 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, b3 H5 ] W8 J5 S
# a' l3 j1 r- _0 a! b& J. d. O/ w. d; K
3 p7 q7 U5 Y1 S- K
1. Bring your own house.
1 n9 z7 n1 L! f
. M; u5 f) z0 ^4 p$ F 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
4 d& b# |" ~. \' i: }/ q* K$ thospital., i3 ?, e: y6 z6 _- ] P
) i, O5 x4 }; A' a% d i
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# E+ x! I! y( V n
capital of Canada .5 c' r4 c: s& X0 l+ G
+ a& N. z- m) J! y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
) S7 J, ^ Z* K! ^8 v. ]$ [# w, N- j! H. c5 K* s3 j: o
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. ^! p, ~* \1 A# s- J2 |- G
capital of Canada .; |' L: j9 Y2 h4 y- `
2 a! ]% ]7 ~! g5 W& H# @: h
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is' j) x- p* q% i# j& C; R2 _
$8.00/hour. O! c9 \2 ]7 m- w# i
* ? f! E! B% k 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.: X( K- ~( _, q
9 H X1 @4 T) `5 \ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* y4 O0 M( E5 C5 fon a 15 year holiday ?3 C7 _' ^& w2 a6 E
7 [$ J3 {9 `! O3 Y, ] 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas J/ f% }+ b g) R7 o1 I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
2 O: R6 s' `! q0 O7 H
( W* m& S/ j. k( `: Z( ~10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& X& F7 Y1 S2 i6 O8 v$ r2 m
here sick. v* `: T4 J* F& j7 ]; e3 O6 f7 I
4 l* B, s( @1 ~* }
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ E5 |4 J9 B, {0 T) Q" Ayears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
$ P7 V. W( F+ S, V, W: P3 @& p, v9 I" k7 H; A- a) \% A
* |/ p9 K5 N* z
& A8 M, V& a8 F/ D0 _0 D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : f& E4 m2 P5 S9 S0 H, F
# r! }: w/ {8 P* k1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
7 F9 a) n. e1 {2 o- O8 b' {2 b
& x- p) k0 u2 e( Y* y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- ?2 s+ R$ m H- R- Ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.- z* L0 L: p" J$ W
# m& o9 d) \' U K# y; Q
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) g( x( |+ V, \" Y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ n* f1 N+ p1 }1 Q! z( u" c7 B3 k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 b4 I7 K1 d1 h! \; V) ^6 Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% j! J" I8 w% _ a- B* t. ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! ^" P" D4 k9 c* r: ]0 [; D* G# b
; V- [5 s' P4 d0 n4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 X" o( ?2 M1 |cussed out, and possibly shot.8 \3 [4 B& V& f- ^& @
! p0 f' k# k4 y# [5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 G. u% [. K' m3 r1 |
can get you shot.
5 x8 B, k# f% z8 e! R7 X# z+ L( W6 w
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 F. g, y0 a* R, hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 E1 V% ]8 A6 Rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 I6 n9 } Z! H% [" F ?+ f; ]more construction starts everyday., t1 r, v$ w' R. c5 H* R B
: n" X' b" s9 g+ ^1 }" o
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" \6 z! ?. X6 x) {* odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,' \; f8 P8 x. R: L6 e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. I! j* b: _, c# \7 k
+ m8 J* H9 t0 W
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" I8 \9 Q- b) u3 a
the same road.8 f0 v; v5 c% b3 w% S2 i
# V3 L0 C* {: T
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ [7 V/ D& z5 a/ e3 A: t, j# s/ E' `) mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) k2 X2 w' a4 o, ~- S" h
activated."# l* p% O1 Q* h- N& C4 u# ^' K' n
2 E7 L; s. ^2 }* T0 P# I10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, n' j9 U5 ]) w9 N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"* b2 a" P8 B0 r
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* C' N5 I+ Q x
+ D. m; U% S' ^
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* h! R. q' `: e# i% J* `4 |; m7 S
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 c7 y8 D' F5 Iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 n7 [# R% e7 mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
* c5 c$ z! M+ d S
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
4 O; }! x" ?- C
