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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.) i1 n w7 q- x; \, j5 e
9 \5 f8 Q1 [- z7 R* E 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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* \9 ]; T! d5 L" U4 m 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ ^6 l! A$ V: y+ x3 b6 p9 T
capital of Canada .8 y, V9 h2 p4 H
C3 J- V0 J( A( |. h" C) q& _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- P4 x1 Z, `# Q( a) F g U: `9 tcapital of Canada .6 \& |" B! u$ Y& e+ s2 W; s
& E X# p0 ^7 |1 Y. M0 x 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 m! }) X! v4 P
$8.00/hour.. Y2 \6 ]% H4 C5 j6 H& F! e
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& b4 r% |5 _0 l. g" U* n9 n
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money( p: u0 \4 V9 f) D/ M+ V& k
on a 15 year holiday ?
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8 ^* o) ]. m8 @! |% j 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 X) G n+ D) B# W# Y+ E% Eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)- x, H. }2 a2 i% ]
5 @/ ~ p0 @6 N# L: v7 _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
. t; e* B2 x5 i. @! J; O* j3 rhere sick.( G9 s. m0 R |( y, E! [
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" K% ~; }& f- ~) nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : e' f; `" b2 K1 e7 I. A
7 R) q/ X. \6 u2 j# ]! D# [, ~* J- H# V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 t, `) m* `+ W# T
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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# j/ ~* G) b+ f. m0 w3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 w, | ]& _; J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, ]1 p8 t: W0 k( C2 e7 q% `
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) h3 B6 @* M1 L+ P7 C' g* Q) ^; Jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! g: u$ [% n4 a" Z. i; g% }phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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. }& ~) U" A& @9 c) I7 E0 N7 E4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ P8 |5 N+ G/ d' C) R5 V* L
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 [" g% a" M+ W
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* S p$ }4 _8 A) u3 K+ p
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next n: m8 H* N5 Q0 J5 T. x
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and9 r' N$ G5 F) G
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 q9 o) v4 y( d2 R: Y# m6 A7 Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ R: A+ I' F# N+ A9 l. asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. x2 m+ `1 m, H
- n% K" y% [% r' f# U8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- @6 N4 x4 E4 J$ }the same road.
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0 m! R) [3 b4 J0 o5 k- n: _) W% T9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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4 g( v: D# d5 [/ @3 \10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km' a/ ?( C1 l# r. u# {& q7 b* M
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( N; w4 W6 _5 n2 y! {
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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; p- L- A; e: P2 H% K8 v0 ^4 z. h11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- k0 Z; Y4 p3 p, L) ]lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) M2 t& b$ p; F' f7 g
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" j- {# \+ {, D1 Q# M& Dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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