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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ D1 y! s4 P3 S# ^0 {; l3 V
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2 V! \) i5 z' C- d 1. Bring your own house.9 N( j- |1 I r+ B9 K! B
4 ^0 `: V x0 }5 L* H5 V' b0 y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 V7 Y( |8 L0 f0 M \
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 `# X& a" y8 n* W
capital of Canada .3 \* y5 C! V. ]2 W3 I
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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& D, c8 ~1 r* M( a4 u0 n4 d* c 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 ^6 T1 a' T8 r7 \capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is) \, l0 N( z; T7 k8 A
$8.00/hour.
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/ Z/ S5 z5 G% D+ p+ m5 ~8 h: U 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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/ k" j% O/ }5 C4 H) f d 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 W* B5 s& p* ?8 `) N2 ?1 J8 _
on a 15 year holiday ?, |2 r0 M% M4 R9 w8 N9 R
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 p2 h9 W: ?- [; O# i) h% l$ qprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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( n- w% h# m0 S, A+ \" z11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% Z( _8 V6 t1 }
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- m* l. k. D. i. ]2 ]; r1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& L l3 ^ ~( O8 I, n1 ^! M" a
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
$ p' N' M' w$ t0 t; Jis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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1 ]8 x% U$ a8 D3 U. t3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 u1 t" z: k# Q& B I) g7 {( M3 F
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: f* R7 o' ], y0 `' Q7 U! l
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ K% }7 D5 E0 X. N5 t; I! n0 P; x8 Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" F, x' ]2 c1 m* pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! C$ Q) p6 u0 b2 ~2 o- X) Z1 W' J
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! Y3 L4 b, o5 l
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& L, @. g/ l* f) m0 O2 y% ]6 X+ j+ Scan get you shot.: O# _ W) @! @+ ^% }$ w
8 m0 W8 H S. B% u" j! t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% d- ?: U2 W I& X9 C9 e+ W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 E; x& y' ~0 {; n) c# W. r, x$ t7 dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" d8 h) r- g, O2 q" mmore construction starts everyday.6 @" A# x% M5 K# I1 k3 h( C
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,( b. @# O8 X0 Y: v: _7 D( @ z) x
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' a, r! _* J! ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# R" S/ C P" D) D- @: Y/ ~' W" Wthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the8 p7 g3 e+ {' c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally- @! a9 M# j# F( @2 \- C1 E4 G! b
activated."
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2 k9 ]/ y7 G4 f8 D0 \10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& K" I. G9 ]6 S, O* V8 \+ gzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"; f" w- i+ p. X) }3 \7 T4 p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& J+ r _0 o7 p# h/ e. w |: o
; ?& C1 n$ r& [% U6 ]5 p11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 g5 A& }" `2 Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ E+ u: F! i8 Z1 }5 s9 V
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is s: X. F+ O" L* F5 e2 J
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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