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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA$ x4 z' k) ^% d% Q8 i
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1. Bring your own house.
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0 y+ a- z, x) L/ B/ l: w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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0 c% o d5 [' B* R0 T9 f 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% g3 A( j, g6 s8 ~/ B; u; o2 @
capital of Canada .
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% s: `" E+ p R- X4 D 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: N7 o. N, H: e6 v6 I
capital of Canada .3 f* y+ g) E; C$ W3 V4 D2 ]
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' k* x' H$ c/ _7 Q* O A
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 r* O% f" v! y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" h5 M& u1 z. ]0 ]! E
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 r/ Z; D7 G# [" A
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- J* ^* ~8 D& X" E' A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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6 e |2 u, R/ G# P1 U THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- `- A" q; q5 S& Y" M( _; N1 D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. D; m9 O4 O& g# s# ?( h4 P
0 X' Y" {& _& w5 |2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ \9 z) J+ n N% {' F4 y" A
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 J$ A3 m8 B5 A7 ~6 J8 ]own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* j9 B7 C; L& j" K7 r/ y9 W7 imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* K u/ _8 Y# S0 T8 ^) lgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 k. I+ Q' Y" E2 F
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 \) k% U, D F- W% }( ?4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% l/ v$ Q; a3 O3 \5 [
cussed out, and possibly shot.- N! x4 T5 t, C D' A
9 Z4 @: |3 m2 o% g M. ~1 ?5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 Y; A0 Y7 n8 i9 z/ S+ \
can get you shot.; \ [$ C8 S' t% O+ J, E7 I
% V: P$ e$ y8 ]# O6 ?5 I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour f, Y; u4 Q8 t" D+ ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- |0 _. A6 Y& G0 ] v, I, u) wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; k! t) M- R; M( `4 Q% Q1 h" y, i) `more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# `& ~7 J, O% h1 I+ \7 U4 K# Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. s* o( z) H! U) O$ Z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) _3 j+ b, W D: S3 Q8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! h* l) }' e, | p k
the same road.
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$ G8 J9 ]& Z1 j) m/ h) f2 Q: h0 d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ Z. ^; P& T" C+ l' U. P2 m
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km) g/ h7 m, d7 j1 w7 U" s/ I M
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"* L- t b D$ {' i8 \$ U7 Z5 u
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' L2 D$ q' Y0 N) ~ z
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' Q$ ^9 I0 l0 i) olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
q3 c) |4 ^* k: g6 Hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; R; q5 y8 _9 _1 }virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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