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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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! y- R% E/ X- s" ^6 O: m1 s 1. Bring your own house.
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3 }% D" u" K, C( E# m) X. f 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 x6 t2 C% g0 Z, [
hospital.1 A" }+ B* v2 R; Q3 u
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 S- Z6 C- A, {
capital of Canada .
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, i6 R8 o9 K& ]" M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 r4 x: ?& ~+ J/ h! lcapital of Canada .2 [1 J' p5 E/ [ k% s
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ H2 N3 w; E$ F, e( W: \1 V+ {2 k
$8.00/hour.: T8 q2 @0 \8 U g% c6 V
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.( s. P0 g$ M" E( @8 t' @1 R( @; A# g
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money, ~: w7 c' b3 P& `5 e; |& e" A
on a 15 year holiday ?/ V! i+ E( \. u# Q6 A- t% x
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
0 P1 D' x: i* D4 M' [prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 V6 W2 H0 h$ Q
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 K$ @; p2 h$ [# p4 T* i1 ?
here sick.6 `5 c& k0 F0 f
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 ~) z `8 C5 O) l, A3 {
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" e+ q7 l4 e/ {, [# f2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour- f0 d! s9 u, g S) v8 }4 @8 p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 Q' o7 |$ @5 Z |- Q. ]3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 f) V2 j* N* c, f% gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! X% r; v/ X0 X% c8 @5 ~) zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 R+ K' _1 f- ?+ R9 V. W' Bgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
$ K5 K; p `/ ~phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 c! f9 ]% ~/ V! D Ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# Y0 r- S5 ^3 W" x: D/ R7 X( _* |
can get you shot.9 F, e4 Z$ m7 ~* [2 N
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" D& f8 L& d" s1 u9 E$ N
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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+ \( C9 W$ d$ V4 @' n( C9 A/ ymore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) v* V" H: k" r
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 Y* t, C! X8 j, O; Y
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 P, @$ R [2 ?" j9 U# R$ @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally: N7 s& ^2 z; t3 t+ R3 R( p
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* h. y9 M1 ~3 |- M) a10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km9 A- W; \% q+ b
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ G3 @2 T( D0 z0 e
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ V7 j9 b4 |' M/ M- m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. b! S$ Q7 F7 G, Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' J9 r/ L; q) { `% U) |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) C+ T; y0 H3 S/ t P- Fvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
