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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( t! y( z! r2 S) j
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1. Bring your own house.% K4 V+ n! \. i/ d$ ]! N- x
5 u E) Q% f- A7 @7 T4 } 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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* K% r- V! v; D2 f 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 M2 Q- J' v: Wcapital of Canada .9 A# b/ k. K& y: _' o
6 l7 v4 S1 M1 M( p/ l3 A: h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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8 M/ }6 s- G# E! l* B9 U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 A. E( P3 ?7 {" e' V' M% H, Qcapital of Canada .. q4 c6 [" l( S* [0 q; J
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 g; ?" H4 W" K$8.00/hour.
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9 J1 ~1 Y! ~. s0 r: v7 ~ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour. u! Q2 U: q; b% ~
- r/ e) p! {( D6 j! r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. ~4 L; Q, b: e# F$ }9 v$ F
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ [2 r* e% V) `( S% v$ H z
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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+ S2 X5 w+ N( R! [3 k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# S6 n0 ?) s" u h2 d
here sick.
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) B* p6 o8 O/ I# A& I; U9 ^11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 }+ l5 d/ ~4 d7 y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 K) u( L5 b, m2 Q
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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, `1 J, D' v) a2 s4 }' d6 o6 K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ a# k0 s2 P% d/ ^/ l8 X
" D9 Q0 i. B, o* x& J. M2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 L7 s( o' v7 j8 v) x" T Pis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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* f1 i" w+ ]/ G% v! A4 ]- I3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 T! @( T. E% }" H4 n, Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, }2 H7 o' P1 q& O/ D" ]. dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* F% e* r& N1 J4 Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 H }$ p* }0 [; H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( F1 u0 r# G, |% p3 w$ u* L4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 k6 _* }* J V: c) G9 q$ z& {$ {
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 i8 ]; z/ x" Q7 z G$ M
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 x( Q8 J. |5 }6 Z' A- h& E$ D1 |$ {can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) |2 {' |: W# ~7 Y1 Y0 Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: E3 w8 F |5 O3 x3 a0 l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 Z. a/ g" |# b1 n5 ^more construction starts everyday.2 w( \# w& H: v! _0 O/ x
7 I/ S9 U% ~# k: H% x W8 [ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% x! I4 _, `8 y# e# J& F
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 ^5 P; a0 U, h& H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 \+ W% y+ u* v9 c' ~
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; Z& H/ ~$ F3 _8 Y
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- @% _ P5 b' E) ~4 m! o6 x+ Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# Z v% z8 N6 X" O3 M9 z6 i
activated."+ v" Y( v( B- }: c. k0 ?* w7 m- I( G& u
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! e" n8 b- d4 |7 q! E( h
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 y* v1 x7 q( t J7 ^9 k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 n7 E. A" X$ W11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* _+ u L) v2 \! L1 W
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ a. l2 x4 r9 x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% I+ [3 V; `. l$ Y8 o4 q: Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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