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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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* c4 s0 o. s- M2 ~( U- }2 R5 |& R 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( V/ ?9 N7 [( b4 }
hospital.9 f" l, i5 D. ]- y5 [
7 x' ^! x4 @( W4 _# I1 \% s& R 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# w9 D# d8 f/ C
capital of Canada .2 p7 ^: z& u7 H" j) _
' k8 b |% s+ P7 G0 C5 F( L% V 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .6 j9 m! M6 s* Q5 P
' @3 j7 D' H' {! N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( K* i' {, `) Y9 \. H0 Scapital of Canada .
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. E$ w8 ?/ M/ ?: P; E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; I- r7 v" h4 M4 X! E. l8 y, t$8.00/hour.2 I; K- ]: i. T5 y3 t* D0 A/ r% ? n
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ I) F5 C- O! B$ ~3 O
on a 15 year holiday ?9 B" J" M- p) S/ q. E- y! z8 B
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! |. G2 S0 ]! {/ C, C7 H/ ]prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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+ J1 s0 Q) o c. c10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come( g& r4 ^2 W0 C( H( m3 S& F
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" `7 N( o' x: v7 K( F* d; e
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ J9 n, l) @# K- @% }4 U" x% P
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6 z1 n9 Z" ?* c9 Z- k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 l- E! o* F/ M7 V- M% ^" Y" O) i2 \
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) P( B; C3 O6 G% b
8 t# o# U3 b& a% c Q% _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 n9 O7 H' \9 Q! lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, L8 G2 l3 Z5 E a& q; Q/ l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 Z* p# W0 u9 x: O% E0 C% _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# X. T* m- g8 S- H8 f9 @go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- M+ r: I2 n& V) Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.: E r8 c, R% A" e
- i' w- d, z2 i6 ?( }) K0 n4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- b# k, ^5 F; O' E* |& Qcussed out, and possibly shot.) |- H, [0 ^5 Z; s. }8 l7 b- f0 W( C% J% _
; H$ ]6 u- b; S% Q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 q" T* @2 @( [9 Y- O W Pcan get you shot.1 P6 C# r5 e7 i' f7 e
) U* g. c# |9 }: C& Q: \! E6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 q+ Z# e g) c+ `8 i
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ s' C. Z0 b m7 _8 u
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 X! ]( s. y2 Y- n6 F' g: gmore construction starts everyday.7 Z$ w0 v/ ~2 r6 z- I# v
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( A1 A0 g: [! Y4 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 V% o0 ]* J4 b" k, Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 C( W) i( U3 @4 P* D
* \- z" E2 u1 E! B' i. A8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ {2 `; } ]4 R3 a
the same road.
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* H) {, |: I- Q, o; N3 f( [9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
6 n5 C5 J! h$ V& r4 \/ g+ ]3 ]shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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/ I; o2 Y) q+ _# x+ t- y, X10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km3 Y2 b( Y" H# {
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- S$ C ^, q+ E) V6 h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& t: t# |) ^+ M. [$ b
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- u& Y. q2 u I% f1 A4 mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% s: t+ ?+ H7 L1 Tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 z0 P% g* @# \: Z8 t( Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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