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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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0 E9 _5 v- [% o7 k( R# q: e 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' ^: N% x$ J# Y5 ]% \, a$ W
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 v8 q: W+ v0 r
capital of Canada .1 { h1 f, ?; W0 a' Y* j: Q& Y
( p) h; g _: |1 q J8 x! C 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( K9 a W7 x; E0 \' i+ }2 a9 _
capital of Canada .
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* {8 o7 I: D; X/ m 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is9 r1 Y: P5 \$ V$ f) d. T$ k" d* }
$8.00/hour.: o: x$ w1 g7 V; N
" B7 m2 H5 v" d: [# s7 M' @ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 L- w8 `1 X8 n2 B. @4 T 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money5 D( [ r9 _4 ~" ?. k( S$ @
on a 15 year holiday ?0 @+ Z9 v# K4 F5 R/ ]" b
7 e2 d" o4 j; ~' y( M 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas9 S2 a' n: t4 C# X& o* Y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) `8 e& e3 ^# Q, k4 Q
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: K* x" ~9 u9 ~% @9 dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 Q, `1 k0 P: v5 z( g
& L0 U9 P( L9 f: S( x' r0 f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." W6 c/ x0 g( I7 _* x
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- N7 v/ U* U9 f( S. h+ S* Y$ X
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* y/ E2 g1 `( g8 h/ a: Omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 G7 z" Q o4 r3 n- k' U( `6 Q7 B; fgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell J3 b; L8 m% r0 X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; a7 u0 [0 e. I; u* z
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: j7 h; ~0 ?2 L/ b' M
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' I& e) T5 b+ T6 v# G: P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( d& ~6 w d) J5 w" v/ `4 W
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ X# _& A$ V X/ l% d T$ Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# Y! h7 ~- g3 n& osquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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' [, V# b# O# _6 B; I8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% n; T7 W+ i R
the same road.
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) G+ @2 L! C! ]2 f( ~2 Z, l9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( T I2 q/ ^3 Z+ b4 ]
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' `4 E8 R, _9 E% a5 czone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ o6 S( e1 F$ S# uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
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blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
$ Q3 T' a# n+ l2 Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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