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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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/ X( Q+ l" \; v4 I Y0 d 1. Bring your own house.
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) @$ v+ w: N- N, e' E* J4 C; F; |: X! s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and# q" y: R/ J" U; _7 F8 ]: t
hospital.
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6 X; L2 k( |) K1 M% V 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& J5 j7 q' _/ e# Y$ w
capital of Canada .! {7 p: S6 N$ {! h: d- z
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: D5 v* q2 r, z9 W/ I) n 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; S$ c* e- ]: _/ Bcapital of Canada .: W; f4 C' Z1 K. B6 A
: ^3 L2 H5 n. {( G$ b9 Z( k& W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* A/ q" V! @8 A0 t
$8.00/hour.
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+ y) \" o* G9 O, a- X' D2 g 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ ^7 ?1 I/ @- E; O1 Z- t4 [on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas3 Y; h' S) J2 o8 O- T
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)5 D" V* b* e' T( q: n
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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& a! @ _* W, Y" h$ u0 S) ?11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 ]# S* e" f* b1 b' p) _: Q
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 O3 `1 W1 d+ m& K% R* b, t) T
8 T" ]3 |6 O5 u3 b; |2 x2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 t5 L$ S0 ^* m% ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% i9 ^' R# f: I" i( l' l7 T1 U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 l2 }# Z& V+ Q" C% _& K: eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# i/ }) e! ]& N) c& V: I7 Umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
e/ Q% B2 S2 [* W% Zgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell- I, L5 o1 M3 V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 S" a% y8 h) b {9 a+ x
/ E& F6 {6 J( Z8 i% \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, o, q' X/ N$ @. a" K+ ?2 N" C7 Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% X% Q' O+ ?6 F+ d6 D- _ b L3 \
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
Y, }& d: F5 N( `1 a2 w) Abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ h( q2 w9 C9 L2 }' K% S1 e+ F
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) @* m7 @8 s# j
more construction starts everyday.
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( ~( c p" |1 V2 ^0 L, ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 E9 [3 n& E, ^/ K7 X* G
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 a3 T2 V# v [, l: E' @. M4 ~* Jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) c0 x A" s) z0 ]' S8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 m& `1 `8 A/ r# G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km2 x6 d* c, o* m
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% F( F1 C& ~. b: o1 S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 T: o5 D- y; A: N7 ], E
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( b5 N- `5 r- o' L9 a, ?+ N6 w/ Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and e: Q h: u4 C: [) Y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ u4 w9 ?1 X- j; F9 e
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
