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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.) M6 i9 v, ?' T% U
! x; Q- w% p* ] 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and5 d, D2 ^$ k( Z
hospital.8 D1 r8 P& A1 P$ V/ h Q
$ w- D, Q3 m) u$ p Z7 q) R 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; m6 f4 U& J" C4 o2 r$ W. bcapital of Canada .; P$ ?' J, w3 z! Z5 e* B% e% p" Z
. u$ z6 U8 W. m+ a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 s# i6 O& s6 Q3 I
+ o' k" e, s/ t9 W 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# j' X9 G3 j5 O" a% H9 z% w% acapital of Canada .0 V9 L1 a/ J' f* S
, R' m9 l* K) w$ J$ H" Y 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
" b( f/ f. G; i8 b8 ]$8.00/hour.4 k4 v5 i# D( _( O3 H3 C# [: N
- Y) S) I" F) X; R/ o7 P 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* T, K6 w, |. b! \
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
! M: Z5 I1 O" K" Z" {3 aon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 _# {7 ]$ M, W" R
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* ]. P- Z- j7 n8 T
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 k/ p/ A! z" {3 ] khere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12) Y7 ^5 Q, W6 K9 ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 g+ t+ T9 n* l( O% a0 f
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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+ l) o0 s% R! b: O0 Y. V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour* y# X- Z. l* n3 W7 f( S+ W; U
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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; l1 b$ u% b1 U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 h+ q4 K7 @0 B
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% z; Q9 j, K, i' ]6 o1 u
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 R: u0 D+ Z+ |$ L! Fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; Q; ^( O* F9 _0 yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( N W2 f0 U. O$ E2 H' o& I
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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8 R! t# b; D, d/ v0 j5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; u3 s) b) ~4 G( o
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 K6 m4 [1 V# t' W8 `
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; G+ b) V' X& L4 f" K' f
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# [& Y- E2 V) Z
more construction starts everyday.) ~; w9 r1 W" B6 H9 _
3 Y1 W# R( J- X0 E. `. I$ W 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ E: U% H& t: F* `) w3 m
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& R6 t0 Z: M' @0 |* I* ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* `4 z/ w8 ^8 G: d y2 ^
1 _; }- V0 z' }$ j: T8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
2 }& h, O+ h4 P7 Rthe same road.5 A' E+ Z: Q: P, u7 B( H
+ L& c+ V7 j$ D9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ f D; y8 T6 W, k
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
# |) K+ j; x8 |# `( E5 h& yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 H n# G; n% M( h8 r9 n2 ~
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% a+ N% w/ z4 O9 |. Y) v$ l11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- n6 z( e8 A2 c
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" C5 N8 c; [1 W* k1 `5 m) qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- ?5 B' p9 G' S6 w8 X% b' B9 Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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