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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' T5 e; u- n' v% ?0 S- l
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, k* B* ]- m& \2 F9 ~7 E, f 1. Bring your own house.
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6 |8 p7 L, F1 z; y$ U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ N9 R1 S4 G; x( d" o" {
hospital.: C' r5 v$ f+ K6 L/ S
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) s! z, }# @8 R5 j) O$ g
capital of Canada ., r4 I/ f" o& {3 e7 H2 J! t. @
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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" T; l" ]' }5 W( O K! _! I; ~1 { 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 V* s% ^' S L1 ^capital of Canada .+ B6 ^/ X) }+ u/ _
, K) I g+ i" _6 [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 C7 c+ o. a/ L8 L* ?. [2 g; W$8.00/hour.$ U7 O& o+ ]4 H6 \2 x$ o6 `# F( d
& B l# {- A0 O. i8 b 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% g1 d/ [6 [0 F/ O: X& w
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
' r' c9 f8 V- \2 Y* y, \! m: Won a 15 year holiday ?( K& m3 ?. K& ^/ n
; l' @' r" B* a* s, S. [* F3 } 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
o$ L1 c/ L7 l* t$ \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# I) A0 D# A9 X/ P" z1 t' M( X
* u: i5 R1 t ^8 [10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
8 v. l; f3 P8 ohere sick.. b. G$ H- a1 s+ }
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" x& Z( ?/ u7 }" B% ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ m/ {' t y" h+ L8 ]1 f A) N THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :; b# Y+ u8 a' b2 d& a
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* i8 r$ P1 {( L3 p' m. K/ T$ _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
, x- u) }1 K5 Uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning., F, s4 L+ p7 E, l
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 m) D5 j* t# y7 I6 J) @
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# F/ s% a& F; U F& ]+ d9 U
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* E9 l6 }7 s7 Z/ T& J" k$ A0 _go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# X1 w% p/ Q8 ?- hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' I# r2 T; d! D0 p. i$ K: i i' \cussed out, and possibly shot.
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/ E4 i& L" f7 ~8 H5 q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 E& h! z, C$ R, Y
can get you shot.) R& u1 }" f) Y) r
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: H/ Z6 z# P; C! B: _8 ?3 X
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next" x V9 z6 _# o# p0 P. y* m$ I
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 a; }, ^, Y* V$ y% I* Q8 f* Emore construction starts everyday.! u' N% }. s3 P1 B
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 N0 L, t# E/ \- u/ p0 ]/ d9 m6 c+ fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 o5 o3 f& i( R* X+ Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ }( o" Z) I9 L2 _
- I" s# T. E: l% b8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 p9 L3 F' z% ^5 N# z9 a6 i
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ D2 [8 P+ v1 @( Xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; M8 J) k2 _: { u
activated."& g+ R1 N5 c* g: {/ c% x
; T9 f$ i! p. u9 x$ a8 e6 N a' w10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- X; F& b, }& s# c
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 }- E0 Z. e+ M( \# e: O: Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( V* ^, P/ l- k0 j/ h/ A; Rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% X) B7 |, G7 L8 p+ b6 tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
8 r) b( C* }4 ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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