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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.7 M0 u5 t: L! i8 t0 _
/ _: E( F5 a; j4 ^: s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% p z8 p. ^5 ]) K
hospital.8 Z( O4 W/ M6 k' e( a/ `
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 E4 [( n- f$ _5 s+ H3 kcapital of Canada .
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( s9 A2 r$ ~2 W$ _" i. g9 q; C' ` 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 ?; J6 N* K2 d N+ b& X. [capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ n/ e/ t2 d. T$8.00/hour.5 T( d6 l9 t! `) x. y
8 ?2 W2 y" ?4 ^# H, D. v+ v2 l/ e 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 N& o* u w6 ]7 {4 c( ?
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 d: X% ~8 ^( z/ e, U. r" b
on a 15 year holiday ?* B" T, H! ~' n& }2 x
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% b9 h9 y( }* d6 ^; f# a! Gprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ A5 I2 |4 B5 R2 _; {( Y5 h
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12) K% e7 z% a8 l' U( w; v" d6 ?! ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ Q3 d/ K$ @4 P8 E
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: z3 T2 g, O, l; W- C. a5 Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& H& ]) Y9 a1 D% K$ g2 \, `: k$ N4 y3 ]
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ ^9 m5 [1 ?2 S& E4 ?0 K5 Bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 U& j" ^2 ]4 R1 Q# `* vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& ^( n' i* B. n! D# r
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 r: z1 {" G* Z/ g/ C: b0 o8 |
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. e3 t, N Q4 ?
* X, ]" ]' ^) o8 L" D( G9 |/ \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 N" f8 |+ u, \cussed out, and possibly shot.4 D8 k! u" g9 R7 o6 Z: N
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% d3 ?9 H+ X: ^+ o
can get you shot.# C2 { b) A U% b; q8 l% E$ ]
h! H* k6 I) F% ]1 C6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
p i, c/ X, S( L( [! ?barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' M+ u$ x& H$ | H# Y @( r8 Vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ w+ I) ? X# R$ R% U" u
more construction starts everyday.& C8 T9 P7 b0 O k8 e. t- F# Y( ^
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
+ x! y( _ F# J3 {deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
. c3 h" m% U7 W( f" v) Zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ v! o3 |- M: ?- E% L6 |# Q
+ P$ l7 J# u$ l5 p% X- Q7 }, k8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all n" P: y4 w6 M2 u! l N0 e6 u1 c& d
the same road.1 } ?6 G$ ^ U6 _6 m9 P* [
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 }+ c- s% i; ^$ u# S4 Eshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
, Q6 x: i% _% B [activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. j% T' I( q- \ N' b( ]5 K0 @# dzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 Q6 W( u6 d- X2 l& Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" s0 W5 x- G& U: M. i11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( y5 O9 \+ W' |) Klined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 h+ B8 n. v' z) ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 |* t: P& ]) k8 o2 U/ |
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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