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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ Y8 {' _2 g9 y9 f! E% X: N
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7 ]& t' y3 S# k9 t1 r* B: W 1. Bring your own house.9 O: u2 j! A$ ?4 I+ z9 N  o8 x

9 w1 n$ `; R* X. k4 |: Y& R3 }0 S 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; L$ j6 J8 g6 X0 ~
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 s8 @2 Z* s3 p4 k% I0 a# b
capital of Canada .
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) i  k4 K2 ^/ W# M2 f 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# G/ o+ G) J, b3 l, ?" ccapital of Canada .( n$ G" s& @' `+ F1 h

. k0 \) ]1 R7 Z) J' v) M( j. u* z' Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: o5 W% Z3 V# y5 s% m. j7 P
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 S& \1 x) j' k! d0 r
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ W1 P  y( F0 y
on a 15 year holiday ?
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" t" z$ O+ m. m" l/ `  x 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! ?, N( l% E2 R" S4 ]" p2 b
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, t8 ^; I1 B. t) C8 c. myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) r) [  S) @! F) p* {

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# U: o& Q' l9 |# S* p0 b, X THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :& J1 D+ f4 Z& e$ j! m
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 N$ Z& _0 f6 j" s  }
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 X5 U+ ]: m, j! E7 p9 yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." P/ h" `- U9 q  u

! ?2 {" a4 N8 w3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 U0 J; {0 t* ]4 q
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' u9 a* q' n( m3 G6 a$ Xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires  n7 B  ~9 N3 v' \! f
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 M( l, C; b& {" Z, _2 w2 r% J. E/ Wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% @, f% G0 A$ z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 I! }7 d) k; I9 _cussed out, and possibly shot.% F0 ^) w) R+ ]3 `0 a& W2 g8 Z
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& m6 P; t0 }/ I* r% Q. ]( q
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ R& F/ B1 x+ v7 k; n3 g$ k
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 b- i6 k0 M! W6 W0 J
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 b4 [" p; L5 U7 }2 ~$ D
more construction starts everyday.
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$ t7 p1 M- W4 V4 l) ^) \5 n% J0 j  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
0 V* D3 O5 _" Z9 L& U! Q/ Edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 E% m" Q& N& g' |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) {5 R9 T0 K% [$ i$ `" F

6 B4 F7 M0 S$ `8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
. Z! y2 c, z" E/ G( Hthe same road.& {! {4 f8 R% i6 _

. d; Z3 D, [1 ^( v9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( u1 I$ g4 D, e. l( x
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km0 K3 q  C  u& C+ H) l" g  p
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
6 e+ o9 l$ {1 E  [& laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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& M  {. P( ^9 u0 w11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 m7 B; q' S) i/ p
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" @/ ~1 g; T' \: ~* o% mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
# C( u9 [  X6 Nvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
  b2 z" g1 J1 n满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
/ G6 t$ P) [" s: H有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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% Z9 k& q) n7 B4 U3 C6 |% v+ B此地钱多, 人傻, 速来   I# \0 Z+ u' n% ?( q
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 " s! S, \8 d) c, F( t
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。# d$ k8 X; y8 V% Z) d: w
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。- G0 a! C/ U1 d5 ^+ ~4 [- [) H- A. Y2 k
...
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. ^# s- ^; b6 ^+ ? 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 9 t- U9 j8 o; U6 i. p9 X

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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& o$ p0 m5 W* O- ~: m; j% F" U& p- W这么刺痛你了吗?' L+ `7 @  V6 d2 c
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 & W' B) P; t) y: {
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
  S1 |% A; Z5 L满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.0 W* r. A6 u3 N3 y( s% Z$ {

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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