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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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& V6 Q0 C2 m4 [. X* M0 Z: w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 `# @) i1 g' ]% r$ H+ _) `+ Z
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 p) b$ p3 ]! E% ecapital of Canada .% t# ?6 t) i$ N7 Z- r* y2 y0 G
$ L! ~6 I( h, M5 ]" B; s6 Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ ]6 z5 [8 x: g9 v" u% h# b2 U ?capital of Canada ., q) G3 z- ]) c& }" Q7 n% G/ _1 f
* v7 ^, v! ?5 O5 M e5 `6 s( ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 N' q2 T B" v9 P# N m% O& G$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 t" _: _7 R ^% J/ [
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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# U1 `$ T c& Z X 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( x1 z" t0 z- I% T+ _9 Vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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g% O- k# [. c- |2 C10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 b) w: K5 p+ Q* C+ S) t' i: f
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' \" e s6 _4 G6 F0 tyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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! n6 ?0 e% `6 E+ k: \ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; c* V" G, U4 s5 Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 s6 j# y, x% n' _muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) q; K* d- `1 l% K8 V
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, p1 Z3 C; U( Z+ C4 E
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ I0 E4 J% l6 p. Y S
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# i' e: W, C, T& K$ ?4 T! Wcussed out, and possibly shot./ v( c# C1 B/ m! H8 T
! v& j0 ^8 @; {+ [% P* [( ~5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that* j& M& }/ k) V* P7 G
can get you shot.2 R# w. f, K$ Q% ?
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 y9 C4 T! S! {
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ a( ? V" {, v) Z& H
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 I8 n0 j% G$ {7 P; u g* f
more construction starts everyday.
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f& }, |3 p& \! B2 x- J6 A) v5 V5 ~ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,$ u3 X8 r' g- v* T, P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: _) u' ]# ~7 g
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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# X5 ]7 ~- h" V' a8 z- V8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% J0 f, \" \0 ]2 Qthe same road.
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) k/ T2 I! v" \+ [9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* F4 E/ j8 s" C& N/ t5 f9 q8 F
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally6 K; n( l; _: b0 s
activated."& T5 o6 d5 ^ e1 X
! C w* k0 z1 i6 z10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ @8 y n% Q: H4 Nzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# n; J# D! X% w Z E, w1 A- x. `
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 S3 E3 Q' W+ c3 Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' W7 p1 I: I7 U& p) `; fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# Q9 j: Y! f7 G
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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