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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.) {' K( a* G: b: z) k; R
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 _1 s1 |4 {+ S4 {& K# ^capital of Canada .
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# J5 ~+ q7 m! h- w4 H# O) k! f 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .5 T4 h& I% I) ]& {
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" C0 e c& A$ _* q ]
$8.00/hour.
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8 s$ ^3 D. _, @# n# A/ p 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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& ~0 ]" |1 c2 M7 ?! E 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& c. Z: g' }" ?5 n7 Q- ]: Lon a 15 year holiday ?: H& F+ E- {) r9 _* N5 ^; I: v# a
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ f: m! [4 y- ?9 I# Y; @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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3 N# i5 s9 j [" D10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 U# Q( V( ~4 s9 r6 mhere sick.
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\& w, L8 q1 g8 j1 @) {11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 n4 K, d/ G( H) p' ~$ O8 U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 I* I' s5 f# F/ q5 l4 M, V
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 D( o$ s% j% f8 r9 O. b4 V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ". c( t3 Q$ `% x
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* E6 Z; v$ F! v @& E6 sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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7 ~2 o" d* h3 T+ e. @5 `. L3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its; S( W3 q- e, c9 E) w
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. d( V3 H! \& [muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- i4 j# [6 z2 F$ ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell! q4 \# w% U; U
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 w1 P& Z6 y' Q/ F3 S. C0 j4 W
, i' o" B, b1 g. t4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,- L8 c5 m2 c) y O+ B3 R2 U
cussed out, and possibly shot.) j1 C1 }% R# {
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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- n: s# d. s* H8 t: |* i3 k. Y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour `- e( c8 M' w5 v% R! `
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 S; c! Z# X* y$ s5 }! tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, o1 n9 R/ ]0 ~+ R: s: x5 Bmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 l4 n( y5 d; `. {$ Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) m2 H; }4 t% E# L4 fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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3 J1 O& ~. { `: r8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# \- ]& |/ K! z0 m3 {the same road.- l7 c0 j8 G' d) G: W# c
9 ^% t$ E% h* b' Y5 g! D% b2 j9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& C2 Y8 D9 H8 o* ?+ a; D( M
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally& u& t1 F& T$ @; N( t
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; ] J9 B6 g0 K4 F" j; x8 J# g4 T
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* j; A3 a$ t& C. ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ A$ n. y k7 r0 j- R) N& e# S
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# f. f4 |) F Alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 t/ X- t" y* Eblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
$ U, j3 G' J/ E# B' N: @! l. \7 i- Vvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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