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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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- S) ^3 C, N1 r+ o' t# q 1. Bring your own house.
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9 g6 l7 a# b% |4 u( W, s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" I' G% g( Z9 B. icapital of Canada .- l) N5 P' m: |/ d: j$ \
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# ^* V6 {6 H9 j2 a. ]+ v
1 N4 B& c1 |7 m* ]' P7 X 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
7 j& e9 B3 n8 i0 M3 z% l0 Q! m' g/ kcapital of Canada .+ ]0 Y* }% w5 f
0 d/ {% a) g. s7 w4 {) s( k 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 A A; x0 A. j$ N
$8.00/hour./ t6 T& u% e ^% f- M0 s
/ b6 `2 K8 ?- R/ J& ` 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* p+ o7 t# U3 f9 T+ P6 z3 Q
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' t* F3 I( r: Z |' k( m
on a 15 year holiday ?( u) @( ?# Z8 c& l1 m( w
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ K- `0 Q& {0 I+ |: O) }
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 S4 S8 _" k" }. ^8 ]: t- Q' H% b
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 w! c0 Q! T% E$ ~: m3 Gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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6 ?% |+ J! d0 E1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" s( t! |' \2 E2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
& {) }& b- m) }is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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5 a& u" k" e' C: n* e* S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 |' Y6 D/ x+ }" m* A
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& L r$ h$ u) i- H! N1 x5 H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires; v r' o1 T+ m1 q9 x% p5 z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% P% v6 s2 Y) J @" E$ ?
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 m/ o# R% z, W2 X) w
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- L( e, I+ F" L) p+ Qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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, w6 A$ |4 }7 V; [2 |" y5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# A. b6 Q9 N$ {
can get you shot.
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* S; V \/ I/ F3 J6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour n! G$ v/ b2 B c& \) u! }9 J* U
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 J; t: ~" U3 h& f- G
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, b9 r2 S, q% h' xmore construction starts everyday.! l6 ~! x2 H' {) W9 Y) F
/ D. ]3 m6 Q- U 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 ?4 E% K" a0 r# k; x- Y3 @
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 v$ @7 g, Q; b, T. n) Esquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 A7 g0 o: I( y0 c2 B2 k
3 z) [6 o s2 P* t4 e* v8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 I1 \+ N9 [/ hthe same road.3 P/ {& C5 j5 W) c
, }2 B; _& q+ G! _; J9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# X$ K7 B* U) o, Y' z' w# {; v
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally, i% \9 K H3 |* `# u' n* v) O! h1 P* n
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 ^' c3 n8 Q4 m. I( d' T! L4 izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 p& C; l2 v; c- j8 v7 Daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' l# i! L5 B. f. m/ y, q9 H, F6 G
2 E4 ?4 j2 t; O5 c) _7 L6 [11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* T# P E5 r% K( ^$ z `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! F. d7 o( o* C( Y, k+ Y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 |( x' E; U8 @' [. q6 G2 b* ~ @virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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