送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA

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: y" A3 R/ P  g. M$ Q 1. Bring your own house.

* r$ C$ `' e; _% C7 F' B* y7 w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
; N5 |! ]9 W/ }; D* m& Jhospital.

% J2 h" B; V4 v5 w% s# Z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
- v) R2 S# }: \2 u$ |capital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

+ A* V+ |0 E" I9 A  O' _# o 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
capital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

& y. g  `5 J6 X; w1 s# T2 R% b! M 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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5 \2 M. @+ [. p10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; N+ E% j; V6 ^( ?- Q; ^# K! D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

8 L) \5 |) ^, A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

1 s% X; V% d7 o% E! `8 s2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
  a8 K0 u/ G" X- v, A) @8 Lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 k' v  ^% q4 v1 `2 k# iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( g6 \) ^+ X1 w6 Y8 Zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) u9 I6 E* E% O4 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

2 S6 [/ a" `. t2 I% v5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ T6 P' K/ i$ Y, smore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* a3 q% W1 d2 E) J( y6 Wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

  s6 g: z( N, S. U  L  U8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, \" @9 e1 v1 B3 t2 w+ Nthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ w, z* R5 B3 z9 x( t, f9 {shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
7 V5 K) S1 A4 D& H4 T6 Gactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
3 D" j. w  i: H# k! Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

( P6 a/ V& |4 c3 O& l# |8 T7 k11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) }- y. M% Y( U! t' @8 P/ O. }lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' ?/ G2 l2 T( L) svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来


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( F# }+ p, f* ^) {, q) k) d[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
5 ?3 N! Q0 q3 u4 U! b/ F6 v0 K满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

4 f) g, Y! e# l* Z+ L9 O8 I你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.