 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( _. h5 v1 O \ U2 y9 D5 }4 }
% A# w1 b3 G- m6 A' X9 P
: F2 c) A* b4 n) M! m$ a4 j2 n5 ]+ }/ \% O) n6 s
1. Bring your own house.
) i6 K$ p# R) d8 J5 y/ _- f' `9 e; `/ w3 }
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 W3 N. ^! W5 x8 j9 i" t) Y- Ghospital.. ]2 }. o* y B' t' [8 p
1 k7 E* A' n8 B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder! a; Q* d9 n& ?2 P7 a% \
capital of Canada .. E9 A$ `+ i# _! v- n
4 w; R/ j/ M3 v1 q' s6 A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
9 `4 h" w6 t' H" `% L7 B# \0 }: ^, a
/ B+ a/ `5 P! i+ ?. @ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 c& X r( q. b2 pcapital of Canada .
4 P) o/ Z* D% J0 s/ R3 z5 z
. v7 n: d4 j N7 W* S( C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) {% n- R, c7 r0 M/ P$8.00/hour., u% w* P, @6 u1 @. f% [1 m
: `- s4 v0 ^6 D/ |% w* I 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
; l6 q/ S+ e* F9 N0 q
5 a$ x- o* ~; |1 t+ T( J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money3 H6 r6 _3 t9 [7 H
on a 15 year holiday ?
. k7 s/ w0 ?1 q9 L4 N8 q/ {8 k* L
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 Q6 E1 @ G4 S
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! ~4 b/ a2 @) I O
. j7 J Y- Q2 ]# t4 T# g% ]: R% A10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( Y0 x: h4 i7 c& ]& P6 d6 d ihere sick.
, B( F. A$ f+ c# z( n; Z# g, s2 r, U0 c* d+ ~ j7 s1 n
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 s, I) @8 a0 y- cyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 ^) [4 ~1 p9 U5 _+ V( {
9 _% W9 [4 `6 P; {3 V5 o$ n2 x9 h; h* p
: |/ ^+ x3 _+ \: I5 y
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
* }: M% ~7 n! r* V
5 k* u# n7 U: y: i! l: b) q; g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
* P" @. q$ X9 p2 R7 ~7 @1 f( P+ U4 F* [8 C0 N
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 j5 ^, r( H! g+ S
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( V% s2 z6 l& z% N7 C6 b1 z
6 f8 d0 f, j4 x% l1 i5 L5 c f% [
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 C; K9 p0 Z2 t7 R P0 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 U# ?7 ?2 K/ k7 b9 u3 a3 U, d) J! B3 gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 q9 k0 x0 J" o, v. ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, o( t } [, X i$ _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.1 P b$ }. [" s, s$ p' {, }
! X$ ` Z) y$ p6 [
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) m% E3 t( h# B% e4 s& J
cussed out, and possibly shot.
' m- W& T2 w# o- V* w) D5 u% `- U
( ]% n6 L. x' c1 _# Z7 v5 O5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' Z! x7 P- ]4 J) G: d _1 ^
can get you shot.
- F% w8 e' F1 ~ Q! @6 i! E# |) J6 g0 T' |) x7 L' u
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
E( @& k1 |5 I4 x) e) R( x, ?6 Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 g/ E) {7 n4 R' v( P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% d6 S; d4 I2 r/ X% D2 [more construction starts everyday.
1 c y7 D7 n- ^. z w$ F4 ?" ^5 g* j0 {% ~+ [) k. _
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,, x( p% e, ^& f% i o
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 Z2 x* \& {* W% n- E
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
3 `- C+ a: N! r& M$ ?' m Y. g$ R& v2 o% w, M. |4 _* A, \ i
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: Q* Y; G; V2 @9 D8 O7 y
the same road.
& O6 [7 @7 \& G s
% _2 a9 Q% P; t9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) q7 }" O3 I, L/ U$ D
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
2 C% F9 i& X8 G' K) @5 Xactivated."% K* _ k G8 h: i1 {4 J' ?" Z4 I
/ S" w, F2 l* \. B* d* [) l
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" d9 p6 l# l G1 F; ]3 Ezone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 |/ l7 j7 l9 D; {; `1 Z! u7 J' D4 S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
( H) {3 x5 i- ~$ H% T/ {5 a, u, p' V; X7 V, W
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 ^ j2 G- p. ?/ G- A9 Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% Y- z8 ^7 `- E1 k
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) k! v0 ~5 m8 C9 Y% F6 q9 {# Lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
