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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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* K8 n P% ~9 L) a ~5 A 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- h( C* L- l6 i# `+ b# } u1 \
hospital.+ k8 a5 V" p1 T
1 D- y. u9 u- x0 n) h2 A 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ H- ?$ ]% q6 u% l0 O7 X' l
capital of Canada .2 x/ H `) d" [( q8 ?8 A. H
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug4 \* b# T5 Q: m
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, B- l& |, E9 i0 H6 k) P: ^, _) M
$8.00/hour.* F/ s( T5 `8 Z% c' q- m
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.7 _5 I, _5 I# ~& B2 M @! K
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ g7 g- C* I0 x
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
' t) p3 G& N3 ] v3 A( Y \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come9 P' u' H8 b, r3 U
here sick.2 H, x" a4 t8 O- s4 e
5 m. [0 t( p5 y! i2 F7 X7 u11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12& ]% w$ A0 {' h0 t1 Z3 X
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :& c4 }% N/ @1 m5 ]2 V% V2 r6 U9 _. ]
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour- Q7 @7 @/ {" X7 ]. t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 a1 Z) ]( Z& fown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ E: L1 }) p4 k9 L/ Y' Rmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 U h' q% x8 m" S* B# c3 e
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell; P3 E! X% v$ b$ y) K/ ], N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 }2 q8 z% ~# A) v! |
& {( v" t, R- H) a" o5 s4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour5 Y$ C; N, l' s. i
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 j% g; `8 ]8 ?: b2 `5 o
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ ?, N2 @* D8 F; l! E7 c) Kmore construction starts everyday." ^3 C7 h: _6 U) O7 P
# b+ i; Q3 k4 @( P3 @. R 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 F$ k3 X+ z4 V4 V( ~8 C
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 @6 ?/ r, G! N, jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. t) o/ f, g" E9 ]
the same road.9 Z( M @3 y2 U. M% d/ I ?
l1 V7 F2 n e: ], `9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( O" _/ B4 u8 [/ \- i
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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8 O6 d; H9 K- B- i- t10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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1 u- z Y4 {+ z `11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 G I1 w- `+ V3 P5 D* olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
