埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 2931|回复: 16

送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 Q  @9 h0 P6 ~; f
8 r& o8 a) p9 M3 A1 u
; U1 m3 g' U' q, G, |- q3 G

- f" W* V* L% `; t 1. Bring your own house.4 S0 S8 j1 l8 ?4 V4 k: \* D' ^5 Q

: y0 _2 S' J, Y; _+ j1 C: a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and5 a, y* n0 @- N/ N( G/ u
hospital.: E8 h* k% J! I4 |" i# ~! E4 ?

- r# T2 z) j$ w9 U/ u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
  h: `% C  {5 X5 ]+ Qcapital of Canada .8 s- l( z' B! i8 h) S8 {
' K& r* f: H3 u: Z5 G2 |
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. p" U1 U3 `9 h8 G$ U$ e! F

: M9 B% m, y% @- G& J; f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
% |# C% v7 D. I3 w0 Dcapital of Canada .
( R" A/ G$ Q  t: e3 m# D, H
- P- l+ t1 X; J6 p* s4 ~ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 ^- V( E$ {* Y$8.00/hour.% |4 V  K! d" b# T7 F

5 L6 i  ~# {% _; T 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
. t* v' X! D/ G. N7 \. B
% W+ r; [; `+ e: M- r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ }- U1 G. s, N$ x9 W) Ion a 15 year holiday ?9 y2 S' d- I2 p8 I) s! f: U
8 l; S' q* q. {0 U
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 |) P; ?5 }0 R# @' w# g
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
- [- N' X$ E2 S$ X$ j) E
4 J6 E  D* o9 ]- V4 I' U10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ x0 W: [, K( d; M8 v) |/ b, o0 n6 S
here sick., R" M. `5 P) l) Y

4 G$ E0 m/ r8 K, u3 B8 f( t11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12  q) _" d4 F" m+ H' A: L) H
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
2 x0 E6 e3 N' N! X9 ~% ?5 x' J7 f
7 L/ P) F4 t" m9 F4 v/ l2 i5 w% V
! D% G) f0 Y# u4 A
  y+ U" n# s+ e2 u( g) D$ m( r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
1 l4 k/ c6 \5 \/ }- W5 d5 o; u
0 r% [5 H/ Z% h. I: I4 x1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
. S4 E! |" a* C( s5 ~2 z6 r" D1 }2 h0 V/ X. x* r0 d  X0 ?7 _
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: I' ~/ C. k4 q$ L4 H  t0 a4 V
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 M) C  g) g& ^2 K  l3 R( s
! j7 K5 p2 W- _. H/ {1 c
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% X& f7 w( N' z& T) Q6 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 h0 D  E0 p/ m8 p/ V3 z6 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 L& y+ C4 V' Y* A9 Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell  Z) v  U, ?, c8 o) W5 ~9 E* V" R
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* s+ p+ @; Q- T, a
' ~5 {0 e/ F2 t5 ]7 {- Z
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) t" b1 v4 V5 Y' _" x
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 }2 b1 g$ J- ^( F

, v8 G. L. x6 L1 t) h4 b5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
* C' N& F; R7 i1 K  l& W8 Ucan get you shot., k' ?7 v: g: ^* f4 g6 Y$ V9 B
) I" d) @9 {; d% }
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, w- p! n5 ]9 rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; D' x" n" n+ }7 g3 b
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
  B$ {# B; a) j( }2 d  zmore construction starts everyday.5 z  g5 s6 H3 o  n* p2 A% f

0 {9 j% H, R' C% ?7 }! `  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 P$ r! s2 M$ kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* ~. W) i- C% L( X% X" ]! fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
% I% k7 a& k% M+ n2 v# W; B# q3 Y$ S  R9 @  o% W1 H9 Q$ b. w
8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) I7 P9 R, a& P" D) }. E. Ithe same road.8 ^! |8 ]3 Q+ \( J, l8 G

3 ?: r: Q/ Z. e  c5 ^, h9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 H8 A1 \! H1 r0 m6 J8 d+ l( q" P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
: \5 `/ H& `9 q# P* Gactivated."
( ~5 G) w! h" ?  X: K! z9 \6 V+ a+ F6 W! U( ]
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 z& y, s5 c) `4 N. n* J- o% C! N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' A9 s3 l5 r% z' i) {4 a" paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
/ G8 B: p& ~% Y7 Z
; D4 J8 `- x0 @" a- v5 M* j11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. E" u! s( d' l( A
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ r7 t  M- V# |! H0 A6 ]" u  \5 I# r) Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# z4 M7 {( l' t) W' e9 bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

! R" _* D! A. z3 y% x9 [/ ?有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(4348) 鸡蛋(18)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 l, `$ Y6 d1 S$ }, |. L% r2 h  P满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
0 T9 T8 s1 E3 u+ p4 ]有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : " Q, o3 H$ c( O

% @' d4 v8 w. ?6 N0 O此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 % I  P% m  w, a8 q

" s8 B) W% P! r( m9 G, ]
: B6 @5 N2 c9 _$ n$ o1 V0 k  J' w; P/ q+ a; }
[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" i# m4 I5 r4 c: j9 d0 m朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。. k* ^& W, o2 i
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
8 v3 a* y; y6 C" d ...
' ?1 W( F# }1 F8 B7 s# _6 L

: u4 r9 f, g8 ?6 N2 E" E 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
鲜花(3) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 + P& g5 [& L2 T) p

, |3 x! J+ q" } ; m2 }& }1 C9 v. {! p) w
说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
- c+ C7 H! \: D! Q

' f0 y' B) i/ L+ u这么刺痛你了吗?
% M# ?1 J5 t  Q1 Y: f7 u+ f + I+ y( b7 q4 w2 Q
我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ) b$ N% q& k# Y- ]+ n% F5 |5 `
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
; m5 J; [: G0 D% q' G满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
! L' L8 Z3 u1 g/ O0 X. u ...
$ g. U( ~, ]# o5 L$ M) w
你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
& f5 z2 l9 N9 a( M6 R7 x1 E2 R# u5 ]2 y; t" R; c/ M
再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
. b2 K$ `  Z, S  J8 W$ F# o
0 }1 _. i( H" A6 S7 o' B8 x
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
鲜花(158) 鸡蛋(19)
发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-3-15 18:33 , Processed in 0.182118 second(s), 39 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表