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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 x" u0 A6 b l+ b1 e 1. Bring your own house./ M9 S6 E7 I# M5 d2 {# W5 `# i
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and T y6 q: R5 m6 g ~: i G* T3 u+ E
hospital.
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4 M+ x. |4 w6 \* x a! l# \ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 A3 q; ]7 O9 D! i# r
capital of Canada .* r- X2 ?) p2 [ s
3 [) ]& p5 B. u3 Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
' t( s' n, i- [5 g2 rcapital of Canada .0 B+ [, G: |5 Q5 O
i' B4 v l/ f8 C) Z7 i 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 b( b0 i1 z4 t) M. e5 E _$8.00/hour.& |9 r+ M6 N: Y0 G
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' O; _! [4 ^8 D8 a4 o3 j; L
; I2 y2 K' j* p2 g5 q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money ^* m p5 c; I# ?: l/ E, l/ b
on a 15 year holiday ?: W1 \5 _' Q) s% `" o
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 _) y0 ` q% o( T0 F0 t' e: |: _, J
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 \' l( [0 ^! r8 k S) S
* }) }6 \7 C8 T3 D K% @+ o3 |10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 d) [3 J) _: n) B
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! [- m& r% ?, x6 z
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 p/ Q, d5 i" O% [9 c1 W
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 O9 R( ?: I5 C% A" a5 N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 W. o9 l" R& v# Z6 _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 r0 N/ l6 Q1 F& l6 v( u$ ~
& m0 Q4 u, O+ ?* Y4 P* v3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 c& T P% o/ u9 {4 F8 Q' L: Y; Z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest" s. r, `7 y: m: w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' ?% G" w, B( x3 |% ^5 v( ` y0 [/ Zgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell |+ {3 C8 d$ [, x k" y# {& W
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ I( p c* Q5 V* T- l. r9 y }
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 [* a) x+ o- F- u% v, [* g
cussed out, and possibly shot.7 a5 j% z) k* W9 ]
9 N8 v6 V& G& z' _9 l0 K5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 ~ i* ]% d% ~6 ~
can get you shot.
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4 L' c: x) l9 C( ]/ X6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 r9 `. Z( p" K9 T: W+ O
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next& o1 M, a. w, B0 k9 I( Q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 q) [8 E7 M0 c: E/ R! Z. x. n0 Dmore construction starts everyday.8 B. }6 V3 y0 ]
3 J h3 v2 e$ c8 C2 \ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 ?: s& `. t' `6 M. B
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,+ H' w7 `9 K& A% y
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 K3 G8 d" n2 n
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
2 m- p& `- z" d. m; d* S$ ithe same road.
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. Q1 ~. V7 b* J3 `1 H3 u- h k9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 z8 D4 I( y" cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 c, h5 X- C% L
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. U+ B( N9 ^0 s1 j9 C( ]zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": U7 \. O4 r0 j2 `$ H; Z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* Y: o0 c' A5 z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and: P; |% h+ b/ `, ?" Z! g3 S
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 g& h1 J( ]9 m/ q% tvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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