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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; |6 r( m1 I2 w9 f3 j) a
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1. Bring your own house., ~: i2 Z4 D1 T) y$ E
2 {5 w$ c" C6 m- m 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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% [& p% v( w( i! t* q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& f& F- d' A% ?$ T1 W
capital of Canada .
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6 H+ h$ L. m$ D) |, K 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug7 b6 }! X; d x( `- b
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 K* @( P% s3 D3 x9 E
$8.00/hour.3 X d6 r3 w& {8 x# J+ b
: B4 v4 o0 r0 h2 f 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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/ _9 p9 U8 a9 q! J% y# y8 c0 i1 { 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, P+ ]6 @. m; C6 [. o# Q% ]9 d J+ ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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1 ^% H) \- G' M$ D- W$ y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% o; q( m5 Q9 F7 p
here sick.
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! ~% r! f3 W- k2 H9 d' @" X11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. |5 `# o- h; k+ k8 @- _
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 y: M8 a, |8 a; A0 P- V% `
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :# u/ E: _3 ~# M1 w( b' H. x8 D3 a
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 z0 x4 O) _% \8 w& j/ qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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; M* M7 Z% B8 j) H9 S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! W4 [2 z1 y% L( |6 R3 @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: B* y2 `! k: Y9 O
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* L, D) z1 S% w: Z, H
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) B( l6 Y" G3 e$ C2 }! Wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, [3 L/ c6 P' N# |. U. |0 ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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Y" h3 K3 ]9 K( D5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 @- f) o3 U# _8 N& G6 H+ g9 E
can get you shot.
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. _$ i u# a3 F( i$ n. l' x6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ a! `+ H5 S6 e& i; J# I2 j- xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' |6 ]0 a( g4 I# M4 ^ K2 D8 j/ W
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& T0 E! U( L: w1 o: H( Hmore construction starts everyday.
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/ j5 Y- ?* @% ^ S 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ P- U7 v# J; l. M) T
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,- P+ K0 J, o$ Z/ y
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."8 e; ~+ T5 I% w b$ f6 Y& w
, t7 s4 [+ q4 b) t5 a1 n+ ~& A3 z10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
- c3 _7 |1 A6 c8 \% M0 k" `7 {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( @' k/ Q2 I5 w5 s$ A
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 E; o8 _! a/ k! V; o6 T: V# ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- I8 ]5 {" P. f- [( Dblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is; u4 X# U" Q# k: P
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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