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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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, V: A( n* w3 ~2 ]9 r1 R 1. Bring your own house.3 `0 ^ n9 k! l% h. B" @$ X& `
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 p# v2 z) _3 j0 J
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" A- \/ m% Q0 h* t M# D" Mcapital of Canada .1 b3 Y- ]* `3 G
- `! [/ n h3 ~- q) f3 I5 f' D 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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% @, ~; P( u* ` 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
$ l1 M* [$ {/ \# gcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is5 S6 ^, `! k s% z V( r- _
$8.00/hour.
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7 K% W1 p- z n8 t 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 g) |# `# ]' m$ j- A- Y8 D/ m
4 x1 U9 n- o6 M$ q/ o/ R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money, G+ @# c) f t. f, ]1 t7 ^; [
on a 15 year holiday ?% }) V# b- }# l0 e9 @5 C9 F
* z9 Q/ C9 z3 [( V 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 L" q8 C& c4 w. E1 M3 u a( r
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)* a% A, G; c( ?
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 U' M- K: r3 Q" P, O1 `* W/ C6 I
here sick.# C$ h. T B5 q0 O; X) ]7 z( I- a
* v5 D4 E, B# q7 N- Y& p11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, e$ x; e, }$ E. l' H* S# s8 q3 v! ?years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.' U: L0 `9 E _& d6 Z
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, Z- ^( G2 e& a* e( Y$ D' V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1 e% |( J5 \. l7 y- D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 e# L7 h9 R( ]6 c# y4 A" @
* g5 F& M3 b4 t% J, W" w2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' ^' Z5 P* M( y- z7 ?: {4 s
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* i8 m& L3 k% q# v& f; O
. K) z2 Z* ]* B6 G) M8 ?5 Y& \& h3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% f4 p+ I- s( w; u; T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 u- j/ m; u4 Q2 _5 F1 Y7 Jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 W6 {4 p- T& y! m% H
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. a' i1 m% d1 ` W6 `% Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! W- E( ~2 e2 ` w5 p* n3 [
7 s$ C% W; r# K+ x% O4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 Z8 l5 W' ]2 T9 Bcussed out, and possibly shot.
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" ~* G3 \4 l7 Z. C6 C3 e$ H( N5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 J, K' F4 h% _6 x5 Wcan get you shot." M, V. \' D# C* N
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour! @4 [( C, N* ?% @0 i6 k: h
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next4 n' ?0 n; N/ D5 Q$ u/ R9 Y/ j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ k+ ^. Z, z7 W1 H# Y- B$ l4 ymore construction starts everyday.7 f9 U) E3 C* U) r) P
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,! h- @% f- ?8 I$ v* s/ k5 y. {
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 Y# o9 Z. P0 F- {# dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., @$ M1 ~$ V: Q, B% Y8 J9 @' W
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
6 t+ Y' ^$ @7 s" s2 r3 A8 Tthe same road.
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9 M3 e& g2 `1 C9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the8 e8 F# C9 v- s( D) T
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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! X3 X, {( j% L0 @3 l/ v10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 D* T4 \* R- x2 }6 M; mzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" w; i$ v% s$ J) G
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: z) E8 K4 w# g1 _
n8 e7 V" ?# d7 l* V/ w6 x11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# Z5 ~$ {$ _3 `; \) {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: p5 o* F0 E7 A, s' y( F' {blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
6 E+ I1 o/ ~8 C4 Wvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
