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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA& ]( A2 K* ~1 H
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7 _. {) G% x/ k, L1 I% W9 [ 1. Bring your own house.
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- F# n& ?. d) j/ P0 g9 g 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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) E+ z) {5 _. x, _ S 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 O1 }, ]1 |/ f; P9 W. }' Xcapital of Canada .9 v+ E& |. C4 k% P
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." {0 W7 e) s3 o2 q" E, _
) q1 K5 F8 U1 F2 i4 S3 a5 v4 u 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
$ W Q. G+ Z% X N4 t, Ycapital of Canada ./ `0 Q B# D9 j1 J: t4 k7 G
8 G0 I; s+ `7 n6 Z. E3 ^ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 U7 a1 L1 }: z4 k" d/ n$ [/ L$8.00/hour.
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5 s5 q% d. y: A! u 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 b7 k! A7 A* U& G+ M# z/ q
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: ~2 n: v4 A. I. @6 N7 hon a 15 year holiday ?
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+ C9 u# i$ r6 E c/ M* a 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ M' s/ L+ B( _) U% Kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 X6 D+ R# J$ F# h1 I+ I
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, c- M0 p4 R+ F5 Bhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 N3 R, ?: s, G6 F4 |
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.' ?: E8 _, y6 D/ d! {4 H
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1 i o# _9 W% L5 X" a' i THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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, R0 Q- m/ ?2 P( R" K2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" b% _6 p- ?( F- K- K' t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its$ d) V! B; ?8 K- X
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ F% A* {& Q& B1 R8 bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( Q% h! E5 Z2 Z$ c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( `) F! @! y7 n, ~5 iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ z( O. g5 z3 ?' U ]7 ]4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 n9 c# O2 j+ t% ^4 e4 Z
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# G! P6 C5 o4 ]. W1 b
can get you shot.6 W; V' ^& s& f6 j$ V3 X
9 C- C# g' v! {6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 x! u7 D: B/ o5 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 X/ H# J1 {( l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, s. ]5 D; }0 t1 _6 Vmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 }+ q/ y% H2 Z+ @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 o2 s# b. ~' N
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 P! w& [ D$ ~
1 w, f+ d# y9 h& T( o' \, M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
8 J# {& A# q3 X7 x9 q7 v e( jthe same road.5 g8 L! F/ {8 K
. z/ H4 q' Z0 n6 Q; e( `% X9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) }! c8 F1 C. l4 N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
6 v6 ?& k3 J/ l4 y) Aactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
- {% i+ V, ^4 ^ u) w1 H/ a7 ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 W- P! r1 A% Q9 r }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.% U! Z) P3 Z% S; M% N
3 X; z" K9 h/ U5 J& v& \8 v6 ` f8 v11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, q9 A9 X# E2 H0 C- h/ X
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ ]( `6 A# w! {: l, h9 }) cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. R& H3 R) s4 v, \virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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