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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( t! y( z! r2 S) j

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1. Bring your own house.% K4 V+ n! \. i/ d$ ]! N- x

5 u  E) Q% f- A7 @7 T4 } 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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* K% r- V! v; D2 f 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 M2 Q- J' v: Wcapital of Canada .9 A# b/ k. K& y: _' o

6 l7 v4 S1 M1 M( p/ l3 A: h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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8 M/ }6 s- G# E! l* B9 U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 A. E( P3 ?7 {" e' V' M% H, Qcapital of Canada .. q4 c6 [" l( S* [0 q; J
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 g; ?" H4 W" K$8.00/hour.
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9 J1 ~1 Y! ~. s0 r: v7 ~ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.  u! Q2 U: q; b% ~

- r/ e) p! {( D6 j! r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. ~4 L; Q, b: e# F$ }9 v$ F
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas/ [2 r* e% V) `( S% v$ H  z
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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+ S2 X5 w+ N( R! [3 k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# S6 n0 ?) s" u  h2 d
here sick.
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) B* p6 o8 O/ I# A& I; U9 ^11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 }+ l5 d/ ~4 d7 y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 K) u( L5 b, m2 Q

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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, `1 J, D' v) a2 s4 }' d6 o6 K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ a# k0 s2 P% d/ ^/ l8 X

" D9 Q0 i. B, o* x& J. M2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 L7 s( o' v7 j8 v) x" T  Pis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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* f1 i" w+ ]/ G% v! A4 ]- I3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 T! @( T. E% }" H4 n, Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, }2 H7 o' P1 q& O/ D" ]. dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* F% e* r& N1 J4 Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 H  }$ p* }0 [; H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( F1 u0 r# G, |% p3 w$ u* L4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 k6 _* }* J  V: c) G9 q$ z& {$ {
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 i8 ]; z/ x" Q7 z  G$ M
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 x( Q8 J. |5 }6 Z' A- h& E$ D1 |$ {can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) |2 {' |: W# ~7 Y1 Y0 Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: E3 w8 F  |5 O3 x3 a0 l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 Z. a/ g" |# b1 n5 ^more construction starts everyday.2 w( \# w& H: v! _0 O/ x

7 I/ S9 U% ~# k: H% x  W8 [  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% x! I4 _, `8 y# e# J& F
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 ^5 P; a0 U, h& H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 \+ W% y+ u* v9 c' ~
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all; Z& H/ ~$ F3 _8 Y
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- @% _  P5 b' E) ~4 m! o6 x+ Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# Z  v% z8 N6 X" O3 M9 z6 i
activated."+ v" Y( v( B- }: c. k0 ?* w7 m- I( G& u
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! e" n8 b- d4 |7 q! E( h
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"4 y* v1 x7 q( t  J7 ^9 k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 n7 E. A" X$ W11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* _+ u  L) v2 \! L1 W
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ a. l2 x4 r9 x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% I+ [3 V; `. l$ Y8 o4 q: Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

, P) v6 P( D/ v7 L9 G5 L有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
, M; f9 \% ?( ^0 b3 ]) M: j满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
: \) i  }2 x& E9 M有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : $ I: Y9 U% e& f  f4 f$ G
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 1 A0 Z* B) E9 X# \
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。' \' m. b1 ~+ l: F/ e) {7 p
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?# R8 F7 K5 t6 s1 ~- J0 _

9 u9 l6 g2 f- M  R% {我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ( P! |% B7 q: V( I/ u
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
# y. H- M5 X8 i3 U3 R! D满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。$ Z( N; m- F& |$ a. n1 t
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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3 e# W) Z4 S# Q: W/ g3 w. s% y再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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