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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 A* H( Q4 `7 T! W: ^
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6 j+ p: o: e% a( j. G 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ P! |5 _- z& I4 u. [
hospital.
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" F: C* l: a; T* M/ F7 B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 K- q0 ?! [2 t+ H* I7 y3 h$ Y ocapital of Canada .! N) W- j' k$ ]% `' k, W, e1 p$ d7 T, _
4 S: s! U4 |- Y9 _( a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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6 m3 S5 N, y( [- Y/ M# L9 E 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 [" t# [. \! D6 `$ s4 H
capital of Canada .
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3 E Z$ Z. v( m( X. L* s0 s 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& s" j% n* G7 h* }
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 R5 r( ~) c( {" h' w
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: C7 ^. l' q5 r& u5 Y* yon a 15 year holiday ?1 L. ? P4 U3 Q
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" T6 H' U$ {, Kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 F$ _' ~' O* F+ k" Z
! n# \6 W# v, }2 z: L3 J10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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0 \- }2 s9 f, Q( ?+ x) w. r. C11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' v. P& u" X) R l
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.* e/ k) o" @! S! a! n
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- o, d3 F$ H: V& W0 V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 y* H( }7 z; S4 N9 c4 V
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour3 L/ ^+ p2 E! u4 h0 B! J* C* N
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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& E) L: B) B; x8 R; F7 I# E+ d3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. u1 b* C+ f2 V! \) i( e( y
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ J+ B5 f$ \0 ]# A0 `# C9 c
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 h8 r) K& b4 j" ~) u* X1 |, Xgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" v4 y/ n$ i( c4 \- i# J
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 Q# T3 M1 t6 Y2 v9 k, q
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 H# ]4 z) ^- C- x% c7 @8 _$ zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that! C' R& p/ X j: l9 Q! S8 N4 i
can get you shot.9 l" O" {0 t" U4 s, V. ^) Q4 Y% R
+ P8 w! w2 K* p j4 R8 Q6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) L2 }' {' J bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ d1 ?* |# p) S0 `$ M0 Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, P2 o* [+ C8 }
more construction starts everyday.% q5 \% a) k, o& u
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 o' g9 g7 p4 [7 ] K0 p
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* w0 ` A3 r+ S3 _
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# S G: o2 w. t, S4 L4 `
, J8 N0 Y3 s, s# K( B3 P; F8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 B' [9 N& B& Ithe same road.- ~0 u% L- Y& ?! _( ]% c+ Y
/ Z( T% r, L% ?7 ?9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 R: r1 _3 Z0 ]0 `9 o3 e) o6 n0 A# ~# Sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 @4 Y/ L4 l) Q3 q* h: \, p
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") h" i, R0 ]6 p* i6 `+ M9 Z( y
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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! L/ K M* \( \* o11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
2 C8 i; z) U* I- rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
4 V+ K3 n4 n" F( }% Nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
6 N2 V& G9 ~: c! a5 _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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