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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA  d2 B: @3 y  h  B$ c

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: y" A3 R/ P  g. M$ Q 1. Bring your own house.& S# I# |% x  ^6 a' k3 D; P

* r$ C$ `' e; _% C7 F' B* y7 w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
; N5 |! ]9 W/ }; D* m& Jhospital.6 ~- z% H7 |! ^$ b

% J2 h" B; V4 v5 w% s# Z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- v) R2 S# }: \2 u$ |capital of Canada .6 b0 F. M/ o0 O% {; T9 W: F
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., m7 j8 S2 E/ J6 \! k$ E. l* S$ r5 |, E" j

+ A* V+ |0 E" I9 A  O' _# o 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug7 ]/ y7 i2 a, W& o1 G
capital of Canada .6 H. H) T3 Z2 ~" ?% ]8 A6 e
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 o8 ~; b9 O# X& ]5 F( b) c' B
$8.00/hour.4 W! S7 C, C1 l# x4 E# L5 H

& y. g  `5 J6 X; w1 s# T2 R% b! M 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# W* P- ~6 E7 {# y
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( e6 z2 Y* o6 E& q6 B8 U
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 \2 M. @+ [. p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 o  Q* ~7 J. a* h2 _  C
here sick.# N6 {+ O6 z5 B
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12$ a$ D( ?) @9 j8 c" k' U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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1 [4 g# l- b) b, d4 Y, N7 y/ u5 J( {
; N+ E% j; V6 ^( ?- Q; ^# K! D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 N8 S4 r& a3 b' Q: _/ {5 c

8 L) \5 |) ^, A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) o* R+ X+ d0 m. h

1 s% X; V% d7 o% E! `8 s2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
  a8 K0 u/ G" X- v, A) @8 Lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 d' B9 X1 u# y- V6 g
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 k' v  ^% q4 v1 `2 k# iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( g6 \) ^+ X1 w6 Y8 Zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. p* N) y5 T& Y/ M( F
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) u9 I6 E* E% O4 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 m! I3 K# o* Q* l& H
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 H1 D# N1 B2 U5 H
cussed out, and possibly shot.5 R  B2 w6 |8 C( @, B! U

2 S6 [/ a" `. t2 I% v5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that9 r1 I0 o! @. {* P( E/ k0 F& i# t
can get you shot.& o! @2 J  K9 `' i: U- P) |
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) d0 r- g+ ]% t4 J8 f0 Z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# T0 B1 v+ {+ F
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ T6 P' K/ i$ Y, smore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* C& n) K( G  z1 z+ E8 q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* a3 q% W1 d2 E) J( y6 Wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 ~7 O6 U: \" R+ e5 k# {

  s6 g: z( N, S. U  L  U8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, \" @9 e1 v1 B3 t2 w+ Nthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ w, z* R5 B3 z9 x( t, f9 {shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
7 V5 K) S1 A4 D& H4 T6 Gactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, e* ^1 l* T; j, {1 R
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
3 D" j. w  i: H# k! Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 i. ]# N* O, J2 b' O. w

( P6 a/ V& |4 c3 O& l# |8 T7 k11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) }- y. M% Y( U! t' @8 P/ O. }lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ x  y" {( \, Y- F6 M# d& h
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' ?/ G2 l2 T( L) svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。3 P( M$ w# n9 t: y. G' Q
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。* Z3 `  }5 u% g8 g" B$ C" D! J3 \
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : . z- ^% b2 |3 M
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ! o3 D# s; S9 K: f$ @/ a
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( F# }+ p, f* ^) {, q) k) d[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 8 p3 I0 [* o0 E( H
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: b  X# d1 S" H3 L, m- f0 _
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。# f0 ~; E$ s( z% }) r' i( w" H
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?# s  A9 y" v  g( \: u' B
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ' s6 L/ G( [( Z. d5 F7 Q1 |
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 ?3 N! Q0 q3 u4 U! b/ F6 v0 K满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。7 |7 L" T& l1 g9 S3 a
...

4 f) g, Y! e# l* Z+ L9 O8 I你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。  l, ^: ~0 A$ d$ O) m8 ~
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.0 h# I  [& g  H  V& ]4 K! N3 d; H
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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