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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 c+ J- t! F: x( X" q6 J+ [( y; n3 C
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I5 y/ _/ y' ] 1. Bring your own house.. l n6 ~4 J2 j# T8 H( ~5 @
) I, G2 h' O7 ~, V$ Z" U: Z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 q/ I# S3 s2 L2 J/ V& @' M4 J
capital of Canada .. C. K5 a* ?' c0 Z( e2 P
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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6 k' q/ j! z) X5 f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 `7 S1 {: H- W+ @$ Z y/ y
capital of Canada .8 `! l7 [/ n6 m& g* Z3 [. ^. N
( ] c) p4 n! x7 d 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! b0 a9 j. h- z& ?& @
$8.00/hour.
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0 E- U9 J* `3 l0 P1 a- M( A' p8 G 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ |6 v4 Z |: k5 d3 b5 h
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 K/ r8 q: y# t6 i5 F5 Q
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9 e7 _; v# f$ J! d2 d# c 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 y6 _- l: I* m9 `$ o" K; S
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)/ P/ w6 l- U& M
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 |, b% S7 z/ U# yhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! p4 _8 S" ?, }8 I: E M8 {
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( {, w. x- `& [4 j P8 C: Y
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/ f( ~% H( G' J" |% W: ?! G THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 }6 h, G v: C: X+ p6 w/ Q# e& T: [
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour) G6 E' |# i- f: m% U/ z
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* q2 F2 K z, h* R7 Q5 {3 h: d
7 ?# s9 y$ D' X0 ^- L3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) `0 c0 s0 k# Y9 _" y8 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
$ g6 `# e# h" l) M* Ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# x- N8 @+ Z2 {$ o" ]$ i
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 }4 O8 W& B8 u- [- I7 o- I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ S9 [5 V4 x$ D Z+ e# [4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. ]$ _" c6 n G, q. ^: ~: j
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, S" D1 T8 A2 H7 n! o' C& S2 Q
can get you shot.
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, L8 M9 e- Z7 o6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 I2 g7 I5 g/ o, v7 [% N( Fbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next7 Z3 K# W/ \: |) j8 [0 D
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
~+ ?% \; L& C4 _( r3 R# amore construction starts everyday.' y. M9 i& x. z4 {
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: C) d4 W3 O: e# O7 R6 c0 Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& V+ T& P. L0 A6 l; e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. q+ D. R7 z% e; b' q8 l. Gthe same road.
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. ~. }4 _& y" O% @% O% Q0 ^9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ q) [& w: h# S6 n* A5 M9 O
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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8 U+ C" P; K1 r8 `2 h* ]! e/ J/ m10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- v& b! o$ D: B+ A
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% L* r* N: }# waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" Y% q. n }5 k2 n* }% ^5 X; Y! r11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur& e6 Z( ]8 L' C' o6 [8 t
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 B! s# q3 @5 c5 {1 ~blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
" O' r! n& u$ ^% U" ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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