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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 f4 ^" Z& z$ P) i9 n) G- w3 J
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+ c* V6 P6 C7 s- m9 r. \6 c2 A 1. Bring your own house.
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1 z" d1 s d& J9 ]8 a" U b 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 X0 v |9 a4 w% j4 N, ^" vhospital.
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4 |7 c9 ~. J' ^- N& \0 o0 g 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: N/ M D6 w" m: W% W) ycapital of Canada .' S0 a1 V. v* k) q& B$ r* p2 }
5 ~# B4 j# F/ _4 d2 Z+ j 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 \# F' m; M! }. [
capital of Canada ., Z r: ~1 r0 ?
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# o2 W& p1 X& V: Q" x" E) v$8.00/hour.
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7 i) i( p) t# z. C 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour., o0 u& c: n" r5 T
$ D+ S- q+ F0 l: y# O/ v8 `1 b 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 d4 k3 g- B' ~/ h
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9 e+ C) y$ J4 ~- i1 K! h8 N. [) A5 ] 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 H- |2 [) }9 m1 M' ?prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): R: p1 f0 x2 j$ ]5 e9 ~
2 t( C) B% O8 x10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' J8 Z& J1 C$ D/ l1 ]
here sick.( I+ ?5 r! _$ L7 n* `2 ~
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 _, `: P, W4 B. f
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- c% R1 m6 Z s9 w; X5 L5 {" @
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! W5 K7 I! C x5 t4 Q. k, N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 k! |* V% j( Q2 z" x" c% w
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 n) I) m5 s! ~, b; l
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! ^3 t! g" B* O; G
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ _- b) n8 y8 M2 M$ a% Z+ v4 j3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. F6 Z( l& C" G9 ?0 r5 T: Down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% W7 V7 i3 a0 X$ L6 }3 O) J
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 M0 c0 W, j2 @% S, f; M7 s: Mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 d9 _ a- `$ J
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 u8 s( ~& O. }
0 n) l( Y+ K, P# p( K( x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 v7 z$ c( v N# C/ m; V' Y! W" }
cussed out, and possibly shot.8 w1 h* x- I- z% m4 j
' q4 r1 I7 }4 f" [5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that a P/ Z# L) `8 ~! W+ F8 b
can get you shot.
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/ a; f% `# s0 o2 Z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* o* Y8 k5 `, t: ?: t& O e. d
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: q5 \( a8 e+ q5 S: Q4 l) Dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 V( e+ G \& j4 H, W( m F$ m' ^
more construction starts everyday.
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6 k; b7 S, L- C/ Y" w' |( w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 v: j& x5 B: d% c, u7 S3 z; b
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 u2 T. s9 H* u& r9 k# \& q* ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." R# {( e+ x3 l
' G) A' [4 h( L% D6 P- _8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: E7 C8 e7 y% B3 w: B; x2 Kthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km2 V, q' o# ?# x# h, d
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 i" \+ y- V7 P- T1 ^9 t9 m9 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 C5 N, K6 ^% r, N11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' p8 V4 T( N6 xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
. i! l# F( B' q* _4 D, t+ L1 M9 Qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; N% N# \: v) f; |* N% m/ Kvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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