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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house., W2 h; a$ M# U) T6 E2 t* N
( S% I* N% }5 M! B+ A 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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0 b, F' G$ d {+ Q% g) e; v- [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' C2 X& V% B* D0 ^6 ?3 q/ Q" jcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 L, f# b- @7 @6 C/ N) K6 o
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. p; L* z1 E" f1 H, Y) `$ _capital of Canada .
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- x! \1 h8 |1 [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 \ Y+ P5 M2 j7 y- q$8.00/hour.
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) p' u# ?) l' L) O6 K 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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: B6 v. o8 y& B1 f' E$ @ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) C( ] C) c3 Y: E5 `- oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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! R0 s+ q- r( Y! K* r( @ F5 i, F10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ d R4 ?6 h; K! ~' Fhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 J: ?7 x1 Y" y6 s% j' D5 pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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# V0 E% d+ n6 p6 w7 K, A THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :! p( M) A8 v8 b7 s0 ]' [0 j
* J _9 a' }" N8 }+ E6 {) w1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 x* b1 ]; E+ U6 Q S Y/ Mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 v8 f& [3 `/ t+ @& i/ V5 Z- R
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 i. g: |) V4 \7 S# p+ y+ ^3 f$ Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: r( p4 E" l- P6 @muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, U2 }, V) D+ Z# Z& v
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 r( A, @% r) L* S5 U' S( V4 lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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1 T8 I' n3 R+ |2 p& V4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 d8 q/ R. _- Q5 |cussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 b" E+ t( W: R8 v1 W$ @ W- c5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that- E4 `: Y" g$ j2 P$ @0 T) ~
can get you shot.
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: \% d- c1 P# @" |6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
# r2 L0 N* V! f! k) [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; F9 w7 w+ e2 W; h' s9 O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' R& R) e! s5 u3 o3 c, i6 a; s
more construction starts everyday.8 b9 x0 b& ]6 P$ ]* G
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,6 o7 j; S2 R+ [+ W1 Z _
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 ?2 ^: U! ]& x$ m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.9 b! ]& Q; r: e; o R! o n& G! z
0 n) v, e3 {; J5 I1 ^8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 r5 \" K( g& V' D# G6 bthe same road.
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, _1 ` Q6 Y6 L) `# x) D9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 G6 l1 i5 Q) K% v6 r
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ |. ^+ X" D+ }! Z( D
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 V1 y3 S* G8 v4 h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 F9 [; t B4 ~- x& Y2 a6 w; Y
5 T) D- Q, T" r. O11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# o9 T* P' G% T% H1 wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# X* f, u' l* _+ q& R/ R
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is3 v( h# v3 y k4 w! @
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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