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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 {) e5 F+ p F* k6 H
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9 k& q: f; M( S' n- V 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and, X4 j A+ Y' [3 G1 \; ]" K2 g
hospital.+ ~+ @2 V8 f* c3 B
! h- B& ~$ [2 N( A 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ R' ^' Z/ O5 Q# r" ~) W
capital of Canada .
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( r4 S' a" y3 d8 F; @- c; g- Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 o1 m# s' X! r7 n5 C n: X ]
6 P. J( f% A8 d) o 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: w& w( ~1 v4 J/ B* c+ kcapital of Canada .8 d0 o+ Q( O9 A. n9 m. a8 ?0 i
( D/ h" ?6 }5 F- } F# M( i 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: r, l- @# C2 H0 f2 C/ ~9 W
$8.00/hour.$ `- F! x- @/ `) v b/ r/ E. u
$ L, R) T' T% Y' m& j0 Q7 b) M* @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; ~+ t& N, k" i- [. z
% z* ]1 o5 v8 D: R; Q* W$ x! a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* Q8 F! Q; i+ T( i5 q! I, J0 {) w
on a 15 year holiday ?8 ~8 ]4 B* z7 Y! L$ [, G% @
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 C7 Z' C8 X$ S4 `4 bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 v- Y n9 i, G' w5 p; }" |% @% J10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" w% m4 b. H$ }2 {$ A }here sick.. r0 o3 Y1 s. L8 P4 `% @8 p9 l) z
# }. P7 O+ \) Z9 m3 t( v) Y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( X: \1 e8 K/ d$ P
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" D' d+ @' @* l. n THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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3 V N+ c) ]8 y4 N9 ~( i8 o% T1 ^) O! \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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# c8 @6 X' _9 ] t* [4 s0 V9 I2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( z9 s ^& i4 v9 W. N9 Zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its |# l- W0 `% d ~% J3 K! s) f. p9 O: M
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* Q: v: h: p2 }! n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 b( I' A+ C) \' T0 v; g8 _. ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! y+ J. y" k! ^. H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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J3 a: E9 }2 ~4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ o# C6 D9 o) d; p
cussed out, and possibly shot.. `; J4 x& }% V* n8 {* X) d
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; i2 ^ J% z/ o& y
can get you shot.: x( Y2 ]6 {2 F
: @5 V" O- N3 M0 i( a) o% c6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 y: p6 U+ h, g" d/ v
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# `8 k! s2 b( Z: Z; j3 |7 \day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% R( j: v6 ?& X& h7 smore construction starts everyday.
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V, B/ q+ w5 c9 |5 w* V7 c7 X% P8 e9 E 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 ?7 Y: R' Y1 F# H, q1 a
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# \( i1 k/ g7 ?/ m* W
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., e! V, @9 ?9 q% f! ?$ e
/ B. V* u/ J7 m) \0 g5 n! m2 ]8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
]$ \$ h( q8 r' r) u, qthe same road.
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/ a, x, @) I$ Z" T" i/ Q9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; m/ B5 m% H' N9 ^. F
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! \8 B( n/ v1 @1 q# ~9 Z) M
activated."+ A; [5 H; \$ i9 @5 S3 `& S+ U
" u) \- W, t' P10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' ^' }5 T" B. j8 U# o7 pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": o) H6 H1 R( C9 I7 }1 `
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# D1 v+ {# _2 O9 q
& w6 |) J/ B6 y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 Q# q b. p$ u8 S
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 l& r# q7 a$ T% Vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( i2 _# F& h/ n4 d& t
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
