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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.: E3 i, ], ]4 F2 A$ ]3 c7 ~
9 m$ X) E5 {' j7 `9 ]+ Z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
* M$ P. B4 o1 ~1 e; N5 bcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ./ z7 P. E9 C9 ~. B8 L
" \. M, ]( ]3 v- o8 p/ V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# V" y4 n* ]- |' ~9 c R9 t9 M. acapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 v% D$ Z9 U+ Z* @
$8.00/hour.' B: ?: E- V3 {4 ?% K
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) X0 e s% [9 V
5 Z3 Z: [: r* W) f! ~ E5 `5 I 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money1 N$ R" E, O4 o* u% z
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 m# _; t$ y. jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' e! Y0 N+ f4 F) g o" T0 h/ f
here sick./ R) [/ z7 N: |0 h
/ d5 v( N5 \: l5 {; l" v: Y; P5 _11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12* C* q% |# q* U8 [% e k
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& C7 y, i; T5 M8 M( Z
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" u* ^0 c$ v) t K THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :2 K1 s; O. n: q- M
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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: `7 z2 a! i6 H' G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- T Z1 E3 ?% e+ H- cis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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( B. H: l5 m7 V4 l3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, a0 ?, c) H( h( K+ {own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ y& F5 ~& p- w' n1 ]
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% s& z" F: H3 R3 l$ C+ w: c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell' d% V, x/ w1 v: \. }. \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ g1 q- H3 M4 [/ m
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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6 |& `5 |% T- d7 s' l- M/ h5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that7 g$ Y+ F4 A+ u+ l. x" A v9 S
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" G# f% d# T8 Z6 G" j( e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' ]! P" I$ J( q4 W4 nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and! w1 u" ?$ M! D* |! s4 v/ i3 \: t' x
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 \, l. |- ?; Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: S2 |0 `* T8 s, h% y( F8 msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: K+ b9 l; s0 J
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 s0 l, i9 `$ C& Z: q. \
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
2 P& a: M' }% w( s' vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* P" i( ~+ z5 m( @1 U5 R- F
K' D. H1 y% _- _11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
: ?! ^7 Q- {) K) Y hlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 ]2 m0 E! S6 ]) _7 Q7 q4 }blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% v$ J- R4 j' W# i4 ]/ Y$ M( x6 Qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
