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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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4 H1 T+ \. V3 _4 S. N0 e 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# ]! T6 e) N2 U1 @3 D! ?6 ]
capital of Canada .3 O3 G& o# J1 k7 j4 X9 J
7 w( \% P7 R% d% W6 N4 n6 {5 U 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is0 W' Q$ p6 H9 E0 u
$8.00/hour.! j4 _+ Y0 T; A9 m6 y* Y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. I" J* c% W# b7 v
7 d: \7 _9 J2 P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 Q8 u* E k, p0 t& {9 R4 Ion a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" m) I% [8 A& @5 p* nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ K* U2 W+ q; t; c/ T
- Z& G* b$ d+ m5 c/ [# k; W" _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
7 k) ^/ q5 L' s0 Q8 B( ~here sick.
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- W% D. N( U4 K1 i- A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
1 h+ j7 I& L4 G- }) n. ayears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) v3 z& O l! R/ m
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. p* k+ a# |$ s* R
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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d& i/ b3 O# d: ~3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% i% X0 Z( @8 o% V, }: q7 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! w$ {0 `. ]. A/ G) y1 }muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 T+ o6 W1 r. P" i3 S& q0 w" u2 \go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 b: [5 n2 m: d0 z) z
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ ]+ w2 d) Z0 d9 i* N" ]
" j& n& k6 r+ c& ^; ~4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 u, t0 T/ B E) i0 F
cussed out, and possibly shot.0 p& b. P' p' g! r9 J* |# S6 p
! q6 f% Z" G, k8 w( q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 w$ o; E2 z! f6 }4 g: H- D6 y
can get you shot." K( z; x$ Y B, |7 I0 I+ C
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
( v; ?0 ~- k4 Q0 [6 Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! {3 U; ~; x1 g9 c) l: D Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, ? M6 W6 j! `
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 ?" U) a% q0 i% ~6 H2 q1 _2 p+ e
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) x5 M: A1 {+ R7 V% s( r( a# [
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% U/ v- k4 U8 a
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ u. h8 h4 ?! U- o+ B. T
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"9 R3 J: O: n" `) v' e) D* ]. T
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 h' x+ J) R* d) a: n; ]! { D
; a' c1 {/ c8 T0 d11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# a# W, l7 t# U
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! m1 v2 F. V* u" _1 Cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 }) F$ R: n- \virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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