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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA+ v0 m- }# G4 ?
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and& [; n+ p0 w9 z0 S& e
hospital.9 V' c0 j8 ?; k7 }, h3 f7 z; B
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 L, ]7 N- V- p% F. b/ O- G
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 y7 k0 z/ J1 s1 J$ u0 T3 S
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug7 I# ]+ T- {- [9 r% P- f2 ]
capital of Canada .
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7 m, Y: n7 D. B. D/ [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 `$ r" `+ ~! M$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# p w4 X3 @. I3 E3 Pon a 15 year holiday ?! ~+ r3 X- H7 n- Z
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas1 H/ R0 `/ M, E# ^+ ^$ L9 _6 m; k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 c6 j& z, t/ L( [, J$ ~
; U, p% J: }) n% m9 _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% a' b9 x4 d! h0 |! I. _& v
here sick.: g8 H$ [' C% E- |5 U' e2 N: }" j
5 n+ K0 L3 E8 l9 j) k; B11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) N2 Z/ z0 J2 r8 r- A& q0 Z2 _3 Jyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ f6 l" E9 n& o2 e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.. A1 ^6 E4 O% E5 k& S" L$ ^
) z+ J7 z3 T! A" ^" o' T3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. g1 Y% b1 i _ F% B6 rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# }- ~9 b& m) I/ [" q) \
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; ?% ?* {) l$ n$ k9 e1 f( ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 l* w2 x9 ^. }/ E1 B9 K/ S0 D
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! G% o0 _& ]! {& d2 c: O
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," W1 g8 v8 L7 s5 f+ N
cussed out, and possibly shot.$ g, Z4 S4 B* E% n- M
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
- q5 N8 e' s+ W4 Ican get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 F9 O# Y8 K. K3 dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* w. r' N& l. e ~
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and8 k5 d) s) g$ R) `
more construction starts everyday.+ A* H! v! D- y0 S0 @9 H4 y! `
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' n/ `7 D. J+ g+ X, udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 \. N% b+ q x7 u; ^& vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.9 k% C, b2 {3 O/ [% ]3 p B
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 B0 `# L& K2 q
the same road.% F, D* V: z R% X4 h, ?* J3 u% n$ i
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" h( F# D5 M* }( Y9 Pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 J" [5 ]% G2 e9 c& L7 Qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! \' T( y) }! a$ [& V# P' z7 ~- L
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ k5 i+ b( \. m! a; h zblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% u4 `8 Q2 ~% V: f8 }virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
