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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 _0 T* ^. P( ^
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1. Bring your own house.# F6 z( k; |9 }" u! E2 b3 ^5 l+ [& t
/ ?. y" ]) T& E' d1 f, d- t 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and K1 m* m& C% @
hospital.
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0 q( R% s8 q2 v3 Q7 W- X9 g 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, L. H: g Q' Icapital of Canada .. u: |- ^- b- V/ S5 m! b3 `
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. N9 Y5 G; C0 U) O
0 e* ?5 S3 E( d ^+ r 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ O% f1 w, m( V) c# _( M. R( K
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 {! `# h2 O. ?2 ?9 u& o- R$8.00/hour.
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( {- T# \; J3 g9 E* o, h5 m 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 s. P" g6 a' a! X' [* H
on a 15 year holiday ?
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+ t4 ~8 h9 `6 ~" L" M" X 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas: L* C/ }* @- X0 q J s$ }& }
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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" [/ ^0 T+ x/ a& j0 M- t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. G# Z3 \3 I, m8 W' t3 `* D
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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% k8 R b2 h+ B3 z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 L. m3 F: C& o0 W- W
' g6 @2 a% Y1 L# L2 ]5 ~1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".0 q5 j/ ?, E9 G! W3 \
$ I* a; I# H6 y8 i1 `! Y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! H2 ]3 P) m& \6 B; _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 K, D' g" X. J) c( o' r
: N& d$ s2 n @* B6 V# t3 Y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) c+ D" J' f$ e( Q. b0 O6 U8 z1 Xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% V; b: \' z0 |1 P. U2 h% [muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" j1 Y5 D' Z/ g# T& F9 K; ?% rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 J0 m6 C( P" ?1 `3 Aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." M5 i/ ~( P4 ?3 u
7 h- X& C P$ c3 f: l: i- l3 u+ L4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: p% F- U5 ?( B$ i- ~/ O! }! l
cussed out, and possibly shot." z3 C' f! R# W9 {# `9 \
2 x# ], V6 H0 U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
. n8 p8 J) H# ?3 H! F4 f. z7 k e; z: o4 |can get you shot. Q9 {* T" |! h b; t
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 |! @, J" y( l* rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! k. ~ m" K: u9 E7 v* O& wday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* S. H; n) G6 T6 P* U7 a! ?! L
more construction starts everyday.
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; j' D: E1 y" h1 t 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' o; R( g* R8 ^, _3 _/ Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ y; d5 u2 q$ e J! O
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- x9 v' y2 X- D+ V' v' x1 mthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ L- }2 T% {) r" f* e! W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally1 M1 R2 I5 u! S8 ~' l
activated."- ^1 I% _- J0 j
- R9 |, ]) u4 Q" c* ~3 { u10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& a* T. Q! c0 o$ ^8 B
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# T& A* Q' ~0 a# O2 K/ }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& M5 x6 a# X8 D! N5 W
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' C& Z" y8 j% D3 ]; ^9 \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 D5 x: {5 h+ {. K4 k
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ w- U# y" a- ?/ n) L9 T# ^virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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