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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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! m" }8 U; U3 a5 Z 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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8 E9 L6 L% O- l) j( q, @ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# ~: a& P* @2 \/ t+ Wcapital of Canada .2 |2 s7 A4 T$ y3 }( D. W; L5 U \% t
& @ j6 z% n- j/ [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 u. g0 H8 V! n5 t$ R
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# a, r7 K: G2 {" q; V
capital of Canada ./ K* H5 M" ?: c2 ?) _! A
4 A6 q# a; ~; Q# ~3 ~( `# K 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is$ o# I& u4 `. {# r/ q2 b/ Y
$8.00/hour.
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% R1 P2 U7 _) h% n* R8 x6 F! w& f 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money- D7 }# I+ y5 t
on a 15 year holiday ?- w8 c5 E; z7 P$ C+ l0 r& R+ b" K
% G" ^; z4 O: E; ] 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 N! M9 e) I$ t) Aprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ t: U) `6 d; W$ R2 e
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come( g+ B% j' _: l6 B5 m
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, a/ @) J" i7 m }4 J" z6 ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. t, U' G& ]* Y* O
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( x D, p5 H/ m' P& m THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 B/ S) `5 r7 @1 r$ `# y
8 o5 e: d# P* D1 t7 l* [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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7 N* u1 @0 F/ u0 Q. u& D3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" f% k( C5 Z$ pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( J: g& b# x. ?4 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% a( k* S( x( e" C' i; x% Fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 A h" A5 ~! dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.. o8 F5 s3 W G8 {0 x% e- t3 }2 ?: \& k
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& t. O" V" M X5 Z
cussed out, and possibly shot.2 j% B: N1 @# Z% H, G9 p
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ n b0 k, o- |3 `/ Ucan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
* [7 h( A0 T' L! e0 Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! R7 o& y9 A7 U6 l' A) i! R9 T
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 C3 t( @% Z; Z$ r7 gmore construction starts everyday.+ X+ b7 R$ E t5 I
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,. G( _, i% F9 m& r5 e5 \: O o7 g
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 G+ T- D4 ]( g4 ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 s7 u/ z/ d+ C* t9 S3 L W
@# a# ^! R7 {0 R }! X" P# b6 b8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 T2 x8 y1 m l( G. H" x
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( f2 f( Q2 j- L- {- Q; `accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.- b4 e7 X. T& w+ ~! Q% d# X
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ u% G v/ ]0 r2 \5 e3 ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 G/ y; J# |+ B' h# Z$ K
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is; g0 u0 L. A( a; L; T. L3 \
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
