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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. D# v& H5 m2 ~7 F/ {! v
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+ U2 _4 X7 W" y L: w. h" F2 J 1. Bring your own house.
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7 ~3 C3 A# m7 Q) Z% ` 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and& D( N$ j% L% y
hospital.: C" `( Z) b: G
3 e% B1 W! x! z9 T! \" T/ n 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder; z' @1 I* b9 S7 R
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 } S9 i- n2 g$8.00/hour.9 m" Y, B0 c5 f; ~* n$ g
! \ i, C/ v y+ f7 f0 Y 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 @. V. Q% B8 `8 N$ w% e* D
on a 15 year holiday ? Z, m! { a2 e6 W/ [1 J3 i, { ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 p3 f# Y3 `$ y6 f$ G* H) {prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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$ |. P/ V6 ?( z N4 Z3 x8 A3 x10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! q W; f& n2 t3 J4 @, A
here sick.: w; h4 e8 E0 q1 h) ?9 @6 G
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& r* t8 l4 P8 o6 p) y& I
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( G$ @) e j- Q2 _
: j& W. Z( F( _$ O1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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- o* R9 D: T( D, |: ~$ g2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour" ~! J9 m' f8 k9 @( P/ K
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its$ h: _4 Q) F1 I- G ]
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 y) P: a. g3 z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* t# s( c6 r1 H) d& g
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: u+ |. C% f' U1 O
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% n6 f g. j' h# B
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 p4 W# D0 T2 N! acussed out, and possibly shot.6 u3 V5 O0 E7 q8 z/ c
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ U A" G6 j7 {3 M8 z3 U8 U- v
can get you shot.4 U' ?1 V- b. y: c: ?! ~) y
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 J* d7 K5 K9 ^4 @" D; ~ p) l
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ {+ z) g' F- K5 d1 j- t0 kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 R; c# J* p: c6 P
more construction starts everyday.. G$ a2 I6 l% i N
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
" |: e. |* P) P) N' W8 L# F# [* Kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ ?( D" A( o! L7 o( Usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items./ B( U+ I7 ` g3 C: }" d- o
* F9 E9 M8 C; e; W! ?8 d8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
0 ~5 h8 C+ C* ]4 ?the same road.' c8 s; K/ `; G$ V4 T; M, i% G
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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7 N6 a8 l. o3 }$ ~% d- \% e* K10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- r i" t' u+ h v3 x y# _5 k6 z; f
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": s8 E" i& z3 Y) {
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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) a% D# f* U* `* J$ [11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# q5 q, u7 D* q! d" U* R8 Nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and' ?; F& m; M( D- o% F9 V# p' x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- v- p: S8 m; } V; G6 O3 t
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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