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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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* S( a  p: x& h2 k& \' N( u" r2 J2 F( a 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; p; y/ W" M' r4 J" b5 |% Q8 P
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ V4 ~2 U$ E: P/ P. H4 k
capital of Canada .# w# m& I/ O' e) P' P- s0 I, d
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .& g4 n; ]; Z0 _9 m; }' q# Z
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. h* j" m- O  H, H$ I( _! Q
capital of Canada .+ [+ V8 p2 w4 n. r- R# ^/ O6 z4 f) o; J
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) |6 T* d4 \5 J$8.00/hour.
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6 G6 p' ^/ X) p' ^ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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3 @: k8 v+ Q3 B8 D* Y* Q+ N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 g. I; k/ b$ z2 ]
on a 15 year holiday ?
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" f' o; d0 D; ?9 s$ r' t 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
) X" m8 X  V5 E( A- [0 J! D* Yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 g* l) s: z( z' |4 ~" Q
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 |" X7 ]) G7 u
here sick.! f  G3 d3 E" z. ~1 ]

/ K7 G- c; W7 d( l. U. {11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
7 B1 l' O2 W. Pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# x. a# d6 Q) i+ X$ k4 u

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5 T! I; c* i- ~$ t. J THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :1 J2 S2 R" e2 p6 W, F" q; J* a

: s6 E( [: V& H, }6 H! @1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' J5 F" E' w2 His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 S2 P  N! P. A* R

! g" d9 I! f0 e9 {3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' b0 }$ K, l4 P- X  \2 U; W7 Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 _) O$ j& q5 p( Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% d' i& S" [  u& `/ ?/ }5 f
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( L+ I+ G4 y! Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: ~+ }6 O; p1 X2 \

  O3 \  ^$ T+ j! i. Z& l4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ w5 y6 J- g" t( A0 z+ xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6 o) U# o3 }0 j, |; l. ~5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ u" [5 c$ P- A0 o  u( M6 [
can get you shot.
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. L- \! b7 k! p6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' |6 Z5 e. O- O9 b% E/ E) x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 o: U0 o% Y- m* c) F2 \day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ x0 ~4 a5 I0 p) |& a' zmore construction starts everyday.
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* j) P: x8 j% f. y  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% v, E. O  v- f  d- r! y3 vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- A" z% q9 O- ?. _* Z! N- n4 nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all: ]( i4 T% k- \! o1 u! I1 u; ?! [5 j
the same road.
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% u# e0 G5 X5 _9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 x# e. G8 Q; d5 a1 e1 ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally5 i- R1 [$ v- e  |
activated."6 O0 g# H# E; u1 |0 z
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, _- @" U7 k& r6 {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 c# h" H+ i8 y+ v" t' A5 h" g
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ ?# K% p8 t- p, f) y; i  w
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 @' O7 n* |( d8 f  M7 w- ^blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# R( q4 w# \& i, z- \virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

# X- o( e# X( ^9 j有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: k; J. @; \' t( `, ], Y
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
4 ?3 |3 L- g2 O有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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7 E2 w( \9 {' O" F, y' c此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 $ L8 I$ W) V! ~* ?- I. O
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7 I6 K3 I9 v0 t' ?$ _' h: o# A[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
$ F. U; \5 d6 `3 D! w# i: r朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。& X# ]  r' o* t' W8 U$ k$ `3 O+ k
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& B, n5 e" i* E) \( {. P3 u) Y
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 # ^+ Y+ P% t7 h

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( L5 u# b" @% _- j7 S 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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$ F! t' E1 [$ e2 x0 t# a; Z这么刺痛你了吗?' \; n1 L6 F/ m

* a+ f- q9 S# b! _0 q# [$ f6 A4 M. t我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 / J! N  h1 o! Y& X
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: T4 {- W1 ]7 ~7 c. Y! B5 e
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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) p& V/ Y. @( U) }; j/ X你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.( q9 V7 P7 u% @& ~

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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