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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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' U% x3 J9 I2 B0 u) x 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( D' U. c0 W, r. x; B% H
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( z6 k* ]' @* E% ocapital of Canada .
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4 A; p8 l5 N# p) G/ L. X0 H3 [4 { 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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2 L. y7 x/ F, c6 ~$ p 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! S: a' C: L0 [9 H3 O! \7 Q
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 z& P" P" n8 Y/ O' Y
$8.00/hour.6 a- J+ {/ f% h1 h+ T; X
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ n! k" i, s/ j1 ^! O/ }
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money+ [# S( b% }2 v
on a 15 year holiday ?
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: u" j6 w1 H8 c. G 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas% T( C0 y1 N$ n H) y# W/ ^/ b
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 E0 q+ N8 |7 T6 b5 {( {& Y3 ~
here sick.+ t0 ?5 r1 M! Z D
" J" [8 Y Q9 X/ }" Y11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 i* v, Y! w/ Y& W4 yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; H6 B; ]& b" _2 U6 f* p
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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' L% ?- p. y. j- _; F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' h/ ~. b) d9 c9 x2 F" }5 V0 |- N- a
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ V" A( A' C5 B0 p, }% F3 g
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ P k& z- ?; @% pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& m1 I2 g3 n9 C+ P3 [
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" z O. g3 o* m3 u3 H. v5 C3 X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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6 R& ?! z- q% m* t2 ]4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: Y/ D$ O# } m! ~
cussed out, and possibly shot./ O( ~; }; Z! G# l% H
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 z1 n8 ~: Q2 C# x0 ]0 i
can get you shot.( {& C7 ?! E: t2 ?+ C7 z
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! @; G+ h% c3 ]* B0 {) Gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: F- H0 l' Q1 z. `& V5 q- b, O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 y. ^+ J1 M1 {9 w8 k0 Vmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- t9 e" R* b+ ]$ ^% L. D
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 a. Y; p- R9 X1 _2 Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.! U% `' {2 m- r1 k9 B* C+ Z
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all9 y5 f \# ?! Y. b- E' g
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, m0 v4 D' J3 V' \shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 P/ x* {& F5 O/ t. ?zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ C N! r3 h4 h$ Jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 L8 R) g$ l: z) @3 N; }3 d% s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* y- y* a# q; z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and5 {4 o4 x5 T- H2 J( D9 n# P
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is } ]( V2 f; x, W' r, A
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
