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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA& Q7 P; @7 q5 x! ]% I P
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; m/ t2 ]. r6 T7 i* D7 q' { 1. Bring your own house.
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2 Y% t+ f" u3 g$ _# B0 N6 S$ o 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% r6 y) j) R3 m* q# ]6 Z$ `6 W
hospital.
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( u8 G6 i5 O6 c2 U& v- C0 N; c4 `! ^+ q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ [3 G. J# w! y. R7 V1 q
capital of Canada .% N+ ^* c# f/ p4 H
0 i+ s/ D; Q8 h5 O 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .$ N6 h; ?4 ]" p
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 c% A# I( {7 d
capital of Canada .. y) d' @. T* J: `* ]
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: E5 i7 z9 p0 R( ^$8.00/hour.
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* t( i* V( j, ]& ?+ e- ~ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ {2 z- W1 _) S, o/ [
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
0 D6 [4 N# X: U6 son a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' W; G; ]6 a7 q- [6 m
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
& l8 G& n! U0 M! Z+ }years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 Q! }1 E! r7 _6 n, M& |+ |
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, W2 w% {: [! x
% S: L. M7 d0 Z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 v& o& V$ v" H9 ]! o9 w
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 ^" Z! P0 j4 z* i
6 c0 d9 }! e: G! }* J+ G+ t3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 A- M q W- B+ W/ e/ ^5 T6 g
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* ~% g' m$ k) K. O5 z$ a9 s+ b7 Mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- `# T2 a N: m3 @
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 ` ~7 g6 Q) O6 p. C# E! Iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% D9 C; D& z) w) i" r6 a
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 R2 n: Z d& S t% t }3 B' g2 D
can get you shot.' O6 }8 O( o- N$ V: e# @
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour3 C; w1 B" I2 g6 |
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) O4 [, X! ]8 I; w! ~* e. g+ p
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and; c0 Y7 ?( G6 T; g7 B
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- G% }* W/ n1 T' z* ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! _2 h% U. o% v! v" n6 o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 z3 V: U/ @3 i3 s' H7 b) ~0 Kthe same road.
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+ I# [' m* m8 d# c1 ? _. }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( E A& ^* \2 v4 Q! g0 {7 T, u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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; r, S& i; {1 x; a10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km) R8 r4 q! c% D( C
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ K4 m! t/ D5 ?1 b4 ?* Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 ^0 B$ P/ | t
1 P. W, j( m! z- k' _11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# V2 O2 `2 t( D9 q# d+ p
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 E% r9 M) C* b. {% Q2 Y8 lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ W- x& Z) T b4 k1 b3 |8 @9 ]9 X. n
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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