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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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7 t8 D( R& u8 |) u 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' X6 b$ N+ {3 L" R/ b; a2 R
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# z! a8 q; L4 p4 [( ~0 z
capital of Canada .9 U! [" I7 g' z3 j& c% O* q- o+ m/ V
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." k# h3 m0 h( M
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! N6 n6 S" ]5 n4 V
capital of Canada . m2 Z! \" V0 k* X9 h4 k0 L
' P, j( N. h- E1 v2 A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! I; U; ~5 c8 z- j/ D) B f3 l
$8.00/hour.4 m- J. v- @/ F
+ y: w+ v9 x/ o. h/ U 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; K& ~- \) Z! J
on a 15 year holiday ?+ N# i* s! `' Z$ B6 N: j
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ `+ t/ ?# M0 g7 v2 Eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* D% F# ]! q( l/ T6 c& |/ I/ k6 @10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
/ l8 h! L5 u' D! h4 uhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; c1 R; E( B& N) pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 d/ [. T" O6 M/ C
. X4 v) P9 k9 c+ s1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 i: r+ i9 e4 W; s" y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
; B0 ~ f1 g8 O9 v! ?! p: His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.3 F4 I/ M' y; u
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& a/ z1 \: c$ x; P1 ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; f$ K+ N% `* L1 hmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires9 o4 U: C1 Z/ }" q8 T! [
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
' a2 I% u8 x& d& |+ K* Bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: [8 F0 U7 i! |; Y, j6 W/ [
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% P: `" _- T4 K
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% q$ H. C" }, F8 v4 `9 T2 ~
can get you shot.3 q# X; ~% p3 [* b3 U
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 p) k P& A$ y; R
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, f2 Z- {; L [2 Q7 H2 }day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ q. M1 b5 l2 A2 Umore construction starts everyday.$ U g; l9 q. _4 H( p
" R0 H9 Z5 S$ V3 a+ A q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- U5 H! O- e0 X! G% P. I7 ndeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& p' V; ~" I+ k* V( Q5 Y t* t4 d
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ ?# X9 H. Z( G' {' D4 ~
7 H. e3 g8 q1 N4 t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! t& K- x$ Q+ y( q& P7 \9 W
the same road. H8 j- `. w' \# Y
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& ?' D2 G6 Z7 A" X( Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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: g* \$ Z+ f3 M$ L- Y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km# g" ?. J$ e, Z# c- {# M7 w7 ] b
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 U: j) `3 w4 }3 L( S! r
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# K& v _3 k, C; R- c9 C2 y c
9 ]8 g3 U- _5 y2 x11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* i5 V% _2 ~# l8 t$ U
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- F. v' r# x2 R
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
6 x c! T6 m- u9 o, v a: X; Lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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