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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# ^* A' d9 X8 T Y/ ]/ s8 j. y/ e
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V: o6 f' [. @3 Q 1. Bring your own house.! K) V$ D8 S& [ r; b
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder. Y1 h' l3 u2 l* ^5 R7 a# w- {
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* Z+ j- L+ ]$ {- s6 d
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 x- N G# B, }# }capital of Canada .& `* V( x8 B3 P9 R
# O2 b2 V" }! j 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
I2 n+ y8 r; W7 ~! e6 Z$8.00/hour.
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& n) }( \" j5 h( x* J$ o 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 R3 [- v$ t# A& ~' h% `
2 r: [7 ?9 R$ {+ {% L 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- J8 h3 w; P! b% {, n4 h; bon a 15 year holiday ?7 ]2 q4 ] ]4 S: d/ A; v
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ [& p* Y$ V6 D/ oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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! [) ~7 p7 K4 n& D+ m0 ]: G11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; ?- K+ Z2 l5 n2 ]" s2 ~ zyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# p% ?- X0 \0 p( b
, t% |; Y0 @; v# [: c2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour% f) G4 s$ J$ `" Z* d5 H- \# ?
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' I1 F; \ H9 k( U. p& Q7 E3 ?4 |5 u
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: p C! x/ _+ R% z( Z9 jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 w+ n' i; F b' gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& q; T+ F% A. @% f7 A/ tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 p8 e* O2 O0 S8 C: q* iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,: y+ \% F" A7 @6 y' J2 K/ _
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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# a" n# y6 Z+ F4 U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
. `& e8 a; Q" wcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* ^3 A G9 x7 O, f
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 b( S3 `! _+ k" D, v2 o% m$ p- t+ |day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' S* T* b! h% p0 ?
more construction starts everyday.8 b* f; D6 v9 W( G/ a5 W
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
' O, I8 l" j; z+ ~deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 @. y/ }( R! [# X: o" o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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# \9 r% N! G' Z- g& |, [/ Q8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, o1 {# M: |- x) t; athe same road.3 u* W, D2 |$ r! U7 K z; N
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
$ b: D. G: `& ^, O4 ]( O% J xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
' `3 m2 S3 B- V# w q% J# H/ Sactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* q0 Y0 v' ?! n) Hzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 I- Q( X- W L# i- S4 N0 o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" ?: @# u: ^/ C9 s! t2 Z/ O11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. A" G1 l2 Q) o9 [3 L" f4 }( y6 Flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
/ r5 y- Y1 i4 j. X9 \7 jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
4 b G/ [6 T4 L9 C) J1 R4 \! zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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