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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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$ r& ~8 ^: |. ]. K' z3 Y8 d9 E 1. Bring your own house.8 _5 q4 Q  Q0 M  `
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" }8 V) z5 w9 _9 w. M" W: i
hospital.
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- [# R& b+ l! P% y6 ~' @: p5 C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) |$ j: ?6 E  ~0 n. p8 h/ D  [- b# k
capital of Canada .3 x& h1 q: v; e

2 P1 Z$ W# d+ H) |: b 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." S3 s4 n# f1 g  W3 j. r1 [) ^

" o) E$ F; [% t 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug5 f, q. W: T5 ]
capital of Canada .' c' V2 {* ]7 ~2 i1 E! z" s

. C' K3 T% X5 [8 q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is( [$ `3 d; n/ z2 m9 u( o  v4 X! ^
$8.00/hour.4 D; u/ H: c" d3 V. w( s. y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 V( l* W3 B- {% e- \5 I! Son a 15 year holiday ?
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4 L6 c, Q: E' L4 Z4 N$ M 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
! h+ }0 h( i3 k- w9 @- M6 zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)6 L" c8 W1 c; u! \/ q6 t/ b
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
0 X" O# Y  K, `. q7 ~7 h6 dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.7 h/ z+ l) _- A7 x" [
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :. K) S; n- ?( r, ?$ E* z
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour/ B8 }7 }  c/ F& r3 R
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 p5 _7 O# I1 F/ c0 J
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its/ b5 }2 v# u) K2 f
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 v+ j* G2 |- M" Z( }1 Omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 b7 G1 o0 e( y; A/ G; D* C( [6 J
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
( U7 s$ `3 l# `) {$ A" }phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ o/ v' u! }# \7 G: T2 s7 Tcussed out, and possibly shot.
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  }$ a1 a- T. k! U; l5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that. k- I1 _/ x. V) c% [+ D
can get you shot.$ V; Z& }6 i0 I- l# w; R
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- r- Y8 L6 Y& o! O/ {0 `4 mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ }' j  t' M  H3 Gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; f. @& W9 J- R# V+ z& b$ w6 Vmore construction starts everyday." f+ @9 I" a. n& N: H5 a
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,  I9 ~2 E- m" {' a. E
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, k/ Y5 h1 e& Q4 [6 L6 C+ t
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- A/ d8 `7 t* z; S0 h
the same road.) m. z0 ~2 X/ |0 C$ v

: _4 }( Z) F/ a6 h; s9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( I% h) L9 s$ L  W0 Tshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km  Z- q/ [9 V& z$ E' \( z4 W
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 Z5 Q* f2 k& C& L0 L& Q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 Q- l. T- l" r# ^' `' ^6 W" L8 q7 X

0 m3 `" {% {& }* {' }6 O11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur$ M! Z, L' t/ h1 g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 i) g; \' w+ N, L& E5 kblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 |% ?) ]' C- ]% qvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

% _' \/ R2 {2 e有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
& I1 L" @) N# L# b满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
5 h% ]/ O! i1 ?- f/ m2 o4 c" R有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : * I; A; j9 g! r" O7 V! i8 t9 S
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ! z8 f* `0 V4 t( m

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" l# f- {  t- e0 O  P朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
4 @5 O' k% \2 G! O( y$ A满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。' R; [/ E& F% l# B# U  C+ F5 k
...

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& ~# C4 t: o8 I  n3 p 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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这么刺痛你了吗?2 d- z+ D; f3 ?4 c3 a
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
& I3 x! R! s( j/ o- r朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
8 J2 ?$ J( E9 l% Z) B, k; q满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。0 N: Z  I) f8 _$ y
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.2 G  g! g( L- h0 b
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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