 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
( N" W9 ]- E1 t" {8 T8 S6 J4 x7 y+ C4 f+ A8 T$ g7 Q
; L# T! b M. M0 Q% Y; z
% F4 ~5 H& S* H3 g3 D+ w5 ?. n 1. Bring your own house.
?# H& n: i) O5 Y8 P: H) X+ v0 P
( z" h: C2 ]$ ]2 f 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and5 Z( X# x/ Z; l9 D, R8 h7 i
hospital.
& k. @& }: c* F2 X2 ?, z8 B8 z, C6 d! ]5 d& D
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ Q0 |( H- C' Q+ [4 r! p& f2 f
capital of Canada .
, W6 G5 _. J2 m1 A, P" k$ Y" E; M' M! Q1 _+ B
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
( m1 P: z8 d3 W3 o0 z) I9 V% o
1 G8 \; d$ z' |! W/ Z7 ^ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 Q2 E$ g( k4 k }+ Q! J
capital of Canada .
& {% N5 p: `. n7 `$ z8 W2 V& Y5 G1 m3 p2 r, }3 [" z2 f
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: l& B# s. N( E) E" T) U( h
$8.00/hour.
: ?8 C2 n* ?& _# T) x; e5 O7 f8 x0 s' f* y0 m: G4 l
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
0 x& e* _ x9 D) G4 K0 m# X$ s( H$ |* V
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
H/ H7 `' j" s/ D2 l: V# }on a 15 year holiday ?7 ^* \4 n+ W5 p- H
0 r0 d. \) o6 ~1 g7 B 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas1 ]) z$ ?# F( C" P4 [
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
; {( N" h, _/ d5 F7 H4 N) ]! F' [0 U9 k
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
. K$ k- m8 k9 |: chere sick.( O8 l- C. u. \2 u `7 k, c. i7 @
: v# j8 Q8 ?) a$ o5 y9 P
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 E4 e9 z) b! @, M
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
8 @( M6 k" J# k U1 Y: V# J& E. Z' w3 V* ]) p; f% n" J- s! ~
* b$ M) w) F- B3 O' B; [6 Z) p4 I. m, c1 z- x
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
2 l) N [+ b+ G p4 w' R4 ?
( P5 S3 l S% y! D- a0 ]1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
! n! v5 A6 I0 Q' n4 o" c* @, [" |* B8 X j5 P! x; y; F0 S
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 O7 K7 _, ^$ }# }7 xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
V9 \' G; b' t9 U2 c7 o
6 @" n6 J P0 V3 e# T' Z' W) y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 ?0 `# q B4 r5 n/ G7 P0 z2 {3 w. rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. {, g! V6 a9 q& k6 c2 u4 vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* T0 q. R, `0 ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, l( ~+ k! U% ?" V0 {
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 v* Q* ]3 f8 m- p- F9 @* \( F
3 o. m* g+ E! G; M% s3 n: e8 ~4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: U: d) \" V( |5 ocussed out, and possibly shot.+ T7 r( [* ?1 w3 h' t0 v( u% v
& y! F; `- W' g5 K# @
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 Z8 z' ]8 k5 M1 g4 G
can get you shot.% G. O7 U% h0 I; z3 s7 P; {
6 e/ ]; O- _, |
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 T5 ^' V' U0 F; C
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 J m7 {( N7 o3 i2 P2 s9 h/ Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. t7 G% O [+ U6 U. j( s" S: ]
more construction starts everyday.
% j: @) R5 N6 O* {* o4 c5 u8 {
1 l$ r! n# i) p, W/ ?& d 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' ^' r7 d9 P/ I& y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ I, ?4 m" B( f' g
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
x5 X' h1 n, j" P; {
+ R" ^; q& A4 ]8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
! \3 N6 x: F' v2 jthe same road.& @) D9 V- E! Q% q, W- G4 A1 d
1 Q- p+ s! i. D0 o8 _) ]9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% N J1 g- [8 }% I; s2 Z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally. d$ q i# M/ `9 c# g( f3 c
activated."8 Q' F, X; Q) i2 Z! O1 d( R% F
; P5 D* n% s* s* f
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km Z. J T1 [2 E) I2 V% Q/ G
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ M) q c* o1 J- T+ ^
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! u5 o' M1 n6 J6 W0 V5 y6 h9 F
; ~- B' U) j- ^/ O8 }+ v/ n3 j" q$ M
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 c2 \' g6 v, Q* K. [8 j# \; @
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" J, C8 a. c" w& {blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
: j0 J1 S& T+ F7 F4 ^ B! svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
/ ^2 u9 Z, C& ]9 q8 l( C: b# e2 a
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
5 v( g5 n+ ^ D+ n2 ~7 R. _
