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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: s4 x" T/ M( G, Q5 n* c3 Y
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1. Bring your own house.
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. k: h' |8 k8 W$ o! A6 I 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 D! Y4 U' b4 h1 J' A% ]3 W' k4 t- A
hospital.
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# O+ O) f% S; d2 A' L1 k- V- ?0 [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ Z( R4 o) o; X, I$ Ecapital of Canada .+ |+ U( w) O/ S! f: f" X
2 p5 b: c* u4 d: f! S7 W 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .- j9 b/ x9 a. k: S* @
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: k8 h9 [( A2 n9 X: l% fcapital of Canada .
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E2 {8 A- b2 A/ q1 C- M' q) c- W 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" L4 H. I) P$ x6 }, A2 ]: M$ X
$8.00/hour./ d Y( |- {0 `) ?2 L& q
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.* v( M: H: l) y7 l, B. f
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 B" I% I( G8 P7 Ron a 15 year holiday ?
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8 y: l/ O7 [" c, R% \ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
+ |7 w6 e: T; lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' e9 C- x4 F" j8 s4 {, [2 T
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come5 c# w* F! j7 `0 X/ T! \
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& m5 i& A+ v3 D& u1 [0 G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; m1 `5 V) N$ `% B5 r5 r j" O
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# h: O( L* W7 Z. q# M# u7 t THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% t; o0 W# K& ]& e/ Y( Q0 R
) E$ k2 P3 E! {( h( l1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 B1 W& K5 h( q( j$ q6 g
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ E& v3 Z! h% U$ H' J# k& vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 {8 b i* X0 }$ S5 O) c5 g) Q) Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 V% x. e' }" F, U
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* h3 d, B5 G1 \! f0 [8 gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 S' G: v4 |% K8 x) T8 K5 V
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
4 [6 D' ^7 R( dcan get you shot.8 Q" ^0 U8 u- J- h
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour) l9 D. ?/ U$ J5 F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ B( W0 [6 i5 f
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 |. |; f+ T+ }8 z, M6 qmore construction starts everyday.
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. h/ n' D( |1 h0 L& ?- T 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,% b# ]3 ]' Q; A* i4 u" z, M
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: E2 r' q# D* p, _6 ?squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 A c7 I5 ^# H( r$ A: K7 O* |
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all5 {" P2 ]" P) j/ ~
the same road. `2 k( t: V+ a/ |2 `( ^, _4 D
$ O: w: J3 u7 r- I: U5 e: w0 u9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 m8 Y- j0 s; T. W- U; w
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; e. Z4 ?* w6 {" {, I
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; D$ k) k6 z+ w( ?- d5 S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 ]& y1 H3 E0 O$ Q$ iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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) {0 O. F# X1 ]- ~5 z6 L- M, T11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ z" w3 v/ T C; mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 e m6 W$ ]! X& u* T& R
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is, X3 U, u, g! p/ g( d
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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