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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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( A. V) B; N' l& t9 Y& M" M3 b9 } 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 P, w$ z* C6 K, |/ H! v4 j
hospital.1 x/ |- M0 B( G, _: O# Z3 Y
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: }% j( \6 Q% R: f
capital of Canada ., s1 W% m5 I) E% G4 G* ^9 y0 x4 R7 \
+ q- l* R" s- r8 W. [7 a. o6 V) X 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( H g: P7 K0 Z) x; R" y! @! z' o 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. Z& i, j. r5 C1 T9 P" R7 O
capital of Canada .% Z& N; g O7 {
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 N9 ] y$ u& p" U0 R* I H
$8.00/hour.8 L7 z l1 D' O0 y8 I
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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- ^! z* l% Q$ n. H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- P7 Y7 p, I: ~9 S- Ton a 15 year holiday ?
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! w- d* Y7 O5 G# s% O5 f 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! {. e8 F4 T) dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); M0 M5 P& x" o& x# Q2 R- C
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come/ o! T# L+ O! G$ F; m
here sick.
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3 P' B" b! ?- k) G8 x: L, u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12% O' \/ S1 D8 w7 Z+ ^/ B- K# J
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.: I" d/ `; u- a9 _% v/ G
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 ?" t- e* L9 z. g5 B* O& k3 `9 h. s1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ |6 y( {! l; ~; M
- b5 J p N6 k3 O) k9 L2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" V$ E6 ~* ]5 d5 p9 ^# x% Sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- \6 _( U& ^& h# Xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. ~1 `. p9 k/ Q; m7 B8 }
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% U! p# H! Y. C. d: D3 Bgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" h5 M1 R6 Z. \5 d9 @. ^6 D& aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 w5 ^) R! U C6 G! ^8 b5 I
$ P' N. v& E$ d1 a7 d- l7 K; J2 e% M/ |4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ A+ X f5 q+ _7 ]9 K
cussed out, and possibly shot." n2 L4 o9 z9 l' E8 l7 ?
8 L( H% x; i( w; _$ J" f5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ \8 y) X8 f) o% Q+ Y; T# N8 k9 D
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 L: R( Z3 e' K$ k* ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& [ d: _8 x2 E; {( c
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ ]* @2 ?* J ], X, a# J+ Imore construction starts everyday.6 ]) L7 s# M' j" M3 D! R0 [
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
p0 v3 x+ S' j6 z1 Q7 l% ~deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: c) o7 Z& |& e; x3 [* s
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 b- F$ T2 S6 t, E) ]( B0 @
. u- F" d! I0 w; Q$ [8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- C0 \; H' ?3 N( o
the same road.9 i1 w; S9 _8 K7 l
( Y$ j; L) W2 m, m- t' r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ c2 X/ s9 r- `9 w M$ r; y. A/ u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 {& B1 v- C' ]# l/ N; U# q& ?8 Izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
" R# _0 h' ~( r f$ aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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8 L/ G4 ^9 W% Z/ \7 S" q" q* m. `11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 H& x: H( y; n: l2 O# R
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 U, H9 z/ K! y. e, y: K2 bblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 q5 P; m" ?0 y2 n9 [0 @3 g
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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