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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA7 f1 s) r! o% ]. n) k) ^
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- B1 _2 j6 D f9 {5 v& x- H 1. Bring your own house.! A; k& J. }; |8 X& e) p" P! _8 D
0 |8 a8 g( g8 k, L, C' l 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 F% V' b7 s$ D) D& ^
hospital.
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% Z7 D: I; N, n1 m0 g8 ^- ^ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 a9 w% ? J/ m# O
capital of Canada .
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; F, K9 @+ s: H2 q1 ?0 Y8 q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 W- ~9 t: m7 Y
. v6 ~! i0 l8 x3 O 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
* r; H* p4 [) _/ M6 i" k; z7 Gcapital of Canada .
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8 D: t6 \8 m7 {+ k' ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( [. D$ J5 y. ~$ v. ^& y* t$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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6 B$ x) f! r2 q* n$ ] 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
[: E* P+ |; Q; m, @& [+ non a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; L: t5 T: r! S5 l$ B
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ O2 N v+ v c* U
7 h& Z* Q) m1 Z+ q% v10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 W ~* B9 B, j
here sick.
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% E" e- Y. s3 [ x1 @6 l9 W11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 m) Z( H) N% T( t( `' k: @
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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: [( J$ f9 D# |; w% x$ | THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- M( x$ x: Y" o; ]6 R# s/ L1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." i/ R" ?. }9 r% d: ]/ o# W7 ?
- o3 N' J' I/ l; i0 a2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- H; E3 k; Z+ v3 z) y3 e7 L, Kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 S& O, U8 `# l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest, B* R' G6 x( c Q: L" s. q; H
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 e: e; T' W# t3 B6 _
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell: k7 l/ k$ d4 T2 l& h7 `. ?# {
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! b* U+ j$ g# o0 T0 p
9 T) M/ Q9 i# k2 |8 U/ F4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 i# U; g0 |2 j) N1 Ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
+ X* L S s* ?. Tcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
" [) y8 |; J U! qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 i5 H4 b+ ^$ e# {& T4 u
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and# x% P, `' I2 [6 C
more construction starts everyday.6 k O: F+ A) j) w5 t3 r
9 }$ t/ O0 U$ q# [4 ?5 u: K* J% {, Q 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- M; H9 Y1 ^& Q# M4 @9 h T; w
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
/ x( |. \! a x" K+ F2 A! P- z$ j- Usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 U" i0 U9 A R: Y! i7 {; O' G
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 a! s2 o. g0 m3 v
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 J0 W4 Q5 O0 [0 _; czone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
9 O1 {5 W0 f# ^; o$ n+ waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 U# U' U! G- U$ [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: t( P" `5 S- z' s% e3 ~" ?+ z: Vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
' d+ f/ j, ~* _virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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