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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- J! m* o) N2 H, N C% p K
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1. Bring your own house.- `! E3 n/ M# r
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 n7 x0 G1 r6 \ acapital of Canada ., [- ]1 [! o7 | `
# B% w# f7 d. p" i 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 @- l% V6 @" V4 g
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. n; \6 \0 a) U$ F6 F
capital of Canada .4 U/ w9 B/ _4 |/ f* }
9 L: W3 Q) M& t2 I/ o4 X1 i) D 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) S0 T- ]! v) k$ M9 ?$8.00/hour.# K" _! w5 v# r( j
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money+ W5 l; z2 V# o3 c u3 R
on a 15 year holiday ?! Y. m: Q! N' q/ j
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 o- m' |4 P2 [: dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)) @* p4 O4 U/ r( T! M: Q, o3 ^8 }
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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# a9 F. n, ?( Y# K: x11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 k- E& e; S9 `" m0 e! V& Syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 ^& }1 {9 x: q* e5 ~& g; H
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour- M0 x8 {* j* T) p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., g: @, x- B" x" P% h* O! D2 v
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 k7 G0 {! b- d9 b& e; ~+ cown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* Y2 V7 b- h Q% xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) u# K9 q; ^( f" a( c/ ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 T) M, q: u) B& Y) \& _5 ^3 }
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' f6 P5 h ]! c$ {( V" ycussed out, and possibly shot.! M0 L, B5 `- s( y. m
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 V8 Y/ n- P7 J5 i6 ?can get you shot." U( o5 S% j4 q0 p
& f& s0 Q1 J3 Y u+ Y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 s5 r1 |) \ r% u9 [7 U" r
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 z( i+ q- `" C! S; Tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
0 N6 [- s) G# r4 bmore construction starts everyday.9 X6 ?- U3 U1 ]3 e, ~8 l
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! C, S) X6 a3 X3 odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% T G/ y, \8 u6 n- W5 ]6 _squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
3 X1 r' m) e9 F( m6 tthe same road.
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8 y7 ?- s8 c, o$ I: A7 {9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
! w0 ]) ?. m+ f$ Z( [- y, f7 Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: I+ Q: [& a* g% B5 p
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 W4 W# K+ K' o. u2 taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 T: n" M+ ~# v. L) \# c11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: p) ~4 A- Y9 d# c4 o" d. Xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 `4 r+ |' I+ f- |, E$ F* mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is1 J$ h% m( [# H& u6 ?2 t$ e# K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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