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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( _. h5 v1 O  \  U2 y9 D5 }4 }

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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 W3 N. ^! W5 x8 j9 i" t) Y- Ghospital.. ]2 }. o* y  B' t' [8 p

1 k7 E* A' n8 B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! a; Q* d9 n& ?2 P7 a% \
capital of Canada .. E9 A$ `+ i# _! v- n

4 w; R/ j/ M3 v1 q' s6 A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ B+ a/ `5 P! i+ ?. @ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 c& X  r( q. b2 pcapital of Canada .
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. v7 n: d4 j  N7 W* S( C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) {% n- R, c7 r0 M/ P$8.00/hour., u% w* P, @6 u1 @. f% [1 m

: `- s4 v0 ^6 D/ |% w* I 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 a$ x- o* ~; |1 t+ T( J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 H6 r6 _3 t9 [7 H
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 Q6 E1 @  G4 S
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! ~4 b/ a2 @) I  O

. j7 J  Y- Q2 ]# t4 T# g% ]: R% A10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( Y0 x: h4 i7 c& ]& P6 d6 d  ihere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 s, I) @8 a0 y- cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 ^) [4 ~1 p9 U5 _+ V( {

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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5 k* u# n7 U: y: i! l: b) q; g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 j5 ^, r( H! g+ S
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( V% s2 z6 l& z% N7 C6 b1 z
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 C; K9 p0 Z2 t7 R  P0 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 U# ?7 ?2 K/ k7 b9 u3 a3 U, d) J! B3 gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 q9 k0 x0 J" o, v. ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, o( t  }  [, X  i$ _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 P  b$ }. [" s, s$ p' {, }
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) m% E3 t( h# B% e4 s& J
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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( ]% n6 L. x' c1 _# Z7 v5 O5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' Z! x7 P- ]4 J) G: d  _1 ^
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
  E( @& k1 |5 I4 x) e) R( x, ?6 Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 g/ E) {7 n4 R' v( P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% d6 S; d4 I2 r/ X% D2 [more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,, x( p% e, ^& f% i  o
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 Z2 x* \& {* W% n- E
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: Q* Y; G; V2 @9 D8 O7 y
the same road.
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% _2 a9 Q% P; t9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) q7 }" O3 I, L/ U$ D
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 ^  j2 G- p. ?/ G- A9 Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% Y- z8 ^7 `- E1 k
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) k! v0 ~5 m8 C9 Y% F6 q9 {# Lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

0 F+ `' K6 P" T; a2 ]& h有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' P, J  @$ @' D3 u6 X' n满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
+ K  B$ ?* F, j3 r% G/ G有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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4 E3 [/ |! D. B1 ]此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ; \- g/ \0 [, ~0 y: y/ s" F

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- g% ]1 k/ I; n9 o3 T0 G[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) U& X2 s" f* g. O' o朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。+ n( e3 h  X/ Y7 D1 F
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' C6 h) L9 P6 q2 s: Q  r9 g2 M3 {; y" R
...
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- N" U) ~# o- Q9 l, n& ?* k% h3 k 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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1 N1 W& ?  K$ C9 F, d 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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* c9 W. P. g6 _, g6 `这么刺痛你了吗?
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  F; E2 Z* E6 ^! l. Z4 h我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
( D2 o+ p' q  v! f& U" \2 u朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。9 s, ]* i2 C# g% U/ l- A
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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5 {' U( d3 o; h3 {  P6 P/ p2 c1 ?5 l你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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$ x# l' ^, g! S- a  b% K8 S再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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