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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 e4 M0 S* k5 u1 J* F2 J+ v, @
capital of Canada .
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1 \. ^! E A+ B) ?& N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .' X) z% S" e; ^6 X0 @& j. R2 Z v
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; @, n! ]) U6 \: A
capital of Canada .
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" Z. Z% A: N$ a2 Q- C* O 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is3 d8 {& l& }) H# c9 b+ q0 R% e
$8.00/hour.6 r# ?2 j% U; }+ e6 O0 J7 f# k
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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! Z' {1 V, L! Q/ |; U# H- D 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas9 ~, X0 J3 n, G; V s) ?2 Y0 V( O) I2 k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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; D- a0 E7 x! W! a* a11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
* w9 {" c. o% B! v/ r/ syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 z& T x+ J" F
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) N0 D2 V1 t E7 H3 z( O/ {; l# _ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- D1 v8 U _- d+ f7 }( O1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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u1 ~1 Q# ]/ _/ `5 g. F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour# F! h7 {/ q E6 `: C$ K
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 o0 Z. w' ]3 h* m3 a, s& @( c- @
* I6 @8 m4 a+ @3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! H3 Q5 h4 a5 Aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* f- U" {% ^3 u$ {- u7 e- v4 K& S
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& t# Q) t' ?2 o- J
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! k3 C% T7 d* X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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# F/ H4 u. S: x# a4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 U0 O# Y+ N: ^" @+ Scussed out, and possibly shot.2 z; P6 u. S- C& ^! H
+ Q; y" [6 W- q; F3 N5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
* s( W# \2 d) ]can get you shot." E: N [' O0 E- f2 K) m# w+ W- E) S
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: `0 q9 F+ ?6 L* L E0 E
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday.. A/ D/ I5 p+ I
8 [* Q- M2 |9 {" K) Q, R( t8 D 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,7 q$ C+ w. O) Y$ }" [
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 c% {* C% z& T- x. h B
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 L% I6 @$ U B+ s" ^8 r
$ k9 C* _# Z0 w8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; a( m Q/ |0 P' k; uthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" @; O) `7 {6 J8 e- c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ E* g. d, v# Y! A: N2 v
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% `, f* v0 \5 _3 y, E" C/ \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# N B/ P7 J5 F) K% X
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 q9 {7 l* q, h0 ]0 Y& mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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