送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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6 i  c; K/ s" k* W! B# l/ R5 B# w+ S 1. Bring your own house.
. N+ W3 U6 o) _  c! _
8 P4 O3 b$ c; p 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
+ W  N+ z8 Q* @) Ghospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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  J( u, q# V7 [6 s( A  V  `0 S 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
7 _4 S1 b* h! S+ D8 B4 {; Fcapital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ x+ z9 s! s: T- z* p. \; _$8.00/hour.

0 G( u$ H4 m) U, Q3 ^, s 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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, t. f5 E1 a( ?% b) K6 s( v( N9 c 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, E4 }+ z, I0 _  U5 p8 Von a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
  @8 W/ R- N. e+ d, @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

/ s, g( p$ I# X- g' u; g! J  u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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" Q  U0 ^( j6 q. Q% X  T/ _( p11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

& Z3 w' [2 I) C* _1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

1 M1 p! L7 [* h4 i& E. p1 N" J5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! Q( F! O; x; J9 m9 R8 wmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 m7 N; u% @% n( J1 F4 i( r; Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 p& P4 }0 R9 T/ F7 E  h- S' J/ |8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. F4 N6 q9 n% a% F) Zthe same road.

, j# M& A3 n1 V) W8 Y9 T0 O# |  E9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) Q9 H- a% t* b) Yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
" a  r! R# H# k2 I% Uactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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  ^9 R8 B4 z2 Y11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ z' G: l6 j& {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 s; }. m6 _* Iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* w4 h1 s" `) t: [# g; ^virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

5 P7 o" x& V" x- [& f有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% ]8 s% C% `; t& o9 D满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
) `; }# m  n- a+ h' x有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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5 h. X& E4 J7 Z9 ~/ c此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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$ x5 x$ d$ O; ^. ?. x0 p[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


5 D) m2 k$ Z( ^: ^8 }& `' T/ r 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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7 B* }: y# g7 b. o这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
  H; \% }2 Q7 b7 C/ C朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

0 N3 Q, m$ A4 e3 L你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.