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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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* S( a p: x& h2 k& \' N( u" r2 J2 F( a 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; p; y/ W" M' r4 J" b5 |% Q8 P
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ V4 ~2 U$ E: P/ P. H4 k
capital of Canada .# w# m& I/ O' e) P' P- s0 I, d
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& g4 n; ]; Z0 _9 m; }' q# Z
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. h* j" m- O H, H$ I( _! Q
capital of Canada .+ [+ V8 p2 w4 n. r- R# ^/ O6 z4 f) o; J
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) |6 T* d4 \5 J$8.00/hour.
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6 G6 p' ^/ X) p' ^ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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3 @: k8 v+ Q3 B8 D* Y* Q+ N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 g. I; k/ b$ z2 ]
on a 15 year holiday ?
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" f' o; d0 D; ?9 s$ r' t 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) X" m8 X V5 E( A- [0 J! D* Yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 g* l) s: z( z' |4 ~" Q
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 |" X7 ]) G7 u
here sick.! f G3 d3 E" z. ~1 ]
/ K7 G- c; W7 d( l. U. {11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 B1 l' O2 W. Pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# x. a# d6 Q) i+ X$ k4 u
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5 T! I; c* i- ~$ t. J THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 J2 S2 R" e2 p6 W, F" q; J* a
: s6 E( [: V& H, }6 H! @1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' J5 F" E' w2 His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 S2 P N! P. A* R
! g" d9 I! f0 e9 {3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' b0 }$ K, l4 P- X \2 U; W7 Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 _) O$ j& q5 p( Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% d' i& S" [ u& `/ ?/ }5 f
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( L+ I+ G4 y! Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: ~+ }6 O; p1 X2 \
O3 \ ^$ T+ j! i. Z& l4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ w5 y6 J- g" t( A0 z+ xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6 o) U# o3 }0 j, |; l. ~5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ u" [5 c$ P- A0 o u( M6 [
can get you shot.
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. L- \! b7 k! p6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' |6 Z5 e. O- O9 b% E/ E) x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 o: U0 o% Y- m* c) F2 \day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ x0 ~4 a5 I0 p) |& a' zmore construction starts everyday.
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* j) P: x8 j% f. y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% v, E. O v- f d- r! y3 vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- A" z% q9 O- ?. _* Z! N- n4 nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: ]( i4 T% k- \! o1 u! I1 u; ?! [5 j
the same road.
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% u# e0 G5 X5 _9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 x# e. G8 Q; d5 a1 e1 ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 i- R1 [$ v- e |
activated."6 O0 g# H# E; u1 |0 z
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, _- @" U7 k& r6 {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 c# h" H+ i8 y+ v" t' A5 h" g
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ ?# K% p8 t- p, f) y; i w
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 @' O7 n* |( d8 f M7 w- ^blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# R( q4 w# \& i, z- \virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
