送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA


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1. Bring your own house.

2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.

! d# }! {; D. x  u! w% x3 V 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 i1 p8 Z& B& M& m( R- R  @capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

/ g3 a0 W" |8 D3 k% S/ { 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
( }% R& l- m3 p- j7 Z$ J0 o- z& w5 s. i$ ]capital of Canada .

" m! B* z: d/ D 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

5 R+ H% b  |  O: Q7 U8 g 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& b* f% A7 f% ]5 {6 f# C! i' Eon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' h. X! R5 n3 e' c  cprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
( ]$ n2 {8 o7 a6 A. q" F. P. |here sick.

. B7 V  \5 ^- q+ O8 Z11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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" N2 w: g9 p; |5 t- s8 m0 o) y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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$ d( q* _0 ~7 T; A+ G' p# {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: c9 e% B7 z" v" U7 l9 k. A  Uis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
4 p7 z# D- X6 {7 H, f' xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 a4 a5 V9 D9 R9 mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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# \7 p1 Y8 r: `) {5 Y. e5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 d8 p, q: `; I- S2 Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ O5 @2 `8 D; o1 vmore construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( k9 M% B% [7 ^3 m4 }3 G& M9 h& _deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, D! ]' B" Z. R) z2 c0 g3 n. P6 Fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
$ [2 x; X1 x: z1 d  U7 ~activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
1 Y9 C; Q* D! @& G, K' [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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" H! D/ Q( D9 U, a  t% p11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
  C) X; q! n! K, Z, z  V9 |lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
7 H: q. @# x% j! F0 Zvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
8 V% O8 Q, j. q. T( u满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
) i5 ]$ G) J! t1 J  O& z有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' M+ X% {  J) y满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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/ @3 ]2 S% ^- K: j% o( ~ 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
0 ]. Y, }8 f( d9 T6 Q$ ^朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
9 Y3 ?4 l+ U8 m8 ?& C# r满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.