 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
4 Z' Q; \! D2 S; k- Q) g* u; r; N3 h9 s' A4 h, [+ [' |+ a
' Z& R# W$ `3 U2 S" U, i" _
/ F" Y0 ^1 |* j% J 1. Bring your own house., F( K& L3 r( I2 R: k$ O
! z! h* S4 U" V; v& U
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' E4 z# w% u: _
hospital.
9 Z2 N# C2 d1 g: \0 S! T* E
: R/ i9 b+ @7 o) X- _$ F 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ N% t8 C$ v- `
capital of Canada .6 W+ U) i, X+ U' F5 k' Z! D- d
% g& a+ ^5 @' F, o0 k9 [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
, k L7 D* b7 G1 ]; U2 X4 ?9 t2 }- \' ]" P \ x5 p" X
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
& Q: H- {1 J7 B7 X: b3 zcapital of Canada ." C! J6 g0 g, [0 O( [2 U& j" s3 ]
- E/ y+ x' J* z; D 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
* L/ _6 j+ q* c$8.00/hour.
3 h% ~ f4 R: _$ t6 t4 \* k
. W, ]# i- {' p+ l2 y0 t 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
1 X0 g4 L+ l5 d
) O" _. S" K. z9 X8 {1 w 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* F; F# a; a* X. j' e' H' ?
on a 15 year holiday ?% G! @& T" g8 p: N9 t
! l% w1 R" z$ r, C4 ]/ u {( n
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, B- }! l6 q) A- l( ?3 sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)" r9 O% P1 X5 r* [+ B8 o$ v7 R
; `' o5 O9 I* ~10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" X6 |0 M, G/ [* _
here sick.9 Q) P, K* p8 I/ V4 T' @
6 L3 r5 w2 W0 G2 ^
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
; P5 Z4 V3 x& M1 {) M$ U* Byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.8 l) k2 M/ w; ]/ J3 H: B! o
0 l; w7 y9 z! `3 c/ [
8 s& ^ v% T4 |3 ^* G' O
2 _* l3 I8 I6 d. [) r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
$ T0 y% s* L7 T
% |) ]: Q: M2 A5 r) h1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
1 Q ?+ J2 |* m! k5 F) u1 D
/ s; V D1 ^7 j5 A6 W5 Q2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ _* Y0 t D4 [8 R. w2 x& T
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
l: h! {8 F- ~; q8 a- @2 H; @0 k( p. ]' q0 e0 M
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its& v" a0 J8 g, ~+ V0 z/ C
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" V" r0 q* j! Y1 V- S L0 P) Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires& E Z0 x* [% y4 @, \ {
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 w5 h5 E. T }; @' Uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
g" x& A0 X! z
- k! J, Z- x- p1 o' L2 @% b2 Q4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,5 w1 Y: a. N, K+ i! a" @& ^
cussed out, and possibly shot.# k# J- y0 Q( t6 F9 e9 b" k% N
6 p2 g6 ]( [% h1 ]
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that7 Q4 r3 R7 l, \" [ ?7 b
can get you shot.
5 ?' y, Y' a8 ]' C5 h& k0 S1 ]0 J8 Z5 `3 @7 d1 @) Z0 ~; L, n
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour, F+ I3 G3 z% w! |2 S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
N8 n* U/ K, E! Y0 f0 E3 Gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ f* a" i i; z! M
more construction starts everyday.) B: a( D. O% J u: j" f
. @: j/ _* v* E1 v& |* i0 N. k+ w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 ?5 A. P! D2 e% r# q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 k& K, Y) B1 b: e" e4 D
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
2 D2 j, q5 o5 e& S! i& a6 H
$ k/ v* G. o8 ^. W$ ~; _8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 U% r1 O! q7 T" N: v
the same road." P% y3 E; u E& I! S
. H0 N Q1 z+ g, o9 G9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
2 d, x# i. y! O1 l! x8 [& P% Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
% K! F' O; d" T: Aactivated."3 ?/ C% y% P) f2 _; {6 e% h
1 z2 W8 t- a) n$ x/ ?; A9 p
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
8 ?( e& g0 Z& Z7 B" Z$ {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* K1 d0 o3 ^) N( y% N, Qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 \- y6 P8 G; y2 H4 b
|: S; d* M: I5 b& K! E2 W3 R
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 M/ _0 D- L' l( G0 Rlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 D* f' K: |! w0 Vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 ~' S3 L. D: C tvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
5 m/ G8 B8 i; ~2 m9 o4 S/ l9 l
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
# u, b1 c4 T6 P8 G% i$ |2 l
