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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA+ _, }9 @) m9 l) l5 I6 a. k
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$ g3 |9 {& C1 e9 ^ 1. Bring your own house.+ B+ `! u$ w1 m1 p0 u/ c, @4 s6 E
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 c' y9 [1 h% p+ k: Z0 rcapital of Canada .
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7 f1 j" A: `& \, b: i, W' ^0 o 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .1 e! n% R  Z9 x" r$ b( a/ s+ q! H
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. {8 @! }9 ~6 Y$ W
capital of Canada ./ K7 q0 b! C6 @& M

6 @+ ]7 r4 G1 j6 g 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ F0 }- j5 B  G
$8.00/hour.
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! C8 l2 f1 R; o4 }- L 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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  f6 d' a( b1 b! s# R/ G% I/ |* J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) |3 b# U& L8 L0 e, G: u1 non a 15 year holiday ?
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8 I6 u# @  G' l% S% E7 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 X4 c" w; g4 F1 W9 l
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 W+ [( T2 g/ z! E  [3 p# b
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 n- t1 u4 M3 J. ~3 J
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" p' [7 |7 S* H4 e THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" n) `" z3 R, z. y8 ?

/ ?, O6 e$ ?  X5 D: B6 N1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) J8 ^7 @, l# G

; }( Q' C- f- N1 b% [2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 H; a4 G  _! L7 Gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. q  @3 o; t, q2 S+ k6 A8 Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 X1 {& T) d5 E( G7 w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 _) i$ E' G/ B, e" a* b, r
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 x: E6 a6 f+ T  r& \( fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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  M+ v5 o$ Z8 p; R9 N4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ r& b; ^% W- g! R* z8 Z6 a4 l1 K
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 h: ?4 k4 z4 U2 d# ?$ \1 U
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour4 l+ [. q3 v6 L
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 n) K! c7 ^" o" Z4 }( i+ i2 i- m
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, N+ A- U% l9 k( ]7 f
more construction starts everyday.4 _2 b, N# B2 X7 V* \) L: D
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* u' ?4 g# p, vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 s' `- W4 c$ G: [4 h8 Hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ y: z3 w8 }3 |' C

  D1 F, j, F6 P  e8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 B0 v& L( p, l8 S! L
the same road.8 {8 s' g$ [3 Y8 u
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 v4 v; w( e( \shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ r6 R3 a+ _) ^. |( w
activated."
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% U! L/ ?: Y( V; Q0 K1 s10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 s% D% H* q$ E; {# Y# [3 u+ ]
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") n2 z, Y' n* F! `& |2 f
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ i( @* C& O( Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ G6 r; Y3 O: I# tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& M1 S" N/ k$ \' b8 B) K6 i, rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 Y1 S4 l4 v+ N. C& ^+ h- ]满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
6 Z* N0 s  K6 }$ [有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 3 |" s2 T" K& h- u! \' w9 K

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5 {; ]* G5 m6 l- N* c' Z[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 , H+ u! w) B6 J6 u  e
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ p8 h7 ^) d' i0 v3 O满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。. I& Q1 m0 b2 e$ |8 k
...

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: U* K2 X7 C2 B 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 ! ]8 C8 f# H# A
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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$ g& N. f6 O, s& J这么刺痛你了吗?$ D$ D5 T4 e) s5 L* F
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 : Q* V8 h; M% C( b
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。6 D  z" U" O) A5 s
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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8 ]4 N' x% q, }2 W3 K再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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