埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2797|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
( i! k0 n3 }4 j3 n+ ]- v1 r. i8 d
, O: N  S3 w8 B1 @8 T7 W' @- [* q
8 D+ w, e& U' `6 y) o) ~8 p* w% B% W8 w1 u1 a9 x* v  n
1. Bring your own house.
5 s) i/ P( b, t% ~. O1 N3 i; Z9 V& x2 f- j
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
8 j& o5 i* l" V2 C0 J% thospital.
/ B0 g& C) ?! \( C5 D2 X2 t* w; H- w; J9 D; i* T1 ?
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ i: c- H- s1 s. r7 c1 f# F
capital of Canada .
& O% ~1 m4 k6 z0 Q, D/ H9 e( x: F
$ p( e2 g$ _2 V. C, q$ q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 f" s5 c% r: {
% x6 ]+ w* D/ }) o! {
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" X/ S! K9 O2 i3 ^' [8 Zcapital of Canada .
6 ^! v- f$ C" Y6 L$ {0 l. R% d
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! w1 A' Z+ T- ^; u
$8.00/hour.
6 s% n+ f4 _( ], p, @' r) e  [) z& ^3 U' Y# M  Y7 k, U( _
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 `! Y. P& s: _, V4 a$ ]! F" W; `

6 v3 B  h9 R  i 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 T3 w" a1 G5 W' u# uon a 15 year holiday ?
) N3 j$ ?' P3 ^5 ~
' ?: H. t; R+ `0 M8 O 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 ?8 ^# ~; k9 F7 b8 z' M
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), y5 p6 s  B7 v; g# X- H# p
, A2 L7 R/ W+ u% j6 w  v
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' e& [0 e- L+ c1 }4 q: P# g
here sick.5 C- @8 s7 ]5 R, h
, o/ I7 F2 k! @' F3 v
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 {# P- t4 [6 {. ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 r, `$ g, R- D3 q7 l- Q" Z
7 I8 q6 M, s  f& G$ t; R
+ P. d. L$ T2 f' x

! s& x' j( y7 Y* e THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 {8 t# L0 X% s% g. ]
, b5 n/ F8 a& C* Y4 J  A% n
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".: B" X3 k) x$ Z' K- o& J! J" Q

) \: a* r4 F4 V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 {: A, f$ i. k5 z; |' L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
0 h$ B% X: [  I% H5 R  o6 d5 v  L7 M4 E$ ~2 D0 x: I+ M
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, v# A) z3 {" p8 M( O0 L+ U/ Z- u
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 r# D; Q/ x/ H$ j, e3 w6 ]( @muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) Q7 @' H' E3 }: n, W1 pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
3 @( `$ k4 R  Hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; ?( A# o/ F: [% N  K0 \- N

9 `0 r+ b' b/ F3 B7 ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 E4 B0 V9 L$ ecussed out, and possibly shot.
9 v2 H) S# M: n, e8 Z! H; K4 N9 |8 {+ E9 d4 w3 n( \. q! ~
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, V; F1 a% c  V& s. e' p
can get you shot.
" Q6 m$ ~: }. Q8 [" E5 D: \. z+ D
" H. }" D( m6 I. H6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ `- G$ _) K$ l% ~2 tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
4 Y3 y. Y/ q  Q. ^; W/ Aday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, \% h5 |$ {5 T: w1 ~# I( p" ^
more construction starts everyday.
' c, ~( a+ d% D& Y" D7 j) S( V  v+ I4 [+ @
  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 P( v' P8 G) m8 Z/ z& Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 Z1 f! a( e4 H0 \$ U. ^squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 |+ [  p* F3 |1 {% j! S& `) ?9 x

( C) V2 v8 b9 m+ s2 v8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! ?5 t4 D( h  C# b
the same road.
0 p0 |2 s+ n2 x' s% E* O* b5 h0 g' I# k  O6 Z, I
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 |& g/ F1 }: }( R, i* N% u6 {! ^shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
0 z% ^0 \/ r8 T- @) @activated."- F. s$ X$ d! ~$ \2 x' }; ?" t
: T8 j. C  `$ Z# L
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km% K- Z* O" w& b* g9 d8 }' ~
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& R5 p% n9 I& [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
6 m6 E6 C2 M$ U- D$ [5 Z4 _
1 P$ P( a1 X! [( u9 T& M11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ Z8 D  y6 z8 f1 g9 H  h' i, Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 o+ y" \; n7 C* L7 |
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( R3 _( D7 g: X; W+ ]3 }; E
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

$ P% e( v6 h+ R3 j+ s4 i6 \& M9 p3 G有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。) X4 t( a4 k4 D, w" R
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
- p8 Z; ~7 t& s6 N有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
% k6 l* x" k% @3 r8 b$ }. p) @# F* E! ~) `& ?
此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 0 H8 C8 q* F. K0 N% m
) H! Q7 `" x. @6 I7 u
5 q. p' }6 q6 J8 r9 [
4 o. k" ^& C( a
[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
# @: N* U/ x9 ]  J" N' {; u朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
9 d/ ]7 k9 d2 ^4 x, S0 J! s$ N5 e1 Y* t满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。- k5 }2 H. g4 E& S
...

/ @) J) {; N0 D8 Z& A9 q4 J
/ c7 p9 F3 t+ o$ a* [' Y 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 - g7 i. g& w1 z! \1 N" ~, I
. i- p3 L/ |& X/ T5 C

% D) e* z9 W( s9 n 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

! q7 s- ^7 {8 J) [
8 n/ x; F+ M( n1 I4 E8 z1 j这么刺痛你了吗?% B0 a2 Q0 e+ q8 B/ V2 G

" ^0 W8 }, \5 G/ }2 `: C% x我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) G0 p8 }6 V% v& K2 b2 O4 V8 J$ q朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。& h' x5 V6 `+ n0 `0 u$ O
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
6 q* j* T- _, L ...

  Y3 @0 P4 N' X7 y4 f9 ]) M你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
% V; d2 A$ w# Z3 G# i: _! f3 o1 n6 L* O' l! T- K8 k9 W* F
再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.9 w9 e  u; e, J' D
* U+ c. o5 A1 E
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-1-16 08:16 , Processed in 0.174728 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表