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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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# f  r# C" n% Y 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* U  g) U4 f6 ]5 Z7 \8 H
capital of Canada ., B- [# \% p! w1 ]

+ t6 S  q2 i' N6 ?3 u; m, e3 s 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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2 {$ E3 Y0 _& V2 q+ Z8 a. Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; \' T; h8 }$ v5 ~1 hcapital of Canada ./ V) I7 @$ @  @1 P

# ?1 ]; a9 Q1 n! R! t5 ], D  Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 j- X% r# v8 `* F3 g6 K) I
$8.00/hour.
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$ C# y- n! {" a, I, X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." m  @/ c; T# o+ O* K
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* a5 k1 h0 ^8 f7 o0 @5 n
on a 15 year holiday ?/ }1 D! e. z  t& a9 j1 t; S0 a
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 ^1 E  ^7 V5 ]  }' a. h5 \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 j: X( J) i# R
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" W) f0 f9 C2 P5 E& @
here sick.! I& J2 I$ D) x% z2 t

+ C! k, ~& p/ ~. A- r9 e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. D- t6 V5 V  R( `/ R
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 b. n2 G5 e" a; ^. M/ S

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8 j& G7 U- }3 |; X! h+ v! M THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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: l' A5 u; ]$ o4 G/ L8 @" e( L1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* D0 K; Z- \+ F" ?. tis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 |8 J. }9 y/ V  @: a1 I( e

' X7 u1 d4 D9 z" i5 F' K2 }' j0 U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( }! T" @% g. N# ?1 ~# o6 j8 ~
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 e. K8 j4 Y: U7 fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ e, N. q& v( U7 g6 Y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 q9 I( b4 \) I/ {5 xphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( M; b, Y" i/ [( U" ^8 u7 W5 _
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. C8 Y! y6 c3 W) y7 {$ ?cussed out, and possibly shot.  E, i) Z1 P5 a% `2 m( s

& {; \8 B+ L' h, R' J5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# O: a+ V9 S% z3 {can get you shot.% B# y. K! C4 }8 C+ V$ B' K
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 |0 X* \3 I" \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% }, a" B5 [, M+ K& T  X3 |# r$ M' {day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 B- d8 h5 H# r5 X9 T0 g* `1 m1 b' ^4 Bmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ @- h/ \" b/ w$ `4 C/ }  \/ ~
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ N& g8 \3 b5 Z+ G0 ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: J% y  V, y, I( X+ N
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 K% S( q% w8 x
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' b2 f: |" g+ k  w+ |* [shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
2 c% S. H: ~3 v, w" L! c2 \/ K5 {activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& u, \5 {, ]! }: a1 x: Q0 S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' o9 J2 P6 u& x8 J5 I  {0 faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 L; A7 W- G5 R% e; `( O2 U11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 A% [& z- G' B+ Z2 ^0 [$ t# \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; |' K4 W9 p5 P2 ]3 ~
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ x8 [. S  B4 b% V9 l; o; X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

% I2 A& B# F' ?. ~0 A7 I; L5 Z有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。/ B( ?: x2 ^' k* j5 Q/ G
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。7 C8 M3 s2 U2 q; w% B" A
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 9 _" y: q' o: h# }
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% K& A5 o  v% E, n2 m) R- P朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
8 b. M9 B, A; j' ~1 f满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 0 O* z3 x& u9 {0 D; a+ E' V
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3 Z, r7 |' T- C 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?1 t6 Z) n, t( M7 L* ?& l
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
: |# ~5 G+ w8 m4 q朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
; Y4 `; a# e' f4 ~6 p6 C9 ^, `5 V满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。/ Z. r" K/ G  ]0 ?

9 b. v( Y4 v: h) J" U! N5 k5 p1 O再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.# m& G1 E  E, |1 p( c. E. p

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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