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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA1 Q @9 h0 P6 ~; f
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- f" W* V* L% `; t 1. Bring your own house.4 S0 S8 j1 l8 ?4 V4 k: \* D' ^5 Q
: y0 _2 S' J, Y; _+ j1 C: a 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and5 a, y* n0 @- N/ N( G/ u
hospital.: E8 h* k% J! I4 |" i# ~! E4 ?
- r# T2 z) j$ w9 U/ u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
h: `% C {5 X5 ]+ Qcapital of Canada .8 s- l( z' B! i8 h) S8 {
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .. p" U1 U3 `9 h8 G$ U$ e! F
: M9 B% m, y% @- G& J; f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
% |# C% v7 D. I3 w0 Dcapital of Canada .
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- P- l+ t1 X; J6 p* s4 ~ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 ^- V( E$ {* Y$8.00/hour.% |4 V K! d" b# T7 F
5 L6 i ~# {% _; T 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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% W+ r; [; `+ e: M- r 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ }- U1 G. s, N$ x9 W) Ion a 15 year holiday ?9 y2 S' d- I2 p8 I) s! f: U
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 |) P; ?5 }0 R# @' w# g
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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4 J6 E D* o9 ]- V4 I' U10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ x0 W: [, K( d; M8 v) |/ b, o0 n6 S
here sick., R" M. `5 P) l) Y
4 G$ E0 m/ r8 K, u3 B8 f( t11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 q) _" d4 F" m+ H' A: L) H
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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y+ U" n# s+ e2 u( g) D$ m( r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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0 r% [5 H/ Z% h. I: I4 x1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: I' ~/ C. k4 q$ L4 H t0 a4 V
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.5 M) C g) g& ^2 K l3 R( s
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% X& f7 w( N' z& T) Q6 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 h0 D E0 p/ m8 p/ V3 z6 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 L& y+ C4 V' Y* A9 Ngo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell Z) v U, ?, c8 o) W5 ~9 E* V" R
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* s+ p+ @; Q- T, a
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,) t" b1 v4 V5 Y' _" x
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 }2 b1 g$ J- ^( F
, v8 G. L. x6 L1 t) h4 b5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
* C' N& F; R7 i1 K l& W8 Ucan get you shot., k' ?7 v: g: ^* f4 g6 Y$ V9 B
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
, w- p! n5 ]9 rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; D' x" n" n+ }7 g3 b
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
B$ {# B; a) j( }2 d zmore construction starts everyday.5 z g5 s6 H3 o n* p2 A% f
0 {9 j% H, R' C% ?7 }! ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 P$ r! s2 M$ kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* ~. W) i- C% L( X% X" ]! fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) I7 P9 R, a& P" D) }. E. Ithe same road.8 ^! |8 ]3 Q+ \( J, l8 G
3 ?: r: Q/ Z. e c5 ^, h9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 H8 A1 \! H1 r0 m6 J8 d+ l( q" P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
: \5 `/ H& `9 q# P* Gactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 z& y, s5 c) `4 N. n* J- o% C! N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' A9 s3 l5 r% z' i) {4 a" paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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; D4 J8 `- x0 @" a- v5 M* j11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. E" u! s( d' l( A
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ r7 t M- V# |! H0 A6 ]" u \5 I# r) Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# z4 M7 {( l' t) W' e9 bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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