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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA; k5 e! v7 D% u+ Y; `7 E* g/ D" N" C, Z
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1. Bring your own house.
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2 k7 X+ ~- {  Q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 B& ~' F. D/ O0 ~: v# R9 k
hospital.4 o( v+ ~8 Q/ m! N0 j# w, v
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder) `1 P: ]' E, C6 |
capital of Canada .; s( a6 u; `5 J  M" [( j2 w

+ [4 x8 U+ M1 _0 G4 H9 a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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- h5 h$ r( K5 t2 \ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: w: R8 ?2 d# w. ~# k. X& [
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 H7 A- U  }+ K, G$8.00/hour., e3 L, J4 p; U: L- X7 v$ k
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money2 T1 \4 c7 k+ h1 j% K
on a 15 year holiday ?) B/ w& `# I5 m0 i: Z# z

. [2 Y/ |+ x2 L% ~8 u9 q5 l3 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
5 ~/ m$ P& @( Q2 C  x0 z( o, m' d* lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; t4 t% ~4 {: a& V2 _6 e) dhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: t, @, y8 U7 N" \* H  y, ^years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." g9 j* v) ]+ W6 n* m/ M5 m8 l# a

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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  \# I4 ]/ O# N7 O* _2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' c" f5 F% n! M. p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." {  l. @) E5 _
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ @' t5 \/ o, Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: G+ R: |2 I5 O, g, V
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires5 M( q3 i  F5 x/ p# S
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% @0 j, i4 U( l( f7 a$ F' N/ hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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( B9 z5 B& s6 x4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,& l' M3 G- J+ Z: {
cussed out, and possibly shot., f' L; n2 @8 j; L

7 Z! a$ ~& E% e: y% ]) m2 @  L  h7 O5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
7 C* X3 q+ p! M. F" Kcan get you shot.
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# S, R, C9 \) t- a6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour9 C! k6 u5 V! C% t
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ q  C- n8 ^; n/ t
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
; p- ]0 T- k9 h- gmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
! }$ q, {" y9 C& U/ u( C% {! p0 Odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, _& }4 O  H2 v# h) v3 Esquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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  j! n2 _) v6 }! a8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" o! @, C. h2 Q0 E
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ @3 Q# K% L5 g! H6 U" Z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally( [5 q+ O  l% ]! ~
activated."9 a+ ^; d7 h7 v, q6 `

- ]/ U% C1 }, |10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 f6 O$ S! y# x. `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 d7 d, G6 R: d3 d% E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# E0 l9 M! d8 A0 L4 k
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ g* |" g5 M( `, z% C1 {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 g& Y- W# w# X7 iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 F! `, I( e/ u. ]+ c! f' S( Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
  Z! \: G/ n1 O& o满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。! ~( h$ g. C) s! h& {+ F# O: o( @
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 1 s0 x3 d& J5 F: d/ ?! ]0 c+ A
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ) k) }; z4 Y& }

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 2 j5 U6 {% C' y3 Z& t3 L' I1 b
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% Y4 V) L8 L1 g" X满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 7 z# k4 w- a  x) g) {# w, j

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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' f. R5 _. o2 k* r5 G这么刺痛你了吗?  H6 b3 ~% [. _5 X3 p8 ^3 h
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ) `2 K5 b. A4 F% a# K- ~4 l
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' Q; I8 E5 A! v4 J3 [  J  M$ x满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。4 [: q1 f& v; l+ X

4 R3 o# H/ @3 d3 I/ c再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.9 C' r/ H1 v" F4 |, r8 E5 T

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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