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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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4 [. ~0 r: U6 b5 e3 j: ] 1. Bring your own house.6 O' n2 p$ d7 G
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# i. c4 ]6 v# z) F U2 X, ?+ pcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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; s( |, Z# s/ U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" u( {+ [+ F( _5 a' Ycapital of Canada .# u; L5 Y" F; E
* R: H. P! X# v6 l& }- K( N" ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 c, E0 G- y# S$8.00/hour.
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/ N7 z2 x4 r9 j, R5 `2 S 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
1 i4 G+ H) E$ Z8 w8 Won a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 R5 A0 u% Z' [0 A0 K7 I7 F2 }prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 B) K0 V& ^1 y1 _
& O% k q6 H2 S# }; i6 C- P10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 ?1 g, T7 L7 B _- b
here sick.
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4 c7 N/ @& M: J( k+ i8 e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' Q: A; B8 k. t" {years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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$ u- R, [. Y6 W0 m5 h* Q, |! B THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# P: q: T1 Z' ?5 x; _: I0 n; ~5 ]
/ K. Z: ~* |9 g2 j6 v8 Y6 [' y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
+ ?& m d2 f- ?# ~( |is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.7 i7 A# Q8 D. R5 d6 h
. v' I7 e5 k. u/ y+ z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# _( |( ~( [" u5 y: town version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 U1 w# G$ S2 u( d5 f* G2 |muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 v6 ^5 x% [" J7 Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, P& ~* B, u0 b! s) ~5 O- K1 Yphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.. _; c: d6 u# H3 p9 W) N. q8 ]
2 o Q8 `# ~% c4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# C9 t- r' d# E% Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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S% M2 o" s! @) ?5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
. @6 W- S5 E) G2 xcan get you shot.1 {& {6 p# |" u) P3 \: f
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- ^- m# C5 z0 g4 z7 mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next' Q# N/ U1 w: s' y
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ |: p4 R7 C+ O# N( l& N$ `
more construction starts everyday.0 C, I5 b4 c/ D, g' x7 |8 W# ^
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; _7 v5 C/ |9 _5 Z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) F- n( p9 q( O$ Z4 @squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% l1 f, z4 E' C# h$ V5 m8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all! N1 O: {# A) K
the same road.8 K G [# w7 p) S. K
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! `" @: }9 c/ h
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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% W# T# V$ K2 I10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 n2 \; s- @3 a: _) S- }2 S6 l
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 i8 `4 g2 Z8 D4 u! R( f8 N! G
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) e- K% Q* g; n6 {; l& k K$ n- u+ _
3 x( N) x' c1 G. Q( K: q" Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; ]1 U6 u S* v) C! L- C. E' slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 C" ]1 x9 ~6 v: h6 E4 w5 O# w; w& K
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
- K& }+ B3 B. Y, F8 E! Dvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
