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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 i: ^% d  \, A- i' f, M 1. Bring your own house." U# L6 @3 L- }3 d) n# L- n4 A
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 b  h, A* n; n, R, R' G: g
hospital.& [6 l' p, e" X9 e
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ q( q6 B+ ?& r0 ]/ v
capital of Canada .8 W' C1 O; }( l- M8 j# U

( P+ x& z! ~% R. Q0 _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& l0 t9 k0 e4 v
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
  v( _# t3 c& U) fcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) k9 {1 o/ n- w' v/ a$8.00/hour.
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/ w# h( M9 Y2 M# Q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ m, M8 Q' Y- {on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ P4 O0 r3 G+ g1 B! J- k" ^: Sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come/ K0 w: e+ J5 z0 V, k! n/ ^5 F
here sick.( W8 S+ Q4 @! v+ ]
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ S$ B- E+ k) C; m. u' u
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." L  i7 w! Y! k2 q% G
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :# D) P0 w6 ^& _( ^  X; S" J7 ~

! d! p: n# W* \7 V$ P1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 k$ k* \: a1 v6 ~+ n

# d% |1 t1 o7 U) Q# n' H2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
  G, b0 n: D. kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& d. @& l. x, _  K0 c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! u4 G1 g1 b- M5 ^% R+ o% k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest  @  A5 k, h- c$ ?
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ Y" P. L2 V6 |go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell8 ?+ @! Q2 S* W' L. l( U  f* i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 ^* U) w% i7 f  Z- U# i
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: V6 @$ C  A$ z1 b6 ]
can get you shot.* g% X* L2 Q5 w9 ^3 f0 U( A8 C0 |
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 u  Z% A7 p0 T. r3 O9 {barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% ^) M! z7 ^* ]$ Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 Z4 p& E- Z' F3 N' S1 _
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 S8 i% n0 W+ H
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 L0 l7 r+ N$ Z1 _' m1 f. h: Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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/ j% M- ~0 y; d3 R/ A/ r8 h3 R" O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' y; [/ D6 _* y' j3 d
the same road.: c4 V- Y% T" e& n" {/ Q! U
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# e$ i& w5 O7 v) \, ~. d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! s$ R7 O' Q# N$ I8 A; h, v
activated."# ?+ [5 _5 g5 G( }; e
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km/ I& G2 B9 C7 S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
" A: M2 d) N  Vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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$ a/ t; g& t4 X& _- R11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. Y& E. t0 V6 k" I; F/ o/ glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- w, X2 e) q) `3 u" f  j9 `9 F
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' P- H: l& v# P: A9 |) Q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
& J' }, }7 r5 V2 C1 ]5 T, M满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
! p6 [( r/ Z; e8 R2 p* T有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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- ^9 V- p" Q0 q# S% X[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 - o7 q! [0 X* l2 f
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: j0 o- f6 Z# j3 O4 i
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 7 X, a$ e  R/ h
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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- l6 B6 q2 E5 e/ ]% I这么刺痛你了吗?
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3 ], b% m; b: c' f' n我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" Y7 x7 d, C/ e' m- @1 R朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。/ ^- p3 |/ J5 Y1 Q) Y
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。  W, Z; h. [+ o0 n
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.2 H! U0 _  [3 v: F7 r8 G. _

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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