埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 3027|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ G/ S% k0 o; m  J4 ]; y" G' A

5 w9 K' h/ u0 A3 l3 N9 P1 l1 r; K% N/ O0 `8 f, o3 {; z; Q# E: M

0 R8 [. M) B% F: s% q& \) M 1. Bring your own house.
, B: \+ F$ c) d, Y- ]3 m4 b- i. Z% \5 v0 x6 l3 ~4 ]
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
' o; `6 k" e& t6 G  b3 T% xhospital.
- K4 u' c, V8 P+ \' i( {, t% r# o% ~3 g1 F) B7 O8 x3 i
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: X) D) x6 h& T% X2 |+ g- ccapital of Canada .( _) {+ {0 U& a0 `- y8 G* F8 D

+ ~. n. g$ ?& c0 N- u 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 j+ S+ V! v9 Z# ^4 [2 y# o
7 N  q, l6 n8 s+ v( T, d$ S
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- z9 @; \' f" }0 w6 `4 t9 X
capital of Canada .- g. s2 y6 o+ z3 ]6 Q6 O& @

: c. M3 I4 K- e. Y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 `- u# p. c' Q, D1 j) t1 I$8.00/hour.' m9 w7 b4 y7 m0 {5 t
5 c, l/ \9 o: J: v' l# A: [
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; A- E6 {3 W8 f* g' l; a3 {

  v+ C# n8 T9 a: ^- K" w 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money  K0 ?9 k5 T$ D- O' E: ~9 ?3 l
on a 15 year holiday ?+ U/ a/ A) K& p6 @
; W7 W" _6 O. Y3 c
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- T5 M$ P/ j2 f% d4 L$ B, _
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 W* A) v6 O! |- }+ l

; f' [. l9 @4 p, T10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* t  q3 z0 s0 o( w3 c/ F% @
here sick." s# _  ~7 a2 g. N, t: x- }7 K

$ o& k% r3 S6 u# q2 L: A8 t- M11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' ]- b! e( e* Pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 k, c  V4 R. D. z8 f
+ M# w" A. U1 J9 w& x- F5 b: i
" k/ |; G/ [" f3 g
% ~" m% y2 E: b% O6 J  b) a
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
$ f, `( ^2 s+ n0 f" W" n/ ]3 `% Z" x
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
7 F, i, k4 \, H7 n0 b
8 m8 ^2 v4 F8 W# J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 ~7 |; W3 \5 Wis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* \4 P0 G9 v  T9 {# l: \

+ W7 l6 `  d8 _7 i3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- @4 t+ A3 u3 n4 F7 `5 r: Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* @6 ]! _& p( i, e/ n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
  v, ]2 ~0 L2 ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ y. b/ F) c, K) m( ]" i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
, j1 c$ F+ T- U3 x2 h( R! R
/ R  k$ z2 `1 q+ ]7 a4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ @) Q  Q: R5 }6 {cussed out, and possibly shot.
( h, T5 D4 }' K2 D7 F$ d; S" R* ]
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 Z; v/ ?) H3 b4 m, c9 Q. S7 d8 rcan get you shot.: ?7 s& V+ I% G

, v2 |% C( |" v0 @8 {6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: u2 U' {% e2 D2 w8 M4 W. V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
2 Z$ J, M; C6 s1 u$ Vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 Y  n" K3 h" ]# xmore construction starts everyday.
1 q# e/ y; \) t( g2 K  x$ B
8 K$ r) u; t: y, ?4 S  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 t3 p: G* E; P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' Q% Q. z$ ^7 i+ p- Wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
) d/ C0 i- O. _, A
) h% g3 P: M. N( X8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all* T1 T' N0 K* V% j  c. v3 Z' H
the same road.
2 x5 f5 N" T  P$ V! ~% J
2 _( H9 J0 I$ h8 N* e  n) i$ G9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 F* z) K* O4 Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
. s5 W6 k& n  [! J" k- lactivated."
; \7 I( @4 Y, x, m
8 j; T9 ^! X3 P0 \2 `3 r& [10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 X1 G$ t6 r' r2 w' `7 T0 z( t, Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
" D5 S. w5 B# A% K; n5 |7 @6 [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
+ S5 ~3 w/ C7 W/ ]3 j/ `1 M- l8 f6 a! q; H4 Q- o' E7 H5 E( f. U
11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' n$ G$ @( n) h; ~& _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 `' o+ v7 Q. M5 n
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% n& X$ v: d: l& ^8 D! J/ Yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

6 A) X0 \6 `3 q+ H有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。$ E! ^% `1 K% Z" c$ ^' s
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
7 Z4 v) X* v3 B( B8 f) d5 {2 |1 i1 j有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : . b* s# p* V6 C2 [( U# n

3 K: j# v8 G+ J5 R( m此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 * m" c' G7 v) E1 k% ]+ w2 g

+ q! S  b$ A# }: j8 c! E! j; R: j
$ c! x( ]7 X3 H) f  m; \
$ D8 k& m1 y  U( X6 M# V! ~: y6 j[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ; P- C' w3 q. \
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. l) S: N2 n  o6 U3 B! B) F满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' f; \( @0 B, p! A$ `6 p
...

. ?; I# n! {9 c( [, c  o0 Y
5 M6 d3 g$ d. G! w% A% C 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 ) t% g$ U% _) `' u4 K8 W6 H! F

- a" n3 {9 I" e. j6 m9 ^ ' T. n/ S* F. a' B2 J" c
说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

1 u! V0 u+ ]1 u. u% ]- V4 }: ^
1 K9 ~# h6 Z' W; s0 E" w5 ?这么刺痛你了吗?
$ B# }! |6 k& S' g( y
7 Z; J, L' N7 E6 e9 I1 j' j4 w% ]我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 6 R: I" z" D+ i8 ^
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。. ?  W. ]- J. o; n$ `
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。  L$ n: W* G! d8 O
...
% s1 k4 Y0 }, M$ u/ M
你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
$ ^8 j5 L7 Y7 r; R  u5 a* i" S; S3 A: m: k, z* o2 s. `
再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.4 @: R/ C- o  Y' k& v2 K3 l9 Y
4 m( J+ P  E7 v; o( `6 ~- x
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-4-14 23:08 , Processed in 0.230615 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表