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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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1 n: H" [) z, j. r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and* N: M1 c; R2 a# F' V- @+ ?( Y
hospital.& c' [( R" m& a O5 `! Q$ ^3 S
9 F. }* A9 l8 F 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' }# j W9 o( D: ]2 s$ V3 c* f
capital of Canada .
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/ E' Q0 [* j9 j- |( n; j/ ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
3 h8 G) L, ~6 N; Kcapital of Canada .' {( x, `) Q Z3 A } c7 T4 K, ]
( m9 W4 U: T0 ]* W3 N 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is. V/ R: \2 v* K+ {5 L
$8.00/hour.1 X+ `: p6 ^4 \1 \0 }# x; U
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 w. k3 m: C' f' {& P
on a 15 year holiday ?; \( H/ H' f; a1 W5 N6 F7 i- a
. c/ p1 ?6 h$ _7 Q/ R' s0 ^/ ? 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# C) t, T% `2 m, i9 `% u$ D% [prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& B+ w0 K* [8 E
' G5 ]3 a' Q) o; ~* }. J0 Q0 U10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come# Z4 i) `& ~- l7 c5 Q5 W
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. X- G' N& f" ~3 j
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( l2 l" h: J e0 b- C. R; p4 M# s
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3 c( K. w! Z* r B* X+ |% v) O THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :! R1 A, n. m5 y8 |9 E3 k7 P% X
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".$ s6 Y6 ^5 @# r8 O% U" O S9 Q
& d( e( t1 h- e2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ O. U& U7 v. U& I. X, c5 c: [9 I3 _
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.7 C: Z$ f1 f9 _+ d& x" k3 s& C
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! C' T: k G; e
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 C. `+ S: {* }4 D1 Y. |8 o
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, n& g3 V! Y7 s
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: M1 c$ o! m- D" E( h
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." V1 c3 U1 e: u) |% s, X
2 M% b6 H) D3 J$ P, Z4 i4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, S6 O# T8 ^+ q( p- Tcussed out, and possibly shot.3 V: k! d& T. {- b$ _
/ R2 l/ R$ F. H5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that! k2 B# V2 c* Q, h
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ `' _. q1 F. O3 f8 w2 z$ Gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( c' }% H6 x9 M! N' }
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( ]" |5 i& V, w9 M: omore construction starts everyday.6 ? j- x4 H3 {0 [ w( a/ K
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 K, @7 J1 b Wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' D2 t* O4 s4 T- Psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.* @* C- @7 K) v5 T/ c) L
) E+ V! O1 L6 S# s# {* a9 k+ B5 e+ @8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# T" ^$ L. G: i' P) x
the same road.
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* G/ `8 @* W4 i) v! e9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 W4 j6 ~8 j+ ]. _5 q8 o- p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
6 w- P' q! [8 n4 F( b) lactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km* j& H- _) u, \( b* z. c# i. R; U
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"( ]4 K2 y0 L* C. W0 P% I3 z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.% p! r- h% z8 {; e) r
& [. W0 J8 y& }* y, ^11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur% F* T) b* e% N, x/ J* T3 d9 I! ]' Y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# w" B; G' J' _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( d% A' b$ c' T" e$ o3 y! ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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