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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( m& c' D' z& A4 Y  b
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1. Bring your own house.
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$ F9 X8 g  C$ {% _1 b0 k+ s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and( F- I7 U! A( G9 s& d7 p3 X
hospital.1 y" ?- F3 b) X9 w& K; B
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
6 Y5 p: h* u5 @capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., Y2 X! O" b5 o9 X

. N7 b4 r6 \' Y! v# }% V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) C$ ]% ^$ t# }$ p
capital of Canada .
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$ ?5 u$ I% Z& B. C 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
% ]7 t" m5 L# k& H& F$8.00/hour., u1 c! \+ V% Z7 b6 t$ b

0 A. R" `: G& D( t  z. A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
% R% v5 Y' C) R9 \! s# Qon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas' S$ c( K. ]& Y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), z% v; h) _+ F; L! C+ A

: ~: Q* ]8 M( l3 j, r10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 `' P7 m4 P8 A/ u6 W2 J
here sick.4 \" D9 k2 c7 y2 V% ?

8 b* P) H7 ]7 K- g' R/ [0 z8 ^6 A11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 R. p/ l3 Z/ X+ E. i- c% g
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., f9 C( L9 x$ Q& ]& Y

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0 P3 I! ?' W# P: r/ Q THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
% H1 O5 c; T3 ?4 u5 {is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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6 @) [% {, G, j- `5 [3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 _: j2 J8 {! h/ `; wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( d( l! b/ H; z5 x/ g4 C6 r1 imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 U5 a, m) k' D# L. h0 ugo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
8 o6 e: g2 g0 j$ Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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! ^" t  h1 {$ N6 f$ u0 A4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# Z, Z) I5 @: h( n
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
( R0 p+ R; S7 B- d  x3 ncan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% e* Q* k1 f  @+ c  v9 P  F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 v" U( M0 P. d) F+ ]6 i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 o4 Z+ Z% v: v; n1 p: o) Y( c
more construction starts everyday.2 Q" y( P/ }9 b0 s

+ T0 @/ I& {& Q) `  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 p4 r4 a3 e& ], [deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
  p, H' u, ?; F& Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. i' t4 w8 v0 Q  n( H9 D- E
the same road.
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6 i* _6 l( x# m; t9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. F8 C' m7 b" a; e* S2 Zshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* E: z$ N3 k' G* ~5 S( d
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
% ]+ r- b. w4 O# X" E. I& wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" p0 I0 d5 H& V- Y$ I/ `: D
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! t4 x6 D( Z$ ^$ _: z0 b' L% j7 W
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur. z! @7 B; V% M$ d0 M- a, F
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and5 j4 ?. R4 P9 }8 P  n$ P7 }
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- k- e" U5 i* l: W
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

9 _+ S; a4 a! {. j0 Q; x* d7 N有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。; `5 E, u; Z# i" m
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
% N/ Z* l. t, \! X& O  u有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 5 ~3 A% C1 Y3 J9 u# H7 q

- s/ W: N+ n5 C( X$ M此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 + |; [4 C4 E4 r8 e7 F! H
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7 u+ H* v# F  i[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
& Z9 ]6 c9 R9 f4 v: l3 v7 g朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。2 `" w: d  K$ }0 C& Z  k
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
# |' |) h9 F0 S) ]1 ? ...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 . Q- R% Z5 L! ^2 X* X
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  s8 s) c* [2 t: ~8 I. q" ?6 G1 V 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?4 Q1 ~' i2 L. |; e) l8 R

/ E) e8 T2 N) b1 K. J3 c我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ! N: r( E% \: _# I2 }& G$ n
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。7 v; F$ c2 g0 Z  H
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。+ R& J" j. \- T2 z, [9 u' m
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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( u0 v; T. z; K* S4 M& H再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.2 j9 t$ U4 m9 F) i8 \( U
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理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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