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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA5 y, b! j" r. ~9 u* v
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7 o/ f) _7 a( A' A( r3 Q 1. Bring your own house.
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0 O9 g$ l0 o/ w3 t/ f* i$ u3 i# b 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and: T6 t0 I, a: Z5 [7 t
hospital.3 e1 L, n7 }' M

3 b0 j0 ~% h. Z/ W7 A/ Q! `, ^* | 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
& U9 U! e& Q/ J. _capital of Canada .( I, h3 |/ M* }6 w$ @

6 u7 a1 w+ v1 O 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ., ^1 k' H2 g' n4 }7 ^3 n9 }% _  k) c

# q. p( E+ D, U  p, [* U 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug' L0 @8 X9 v, a3 k2 }
capital of Canada .1 I9 V, _6 f7 u' t

8 Y7 b2 I7 G$ Z. p9 j0 o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% W) |- z4 g/ ~. }# _5 [
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money  P( s$ G8 b* M9 G! n9 ~' r" `/ x
on a 15 year holiday ?
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' p! X0 U1 {1 M( V( ^7 i# r 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) u2 D# O# z( Q7 c6 a5 |
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come3 D# h* x+ V0 U  U/ C- Z! J
here sick.! J- ]- p0 m5 k4 L/ |! I
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12; f' _. L4 z" `, W& j# ~0 B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.- B+ V6 J0 D2 A9 M' @0 `
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 q' f% t0 \& D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
- G9 M, f  O+ ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ ?  B$ T+ n  {3 v( R( b% S8 U

' ^, F/ e4 d8 X  U/ p( S3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. B3 w. d) P/ `/ O9 O* G4 Y# e- O
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# n+ |9 i7 z/ p; k5 ?muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires6 M* z) g2 |1 c: w' j! ]* @% @
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" E9 d+ S5 b* A5 v* N
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, X; `3 n2 d( _( C! @, z: Rcussed out, and possibly shot.: n) {0 F; l9 Q! e
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
% R, x( U% u% E, n  d* T0 ecan get you shot.
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% [4 A" k) M6 l* M% V, \% G6 E- J+ z5 Z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) A" ?, J% e/ E+ t$ J6 v* Nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# w6 w% S( A% b! q% Lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- b# r, R  U% F+ C6 G; |0 L4 K8 S
more construction starts everyday.4 g5 `7 G4 V& |* @( O6 K* j5 N
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 e- j# M; S* ]
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% x1 U5 X" G/ E  p8 ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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7 W8 Q# h% p2 ]  t8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
# O6 W1 ^0 C& Q2 vthe same road.
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; o& q6 P8 v" k# i# o9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% |) \: C% G  }2 |shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
6 E/ \' X, F" f+ |- s8 a# Eactivated."
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2 Y* v. _7 g! R10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 N5 S4 K( O! Q" T! b) u0 X3 `1 z+ l3 Jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* b% A8 d  B0 Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 `9 d' e7 a$ o$ r" L9 I! j' [( K( E
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, n  T9 `# k; }' [( a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 R- I+ K. [+ K4 K2 v2 Nblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
( v7 @8 j* e+ z( I. N- T; k( gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。4 ~  C8 m# S( P* f9 S; e
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
  j, \% i* [  h" N+ \. [2 r有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : ) n6 t! [" F. Y$ a
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 , M# e# t& u( f- d' _

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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 4 K( e8 e+ D! L/ L* s
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。+ M  y% i& r5 Q: e' D. u
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。! I/ b( D& N5 r! J) Q3 H5 Q
...

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 5 I4 ]9 z3 d/ n4 r
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4 ~) E. B! O+ Z/ b& B, g3 j 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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: _% j$ n4 q+ N5 G. T# M这么刺痛你了吗?, ?/ }+ x- Y% T' F* g" ?# p& f7 d* H

; ]8 R5 o8 J- s* [* J$ r% C. @我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 . t; U7 R6 X6 U2 z; m+ b
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。) ^, ?0 f) @1 x1 G) S: L
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
大型搬家
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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