埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2932|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% M* a1 y# H( a4 V% b
; g& A  m. x+ ~; l/ O* s, G9 j  N

2 T, h0 F2 W! C8 ~
9 s2 j5 ?8 q" J" I 1. Bring your own house.$ g6 H5 @% h5 g+ ~( g4 ~3 m

9 M2 _& ~8 ]% n6 N2 r9 f- E2 i) ] 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
9 H/ K% h6 `+ z# E) E/ ]hospital.# J6 f, S; X2 N" v! S$ Y: _5 ]6 o
7 v# X- S; a  b  N6 k4 @+ S# P- Z
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ \" E9 [" I8 B. O7 A: F. Zcapital of Canada .2 o/ i$ M; a2 U4 W$ w
' Z/ Y9 E& K  m" o& G: `" a: Z7 Y
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) h- i* b2 F2 K. y

3 o, t9 V( `2 {# I( D" T3 G 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! \' l* K9 P, ?! J6 h/ O
capital of Canada .* [. g1 `0 `  V. A" ^# H

) ]8 P# O& |$ N; G. S" @8 h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! v" C6 }- g9 d$ s. p' `$8.00/hour.
. o. v; J, [9 J% }* L: w% |, y  o- L0 [3 L5 m
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; g2 [: l! z2 J7 X- c& }

  R% D% k$ Y( q5 j  V, d 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- @: Y+ S6 x( |$ Y  i) P( qon a 15 year holiday ?
+ N# V4 k2 E- v, c5 S. |, r
9 r% z* k! N% f8 X' y0 @9 x' q) R. y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 }/ A' N+ g' }: W# tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* N- t& }$ m; P) Z5 Q. N

9 N/ j. Q6 n: [" }6 f9 ]10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come, a) X. W. X, E7 [0 J3 i$ O& T$ l
here sick.8 `- d7 z; K# D; P7 {

5 G& A, a4 P9 M+ t3 {6 ^' h9 f11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 m& S+ Z3 S0 A* ^# r; {& D* Zyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
; e  i2 M7 ~( Z2 o* F
$ \3 e, x: R! I7 o
* g* I" A  H6 S4 S- e
; r, n- x3 E7 G8 I9 H5 Q4 I( V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
( G' z& g% t  N9 c; B0 n0 U7 y% K: E, `7 o  y( f
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
# \) p9 v# c* r" M, F9 m
' t& B7 b) T4 i) R2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ C: q! E* W1 l% F  I6 g6 Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 P! h4 B# a8 S( \- _* t7 D* g4 o1 [

: @. ]$ ~3 X/ w: H) R: I' y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& N3 L4 V$ p$ X6 L/ @' Kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" e0 T" {# x* q9 E: G, q7 d( _4 ]muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 X$ F) Z2 H3 N3 p/ P# o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: |. J% H& \4 n/ Dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
) N3 |2 L& G( M; l. V4 }
* @5 }4 P2 J0 ?4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. }2 {) j* M; R
cussed out, and possibly shot.
2 a, ^" H! L1 o- m" i4 R- E, @
' Y( ^' U4 f7 i( |9 D5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ ~; W7 _* G. m0 V) Q, acan get you shot.
. c0 f7 r4 r9 }; J$ j
" K6 q% Y! J, [1 a: j! u0 e4 t% K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' h* e3 u. w+ [2 h, @
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 T7 z6 V. j! J+ Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# D/ y3 `2 u5 c2 X( u8 u/ R/ f
more construction starts everyday.3 a/ M- i8 S/ r: ]' s  b
& [. o4 i% k$ c5 {( ]6 A
  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ S0 [+ S1 s) n6 G5 t) N3 ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 x# b2 o$ X% o: N- ~" F8 h2 Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
5 k& I, {! M- _, s- G
& `$ E$ w& y$ @' x- u/ Z$ {2 C8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 f4 k) D; ?$ Mthe same road.
. U; X) D% d7 H
6 G% y7 W) C2 x' R" v  p9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; G+ S' G  @& h
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
* r$ L- a1 U& R* Factivated.", o$ D9 T. n0 R( W7 u

2 C1 ^0 }8 a% ?, O2 G10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! x2 f+ a! _8 |
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
3 O1 x/ j; p+ c% K' ?! y- Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
' H+ }5 g; h' N& K* X8 S+ R1 _7 l/ R) g( @9 G% Z- [5 j' i' Z
11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* c5 v. t3 v7 |! j/ s
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- z+ N, E7 S- V4 V6 J0 u% Wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' z, g1 {* l. h6 C. [4 j9 s3 `& R
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
8 S8 m! h- C9 j8 m5 y
有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。; M" Y8 j3 Z+ a) |' U4 O, S- K
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
4 z9 \$ \. S5 Y' ]& h5 y+ @4 ]有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
9 F2 S+ W: ~( |, j; @" w5 X  U
" p& g1 o; Q0 N此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
# m, G2 h& y! m* P4 _" C$ X4 b6 L! J  v3 y0 `+ f5 C3 n
& ^7 _( V! ^+ ^

4 y/ Q) P! P6 Y3 d8 `% A[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
& D9 l+ L+ H+ Y/ G朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
2 @2 P3 j. p( ?  Q9 h满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
" s! r. a" Q  b5 r+ A2 ]! v# z ...
' _- r# h! V2 \! P" f2 E
# l0 a7 A. g5 T1 Q+ s' n6 \: k# \
说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 : C# I! I0 k! y# w  r
$ Q/ W* m6 ?1 q3 k. D9 P5 f
) ]" y5 r2 s8 z. [, M& o
说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

( q" x- C$ |3 g' U2 ~6 \9 {# W$ [2 N
$ O, l- |; Y# D9 M4 }$ b7 M9 ]这么刺痛你了吗?7 F3 f1 t0 s7 Y+ d, G
, N& T7 ~6 n. j4 `$ m
我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
3 B2 j6 y$ `! A$ r1 m- G: Z) B朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
& [& s0 V( u; O0 B. i满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
$ f; W) O& ~, \$ w5 g ...

6 d( E; e# h6 r# X+ ^0 ?你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。, M: n! a* a& A1 {7 q( i# ], A

3 D$ y# c( O' E再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
6 ]1 k1 G2 B) v6 j6 p8 I' Y" D& f0 n- ~! Y/ n! Q
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-3-16 03:29 , Processed in 0.175171 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表