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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
7 h) I) ?; Z  ]$ L) M; Bhospital.8 Q/ r0 p/ b6 a$ k/ J" }
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* v# U  J) Z3 v5 a9 R6 W
capital of Canada .
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9 ~6 T  t. ~  I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 q  ?. S* U; ~6 ]" h
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 Q( a" G% K7 I* p8 U4 q' a
capital of Canada .. _2 x0 j+ D/ o6 x, g# `
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 ]* U9 R7 W- L: J% W0 I
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; o6 u, h# Z5 A# \" c  _, b3 \- M  U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, D, A3 t, v* B8 |: p& u! Von a 15 year holiday ?. m9 e! X1 ?# v

0 A9 h0 ^# ^, o0 j 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& e- R# G  |8 J5 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 o4 H5 M; M# }4 V. ?+ O/ @

7 b0 K0 ?: S7 Y0 t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ C) m  _; m! k9 Chere sick.
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* W% ?2 q0 R  S3 F* N# H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 D' j2 Q) R( X2 t& ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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% t2 b/ T. Z) z* p2 M1 K+ a2 h THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 k* T5 v$ w2 T. k5 E; \
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 w) D8 X( }7 |/ @

- j+ `0 ^0 T4 k6 d  O3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. C3 p7 c# R! c) E5 D. P" Cown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% D0 G) |5 i8 d+ d) y2 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! w4 ]. {5 g+ [' ]6 L( f& Pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% e4 g( v# A1 [; A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& |! B) D, ]4 i; X
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 j  h  v' W: }3 r" S; r+ Z" o# s9 Xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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& F" Z4 b2 r; B+ r0 w. \  N" E5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 p, B, S% ^6 X' {. |can get you shot.0 z9 d+ k  O& C; o0 S( C! t
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& R. j$ F* B2 `( D+ {5 y5 pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 ~, b& |1 P3 H
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. O# D7 T1 l4 a7 a; omore construction starts everyday.
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1 x1 L! P" u# g  y& i  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; }3 P4 g/ r& U9 C" Z8 T) |( Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ h! Z' l2 }2 e5 [
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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6 Y# l# v8 g' e" \/ @* N9 i8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 r# j) W( i; v0 w9 x9 h
the same road.! \7 m! ^. K& c5 n
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 `' ?4 H- x% m6 e' ]" t0 Y! P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ H& `2 S0 l- H6 n5 c
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: ]! B9 X/ X8 F# D; f# }
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") J7 c6 {  e, H1 s  ^: R, n: W
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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. J1 J  D# o, O" ^  t11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) C  \2 c! l* l& E  {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ |! y  R' p  a& y& L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 a/ @( f" l! Y: u; T$ H/ p+ L, x# W. pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

- l2 ^7 K0 ^& k/ z( H5 z; y有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。9 @* f! D& S5 j; \" J
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
# ?9 V3 i3 d2 \( @0 N有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 9 X0 H3 `. z! x9 n+ o

8 c7 C3 l; W* C! s' Q1 A2 \' g此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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; u) H" ?. S* d2 R2 a1 O[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ! w" X9 H) W+ ]7 X
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。+ m2 e7 z8 M% K6 v7 a
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* A( B  m- O: q) i2 v. d  b
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 4 W4 l% E* h. Q; F/ N* w
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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0 P& m" B" v+ ^( R9 g这么刺痛你了吗?0 |0 r/ ?; k2 `, C: {) v) Z

- o) [6 r" D. O1 @6 C* f7 K我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" j$ o1 s* j& L朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。! u; O/ Y- O4 J* _2 a
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& e$ T" m8 P/ I; Z* Y$ ]' Y  G
...

1 w: c7 {* k# l2 P: N你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。. h3 {2 w$ y; Y# w7 g: [

' a5 v0 ?3 `9 @再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.7 x$ Y  N! |3 D* |& p5 U9 n# C: T

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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