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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.9 R% c+ C0 V* T1 r
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
. q5 V' F4 K* x7 R# {2 Khospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# k8 R! _( A) }3 o( U" ~
capital of Canada .
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' t- Q/ y; h! j3 E8 ^1 Z! M9 H5 ~  Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .9 P7 f* |* @+ p) E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 N  C  Z. c. M  F& w6 c
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
6 A* ^9 w' h! F6 E$8.00/hour.+ z2 A! l, y3 L% @* v( Y4 x( k

" v. D) h1 B. p# a3 z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 M* ^- t8 P& o/ g% I, P2 D7 o5 x4 b% f
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9 k4 N/ w! C. Z) ^; y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; e+ o, r5 R. b0 ?6 K
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 v0 N( Q$ L. e( R  M10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
$ ]3 Y" K; E1 I6 v+ chere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; t, o* k9 m' {  |$ B1 n( u' g9 I2 A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 G& t. I: O0 f3 M: n* R  w, j
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) K8 E0 k: @* o9 `9 q2 qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ F' V+ B6 k5 W  R6 b
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ K: X& B$ W( E- U
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 w! E: G) F5 [' m! ~
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 L& p- N; A( K3 X0 ^: m+ E$ [go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 K5 D4 `$ P9 b  W- ^0 h, r# V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.; \: t- c$ P8 ^: R1 j
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 i% N4 I0 G4 E* N
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& K7 A, [3 w2 W) U1 ucan get you shot.9 _0 |: s% m! t
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
6 e4 j0 N& B2 \barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 H, q4 t6 N, U- q) j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' a8 ]$ m- u. h
more construction starts everyday.7 W9 V( Q% ^  {0 }( \% M8 g8 l
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 I; F5 `' z7 f9 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 D( r/ Y0 g. usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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) G; h: c5 O9 Q. j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
+ v  @1 E* M  |6 Q  `* x2 }the same road.  h* ?1 N5 v1 l" _  Q' D! x
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 H. D( z5 \: T- b4 b
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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5 r3 X# j9 g) C0 @' F' M10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" s+ y( t" \( E( V. \; Izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"3 M) c& c! d% M' {2 P) ]: v
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 n, B+ q- `% r  W/ z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 m9 K5 x2 |, r) [% c8 O+ [: K
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ ^3 S9 w- ^8 e* Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

  d& b. x4 O+ F2 x2 T/ r有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% G/ ~9 E  \- z/ F/ N满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
# M4 c' p2 @3 e; `' k有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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) l4 A' ?/ h/ z此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 / m  M+ J% q. v
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 2 i! x# s+ v# a( p. ]5 [0 c0 f+ ]4 S
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。( J+ s3 Z+ }2 G% r7 i
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。5 Y# T6 G: s1 [! T! W3 v9 L
...

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* k5 v0 n4 T! L: {. ~ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 * d* I8 A" a7 g) P4 e' T
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( D% v& a. v. v$ r' U 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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& i( e/ C: X. q. [3 x/ i9 V7 A9 u这么刺痛你了吗?0 C! [9 B$ B: l0 v8 f
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
- a: b; u% E2 x* Y, J; M朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。) }. k+ H' i# D5 `% ?- K* I7 ~
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。  M4 T$ x) ^+ b5 c" A
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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3 R! T: w% e2 A) z& A( E$ z1 l: E# Y+ R再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.% ~9 j- h/ H8 b; N( d

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大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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