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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) K" m: b+ ^: T6 ~7 w: j. Z
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1. Bring your own house.& O6 A6 b; F; O! \+ H) L0 D
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 f W. o5 r' z' \- A/ pcapital of Canada .+ x) {1 E2 O) v' I. r
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
7 y6 S& V/ l9 x" w7 f* ^capital of Canada ." v; p- L& K% d! o; z k8 z: F) B
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
3 e" V8 U/ Q. B1 x( I" p$8.00/hour.0 n/ m# _- F* u
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 }7 O$ Y( G( t" F; P( o9 Z$ j
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 P x$ i6 w, k) n0 u/ A- ?" A0 B; ~on a 15 year holiday ?' m! Y' w1 [2 _2 Z6 p& o* Z; [
( ?6 K' i* u& z: I1 e 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# z- F* J1 C' ?& t7 X
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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( a5 A% p- @+ ^" w7 _6 R10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& S% s/ S. z8 T+ H! J
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
2 }3 @( m+ I$ z7 F. yyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.% |' a. X) |& j# x0 x
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% @# e q# ]- x4 y* [ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :* @3 U! O6 t% @* Q# W# }! g w
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) z" g6 p% g. k, m( n3 |
/ q( C. g$ |0 G y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' s- V' p& A" w1 V/ w$ ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 f& c+ H {' j& c5 N/ S% N/ h2 U
" o0 g( m6 l! ~5 [, P! I3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! u m: n0 c9 J6 m Kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest1 Q4 ]7 `# N1 d- _" r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
4 Q# r8 U8 l3 F8 Vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 j; D+ P7 J3 E6 f2 q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' |6 a8 v7 L0 w' I
# x/ N6 P4 u' ?# C! m1 `4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! Z3 n U% i" Q+ U& D5 f3 e
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 i* _* Y4 Q6 {
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; y8 W' k$ n2 z
can get you shot.( e( S% y5 S& o+ X( Q. W: U& o
" Z$ u( o+ V" \( P! N6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
5 L# w2 j0 A7 u: E, n% [ w# y# [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: ~& _: T+ S/ ~$ ~* ^/ uday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ _3 I2 J5 {7 o) D1 Gmore construction starts everyday.
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) }' H6 [7 b- I! F" E 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
& O q9 c9 z g) F$ zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 f! h, a! T/ k$ [' k# v
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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* H, c2 ]# G" D3 ?! |) e8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all5 H6 H9 f$ Y/ p0 q
the same road.+ s+ R8 t5 V& w- e
/ ?$ j+ \3 s/ d: Y3 J) O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% u' `0 u9 O% F" {3 D% T4 Hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ R- k* r2 s1 y" T Q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; u8 v& A5 J5 s5 aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 B `* C2 J( k2 C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 ~- a8 A0 u4 C6 K# d+ ^
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ s' w* {7 M4 ~# s
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is2 _ W+ v( ^: l0 X+ V/ D" E) T
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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