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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ i: c- H- s1 s. r7 c1 f# F
capital of Canada .
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$ p( e2 g$ _2 V. C, q$ q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 f" s5 c% r: {
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" X/ S! K9 O2 i3 ^' [8 Zcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! w1 A' Z+ T- ^; u
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 `! Y. P& s: _, V4 a$ ]! F" W; `
6 v3 B h9 R i 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 T3 w" a1 G5 W' u# uon a 15 year holiday ?
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' ?: H. t; R+ `0 M8 O 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 ?8 ^# ~; k9 F7 b8 z' M
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), y5 p6 s B7 v; g# X- H# p
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' e& [0 e- L+ c1 }4 q: P# g
here sick.5 C- @8 s7 ]5 R, h
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 {# P- t4 [6 {. ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 r, `$ g, R- D3 q7 l- Q" Z
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! s& x' j( y7 Y* e THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 {8 t# L0 X% s% g. ]
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".: B" X3 k) x$ Z' K- o& J! J" Q
) \: a* r4 F4 V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour5 {: A, f$ i. k5 z; |' L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, v# A) z3 {" p8 M( O0 L+ U/ Z- u
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 r# D; Q/ x/ H$ j, e3 w6 ]( @muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) Q7 @' H' E3 }: n, W1 pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
3 @( `$ k4 R Hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; ?( A# o/ F: [% N K0 \- N
9 `0 r+ b' b/ F3 B7 ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
8 E4 B0 V9 L$ ecussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, V; F1 a% c V& s. e' p
can get you shot.
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" H. }" D( m6 I. H6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ `- G$ _) K$ l% ~2 tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
4 Y3 y. Y/ q Q. ^; W/ Aday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, \% h5 |$ {5 T: w1 ~# I( p" ^
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 P( v' P8 G) m8 Z/ z& Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 Z1 f! a( e4 H0 \$ U. ^squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 |+ [ p* F3 |1 {% j! S& `) ?9 x
( C) V2 v8 b9 m+ s2 v8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! ?5 t4 D( h C# b
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km% K- Z* O" w& b* g9 d8 }' ~
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
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1 P$ P( a1 X! [( u9 T& M11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ Z8 D y6 z8 f1 g9 H h' i, Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 o+ y" \; n7 C* L7 |
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( R3 _( D7 g: X; W+ ]3 }; E
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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