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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA, A4 L, u$ M* E0 [2 a
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& f. @6 j. v. |! Z  ]' f; o 1. Bring your own house.& H" U1 m! O: \  v( s# ]

( u" m% b' }. @3 }5 f. C. P0 v' X 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' _6 R5 I" o( k' V
hospital.; ^1 i* ~! \, d5 g, j" o9 K. X
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 x  i, g: a# Y: T  `
capital of Canada ." S: f8 I7 |8 G

: E7 ^; X5 y5 f, B& l9 N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .! x! [7 B/ l* U( t

8 D# s6 ^: ?1 A  s' s" b# P# y 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
  a$ T! ~( o0 B8 B7 w# p- fcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" G. K7 }( [% B
$8.00/hour.+ A5 B% {! x$ ^9 i3 T, H; d
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 X4 V( C2 a4 y  N
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
" }" ?: q9 f' P/ S4 Non a 15 year holiday ?% a6 k' d( E- _# _

' ]; I& [8 a' J  a( Z5 T& A# k 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
1 }+ l4 M4 Q5 e& Zprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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, s! j4 G* E! ^" l& i10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
2 {$ U7 ~4 d" shere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ K/ j) W5 P. Y; \
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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; |" v/ n, j9 q) D THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 \+ H  p6 s0 q, p
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. Z& ~) Y: V$ c8 j  ^
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ ]/ e, l+ s2 H) g
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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6 N" ^/ D& K/ ]6 C' O. A3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 X# H$ N' I9 c2 D0 R2 w0 Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 X/ m, ?3 R( `+ f
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; P4 ~1 h2 U0 t3 Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 {7 d( V+ i& X, w' _2 Mphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 B2 S7 R; i* Q1 `, }, p

& V) L" y8 H4 j- r1 D9 Z4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 ?! w; s# ]! r. B' V6 S
cussed out, and possibly shot.% c# h+ f# g* E5 d9 T2 G. p+ J

) M2 l* p) ]# M8 d+ u2 Z5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ b. {* V% `0 P+ A+ M1 i
can get you shot.
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: M9 R. K& |! L3 b9 B6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" s2 O2 r* \2 B7 \: r* N6 `1 D3 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! h( f. V  |- t$ h1 E5 Q: }3 k3 `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and8 B% J! @6 @5 I3 _1 T$ n
more construction starts everyday.: H* i: i: ^; t& k& P
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: w! |( I$ `2 w4 ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; ^  }3 r+ b! a- x- L/ o% [5 ~7 W" a
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 m0 B6 d! h8 ]
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& o9 A, O8 z0 @0 }9 h0 O% Sthe same road., _7 h$ }6 a2 A3 V6 L3 O4 T
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
; J8 ~; v4 ~$ f* Nshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' H6 I+ Z/ y8 Z3 T3 D# q6 ]3 Y
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 r6 X+ B! y# |$ U& u/ fzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, [( E. Y+ C) r4 Q; naccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 v! k2 F, ~: V0 l11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur8 J3 p1 c2 e/ }- Q& ?) d6 j/ m% q- d0 I
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- k9 {2 y! i7 i' \; Q+ vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 A2 E+ E7 t3 M5 ~9 L( S7 O, lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
2 ?! S: s& I8 q& p3 h( e0 x7 m9 I# B满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
; b: I( r2 G! v6 d" v有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 7 W# {+ _+ {; I: |6 g2 v7 O! O
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。1 ^. k5 ~. X6 a6 x$ S
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。- h! }; l, _# x% W) g# y  A
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 4 o# o9 l8 V, o3 }" ^4 y9 n
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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/ T" l3 a8 F  G4 E- y这么刺痛你了吗?- Q: i* F9 K/ P$ ?1 N' p

/ U8 L2 L/ \2 p$ f  x我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
% S: S) X+ B/ M- p0 F( C7 T朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
3 O! L# F+ y6 ?' F+ v; a  T满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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) I- H7 N$ Q3 M1 M2 F! {: S/ o你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。+ `1 ^" y# ~/ z8 U

5 m" b' x& g7 i; ?* s: B再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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