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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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: ?1 |+ P# @& ?1 x# f 1. Bring your own house.; q* |% x; a* j: I# P1 e  ]- }
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 |4 [; e& [0 |7 thospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' H8 f$ {& u* f; j  k3 [capital of Canada .
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9 ^- k1 }+ E* }1 _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 I/ c6 T, m* I/ v- K6 W$ K

3 j' e7 \4 _( m  y% | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& l; ?" |" v7 Q$ c
capital of Canada .
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8 v. H, T0 y+ o, G/ A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 y, _& ]4 o3 h& [4 I$ I
$8.00/hour.; d+ ]: Q  ^- J; c8 m6 w8 y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- b& e4 b! o, m( g0 Aon a 15 year holiday ?3 S+ \4 u  \1 y$ {) V
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, y% z9 x  |; ~( bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ P& K# @- ~* W& K) g7 u. ]6 Y

$ q; r) [0 V' w, ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 Q% M# a5 @, t+ o6 ?0 O
here sick.& L/ N. D& S  b- Y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
  |( q) |3 ~) W! ]0 gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." @' n. S/ _" ]# r4 m2 ]" f
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 m) h  ]7 b7 ?# C5 _9 ]/ w2 X
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 f6 @. v9 p' B8 f6 L

, a' z% F- E* E5 `2 }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: j, b3 P5 x4 \( H0 \& [) Jis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ F$ x  O5 Q' `, u+ K9 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest4 R$ S3 _; `, h4 r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 h4 p' }9 g- x$ J9 h& ~2 s
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 l3 |: `: w4 R$ s$ o! j
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% Z8 O% {$ Z  ~7 g7 {3 N# I4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! n4 g3 T$ X1 Acussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% x* S' T% }6 A, O) ?* E
can get you shot.) Y9 W" K7 g& c& ?+ F; U

+ Z" ~5 e! S  L0 e5 ]6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ J. h  K9 u3 m( l6 a  ]9 mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# F, @, z: ]9 L! {
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" j- C) X8 \) M
more construction starts everyday.& \" g" ?- Z5 R& {" X0 S) w

0 h; `9 N" p7 g; O  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- a. z, g( E: v# p: L# t- ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ E2 K7 A) j5 M7 \1 r( x+ P! b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 P. Z2 I2 d% s9 Z  J6 w8 P% |
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 y. N1 c( S# w' Hthe same road.6 N& n" a- J/ N7 {
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 E" J/ y8 ~7 I3 Q: z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: o9 e( g6 A! k3 A* ?
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( Z: `4 K! B" M  l& n
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' V' j' k7 P0 E# b2 N0 Oaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 Q1 f& C# d6 \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and  a: D1 Q* v+ t( v/ o- ~4 ]; i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) j5 s1 U3 L/ U5 ?& {" F9 Cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

$ m+ L/ x' M5 X; p) y3 @$ e/ c有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
# v$ M: ?* ?) @5 t* L满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 B( ^3 v, s! f5 U$ C- Q' o
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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0 ]/ R' \6 ]. A$ I" i8 W5 Z此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 1 }$ w# j3 Q) X( V  E
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
7 H. z8 T+ o- L, k" K6 i/ M满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。+ t1 }. t9 }) p( L! v' {
...
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/ {/ G7 Y+ Z" Q* ?! N 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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7 h: u) q3 i6 C5 b) _0 ?, c这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
* R2 m9 a" A: P4 s* y$ \: l. Q朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
" {3 C- V% ~+ {9 F) ]满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。( [9 d! p8 n  }3 H1 `/ s$ S
...

- B, \: |. F2 c) m' W# z& y7 N你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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' M6 h& J( C& G再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.  I1 X+ I! f. _' w2 _& s
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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