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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.* E1 Q) ?0 v! e2 B' O g
9 H3 H# @1 d4 b9 R: q. [7 Q" Y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% S- H/ f7 U8 Z4 c4 j5 O9 `' ?7 v
hospital.& m! f8 n5 i+ ^3 G6 L" J7 q( c
6 Q* m' {& Q( M! T! v1 C" d 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
. P, F9 C: E+ {9 U3 \. Q* vcapital of Canada .- G* U" {) K$ C; s- g+ o* o
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) c' H0 s6 x9 \" M* U! K v& _9 ]; c
capital of Canada .: B6 x ]4 U/ F/ k
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 N4 p0 |, d7 g
$8.00/hour.# E1 Y8 P% t- v t4 U" d
) A2 ^/ \; Z. K7 r) n) z6 O 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
5 ]8 d1 V3 d9 Uon a 15 year holiday ?
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: u+ a& N9 I+ M# q* d) P 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: `3 x( V+ Y2 h- _3 vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" O. w# J( i9 \/ [' z4 P9 K# o
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& D: c. p$ N4 K; a
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :9 r% b- J/ R) L! W9 S
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( w2 A; F5 g- [4 r9 b' L/ U; p4 D
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.( L2 d9 P* Y6 ]* a$ u# ?
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! T3 u; S3 ^( n; g3 h ~- D$ Uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) I; ?. R, `: E" @ {
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 f d6 w, a z1 Q8 cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" Q5 a+ u8 x( J) g. l1 Qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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. g6 Y2 }: Z b# A2 j& \4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 I2 q: @0 n4 v$ R, `# @$ z# h' Kcussed out, and possibly shot.: ?8 u/ U: o7 D6 u$ u; |
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, l( M" v- r. m" c" e
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ Z- [0 U& l3 G& g( S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday.4 e2 i+ Z8 ^$ ~" B4 _
: T! P- J# l4 L; S3 y3 c 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, r+ F: o* E2 M) G
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 z* ^6 T* z% `0 s2 @
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 q/ N" f+ T( g2 d, M7 a* z
& O0 u5 b4 q% Q8 C* N- }" u8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all7 p. Y. Q( I: V. ~! y$ {3 G) E7 q- h, Q/ {
the same road.8 c4 Z$ P7 Y% L) D
: x! O# \0 a4 E9 p' T9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 Q4 D5 j# Q3 I+ V& ]% d+ P# a
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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2 D w) a2 j( x& a7 C- o10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 j' r' V a$ ~) b I' e8 b: w3 M1 jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
) \. O; P; g2 i! X; V" t+ N0 baccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* I# Q& n1 ?; Z) `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 Y9 j+ c, Q" q) @ Wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* }& t( Z6 Y ?& c5 Vvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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