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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA' [+ F' I5 n9 ~1 Z, @4 ^. \
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) q: b' a3 P/ h0 ^& e2 ]5 t- } 1. Bring your own house.
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+ c/ o, @/ ]$ |. X 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
d, Z$ o# O8 phospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
' {4 N- d# y* K0 x: ~capital of Canada .' X8 @/ @, O" O- f2 R# ]
! v. ]3 S% t8 _3 h1 X V 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* N/ o5 u( |* a( `/ j' K
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ K S1 N% r' B/ e, A- H9 M) I- `" Y
capital of Canada .. V& x! j% [6 {( E
0 Q# e$ n- A: { J( |5 ~( o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- D8 f4 M, D% U) ^6 e5 o7 U. w; x$8.00/hour.) |7 U! w7 g6 a5 G
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ d9 U+ Q5 E6 X4 \8 i( Z: v
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) o3 @& g7 i Won a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! j1 s0 G; f2 c0 L; _: k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 [$ X i8 I( }0 M# Y6 lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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/ i4 D, a) Q) u1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 j& Z9 x$ ~* H; v% {
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour3 b' q: d5 D# v- S
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; w/ M7 k( R2 U7 f' T+ ^3 i
}# E: c0 Y* N( C( a# J3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its i" i6 n, R- c& F9 O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest) g$ Y2 W p2 Y' z& |( G8 N, |
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* _0 Y1 Y: h9 S) u. t# _go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 F) K' u+ G. @
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 _1 s/ x0 ]* N* _) p1 `& x
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 T: Q3 w# u& o2 s
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 n- m2 Z6 S, `: d; T/ g0 K
: i1 v% D; K% k( }" v9 c! E5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that! D: c+ A( k2 u9 ]
can get you shot.
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E4 p! f" f3 M4 v6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
: M% x/ [5 e1 K, Z9 O* vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next% i/ H( s; R( X2 v
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 ^3 i2 ^) ]$ g1 E/ T0 x" Zmore construction starts everyday." G% ?- g8 F/ L+ `
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 X( Y. S+ c! mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 f _+ R8 J% Z# M! {& K" [% U# Psquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 j, {9 G; j% y1 I$ M
; x4 ~ r, F+ G% R/ h8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all% {0 T% J6 H8 E& @" ^; W8 p3 V/ z
the same road.2 w0 k/ L9 p8 V! ^9 A4 y( R. ~/ @
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 [( K: Z- J, ~shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
" y4 ^9 m& h* |zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
+ E" c( o' I+ caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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( W8 `. V! B. F11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur+ }% e' A4 Z, H
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and# I I5 _% W4 t8 R3 C
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! _# P& i0 E# Xvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
