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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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- W9 n+ w; F7 n5 O* o3 e' r7 v 1. Bring your own house.% A4 `2 U# c* a" b
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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/ ?" k+ I& m( V& N8 k) `8 O1 \ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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8 v' H& J. j! Y3 K- t 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: c, c6 C5 _$ b8 B7 P! N- ]capital of Canada .
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) Q" Q" M0 Q) n2 i 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 Y* d# t% X+ U( ^
$8.00/hour.& [0 I: }/ [1 e. x# I+ _; G8 }) F
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 A; H7 i: t6 Y' P0 f1 d
3 q/ Y- i& l7 T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ V) h$ p. \! c5 r) s. Yon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ _$ L% _- u% n! e8 Tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) \- C0 K2 A' f; i* S6 F
) B( d; w8 M% `0 D5 l! _0 P10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" U3 E: v+ N, \) l
here sick. J0 i% {/ T/ o
0 d+ r" Q1 D/ ?% F11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ D6 D& o# z! ~) G8 y8 S. V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." }& J9 _2 O+ w7 _9 j; F0 d, }5 r
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 |' S T7 l% g# J6 E& @2 r
. j- E- K8 k" J9 v- u5 Z: n1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( A5 d. g, m4 ~' f5 Ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 f0 x8 M& C9 B4 j( |3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 m$ b) Q* k+ X( E
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; _, x& |7 s/ _- `; D {! s: Xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) P# [* E4 p3 m) A# Q9 ]$ rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 }" k, C6 H) K! k
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 ^1 t, C2 b7 q6 |7 t6 @can get you shot.- j& Z: k% M0 }
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 l0 t! c7 i4 g; c
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; ~* J4 w) I: \+ U7 ]2 f, W. @& T7 S, V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and+ E( o! y/ u, ^4 W3 z$ E+ o5 y& p
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,( ~, c0 p: Y, G7 E
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 r* V8 x% p+ g" q$ q6 E7 c
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
2 E0 D P; p7 ]- a* s+ I# q1 fthe same road.: l6 V8 j+ O! t/ ~; R
$ F8 ]( E" g. a% Z# B! D! l9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ q8 q, X# }% @4 L+ Y
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" `- w/ ~4 B0 u& ^
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# r& K! E) \1 k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 Z$ L2 u: v( X- B+ n
" n4 K+ [' M0 T3 `11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 n3 b) y% I! Y$ [# t+ H, _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 J6 A' {( v8 F. Fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 C; k- x; R2 ^, h0 R
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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