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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 |9 g- n j# o: [
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1. Bring your own house., w4 X4 b$ p3 L. ?; W* G8 P
& ?. Q$ L( S0 O7 }4 C 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 O G: f6 D4 B: P
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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, X" C. s! k+ z9 C% M e0 L0 ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 ^( d( ?7 C& v9 e( T7 _* F
- ]8 Z; D$ h2 S$ u" P; J x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 B* n8 i% H. vcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 Z3 P4 E: M$ [* f/ ^8 F
$8.00/hour.* P! L/ H/ X' Y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ e( J- @, m0 z7 tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 A( E+ k5 \' P6 o: _
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' b* n8 H- A/ H* ]$ R0 \ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 j: x+ a- w) q1 a" z' D7 \3 n
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% p8 x" i5 _0 B$ G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 c8 s2 s4 y+ c! a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) p: Z. m# |# m/ I" ?: r) dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
U% i; U& ?7 A3 Y8 _$ H- I p) ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 z) V& T. S$ g e. S' ^1 T( s* A4 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 @6 S# T% H. S8 i. V( Ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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# `2 x* @5 F9 z# V; W' C- ?/ ^5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# p% f, J- K1 Y: }& ?
can get you shot.
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: F: R* m2 F- I) B6 Z6 D: y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ y, J/ z0 _- X4 c- ]2 R. c4 D' Y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ w, V+ ^! Y: n6 |day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' z6 F# N2 ^4 U) B4 Q7 I. A1 x& A& m
more construction starts everyday.5 b O+ U' v3 r/ s s. K
$ Q4 ]) W1 {+ t4 @5 `6 ]+ J 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! U' K1 y U6 e6 t5 p8 v. ~: p2 T( pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 r" V7 y% w4 v/ csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 q/ j! Y" E6 U1 d. A3 V& i; G! R
# Q, x+ T, L! K8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 \$ [1 g% Q" p/ n- X( hthe same road.
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, A6 z) |9 D% l! N3 w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* A0 H* |8 Q7 o$ b% h- L7 K, t
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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f8 ]8 d, a& s' l% f3 X10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 y* k2 u) x2 T( C8 R
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 q% a' p+ x& G3 w" a' G/ g
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% z* u" s+ S! U% B5 t8 F% }lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and1 }3 g0 Y+ J/ }6 l
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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