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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 Y4 P) I9 P9 f+ z) l! t 1. Bring your own house.
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6 t1 o4 \5 B, [9 Z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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* _. P, P I- L7 i/ j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 r. z- |& v5 t5 l5 ]# B. Mcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ `- Q1 ~7 |& }' [, i' D 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 T' r7 F! T# P g
capital of Canada .& m8 A/ m4 t( n5 B9 q2 m
9 {; t! p0 e* X& Z* D$ E9 h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; V X+ R7 W, s) r0 X8 F( `$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
3 u; m) E/ ^# J5 U8 k! {8 [ Y& }on a 15 year holiday ?
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) b4 s, J/ w: N0 h& Y8 J 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 ~, {6 t5 H, h: M" m+ Nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" p) _( i6 f: i! z5 ^, zhere sick.
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+ C) q. K- T) Y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! A B2 M# _+ J" X& C( \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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0 i8 y2 o1 v5 f3 K7 k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 _; B H, E/ ]# w1 ^- ?& K7 G
: | t9 u: ^6 ~7 `6 {1 b1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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) C" R1 W# o2 K5 p0 D6 H2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
; y: \$ _; o8 z# dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( D& g u( L( M: G4 k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# l" q2 w D" e& a% xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 e7 }+ S5 m* J# u4 ?6 igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 p! T) {8 z, i( ?3 vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. s4 z6 l# C/ T6 O& b% [$ M7 s
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 B: Z3 N; s* V) Kcussed out, and possibly shot.. U$ T' O' W- H5 `7 w
& z/ J# O; \0 Z4 B7 L) Q/ A+ ^6 d- v5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 D* \/ ~1 |7 ]% T) H* xcan get you shot.: B& v+ z9 Q7 h5 M
4 w I0 D! r1 G1 x. @0 w6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour c2 v+ C7 z' j- k, _5 u
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: L2 D6 C$ Z/ }9 K4 R( P) z) m: ?
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and; ~7 L' H; A; ]! X) A( `: V
more construction starts everyday., V9 Z9 {/ Z3 K) Q
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
M1 x: H8 \. B/ K( Y6 M& S9 udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
~9 N; x) A4 o3 T$ ]. Q9 Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 A F% m# T/ i- k' G
4 w% N6 G6 D ?4 O* c) T1 ~8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( a1 G$ f# ]/ c" }( @5 Vthe same road. B2 v0 B# }: ?$ C: f4 X: w
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( R& ~0 ~% L) w2 F3 f' Q: F
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ P1 H, b3 g% Y) O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; q8 r8 Y, m1 F1 ?; n
/ j. i: h' O) U/ s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' r& u( w3 e8 r
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and9 c- s( y$ i) V( Q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 [+ v/ q/ V3 W% I; s/ _4 N6 G
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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