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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.1 s9 y' d/ ~1 n0 e7 z7 R i
3 J. ` T; U+ a8 Y/ w8 l 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and9 D9 |% p% A- w& O
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( F$ x ]" E' n" r% u% l9 ucapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* q7 l4 z- O4 N* Y! u. r# _9 ]
" b- j9 w: ^* n% W- ^" x8 Y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ }) G; @* Z; D! i2 D5 Y: @
capital of Canada .9 f9 e4 H8 o* Q5 B8 q8 ]8 _4 z
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
2 s' F$ F' _7 R3 k* Q1 I$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8 Z: }- ]2 B+ m: y5 q" Y$ `0 v9 N 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money& N) A/ T# E% B2 Z9 j
on a 15 year holiday ?, ]' b2 o% B S2 R( Y( G+ l! V
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! x c3 c, v% |, {* }6 [
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come* o% S# C1 c" G4 g, t; K
here sick.% N" I" j5 u- r
9 A) K7 U& o- P( ^4 G4 z" u& h" ^! C9 ?11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# X0 N$ l6 y& ]* V. j% Oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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& b( {* c) i" T THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% `3 ~9 T3 K" Q) Q
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour( T% [% D3 I3 l; p
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& b3 j6 {. W* |* l$ N/ W! S2 z
$ g/ I4 q: }/ K1 \+ h- \3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 v4 R) m# m8 [) d( o: n5 `$ V, Mown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ N6 G. Y/ L( o5 ?4 z, y; Fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ r! N8 H( S" k) Sgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell6 n6 u) C8 c+ h8 T* O' Y: `
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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* y2 n6 b2 o: L6 r4 J" d- N4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 P4 W- V# _; l) x
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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X- `; I, U, n7 }$ H% V5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' |. c- ^8 z' }1 M" _
can get you shot.( ?& G. _6 o: Y" x
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour: _7 G9 Y4 f5 u, Q" Z
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ Y0 f/ X& c) o# `) ^day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ q0 [% X: L* A8 umore construction starts everyday.. }7 J2 s8 E4 Z1 e# D& k, k8 V' v: ~3 ?2 @
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,3 @. Y! x$ H$ |# p8 `( i
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
: w8 C( b. A& a3 C. }9 ]$ N" m Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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! W( X: Q9 }% Z/ s) s* z8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all K* W% y" Q. l: M: q+ ~
the same road.
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! s$ k8 q5 P3 r8 j7 c; w' h6 c9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# G9 n! K4 s: M; z; q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, Z- V6 z) O- }/ y g! q' M
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" o8 y0 r0 _: R3 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 D- s* i# _1 ?9 X' W0 k
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
" W; ], ^: w- H& L; A/ Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
w. r7 S( @# Iblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) A8 Y+ E$ h0 B6 k' U) v/ q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
