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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA- m3 z. L; W* ?9 h3 @5 S- F# C
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V7 V: w. x" E- T. A7 p 1. Bring your own house.9 v. ^2 J/ C4 O+ a
, Z0 o1 Y6 M( ~5 \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 Z1 ^& n2 X, S- k) p
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( Q6 {1 g& X: M: ` |+ B* Y9 Pcapital of Canada .
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6 a% G. o) n* T 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; y, ]5 K( E" w
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; X6 K1 Q7 |- c9 T8 x* E: Y# Z
capital of Canada .
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1 _) }# E; p; k4 h9 i- U5 X% I 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, x" w& b9 Z) d1 I/ w% D2 k" `
$8.00/hour.) z* z) C2 w2 K$ l+ K! x/ V6 n
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.. z6 O- ~' J4 n. M
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 Q Y, ]. C- w0 ~2 C4 o( \
on a 15 year holiday ?2 c6 `+ `0 @& K. @
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( n# D6 z. S4 y& W& N* [prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) u3 O1 N& ]. x7 c* y
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! W* V: A" C$ ?1 I7 i: ^
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, P( i4 C q' u5 h1 s1 q& m5 j
! @% H: c* U/ ^; ]" O6 K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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3 ~3 R, s" w0 R2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, {3 C+ t' |4 D* x
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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/ y. A* I' _ y. F* Z& v3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its9 {3 d( b- X6 d! k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! r; a. D1 a7 N, N. R
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 i# G- p7 ]! Ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
; y% D T& H$ W; R- L1 Dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* z- x1 ?) t/ K( D
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 s& O6 v( ]0 F+ scussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
% |. Q8 ] `0 ncan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
; i, k8 g9 S5 q& s4 a, f! ?2 u( dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next L; L! m5 F0 [0 a8 z; L+ B, a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ G8 s& q# O. \4 w, ?& x) m
more construction starts everyday.6 F9 q3 S+ G6 J4 ^2 s# y0 _) v
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ E5 _0 l8 i& M( ~- ]
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 s) i) T; O3 \& [squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) x; o) q9 y& t' Q) Y, d8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# u$ |- I* b. E, w: x! n
the same road.6 a$ q, Q7 d" } a
; V( H' \4 \' y% V- ~2 H: I9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 z& k. n0 x# B n6 n' r7 yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally+ f2 r+ }) J: `0 \( ~& P
activated."( _4 C3 d; |1 j6 j0 [# M, v
5 p5 V% `" W. [9 ]$ K10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ @9 @/ g0 J% u& P5 z9 I. z; ^
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% t7 J% X) [. E- ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ U! R3 E- r& y! t% q! W1 h; k X
9 g* D8 U) r) A+ ^0 l4 b! a11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( v2 H8 p7 ~# u0 T9 llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& A" d1 ?+ O% H1 ~blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 H9 N1 b& X- x/ h: J& s# h' A
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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