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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 S; X5 K: d! [" V( x
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. }6 R9 u5 i$ L! _' i& r
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# |+ {4 n. G! ?1 l/ ~8 W6 ccapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. h% r5 d7 F9 c, W% R7 E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ m% o4 ]8 P& ?3 p; I8 y7 h
$8.00/hour.- X8 o1 T0 D+ o, C- ]
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. x3 s/ l6 }' n
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
; i2 R5 g' p; s7 aon a 15 year holiday ?
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5 Y1 W4 [+ Z5 h2 v, d' Y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
W6 a8 g9 }' Zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, p2 T2 E. B% r$ Myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., V4 R$ R( X& Y! L4 ~+ J# P
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5 c! ^; w7 d' K1 Z- f1 r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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" W) M( V( \3 N% E4 v1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".! j1 U. Q' ?( U, W8 e" |
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 }3 V, e, A( ~) M+ gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ Q; ?) ~0 K5 A0 n3 s& f8 ~1 q
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# g$ H3 g. ~1 [; g0 ]7 imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( i, c) N: a# h2 Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 g! w: A" k8 F; g" n8 Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ }7 h- e6 O" C2 d
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ ^) u0 u7 C5 n" u4 o
cussed out, and possibly shot.! A' \/ I/ l, r8 i3 A/ n
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, c+ j! ~/ ^0 g, O. W# b( f" O
can get you shot.
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1 \4 c3 v- e2 e# m/ W" ]* m6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
: A& `5 [5 ?% B1 O6 zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ ?4 X8 k+ m# O7 G) V6 p9 L
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 I# D8 J, j K9 A9 H fmore construction starts everyday.
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2 Q+ x5 U1 A0 @8 Y8 s 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, y4 _; ]- X/ N/ H; F: R
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 m* @. e8 U& C" \" Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 y& C; D2 P B4 E2 c& T% G
! b/ p! {0 [( T5 A8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 r0 s8 L! n3 y* ]" ]the same road.
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) f1 ^. B. F. b$ G z( {3 J. w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' X0 E# ~+ s: A, Q( \7 d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 @& R& u) I9 {3 w
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 Y, C3 v+ \6 c! `! Z+ X) P
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) W2 z5 v* I: l/ ^4 nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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