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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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+ C+ V+ ?; S5 c V8 _/ A 1. Bring your own house.3 Z7 Y4 S/ _9 Z' G, g
* ]- h v1 l' ]$ p' k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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$ Y/ x# O7 o5 t7 k! e x4 I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ N6 e' E" h$ q3 Q/ C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) c5 q2 a6 j8 G; x
capital of Canada .
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: U; y, ?$ X6 V: Q) d 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 w& C' b- V$ e C, F* n$ R( W( r5 {
$8.00/hour./ a" A+ w8 v) W% n. C
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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9 a6 v4 d/ g$ m 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, ?0 T8 Z+ e# }- D1 I! _on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" g& S% R6 W" ~; Z( K. }! e" V
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ [ C3 \( e9 d+ X5 l5 R" [1 {# u
. A* v4 H, L" x* J10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* @$ k" @% j, j d1 E% z
here sick.) ~0 u) ?! \$ w2 ? A
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# X5 @4 f, _) h" Syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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# m. O4 I) ]5 v: t1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".' }8 a9 D3 u) B- p0 ~. b
/ N; |; `3 s0 Q" ~* k. ~2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( z* R6 W( Q! O& \: q0 ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. u; r1 l. r9 \# eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 h# N1 l( d" W3 ~" Y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" N8 S* j) y/ L5 x/ I p/ ^, A
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" a/ }& |, i9 t- t5 C. Y2 i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ M7 F- }$ n: h) a" i3 y/ D: Ncussed out, and possibly shot.
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! Z4 }( m9 W% A& i5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
) H% L5 ~ U" s& h' O! H8 hcan get you shot./ t5 X. w7 t, F# v4 R, y/ ?
8 v' l8 q% k7 r t6 w/ l6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) }* V6 r: t( u* K6 c' @
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 `; M+ N; k0 N/ y0 L# i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# U6 s/ ?& U# k; B: H0 z- L% M
more construction starts everyday.
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+ q* x8 u( b* |8 h) R 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: m; s3 y8 y7 w# m9 ~' l
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* y: x6 ^4 ~! r2 Q% K7 Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 Y5 V) m1 q& ^6 @
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 ~# z4 @2 f5 I6 w2 ]1 y
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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0 z- z5 F, d6 p1 _- a5 H5 P6 T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( T' B- W1 B) S% B$ y" O, r
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": E& }1 E, E1 @
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" }& R& I) R9 n* ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( h" q# d# W H( T6 R# u6 B8 S
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( Q- D+ Y9 ~2 T' a- i' Ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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