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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 G+ h8 c; n# a. z: f4 X2 ~
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2 J: y/ A8 t( u; V3 d! n' h8 Z 1. Bring your own house.- {8 b6 t. w% y- k" _0 V! b* m* B. B
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ e% H6 z0 U' }3 y* s* [
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 c. ]5 U1 o+ S
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug l- |2 P4 Q( _' J8 K/ Z5 r
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
, S+ Z3 W3 d8 G' ?) r4 S; z. B& V$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.+ x& O7 u4 H' c! n3 q# R
2 n" t3 c% P# {5 x" o2 E: f 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 j. m5 @7 g( x8 J% _
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 w. ]! n* u% J
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" c" N( I* [- E% l
here sick.! b8 N0 Q8 h1 @
4 I1 E; X% T$ B. d11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 u; D8 U& S4 `- Q7 K' k
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# z+ B$ ~, U1 F" N" I
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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+ U; M# ^% J9 }6 d% O- |' M1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".3 u s: M0 N# a& `. R
. `/ }; `! A$ X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
7 D. w: S6 M9 f% G# r. w$ b7 Wis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 J0 a: b2 p# r% b. a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: S) P, T9 S' O0 }
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 f& ]9 p9 e! A+ N+ tgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 L5 B: p1 _5 X7 v: t% p4 v
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 D# Y4 |3 ~" ~! M! m1 I4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; Q& M$ C7 U* K' Y: [) `+ i/ Ccussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, _0 p/ a" T- {" Gcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ ?& ?$ y: X3 {& C
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ u0 q& b% H* Nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and0 c% O \6 j7 j( i: U0 |/ k
more construction starts everyday.
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" A3 ~; s( g: L& ]" C 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) Y7 S5 \4 z8 l9 q$ ]0 I
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) a) V( O% l. h% F2 msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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$ R& ?" N; i5 _5 _4 c8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" p* D9 }) O% [9 j, }6 Z( v
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) [& e% \3 C' h5 _( Q( A
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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& g* M7 u. U( w! L% X3 s10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km X$ ]6 K# l8 r: g A0 ]; s
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. y. r+ l; J6 qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 Y" w, \/ F2 U. K, g/ f2 P
& t, F6 {( T# @+ Q( T5 X11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* R' q% g* S( k/ q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 C' F3 a$ y' f9 i8 nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 U( G% T% r' D, O" f0 Bvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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