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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA0 S; e6 j. D9 a: C, H* D* Q
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1. Bring your own house.% h' B1 S/ B5 p- T2 [# w
5 l! V. ~1 m, \5 r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ m- {+ Y8 z( w7 k( ~# p( i4 ~' H% w7 Z
hospital.6 R& B$ `$ e0 X; A; E) w3 C/ Q
5 o0 K5 i* f. U* x e" S0 B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 [6 P9 s( A" h+ n
capital of Canada .
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E l+ t" i# p7 I" y7 t& {. K 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada . [: w7 D- u7 Y* w1 V" z8 s
# d; h1 K+ k/ q) k0 x 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# w+ L; d7 y; E$ _1 h5 O% X2 ^. W
capital of Canada .( s; y6 k( W( o/ R. J; Y1 U
, f; P( b! M8 C9 U7 x) z+ `7 [ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
# T" u( s% L/ E% U+ t6 q$8.00/hour." z" D7 Y3 h Z8 \& z% F% s9 z
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 ~- E+ I* z3 V4 }8 `; l3 Kon a 15 year holiday ?' }4 W1 G: P+ y% G
1 |+ K6 t% h& S) b, i$ l7 { 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" x5 T# o2 K4 d5 l/ y) }& c: E8 Iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)& ^! l j4 @- o: _
1 E, d" @0 }9 U" R: H10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
1 Y' Q' L, x- X0 T. @5 H* Rhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# c5 R. V; d, @
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' g d) v' n! O) i+ ], ~ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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! L! E8 G y& a5 O' J1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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0 G' i( {9 y, Q! a _% _9 ~2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
% Y3 p) Y# G9 U, u+ y' ~6 ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
" l! ~" B" ~8 o: D, P/ U" @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' C9 x' A! a1 e2 C
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* E/ o6 A6 Y% t" `, Lgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 i7 D' m5 o! a, ]/ r8 w, Z% L
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) ~) L3 ^3 y3 f5 L7 ?" b
& @/ c$ G1 ]3 T4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- Y* \' ~! c. Mcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 a9 z) q* `$ z
can get you shot.
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( N5 E& W# u9 @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% [1 K- C2 q& y4 S, p' I# }
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% i1 E! q& n& Q5 c. f9 l1 L: T
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& E5 ]$ X6 Z1 {( b) u7 L' K; ]more construction starts everyday., B5 i n& H: o1 d t
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; q8 v8 V+ d" P7 M, Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 a. [1 f$ X# F- v) M; L: A
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- y- m3 K: Q P8 K% \" O1 H
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
: c' l# O# a5 c+ }the same road. r$ r5 X6 B( M& s
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ |8 ~3 r& c& q2 L# t6 r: L9 Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally2 n* S( {' j% C3 t! R Z6 D7 W
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
, m/ l, v3 E) P' |# i( Izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off": _4 B' R: e' z# j! o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot." ]7 N7 ~& X" E4 c# f; x
/ D+ I, Q% K1 O5 F8 @1 s4 E7 l11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur U' |0 B+ d; P. X0 D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and1 c# w" d( G( w0 R! x
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 ?0 f0 M1 n' L% N( Uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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