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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 D" n3 o0 Y% k4 p' W1 K 1. Bring your own house.
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; I( N: J# ^$ R" R9 r0 k1 O 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 Y8 A* n# z. M! R& J6 R9 _
hospital.. W1 _' r& R5 c' A: \

( ^5 p/ X  E. @ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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) k0 j& X. L2 P3 {$ J8 s 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .$ u; P$ p: U, @( r4 P9 ?) ^

! C; C# `# X" ?( n! }( F3 O 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- `' S+ f& c/ Q& q
capital of Canada .4 Z8 @$ B2 u3 l

. b  S6 A) a, ~ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ e! Q' b6 O1 f1 B3 C; J
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ i* i8 y  `" {4 z
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, z9 r; X- j% z' J- I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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# T, y4 b  O6 r4 O. E; {. G- V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 V9 V+ ^0 B+ w( Y9 B5 Ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 ^7 y; S# R$ e, {0 b& {6 i
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( r4 b0 x7 H7 k! b  x
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 D/ y8 M- N, C9 i
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 t/ O% O1 z0 X4 {) {# N# Z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ u) e2 U% Q" w0 g7 S5 _; _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, b+ q' G: p% pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ N5 K$ o9 j2 l: K9 B7 _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 T, z' H- u4 Y  S% F; U4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( L% g& m- b, Z2 i( E# Q% C
cussed out, and possibly shot.2 m! B: \3 W1 {5 @
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: H) P" b- W0 I# }9 Y( x+ V8 R
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( T1 g3 o# K1 t" b+ u
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. ^7 K4 y5 o3 i4 Imore construction starts everyday.2 y2 U- O2 Y6 J  s
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* q( N6 ?2 V: E5 q7 B6 J
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ x1 q( q; Q( D2 R) Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- s0 m, A' u8 K7 `  L/ Q
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 Y8 _6 _, F: E/ D# ~3 Gthe same road.% \3 V7 c: P2 {# V+ c: `0 }

4 c7 M4 @& T  h1 x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the- ~% Z  h9 @; r7 ~2 E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km9 X& g# ~; Q; e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ s) g3 C) Z$ F3 ^: oaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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. A8 t) R6 F+ e! @% Y11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ w# s0 K/ _' N5 U+ K# C5 @! r
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, w" Q; g+ Q3 J0 X3 N4 J  t
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- h1 j7 ?' Q5 B2 v1 [( O  o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
: W& t) M) B: k# \1 Y满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
6 M* Z1 |3 A+ t% d5 U有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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: v) ]- ?1 m* F此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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" P- J$ E% G3 _1 B  S/ k2 t& @9 Q[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
  t& y1 k0 J3 J朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。. N, h2 O% B% z& ^; _7 a
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。# Y2 v: w/ t) d, Q" T
...

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4 B2 ^) C3 E. [, H6 x 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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& z9 K3 O! j" Y 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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7 J' Z" B9 U- }. w4 ]1 `$ {这么刺痛你了吗?7 R/ O5 u+ z1 e% w( [
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ' y6 L9 |/ E" [, C) i
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* ?. S6 O$ e1 M" `" e' R
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。7 Z* t0 J( P/ G2 [" d; M8 r& a+ d
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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* M  R: b) L0 Q再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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