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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA! k9 }; m7 t! _0 E
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1. Bring your own house.: M- _/ ^# V, C9 B
5 A. a* f; t T, h$ U: _ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( j0 u( Q# X1 ], E: l
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! o6 q0 I8 n4 f7 e
capital of Canada .
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- v. C0 z; M: A* O* c9 M: P( Q N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 p- j6 Q9 F' ]' u5 {2 K
5 S, {; R) D1 ~1 | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) ?. I$ X7 q. W7 d
capital of Canada .4 _. X8 i5 O6 I- Q+ d
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 B) L) Y1 z* @# X o( o! `$8.00/hour.1 e1 c8 W2 z% h' I: X4 |
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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( P. X8 j4 B& k( g% A. r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% @* a4 x. i2 Y* E, f6 P
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 i: n: O" e; T, e
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! ~7 h4 K D' v" e
here sick.0 ]: w2 @. M/ X! Z+ E: A
7 Q! h; I! J7 D/ K/ K8 d: E8 c11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 w; N, n5 }- m3 {0 D
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 C' m& z$ J, W1 E' D. K: e
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( V% F6 c, r y1 o1 N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 V9 z l: }: ^5 V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 g) ~5 _/ {' }4 p( x2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) d. g$ \+ s2 J, T8 r
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ ]4 p0 F3 s/ b. b; j& v( s0 w, @" ~
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' c0 {1 t5 y: g( P7 Z& ^muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' ?& I( h! X% c& w: d$ k1 s' ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell; z$ X: @! P2 |% ^% b; [
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 O" _- Z6 B& G- h" `+ L* z$ R% }
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# s$ y7 O, H* g! E- c) C' }4 vcussed out, and possibly shot.0 T( P4 H- I+ \9 M. ^, m4 k* J9 I
( y, U5 Y' _( G8 x6 o5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that/ p+ @* E/ m0 J8 h p/ G3 K6 K
can get you shot.
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5 A) k8 w3 ?, ]7 }8 }6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 F; T! t0 `! Q4 }) u9 l) d bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: r3 Y+ t. Y+ I# Q; P% k r! W
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 g0 @/ a) x+ Z& l
more construction starts everyday.% t, ~! @1 m$ P. e0 J' c( F' S
, G$ [! G: V% B8 K8 U+ ~ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
, Q9 V6 z# y7 w0 |deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# y4 ^% L, j# L0 |- S0 J9 \1 `
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% z/ K( i0 o( Z2 U- K
* l" c# Z. ^, K9 Q8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 T$ e: [3 j5 ~) i
the same road.& C- G Q4 v/ D) q
* z+ V$ V! o" T; |9 \- V: K9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 h: r( L4 R; W1 A6 fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! D5 ~8 ^- `, f
activated."- D6 o8 e1 `+ r
8 X! a2 U5 U" C/ I P* N. i10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 M9 a! o; U/ P+ b. p t9 Mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( d' U7 ~; P" Z5 x' laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur u/ L$ `8 u5 L. |3 a }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 S# g0 i- J/ H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 R$ K# ^' ]4 W4 h, B; j- }
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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