 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- w# K0 G9 I7 f/ h" K
# ?1 t% V& M5 h2 m4 e
3 C0 C- t- z5 Z. w
5 U# \4 j+ O8 X+ E* O 1. Bring your own house.
# [/ U7 l0 E7 O- S* Y( l, V. I) j1 \
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and* A; V, g. j* e: G; G
hospital.) ?' U/ z2 P6 l, N
, _9 N% l/ r+ V/ r% v/ _ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- p/ `7 Q# h5 L; m; ocapital of Canada . V, ~) p' h5 `1 m+ B
' h+ H7 p# W: _- W 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ X8 B: z! O* r# @
$ c7 v! p3 ?7 o& \* T" u) m6 F4 ~" q
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 k7 V. o3 x$ ^: Kcapital of Canada .& F3 d: f3 I1 o& r( q+ ?1 h! J. Q, ]& U z% c
# T6 T3 @ d. W8 z* y( y% E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 L% Q( c* E9 |" b* N# n( g$8.00/hour.
& F8 f6 h) d/ t% L4 U- i) ^& @+ p0 o6 R& k( l
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 J$ b+ f/ T3 C
" X, R' z& G, [( @; F+ H- u. j* c 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* m: Z: N* f: ?7 c# h5 y- U' m% }on a 15 year holiday ?3 C1 C5 u8 N. U7 z
# C; k4 J5 D; x8 @3 s( U7 Z1 K4 I
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( j, a9 b9 d8 Y8 ^! o" t, Z2 W7 I# X- x
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% l- ^' r) Q5 s* l; b% V
5 ^; M% W5 Y1 z1 K. N% v& m/ }
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 E' ~1 W4 F8 l2 s9 g0 E I
here sick.
! v' }$ ?: c; Y4 f/ @
" I3 M4 M8 D; B$ t9 {. i; z* A! C11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. E$ U( `' b! d, C) Q/ d$ {
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
9 J4 e5 w/ X9 v% p4 N: [1 U
+ e& {) g0 Z) F
% f, e2 s2 u/ u0 i7 T% t. U+ S3 v, a$ n0 D
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
- }+ g2 ^, ^- n o1 c! E
( T; C2 {9 L1 ` l1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
3 h1 t6 g1 a8 P; ~- q. Y; B1 ]4 y: u1 j% s# I4 g4 }$ d1 o' X8 A* {; J
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 r/ i& O& u7 i2 m- P
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.. L9 [1 J" ?6 Q! t8 P5 V; S
+ T4 H1 e+ _' s. k4 Q7 M3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 K$ L, Q+ y! i; q) ` S% \ h! Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' }+ i" }! }/ @! @+ C4 h( H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) I# b- ?- K& H" N; A) Y' w# O
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. |' c4 P" M9 Z: |$ _9 Q+ jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
1 G- c- L1 @+ a! N( ^5 T% Y+ w. z# J* ^7 P S: M Z0 O: C' e1 q
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 ~; y2 y8 W# E- L7 |
cussed out, and possibly shot.0 P5 N; s! V# K3 z
+ r% ?3 K; M$ q, h6 ^# [5 f5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 r$ a1 P; Q6 D; m9 tcan get you shot." C) y" z5 x" K" S4 t* Y8 \/ X6 @5 G
6 u& |/ b- G4 b, L5 o b% `6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" Y6 C" i2 H, U1 c' Y8 ?: M U3 s& ]
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. t) H( X) F: ~+ H6 `8 `& Z7 Mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ U# ?( w' n9 g4 T, ]6 X
more construction starts everyday.
& {. }% [5 `( Z1 @! {# ?$ L' ^7 R) R/ Y3 {
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- U2 r; l- t! Kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 V7 H5 Q& ?' W* s$ E$ {
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 ^& H& T$ J2 c( s3 i
1 A1 u ]; Y9 K; x4 ~8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% s5 \3 T' p4 a( T- gthe same road.% O7 v. Y/ p3 ~* \6 T; }0 s
) d* }% x. P6 J3 V& R. c
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 C5 X: @8 J/ \shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) M- e- P& ?) I# n' x9 m
activated."
1 s0 s0 ]4 |5 t$ X- D- G! Y2 t5 I6 k4 M* N$ L! T. w c5 C, z
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ ^( E/ s! `) j8 d, h' Z7 l! Z7 h
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( P& Z( Y t4 A( N$ V8 q% l
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 e4 n- m! y: B$ N* Z0 t
5 `6 U4 _! a* G. P/ \11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 I1 F, N" J+ x9 B7 Q/ _0 S
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. x! d+ w" O' s# l
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 `) j- O9 i, A4 dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
N# @# V+ X2 o0 Y9 X5 z3 N# P; _3 Z
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
% P R$ a' x& J7 o+ n- ^. h) I3 F, h
