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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 f' c# H; L- D% ^; O5 y( f! ?

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1. Bring your own house.: r& j( c( @# m/ |" x4 d; f
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and* w+ u4 O( ^; C& d
hospital.
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2 N; Q' a) j; D9 I4 l/ P 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' V, {' d9 Z7 e6 Y& w6 }
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug$ T) B# D7 Y: i% s# P+ g9 U) [" t9 {
capital of Canada .
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+ M+ Q( U, p8 p 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 D1 G: q5 E) g: _  L! {$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 `' ^0 [0 W/ h" b+ Q
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money8 d. z4 W! Y5 S" l) M
on a 15 year holiday ?
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( H- l. A) J; C 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 O- K. j( W* {" k! \# i; _prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come8 f% h- P: P8 ~3 k
here sick.
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: ]6 H. i* f4 f# ]11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ S' Z# O# S$ r" K( `4 o( P6 {years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.  |" ^$ y- ~4 g: t8 i; k! h3 b) `
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( K" R! K+ L4 n# b6 }+ F THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :8 t9 y! t% G* P
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) }8 N  S8 ]6 Q3 K. b- K
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' l! @% {  L- [' J8 c6 ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 C! V8 t1 A3 O* E' I
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 a( o2 O2 _; Q+ S1 g
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, ?! H+ Q2 x( L  `# |9 r7 Z# K5 k
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
4 ~" H5 q1 P( J/ f4 M' uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 U5 H" A7 O/ s4 `cussed out, and possibly shot.& ]2 z- Q( h3 T/ D5 e6 X
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that( K2 E' r3 ]" o' z$ s& M
can get you shot.# K+ K/ p" J3 @/ A- B- T& L

8 s+ \$ i0 i2 p& Q- B0 _+ e/ w6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* C4 q7 E# ^& i; Q& P+ l( N8 X
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next$ C! {4 u) {, l
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
' d. A, F% Z, r6 I) I+ C& smore construction starts everyday.; {3 K& H1 ^  A1 q) C- ^

8 G! Y7 A* ?4 N% p4 a( A  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 v, J4 [9 K5 B' r: N& M# Qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,' A- \& G/ e6 b9 m# S5 H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." ?% N" o" w6 l2 G( I/ N
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all' u; S0 k6 x5 ~: o/ `  J7 Z
the same road.; J( h5 E: p0 r' K- g& |

, {  i, r' I1 X% P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( ^7 j( V* G. V# ]9 K9 n/ W  P- p
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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: \9 T9 S+ s# }. Y# B10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 M+ @$ g: o3 f& x& }: R& t8 qzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
" U. L/ s" d2 s8 Q8 t- I" vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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+ D; \6 {  O6 G7 s11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! ^$ r8 C2 W3 o3 qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
2 ~2 y6 u1 J+ B+ lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) ?/ K6 m! M/ L8 T8 \
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。, z5 Z0 [# n. c
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
# Y/ @( ~; g) H' W有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : 4 J/ J3 \- E( s/ m

5 z. U: ~9 ^6 U9 n; t, ^此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 1 C  S& F# p' F  b  N+ r' ^+ H2 j( N
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 % P" }1 i- S! x6 @/ q
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。3 o. K! d! P/ Z9 Q1 u& I
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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+ X0 P: G# T  V2 |: Z" p" o5 w这么刺痛你了吗?
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 ' T7 s3 C5 V, b$ y
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。% V7 _  R$ U! B1 Z" U$ k) z+ k' T
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。4 N7 z7 [) y  `. Q2 f% n9 N: c
...

* {4 B' E9 w, }  k/ n% p) a你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。  X/ ?. p) _9 B6 o1 t- `
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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