2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 U4 `3 F+ c7 f0 x3 M6 q5 ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 C) u( l) ]1 U/ D: H# H$ Z0 }
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 U6 r+ U& q0 H# K* A1 \: e5 b1 [
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 Y u1 a' k# T& j$ H3 H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 T- |0 f( M# a: Z1 S9 L4 B" o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- @- i" G! R$ n" W6 rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* S1 K5 i, v' n8 e& J" H! D' b
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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. @* k1 W$ u9 T" a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 F. q+ M2 ?3 X3 g3 [0 h3 {1 ocan get you shot.) f+ g9 C7 Y6 f7 x- G
. D- [7 A9 ^- {* N3 P6 S$ K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ j5 o- v, g4 ~) n) M- M1 M+ I5 sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# V) y6 W7 {( }
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 S! T. d- o1 M8 n4 Q
more construction starts everyday.* m9 L% j6 f9 u
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 _7 F& s: d! Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ e5 u# T0 u/ j) z/ X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
S) u9 L! l& o, Wthe same road.
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: }* W, M- I5 ^6 T. p, u! R i* p9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; c% Z) x; z9 m
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 V/ ?: b- e0 C8 D# {8 ]1 H8 K$ `$ B
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 Y( M0 W5 u7 w! Yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., ^9 u- w/ r& L
4 o+ H% S" h: Z' M8 P11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 L# Y4 Q& P. e! Q) C' Llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. R3 t/ b6 m7 }
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ @8 }- q$ n% _& I
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
