 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
0 Y* |/ \! Z! J2 C0 S x {
; |6 B9 A) g; Y6 i: h( g; g8 @; x1 o- f6 D
, j8 h' ~ ^+ l- @ r 1. Bring your own house.
# }2 B2 p, L& C2 e
7 g+ Z. N k- l6 s* J. v1 M 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
! c+ d( f9 \/ d' \$ l) ?; T. ^+ Whospital.$ Q& e6 u$ G; O1 o2 [! f
: T7 O. ?. y# ~0 m& _ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% J# B7 b, `- X3 ^7 _9 ?
capital of Canada .
/ i2 x! \7 W* G# u6 O8 [) B+ p# [9 d( z$ q+ K
4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
* ^2 w: b: C% z6 O2 ?0 y8 M7 R) E: V U: x/ |5 w
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug# T% C, ^2 m! F! h
capital of Canada .7 _- C) z' a, M
6 G+ d0 b1 P, `4 j+ t& J
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) r( s# K& k& G$8.00/hour.9 L" `. ^$ s% n/ X
. ^/ ?9 B: n9 Q+ i! t- o& a# f
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
/ P& h5 k9 [& G1 t- [+ j' Q
L8 |6 ]9 F/ j2 c 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
2 B; u! z& U. L$ f, Ton a 15 year holiday ?
' K0 d/ B7 P+ k9 C& ^' E# l
9 f3 T& r1 X) G/ r$ t2 z. w5 U 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! |& S6 O( R( o* Y3 C( B" Z* u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage), L, V% u" B( \6 c; w. ~0 l
% O' Z& [9 I, F. H S. s5 |: T/ H10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, o% P7 p7 V) n: X4 f7 q% Ihere sick." V/ u9 y0 ~6 x# {
7 M7 C4 m/ k3 J; B+ L# _0 O n1 P
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 {* Q- ]5 _& r6 ^- e tyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
* a+ K" b5 M# z! ~* a0 ~2 S. n9 @- w: S! a8 k$ |
2 E3 ?7 b! h( t) \
; O) ~/ e$ f: B' G# y) I4 a
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
2 `: z9 a- R, m$ B' r7 V, Q
: R3 H6 `. l B* b- W1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
/ y F% I, v' ~! _9 M9 R/ } P
+ @/ v' b4 @6 }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ A$ o$ }2 i6 I3 {' d/ x& C! v$ E$ _
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: m9 O: g4 f+ i4 g
4 Q x0 F! n' ?( ^; w. A
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* i$ ], u. P% l5 \8 K0 mown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! F! ]0 j5 {5 k/ e5 J0 ~& ]& Q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" ]+ f) l6 U3 o# I% E6 A) {; Z
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( s* \# X) \# y( |& f$ d
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ U8 X9 V9 [. O! ^0 |* Z8 i
M; Q& A* f w+ u; X. S* m
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! b- d. f* L+ z: }7 X% T) wcussed out, and possibly shot.7 ]/ Q$ ]9 X9 n* J
7 U6 Q; I1 e, p" m; \+ ~
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that' O2 w) y/ y! K5 {
can get you shot.
# ]; s2 I" m6 H) f3 ~, Q6 O3 T! F% Z
; l( D+ H4 _# I6 m. }0 b* G6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 W6 u1 b# I, g6 W7 L4 E. mbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
4 m9 n& b" I r% g, U! y) I$ {0 O4 fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& }) w6 s O- |% f. V" s; Ymore construction starts everyday.
) O3 w- r ]7 E9 l! w0 _
9 z# s' `- s/ Q0 M 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
# J S0 y9 Q6 G, T" c! M, odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# k9 x' L* w2 ~# e1 Zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., [4 l3 R2 A( [ `
4 \1 R7 n( C( J8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
" ^, w4 O/ q* {) L# R; b/ p6 e9 ^the same road.7 n' I& B+ m" t) o; i8 Q/ Y7 G, e, `
) w) h7 ~/ n2 e* m8 V+ I
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 f# M1 M8 u* g
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally a( M6 m, G% t( O/ v
activated."
" v6 w: l1 K; i
' D8 u G* r8 u Q1 R% {) u10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
* v" R# e# s( N# h! _9 {zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
) O6 a8 ^/ K0 e& p* m) C( ?+ }accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ A& P3 @. Y5 A, d' ^3 h7 J! Q
+ p% {# t+ w- ~( h! }2 \11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 K4 f* v% H* N! M" dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and$ K8 X7 P6 c6 J
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- u; p+ G. c' z+ Z9 f* g
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
6 c9 w& I( i. \5 I. N9 a' C/ N' V
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
3 m2 q! c; ~9 ^
