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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.+ U$ ]2 ^' _8 q2 `
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" z) u  f% m& H2 u0 @8 e, {! y7 x
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder: I5 o& L1 M- Z# U9 V0 A+ y
capital of Canada .
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7 n/ Y% R" x% P3 l/ {( B/ y2 v 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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) \2 @" u! W4 S1 N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: ?. `8 n  I& f2 H* p- ycapital of Canada .
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6 k+ |; n3 d$ ^ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 y) M% d  B9 w$8.00/hour.
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- ?* n+ f, E1 A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* o/ Q( S5 J( n' l3 hon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 X. f5 q0 y5 Wprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" S3 _: p/ [* U: i; z# f1 K0 y

7 h2 g4 |" `5 L9 C8 ~+ w% K10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' O2 |- Y: y$ Z/ \* A3 p" l5 S
here sick.+ U- i, h: {$ ^, F" _$ [6 S- C

* Q6 e: g  _* K8 T11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# m) L6 i$ K, |  `/ g2 M$ z* z9 @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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  a. S+ R! k% T  y/ L7 K2 S3 Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 `" m4 `* b2 i, B  S2 q2 z
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." v8 C+ L. D% n

- `# _7 X7 q. \) E/ Y, O; D; O- |2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ y! B) h5 j, q. I' {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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8 j1 E# g. I  e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 m5 s  I' T1 i# D9 vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* G0 K+ y9 b& a7 B" a# v
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" D4 E4 x1 F' [7 D3 [% G* b( M
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" b* C' N- P! Bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 G, }$ `$ v' H5 ^4 H2 Q  J
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! \3 E5 o; F3 [' N
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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% X! e  q7 j3 J0 w: A5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- A! f0 P% W1 }* |2 D
can get you shot.7 d1 R$ b5 z$ R% _: U! L8 [
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
* e0 Q* ]# `, _$ s7 Ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
  n. D0 w. S. Y$ ~  xday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 ?. y- Z# E, I4 Kmore construction starts everyday.; V- u8 F  H' v/ [) l& q  I* U& `5 ~

# Q* X. a1 L9 O* v6 m9 J  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
  C' f" i1 D& m4 o5 edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 g0 y! p5 a1 u9 m7 r, J
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. X9 ~6 p& ]; x# D% }the same road.# g! N2 F) y) L7 O( N- T3 ?
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 T# I- M/ A& L* k! a3 C( @. c
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
3 E, c( p3 Z" S5 b# mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% Z! c# f$ @. c5 S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" r/ f7 S7 Y' |9 w11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, v/ K( W* H; W  V4 _, l" [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ C6 d$ k) u9 U7 W% E7 }blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 ^# |2 \& ?2 K+ b0 |virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

( q2 K5 D' M4 |6 ^& l- p6 o$ D有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
! N$ B, I* d  h# f满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
  |! f4 Q* s; H/ R# J. v有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : # T  E4 \4 W: z4 g9 i" U8 R

1 A. ]  A) D- ]% y此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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' p2 f8 D+ j3 O6 M; M4 M3 m+ T[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% z( ^' m  M4 m. M% z% D" K朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
3 w: n/ F( ~* b" ?满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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5 R6 t- U, w) b: C# V: }0 L 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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4 y7 U9 @! f: s! ~/ ^ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?4 f. r- k( D/ D/ F
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 & C- ~! i! H1 i' P/ z% W
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
, e1 r; S/ ]8 C" j& B9 _3 p9 o* g满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。4 w7 S# i* \. h2 [
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。* |' k3 N( e0 r# M5 H, {
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.# N$ K. G6 g/ x, s" |  p$ D9 f
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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