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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% x- t. e, V: j6 s0 C
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1. Bring your own house.
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' y8 J. M% V) e* n0 o) \9 p0 z. G 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 f! ?  V0 p/ b$ ~0 s0 a) S0 t& u
hospital.! r, \. P' Z& V) r3 o+ u2 }

$ o# u# c) ^3 w: ] 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ a$ b; F* D' O2 b: t
capital of Canada .# G! f2 I1 ^1 m

7 ~4 u) ^5 \, o/ G$ [# @ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 q. Z( `* n1 w, E! y$ `capital of Canada .
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0 x$ t+ m- K: z. g4 K 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is  M: B. u/ y1 t" I
$8.00/hour.2 a) e) m& S3 s" w( T

: ?; u3 l1 S! {- j/ ] 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 ~9 v- K$ f5 b5 S6 |8 i. D  P
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 w# \, C4 v- G' P
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 _  e) e7 X# L7 Bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage). l! p6 G9 |3 ?3 O2 y* F
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" m' {% M# Y1 g; z( g; |% ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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5 i5 {# U! m; y4 m1 B THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 _8 a! o# _. x7 E' e

2 j2 {. d& ^, k9 P2 T) a9 X: [) Q' N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- D9 T7 Q9 P+ O2 ^& D5 C! `3 H" F! {  Vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.  `  `# T7 k/ l, M# a" A: r( S2 m

# z. i0 I6 Q/ M7 r4 s6 [3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 t6 v+ f/ n8 M% L2 I1 ]
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. z  b0 T, k! w8 y; O  ~% Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! `" ~8 t& V* c9 F0 rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 A' K# }$ J" R9 s1 N+ Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 h! }0 e5 B& k1 ]% \  F+ q* Dcussed out, and possibly shot.' H7 m7 D- F6 y' |3 o
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" y; h% L; w5 f- }9 F
can get you shot.$ C- U0 i2 ?5 J4 M1 {: A: q

6 A' L" K* u% e- |" I3 h* h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 p- J6 \1 m( I. n! A; z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 ?4 ^+ n, j5 V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! `, Z4 U6 B" Imore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 i7 H. K8 J8 Z4 t7 D: p
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ D+ S$ Y. G0 q* e( n" ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.  H5 _" `* Y5 R. m" z/ J7 b
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 g2 ~. r1 f1 M% r' Sthe same road.
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) o4 R5 B0 R8 r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( V/ Q2 c  M+ K, f/ J3 N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) `( U0 Q3 P" `8 r2 T
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' _6 ^9 p6 {, B) uzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"8 ~! Z$ j; s% |
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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* e$ k4 _4 h1 m( E6 F* e; o6 r2 T* ]11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ S. B6 ]8 d3 K0 W+ e( x* J) E- x. ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ ]  Z" J: U) V# a) J& b0 d# D# b
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is, a4 ^% e$ z, R( j1 g% `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

" s! g" |! h2 \7 V有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。9 n! z6 f2 \* T* B" q
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。9 C2 c8 I6 W1 F" G8 G. p' g3 O! A
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 8 k& o# L9 Z  D- x6 u
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 2 \3 n. T% W  Y

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$ Q3 _- l+ `, X8 t' y; R[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) N9 c: n4 C8 p" U0 J1 d朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* {8 m3 Y* o. g  u+ _: A$ h1 X6 L8 Z
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 W- a; n! n+ I9 j3 {! ^6 r
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 3 t1 p( F3 C. E# O; a/ Y. h, e
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6 ?) R1 j4 G6 e 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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" `! l, x, q- J; a# M这么刺痛你了吗?. J+ Y8 Q* a7 K4 y# j: s1 r; c
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 & V0 V  z5 L3 z" |
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。1 F' g; F; R6 T/ u. R
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。" P8 |, i- p7 {

3 M4 k# n! ?5 m! n$ L9 z. Q# l再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.: r& V+ @2 V  e; O
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
理袁律师事务所
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