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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 m1 X2 W* i; I) J( y# C
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+ `: Y! i' C+ r/ O 1. Bring your own house.+ @8 |. b) A  a5 _6 ]

1 m6 i! w% k/ G7 q; ]2 z 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
2 I# x5 R. h9 U6 Rhospital.% J  O) o% _9 v7 d$ m, Y
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 l" Q5 C, s% X3 M2 z4 ]0 _9 K
capital of Canada .  r- B3 P" ]) {! v/ y% z: Q

% s4 [. h9 m2 N2 |8 w# L! z2 C- J 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug; Q4 @: j& _" }! w& {
capital of Canada ." q" p; ?) s  n% A4 X5 S

! E1 [$ l+ |- t) n; B 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is8 Z* \; w* G9 \0 m! Z
$8.00/hour.: L: S# P) G2 O7 g! M$ q/ Q! D  q
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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9 q  C/ k) E6 o! X/ f$ { 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 F# Z7 f3 s$ W& C: g1 s0 eon a 15 year holiday ?. S, O3 ]' K: v3 C, M8 K3 L
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% E: b9 O( f. C$ c' m8 v. iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)  R6 y  P1 x& v# X4 W5 `) H. m$ d

- ^  n4 B. ~+ c1 Y4 B, {10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 124 _& L) b9 r/ J( n+ I
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 S0 D1 J+ \7 Y2 L7 K# P5 L. L

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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! g0 _$ D! ~! ]' o" G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour4 C# J- k. e  s( m
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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$ N# e3 U( }' P0 j" O7 U) {3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& n1 K6 [5 {8 a6 |% Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- L. A/ |6 @* y# X) J* n! \) k; V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. \- F6 l' T' }( S1 ~* H' O
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ l, |& q! F9 Y
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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# w- h, G% W# D+ B4 [4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. [) s: d+ F2 z  u/ T9 g% V. v8 Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ m; ]9 ]5 I: C8 E" Z! i
can get you shot.. W! f; T8 K& W) |

' O" S) t+ O( m/ y4 n+ r6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 K9 M+ Z" h) J6 A9 m7 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% Q9 L* x1 V- u$ e& ?) {  C+ y/ _$ Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 m8 @6 p" p; d; H/ }more construction starts everyday., `- R8 G8 z3 g5 H" |8 ]
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,4 d3 A0 S, G0 Y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ \) _* H+ u) ^5 q: Y6 O4 R6 Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.7 ^# Y4 @, @" V& [2 Z$ p5 |7 c- A; o

' e% H/ x! P2 {/ H. G% G8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 H8 }3 j7 t1 [$ a" D! H7 Gthe same road.
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3 R5 F. z) y' U5 W2 G% q. ?5 i$ |9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& f1 a7 I6 I: O% e  F4 h: C9 Y$ [shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 b8 b5 n9 u. {& i# R, e
activated."
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4 k9 u! l  ]3 x6 T! W8 F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. D* S+ J3 i  Y/ b& g' e" |6 szone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, E' L3 L% H$ z, Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 m9 L! [; y; A7 l- M1 n. j4 E

" }' P; e) Y, [/ c9 F6 P8 M$ d11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( ]9 S, V; P4 @$ e# B% g
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 _- H! X- B9 i! i' nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 V, C+ a2 }% h9 A- ~. lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

( B  o/ X6 F" u有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' R  U0 O5 q/ v满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。7 G; m6 z9 a! v
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : + g3 M4 |3 p2 p7 A
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
9 ?) r$ g; B1 W" \5 s0 p6 r% g朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。) ?" @  [, V  F' Y: c" w
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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: \9 [, c! G- Z1 c- X* N' K; {这么刺痛你了吗?
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* G8 N3 U' U9 \我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 8 h# u( _. H0 `: ^7 B
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。% D, E$ p, h: L2 U  V# ~
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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( P8 m  ?( y7 w& K你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。7 P' U5 b: P0 @* M8 l5 H

+ X0 W8 C) T( E) @& Q2 G再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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