送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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9 y2 q$ a  i% L8 M: r* r# c2 X4 M  N 1. Bring your own house.
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. e* B/ r2 \$ h 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
% M& q) ?0 M' A& c" a) ~3 Bhospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
: w8 v3 ~( @% m/ F0 h9 Xcapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

$ ?# m2 x* x0 u, Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
8 q: n8 L4 o. N4 dcapital of Canada .
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: U0 U, l8 R7 x4 S 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

4 b2 W! }3 O# t- p2 Z6 G$ P, D0 z 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

4 }$ n+ F7 _  t9 P7 r7 A) H 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
3 o5 ~; k8 T9 \/ J) W% E+ c' Uon a 15 year holiday ?
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5 ?$ }! {$ d3 |+ i9 r  T 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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( {% M0 V/ n1 r) h& m% { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) o/ L+ ~5 c. S! ]- eis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& S4 A) _& p$ y; p2 d8 |0 T6 Xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 s9 A- e- J/ p4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

: f  B, b: A) [  b( S% u6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. `# G* Z; |% V( b7 ~barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 J& B- x) P; T* sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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2 r: x) D. L0 @8 o+ D; c  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
( Z, Y2 _5 V, `- y2 ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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! D( f+ c# l# E7 z8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.
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+ o/ P1 b" _0 }( B4 Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
5 B8 x1 b8 {+ \, r1 wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

1 k& ]/ n$ y/ d0 M$ D' K11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# t/ t2 M8 b% C* b; ]blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* r. e0 a( g& ]% k  `5 _/ ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) |$ h8 V* p5 Z满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
3 l+ q# {% ^( q( \有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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+ r& X( G  @: }* R- U此地钱多, 人傻, 速来

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* B" Q9 o  G: C2 g1 q; P$ P9 l. M. h[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. M7 i1 |) x+ V满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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5 l( y* A2 ]# s1 ~, [/ y9 C8 _这么刺痛你了吗？

6 i1 U% b. p$ N4 Y2 q我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
6 P" z; ]+ h3 h2 Z/ q/ N朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
% C) R8 Y' }$ V* D! @+ U/ m满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.