 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; d8 J7 B' D2 }3 Q2 \ |; d
5 A" m( `) r" `/ O1 p1 n" \) A
: c3 K9 i1 S o9 C; H/ E
0 v' _1 ^" j B/ \0 {" i 1. Bring your own house.' [7 `3 ]; [) s4 L. I6 Z- [8 u
: X0 e! i) X/ n2 S1 U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ ]# N i5 _ Z- l8 X6 C
hospital.
0 K1 C. h6 {: T8 C
: v' M" k+ n" _( X1 } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 [/ b( g; O1 O: M7 f& tcapital of Canada .
% `. p; v8 w: y5 p; F( t( W* R4 v1 ^6 e# { Z6 ?
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
2 K( P( e) g$ U% H$ o: S" i) i: W v: B) m* R- S
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 F& H) @" o8 T+ [+ O& S
capital of Canada .
+ u2 p" @0 H7 c9 @* Z- r# B2 p2 f2 K+ T$ z
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 q* X; p) p/ h- [
$8.00/hour.
0 a+ Z* K7 c; P3 `' ]0 h% [9 e* Q/ j/ F1 b- ~
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
: Z- X1 u& t( ~' U( g' u! E
4 z( z _# L z, b. Q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; P, z+ n" H" Y' r7 \$ e. ?4 f. O
on a 15 year holiday ?# i3 u# w2 I: Q; c) v5 D' q4 O* i
+ d; D, D. @- d" x' k
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' A( m( g+ I/ Q, T& _: w1 wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): m. w" i# x8 _
* `4 s. k- u& ~' E) h10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 F! ~$ C, j, D8 H' m3 s8 s/ mhere sick.1 T) j" J) m6 p; e! ~5 Y9 Q
% E: `+ Y. Q/ e3 O3 K
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
% l2 s* U# ^. lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. p; m* I3 u- o5 O. C
+ @2 R& q" X/ K$ O$ H/ V7 [7 P8 `! f5 Q! `. E
5 i& e: {7 m; x! c/ n THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
y& B) K2 G6 J3 }8 z/ P$ M2 f0 F; I; z; K6 U# x* O& m4 k
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
3 @, H4 z3 J* p& s; b2 F2 g+ S1 Q2 W7 m! Z6 h, z- C
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: x: |1 Z& p$ g I5 T5 [is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
; z! i1 i+ `; r. Z$ j, Y
" B$ H9 _0 o, K# w9 _4 h3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( Y3 j" U. l uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: D5 v+ j; s" ^4 Pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires' l$ y- [& H5 {/ K. y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 e. R8 A% |1 R7 s2 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
7 s: x$ B, Q1 f, N- s, s3 Z# |1 _$ o) \1 ?
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) \7 t- g! o& Lcussed out, and possibly shot.; S7 a; U, l" L/ J8 @& G7 @; Q
) F" c# [% g/ L$ r8 L9 t! y4 ?9 F- a
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: a5 \# M' r$ U* f& u, P4 x
can get you shot.2 A$ C7 x" t d" S' T7 I# [
" H) x3 ~% @6 Q3 F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, ^. k# U) l8 `! _# Rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: q L5 _4 H9 T; n; ^4 s+ Wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! T* i2 U% p8 ^. ? xmore construction starts everyday.
! p* m' g+ U) G
- L: `# |7 ?) Y% n 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 _) U" t: I/ m* p5 r/ y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# |. \, P" r& U) _. p1 C
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' W1 E) `5 C7 L- Y5 k
' K0 c3 J0 G3 L% x; I
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% @. k3 y1 _/ v4 j( A( [
the same road., j3 o: }1 }! B) I1 o, m
( h2 b5 |. |3 }" Q
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 p& ^ ? b) l2 n" b% C
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
3 ?" v3 }4 T u6 T2 S, S' W8 s6 kactivated."
% _" o1 F+ C" ~: B4 p; J" A
- ?( V( L$ {. i2 n6 h, Z9 k6 x10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( n5 P+ T/ t! i& E- ]+ Rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": C; U, X- o6 @
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
% s4 \; d8 ]6 z' k7 q3 E6 e
& D/ z( f" n! b: h11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ L& I. x" L6 e2 ?( R" W \" C
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! a" j# ?6 ~; C" E0 k
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 m8 a( d' x, I5 F" Ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
. j, R/ i3 {0 @) D5 I( |3 j" g
7 u4 d* ?3 x8 N2 `2 F4 Y+ i) x
