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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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' n6 k' [$ l& e8 {8 r3 `! `0 J# \ 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and, R& u4 D$ D1 h) q9 |
hospital.6 }4 e i5 E# D% N5 W) b2 o1 D
4 R5 }' w6 D w2 d( o/ L" d: o! z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) @% S* ]2 {* V5 H# p
capital of Canada .
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& r6 x% m1 ^3 d* U' N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 Z6 }# U3 d. n1 Q" S0 `' x }8 a# M
h7 O8 j" \5 @: w 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) r0 d/ h5 {# h+ {- ~
capital of Canada .: j" l" F& j# @
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ R, g* X/ P. ^) A% x9 U* @+ i$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. m% K, G- O: R5 v& ?) n
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! z7 m: m5 y6 v) R* g: Z
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 j; o) b: Z$ W
7 w& j8 e$ @) G, B% q' o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come/ }' |" o( m: a, k
here sick.8 J) G$ P" L) }/ d2 D
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
+ [5 t$ U8 \* r* A, o5 S: lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# l( q7 |" n$ K9 x
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5 R6 ^ `4 i. g/ t4 j THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : R4 k6 J4 A6 p1 D% u
1 T4 b8 T4 r4 o1 S1 Z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".' B4 ]7 V5 W! _$ ~/ g! V m
) U2 a2 \3 T" p( [2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) Z, z! k8 C9 m8 I+ P. r7 j
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
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muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires; c' {2 z3 H8 Y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
' `- f( Y3 p: y7 U5 jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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8 m3 K: @: ?) z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 \4 ] D# E. l; a" c$ e2 V
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, F& E6 T: z2 m* [! E
can get you shot.( J8 R( z, \) h9 W; A
) p; H& b' _( P+ ^7 C% P( t6 W6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' w6 I" T, S( a2 ]. ~( Qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# D1 `5 s; _0 G5 h# o0 n
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 b4 W0 d. r& B' M3 jmore construction starts everyday.
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% \5 d' l* V+ P3 S 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* z. p2 F) [+ ^! P8 T6 D3 ?/ O
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! K' V/ J/ r( r! e' d6 _
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% ?# h: e6 k( v, Y# ]9 i) F. B
! [$ z; q! F$ L) ]4 t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 s* c5 R! e7 M3 |" ~* J0 }$ A
the same road.+ j& g; ~2 }9 P) _4 G5 r$ P
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 l; y5 h- u6 H# f" c& a2 B8 E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' v+ |7 y% `8 M% i4 F
activated."
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9 T4 A) ^( Q2 ^( d, y, X, \10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ I3 {" y1 @# }" xzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 s* V' O7 b. ~0 U( Haccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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, ^3 a Q4 z8 a" H) a3 e3 n11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* L' n$ i7 @+ S) i6 m: F+ g) H
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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2 V9 K$ t# D0 K# Bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
