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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA+ \! I6 r. v9 K4 h3 ?
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/ K* \' O8 @+ A! Q 1. Bring your own house.
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: d! F& }' k$ w 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ o! O7 Z4 `6 o t8 N" m9 W$ E
capital of Canada .( ?7 x9 M% b- \0 Z6 C+ ?
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; C! Y' h+ L0 p7 C* u. q+ W- {$ ]5 P( Bcapital of Canada .% \) N7 O$ V$ q" R' X4 e/ z: _ e/ x! c
; o0 t) u+ p* z* ^6 ] 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
; J: }. Q* S1 B0 m2 y( F6 o2 ^$8.00/hour.
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& M& B/ H! c; J7 V7 j8 J: k" p 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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. \, ^& |( H0 P% |8 I' ^' G 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# ?8 P- d9 _0 w- R) I4 aon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 c, E3 O: L( t- O* P" pprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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2 V( B0 ]& ]" n% Y- o10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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( t% R5 Y0 E9 b. K f- M11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. O" O+ s0 o, a+ m3 r4 R8 d2 _
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' |% Q% _( k; r THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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: w0 R D) p* i% ^1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 }1 u8 Q1 _( r0 ^+ I* L, p, [* l
( l; H/ H+ E; z2 H" n' d2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
. b) n4 ?) ^5 Zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.* J5 J% X# t5 P
- K1 R1 ]/ M! P5 s$ D, |3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 U9 X! \; s( L% |$ }
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ n* `9 M9 v4 `muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
" q: D* m8 K9 T0 r" v8 s6 F& Z( dgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) n1 V2 y5 @3 o) Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 S8 H8 Y+ x: r! M3 fcussed out, and possibly shot. {' ] r) q. _: h' ~* a9 o
8 t; m$ m* ]* }2 q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
) B* ]- C5 K" C4 t# r+ hcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 ], y+ C/ G: {' r( y" b
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, ]3 a1 o1 Z/ G$ A+ xday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ y2 \8 B% N4 q( ~9 r0 fmore construction starts everyday.
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+ Y- k9 u( Q/ M+ ?: h3 o L: J 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: E. F6 c% z7 ], J$ ^5 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 p+ @$ f/ Y; b E6 m4 r. ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 f1 s6 |4 s2 M! r
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 i2 c% A T! b9 l' N1 j- c$ L: ^
the same road." e" F: q. E( J( N0 @0 F
( J3 I* X" l P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ z7 f2 L5 D1 m9 l# ?7 y& d* m+ n7 d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 ^* M# u1 Z) G9 H+ `9 ?: @7 n3 n
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) H; c6 Z5 [% T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 M6 {2 |6 b6 V3 G/ W& q" Y/ C- N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- ^( }- S) p8 f# o
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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8 ^; z/ l j8 X1 v; r+ [11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
* E" N8 K& k. v& ]- j- Y; vlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
5 J& f" ]0 e( q0 N+ s8 }blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) R/ x; ^5 M% F. E
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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