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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% x- t. e, V: j6 s0 C
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1. Bring your own house.
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' y8 J. M% V) e* n0 o) \9 p0 z. G 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 f! ? V0 p/ b$ ~0 s0 a) S0 t& u
hospital.! r, \. P' Z& V) r3 o+ u2 }
$ o# u# c) ^3 w: ] 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ a$ b; F* D' O2 b: t
capital of Canada .# G! f2 I1 ^1 m
7 ~4 u) ^5 \, o/ G$ [# @ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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0 x$ t+ m- K: z. g4 K 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is M: B. u/ y1 t" I
$8.00/hour.2 a) e) m& S3 s" w( T
: ?; u3 l1 S! {- j/ ] 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 ~9 v- K$ f5 b5 S6 |8 i. D P
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 w# \, C4 v- G' P
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 _ e) e7 X# L7 Bprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage). l! p6 G9 |3 ?3 O2 y* F
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12" m' {% M# Y1 g; z( g; |% ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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5 i5 {# U! m; y4 m1 B THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 _8 a! o# _. x7 E' e
2 j2 {. d& ^, k9 P2 T) a9 X: [) Q' N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- D9 T7 Q9 P+ O2 ^& D5 C! `3 H" F! { Vis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning. ` `# T7 k/ l, M# a" A: r( S2 m
# z. i0 I6 Q/ M7 r4 s6 [3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 t6 v+ f/ n8 M% L2 I1 ]
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
. z b0 T, k! w8 y; O ~% Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! `" ~8 t& V* c9 F0 rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 A' K# }$ J" R9 s1 N+ Rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 h! }0 e5 B& k1 ]% \ F+ q* Dcussed out, and possibly shot.' H7 m7 D- F6 y' |3 o
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" y; h% L; w5 f- }9 F
can get you shot.$ C- U0 i2 ?5 J4 M1 {: A: q
6 A' L" K* u% e- |" I3 h* h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour8 p- J6 \1 m( I. n! A; z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 ?4 ^+ n, j5 V
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! `, Z4 U6 B" Imore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 i7 H. K8 J8 Z4 t7 D: p
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ D+ S$ Y. G0 q* e( n" ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. H5 _" `* Y5 R. m" z/ J7 b
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
7 g2 ~. r1 f1 M% r' Sthe same road.
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) o4 R5 B0 R8 r9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( V/ Q2 c M+ K, f/ J3 N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) `( U0 Q3 P" `8 r2 T
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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* e$ k4 _4 h1 m( E6 F* e; o6 r2 T* ]11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ S. B6 ]8 d3 K0 W+ e( x* J) E- x. ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ ] Z" J: U) V# a) J& b0 d# D# b
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is, a4 ^% e$ z, R( j1 g% `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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