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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 l. }# Z5 P# z" M6 L- ~$ E! |
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% Q; w( ~; w4 K" p8 }$ a# |3 M2 `
( j+ z% x4 z3 V4 t' ~/ B4 g3 V2 a 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. k6 n o4 a, C+ q3 K; Q' Y; acapital of Canada .' s8 o- g( a3 c2 f: K, \
. C; @/ S5 h) x; M1 T 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is4 |7 P0 p* Y" O5 m, L% j& W2 Y
$8.00/hour.$ g7 M% p4 [7 G' g8 @
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; g) p8 K7 f9 h3 @9 P/ e2 z, u
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- L1 y( {% r$ `& _* Q5 q. z. H& C
on a 15 year holiday ?$ }6 [( [' _7 p+ E' C
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' _) R+ ? y8 t; P6 D4 ~( t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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1 K- g+ J. G$ O: N* N- s10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 X- v0 i: O% h6 t/ E% v- T' t
here sick.
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/ s+ ?( o/ ~9 _& g11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ w! ^9 a1 ^% _* q; ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' V/ e. |7 q5 A7 P THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- f7 R4 F4 \% d5 X# p1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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/ b6 k$ r+ g4 t8 i$ _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# s4 ~. u* U7 E* ^& S* r1 X
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 S# c' k% ^0 H4 ?: r f" Rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ L, e9 ]; _) u. @muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 x2 y( ?' r3 T" o/ G
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, q& V* z9 d2 X& q) X; Q9 G! Lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," D* C- }4 T4 A, ~
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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# b$ _+ D# Q+ g" g" g' K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) j: _. v2 H$ N) u
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: E( \3 a; i8 c7 G' d
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 `: s. M. \! p% `more construction starts everyday.
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3 A1 b$ n) y; Z: @/ L/ j4 B 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ K2 y" y& I( W
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ ]; S7 Q; y* v+ L1 a9 e& Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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1 {. |8 m; D+ Q2 e X* |8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% V) F# ?9 ]; z0 g: ^; N
the same road., j/ C" l, T, T4 @
* H# Z, P; |/ [' Z R9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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/ {5 q g6 B: W% w& ?: i10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 Z) S: r- h; Y/ y7 z9 ~# ?9 T
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 h% [, q4 s5 c# w. }accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# B# F! h' x/ b1 ]
* u5 e# ]# k2 Q11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 i b1 u8 `% t# C1 c5 ~$ nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 H7 l- Y( L7 ]$ j& R7 M
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
6 L* a5 T I1 H4 K4 yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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