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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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+ C+ V+ ?; S5 c  V8 _/ A 1. Bring your own house.3 Z7 Y4 S/ _9 Z' G, g

* ]- h  v1 l' ]$ p' k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
4 [( T% y4 L( [7 a$ ^/ q8 ~% Lhospital.+ _' r/ N1 z0 t* r
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 }, Y# R. }4 _, Lcapital of Canada .# ~3 |, r: O' S7 L# i

$ Y/ x# O7 o5 t7 k! e  x4 I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ N6 e' E" h$ q3 Q/ C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) c5 q2 a6 j8 G; x
capital of Canada .
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: U; y, ?$ X6 V: Q) d 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 w& C' b- V$ e  C, F* n$ R( W( r5 {
$8.00/hour./ a" A+ w8 v) W% n. C
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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9 a6 v4 d/ g$ m 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, ?0 T8 Z+ e# }- D1 I! _on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" g& S% R6 W" ~; Z( K. }! e" V
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ [  C3 \( e9 d+ X5 l5 R" [1 {# u

. A* v4 H, L" x* J10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* @$ k" @% j, j  d1 E% z
here sick.) ~0 u) ?! \$ w2 ?  A
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# X5 @4 f, _) h" Syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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# m. O4 I) ]5 v: t1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".' }8 a9 D3 u) B- p0 ~. b

/ N; |; `3 s0 Q" ~* k. ~2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( z* R6 W( Q! O& \: q0 ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. u; r1 l. r9 \# eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 h# N1 l( d" W3 ~" Y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" N8 S* j) y/ L5 x/ I  p/ ^, A
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" a/ }& |, i9 t- t5 C. Y2 i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ M7 F- }$ n: h) a" i3 y/ D: Ncussed out, and possibly shot.
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! Z4 }( m9 W% A& i5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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8 v' l8 q% k7 r  t6 w/ l6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) }* V6 r: t( u* K6 c' @
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 `; M+ N; k0 N/ y0 L# i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# U6 s/ ?& U# k; B: H0 z- L% M
more construction starts everyday.
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+ q* x8 u( b* |8 h) R  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: m; s3 y8 y7 w# m9 ~' l
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* y: x6 ^4 ~! r2 Q% K7 Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 Y5 V) m1 q& ^6 @
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 ~# z4 @2 f5 I6 w2 ]1 y
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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0 z- z5 F, d6 p1 _- a5 H5 P6 T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( T' B- W1 B) S% B$ y" O, r
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": E& }1 E, E1 @
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" }& R& I) R9 n* ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( h" q# d# W  H( T6 R# u6 B8 S
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( Q- D+ Y9 ~2 T' a- i' Ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

! N( d- f8 D  Y( _8 V7 C有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。6 Z. H5 g  \5 h8 V: L; v
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
7 d9 G  o" ?' S1 z. ~  @0 ^有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 2 ]6 b3 k+ b2 d* P! o
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 * ^$ ?; N# P) b* E4 I

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 . K; j5 h- R. r5 J% l* L
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。$ i- x& e, w1 d! N& t# h
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。/ c, `. h1 c& e, z' R( I, o
...

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: J( {1 |2 o2 }& J% E 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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- F+ G$ x3 V9 L0 w 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?5 q2 U5 t  q& m' p& S6 D% k
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 $ s/ n* x$ n5 M" q0 i
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。( V  D6 t1 K* @- G4 C$ M) D
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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. K0 q; t5 A- }+ L" w& N" c你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。. s3 t$ f& `' x% v6 G+ T3 X

- k, O& m6 B' x再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.7 s0 b* p' d, n7 s
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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