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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 y, b! j" r. ~9 u* v
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7 o/ f) _7 a( A' A( r3 Q 1. Bring your own house.
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0 O9 g$ l0 o/ w3 t/ f* i$ u3 i# b 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and: T6 t0 I, a: Z5 [7 t
hospital.3 e1 L, n7 }' M
3 b0 j0 ~% h. Z/ W7 A/ Q! `, ^* | 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& U9 U! e& Q/ J. _capital of Canada .( I, h3 |/ M* }6 w$ @
6 u7 a1 w+ v1 O 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., ^1 k' H2 g' n4 }7 ^3 n9 }% _ k) c
# q. p( E+ D, U p, [* U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug' L0 @8 X9 v, a3 k2 }
capital of Canada .1 I9 V, _6 f7 u' t
8 Y7 b2 I7 G$ Z. p9 j0 o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% W) |- z4 g/ ~. }# _5 [
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money P( s$ G8 b* M9 G! n9 ~' r" `/ x
on a 15 year holiday ?
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' p! X0 U1 {1 M( V( ^7 i# r 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) u2 D# O# z( Q7 c6 a5 |
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 D# h* x+ V0 U U/ C- Z! J
here sick.! J- ]- p0 m5 k4 L/ |! I
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; f' _. L4 z" `, W& j# ~0 B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- B+ V6 J0 D2 A9 M' @0 `
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 q' f% t0 \& D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- G9 M, f O+ ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ ? B$ T+ n {3 v( R( b% S8 U
' ^, F/ e4 d8 X U/ p( S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. B3 w. d) P/ `/ O9 O* G4 Y# e- O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# n+ |9 i7 z/ p; k5 ?muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires6 M* z) g2 |1 c: w' j! ]* @% @
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" E9 d+ S5 b* A5 v* N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, X; `3 n2 d( _( C! @, z: Rcussed out, and possibly shot.: n) {0 F; l9 Q! e
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
% R, x( U% u% E, n d* T0 ecan get you shot.
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% [4 A" k) M6 l* M% V, \% G6 E- J+ z5 Z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) A" ?, J% e/ E+ t$ J6 v* Nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# w6 w% S( A% b! q% Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- b# r, R U% F+ C6 G; |0 L4 K8 S
more construction starts everyday.4 g5 `7 G4 V& |* @( O6 K* j5 N
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 e- j# M; S* ]
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% x1 U5 X" G/ E p8 ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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7 W8 Q# h% p2 ] t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# O6 W1 ^0 C& Q2 vthe same road.
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; o& q6 P8 v" k# i# o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% |) \: C% G }2 |shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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2 Y* v. _7 g! R10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 N5 S4 K( O! Q" T! b) u0 X3 `1 z+ l3 Jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* b% A8 d B0 Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 `9 d' e7 a$ o$ r" L9 I! j' [( K( E
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, n T9 `# k; }' [( a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 R- I+ K. [+ K4 K2 v2 Nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( v7 @8 j* e+ z( I. N- T; k( gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
