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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA c0 U2 ~1 K) |2 q0 Z J/ x
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n1 Q! {7 K6 _3 P/ e+ X, b1 @ 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
! ?4 `* j2 K P i" v) N8 \; ghospital.
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. H; H+ `* T( C! u Y 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 A8 v) J$ c3 L1 S* y
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% g- x: ]( B0 _5 F
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ c0 ~9 W) Y3 t( B
capital of Canada .6 V" t1 q9 Z" n7 S; J2 J
) {" t( o1 s! p& W: W4 t 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 a" X# w& R3 X; {$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 j4 T: s+ o7 K [* D1 B
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& H. |# D9 i) U! s
on a 15 year holiday ?6 i( c* X. ^# D. p
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- F5 U/ l3 l0 m. C' Lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 c$ R' z' o, x4 q3 N3 M; M
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: p# I9 q4 D5 e6 e/ w3 `
here sick.
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5 {7 I( A1 @: G4 I& n11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 m. a/ C4 n* `# E; h* H
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 F9 O) A, l. W' W) i8 j$ ]. e: h
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0 p0 ^" C0 r! ~- @; i5 l1 ]$ e8 T THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- ? Y$ B1 f' w8 j
$ U* Y3 ?! ^( n$ V. r+ Q3 f& `/ B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".: C# a6 {! g6 s1 E8 s
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 d4 [9 u. g/ W- g, U% T. ^9 }is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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5 l% A5 u2 U5 w3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 y N- ?9 ~# Z1 t
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ }0 q+ M6 R. A+ [- ^
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( z. N- c* s' |% C4 }9 G3 N) ~2 S
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 Q$ L+ c3 ]9 S4 c" Q8 u2 m( Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., [. z$ {2 o0 I1 U, C9 K
# _ R/ n/ T- V" K6 A! q9 V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% g- ~( Z" w1 a9 B
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 H- R% z6 U5 p+ R5 Q r9 f/ a
can get you shot.
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% D4 U7 l" G% e; C- v6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour4 Z! `: _; P; v& ~8 q+ Y" a3 y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
2 G1 z# U8 p4 {* Z5 f. Xday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& P& |$ Y1 X% Q6 s( `4 p0 s
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 n: p5 {- m' u: g$ K( o! M
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) a( H! D: C2 ~2 o1 C0 C1 asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 z) R8 ~. r" s3 [5 Y
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
( g/ h& I, Y# ~7 I5 Wthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# I, Q# u" z, t8 Cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
. I6 J3 i! ?- hactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km# q6 A* l0 L( e7 E2 l6 l
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" E" I9 B8 n4 v# x$ f u) r
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 F* F/ _3 L% @" v T% {
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 _. L. m: L D* j6 O
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and1 q& t' i1 K' E
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" r! z; I4 w* n" o' \( J! E5 P& b
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
