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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( m& c' D' z& A4 Y b
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1. Bring your own house.
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$ F9 X8 g C$ {% _1 b0 k+ s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( F- I7 U! A( G9 s& d7 p3 X
hospital.1 y" ?- F3 b) X9 w& K; B
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 Y5 p: h* u5 @capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., Y2 X! O" b5 o9 X
. N7 b4 r6 \' Y! v# }% V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) C$ ]% ^$ t# }$ p
capital of Canada .
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$ ?5 u$ I% Z& B. C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
% ]7 t" m5 L# k& H& F$8.00/hour., u1 c! \+ V% Z7 b6 t$ b
0 A. R" `: G& D( t z. A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
% R% v5 Y' C) R9 \! s# Qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' S$ c( K. ]& Y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), z% v; h) _+ F; L! C+ A
: ~: Q* ]8 M( l3 j, r10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 `' P7 m4 P8 A/ u6 W2 J
here sick.4 \" D9 k2 c7 y2 V% ?
8 b* P) H7 ]7 K- g' R/ [0 z8 ^6 A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 R. p/ l3 Z/ X+ E. i- c% g
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., f9 C( L9 x$ Q& ]& Y
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0 P3 I! ?' W# P: r/ Q THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
% H1 O5 c; T3 ?4 u5 {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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6 @) [% {, G, j- `5 [3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 _: j2 J8 {! h/ `; wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( d( l! b/ H; z5 x/ g4 C6 r1 imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 U5 a, m) k' D# L. h0 ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 o6 e: g2 g0 j$ Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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! ^" t h1 {$ N6 f$ u0 A4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# Z, Z) I5 @: h( n
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( R0 p+ R; S7 B- d x3 ncan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% e* Q* k1 f @+ c v9 P F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 v" U( M0 P. d) F+ ]6 i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 o4 Z+ Z% v: v; n1 p: o) Y( c
more construction starts everyday.2 Q" y( P/ }9 b0 s
+ T0 @/ I& {& Q) ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 p4 r4 a3 e& ], [deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
p, H' u, ?; F& Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. i' t4 w8 v0 Q n( H9 D- E
the same road.
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6 i* _6 l( x# m; t9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. F8 C' m7 b" a; e* S2 Zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* E: z$ N3 k' G* ~5 S( d
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% ]+ r- b. w4 O# X" E. I& wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" p0 I0 d5 H& V- Y$ I/ `: D
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! t4 x6 D( Z$ ^$ _: z0 b' L% j7 W
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. z! @7 B; V% M$ d0 M- a, F
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and5 j4 ?. R4 P9 }8 P n$ P7 }
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- k- e" U5 i* l: W
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
