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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' W4 R1 C1 ^8 E: d, \ J
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5 K9 r* |, ]7 v$ Y2 M 1. Bring your own house.0 J9 u [9 F' _" x/ y: e
# L6 ~$ p/ C3 T' \0 ` 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
# O1 v$ |% U* rhospital.. L! h% j9 j! I! i4 f5 f% W1 d4 n8 f. b
) o0 k! H# h7 U3 b; i 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% A2 g: a9 ~" ncapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, @+ z* Y& n6 g* o' y1 b. g. a: v
capital of Canada .- e4 ~+ |, p& l
8 a( N; V) a5 } 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 {7 i2 a& M/ s" }7 y& n
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ `% |& x* u6 d7 K/ _
: V6 v3 w: H0 N/ S. {1 }! Q% y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* B. j6 y/ s2 f* M3 Bon a 15 year holiday ?
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( }3 g- n& i& k) c( y6 W8 X9 N 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- E h2 d+ ~$ }prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; j$ l( W: {: { f: H% J
here sick., N6 b- o3 i: w
$ d* o0 O9 q- k! ]: I) d3 s11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( t9 b) Z! }1 d, i" m
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ K* Y: |: j$ o) Q THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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# L4 \6 F; c7 r1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".- L0 Y: a Z" V* U( j" P, }1 }: Y# K5 R
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' l! O3 B$ g) r* L* S* Fis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% ~) i! H W1 A# A& T; [
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 u# R7 }! u! m9 H7 E. `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- h" \* r: S7 T" {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& w; L- j+ Z) F, j2 L
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* r2 ~' d9 F0 |! {
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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; V1 D0 P+ a, H5 T0 I+ M" }4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, \) s0 I# W a+ \cussed out, and possibly shot.8 K' c( h# w+ ]9 B0 ^* X) v
+ D1 y/ J# [7 S" P5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; R: X8 B6 S" ~/ j
can get you shot." Y j- ?' f% C% ^5 c$ H0 k! g1 p. e
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& W' @6 ~! Y( }6 x' zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% E& W' r9 {1 ]- Bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' n% t( E( F" e3 Z$ I
more construction starts everyday.# O. Y7 L; |; k. l7 _8 T: o; |4 r* z2 _
, [2 C/ B* s0 r+ l5 j9 J( a' ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* H( j( {' K* R7 V8 G5 }
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 K! w8 O! k8 ^5 m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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* [% Z! |% k) E* x+ n; m8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% y0 P# ~: I& G9 t) N! B% s2 C
the same road.
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7 {8 ]; P9 D1 X! v9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. C& X; G1 W/ c6 r3 a4 p: {3 {
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; }8 M+ X/ J) a+ s7 K4 N1 T
activated."! s7 U7 K- ~: r+ K2 _' I
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* R# X& G5 P# _6 Z
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
3 D2 l7 X1 K/ G4 Y% aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& ]4 M( I0 ^% qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 F' w: r& @" K( C8 h9 Tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& u2 o' P$ A; D& D; T# e+ ^virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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