送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA


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1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

6 {' J) F8 M1 }7 V; I2 j4 U 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

3 y, B1 W. i! H4 T9 A8 i 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" C9 p7 d$ q( D0 ocapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
8 L, L  d/ a4 M! F- I, U; p5 w$8.00/hour.
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$ ~$ d2 Y* ]: Z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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; t1 f! h$ w) S: T: n* ~/ H  C% g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: K4 ?2 G9 k7 v+ P0 }- Qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( k- N$ n  J+ D+ z( e6 k/ |prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.

, i! U% m6 l2 K2 ]  W9 K3 S11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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" K# Q' c1 f* y. U# d$ ?! w6 e* u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 y( b: f5 M% J7 vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

0 V4 S2 A9 j3 K' F8 J; f5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
; k/ h" z% y- B/ w2 a3 A; xcan get you shot.
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3 w8 n+ `/ Q4 z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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) ~( c5 O0 l0 [& K8 j9 X& b1 u  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ i& l9 _4 W1 x  x% c. W/ Vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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' L' v" }. ]# q5 r( D8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
" e, S$ V  ]$ Wthe same road.
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- Q  G( E% `4 D  I" Z0 r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 c2 O% U/ ~% [2 l' ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ A4 o' d1 [& s! C$ I3 r4 U5 caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* o3 Y( a- W3 [3 Q, A% ~8 y! A; Blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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" K8 r! h, d% j+ W4 }[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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# L; C, C* S6 ? 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？
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. X( x/ B/ b3 k, i8 D* S我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
9 J+ L4 O8 |9 O& d朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
8 B0 ^" F  D' z- Z$ o满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

9 n6 H5 @9 g! X6 d* |再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.