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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 ?- A% h. G+ [+ U# u0 w
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& n$ T; F1 B' y f 1. Bring your own house.# q. w! e" k2 u0 \
. ]7 n0 A9 T- o% Q3 z$ \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
! f) f' Y, G F7 d- Y; x+ bhospital.
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7 H, {0 j/ K: s' j 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* ^0 l; k1 g2 M! c# `* L: f
capital of Canada .: Q `# T1 G) I- r$ _
. P9 m) m8 W9 n 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
$ C! J- }& }* ^5 b) L0 xcapital of Canada .0 W6 g9 G! g. m9 G- l( E+ S
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 |, A3 J2 P1 | b$8.00/hour." r/ M2 M* d# w( `, Q& I2 ^
1 Y" h, V$ m* O0 }3 F 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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) M1 f) L. f2 C# \ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 o1 }- n, A6 P1 G# {8 N# Yon a 15 year holiday ?% p; L3 ]1 z' l) u3 S- }
( ~( W, R9 D% t& V7 J! g 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas1 J, c) B* _7 G0 k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 G& ~% X+ i& c- D3 s) _1 S6 k$ x10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 I& G i- H; R+ S
here sick." t+ `, W: T0 m
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 128 l0 }7 I9 }9 K) w7 T
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ W6 H5 c' k; _% w' C( {
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :# T: ]) k3 H4 v! f- }, V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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1 G8 N* e+ p* p0 M2 X6 j( D2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 f3 f* Q) ]4 r) r! h" _; d$ a- {$ dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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1 J: l' [0 n5 a9 x3 e2 v3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( Z7 l+ y t% g! w+ x
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 S, K$ V! l# J7 x% C# U
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# ^' F, \) _/ h
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" {, K1 i/ A& Ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% T( k/ t( l; z G
* V& P; j, k' {! H P4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& q( h/ T; o, E' c/ m4 Scussed out, and possibly shot.# e. L0 ~' w6 D0 e+ J7 v' z
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
?2 A v3 m, [; B! V- ?7 }can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' m0 u5 W; @& R- r: }, V! D( Q! B7 Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ t! I) u$ q2 G$ _$ P$ z+ b, ^ f Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% h$ K$ m! F/ t' g5 v4 Nmore construction starts everyday.
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# H- c% N0 r% {0 U6 _& b& G+ |" x$ L 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 M3 T+ z' \3 |+ S* ]) g! L2 K
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# M, `: ?* _# G9 [7 T! G# |7 k. o# f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: o# K+ _" q- A& V4 s, `
: P: ?) |. z* ?5 t. Y! s5 ^8 h8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: \6 ?6 f/ f, S; M
the same road.5 C: z4 ]4 R( z7 X( `5 }4 @
0 @% s, P; f5 d) ~( i/ }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% y' P# N; a/ n1 R4 e! Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; Z. K. B. D0 X |; g
activated."
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1 M" _; W, c, H* Q- q' q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( f9 t" i4 K% z- ~7 _. W
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ Q& I y2 r8 J
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 y* N! [" y* R& B6 d
# n; q0 [' P0 W+ n: o5 D11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ g0 O4 w( `* @7 c( j
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 k+ y1 S/ \/ [4 tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 C8 |$ n7 m" D9 P9 s9 S) J! avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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