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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. [, _6 u. ^1 Y+ B' ~1 d; |5 {. [
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1. Bring your own house. ?+ P( z5 r. v5 [5 k, a- |/ }7 ~
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" x! {# Y+ V5 W5 D* ^ k
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 b" n# e; S& [' G# D: K0 U
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 u* `9 L- A& J% F; n$ N+ \capital of Canada .; I" j o: v5 W+ C* m
, J! \7 ]6 Y+ k o% ?$ c& a 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# @+ G/ a$ x& F% a
$8.00/hour.& v# ^* }6 o' [" r
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 K/ B2 Q& H G1 Q8 \$ V1 d6 \, F
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money" v9 q5 i2 h0 F7 G3 g- K! a/ E
on a 15 year holiday ?% v: t j0 W# K# r; f8 j9 o( t9 e$ c
9 R% S( o) f3 q2 V, a 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- N5 i# |4 h8 K% a+ K- iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ e, B7 h9 {: b% B
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 c. E) `2 t, l' x5 ^- S# |
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" m0 Z: j' A! U' i" o. @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) R* w% T0 N3 A/ l; o# |8 E2 k
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 `2 ?1 h3 M. d0 M: S" F' T
6 Q2 ?% P) ~! f4 @1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." ]! G# ]4 G8 @6 g
, s! t# Z( ~" c2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* w( Z* H8 G& I: M9 H) }3 D/ N
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.6 y+ ^- D" ?9 e5 \) x
9 z( U, {& c1 g- U8 i8 L3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ d& f, C7 y2 s% \own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ S1 o- r: W/ h3 a% t _# z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 v: s: d( Q* s& @go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 X+ h: @8 ^0 aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." k G R: U+ Z5 t. K( u N4 l
3 O t+ g3 t! h& V R$ e4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 M; u. k' d' K: _cussed out, and possibly shot., ^ M/ X% S3 J4 g0 ~
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& |; {! j5 l% A- ]' \can get you shot." [/ G: T0 `5 ^- N, O. S
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' f! Z/ ]* {1 J: q/ m4 }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
d7 ?* @* \9 B6 G* ^# u4 ] yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ F3 p4 G; U: k3 f3 H0 h
more construction starts everyday.8 U7 c. D# d$ a3 u5 M, w; {0 |
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; |4 v4 \1 y' q* Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 E) q( m1 V! o$ B3 \0 d. c* ^: m8 ^
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# V: k6 \; L$ B# V9 _& v( D
' G4 g6 c) R0 I: r$ m8 a0 H8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ e) z' b! P" n( R8 n7 Zthe same road.$ j9 D& D: G8 @- c
. ], `# g* u8 [9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 g. j' _$ Z. {; \$ J Y& ~$ t) gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 o" F) G$ X! `
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' v6 W! K! M X0 I2 gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., p- {& W5 I* i; w$ |
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 c) `: C% K v/ P6 E# L
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 S9 m4 H7 V2 U( _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is! R0 u3 j& i7 T% q9 K
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
