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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.% {, t% m  b  n3 }* q2 Q. B' I6 E/ i

. N$ Y" F4 a9 ] 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 ?5 v& {/ p+ H9 P9 G
hospital.2 V  a' x7 g. g& u
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' E2 r/ A+ F# o1 U  }
capital of Canada .# J. e4 n! R- \( E

* v' ~, m7 |8 H% O' j7 F6 ?1 P1 E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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/ `4 K4 e, d* k 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 |$ Z4 u( O# W% w
capital of Canada ., v% B& @8 f: Y: y3 A% }, }

& j. Q  D3 e8 y. N 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ R8 ]- K: f* g8 f+ [9 [$8.00/hour.6 U6 q  g7 X( t5 q
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 S- n/ z  H- O/ C& @; I
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ i9 ]/ E) V1 c, M) t# U
on a 15 year holiday ?- @. Q: X* u( t) Z; m
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 t1 u  z6 I# U3 L
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% M8 v# M. R8 p% L
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: u( E6 p/ l& r" i, ]
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- E1 r5 i( X0 N& V. h  u" f
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ @" K" v: Q: K- A, l: u+ Q+ |
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :& p: O5 E% J# U2 t& N, T- D

# C- @7 g6 ^9 [1 D1 b1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 e7 u' z# G+ Y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 y- J. w( {  i5 h" }8 ais from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! h% V( M+ P8 ?, Y2 w0 ?

; v9 M  K. y& d; S# [3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
  m  K' L9 z" H4 @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. i4 s3 n7 f" K' ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires; s& E1 P/ q2 V4 L! A2 ?! v
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, ?1 e+ {1 G) _1 e( H* tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) @0 S1 F! g, E6 y6 |& Y9 N

0 |; Z, s% H/ c. |' D4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: f  }9 J5 g3 E8 N3 `+ Hcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 ~: M4 ~1 d2 I5 _* T% _, [: q5 Jcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 V) E9 S2 K$ U& c0 u, Ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 n6 f; h+ [& u8 Z) ?: `  mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, X7 }: L' h/ w( {* l
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,  u0 x9 m' z5 O7 G. d0 z0 v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 Y  U) @' {/ P2 e7 l8 G. h+ ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 k2 U  K+ Z: f2 ?
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- }) C( O- K' T# ]! N0 R3 R9 d3 X2 C
the same road.; x) `: v) h- U' Q
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the: U/ D4 w7 H0 K6 d) J" J6 h
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally+ n7 B+ ~" Z7 e4 J* w
activated."
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$ n/ Q! ]0 U/ s. `. n4 z) t  j1 }10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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% {' ]2 N& d; J9 {accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" T9 Y: s* V# j! m- r! [6 Y11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 J$ @. a9 n/ Q) P
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and6 n5 N! B! t( w' ?% {1 Z, Y( w1 @
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ S5 d6 z5 Y* w. p. \4 N5 _) pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
9 d0 t2 k7 _9 U% ?满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。% q4 Z6 F- d) P  l7 ^
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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9 G( K: I. Z3 @: f; S) H此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 8 G/ K7 L' ]+ F3 r& ~3 Q

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( p) c6 O9 o* f7 R8 I[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 $ m! R, @0 S8 ?2 q. b5 r
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。  C# w) r1 R8 F0 V
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。" X4 N5 E% O4 W' E6 W/ ~
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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" \5 \1 X3 C& Q, ]2 `  [6 E 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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' J( i0 b2 I( T4 n: }, J这么刺痛你了吗?
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0 c; z; ^5 s9 e+ r: S* |- M我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
. R; `0 U6 s- K& \4 }朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 l. M/ z" g" |" R& \' U满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。9 E3 ]& f( _! v) |0 d0 H1 x  R
...

# \2 a9 k" q2 V  Z. `6 c你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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