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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 \$ u P* a( d7 h$ W7 ~" q* _
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& V- m" v) h* s 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 s! r5 q% Z3 P1 d2 {6 s, h
hospital.$ \& A( q1 q& Q8 x! }# h
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( G' } b- R% k7 |capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ o; n* ~+ [* N+ `! x. u
) R$ ^. q+ A! r+ l. o! N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" B( p) L8 i. F% @ Y. N9 }capital of Canada .8 t1 @3 q, r9 p+ q8 M. E
7 h( H3 X% e9 T5 a$ w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ b. [' x: @! _, [
$8.00/hour.! _; J, X7 }) i; K" c
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. Q0 o7 b" O% N8 D
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9 P9 z" Q0 ?- ^ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 v0 N4 F7 \/ N3 v
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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8 K. `4 f& k0 l( O/ z5 s/ G9 h. u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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: f5 ^8 x! c5 C7 Z11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( ?3 y4 D% ^: f9 s& b. U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; p1 ~, R* J. c3 v/ T+ y
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) ~& G& w, r: ]0 I q7 I; m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& ^! Z$ }! T+ Q/ g, |
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% w! T; ^" C* s3 w5 G: `. j
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 f! P8 K- I# D, R. N2 Z3 c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: h: C7 j! |' m; c. l# F6 b6 Y1 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ J: ?. C# q$ ^+ X+ {4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, e/ W9 Y( j) Z9 zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( Y3 r' ]8 b8 o, l8 [
can get you shot.7 o7 [$ D2 H, h3 E6 V. u
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
3 ]4 s) R8 J+ D& M @! A% nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 B7 m1 f8 S( P z3 A/ j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, i/ d ~' Y2 X8 y+ umore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* A7 u& \, y0 r/ E" d0 ]+ kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; ^: e$ m5 `" f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% K" t" A) j0 Y0 t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" H7 x: }1 D e8 q
the same road.: A3 p, B2 ~) X4 D
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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) V9 @2 r. g. w) S$ N! t5 F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' T! k. {6 K1 E4 Nzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 G+ I# Z3 {6 x
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. z. Q, H% g$ E' P1 C* h$ D( ^
2 B& @( O0 a6 N7 ]* T: N11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 A8 n9 ?, h9 P6 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, Y" a( [' v% C- U+ B6 S0 \5 O: d& I6 k/ {
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is* G4 Z% t- \6 O! X6 w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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