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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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+ Q0 \# L. E: c: Q! `9 ?+ B 1. Bring your own house." b4 r# Q+ I8 m, O3 C9 ~% R
0 k+ t" [1 z8 Y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! G) ^+ E3 o& E% m; v
hospital.# F3 M6 S( Y, F- V e
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ P, M3 |. H y9 J; u
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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1 j$ S+ a, \* _) W s, s/ g6 h 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" ?, {: Q0 A( D9 R) u8 R* n% w8 n7 z
capital of Canada .
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* Y: k2 D [2 v6 L+ [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: p3 @% ^. | E( Z# N# Z$8.00/hour.3 r$ j0 c9 [* o2 J, U
# d. M$ Q+ W4 N; g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 u: r' d2 P6 x/ ?, U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! Q! o, d5 r5 w' `+ y+ j4 m
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 l7 e8 b8 D; D/ l, f3 U) ]6 @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! B/ q6 H3 W+ p$ J
9 V5 o# D* ]9 T& y8 c+ t" ?) |10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come. V) W W- p: m7 q, X9 ]$ B
here sick.
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1 `8 E0 p7 _3 y: t. }11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12- V5 L6 ~( m% `5 N5 j( U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : R( d, d R' ]! m% c
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& s6 h, H/ U( C, z
$ F8 a J+ Q. p4 h, o! V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 X' R3 v/ L( m4 a
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 X( U! o6 V) Q9 F
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# C0 F( o' _% W! z6 `% i# D
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* b; T. j5 [, J6 f4 B, ?6 B. ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell$ w" u+ ~. q6 T$ L, {* ~
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 r$ O: w! V, Y8 \5 i- {cussed out, and possibly shot.
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8 l. K6 Z* l5 _! H" q. a0 S3 R5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( Y# g+ F# C% ]. g) [9 ]
can get you shot., m1 e% K& ?9 g1 f9 g0 {0 N
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' F: x2 B% g g4 e& Q6 k( Fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: M# a: H. X; Q. K& B
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( J5 Z' [+ Y4 [1 O' }
more construction starts everyday.
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3 o: ?2 B4 a. s; j 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 f5 q; _3 w. V- ^. J! \$ K" h: M
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& q( `- h- L# n0 ?4 }squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( V2 T& N8 W" O
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
" J! e: @; U% e6 G* C; s# n' ithe same road.6 a# N1 C6 u. x, G
8 l. G: L1 G7 w+ Y' d, Q3 N" @. O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the @3 M4 u( N* |% d6 M! C* _" Y
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. x9 s6 M0 g% W; T3 S! r! rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ p( k2 K# ~& {accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# q1 a+ E, X b/ z+ B. S1 h
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# L3 H8 @3 K/ A( H G% ^0 _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; l- z* \0 ~5 Ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. t/ J0 p. u6 F0 A7 T3 zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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