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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA8 |9 g- n  j# o: [
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1. Bring your own house., w4 X4 b$ p3 L. ?; W* G8 P

& ?. Q$ L( S0 O7 }4 C 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and0 O  G: f6 D4 B: P
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
8 v# I$ s' Q1 M  m* [% L/ ^. s0 `capital of Canada .: n1 Z3 t8 F5 U% ?& v

, X" C. s! k+ z9 C% M  e0 L0 ^ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 ^( d( ?7 C& v9 e( T7 _* F

- ]8 Z; D$ h2 S$ u" P; J  x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 B* n8 i% H. vcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 Z3 P4 E: M$ [* f/ ^8 F
$8.00/hour.* P! L/ H/ X' Y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" p6 \1 c" A8 [1 Xon a 15 year holiday ?8 ?0 D* c) ~4 k7 P( J
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ e( J- @, m0 z7 tprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 A( E+ k5 \' P6 o: _
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' b* n8 H- A/ H* ]$ R0 \ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour1 j: x+ a- w) q1 a" z' D7 \3 n
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% p8 x" i5 _0 B$ G3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 c8 s2 s4 y+ c! a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) p: Z. m# |# m/ I" ?: r) dmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
  U% i; U& ?7 A3 Y8 _$ H- I  p) ?go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 z) V& T. S$ g  e. S' ^1 T( s* A4 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 @6 S# T% H. S8 i. V( Ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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# `2 x* @5 F9 z# V; W' C- ?/ ^5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# p% f, J- K1 Y: }& ?
can get you shot.
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: F: R* m2 F- I) B6 Z6 D: y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ y, J/ z0 _- X4 c- ]2 R. c4 D' Y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ w, V+ ^! Y: n6 |day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' z6 F# N2 ^4 U) B4 Q7 I. A1 x& A& m
more construction starts everyday.5 b  O+ U' v3 r/ s  s. K

$ Q4 ]) W1 {+ t4 @5 `6 ]+ J  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! U' K1 y  U6 e6 t5 p8 v. ~: p2 T( pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 r" V7 y% w4 v/ csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 q/ j! Y" E6 U1 d. A3 V& i; G! R

# Q, x+ T, L! K8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 \$ [1 g% Q" p/ n- X( hthe same road.
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, A6 z) |9 D% l! N3 w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* A0 H* |8 Q7 o$ b% h- L7 K, t
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
9 [+ h1 a* v) ]8 c! J* hactivated."
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  f8 ]8 d, a& s' l% f3 X10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 y* k2 u) x2 T( C8 R
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 q% a' p+ x& G3 w" a' G/ g
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% z* u" s+ S! U% B5 t8 F% }lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and1 }3 g0 Y+ J/ }6 l
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- y" K" C4 j4 S7 g0 o) Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

) u/ y& s! M8 l2 W5 q9 q1 c有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。3 z/ n& x- h3 ]# q+ e
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
) u4 @: N* u+ n& X9 U有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : + v+ {% ^3 F# c1 P0 P9 t$ T" d
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 0 v& j0 X# V$ h# {0 u& r

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' \* _" E) h% b- Z! x( o7 Z[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% x0 L: y; a! D9 w6 n0 S7 r朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。) I2 P  ]7 r; L; F
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 [# L6 ^. U, h
...

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2 w- `0 @! H7 x/ Z$ I4 y* ?. f 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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: m+ @2 t( Q; r! |! n4 z 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?% I& `8 G0 H: V7 D2 y
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 % a+ ?/ C, [/ `" x4 h
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* O' A( B3 j( e( ]' \: l" q6 w
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。5 g1 U7 Z; f+ G  @
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。) u1 F; T  h/ s8 L

. }) ~1 `+ E) O5 [, W% C再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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