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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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3 D" n3 o0 Y% k4 p' W1 K 1. Bring your own house.
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; I( N: J# ^$ R" R9 r0 k1 O 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 Y8 A* n# z. M! R& J6 R9 _
hospital.. W1 _' r& R5 c' A: \
( ^5 p/ X E. @ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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) k0 j& X. L2 P3 {$ J8 s 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .$ u; P$ p: U, @( r4 P9 ?) ^
! C; C# `# X" ?( n! }( F3 O 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- `' S+ f& c/ Q& q
capital of Canada .4 Z8 @$ B2 u3 l
. b S6 A) a, ~ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ e! Q' b6 O1 f1 B3 C; J
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ i* i8 y `" {4 z
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, z9 r; X- j% z' J- I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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# T, y4 b O6 r4 O. E; {. G- V10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
7 z* L0 r5 I5 T$ t; Lhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 V9 V+ ^0 B+ w( Y9 B5 Ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 ^7 y; S# R$ e, {0 b& {6 i
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( r4 b0 x7 H7 k! b x
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.1 D/ y8 M- N, C9 i
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 t/ O% O1 z0 X4 {) {# N# Z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ u) e2 U% Q" w0 g7 S5 _; _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, b+ q' G: p% pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ N5 K$ o9 j2 l: K9 B7 _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 T, z' H- u4 Y S% F; U4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( L% g& m- b, Z2 i( E# Q% C
cussed out, and possibly shot.2 m! B: \3 W1 {5 @
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 v: ?0 e2 I% ?5 i/ {5 @+ scan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: H) P" b- W0 I# }9 Y( x+ V8 R
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( T1 g3 o# K1 t" b+ u
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. ^7 K4 y5 o3 i4 Imore construction starts everyday.2 y2 U- O2 Y6 J s
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* q( N6 ?2 V: E5 q7 B6 J
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ x1 q( q; Q( D2 R) Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- s0 m, A' u8 K7 ` L/ Q
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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4 c7 M4 @& T h1 x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the- ~% Z h9 @; r7 ~2 E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km9 X& g# ~; Q; e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ s) g3 C) Z$ F3 ^: oaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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. A8 t) R6 F+ e! @% Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ w# s0 K/ _' N5 U+ K# C5 @! r
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, w" Q; g+ Q3 J0 X3 N4 J t
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- h1 j7 ?' Q5 B2 v1 [( O o
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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