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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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# Y5 x/ J" I7 D$ y1 s 1. Bring your own house. L4 b. [! b; R2 r- d& o$ Y1 i
( P4 E" s4 D( G0 B1 x 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
0 O3 }4 s; p- b- R4 r3 Ccapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- v5 s* j# T0 r3 v
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 ` D' p! W1 F3 q! ?
$8.00/hour.* s0 F5 M& W) k& S; j
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( ?( P* j/ T% o- A& D
9 T* ~2 r( v( }* r) g. R) B 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 }1 j! S, A6 C/ z" Y( ~ U
on a 15 year holiday ?
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! [7 [" b* y3 k- G- ^4 n 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: x0 {% e) J# s) i# Iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ ?) h) Q, W2 U* F
, ^" m- f5 J8 p5 A1 f, T10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
I+ l/ o \* O) i0 X: u3 K; Bhere sick.* S1 Q9 b, g& L, i1 z2 T
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
1 M- i# h' \- M% Ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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. x6 j3 a' f. X- B5 Z5 F1 L; c THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 e( ~2 _: ~$ Q" d2 x3 s* b
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" h8 t% f5 @+ _' u) j' g
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.3 a6 w; L( q* M1 k( @5 [( C# k
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 J, Y+ `+ f3 a5 i; e" y' gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest; m, F5 x7 P* Q& |
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" k) k {; V' M
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% {' _% W' d+ ~0 ]% d7 nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 g9 H! o' b3 wcussed out, and possibly shot.
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+ I5 G4 [. N# s0 A7 o1 ?: M5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% D5 k8 l0 h& r. r. D, _1 ]
can get you shot.
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1 U. N. h! \) B5 L6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ P1 V1 d2 K; Y- z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 w C$ ]3 S$ V/ G+ u. Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 j, H7 M+ E: jmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; d0 F4 i& D5 A% M5 c9 J- Tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 K( c) S. s# T( T. y' t: f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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/ W: j- M' b+ Y0 C0 S0 }8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ v: U. q1 [% g
the same road.2 \0 s9 b9 W. r& \ n
9 G$ U! Q$ v/ X# T9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 U' A2 W! I3 Qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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! g$ K+ K9 x& A10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 ~: L, D( I1 p0 Czone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 @% p' l; G7 ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. @, u$ n r& G7 r: U/ f
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" _7 B3 R0 [; E8 F5 p7 T
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
T7 U j# }! j" b8 F1 cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is: B! Q1 J% A7 G- a! i
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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