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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 S {* S- V3 y4 Y
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1. Bring your own house.6 b, P( S A' n4 P J
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 f( h9 H7 k9 V* c, lcapital of Canada .
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1 ]7 B9 o4 r2 C2 J2 y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 w5 Z6 b3 B" d2 b; |
capital of Canada .
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' S' h" N/ x+ o* ] 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 t0 y7 q9 L0 }7 N# t4 f
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ I8 o( L n3 n; U. S% x; won a 15 year holiday ?
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/ P0 G! _* G3 G& X 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas4 \7 D- {2 l: e& ]' M+ d8 E$ [4 T1 s
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ x0 T/ F, n3 S$ |( Q7 O% ihere sick.! U( i7 G! j; ]3 x. B
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 A0 ^" p+ l* E) ?0 @- e9 v
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ X& M, _3 m5 [* L6 l5 P8 S THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 W1 q' Z: Q' I
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour% S- r1 V0 _: B6 E, ^, W
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% j/ R5 E7 J/ `
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ R7 `0 \% x* `+ m# I, bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* [3 Q, s8 u9 L; O0 fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 R# F" b5 q; b% ^) d' Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; o6 @8 K' f9 Q1 g4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ }; U+ ~- ~% h' s! `" N% }% W
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6 [* r7 O% f- ~: Q% e2 i/ h. C" E4 V1 g5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 {% e8 H1 G6 a; E2 I$ D4 r
can get you shot.
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# p% f# G. o* N: a4 s3 Q$ w; y; j6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' v. @" h0 d+ K! ~
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* |6 c8 f/ V: d) K0 Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! w8 @" A* {7 T# E0 [2 w# xmore construction starts everyday.* q$ h" ]- q/ I7 {
' j3 a- G( e6 ^) ~. Y }+ a1 @! x 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; D2 o$ s2 A1 g( Q1 Adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 L1 W* Y3 o6 a2 Usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 F1 @0 j! _- k z, ?- B
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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B; l4 W2 H) d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
! ~) E3 b# U: o: Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally1 o4 N8 v" ~$ y3 K$ H* t5 s
activated.": k& ?* {# k: q# g) u
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
; T4 ?( Q# e0 ~zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"; j! e" J/ D: N G5 C7 J" X
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 [8 Y, m. B8 \8 k
6 m7 ~ O9 X' e% a3 k# s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" w8 @% O$ J* o' ^: c! M6 k
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# z9 Q6 X# f: k0 F) fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
P E# ~8 r/ ^3 R4 Z1 m7 l7 lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
