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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house., x% c* ~6 g3 Z% ~, E: x3 x! o  i9 H; s

! X7 y% l/ J) m- r 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 N3 G5 d, H4 s4 |hospital.( E8 `( _, v1 M5 s3 ~) n& S
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 v5 f3 p" n4 Rcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .) g. R9 R% E' i5 ]- d9 r6 M

) {4 ?3 \* _: n4 s 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ O; r7 L1 M( v$ z% Acapital of Canada .( b0 U$ x9 |/ k, b7 b0 u; t
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 t6 @) z! _1 Q' w# x
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.' c* n+ F1 x0 v. G& f) L) l

4 H" N. ^' G9 ]' f1 t1 d9 |1 ^3 T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
( Q9 x# a+ P! qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 t6 @0 D4 e/ I1 @. \3 Uprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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+ d) A2 a$ D. ]) i10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' d2 j: \! a  qhere sick.# o0 c: a" v# t3 f% Y
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12! R# U: e/ N7 T1 m' ^# r8 K! n
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.& P( l( J. @, q! e  c4 I- N

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) X. v/ j" N4 L- z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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  j" L6 o9 T' U( l- n$ L. {; {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 t5 i$ y6 r. B; @7 R8 W2 k" W/ Iis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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  G6 I4 G+ D3 g% F5 v3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 W4 b6 x* y$ h! C2 ]6 S
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% {% ~8 G$ V" q" n+ q; y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ Q" k7 J! u  x+ t7 D
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 M1 S  I4 F/ G+ A
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ X/ ~3 y, M, o* N4 g1 {* n

' h" W' g0 {+ ]9 A1 V# B4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 i0 {; v8 [3 ]% i( a5 p, Z5 G' Wcussed out, and possibly shot.( A) h" n. i0 ]* a6 l! T; |  K. n

5 a' b4 r9 h% u6 G6 J! X6 j6 J% V$ q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 [9 w1 f$ e$ c4 i2 ]7 R) Vcan get you shot.
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1 U' ~" k' i# D( H+ n/ b5 t( F6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ g: y$ e* Z; T& c9 e- N5 P
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ J4 M1 e# `2 J! M/ Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" ]9 J0 Q) B6 t* omore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,+ s: C) m% C' o, e% q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 e9 u( H( N" b7 L  tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." I/ h2 P# C2 Q" ^: j

* m- j- U# l; p9 A) I3 J: O8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
5 V8 C8 Y4 j  [$ s. l" Zthe same road.+ ^2 s5 H' x$ v/ m1 I+ j6 ?* U

4 G* G. U9 |" u5 C+ _, P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 x0 x  {. \( a$ \3 P! s1 u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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9 e0 H% V5 _: @- U4 f11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 i" b& `) B( B! J% Q+ w* }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; ~- @7 E# t/ R, pblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' H9 |% E( @1 X4 M
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

6 R% g7 Q% F6 g" z" D) g  E2 T有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。7 \& q. ]) B4 U; Z
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
+ K& d& R' U* a% N: b# d有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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0 O5 s: a9 C1 B  f7 O此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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4 [) {$ A% A0 |4 e: J$ {[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 , ~: l( B, z) C
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。+ b% E/ u: M% x3 A" `2 Y  e. |
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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! `8 b! r* ^7 k 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?' c0 ]$ Q) N& H+ W

7 s, y5 |- a( X- g0 d* L我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
# f  s! L$ Z# f- f( v7 y朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。" K: T7 }/ \9 {1 A
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。- C2 A3 b5 A% W1 Z
...

. U4 r- g. O* }" g你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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. I& @6 Y7 a+ X. u再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.' f1 J8 z/ [- \. y" A

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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