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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: k) c. A- M; S! _
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7 p. ~; _$ w$ ~) w: a; u 1. Bring your own house.
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4 G" I9 W6 L' \: M5 D! U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 s N& j7 F b4 {
hospital.
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9 C% ?8 I# m8 V: q" ]! c 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& v* O8 D, t/ s5 Z3 [: C. p
capital of Canada .* }; O2 @) a1 U
7 @& h, B* O2 `* G7 T6 F) B 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) ^$ X1 e1 H9 d; i& x' B7 N( W
capital of Canada .% A8 R0 E$ R9 E8 j; }
$ H9 Q1 E2 X: [& _ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# H0 E6 ~$ W; o6 [
$8.00/hour.3 H' `# r# [9 i, L, H/ m
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
! I3 M8 F s: P0 don a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 o5 R, f3 n" N9 \9 F6 i% G3 Q, `+ eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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: }8 D+ i9 U# X10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 o* M5 v4 R5 R& Y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.* S( f1 W9 u4 o& m( Z' P
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".* D9 @2 S" e" O5 K, E
* @& y2 O* o, A) B! H2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 u% L9 Z2 d, v9 ]
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* g: d5 E, j9 `7 \7 \8 s: q Z! B
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ v% e0 X* n$ {% v9 c
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. e1 {0 Z& S2 E3 {# e" e/ T' z" Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ C! C0 p" B+ H- |6 s
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: L, X) d$ Q* o! S1 A# I; cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; b( l8 z! r4 J u% M$ }4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ u/ |' E H; u' r8 {' A; e* E0 a
cussed out, and possibly shot.2 N6 k$ L5 h3 J! H- T/ ~/ f3 L2 z
' U o! `* S3 s6 i% X5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! H- D+ J1 p( M" tcan get you shot.! r) O% { X' A' \# p
! J% G, r9 t9 S9 e, H4 W e6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
: [; I1 J; a/ v4 v p+ cbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 ~7 }, J# n# o$ f/ Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# A$ K* J: A2 G5 W0 J
more construction starts everyday.
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; k- V9 f; b/ ~; C 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 ?" G( Y$ T( ^8 N1 i. p- g& O
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% G. I7 Z, O% P4 psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all P( S, v2 [$ i
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) C0 E" ~7 _' A! E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! L2 l7 o. u9 w$ g& g0 B: ^
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km T9 S4 q' p/ A) \2 {
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ g( {( u! ~/ |' ]+ d! Q, P
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* `+ S0 ]; \# F
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* N/ b8 u7 F1 \7 w! `. B& j, c
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" Q9 t3 B9 y: X5 y5 y* E( B
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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