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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.$ ~0 Z& b9 p, s1 w: J2 w9 p9 {
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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4 ^3 ~) i m4 H6 U& Q 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
$ }: W- k7 ^; @- m( O2 N/ dcapital of Canada .) H# Z4 V) g- ^. P' K5 j* s9 M
4 X: t2 X$ N, f$ U 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .2 b, g2 p8 O. G6 J W
6 u) z/ D* `( M# O/ j& L 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- U: R' M) ]: vcapital of Canada .- W. i8 L6 r$ Z/ i8 ?' L
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
- q, q! E1 _$ L, H7 y3 n$8.00/hour.& I) Z) n0 S$ k3 o1 w9 U
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& A5 {3 v) e$ G& F5 f
% A0 g' B% t" g% g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money/ {3 T! @3 {5 L% b2 b& O1 Y
on a 15 year holiday ?5 a% n! q! m% W9 H, \
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
/ b5 L5 k7 U. ]+ F2 iprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage) Z; r$ Y+ w/ N, W5 ~# j
& N2 a* X0 v; H; L% v- u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" P2 L) h" y3 c/ ^( n. N( p
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12/ x% `7 K$ u/ R/ H' p3 r
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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) m4 S8 ~' C* l. p/ { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 n, R; i" \8 L: A* _( Q, [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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; t6 b( J) O* I( U# H9 ?: ~, ^! p2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
6 h; o! _; S8 @8 b# y. Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.9 F# G* @" Z+ z+ Z9 ~3 Z7 u0 X
I/ E9 L5 F, {& [- h) R9 m/ h2 c3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 o- \7 X$ n- T
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! H! |7 J0 B: l) k. W. \! zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ V9 {, w) k9 q7 }7 S
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 ~! v" `9 m- c5 R
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 S/ S- A/ o2 O# v4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
- O7 X2 l. n" q' @ q1 _cussed out, and possibly shot.
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$ {* N1 M% l% F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 ?" c# V; V! {& k" D
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. n9 x/ o( M) @1 Z4 L8 C1 S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
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more construction starts everyday.- Y9 p) Y. L( j0 B p& e1 [
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 H; l5 d5 l: I( E3 Q; ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( g/ C+ c/ ?. ~ p/ u. E' [, m1 d; E' Y9 jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all& H. P" \: g0 r. C" q$ b
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
$ `" t0 T' a# G6 ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" r% d' k( \& }5 d; x
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km2 S$ K6 X. ^ n$ y& K
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
0 r8 j, A2 ?3 y6 D* {, X' s8 Laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.4 R# I& u* {" r
$ _' ]$ o( o8 p) K11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
) @' q8 O; ]4 llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; v" ~$ o, U* O
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is, a% i' W; S6 O: c. j- L
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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