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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, v! Z) p! v5 ]4 N) b
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3 T& x8 F, m7 N5 r0 X% E9 F 1. Bring your own house.4 G) P6 P: b6 i' ~' M* w4 ^6 q9 v1 L
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder" a3 d# I8 v) V- f Z" k* B0 i" w
capital of Canada .. s3 b) V' |, k
- f, G8 @% Y6 S. @5 Z' v0 f 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; x; M! a; h$ Z/ {
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: A. o- x) A q/ ?capital of Canada .7 G) d% M4 j/ s" s
/ D7 {3 t; |* _. \$ s5 k Y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
. T0 ]5 e3 C! i8 d o+ T7 s/ Y$8.00/hour.8 v/ Y7 v3 R" A" G# O
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 o4 b" x* v0 C+ Y5 d1 l% O
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! s' K( h1 n" }9 g( D
on a 15 year holiday ?' i! T. z9 w b1 E5 l2 f' F
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ V$ _" [- Z* o& cprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ m6 L( Y; w6 s2 k$ J
0 Q5 s" L, a! g" M10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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& N* \. H% e( t4 ?( [2 Q11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 d$ _) k# U/ f& b2 I0 ^2 g
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- E5 j, E; r% K( v) Y9 y+ B1 |
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3 ?0 V' \1 ^( j: l* q4 F THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :9 k9 L3 {- N, z
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".5 E; s2 J, e8 z. I& |
) |9 C/ h4 y3 W) O1 k7 v2 n: Q }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* f# n$ q T; @1 D6 x3 g- g. z. A$ d
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% e: i) J Z) A! C! B
; |3 @' U; b, c* d8 |* O/ h3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* _ Y' e' A) G g% J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 _# l; {9 A- I% H m4 z* N1 t0 y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 p+ T; p2 H) y5 W4 Cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 E& M& p; Z7 n- Z. iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 O3 P" B5 N, W* E& C/ k4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 l( j4 r' E' S, q1 b5 [
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 K* k9 }/ U) s+ |* c
can get you shot.2 P7 a! O V, a( H: c2 `
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. ^; F' E0 k; f6 b7 j
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next$ M5 i- X! e% q* X
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and5 M7 @0 ?2 b* R) b
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% {3 {- v. N# a+ U8 Mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# e: M; z2 l# W/ V$ p- Q9 ?8 _, b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) T+ J7 L' }' T* k$ ]7 E8 Ithe same road.! O# F$ ]5 w; C' ~- a# T% ~
) [0 H& ~, ^* h* [# a1 o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: V/ J1 _9 O; n% X: l& z% e1 Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; A& ]( N. M! K5 i
activated."5 \ |$ V! G& U# [0 V
4 t/ Q8 o V# C; w2 a4 l8 Y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km0 I- P: `; I( H* N0 M; h6 c% H
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# y# e, F3 U* Q" P+ F; r
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 f9 U0 r/ a+ V. }& p% \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* T& Y" T; t' ^; d& k. `% y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) _/ E. P6 V$ j8 X* m7 g1 a
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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