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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.8 F* }5 {9 {/ ]# ?8 l. }$ P9 o: S
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 l: t2 _& d0 \/ fcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 r% Z4 p3 D5 l) \! N: k) Y( t
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug2 [/ q$ U7 q9 E' }& S! h1 p
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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N4 a" g0 P$ w+ z6 y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 ~; J0 i1 n8 h2 V4 M- C
on a 15 year holiday ?0 {& ^- N4 q& K/ D7 r% T
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ M+ [- D1 p @) e: [" ?, b9 Mprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)7 Z5 }3 f/ {$ q7 [) o
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 I# z9 y; ]- j& ?5 g5 O
here sick.1 w; L4 V1 P, _: U+ X
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' T3 Y$ ^3 H ~& j; fyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 u5 D3 n- V) o, d/ M$ ]
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- i1 R/ h& M/ b- Z6 @
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% Q3 A9 Y5 Q% m$ T7 b
, o7 ~" Y Q' s+ s$ |) I+ g& Z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
2 U/ I! t" Z* p7 @) \ @; Iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# I5 ~0 ?; p5 R1 {0 g: p
w' E' e/ y( y4 Y" Z9 T: r3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% c! \- k5 u5 k" m" M0 r9 }own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest ]0 i1 k6 D% j- P2 I( _: C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( U9 ` k& O0 D _) tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( K4 {: |2 }. U7 l0 Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! p' Y& `: ~' u, M2 l- [2 h
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ `) z+ l4 \' J$ I6 j3 t+ \
cussed out, and possibly shot.8 w/ }. N& ^1 P9 h
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; ^% M$ v1 [0 K* L+ P
can get you shot.3 C/ u; F. @6 ~+ j# F% t* J
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- P0 c3 a6 O! V# r& g+ Ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" j/ ` U1 s4 `: M4 p, Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" F( [) a' A% m2 P' omore construction starts everyday.
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3 v" d2 X w5 D. Y0 ~ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' H, V+ |/ G6 q0 Gdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 a4 c' S. w- Q3 T* q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 d. A" i9 i n$ V
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 h- i. E( K: C4 l! U6 |$ D
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km5 k* n! `, U! p; O5 a. R
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. S- J; b2 l2 v; g- W" b( P* yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ ]/ _3 @% ^% e! ]$ G9 h
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: s$ `! ^& B1 A/ g+ H
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ Q1 l t$ J r/ @ Yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) {& w3 w6 x4 W+ K. i
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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