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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( x9 P! h6 B7 L% b2 [1 L5 E
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% b0 T: ^) B6 E 1. Bring your own house.0 T6 V, G% M% v9 t
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and: F, ?9 O7 ~; P9 _' q( m0 B& L" K
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder4 G5 s {1 v6 H/ Z
capital of Canada .. I& c* \9 ?" E
( k- V% G2 W- k `+ S( B7 A 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* P3 p$ O1 l" L/ T/ L
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
* h7 ~) G# i2 M6 ^1 b; ^ Mcapital of Canada .) s6 `: l2 S; x( A
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 a+ f# `6 t" ~- Z+ u7 o* I5 ~$8.00/hour.
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" i- d/ W6 |4 h 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% y S1 d6 I$ Q# L, n4 G; Z
on a 15 year holiday ?
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+ l+ z/ W% p9 }4 `- W5 J 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 r, h* R$ [% ]: dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" y7 n2 e, y# }
9 Y' E c3 g; a* l2 |; N10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come r* o1 G! ~3 D. A
here sick.' b! ^; _3 T8 j9 _/ a$ D
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 W8 g/ q4 d& }: v6 M; B; C
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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. v1 l6 o( e. a/ ?& H THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".3 {% e I2 x8 ?; L+ b& C
" d) f& d8 U6 F, ]- u0 C! Y( g3 F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour7 a# A3 N. d r6 J6 X* S) A
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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5 s. U$ \/ W! a) h V& |3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) Y0 {; s+ ?* l: k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# Y/ V7 n" v: j4 I9 D! Mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 p$ w/ O- x1 F+ E/ _8 ~
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell; {; J- ]; k: u( O! I J$ `8 u% ~
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," F9 P% |- _2 X* n
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
8 p" r8 Q7 |, ?can get you shot.. Q$ v5 x4 D @0 m4 [- f
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour& J# d+ }! W3 C1 K
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% y0 M# j+ d; w* Wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, `0 \- C. Q& X9 }
more construction starts everyday.
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( t9 Q( @1 Y& ~8 T 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 L+ i% v: h: @3 H$ D6 B1 Sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 m7 [- R+ I4 ~; F8 ~
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., p: B; i: o# o o9 \1 e0 w
' a S2 P2 k4 C9 z5 B: T7 b7 w8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 p" {/ ?2 g, S# k: }: _3 n8 e
the same road.
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6 ?6 Z; d- _( {" s# P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! S) n0 @' b" n* w/ Q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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% \6 C3 j8 o3 \0 n( u* J5 H10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
6 j: }- l( u- v' _zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" n, x* }: q, }) U7 D8 O: Y
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. ~ t$ E4 g7 P# w# t
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 v# b. y' w4 {+ t
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# L, G& Q; x8 D3 Y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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