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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 Z: [" |: B+ L. x3 V 1. Bring your own house.
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5 C4 Q- A3 b- x, S/ ~' q3 F, } 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 H4 F7 s* w) s. Z
hospital., K6 ^9 G- ?9 W" n" Y! i, X
) L1 {3 Z5 F2 q! R& L- C: l 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 e- }0 H" ]9 C2 n+ ^; ncapital of Canada .
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, G' S6 }! H$ g4 r! R- l6 X' o 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# s" D* H; N/ X3 f- \
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' m- J& l# J9 i5 `
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# P u( U" t6 g+ U+ A. `3 c) v0 o1 O
here sick.' Y C/ Z' G/ {- J [
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 Q* q5 z" D) r: e7 xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., D/ c" G0 P' v9 E1 Y5 Y
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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) w1 t3 j: h' [; x, l2 ]$ Q7 A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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3 f2 S/ y9 O! N' I/ n2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 I; a2 W6 b) ]0 O4 B) B$ y2 iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! ~: C6 N) U! \% {- B& ?
& ~: d+ N7 C" h$ k/ R4 S6 j3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* h) K* }* c& N5 L, {
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 y4 P' U3 z5 L) F
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' e2 A. o! L" W+ ]9 M6 C6 N+ Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
f* T. [! c$ ]& Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* C! |$ N9 E) c4 T' w6 \6 N
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' {: r: b1 b& j* V
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 Q& {; ?4 n: H$ ]/ t4 r- [
- }) Z% |( U" V5 ~5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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* T3 |" b5 R4 h4 @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
4 F. D, Y; }5 J! N" G5 A* f3 _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 J5 f6 O+ [& s2 P F- L
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 Z( T1 F5 o0 `$ W) B$ T G4 V8 U
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" P5 c4 e! f6 D/ V3 e5 Fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 x* G+ Y1 x- a9 I3 T& L9 D P
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., b$ z5 Y% e( S
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 Y9 l4 U) v) |4 N
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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+ |7 S- B$ q! ?- W! L7 w- i10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km% i6 W. H8 I3 t7 F2 l! I
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, i5 m0 S7 H: |; x* Maccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." c, C) l7 |, W1 Q
% F4 u% h3 f( \$ ^9 r% @1 k11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( @* y$ v+ _. mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' `5 ^# G- H+ }; i r- L+ n# {blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 ]; L: d( @, u ?4 z4 G; r Q$ Kvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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