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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 J8 l3 v8 z2 _4 `
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% [- j0 s+ E' w6 m: ]2 G 1. Bring your own house.6 i' \2 L9 t9 ^" B) k3 F3 ?
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# ~" f6 D) P4 k i7 {3 ]4 [
hospital.$ D; S% q; l |* X. ^
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 I' P8 j& o( R) ^4 C/ W- Y
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 t% i/ D: c+ n- a( F, C6 A- a
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
) N- {$ Y8 n+ M- T+ B- j. v; Scapital of Canada .
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& I: Y. i# J6 k* P$ t# z. l 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( g( @6 H; `! Y% R$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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$ i% [1 p4 s% ^% m4 t5 H# C! n 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
0 q* G* o4 h: Y% Z$ f. Uon a 15 year holiday ?5 r9 C; Q6 b+ `* G( _
9 ~3 r+ j9 v; f, D; {& o8 h7 m5 e 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# ^; c+ k4 ?, [7 `! V, U3 T+ \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! n: _% w9 m8 ]! _( e- D- G, i
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' ~4 z" i8 g& d$ t. bhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 e0 I5 P7 F5 f1 P7 cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., m2 J1 @: R6 q) h9 [9 g1 l
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% ?7 C; I$ @ C9 x% r% O
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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; m) t6 h6 z% t2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! R& {- q9 N: N3 J9 U# ^is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 t ~5 w8 k/ F6 n+ A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- Q9 `1 z1 U" ^muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 h7 h6 l/ D3 |, [2 u7 g
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, H9 c' I& L7 ]& F. D* E Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." K7 l4 i( S9 A/ S0 @
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; s+ o5 {3 j+ e. L% H6 e8 e' l8 {
cussed out, and possibly shot.9 g3 y$ o% k5 k0 h6 ?" f
, J0 k' }5 k# z$ f5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 M0 j6 x7 d! D$ b& ncan get you shot.7 K! D8 ~: _6 t7 L* Z/ L
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- T0 f- Z3 V0 \barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; }* J, y& S8 n; j+ C( f: i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) S' T7 M4 a Q- N+ {more construction starts everyday.2 s C6 A5 a! \( x
( U; \/ m8 S( l2 B( N9 S$ D6 a 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' T7 \: N* J, O- N* mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 S7 t$ A1 \* l
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 r- w9 e8 B: \+ J( o' `
4 Z) q7 T5 H7 o; H. S6 C' N% C8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( D$ }! Z. b, J( {$ Qthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
! I2 k" V1 A$ Cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 i8 J2 u2 X0 v6 l5 i# w" I
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 Z+ Q8 K( V4 |" a5 bzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"' _" o: {+ @! H) i3 R4 I3 O1 V
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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- t ]" ?/ I6 j/ m+ ?" P. t11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! A* o3 Q$ t8 Q! U9 d6 g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; b# n. h$ P9 n1 m, s |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is. y$ w7 n! Z' Y4 m3 o g
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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