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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# a' B6 ^# @: G9 p8 q6 f5 B# \

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7 P" o! X+ E( S5 R4 q: d6 m$ u 1. Bring your own house.
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: z& B& |  I# q6 i& i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- T+ ?) ~/ G8 a" g$ H$ ?
hospital.# U% v0 j/ ?2 R

8 G0 p# ?% D: ]8 x 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder7 M  W' a$ t5 O& i
capital of Canada .( ~$ C/ l* x: r) P( ~. W

! x% ~# T  Y7 H& E' K 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 J; T% F1 l/ y' A" u4 Vcapital of Canada .
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" s, T' q" b5 E 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& a8 M  A/ P" x: T$ Y
$8.00/hour.
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- T( M1 T+ f, ?# C& x4 V$ i 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 ?9 w- @6 u9 B2 Z
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 O) l8 \( Z4 s! t9 \
on a 15 year holiday ?" N1 q- ?- w3 g9 v; i# o
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, E2 t3 B3 K6 D- ~7 z4 eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 a6 n/ t. z& j+ y; E0 e9 a! v

7 P  e; v' M0 J. v) ?; j) Y10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ R6 V: i5 I# ahere sick.
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  N- T( M% ~7 k9 R11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 S' [5 p  V' a+ _/ C* W1 ?7 U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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4 j% o0 B' H( a6 f5 F: U2 `# ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 v; c9 Z1 F9 {. K& U1 f4 ?

* V/ u9 O4 J0 O2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" K) a2 M5 l0 \, q! p/ _/ N2 k4 Ris from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ ]% R6 D' K: o9 C% P9 I2 t
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 O% w4 l' Z- ^) w7 |6 kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) p7 Q; c8 c7 W% T  @. P& Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ Y3 Q. P& I5 \1 L1 L+ ]# n6 [1 t) @go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell  V1 L! \1 H; P* m0 V: N, t+ p3 Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ t! S8 ]: I. h8 O+ _4 W
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 r1 f: H! w& q" x, X5 w8 Z
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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8 y' b# K" M! x. S  T5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 K5 Z5 C& z! kcan get you shot.
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5 [( E7 _- S  i+ V6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ L( c" J2 @9 `# B8 I* e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next" T! ^7 b& o, l; g4 h
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 O4 S, M' e+ ~" e6 I2 `! f* q, V, L! Umore construction starts everyday.* V2 N) \. a" h0 v' t+ b; h

6 @1 j( x3 ~& @- ]  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# Q. x8 s$ K9 A. e- |# \' v# R/ p! H8 j
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# J+ Q4 |. P  |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., Z2 |2 O( i; _9 j3 d$ q/ ?; e
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
  T7 c2 v4 Y. [9 nthe same road.3 _, B: n- h7 p/ j2 r* T: s
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) N. d8 c+ A% u* h* o" P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.  n+ o) X+ k& w- B7 S% X/ z
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" A0 o$ L& I  S7 U; T' k0 z# B
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 Z: g, j, G# U9 d% m3 _blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# s  O. }, w) j. D) ?  i
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

& D5 d, t$ }* Y0 }" S有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。/ ~$ b7 T9 d1 C- X8 I, A2 L
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
/ [7 s, G1 T/ Z4 F$ w$ m5 R' a有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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& m/ g+ b! l+ R0 c/ P, y4 j6 Y' Z( e此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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1 U" {6 m8 R0 D! P. x( I5 n[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表   E( T& q* H! ]& `% B3 J7 R) t7 j+ Z
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。4 P" Z) T8 ?4 _/ r
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。& Y- v7 P: @. [+ Z/ _9 e) w
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 $ n5 o6 B& h; |' E( m0 e

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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. u2 Z7 T- n( f/ x8 N7 @这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% r2 c  a- Y& e5 N, Z0 R朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。3 V5 F, c2 W0 l
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。/ [7 d2 p5 |7 C" V$ N: D( b; q
...

% ~4 D1 |) J7 a" B) L$ s你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。2 H  I: A) P' F. v- r" l

3 k8 X/ H2 I+ @0 k再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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