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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" ]- e0 M0 ?% i2 C; n
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1. Bring your own house.% J6 P& Y0 Q5 m7 @5 q- d9 v( q: ]

& ?% P" i  q: W, x& M# P 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
. C3 P6 f% L6 n/ e( G& Jhospital.7 f9 {  ~8 G1 `3 u+ s
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 H7 y& l, ~9 O0 V" r5 Ucapital of Canada .
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  @) w. e# ]& K+ G 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 Q" ~& B& L/ p! X
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
, e2 N6 u9 e. {capital of Canada .$ a; h( ?' \2 D7 x3 `$ l6 r

- {7 x! p# z$ g3 W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* @7 k* n. F2 k# q. W: H( _
$8.00/hour.' Y, z  Y; j; |9 f
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# K: I" Q3 g( H9 H  b1 C% X# P

6 p  ?+ c- N4 C. I( c5 A 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) D& I9 B2 b/ f6 q' h* c3 Non a 15 year holiday ?/ `  F, l# Z1 p- [( C2 m! G
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas: X! ]  S$ [' O, u( O
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 s* f# r4 c0 w% a+ K. }! {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 {& l8 U9 n$ s  c) o+ ?( u# [
here sick.8 o" R- I0 `- ]$ q2 ?
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
6 E) b$ B5 O$ F3 ?' Y' B# x' Iyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; O; V( |/ _# o5 ~9 _ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 K* W; o) @" i! \. l# a- `5 ]
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 W& ^# q# c8 X
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ [% \9 ]6 B1 P) M6 J6 ], f$ j5 e9 L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; ?: s* E1 g- W, ]( N6 X

6 R1 Y* U* {% H) W3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
  V! `  r/ `$ K" B) xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 k& c* U5 A8 a4 a. |+ x
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 q& y3 W/ L4 I; o5 a' L# G* Jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 z8 p# U* N# O5 |- d( `% s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' U5 N' K. @5 _1 [

) H4 e: k6 t5 `* h  l$ r9 Z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: q8 n- [$ o( D# [cussed out, and possibly shot.
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. a9 ]( g# ^1 h7 k; i4 |5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
' y$ g" ~- q% A# q  Kcan get you shot.6 t2 q: b7 ]/ o7 Q/ k3 `- p* m. F

8 a  e2 q# g+ C6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. e, z  {5 ~9 Q  H
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 ?3 v8 _2 s* A$ `
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 ?' l4 H" O3 e; imore construction starts everyday.3 j, n  L, e; y6 y6 b9 R  N
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# v. D/ h; U2 M, ^: K9 ]8 ^& j$ g( k
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& r2 h7 s2 u  O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ t+ g2 C6 ]- ~+ T0 O1 ?
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 o& _. [1 U+ W2 v/ rthe same road.# P; i0 I1 s, u4 S+ D9 \/ m9 e2 n
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 h# |, v" s3 ~* p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
1 R3 |6 r/ z+ J1 H9 A3 s9 V$ `activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* g$ j- |: `4 s% K1 i; E, F% Dzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 k5 `7 v. f, ]0 b# f5 ?accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 w; I1 ^8 |3 D* W8 b# f2 C7 M( @" elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ V; A+ ?+ ]/ u7 a- S9 Q+ l' `
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is1 I0 @$ y# ?( n; h: ?6 _
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

$ P# h$ O" E  T3 x3 C2 _% F! C有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* M  V4 q- a# y0 Z# P
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
5 U* Z4 @, D: E7 J# q有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
& ]1 h0 d8 r2 a, x: R# W5 Y朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
! C; Y/ {# G6 ?6 a满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& W5 n' i5 S( X
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?% P" k. Q5 S0 q

* o; h  V: w4 D8 s我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 / N! z, S. }1 a$ s6 H
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
2 x2 [# `5 a/ O$ ~满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。  F+ O1 B/ t+ V$ d
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.6 G' v3 L" ~7 E) [
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理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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