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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" A& ~, E' W2 f& Y9 n
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7 P9 ?: {; `- f |% P 1. Bring your own house.# k# Z9 {7 E' t) N+ s4 b
, U3 _$ x2 @4 G 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 C7 N7 o8 k. z/ c2 {$ C7 N! Y0 T
hospital.5 C4 k* I' e. s2 ^+ l4 m4 G! N2 F
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder3 t4 Y, U8 s" o9 m/ a1 U
capital of Canada ." [6 q& h7 \! B, e, J- q; O
( T. S! Q) L: g# X( D4 _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .- U8 }( e% K2 m4 q/ L# i
. c. \, [3 ^& V3 R/ e# j 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 C) E* A" J0 n' S" O. T5 k- p
capital of Canada .
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1 ~$ o# v! \- K 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 u4 e$ _* `0 P8 X
$8.00/hour.
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; x. j/ y: N: a5 F h 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 S9 B' K/ m6 S" f- p, m M
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ ]5 X4 W8 x# \2 c! Aon a 15 year holiday ?' f. R$ o, K: w
~# a4 P& |- O: K3 g6 C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 b# U" K: H/ |$ C1 I; h, ~0 Eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 K) l8 g _0 R' W I+ k
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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+ g4 ~ U! X8 O2 V$ R) j, K11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' D& }! x# i2 K0 B9 j0 G3 \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! P/ y" R8 ?1 s1 _: h- v$ E
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& B/ ~6 j/ t" T* U- u0 z2 T2 B THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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/ |# U5 b* f! j+ @" ?4 Y. X1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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7 P2 O/ O# k% [) @% n" f2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- l3 E& n- N$ L" b& q' r- c, ]# ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 A0 a' q( {( a* X8 H; E- d' s6 `8 x
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest" T8 t9 b5 D7 {+ {4 d
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- F, |/ E8 ^; h4 c) W+ j. O
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
6 A. B l; M1 Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ X7 Z2 h o0 d1 C: a& `cussed out, and possibly shot.
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% P6 I6 K* T* B8 B, u' a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 Q: x' O) G" M: S: k, k
can get you shot.' E; |; S0 {- \* q" U$ i
, A- c# r$ m+ }6 O' K& W& v+ t: v0 ]6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. H% S4 C# N4 B$ g, |barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
G8 R5 b0 f$ e% D9 c3 yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' F. r# O% d/ X# T6 G
more construction starts everyday.( s5 N% n! r" I/ `4 L
* J) S5 d! P6 U E1 k4 o 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
E0 m5 S O7 A$ d9 P" j3 ^* B- tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
& y7 J" d2 K7 W' y |! N) m* @squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.9 j P: z: N" q3 C
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 Q# x+ x3 q! x0 [+ C9 \the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 l5 N# S( h2 u1 `. F7 x! c7 kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 q( y/ t/ b- M2 c( m" L& ?
activated."" k2 k: a' T% b& g7 ?" P
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( s3 r2 z& O, G' ]: e4 M0 V
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 Q7 ?2 h" [; r Q1 U6 u3 G1 Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ K& w+ P" C4 L. X X& Q: \' {
& W& _/ p& ?* ~& a& X& M0 t9 @11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& O: d* b+ l' ^$ ], _& Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 k) {. W9 t- h, y+ m
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 v& L) k5 c9 S+ Z# A
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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