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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.9 ?$ F$ N+ @" p
7 q: Q" f0 \5 w& D* k! _4 ^ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3 Q* u$ H% ~1 c: X% B$ M 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
, F9 O$ G" Y2 C7 z$ z* h$ vcapital of Canada ., A1 i1 ^6 G& T6 r+ A& @0 f
$ b# X* t4 j! M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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; l' x }5 @6 Q* N! Y } 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
! v- k7 p- c4 K. @capital of Canada .0 Z f% p4 p* J+ m
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is X1 n# B, E5 R
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." g4 j' g; J6 p. v8 `
. P D& d/ W4 t* N- z% U- n1 t9 L 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
6 U: P3 U, P# B7 g! s5 Q4 d" T8 pon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; a3 l m* o4 eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), T8 a$ d9 f: N! Q( @. ?
# x0 h) H9 n3 D$ t10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 `. ~& Y Z W8 l8 b% ^ u/ R' Pyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.; \) d# Z) \7 ~7 {0 A6 i
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :7 a e# J" o4 J: E4 `" q$ m
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "./ W0 }4 m. T9 I4 a
2 p, A: \- w7 A: D* M; c$ G9 u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
, {8 Y- A) |% U* u$ l" ^is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.+ q9 U. M! w7 q e2 b
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 u9 v k0 q; D# J& Qown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 u9 X2 ?7 K! ]$ }5 F; l* Q1 Amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 ^ G. ]9 ?, d8 r- ~go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) [+ q0 f2 I, Z' ~. X1 `& ~0 sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.- o# t* s- _; q* @6 |' s
5 {4 `7 R. v% w0 k- b4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' y* I+ \! R. p- f
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ M: {9 o* N, ~% L
can get you shot." l, ?( u) s. N4 `8 m9 r7 K8 H5 j
& D& w( L9 S( d8 w' h& B* `7 b6 g {6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
9 ~9 u4 e& w; x6 o& q2 W3 C: zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 Z/ g, Y: b+ j4 M
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* n# U2 d: }' r; ~3 p0 e9 Emore construction starts everyday.
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) ]( q* Y% Q9 \6 f5 G 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,& l( w$ q# {) @
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
O2 y9 B" a. G* j, qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% Q ?- L6 @/ b4 p
% U) B/ }1 x' Q/ L5 ^3 P8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* I. e9 u/ t* C' J0 Nthe same road.
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, P) t2 Q, r* D$ P; V4 U9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 B5 L h% L+ b; {* \% ]4 Q" c5 w
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally; {, p+ }$ h% ` M
activated."
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! f) l% z4 y, [ z$ F10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km$ o% | x$ q( s! e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
?( m* D) c$ ]" {3 a2 maccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur ~# p; P9 l% f. R4 t
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# X2 ?6 D' S( N/ Ablankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) p0 H! O+ C2 n; w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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