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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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. |9 Y5 I' g; E8 I/ V" m! A 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. I% B5 p" }$ O% i& P( C! H% a$ F5 N
hospital.! \* p3 o% O7 r& h/ c/ N. b9 t( O
/ H1 E8 c$ ]2 w2 P r 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder; \. B+ J; A, ^0 W
capital of Canada .) v/ f. a2 x3 j3 z3 }5 \7 W
- i8 f/ W# c& v3 m# z/ \+ u# H; e( [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ H3 t0 F" B8 ~+ F1 Jcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is* g* a% Z7 w$ j! {+ i
$8.00/hour.
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% d4 E7 i9 l6 B! e& Q$ P5 M7 ? 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.9 c$ \2 O( A& d. p) i
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 E7 m( t3 s1 x7 _" g
on a 15 year holiday ?
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K: V6 D2 l* y' M, e5 R. B4 v 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
8 R/ a. S3 `2 h* I6 h. N5 aprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 f3 T5 f% ~9 Y2 N% R8 [: e
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% E V v }% f4 U% e
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" t Q# p' B1 ^4 d& vyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# M- ~3 {8 u5 h% [$ x! j- V
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5 {0 C, X0 L& c* P THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% T: @3 x" h! x( P6 y
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".* q) C }* V. F5 B/ d1 u
7 i" \- [4 l5 J0 h5 R! T2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
& t$ S+ i( }' ~is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, `8 @2 j' q. a' T7 {6 O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 V5 T d; F/ l4 c- {* D
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ B5 H7 W4 |6 ?$ F# z* pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell9 b! O# Y) r: t: v5 e# Z
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 B3 g9 O/ S! q5 c8 z6 ~" |
) Y0 S& l! B- s! V. Q" x, Z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
0 `' b1 e( U( P lcussed out, and possibly shot.2 ~% j" [$ X5 h% G, V$ Y
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& a% n( n& n* n' s% a7 v/ ]can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour- e3 S# ?1 ~) a6 V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 r T9 b7 Q' T! z2 _! Y7 Fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! d; F7 }- {: @* D8 Z$ F0 ]6 L M: tmore construction starts everyday.3 G: X. z* ]+ Q- G* M x
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 k, k- [5 \+ U9 L B* L0 Vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. v& g- @" m+ s3 v3 i
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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* x$ o+ O1 |5 B9 z4 p3 e9 j8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& @5 R t% O( o1 {1 j0 S
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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' Y$ g- X+ X8 A4 J: H S/ g10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km5 ?' }; @0 o# f; D2 C- k, j
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"$ c: J/ V v, p2 y5 x: ?0 p
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# z! ~& r1 N: L" J! l, }$ r, \
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur) H# a2 H; i" F' U# G
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" r: {5 H& {4 z) ?8 t4 Jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
3 B: \! f. P2 Yvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
