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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* c: F4 G/ n! J: |" z. N8 O
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1. Bring your own house.5 | K$ Y7 X+ K% E) N
- {' [% U: p$ B3 D! n; L; A5 q& L 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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. b8 ?1 f* A3 _ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
. B0 z1 r' }, q) I/ ?( ]6 c8 acapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ ^3 ~/ W& g; z& h, M
( @5 ?7 x; r! m' N/ \3 ? 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; q# Q& p4 T4 Y0 vcapital of Canada .1 C3 A% \* _7 l, B; m6 \
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 c4 M# S4 h, _3 ]$8.00/hour.5 q5 a5 p M' { Q- u% @' R
* F( l X1 K* ?1 c) S: a 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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! x% H, { k) o 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 f9 ]- Q2 s' X* M5 z, ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)- U& I/ L7 L3 d4 O5 G* Q5 m
6 w3 x" W3 I- D8 y$ I10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come; D6 l& }# n* L% T
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) [ P0 u7 m# Nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ _6 z' m S7 m/ x4 g8 J; r
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 z- ^& k4 n6 h3 n
) D X b/ f9 I7 K2 n2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! S3 \5 o/ o% U5 C3 a% Mis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.9 B- W9 l* h5 ^/ Y- p9 D
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 n$ L5 X* V0 l! J% _9 ^own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 C) a. `# u ^' b5 E9 ?; Y, G7 Rmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- Z2 A8 T) o4 E; H9 o; o: p) P( e
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( u+ ^* d) l' E! _
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, j$ g7 L3 Z& W C8 T
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ d; I- @8 z" wcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
% s o5 g5 e% V/ r. E3 Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, M2 P: g q0 f" ~! ~+ O# _; y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! K* z a/ K" s. E" zmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ s$ h5 }4 ?4 p \
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 G& i5 b4 F$ c8 H5 o' X# e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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5 R Z, r. l# [! } o, b4 H8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all+ a$ `' K6 q. r) I
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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$ h! k: E7 U: d5 t10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km1 F/ W0 }5 a/ K1 q$ {
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! n% e. Y+ n8 `
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! Y: x6 ?( U% \: U2 G( cblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is1 Z; G# I4 m% A2 G l8 Q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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