 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
, a8 k, |5 i/ J7 y; N
: W3 S: y2 U1 H" o
- U& H# F1 r7 o2 T! v. {9 [7 U; g& W
1. Bring your own house.
8 x' f/ j5 K9 s6 G" j5 |8 A1 q2 ?4 W; \# I' E& k
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
7 h) I) ?; Z ]$ L) M; Bhospital.8 Q/ r0 p/ b6 a$ k/ J" }
* F( Q O+ ~. S; X
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* v# U J) Z3 v5 a9 R6 W
capital of Canada .
4 f5 O, e. ~6 d# z8 j0 r4 |0 h
9 ~6 T t. ~ I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 q ?. S* U; ~6 ]" h
4 F4 k3 v7 ? R* ~+ J5 V$ P
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 Q( a" G% K7 I* p8 U4 q' a
capital of Canada .. _2 x0 j+ D/ o6 x, g# `
, q5 C3 ^; n/ m( s# c
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 ]* U9 R7 W- L: J% W0 I
$8.00/hour.
9 m4 P9 ?( @ ^# a; a# W" }% q3 d6 P' \# S& ?
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
3 ^, y4 X7 W6 c7 N/ m/ u$ A# b
; o6 u, h# Z5 A# \" c _, b3 \- M U 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
, D, A3 t, v* B8 |: p& u! Von a 15 year holiday ?. m9 e! X1 ?# v
0 A9 h0 ^# ^, o0 j 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& e- R# G |8 J5 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 o4 H5 M; M# }4 V. ?+ O/ @
7 b0 K0 ?: S7 Y0 t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ C) m _; m! k9 Chere sick.
/ E% k# X- ^. [4 e
* W% ?2 q0 R S3 F* N# H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 126 D' j2 Q) R( X2 t& ~
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
) u" F+ ^) t0 v5 ~3 E
7 w( v% x5 g7 J! t5 \* n- ^1 V! x% K% O1 a; I. q
% t2 b/ T. Z) z* p2 M1 K+ a2 h THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
7 j0 @; [/ M0 [1 f" j* o0 f: h9 [7 M9 e5 _& Z; I7 G2 ?
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
# j- ^ }3 B2 t1 f% z7 N" w! L- N$ ]5 b# {1 M& k1 n
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 k* T5 v$ w2 T. k5 E; \
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 w) D8 X( }7 |/ @
- j+ `0 ^0 T4 k6 d O3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. C3 p7 c# R! c) E5 D. P" Cown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% D0 G) |5 i8 d+ d) y2 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! w4 ]. {5 g+ [' ]6 L( f& Pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% e4 g( v# A1 [; A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.& |! B) D, ]4 i; X
# E+ K$ k ?! S3 H& j+ E/ p& m
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 j h v' W: }3 r" S; r+ Z" o# s9 Xcussed out, and possibly shot.
- A5 ?4 @& N# R
& F" Z4 b2 r; B+ r0 w. \ N" E5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 p, B, S% ^6 X' {. |can get you shot.0 z9 d+ k O& C; o0 S( C! t
% z. A' u! }7 z7 f! d: a
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
& R. j$ F* B2 `( D+ {5 y5 pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 ~, b& |1 P3 H
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. O# D7 T1 l4 a7 a; omore construction starts everyday.
2 i3 t3 p9 ?5 S" r; `3 E& q
1 x1 L! P" u# g y& i 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; }3 P4 g/ r& U9 C" Z8 T) |( Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ h! Z' l2 }2 e5 [
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
5 N1 e; G4 x5 j( n0 U
6 Y# l# v8 g' e" \/ @* N9 i8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 r# j) W( i; v0 w9 x9 h
the same road.! \7 m! ^. K& c5 n
5 s& B Q! W; R! K' _ S
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the0 `' ?4 H- x% m6 e' ]" t0 Y! P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ H& `2 S0 l- H6 n5 c
activated."
8 k( k+ M9 m% o7 M8 F5 m. b6 k- @2 ]* u( Z$ I4 ~
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: ]! B9 X/ X8 F# D; f# }
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") J7 c6 { e, H1 s ^: R, n: W
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
3 m4 n; X* d- H
. J1 J D# o, O" ^ t11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) C \2 c! l* l& E {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ |! y R' p a& y& L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 a/ @( f" l! Y: u; T$ H/ p+ L, x# W. pvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
