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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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# @1 q% [- `% U, d' h( O 1. Bring your own house.6 H, V- w$ V9 J: d D
3 C4 h& L: a. B 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and' i+ N3 z' o8 ]) q* d% z$ m
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; e; r2 x! K0 \. p
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
+ {" [5 B" b l2 q' O: ycapital of Canada .
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% Z3 Q, n2 \7 f4 K$ X$ w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 J9 \7 p6 o6 v, I3 r' l0 T7 t$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.; |& z! T0 j( l
( t9 b: F; \8 b! L1 |: X) Q2 R 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
8 T0 p4 i& a" ?7 N" Xon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, ^# _. [3 s6 p3 r; ]7 W
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)% a9 M2 M7 C1 A# z8 J; i" Q& q
) E+ j% F; Y9 w10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
3 ^' y. l4 {' t/ ^* v" J9 V9 ^* zhere sick.) `9 p2 @/ v: |0 J ^
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
9 O3 \* o. {% V `- Ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.# N5 t. U$ C9 ]. q! u# r
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 J$ [- G c6 A2 b) ~9 ~( |
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 q% `5 @7 b' n! m) \- k! s
; V2 |6 f5 _+ v$ P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. B/ ^. G j& p1 _1 B5 N R3 @
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ {; L6 o: r% z
8 E& C" \! {6 E+ T1 B/ E3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( N* s& I$ H. a' W9 U# x& `$ x
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 Y5 ~! p, L/ Omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- X0 v2 O7 f9 x" Z( L, j4 D \' _go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% Q2 ^( N3 ?9 Y$ X* rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 Q4 k& U9 m/ n/ ^" v }8 Y
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 E' c* g: g0 |% S( S
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that8 v3 x R/ I3 h8 T( G
can get you shot.8 g2 a3 T1 Z* }9 f0 @, \+ {
; b! }$ Z4 r6 S( T/ d: V7 O& t. \6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour! ~* n& u. m5 s, u; J
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 u) B( P4 j) Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 `" w: \' R* U( g: Qmore construction starts everyday.
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5 S R/ a7 |& U2 F. X) l/ w+ Y 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,. p! H8 q; S4 @2 G% S
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) S+ q. ^" j* jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 h4 N0 C* S- H
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 @3 W9 u) v v2 A# @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally, E* V0 g) h& {; [6 X) m( s
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km3 w, n- t- b% T/ c H( a3 P
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"7 f$ }8 I6 _7 ?4 e s2 l. u) U
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. s- U1 a+ b, Z% ^, t
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
& c, o' _) L% }# v, |) }0 olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, n! F0 ?7 {8 ] |8 k' t) o3 H
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' P1 a2 q B6 |+ M
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
