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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA9 t# \+ x* q- m) L" \
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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% O2 n9 j9 o. |) s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ l7 \6 W' d0 w" h, n
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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! _( J% c) `4 Y( I0 M( ^ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 w- i! w; D' F6 e! v) G/ O a: F/ o
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 K p' F! M. k
$8.00/hour." @9 }2 X9 `+ I$ _9 x9 f; {7 ?
1 T0 e: I; K* L 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 ~3 h" o6 p0 R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! f- [9 z, v, c! Y$ }) w8 ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 }8 v: b- w' {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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4 k- `+ s. I$ s! Y( r2 d2 r11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 O6 x% _; u4 C: F; i0 c. N7 @! N
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# p c/ g" c7 k2 w' i/ ^) e& w
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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. z& L! }, g5 N6 r/ d1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- z$ D' Q, M) @/ O3 B; W
9 J; G: m" ]' |2 h2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 A) P4 W! Z7 z" v- Lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% u; X5 D+ v1 m6 t
. H9 ]: \4 K5 Y, o1 _8 C& i- N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) d3 T2 d% m, _* c( Gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ F7 L, f2 @- T; F' s" Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 P5 _0 b, z0 Z" E) [8 q ^6 ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( |: \- z3 A5 _4 v5 [" x# j- ?( m
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( t. M/ s& C9 r4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,3 W% E7 w5 p$ t* Y
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ N: W3 }/ D0 p& S# l! B4 Pcan get you shot.
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7 W/ |: t9 h" }3 y6 k6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 _$ J; C6 Q& [0 }
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 B3 J4 M# e2 s0 O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 ?) J A4 h: W; [, W
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; a% Q W9 t% }$ _. O% P
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- d& Y/ `" d/ [( b2 k) rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 y5 O1 K' \6 y$ \+ s# w
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all8 D/ B/ R& b- V
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."* G) x: V- z/ n+ r$ I! ^$ y( ?) Z3 Q
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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4 W3 R$ A; \1 ^( Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 ^; N4 m- s5 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ h5 }. m8 Q/ e' hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- z9 e8 E5 ?% f' J1 yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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