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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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, p. L8 A: D4 d& C 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% e7 G. L% R2 ?; s, F4 | q" V( E
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d% U1 P* {( f7 D5 e 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ c6 P/ F$ |0 N. B- p1 ocapital of Canada .
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8 } S9 `% u. N0 h2 Q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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$ a3 N& s+ W/ }2 m5 d 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. j( E/ o& L- H' d, U: c U
capital of Canada .. M- |/ J4 S- f8 r0 q
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is0 {5 Z6 K" ~8 C
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ N1 T& R* l# t- y+ t& P* y% p
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)2 n2 U9 f0 ~% C9 Q. }1 `/ ~
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& |" J2 ^8 c! G" s- w8 G
here sick.2 S/ I1 C |3 y# r. j, J# s
/ b, Y# q2 B* q! _' T7 Z$ X11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 ]; Z; o& x, A& ~# q$ P7 T4 L$ x# n
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. b2 Z" ~# m5 a
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$ r1 V) T: k; C+ e THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." ?4 r/ P8 X2 z- G }
0 W& {! c1 O9 P' N1 a ?6 e2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. `- p! W# s* f! m: [# c
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& A6 q9 q2 A6 H$ a, f5 e7 t
: Q1 l4 U! F8 R I3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- D$ d2 h( u9 z$ x
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! j! T) w- ^2 |( H, kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires5 ~+ i+ J' F# w, n+ }# Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: ~1 K! n) l! P- l- t' I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& u1 I5 e1 j# e6 B/ D4 C
8 i$ @+ U) l5 f* s! s( `: g+ V) E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 Z2 W& D1 H9 b0 Y' o
cussed out, and possibly shot.% \" r4 V3 i: M$ N# _
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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5 W9 c/ \- a( z8 e& {6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour( \! E4 v3 w' x8 b8 x/ S2 s
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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' h: L% A" T* {8 Vmore construction starts everyday.8 L3 N6 L. V- `- A2 q
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; t% W* ?, m9 Q8 x7 W, D0 a C
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' J/ c, z5 }5 G- i3 f; d& b0 Ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( Y9 }5 \8 E) _. k2 S
; c o3 i" z$ l7 g* I8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 s' H! ?. y. c! B" @the same road.8 ^8 y& i7 `% n- O
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated.") T, c n& z3 E/ U# ?, }+ B" g
8 j0 w7 V$ T9 {) j$ F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
+ {. d( M6 f" {- @" Yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- l* V9 ]) ~2 n7 F, a) q4 l- A
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 d" C; c, U) @& r
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 X5 b% U2 ?. b2 \7 K- |% k
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ X. M, x# d/ I# M5 K. I J* nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 a$ L H% P B- n
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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