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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 g4 d# e" m% U; N$ H5 v# f* o
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1. Bring your own house.' h' G. G! H8 [" Z
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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2 @- h2 w8 R4 F: v( v) j# \ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
X6 }1 [4 @ h4 I, T- d* b) s5 ecapital of Canada .* f! z; D# f ]+ t" h/ O
- Q3 }0 n+ u7 d! G) z/ k 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .0 v% x. }6 i. ?( l! L
# A3 t" m8 l) ^( x6 @3 O _ 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
2 s$ P+ \& J( Y6 p) |capital of Canada .
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5 H1 G' ]& v( I! }7 f/ Q 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
' _4 G$ x2 c- H' j% T$8.00/hour.2 Z" ?9 ?( |9 W1 @( c- t0 E
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour./ r9 B* j+ X1 S k5 p6 b
7 ^6 |2 v, S8 O' Q( m5 ~5 w" ~ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 |5 _# K @9 s0 n% | U8 N0 S: F7 eon a 15 year holiday ?! j" } |* f6 r7 ^, X+ U
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& Q' \; p0 C( H8 b# Pprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% c# M9 [- l$ T; h
& c9 ^6 a; Z+ K. m10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, F, B3 B) j9 z5 W) mhere sick.8 k/ g* Y/ v: n- H0 f- W1 k; I
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
) B0 Y2 B! U& c; k, Dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.2 T5 K: k' t- R }6 k4 G9 k x8 ~
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1 @" B6 I2 C7 f% C+ O8 l8 Z/ S" Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".# N Z: l" i7 C" v) C+ G2 _9 E7 |
$ I0 T0 z( E, V2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour2 ]; o& e4 u" e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) I1 @6 N- G1 v+ c! w
- w; R& p' i3 W( w4 m# D3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, b# u M9 \% yown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 N/ s* w* ]4 R+ S5 K/ r' h# A& Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 x6 I7 D! |8 n" d: ]& zgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ ~7 z6 M! w6 D9 |! R Z( v6 Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# O3 y5 i5 P" F Y0 b, Rcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 ]9 N! [/ d D! e# c# D; u- h
can get you shot.
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$ x' c0 ~" ~$ h* I6 K* Y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ [& W7 F/ U% W ~- O+ ~
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next }% t# y: H1 {% p0 V; s" Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 x6 E) a- z; ~# H( j! b8 mmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 X' h. W/ P: ?+ Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* [- L5 ?4 P8 Fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 t9 ]) R$ i; n% R8 k" F' M; W4 Z
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# h' G5 t+ P; N; \% c. ]/ x" N' Ethe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the `1 v# y5 H/ |# @) l7 r/ R8 d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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) A/ g, w$ V- s1 O+ ^% u10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
9 s" a, ]& W6 G, h b( Pzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' F4 Z" L1 m: {& g5 A1 ?3 zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 p# h$ u2 G; O# U; w! b3 I/ M8 R
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ ]" k2 k9 n2 _& Blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 z, n1 |% p9 |5 X+ c& _8 yblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is8 d. V% h5 f/ ]
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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