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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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# G! ~) {* c* E$ Q/ M3 B1 M1 s8 O, i 1. Bring your own house.
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3 D k% Q; s; e. b- w' ~1 n 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! ~. g. D' @% F" B4 O
hospital.
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! Y6 y; q; ]' r3 v; h2 \: J- } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ L9 `0 H2 [0 \) |capital of Canada .' P S8 M. V/ c5 c
7 R" m- k4 V5 J# Z 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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" G; m' c& T3 v, `- V9 | 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
u# t4 q; ^( i Dcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$ e, a( T; O+ w" o2 F, f! i6 z: j$8.00/hour.7 j, w( n3 z/ x& ]" X8 [
. i3 w3 L3 B/ u 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money# `- Y( e6 h4 U1 U" Q# u7 f8 w7 H
on a 15 year holiday ?8 s. R; C' O; |! Y! d
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 f$ _6 f3 Y2 G' F% ? k( t1 w
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), O8 O0 l. [& o l- k* J& f2 d
% ?. `' G* y" o8 z+ F10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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* G3 Y& v% h% M+ O11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
, \0 F' Y7 S9 l: G) Uyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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2 P& e# `* g7 h THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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8 }- h8 ]9 @$ t! B+ Z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour4 I7 K) w3 ^, y8 I
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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# o! j: X" f; O5 ^" `( T* X7 m3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) T" P# U e% m
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest; K# n3 m- U- l: T3 [3 q. n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires2 G) c# ~7 |9 O. V# S* k
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 W5 g4 a) ?9 P, s2 ]* Z! G- ~% W# N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 ^ v# p3 R1 W6 x5 E
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
6 M6 s3 \+ m: ^* X+ Qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that7 n2 k' O. f% D& T% `
can get you shot.
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. z4 b) A4 i+ h6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. L1 {( T- B; s; Kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# H P( J1 Q* B9 {day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 d# t; s% `7 ` E+ F% z4 I7 Y9 P' lmore construction starts everyday.
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! D) X3 C% _+ x. C$ a, z 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 R: M) c4 u5 M% R1 ]1 }# w) Pdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" w2 b/ ?& ^; ^8 \( Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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( z: [( B6 C/ W5 C5 |8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all) O8 J( A$ w8 m# Z3 @9 k
the same road.# Y6 K# |& {% Y. L$ W9 u6 H
/ C, u1 K& D# K+ P& ^9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ s2 K( u! j( C/ ?, ]: g+ M* xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally! C2 P% H) V! f H
activated."
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5 `( g0 h# ]* v) F; b$ f: ?10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! p' j; z0 a6 G
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off". c( K9 m6 D' i+ a
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 D& q) T/ C* |7 p2 D8 [: z11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( h' Y) p1 F8 R& `9 i! @& o, glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" R$ M+ v0 A( C
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is( L/ E" _$ @" `4 l& j
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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