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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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: O2 D! L) i1 J  B  J 1. Bring your own house.. b4 W% U6 c" S# B

2 ?( [9 [* K: [, |; l- V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 }# @' R& E) H' {+ ?/ e  \" |, mhospital.0 t2 m1 c; h# j; u' e- |& Q

4 R  U9 F9 `& @7 i8 x$ B 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 y. ?0 z- _( \! Acapital of Canada .; M7 h. A/ c& R7 c% q
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
. \% M: Q8 H( S4 E& i- c2 Ccapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 ~4 j# u: U2 y* d0 w+ K8 L
$8.00/hour.& B. L% Q( p4 }5 D: P4 p
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.% c( s1 S1 A5 n/ e; W' d, h' R
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# Y9 K0 i8 M) W) kon a 15 year holiday ?0 [0 E. O6 n* `7 |

6 Q; _# M0 q6 ^( ^2 k. ]8 f 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
& w- ]  f/ r5 x, K- S+ Z$ q2 u. ^prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)( u' u8 |$ E& H3 Z! _: Y% k8 n
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; R& o5 M1 V8 r7 d9 p8 _here sick.
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9 v' B# G- E+ g8 z" M* }# j9 b11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 l; Z& _) T9 B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.+ i9 N# ~2 j! r, Z) C( b  y

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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% b( S; B1 \: w$ h2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour. u5 H# M) J, @4 y
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: B* ?2 D8 D% ~: I1 O2 N

6 I, [4 Y1 l& ?3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# o* a6 I2 Q9 y7 y% r
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& N4 I/ i9 o" t4 N
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 }/ v- H$ Y7 G) B! {# vgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
# x8 y8 }1 ^9 C# D( v8 bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 [8 ]* p8 {5 J) j6 J
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ K0 C/ H6 o, t! i$ E
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, N0 `$ ^) \" \8 T3 Ccan get you shot.3 A  m- x$ P% U% J! g

5 o" B) h  m. m! b; c5 t6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ I0 P" c. y" E) x2 E2 Ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next0 s! ^1 M: S1 T" ~* ]: o
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" {8 q, q; W) \( \7 m* Z8 O0 S  Hmore construction starts everyday.3 I3 q# W7 j6 ]- h6 T

! Q3 a& A6 D+ r/ f" i  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
% ^, J5 r: f: R/ wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, @' w# N: U$ q4 J2 X
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
$ B/ c0 K, T  y! ?" U& Nthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' ?1 |  p+ A/ N( i/ g, N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally9 b- K2 Q" S! g) ^
activated."
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! ]. n, ~2 w- r8 b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" E* f* r2 Z! U+ L0 U: T
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
; m4 F" w) H) z3 y% D; |4 U; t: uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! i; J' H) \# V% k# |! a/ V& m

: T; ~2 Z1 R* y. s11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 r, R5 P' [$ S9 J; J: n
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
  X5 V0 _  b* B2 w+ vblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' [# L$ T4 f  I2 ?+ y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层

$ j; o% D2 D3 P# W1 C有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。5 r4 u, @: O8 g6 o0 |
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
9 V! T- m5 I' T# S3 `* m0 F8 E4 z有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 : # K" `- k* K5 W# U" A$ r

" Q/ }5 f1 \2 @$ B2 ]/ M6 V此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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( k4 m) o8 p" y' e3 g7 o[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
, o4 p8 W4 i; }; s朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。; ~6 O0 y1 C  P& t: r4 d* ]
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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8 ?9 b/ q9 k. A0 a0 |9 ]4 B; w 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 3 G0 `% M0 J% z, L  ?

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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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& ]6 \" k( y6 {1 K9 r; b2 D这么刺痛你了吗?
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/ j" `: c5 x7 y% ]( d/ u6 Z我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
) l+ k% N& p3 K# |, h+ i7 M朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。2 f# }1 g8 {; A/ B5 c3 w; `  z
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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+ R) A5 N! U! U7 A1 H0 @  g你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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/ a1 O+ f& J# ^) \再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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