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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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8 u0 w3 g1 ]: m; X6 @: P) \ 1. Bring your own house.- X3 D* K/ u" \& [+ \) U6 d
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% N9 C' e3 q* y
hospital.& ]+ A) q2 T' Y6 V# {6 O! Z
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% s$ ]! c n& n: ~7 t6 Y
capital of Canada .0 c) ]) z: I3 M9 _# q& C/ h; l x
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 x2 ?* A( y; h5 ]# Y4 U
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug v, m" E8 T. w5 p
capital of Canada .( `: {. U# B8 f0 w. L
2 [: Y) G- c1 W& Q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is# F& g" Y$ {7 Y) A7 i
$8.00/hour.
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* }5 i: v. C2 s 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 W- A w9 L. j U% G8 ^% E5 hon a 15 year holiday ?
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/ O; q* }' ~9 W 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) I0 |" y, u% C+ Z& q7 F: E, J a& c
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 l+ L! h: ]' H6 E
$ r8 Y% d' y7 R% c' y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 Z& H. I" A7 Z0 k/ s0 ]here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ B5 J) X; ] U* ^
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' ?& m7 S" b2 R( P THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 A1 r0 v5 Z6 h" S2 T2 _. e
( |8 x# @& G Z1 u! Q* l1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. l( o& G( L; g! T, B: u2 u1 S
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* r. p* K7 [( ^4 V5 K1 x$ y" [
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: |1 M( H/ u' U1 U
+ y9 s1 `- M b3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ r" \4 m; Z n2 G! `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, @6 g# X( ?5 gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* E2 n; t: A v5 n8 ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 ` v) D% x" a: x& `phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 Q6 R6 w8 f4 O u. {4 o
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 w$ M5 I& h% A
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ Q+ o! `% {! y: O- o# u& x0 y) _* Z
can get you shot.9 r1 {2 D2 s% J! q$ r
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 `: i/ |, P, b% B/ E6 R" }barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( K$ r2 O/ c6 ]4 Y3 ?
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ B! K- C1 G% W- k `# F( E3 zmore construction starts everyday.6 i2 w `1 q* }1 x
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( `" ?. A" e L! _( q8 Ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' g2 m0 G- G9 Y5 K) ^9 H1 `- h; ]squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& M5 t5 k$ h4 N9 g
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. b) T+ k8 H8 K5 `! j
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 X: |0 ^& |: _' C! D \5 ^
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally7 h( z0 b1 |$ `! ?. W6 {% u9 j
activated."1 |' g* Q$ l/ v" V, x2 Z- B
" j6 }" f1 L8 J/ E4 B, D$ B, _10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; V. P5 |/ Q) m) b; e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
& h& `% x0 h z# \. Paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: w. Y: b1 j$ O: k ?: D/ [0 E
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- {% z; d. T$ I) P* x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. g! { z; I5 X( R4 ]7 f; r Avirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
