送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
1 D5 q6 w) G. y& E  fhospital.
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! F9 W1 l1 h  {/ g% A- { 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

* l% `$ z$ a  _) N1 Y8 `- j$ K6 A1 t/ ` 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .
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5 s8 e2 K$ ?! Q/ C5 c; Y' x 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

0 ^3 c) f$ ^2 ?' O  Q5 t 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) L+ d: x  Y; D/ Y" i, Ion a 15 year holiday ?

' K  k# v3 J8 o 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 J3 T3 T3 K2 t+ rprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

$ j6 f- _3 i4 E5 N: p! q1 B) E4 l10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
  h: A% v2 w; S8 Oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

: n" _; Y6 T7 w$ [6 `7 K+ g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

4 ^% W; y! b% o( `) k4 v) M2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 T; a9 X9 v; a$ k9 i( z6 V; O. c# Mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ p0 ?, `  l/ C6 o* e6 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- j0 E( A9 @1 J$ e/ I8 p8 j6 x8 \phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

) q/ g* t# F% _, G4 M( d2 m4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; y' [+ A( q. A  |! V  Acussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 z# [2 P5 b, @6 X4 Zcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ S2 X9 E  k: X( N- p, [  \day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 m* y3 l6 C3 ]! y$ xmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ ]' ]& [: d4 {6 ~- Qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
3 ?: M6 U% p1 F. [8 M  `) Athe same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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* k8 S5 f5 |3 L4 k/ q2 M7 @11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ Y' @1 C7 @0 x* E3 G: zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
+ m  R( c% Y/ n+ s有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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+ ~7 m- z" Y" M5 [  K# l[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
1 Y# }. m! e7 O7 A4 l朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ g# l2 O  m; C# w' L满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

$ J5 r5 }2 l* \$ N这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.