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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 E: o" J- d3 ]% v
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1. Bring your own house.
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9 d$ C& N: B" ^$ D1 Q% m 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
6 [/ ~* }3 i( Khospital.
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2 A1 T: b) Y1 [, i" w 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
" z+ j3 I2 K6 n' r- E) ^capital of Canada .' _4 k% \5 X: a; ?2 L
' q# n# T" P) ]: @7 q 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug8 b g H! z+ b+ ~1 ~0 g7 }
capital of Canada .% s( t( z# a1 `, z/ g* R/ K& w
- ^5 V/ @, Y& I2 c* u8 ~- @ 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 g9 `! ? X6 ]9 w8 g0 J$8.00/hour.$ `( V; m; K" m$ A) Y
' j( B4 u' w4 ~) f) d! q% m 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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' v( f- j1 M! `# x4 U% m 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% Y) A. p7 c8 O j2 @
on a 15 year holiday ?) a+ j& a" F9 X' q8 A4 m i
/ ~5 `$ M/ w3 S9 w, v! O6 I) `' P 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 [+ n3 J6 k, G9 W2 r6 x% R: t
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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3 _9 y: A7 R/ c& S. G10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% ?7 D3 f0 `8 m
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 129 a3 ~* \! `, ?+ r
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" W( d/ I" q/ x- x THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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- y/ V' [8 i9 D- D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 t8 h. Q$ u1 C8 N
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 @2 h$ k: W0 K: M/ t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' M* t* M, s/ p6 ^) x: D0 s( e
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
: |; o7 ]" `5 F( P! [8 `5 ?own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ O* l# `" ~5 D& P$ ^
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" z3 J- |' @& K+ L6 `
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell* G& t- W9 c6 T; j) v
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 ^& f7 a" e2 }& r; e9 ]5 k9 Ycussed out, and possibly shot.. X4 q' f% d$ V
4 }- ?. |! [9 F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 @% Y# T8 h* W6 ?' Z5 Y( d, Q8 \
can get you shot.
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( P. ]$ c% h; ^6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. X8 T: X9 T3 M
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( J d& v6 i- nday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
* d& L( X' D2 d0 Z5 s3 K+ l( V! Ymore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
$ N0 b; W# S/ s+ s8 ]7 wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 [+ _3 R$ J. @0 E- }: n- Isquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
- ?& C' @8 M5 h0 Ethe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! O; X4 f6 b3 S8 B! g) A
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km# Y. C" O& a; ]5 I* ?
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 R `# G% g0 ^ `0 d7 G! d9 x
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" A4 x# J8 S' }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and3 h/ T- A8 L% r
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
5 m3 @4 Y' V" w" W9 L8 q5 U0 lvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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