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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.. X% Y  s6 X% D2 h3 V7 I4 J" g

# E- X0 a1 c& {' t( G8 U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 ]# z1 F2 @+ U* ?6 m
hospital.% }& o3 m1 [, V

) e1 B# v2 N% k: @, A3 j9 z, O# H 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 i& b9 v# L4 x$ J
capital of Canada .' f* K$ l/ s( c% P

5 T) L3 y! l. J  c- G0 u" n# r/ o 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# ?8 y& s, b: J9 K+ q6 M
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 Z* @  E. _% r5 D
capital of Canada .( c2 h; v1 q! u: o: K7 x

9 X' A, z: q' w( F" U 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) d7 b" e6 z2 k# [$8.00/hour.7 P' q$ w- w" ]  b/ e3 w" r

% J6 a: ?5 F3 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ ?6 [7 J" v3 y* n( R9 con a 15 year holiday ?/ g$ I; q$ H: `0 N6 V
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ o$ B( V' C+ m: U+ \) e7 ~prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ M2 m. M' [4 T( W) L: ]; Yhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ L# C$ _# u) W( r4 \years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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  K8 d% {  ]- v/ g2 N+ x& k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 L' e9 ^- @+ R4 ?  P. x0 h
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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0 y# d/ y/ h2 e2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 y) S: R, K/ q9 Q4 G5 A, dis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." ~) Y4 `2 u, }: S: y; N

( \: ^* b' h4 p9 b+ S, a3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. N- V6 p" G& e! i: v+ \2 Iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* M6 ?5 [, H9 Q! X. K4 S& [; p
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: S$ n* q* g) q6 W- e( e  \  ~go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
  U! m6 N$ A1 _0 dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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, q& i# l" q+ T; V, n6 O1 v; @4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,  O( _/ _  S& J2 ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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3 I, D4 c( p: ^8 v3 X- l5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: P+ x  |+ R  Z) T, K/ k$ X3 ?can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 I1 q- R3 D' {8 W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% O1 U: b+ ]) w- ~. pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 [- k7 w3 P! N0 M- r6 nmore construction starts everyday.5 J  O* q" P$ E, }" Y+ ]5 t

4 W0 \9 k( z- V1 [/ E  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' X9 v6 b) c& Y$ n. ~. ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 e% L' U* B4 J+ i
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 {! u7 J' r; U3 `) q' P! R

7 z$ m8 V# y1 M  j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 M1 I- T/ F9 s
the same road.9 E$ [/ n( |) T6 ]2 u+ x' l: Z
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 w8 h: f1 y) T# ?6 [% i& Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 i' `2 l4 y% T% S) O, p
activated."
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* j7 q% v$ p3 v/ q% J7 J- w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
; ~: D" R4 Y6 G9 K+ g0 Ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 ?1 U8 ~& ^/ C2 {4 P2 [: r
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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# A* L  ~4 ^- P- e# ]3 f1 I11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) @1 d, _& @2 m( ]5 qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' |, N: U' j+ e2 m; {* M0 Hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ ?0 y/ l7 D+ Z( q' D
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

' Q# T& z$ C3 T, j- m有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
1 Q' T( R- x# _满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* l# d1 g7 o8 K9 ?" _/ g: T
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : ' e5 B* o2 G' [

" O5 J/ k3 ?' T: E1 x! k( A此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 % P4 N: [2 A6 i7 h/ [
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1 b" f3 T" c1 S  }* X# {" |[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
9 v" i( a. P# X# h( r5 w- E( ~朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
# d( o. v: j+ N4 P: Y9 s% Y满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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6 T# W0 F) p- j3 q0 }( a2 H 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?
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+ X3 c8 C' w0 c+ C4 g8 B- ?我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
* y* n6 e- B0 x. `# P, C朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* T0 r! I8 L" ~. ]1 ?! Q- c满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。9 A" N, ]* v( N  r; p+ k" r
...

/ v2 u" I) ]- n你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。, @! d' ~% @! J: g
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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