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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.9 w% M4 g. H( y1 N0 G
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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1 u: u$ a% j0 Z( n 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 j3 m' }) G# D' P4 b2 u% l
capital of Canada .' o/ [: k _6 W: l! A
2 R6 O' N. [# Z: z; z6 C$ X. O 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 l( K' U3 `5 R9 N
capital of Canada .
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# C0 ]# b1 G; h( r 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is) Q% P, \; ]% q. V' S2 a3 _* s9 _
$8.00/hour.
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! U' Q' F% M# h% g; W! c 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( k4 {7 t" l0 l6 p6 fon a 15 year holiday ?
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i0 j& N7 c6 x* v6 ~ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 Q9 Y% T& ?( ]( L3 Z$ y1 {
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 s5 r8 w: ^; c' f; ]+ ~' w8 L& H |10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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{) x* O9 r' W! {6 t$ e* N. @# k11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- ^7 I( a, |8 z8 S. W3 D$ q0 gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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, F, R, a: A8 o8 t: m THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( B: u9 O: `/ [) K, D/ V: \
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". Z, s. c! Y+ t1 T& |
$ o0 ?' W ]5 w! s6 g2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 F2 v% |8 B- X/ |* F# ^" D
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* k& l. D7 N% Z+ u2 A
+ J3 T, d+ k* J- M, c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, `% X2 |/ r. |5 @8 e- m) W1 p: T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest" L- G) R" H' v" v2 V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& X! f# J( Z+ O& o, ^3 ~5 l$ o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- D/ v9 `& b7 R% bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* }0 m# C9 ?* J/ u* d7 g0 o; u
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that! T* X' y* U& L$ P: ~& y+ H
can get you shot., V q7 T6 w& Q, H; J1 i
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: W; R. I4 |: Z+ A; W! W* }+ A# y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ u+ K" U# n% y2 qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 ~4 |. O5 Y9 {5 e) U3 a1 q7 Z7 w* cmore construction starts everyday.
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+ m9 m; F& p }; T3 k* T/ I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: }/ M' P" \" a% edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, y6 H ? c4 O5 S9 T& v) A) B& R
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- o( K, S% v9 z r. J$ L" `
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 y6 e6 Y9 K5 K
the same road.
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; g1 g* _' @2 D _9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."' {+ e& [ \) l5 B+ |
6 m# I2 V; g% E10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 p9 _! F& ?! p/ E5 ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
7 w& {- p5 K. w+ v8 s5 b- }! G. jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( o& x$ G' A& e1 u
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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