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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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% V; i; K$ w- l2 K! D' Y1 L 1. Bring your own house.
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5 C6 Z) r9 M% w7 W: K! Y$ x 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
8 v0 X! A8 Z p* Ihospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 i A8 I5 s" Z+ T* }
capital of Canada ., H' ?% m* ^" T$ ~
* E$ S+ ~1 o/ e 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ T" ~! E6 b% E
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug' ^& c9 w) ]& K2 D1 k j
capital of Canada .$ e( J/ }/ U7 Z6 V
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% H' p# K ?3 ^/ B
$8.00/hour.& b- e" l$ j) i" D
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.3 _4 h' p4 w7 ^9 ^3 m( ]
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
- Y2 _1 K8 \' p1 C2 xon a 15 year holiday ?1 _; J9 t3 Y" Q7 g0 d+ o9 q5 z
0 u, F4 T- s6 o8 v t 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
- r) f0 o; k9 q& n6 y7 e0 kprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 I0 G1 \! l1 M, u6 p
here sick., ~1 I: e9 z" Y6 |; \% g7 i; J
) Y- }/ b+ \' L5 L6 ?& n11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& W+ g2 @; k) S: r5 {
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." j; O' H" H: {( H, q9 w T
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+ i+ z( g. C: D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :. U, H3 H/ C9 v' J( U7 y( [" x
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".! e- N; N; C) n j3 j- U$ o
M7 J% M, p% G: ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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: j: M) I% y1 }% T$ H4 k; j3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' q+ B/ {' g- Y, K, L* p
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% [( {; K& w# w/ U) Bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: H( I$ l$ x6 Hgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ ^7 V' p/ s6 e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 \" z# ]. G5 Y/ V# w3 F
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( X1 K/ z X2 R6 F L( h
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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: c6 b% z6 `; r5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that3 x# Y. }( N- T5 i, p
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour% _5 L9 P1 R0 h: o/ S3 J
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next+ {' I$ v2 B; Y8 Q5 [5 z! l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ D! K, U% F# o* \
more construction starts everyday.
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% T6 N6 [. k( M& i. q P 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
& A7 Y# ~4 B! k* ^) Cdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 i" j( l2 H; D+ E4 w9 A* ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- ]$ t$ A# h( i X
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; m4 h; z$ K: B7 y6 `$ ethe same road., B! b0 o ?: D
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% ~; U0 n5 H: C8 g- x2 N9 Sshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally _9 M p v9 w# j% k5 T. W5 ]
activated."
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( g9 r7 h' J- t10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
K: _) H9 M: c& Ezone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 |3 p2 q8 j2 Z8 ]4 d4 Eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.; B( Y5 w& a* N# N
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* N+ F, Z9 T1 H% N: Jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 X- f1 I S4 Y# U2 d. `- Ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
$ h% x* z# w1 H! g5 h4 _# E- Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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