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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.0 J x$ O; @9 L( f( J, U* I( o4 W
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and8 M) t+ o4 O: R+ \; q( c7 {
hospital.; Y/ A1 s2 }4 L# W3 }/ y6 K
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
$ n: T4 u3 `* e" J& i% ccapital of Canada .$ N+ V$ W" o) z' v% i* X z
3 r$ a z* a0 a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! m% y9 q; c4 E; v! O# B
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug% F8 [! Z' c- Q% a7 a. c" O* n' ~
capital of Canada .' W2 E g2 P$ Q2 @5 c
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 r) V- E5 ?* w2 d$8.00/hour.5 v$ M' B( \' ~0 o
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; n& ]! G$ J: B6 Y5 E
2 X P T% t9 T d) \ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
* }9 V v6 s [on a 15 year holiday ? \6 m, [7 S9 E8 c
0 v8 W6 X+ N3 d3 D) t9 I: Z 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 v9 z0 @; ]' g. {: U- f7 c) iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" P$ W v! @. S* I6 ~
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 E' S9 R( q3 ]& s# S* c# o, i# ?
here sick.+ D! a- Z/ E; r. E1 _7 U
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
( P& Y9 A- r7 e y# Tyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.9 N! M! B+ J* g6 D
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; g* a! K9 L! P% ^+ u THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :' _$ A4 V4 n# T8 R+ u
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. C0 l9 W" F5 u5 o; i8 A
, S. K% |' {) R7 u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 a( q2 B' c/ \7 \+ Yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' ]" ^, i+ w5 g' ^
6 Q; b; A/ D% |. N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 X4 Q' w$ T! K t( uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! t6 k& J4 l. g7 b4 Q0 s b
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, I: E+ N2 i, t3 X, L( j
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: @( ?4 C5 n& D- X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 o4 a! O$ h" Tcussed out, and possibly shot.% E, h. l0 u5 n1 H, Y- i/ B3 Z
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% ?; f" T1 \8 M1 }. X8 V
can get you shot./ d* @7 J" t" \
: [4 j6 P! }( p6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 X' o' J; |* m0 S# J% ?3 X l- J1 g
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
) O7 U2 K7 `* U" y/ R, r% zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and O4 R. b2 Q' m# X; ]
more construction starts everyday.
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# }3 s0 T& f; ?6 {8 U$ X 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% M @# ^! |0 o9 [ l; jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 s! @, x5 ?3 f- ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.( `, }; O4 x- C. {
" B2 M8 P& N( [) W: F* v8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 g6 q; a- v% N2 X( w' c! b
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" G2 _; y- I6 x; [7 D
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ i: O; u- X' U
activated."
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& o4 m8 E3 A/ a4 w8 f10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
/ a- d: A3 c6 `! \% kzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
2 ]) n0 E+ X zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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8 C- z$ w2 @6 m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# R* L" [9 ^6 ?" B% V' ?lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. J0 C7 l% f Y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# l/ D. O0 @4 Y) Evirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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