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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ @+ L+ \: f' W; ?$ h
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1. Bring your own house." _! v7 w% S+ a1 ]0 \/ g \
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
K# m: a' `: U- x7 V, A. Y2 {hospital.
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, W" r+ Z) t1 y0 h; N( ^ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 F7 A2 k) E/ h5 [5 E" Mcapital of Canada .; _. |: c- O2 Z; r' o9 K
+ H8 R/ U- C3 Q, F; ~& N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .5 ^- q- f; l6 s9 w* A# E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug4 l) w4 S/ y, t0 F1 K/ U
capital of Canada .
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% `5 O: K' I* a: c1 R8 k 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* \! [0 r; l" y" _* |7 ~
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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4 A0 A! w5 O- n' D3 J1 K' T5 W0 }( _ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: F: c) V* X" x# d7 v$ i& a B/ P' j
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 v/ ~8 \8 X- j& {/ ?prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* W" k; z. |# X5 f# c( }
8 O" ]* l/ Q- k# r9 z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 U% q, ~) r( e: W9 M
here sick." v8 E1 h" Z' s, i
. Y. P/ F. y) F1 h$ e) B, K11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; ^) ~9 Y+ H7 P% e- I' F
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 \# o2 o1 N* U3 \# E% j( L
2 R* `8 r* |- L+ ]. e: Y& U1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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# n" W" K6 h, W8 U4 |- d: k1 ~2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! h4 i& M, U4 \
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& g1 h* I+ ?( A* I$ g0 u. M R3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 {" G2 _1 T( N0 _7 n% Bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest H1 t `+ k9 X4 \2 E
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) W, M' S+ s9 P- s4 Dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ i; i! F& } X; `- @! ~! d, gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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. I9 d+ U/ l: Y" R5 O1 T. g8 [4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 I! A( N( v( E8 D: X" V" B
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 b" C1 s# [& s% e9 C
can get you shot.% `8 ?9 w; d2 u7 Z. o
C5 C) f, Y4 w% W& _( l- M6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
4 k L! `. ]& ^7 o6 sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( G/ Y, S0 X P1 F5 y$ _/ V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' R2 C3 ^2 F' d+ I7 j
more construction starts everyday.# h, s: U/ o6 _/ |5 v2 v3 O9 x
7 v+ F! j* d& S 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 K" i- n( U! Vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 Z2 m0 o: x. ~0 w! |squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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* I- ?/ i- X' _$ s5 H3 N; G8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all+ L& M1 b$ b/ ]- P* W* n
the same road.
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- w: F, }: G+ w' J8 m9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% k. ]+ b* j3 E4 {( Ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* {) s; y; y" y( U1 c7 v) Y8 P2 _
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off", G4 a5 M% l- @/ h$ L# Z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." _/ ^' d9 D d: X& c! e
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! r' \9 V; g; z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- E6 W2 r6 X* |( ~- _- G
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is/ [2 d; h1 o/ y6 w3 D/ X- P
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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