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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 f$ Y; ~& W8 R$ x# _- T 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and" s f/ L. u W2 a% i* a
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" k5 l* [# o0 J% |capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .1 J, ^& t- j& I1 T# e f7 \
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- D j0 R+ O, i& ^1 ucapital of Canada .; B( L) c5 P: d' z! M5 w, G) C
/ l& B C+ E* W% N! q1 o* ]& p8 \6 J 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is: ^5 F/ \( { A6 b' d0 Z
$8.00/hour.
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/ j* w5 k% {# y) V$ [ 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) Z% V+ N; e! S5 P3 M
3 T) y$ f: Z l+ H$ Q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ X* d3 w0 F% B- e2 [% D" ~
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& v- A& f* C2 {3 y- u; eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ i k8 F) k+ D P4 n5 e; C: [years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone./ e4 m- q' w% O6 X9 U
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 i1 [8 m! Y( x Y) v, u
4 G8 q& X0 o2 Z2 ]- X) k1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' b# `3 [+ B; M" t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: Q* t" u* i+ p- R7 `/ j
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
k9 M& z" k. c# g, Fown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 g1 Y/ k" M2 {" o
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( {) d3 Q4 X, Z0 w8 j. a$ Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell' q5 o+ K7 S; p$ V% X* G- p; x5 M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 q5 ]/ o( B X* L2 p
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 |9 l; J2 j$ d: [7 {) U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, l. @# t* n. `% P" @/ f
can get you shot.
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, H- Q- j- Q7 _( H/ n4 D6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, i1 h" g. c. u% Y% W0 d' d
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 g4 ^. Q0 ~, x! z' q9 L2 kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 ^ ]' Y! G% C; O# m( d
more construction starts everyday.
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4 l1 D% s% M1 u7 A$ E# ~+ _. U+ k* \( V 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 s. y) I2 M' V4 G# n8 D4 sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ @- a( @0 d$ _2 }5 _/ _3 d: }" `# a, ^, ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 `# R: c' |5 p; Y! t5 V8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# i' `4 C8 S+ t! P0 i
the same road.4 p# Z! J: T8 c& L' t0 M
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# @7 ^$ H5 W) Z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 \1 e8 J0 l' Z$ d2 C+ C- B; K
activated."# @8 ~: W# k, E
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 P8 @2 n/ Y/ K7 y, _# k, izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"6 c5 L/ ?9 K# v+ Q) L0 ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., g2 t }" [) u7 Z* G
5 {$ r& @7 @/ A5 K6 O11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" |* v4 T/ n* L1 l: G% rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; e2 k+ Q2 F, M- @; \9 @% D. X
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ C7 A1 E0 Z$ n0 M& Q( S9 \8 \virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
