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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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* ~, F: [2 F9 y' {# S9 } 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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2 b+ J; H+ ?) q/ w, T0 s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder- g; a5 B* T( w3 X$ |( r
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) \) L3 A1 W* W' E
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& R! s2 _& R" q k0 \
$8.00/hour.
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: L9 R2 Z0 S. W) d' u 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 d3 w9 S2 h. }: \
7 P X* p4 Y+ c' D+ D8 ? 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money, L, ^$ A- W- m$ m1 z0 s! `
on a 15 year holiday ?* u9 [0 y! k/ a1 t" x
" J" Z! d; s" r' [$ B5 d 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 O6 ]/ | Q9 k; N
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come! d* Z+ ~4 x: f! D# t! b
here sick.3 }( g2 {+ t" i8 Y# o
* n# k I! X/ M1 T11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 {. s; i+ H; Z) G3 j- gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. \, e: I, s6 v' O6 g
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8 P; u7 o+ b0 D$ b THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, c2 b( O& D, Y4 `
: r9 x( \/ l% Q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour- n: b5 {/ J7 A/ X2 ?; a# ^% Y
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* N% M) P) E$ f3 O0 P! I
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
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go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: ?% s- X9 V4 Y9 e' Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,6 q1 M; d8 y; H# O2 b4 i( z/ \
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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! ?1 w4 @- s/ k5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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1 m2 T: `9 f4 U/ T) `5 x: l4 P6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour A: F2 ?/ i. A( O: O
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) \4 Q, f, D7 {, A* @
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 o' j/ h7 _+ V/ j
more construction starts everyday.7 u! y* z' E. D4 _8 n D( ^
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( V8 g6 c9 r/ jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' g9 n* C4 ?' z! C- K' Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 I+ w" W1 @; V6 H5 v/ [# Z
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all) q% N1 p- U% d+ c* T, E
the same road.
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E1 p$ e3 `! l1 @0 i9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the R$ m6 n' O m5 B0 q" D5 G- s
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) ?& _ `6 \8 j4 ?7 j* d4 u& I6 |9 ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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