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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house." h1 s$ J5 \& r% O2 V
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and, k3 R) `6 M" _0 G/ F+ |( N7 i. i3 H
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ }& I/ H# p3 E( C- ]
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug/ ` K. i: E- Y7 t' d
capital of Canada .
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$ D8 r/ T& O! I+ c 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& Z# q# P1 _1 c- D6 r$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% g" a7 G9 D7 ^
7 X2 s6 D2 R) U; Z( W" @ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money e' y8 u! F( O% f
on a 15 year holiday ?
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" G+ k6 c4 P0 u9 O: Y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
6 q2 f8 c% J$ w5 Jprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! x$ X, M, F+ e* Oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.( n# _9 ^# h K* b% i7 i1 B: [9 R
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : d6 w; `7 \/ W9 u4 M- K: Z' W$ A" p
8 k2 Q' a( o+ a& J- {* |1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".8 d$ H; x, O2 k) ]! }1 Y# S5 h1 m
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( U8 o# ^" |( c5 D0 e* ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; a x x7 K0 `# C% \
2 p1 |; G" X; M+ O, j5 s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 L' G1 l( \# X! \4 c& G; `! s
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest0 O! y" k1 b C! X- q9 F$ |
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ ~& X: F; ^+ K& j9 y2 b) C
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) T) F8 f+ ]4 j: x2 a7 M4 b
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 k9 {% n y+ s& Q9 |2 b1 ocussed out, and possibly shot.8 t- P. \5 j$ w% G1 N4 b
6 z" k3 y' [0 ]4 b3 u2 M5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that% l/ {& a* Z! U! B2 f
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour/ `4 [ {2 _1 d$ T2 H8 T2 _
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 S0 \7 H" d+ F' Q3 j8 \day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
' v4 t9 ` X* P% T, [) I- cmore construction starts everyday.
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) p% B4 T" v, m# t6 ]/ M 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 V4 v" R! {: [( `, p
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( `1 [( F# L1 R% vsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% x/ N+ O# W( a; b5 u$ R
the same road.- X& X1 y: P( D. ~! V! O
; ] X7 t7 W4 l1 K f7 {6 D4 z" Q' s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! _) p( W" [4 C' s
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally4 E% U# `) c8 J& K
activated."
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/ N5 }% i$ U. W: y9 N& ?" C# d10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, G2 c3 m: t" V1 v$ Y
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"0 B* U3 j- X" f
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& |. c+ M$ u' r' T; Y3 m
8 I, u: \" r% l1 x2 C. ~' {5 z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ y! b) @% j- v+ u+ a% R
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and4 I3 T% i3 w9 R3 i; o* R- H9 M' M; Y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 c! C2 [( h+ B- ^' Q+ E! Kvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
