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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA4 s* w2 M4 s8 z6 F
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- i) M: I) b4 q/ J% |! |6 z 1. Bring your own house., V& h9 z! a& w: ]! N; P
l7 y3 @" e8 k/ A8 v' N! d9 K 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and) c3 ?& j C ~0 C& W- ~
hospital.: m" w1 j5 e+ ^9 J% @2 f
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 p+ ? w) z8 M# c9 Q9 Tcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .- U B4 R5 r. B
: |5 j( F$ |9 I" a3 z 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 v/ M% D# u" e' z% _; a. k6 W c
capital of Canada .' y% S* _! L; Y# v
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! D! a0 T& t$ z$ Z3 H+ N6 {$8.00/hour.0 M A& Z; j$ L) h' F; U4 Z4 O
S# v" B( e# p8 H3 r5 p V 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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1 ^& {5 l* W8 G+ e: r1 `, X- C. o 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: N; N9 h; X" {; f' W. Yon a 15 year holiday ?
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' X, N/ ?$ q" O" _ 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; B6 z0 _9 E' L7 X" r, Eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 f5 V8 r0 d: |& X+ d, a; e4 r
% U5 U; G9 f0 g5 G5 m* Z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
7 M6 y. p# o6 L5 Qhere sick.
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4 O0 L7 A* v1 o' v; Z T11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& g; A9 N; A" W1 y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :$ n9 Z& A, Z( s8 y+ [# G
' D0 ]6 i5 R& b& [: X# K9 I+ v1 H: R1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour! H; f: @( w' w# p5 y* A
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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, ^+ H+ [& o' l M8 i' R3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 E. q$ a' `2 H( F- l7 `
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest" V7 `" S8 x* k
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# }; w# v \) Q" Ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 @# O% S* i; ]& O
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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! W9 R, V/ Z$ o4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, y! J: f3 z' p' P3 t& ^, b
cussed out, and possibly shot., @8 M* V5 ]) C! O6 Z% m* Q x8 h1 g
! |% Y \) G" S+ z5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) G0 U& A; ~; ~) n8 k; a/ {
can get you shot.
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* \" {; [) x- x0 c# V9 K6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! y# r! x+ V; p! Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 _( s! I3 ?9 c: ^# kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& G1 X2 g5 H1 C% }/ `. @more construction starts everyday.5 i: l5 X9 Y# x3 \, z8 p
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, g/ x. ~5 N2 ]; B- O$ {
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) `% M4 U) ?6 R, E7 F, {squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 V- c. I' m6 B6 m( M
the same road.
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# ^/ I! c) S8 o! I7 \4 P9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the1 z' D$ b8 T( e W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally0 A! w9 ?0 j' \1 ^* I \* {8 L
activated."9 a: E: t0 a0 W+ Q N) C+ b' V
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur/ ~- x* I& ?, Z6 W- [2 w7 O& {+ q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and. y% g/ _( w- ~/ H0 _1 }( J
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; m3 J% O2 y, rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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