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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) J) d4 V0 I b7 C/ ~
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+ ?* U! }- A/ A 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- C# w4 o: f+ h/ k" M/ B
hospital.. L+ H' ^0 l& z( l
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
7 E5 y$ _% w0 B$ H3 }2 O$ ucapital of Canada . z7 R$ j8 c9 T; Y
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., M3 e) t; g9 k) U ^3 H! f
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug% f _' Z$ l7 N4 g8 s* _7 p1 r) R
capital of Canada .' K/ B( C% A, W0 T
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ B. Q2 G: G, L* |, j2 a( q$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ I+ S1 M4 S2 K3 x' j4 u& Y
" L* E+ w7 v+ h0 t( G: P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
/ U$ Z8 k/ l2 Bon a 15 year holiday ?
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5 b" V+ f: r/ w4 y" s+ L 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. Z# o# ]( V% S! vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) a' L/ l5 b1 P+ i5 j4 k
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 d/ H0 x" M: i% g( x5 C: b
here sick.
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. j1 y7 e% _4 y/ h' f: q: l2 v11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" n( O$ }3 D: s3 M; l) Vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." N1 n$ ]9 r' U5 {1 P, x
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :* E, I1 F/ D* n0 Z
- ?) [* H! Q# N( ]9 r7 D; `4 [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 k% \% V. [+ W6 \
1 P+ O* ?- [& }2 B1 u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour, S1 Y/ P# N& p7 U: R, u( s; ?' m% V
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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8 y' B2 L+ Q) v+ y9 v8 q9 G) n3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 ]8 z4 d' U; F1 {% [
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# w; {0 T# R+ l Q5 M% S1 z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 _$ r/ `4 D' F
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ t& Q, s; ~1 s! t; I) k
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* x/ c4 U* Z p" qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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& O1 e, g$ v" }0 G3 z5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ a$ m1 O9 e$ i% h" W0 y
can get you shot.. l9 M6 M* d( v2 i; Y
' w8 e4 V/ L7 J" }2 z7 y2 D- r& z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 R( z6 E$ ~) b C7 X. P+ F* \9 Z- K
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* t6 V; l6 s: n2 V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" v7 B: T+ u/ }6 X$ r
more construction starts everyday./ b3 K+ V, T- K2 U2 R
) p5 j9 |- I8 [ B 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,9 l. L# p+ u' r8 P7 i* ~# {# e
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: P4 i& [" e& q7 t* c' Zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 A2 y+ t9 M6 M m+ K5 g/ R5 h
the same road.
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( R$ M2 f( `* g' O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( o! V* e! D: a
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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3 A. r: ^" W" ^* g7 H11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 G9 v1 g* O, P6 \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 e: Q# S# K- {- m) }1 T# x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is; y% K3 p5 n0 Y; n
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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