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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
. a+ y$ f% R( J% x* t/ I' N) @hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 n2 H4 m9 V8 @. r+ k4 Rcapital of Canada ., p7 n3 L, U( v$ G" Y

( G; }2 J# W, v$ G: Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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) d! w6 S' |! o, H 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! f0 ~/ c1 F6 _% bcapital of Canada .# l! Q0 J+ a! n3 i$ O4 T" }; T

7 x3 h/ e/ I1 W. M: A 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* b8 I2 p' O) f9 |$ ?" h# E
$8.00/hour.5 w, B* [0 A8 Y$ J- d& s
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.  Z4 \0 l9 J# M  k  I2 A

# `+ {& H0 |3 @" M) L5 e  Q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; C! D& a/ v" V& ^4 b
on a 15 year holiday ?/ _3 _# O" ?, S6 Z, {  c; N  P

. |) b8 |) x% M0 Z% K 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, I7 ^; [0 C6 H' c! P$ hprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)# X5 ]7 M0 x' ^: P& ?
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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9 N. L! ?/ p) `+ V11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; _' g0 J% c! l! Y. S
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 S- s# d0 M/ Z

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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6 y9 x# i+ B& H5 t+ B1 S2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
3 ~; v5 G) [  c% d, F) |  v# U3 lis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) n, h0 n% ]- z8 a* v% t5 {! u

4 C% q2 U  M; ^( Y3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! D; f! e3 }( O- i- H$ B0 @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- u- z+ k) I$ D" Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 f0 L1 d; Q% S9 l0 k, Y4 e# o
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- ]- p* m3 i9 E! [phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( W$ B6 a( t0 v9 e
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( t6 \6 \$ Y+ u
cussed out, and possibly shot.: `9 o$ J8 ^, Q0 Z6 ]- |% ]4 _
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 v2 A+ Z5 m# Y
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: r. d3 `- U6 X5 ?* x9 t
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. _& s5 i$ T1 R1 t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% u& J! g& [; d7 y9 a3 |more construction starts everyday.4 m# m; A! r7 u0 @& D: C2 M1 E

. h! T# Q4 |8 a1 E4 I  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
- H. _& a) l+ z5 u8 ^0 Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 n' T- u" x5 `6 I4 e1 rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.4 n4 p8 c# \1 ~

8 d( r: Q. O& g' ?) E* K7 _+ r1 K8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* F/ I" f9 ^; [/ W- Wthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# {# |, P" V. }: t( _; o5 yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally% J5 Y6 K& C8 ]! `" }* ^
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& h4 @/ t6 d! A9 W# Gzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") U" V8 }# c- H' t  v7 C  x: T# t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# U9 v: j0 w7 E  D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 B( B$ U4 ~5 K' c( O! n# v; Yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& b! n$ }/ P, v  @
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

% r5 S/ O$ Y1 u2 ?5 v有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
! _2 ~! H; a: I0 p* M7 c0 q满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
- ~, Y# l/ {2 q" ~( E* W有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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; _9 j1 O6 e) G' |# p! G' ~此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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$ C9 q4 `2 d" Z' O3 @[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 + [) v9 A4 s# O8 f( B9 t- `$ C3 F
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
# K7 M6 Z+ P1 D9 z  U% x: i9 h; q# \+ f满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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! T: l& j0 K5 J; B 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?9 V, k" s4 r9 [& u

. A9 R; u& S- R我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 4 n8 c' W5 y" L6 P9 g1 I9 V7 q! x
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。3 |# G. ~) v) J, f0 S' w5 H
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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  V- e, Q* e9 C( A& S" ]6 N再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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