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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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" a3 @% ~" k: D% ? 1. Bring your own house.) V+ p# T( ^# l: ]! j

0 b& U) d# B8 S0 e* c/ i 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and3 _  ~7 X( C) g0 u
hospital.
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* Z- ^  W# L, H( T6 t- x& Z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 b) A2 r4 H# j/ x. m) Pcapital of Canada .; H# t3 o6 y9 p. L$ D! _/ U

0 j) M# M$ Z8 l3 B7 t 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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: g; l( E8 J" e0 O9 O2 M 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ m  ^: l5 ]# E: q& k" k
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
/ |4 F/ s$ O1 X$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 f0 G+ C0 v1 x) b* von a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
( ~* S9 \; |: A; Dprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 _* ^/ X" T) Q) n1 {" x4 N* v8 W4 m* J
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
6 J+ q: f; ~1 U# Y) t8 w! bhere sick.
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- K! g8 G. e6 \! r0 o11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# t9 F' N' R; E  K; Q- E
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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# f* `: |+ ]' t9 _: d* g THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :9 S) m- b& F0 p8 @# q  Q

! N6 ^6 _+ f/ i4 K- N1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".+ m: ?' L' U3 M& p$ A* Z

: w& ^/ l/ _) }3 v. Z7 P( N" t2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( h) Q! ~6 M% O8 v' o: Qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 Y' A5 T2 s8 D+ ^' Cown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 A0 t" B6 x: V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) `) Y2 b( [% A  v% \8 N
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- [7 B  H' t8 N: hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
  o" O5 s* u$ Ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
! o! l. x; Z0 K$ Ucan get you shot.5 w( Z. b' O) C* r; o) i* |

8 q9 s) w+ {2 \# {" K" e0 ?7 k3 t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" V! A6 o4 ]2 b, L" Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
4 Q- Z5 I7 l7 i' ~1 k  gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
4 T6 q6 X- h/ K2 ^, O* lmore construction starts everyday.6 n0 P7 T0 N3 G9 f" w( n

( h) o- @4 c& @4 T0 Y. F8 w  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 o4 z! F) @' x9 M3 \! `
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 l' k( S3 y% X" H$ psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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, g; U" P& J: l8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
) U% [# s) S- n. b1 u4 o5 Dthe same road.6 O* o; I2 k* o' H. \5 a
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the% P& f; Z; _6 W, y4 }
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; Z) G' m6 Y* g& v& s
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% w" a6 z* D, p2 E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
4 S& q. U* l4 S2 P, L- n; [lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 n: f- H2 M/ J. ?7 Q2 x+ N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( }1 i1 M$ u; o+ C* x  cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
0 [; u8 Y9 q0 K: k. G满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
1 B" ?4 M9 U6 K, P6 m5 e有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 8 C: n' I# f7 ?5 A; }
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 $ Y- M* ^5 r7 A, s* \& d! K
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; F" S  |( N3 Y[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
( v9 e! @, N! `朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。4 O# r5 ?$ I, f/ I) t+ f: H
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 ! B) I) _. P$ ?; \( u2 Y
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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  ?) c% E4 }4 c$ G" N4 i9 N% @这么刺痛你了吗?: t! G. D8 ?6 O9 B5 u4 k
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 $ a$ I8 M. w5 N" K2 b
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。; z% E' b/ y1 L! G! \
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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0 d' b9 i+ e3 C1 }9 P! r你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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% k# z. |/ K- q0 b1 S再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.5 B+ j" d3 p5 ]' _3 ]' v; q

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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