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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. Q3 Y* i/ j: D1 k& y' _
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; \- }2 T# E- j. {& | 1. Bring your own house.5 e& R) I" \& w9 e* E5 K3 p
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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7 u O4 N* B U 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder( |$ K/ Q) @+ x/ }, o
capital of Canada .& ?# `( W2 {% |$ W' y$ Z& s! P
5 e4 g! @* |. D: c+ L# e& g 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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d& k2 x* h7 f* k' D5 r% j 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
0 }, ?# Q+ W" S" H- Q, E& V" Wcapital of Canada .
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* j) R9 w X2 @6 x ]3 f. h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
& o7 ]& E0 `. v! [+ P: `" [6 Q2 Q$8.00/hour.5 Z# z, {) j; |2 ]; a n
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 h$ l) \% s0 x1 c3 s1 M9 |
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money) N7 \0 _% e9 P$ e+ P: @& e$ H
on a 15 year holiday ?
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& v* Z$ k% K- @. g$ k 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" j0 [3 ]9 x6 E0 l5 c$ R0 xprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* v' r& V5 X4 B6 M7 T10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come c- F- ^0 k$ E
here sick.0 e. M3 T7 R n* a* \' \
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 r+ y* G+ V' P5 i8 ?
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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0 ~: A0 A: ^& }, }% d0 h: z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :/ B; {7 a+ ~8 O1 U
! |5 S" ?" S" L+ A. S( i1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ W Q3 y( h/ }* w' n5 @/ L1 k
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 \" a) a& _3 S U5 X: r, v5 u$ jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- D1 ?; z. Z) o' J# x% \# ^7 ^
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 f) \+ c% w3 J! Cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell4 i/ c- v8 Y# R( C5 [/ Z
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 W5 X5 O# g; ^. [ D* }/ u( ?
, G' a% b( u. V0 t4 T; p- p4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 w9 [8 V' q" v) c% d: e' J$ _cussed out, and possibly shot.
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" Z0 A% g2 `( U( Z( a/ F( a5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that) u- u+ |5 n: l& m+ @! B6 [
can get you shot. p% y/ b6 W* x# y; O7 g
9 |& o v* C D' ?6 n7 C6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour+ \( B# K7 T: w# n2 G- W; l; U9 Z8 Q% }
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* y8 F. {8 t5 _1 N5 P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( X) ?. ^) W! G% B. R# kmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; I7 N7 P* D6 d/ t, Y+ X
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' X1 b8 I6 l" P$ |$ ]5 _7 \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: x: _7 a( Z( Q( O8 A
0 `% p! Y/ P0 r+ s. ~- _# o8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 Q; r& N% L1 z% k" p& U8 g
the same road.
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& C6 z9 t$ T' Z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" m& I2 @) A* L7 |3 T3 z9 C: R
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally1 s) g G1 M' {2 ~$ a1 l$ P9 f4 c; H+ w' `
activated."
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$ p( p9 C' [& J10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
2 Z' s4 U$ `$ l; w; Szone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"% U6 Z. a1 Q" T
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 ?6 o: k) C; V, ~8 s) _
/ | t# L a& A8 k+ G3 a3 a11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur; I6 |1 Z, J0 F; O
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( _/ Y6 M, T- `: P
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
2 ^ y& `' @+ w6 J) Q0 j# L6 G- P$ ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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