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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 M% }( n8 t6 \' A& E( \
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1. Bring your own house.' w3 G/ ^6 F9 a
. R; k+ n6 a/ l5 W3 J 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
1 o6 |; Q2 j" k1 i0 w8 z- ^hospital.
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! \( L3 e4 _0 u4 L: L( U 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 n. r. h! r# q) Dcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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q$ A' ?. B& J( F% D 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. D* A2 v* N: \capital of Canada .5 T7 _, v5 n% d. P6 v- {
, G' N' |6 r ]5 k+ E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. V4 |# P0 P1 N2 P5 K7 ~/ n8 p$ _. W$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour., O. b! m9 v2 u7 A: a# p
7 Y' I" H$ \5 J4 k1 m0 V- p 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( X* W# C! n) |; ~' Ton a 15 year holiday ?
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9 t9 `6 l* Q( t* k/ i$ p2 m+ A: ? 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 g+ F; u3 p. L% x6 m! ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% a+ N9 `- }4 P5 l6 }8 a/ i
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- u9 N+ u: O0 N3 ]5 X& G2 Uhere sick.; d0 N4 [/ P" e' i* V
0 o' t. C b8 @8 r" s11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# ?, t: X" |2 V. G. V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 C% k7 X( F) ~/ Z
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9 M- i$ P% a: @ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- i% ]* U" n! c
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" ?6 N- Q' z2 e6 ^* H cis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& H9 U3 S, S& o& B
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 k* B {6 c, Q. sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- r2 I8 a0 {& u5 Z3 L
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- ?' e0 p& n9 i0 l
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell b) E4 @) i/ k& D
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. T5 C2 R1 G0 ^
! d3 F; T4 x* v4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 v3 S9 X2 [: F0 v+ \
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' r$ B( l) R& q. ucan get you shot.
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) _' ^4 L" Y+ F5 t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. m/ u1 F7 Y' wbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& @ P$ U( g iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 B/ J: I* N5 P4 R" |more construction starts everyday.. `7 {3 B) j! c
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* m/ ~: G0 ?2 U' m6 P3 v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ A4 l. w1 _: G3 L2 l) Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
3 C0 E3 b4 \: n6 _ y5 f9 |the same road.2 X1 t7 \; O8 G9 ] a# r
+ ^ j# e, w' v9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 H" l. C, n. O9 nshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ g- C$ i* Y9 h
activated."
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9 \* J( V( ^& ?1 \$ k" R- L% T# o; U10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" x* D1 F V0 S+ y0 F Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"! l9 t. k; W" ^
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) ]0 s- s& z& c, K+ n
% m3 r$ ?' d' B. {11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, ~0 ^5 }( U/ F; h" c; C2 _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! I, B# W9 `" J n0 P
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 |6 F8 @; R- P2 k( I# }9 }virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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