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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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}3 M, W6 }+ u 1. Bring your own house.# C8 h9 u+ p% g: Q7 D
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ I) ] {) g) y8 G, d( X
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." v% P9 s7 L1 e8 v! v( K! U- s5 K6 A
& V! k- I7 w. y, f: I2 V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ G4 M; \9 f S- Z2 G( `
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is; u7 E, M# b8 a+ y1 t2 B
$8.00/hour.
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, j4 h) e" u, [5 h, P4 R& d1 N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 |, h/ r( N$ Q1 v% B* y- x" D; S
8 i$ `- G& [0 I5 {3 I7 J v& j 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: q D; z( W& P/ o# U. ~7 s& {1 u
on a 15 year holiday ?
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2 F$ {5 F" u: j' o( ? 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas" {5 e& }4 x( \9 q2 R7 O1 y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ p4 }' f9 b& Q/ Q9 I$ m
here sick.7 F: M7 t3 u) L2 |! h
) g4 ?; J7 ~; j% X11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( m5 V3 i) ^" ^
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' q$ t) C2 P( W THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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$ z1 a0 o1 Z7 Q3 c# Z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# h9 Q) ^; `+ a3 Gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# j+ @. q6 X5 W1 p( Zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ V0 {/ H- R; mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
\( l# X4 w5 g M- E1 Hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! t' u5 o. O) B* p& j
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* M& b$ L3 {" o' \5 }* gcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 v+ \3 X3 Y6 p7 u
can get you shot.7 [; h6 W# l" H) M( e- q
! a+ m9 u2 i$ u1 E: T6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 h' u4 E N4 K5 v `
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. }3 b1 z$ A( d8 `% eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and Y2 D8 V7 W+ W( n) l
more construction starts everyday. x1 ~1 M& g: v0 K7 i8 Y1 t. c# n
: e0 I" r1 T7 B$ l 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" f& V W/ Y, {/ P" P. L7 x2 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: W! [( F. T( psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) y1 N/ H9 I! B
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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" p' p# T" S' B9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 \$ \$ C. b! w# ~4 Q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& |5 ~& J' Z R" b8 f6 [
activated.") ?3 H" @2 N7 o4 b
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur% ^+ s3 Z2 r& c" `" v/ d
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
