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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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& r6 Z4 p' s- ?( F: m6 J 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 R% C+ a7 ]0 [ T
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 H! ]1 Q3 L: F' T! @' J! Rcapital of Canada .. {7 K; k& ]/ R" e
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& ?) |" e, p% r- y5 |0 P' G- c0 h
' }4 L& L" N- `3 h. ]4 z5 i+ S 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) c6 H8 @0 Q( l) Q
capital of Canada .& w* Q: C" _! i* ~2 t
5 C+ N; x2 q5 ?7 B9 y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ O7 v z1 H P
$8.00/hour.- j2 F& x/ {9 S0 w3 u" v' R4 J r
6 t5 C1 |1 B: f% N( z9 {4 i" R 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& k) {( p' k8 v v
2 Z" ?6 V% A: f i; G 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* @# H0 T, M7 s. w5 Lon a 15 year holiday ?2 G4 T7 D/ u W0 @9 M& a' k9 R
' x2 {& E; w0 c; c6 c8 v0 o! b2 C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 Q \; J! X1 a# m9 nprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 c( j8 b1 g' E5 b- r4 Y% m
" J2 i+ B7 m# W* _10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 }2 U* c( e" ?& z; j' J
here sick.0 i6 y8 |! }5 ^ A( }6 C! O
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
1 |4 L3 T, d9 e8 Eyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! z: s/ V# Y% [2 X6 F
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0 s3 `4 q- F/ p8 i" I THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 j' l6 A' U& U) U- O
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".& a+ [& ]. [7 F+ t: _
; e2 O" d# r6 X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 `* M% o) A, a. y2 X+ Uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.0 Z: E) Q/ H8 c% i4 m$ N% t
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 X( V0 e: G' C' M* F& F; H
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 T8 A9 u2 P4 k n9 e7 \muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 ?' c0 n* H" A8 I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
6 O/ C" D6 J5 ^0 k! q) G& \5 Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ n' S6 A9 ?4 V( @, X" n( L4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) M$ \; b, A2 Z) a& b3 ~) @cussed out, and possibly shot.8 q# H9 c: Z7 I
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that: h+ V8 |3 L; N* J4 i) G7 n- S) Z
can get you shot.3 B; {: v6 r. h1 V. B; w2 T
5 _+ }2 q c! n/ c; M" i7 n6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 n q% H1 K, z* Fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' |4 X# K+ b' j Gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' D2 b* u+ }+ v9 s5 u4 M$ G
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,( b4 }! k1 d+ h, ?; w
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& y) N# G: U3 ?; ?8 qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- v2 [, t8 N: C9 U
1 B/ _: [. v7 j) B+ `/ {) f8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, a- t/ j" ?+ q5 y. Ythe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 K& S& V. m& V) D: s$ ?. S0 Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally. f! A1 K1 x' M) g5 R' P$ l
activated.": k- o9 J% {9 K; l% R/ x
( W: {# f* ^9 f, e10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* N7 h e$ P: Uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"; y6 s6 K2 F: i5 t1 n
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% z7 v' J1 R, N5 q) a+ F, D/ F11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! I; L4 F/ _ d, W b6 plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% V( M( a1 e7 s. s0 q# w
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# k- x h6 t7 a1 E/ \! ]virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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