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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; t- S9 _' H' g5 s! p
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" b4 M. L, ?' Q4 r5 }0 l7 i
hospital., P8 q1 O) d9 U
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
X( U% r- `( H" M; G* d% ?capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .5 X+ q/ B l5 @7 N4 z3 m
. k' @6 F% g$ |4 y. D; R 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
* O3 C. P5 [1 |0 B" [3 ucapital of Canada .+ A! U& R& K/ e$ }- N
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 T. j& R( Z) H) n5 R8 Z9 k
$8.00/hour.* G* X" q. u4 S# V {7 V; }
5 i' Y" [8 s4 O7 t+ M; Q 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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[+ x8 O, W- F7 R+ |) P 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. S6 |( \+ Z' G& p: |. N( `. c
on a 15 year holiday ?- {0 U$ N; v7 B
6 J( J6 G. D4 Q- Q& |4 W3 ^2 u4 S 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 y( C! K" U5 J1 Z* Fprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)9 e" d* u7 K9 A" Y, L: D
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come: k Z& c' t& d4 j$ I( a( B. s
here sick.0 Z0 k' c" P n( W
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 V' E1 o9 R H4 H* x, e" Z
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".0 V2 J$ ?/ F! [5 Q( p/ e
+ A) m0 Y5 t, Z4 W2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) B7 x$ v# ^/ c2 z# j0 W$ c' ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 C* m+ T) o# j7 r3 X/ D L/ e7 y% ^own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest9 N9 u1 k0 F% S& U) r
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# }5 m$ ?* U- e+ {9 C: z. `4 m& @go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. s$ S F2 |0 h/ q( D# Jphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* L0 X: k" c! `
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; F: I! Z) N% q* v+ T' q
cussed out, and possibly shot.; P7 C1 b, s% M6 @
$ W+ v- f& j/ k* g* v5 k6 x6 S5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 X5 X7 ]) h$ @
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 _& E i+ u Zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ y5 k% j, h, F+ `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& _. C% j- R2 u
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 Q1 }* ]' \2 }, f ~- S& c0 m
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, K- r0 x8 P$ |" i! l) Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: A% I; G: u9 N: D" |, }/ r9 Sthe same road.
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* o3 M+ z$ l, e+ F7 ]! s& }& ]9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 o% j' q1 A ^% F& b7 kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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' R- D* |, n/ M! q3 W+ G: a6 |* X1 h10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km) w- B. o. u7 I0 X' c J
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ Q6 K) A# e/ \9 Y( q" \4 e- B
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. ~; I& B3 v/ s1 o! V& Y w- G
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* M. k: m9 j, ], n/ V) ~! u, |' Q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% a& B$ j7 e8 V( ^3 Xblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; ~& W/ @5 k: Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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