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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA) C, `& f2 [# z& I: c
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+ e& @/ K4 M6 Q: T7 Q* x& M 1. Bring your own house.
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$ O6 W/ W ~; W 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and6 S2 f% y2 g& B+ @! |) s
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder5 E5 g; U) O0 D3 v
capital of Canada .
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9 \6 ~8 y" |. d M ]- k6 @" c 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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% _* a3 E! x3 Q+ M1 J9 l3 i 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 ]" V' r( ?. P# C- O" f9 ]5 s
capital of Canada .) |7 Q3 z: o) g, Y& x1 L. s
' e, l1 S2 y& _ n 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 W+ Y* S- @6 i$8.00/hour.3 H5 I. U N6 P& _+ k
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 V8 Q3 x3 r1 O
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money. f, ]9 ~* X! r7 J. q
on a 15 year holiday ?6 y. C1 y" m9 g0 `8 E& _
) d/ j/ z5 S7 x; M3 v! R 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' |; V; _0 j& i) |, u, {* vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
3 D+ _/ F' h3 X7 I' |, `, shere sick. Z1 W" Z' q- C
, {9 t" T0 `- N& v. r4 S. G11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
: b& |. c; ]/ b8 m6 i0 z1 E* syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# T6 ]# V8 `2 J% D
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :! S( c* B: U9 j% _9 w
$ R4 ~9 U# b7 ~' s* T1 x5 w1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".3 z4 O* {( m% B. V$ V7 c
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 |: H& ^0 h# H! [* j e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# X6 M7 Z6 c& }5 z3 u6 e1 c
( b3 I6 {) e T( f ~ @3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ J( Z# v; c: b. c1 lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest# j; w' l( l" c5 J
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' ^" s9 P9 p: z1 @go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
! L( ]# Y; C! ?# [phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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" W: }; `3 I# j! d; }2 }1 N4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. Y) w$ O# O* v1 x
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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+ u. s: _+ R4 L# t$ ]6 A8 g5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
6 s: t! e1 S' r4 x7 E; [can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour' P1 k7 A+ I0 [7 o
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) v* h A* r( L+ w7 h
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 }. p! C' d) t0 q5 Mmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,# A9 u) v" Y6 A' g6 T! Y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 b) @: g# X6 O5 r5 n& f! ^squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 n X# y$ K+ T$ l) ]
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 G6 F3 i1 P# W2 X {- O
the same road.4 J, i- x# Y4 {) j( B, r. o
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, v. C: O8 G6 O4 Qshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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7 M- T9 P2 X, c7 C! }10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km4 w; O, s# i5 A) u
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
- B4 Q7 t/ a( V6 s( p& R$ q# haccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. x( ~+ k0 B( v0 t3 a4 a
8 h/ h: w* o% `: _8 v% B/ w, s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur/ V* e$ A0 G1 l, I; y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 X0 P Z5 I+ y, k7 ?; sblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. L4 \2 H) X/ b9 s) Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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