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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, w; M+ O. o- F+ Z# @% I
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1. Bring your own house.
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0 ?9 {/ E& d# B7 L2 j. j- J 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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% t( o3 h# K/ L; T2 w; z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 O3 `6 c- y. l- ~7 i
capital of Canada .
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& f9 e: V6 x. X; @, q+ a8 k 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug2 d' f5 }7 b6 j3 s7 y" n. I
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 P/ |0 s6 N' b, F' |$8.00/hour.
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/ G6 A( B$ d3 B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 [+ t( R4 Q. W- j) M% _
on a 15 year holiday ?/ x) ^8 ~( i, ]3 X; g6 m
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' a- G9 x6 p$ x5 }5 P3 pprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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" D' E) q) ?; a/ b8 F" s+ f10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, ` ^1 H& f9 ]' E( X7 Y9 K7 @8 N
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., f' i3 E9 ~2 m1 N1 S
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5 _- D3 L1 d, G# x+ R THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 L4 G. q1 a- O$ w& i4 ~' U
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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/ c& m5 y4 W; W! Q/ Z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: C2 e6 t9 F8 i* q; Eis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 [9 E2 v- O' z4 |
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 Y4 F4 j# [8 s& c1 B2 q3 Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- c- \. K; _+ P4 P! J! o' a
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 s0 U' _4 @1 F8 B+ x/ R* Wgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 I5 y( ~9 ?0 Y( f* K. ]* V; Ophone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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* S% W9 C5 O0 E" A$ q; A% {; Z$ D4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 |) ?. q! l% {cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 j/ t& O( a" i- K
can get you shot.# q& E, R. F. o7 q) n9 @
+ h, n/ d- [) W( C6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour1 [" w" n2 S$ |& ]
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 I" K( V/ H9 n' x$ G' qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# l" X/ l% U/ D+ C; W+ c# t, F- {more construction starts everyday.0 F+ M# A* K! q9 O$ \
' A/ s0 w( y6 X+ |* b' G. T- g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,: R$ X, J& ~/ c# k) B/ W) L
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 t4 ]' ]; G; ^5 K
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- c/ R* ~% K: g/ n4 Y' I. z
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all, O' ? @' H6 Q' ^' U, ~4 z, L
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 d! y! P0 h% x' j" A" D' mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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5 q" {& w: z! A1 K: K9 N10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 H" |! `* ^, F/ I/ {) n" B4 ?6 ^zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( T; K* @! Q. B+ s) V" {
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 c2 ]: G" P5 ^+ ~( a$ Z( o
9 a7 X( g: a* @* a r( K3 F: Z# y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( E( K) w' c( N+ T1 Y* J. d
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ i( V! b+ `+ O: \
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 q6 U" l. I8 d1 x" j# n, T; svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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