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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 t) B( I6 Y; } 1. Bring your own house.
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9 Y) k- W5 N) ], F% n( O/ i# y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 E9 y& v. x- R0 i1 |
hospital.
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/ \4 s  e0 ~8 }1 F3 E1 z# @1 N 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 r( q6 x+ Y" }& [" lcapital of Canada .; m* _3 R& |7 W& T1 m- I% Q

; P9 s; z* L( D6 d& }; H 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 m; F; x4 c! g  @2 S
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- k: t" @' K, x; c  d$ d! ]
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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3 ~* w/ ~1 y5 g( {( k& H/ e1 M$ b: A 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! k* v, U7 e: V9 z0 k0 l
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% ^" ~2 Z( e2 I, L: yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 l8 W$ a. R& n, i1 {& ~6 G* k- Y

4 ?+ l2 j9 s1 t; P10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' R7 {3 G- {/ {9 j9 _
here sick.
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' E# N$ {) p* ~$ H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 u. N+ ?; h2 N4 i& Lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.5 n, w9 d  {* {* t1 y

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :' d* D* ?$ g' \* [/ g6 ^- t& }" t, D

: g( Q& r& e- G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 S6 }- Y/ S+ g4 l
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 m* X# t5 p! b3 qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: k0 ~' D" z+ ]  i: B/ F

# s2 M$ E1 M; X" Y) e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, C4 v5 |6 ]. w% `2 {own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 j! Y5 D0 r5 _: M5 ?2 Gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 j$ I/ k' G* {* L2 f- s  P2 ?5 f& P
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: }( n+ Y1 \) o* I/ P  X1 B4 `8 Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( d* D$ p! B  ]* D! L
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% |$ p( m$ r, b3 |  l& Z" J
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 {0 s& A2 R. C& e+ ~6 w0 q8 u5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 y8 K" _/ e' k! C' E% ]can get you shot.
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4 d% j) I( |8 V6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 P* ]6 l3 `' B' o0 R! X# k1 ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ A6 b/ l; W0 {+ j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and  Z0 s. b/ Y4 }  w) P8 W8 q3 Q
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ s6 p7 `' b6 V" D7 ~5 c6 v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- a4 i' G3 Q6 P  O" h$ a! Ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.  O. N* ]# I, G" D) S

& L' T; n! O6 b, Z6 W' T8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# k. |( n* p+ `  f. U$ u
the same road.
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& G( U5 G$ @0 P9 y6 {  s3 F, R4 O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) s# _+ o7 p' A) x! J6 \5 Z! bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# _9 S4 V# r( C5 o/ b) D" W
activated."
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, C2 [, k! y* m8 V5 X10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! G$ |1 L5 Z( \4 E9 \+ B' n
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ b( G! K; N; B) H" S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 |  Z0 ~/ A' B8 ~# h1 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, s* m7 M+ q7 s7 I+ W. L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 o% k3 B; |: b( X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

6 _* Z) S# ~: z4 T" _: d* s& t有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
* {* e( H% i0 z+ g& J, a满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
0 P6 y! j3 I  C. ^有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 3 V  u$ V- t) C9 l, K. B

1 n. u; i( D5 W此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 . y; y$ Q- W9 R$ c) q6 i8 Z, z
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
/ Y8 n5 _" Y, \# j- @满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。$ O" E) ^/ b  R! P: b8 d' y
...
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' ]( l8 @! K: @; P9 d/ H 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 + X( ]% \. O5 }% [0 N7 U
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$ y* F0 g( e/ q  k* M 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?9 W$ i* d: ~  W% a, m
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 - c0 |1 i  t1 L2 u
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。9 J  y- c8 I9 {5 k) _  J9 i+ X0 g  N
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。  ?$ j' X, i2 j1 a2 `0 W
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。& y8 u% a2 h; v) i/ T: _7 k& D
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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