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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* c# U. r9 m, d: f' F; G$ Y. c
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1. Bring your own house.1 C! c A G. S* m( V8 |
! x' e, N7 W( I2 H1 V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 P4 d# n5 x* \hospital.
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! w3 c- L! K( [3 C* K B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 N/ R8 ]4 d: _4 t) g8 Y) Mcapital of Canada ./ e( Y5 U0 B8 R8 W! i
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .8 z0 E& i" A% U! X
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug! [% M) x; Q, L9 ]5 a8 E. V
capital of Canada .
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7 X# e- V( Z( g/ w% n 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
% H' e z5 J+ j) j* T1 I- j9 R$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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& G1 d; R: d: r6 l" ] 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 g( L( U; @2 _; {. z
on a 15 year holiday ?: P R( ?2 l, k8 q0 T) D# F4 f. j8 i1 F
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# T3 R' d! V- W. ~prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ x7 d: `# F7 L; Q6 W
% o) G& x0 {& K! F$ Z) x& ~10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ a6 Y9 b$ s( ]: l6 l" xhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 ~' x, S/ a7 K/ pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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3 ]; b L: H- c @ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 W+ A) q& H( E& M* ~8 F2 s) z
- Z+ M' H& K6 J- \0 x1 q1 u; A# f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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! b! N( d$ e8 ?9 b0 d( A, S2 N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 f H# B6 n: I. B, x' G" G. @is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 e A" B# n" f, `# I" R& ^5 A
8 \* V7 g* q. s& O( c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* ], a0 j$ ~ r. ~. t4 T. z8 `) J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ A7 c) N3 k! P$ i# D8 U N" N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 P2 I1 `; Z% E( u- H% W9 m
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! S6 o# q) x' }. \) l, Y$ L* `1 L+ o
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 J+ y L8 q5 y+ D
6 B8 |4 w p" T1 \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' }- H5 r2 ^3 B+ V
cussed out, and possibly shot.& @( i9 w7 E9 b' _ p# W; b" N
3 X: W ^, t& u& G. q7 e# n6 k2 n5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that. Z( T- S! A: v
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ f- {2 {! h8 ?3 kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ _9 ]% `% W" _+ P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 O6 l' K% i$ g6 B3 e6 bmore construction starts everyday.9 b5 [& m+ C( v% o8 k7 n
V v- x `3 E2 J1 P2 t; K 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) p2 F2 w! e8 q- b. P( E) {
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,! a# q0 I$ P |, ]
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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/ r+ N9 f5 ?- `3 h9 t9 G8 E7 K5 \8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 N7 v4 r1 W5 v; m. vthe same road.
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1 V4 U) Q& s4 [+ C6 G9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
! q9 M V q1 o& X! o, mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) V) B/ x1 s1 V. H3 f( D
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* g! B7 ~2 C4 m2 v; o4 F3 i" H
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"' D* C' ]$ f7 ]$ e, V& Z g* v
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( E/ u; k3 k/ d7 S' c! Elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! B% O1 T# J7 J0 s' q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ s+ @( B' g' v6 N/ c- r
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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