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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 @% ^+ V% S) I$ O* j

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  E5 }9 Y( y7 V$ f 1. Bring your own house.
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  D. M: Q8 I3 ]  ~ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 D9 |# R1 \' N" m+ V
hospital.
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& ?, N% a$ z9 u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder7 X; |! w5 O: C6 x/ Q! P& @
capital of Canada .
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1 Z+ @" L4 m: L8 `6 ` 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .# R, V+ |/ m  T& A1 _) }) ~

2 O# @% p$ M3 O  p0 n 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" b0 c, W- }' f' ?0 g
capital of Canada .
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9 b6 g& \% R4 ~; t; |( ]& R+ Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 ^5 K; s/ Y- Z& x. G
$8.00/hour.& b% |2 X; }2 K# B# u2 L

9 z; T4 i7 |" ]9 W7 s# z: A7 ` 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.  ^1 C" p8 F5 w

# E0 k( W" B5 L 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& B) a  W% L  B, eon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 Y# ^! ~% z& ^: E( j
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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7 r5 }1 R# D# o! e$ H  ^10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 |& c$ f, Y4 B7 r; d; i. e
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12$ I; Y& Y2 l- h+ i' ?; y7 B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone." _. q  X# ^/ E. Q
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :3 ?8 Q4 b0 ?& k' N4 ?

# U" \/ Q# C+ C9 Q3 d0 D/ K0 }1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".2 o% H5 M, \6 k* a' A
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 A: d1 K' V' w2 O4 f/ sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% X& y7 G/ \1 p' h6 }) T) I5 @

' T# o1 V$ k2 _3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: c" Z/ h  I+ {2 kown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 j; d2 L' S7 y( T* P; nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# @; H# c: O7 `( N2 j0 g
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell, W8 }1 X9 n: E/ W0 u& I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, I6 o4 M, g$ G4 m# {$ `! h( ocussed out, and possibly shot.
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# L& M6 b1 ]4 a. ^7 [5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 y( j2 l3 S# k& ~, I+ I
can get you shot.$ \# L3 r" n2 b! Z0 s& z
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
' J: x0 |0 H/ y( |. B4 Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 O+ {1 S" O3 V7 p* I  {4 S
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
3 C" X. Y7 x, h6 [: T' U' D# umore construction starts everyday.( _: A+ L' j6 {; {. k$ H

- J& T7 C2 f+ f6 @4 L  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
; Q) L, W  s7 D/ Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 f7 T4 F1 @8 a' Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 w" q. f* F; D( ^! m- Q9 u2 C

- M  E2 G" F7 t1 w3 C8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 G- p# k/ m5 p% J9 f( G
the same road.  x4 t) ], N$ j1 B/ [# ^3 l" ?6 B
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' \6 G  a# b! A8 U! R7 kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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: v7 M5 Z+ J" T- g  q! T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km5 F) e- _. M# C" j4 T" @
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 X8 J, ?# j! \/ m& _% B: I- Daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 d! Q( @5 W, w7 l5 {, l) w; e6 L
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
5 ]1 ^/ H; F& P1 A  K6 s7 g2 glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, J! t4 _, c5 i8 j
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is1 w8 l/ d8 a0 J! S/ `6 \0 V
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。0 T4 \: y9 J3 _5 a8 G4 I
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。: M2 O8 ]: Y+ f- R
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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* [- b& X% S: [[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
/ Y7 _: q+ _4 D& o( M朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。* B+ W0 f1 e4 [0 {- g4 P
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。; |% w- c0 ?. M! e9 N) f" U' y9 x
...
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?
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4 R6 C1 L0 C! C2 H4 O" |( D我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
" Y/ @0 c5 h" d/ T/ M' P3 r; h朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。: X; S. i- _% Q8 D4 ^6 J( L
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。% I/ `/ P( h) M; g
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.0 y- F4 d  O8 B) E2 p9 x

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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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