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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- I! F- I3 K" K
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1. Bring your own house.
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! O6 l* E |; b" v4 } 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and9 q, U& A0 e$ ^7 r; P; `
hospital.1 V9 x) k' ~3 X8 d
|5 V% E9 W" x) v1 I) ^ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ l# J, Q. p* A
capital of Canada ." Q' W& U* X0 C7 p9 ?4 q9 w J
; J0 o, Q, C0 ?) o% | 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# W7 J: b* V! b# _6 p
; Z7 ?4 Q( Y" D+ K% z 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 t0 V' T. X7 I. }5 @+ @capital of Canada .0 O. {6 s. y2 p5 B( a1 j
8 `7 t- E* r) P, b: y1 ^! c1 V b5 { 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ X$ j* L( G; j! L" p# u C$8.00/hour.
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9 O) N* h7 ]5 t5 V n1 I. q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* |6 b3 U. }; _* i: U+ c9 R5 x, i$ [
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* R8 c9 R0 a1 \$ L1 m6 S! J. C$ Qon a 15 year holiday ?3 H7 T9 M( P% ~; Q4 `3 o8 M
2 g; S& z- \# l# R% D 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( ]) O6 @( u) m) v8 eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 ?) \1 [8 o R5 t0 k1 e10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" y0 p. o8 t8 `/ b$ k: hhere sick.6 W# }3 n$ O- u: @6 C" B+ q
1 X) q6 m; C8 V11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; ]! v( R: M6 B0 x/ @years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( T( j6 K0 x6 s
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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4 d! P1 h2 v8 \; v2 A1 r: i2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 X0 j* B- ?8 ?- ~0 jis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., [+ N6 f- N9 U* T. L, w
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( g2 ^" O) i3 p3 ^3 N: f" L
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: ]% s; h7 j) R, I6 i* l+ _" pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ b& i k. E, r- h; w9 d& C2 z0 o, cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, P" I4 K: ?5 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* R' X/ K# x- k( G) b$ p$ dcussed out, and possibly shot.
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. O7 s$ B5 {% a3 e: x1 z8 b8 ]5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 ^+ q" f9 M1 E/ Z4 jcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' A( w( X- s9 T2 w1 q5 Jbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next7 e. @1 Q0 s% s0 B4 V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
{- b/ r. ^, E# w! `more construction starts everyday.
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1 v! A: m; M+ U 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 W& R- D3 w' C$ e1 A! }
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ \9 W! L5 Y) U; I& D2 X2 h- \
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
F5 A& f4 M; a& P( ~the same road.
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: R1 e& x1 L# j6 p( k- j9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( p& I; F9 \5 ]/ u6 K6 hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" O1 s! y- f( d4 | x2 y- E, L
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 e- D0 C* x. F+ Ezone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 t; v, L; }* T7 R4 x, n
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 N0 n# K- j. c( ^11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: j2 \1 z/ I G( w$ }: @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 u2 h. Z8 S2 {4 E+ m2 Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; G( n1 v9 i1 J7 {9 y3 R" [% Cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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