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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 i0 z0 v( g; J- F% X 1. Bring your own house.
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1 L, E, i Y2 k3 @; T- f% S0 n8 \ 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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$ d$ D8 A0 h8 {2 W, Z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 {9 I6 c) _! o+ I7 e# D$ A
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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# Q8 @1 d. j6 h+ m 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& n) E1 X2 D8 }3 |
capital of Canada .( Q0 ~' _ Q/ w7 g! y0 l1 }) _/ q1 [: `
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 H7 M% ~4 {6 z2 g% P& D7 p: Y$8.00/hour.2 Q+ V W0 }+ [7 L# P
! s( f4 @! |! o 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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% @% n9 v G' T% s+ ] 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ |; F% ?1 N' m$ ]on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, `8 N% t3 Q: ^- Pprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)( g' g! s) x: l; Z2 f$ w
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come1 ?+ }& [/ Z) W' e
here sick.3 g4 ]) O C. m' }* h! {$ x
# `) ~# R7 I- D _7 u& j7 ~11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! t, `* a) @6 F: K" K0 jyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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3 B: h$ N" y K! U4 g* q/ x1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 C3 W, }$ y+ O9 x9 s! Y2 |
7 k. X3 T& V9 N- E! i1 r2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 A# A. v; ?1 t
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' z- T, g* f- v' P3 a
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 `# _5 E4 o$ K+ q4 l
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 U1 [7 P! q3 X) y( r4 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, K+ E! B6 L* O1 W5 m# N
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell' s0 G }- p6 p* \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 M0 X P, d4 j: e
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, K! Z/ T ^% X! T5 wcussed out, and possibly shot.. z- R# a& a# Z0 E6 l% A
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
& ^* s8 {& N6 a# w4 v' acan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 r& v6 E" z7 K* A- z) U! X: V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( m$ |3 }: y6 Z5 o8 o: F4 R
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 {. ?, z/ J/ q$ w0 pmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* ?% o+ s0 {" W8 Q+ ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 {- h& ?4 U* k3 Z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# E z9 Z3 L$ P$ l) f% E8 {& B
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 c& n' ]5 T! L6 X
the same road.2 f" @, r2 `3 L7 d) o: t
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* }8 s+ E! } V1 ?" d: s+ x5 {
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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$ a' k+ N. r, b- ]10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km' j3 {6 ^3 N& p7 Q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
, G/ } C( s) c. C% h8 laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# E5 \) c: |3 }) l7 ~9 y
- g* u3 z. o$ a) i+ T" M0 l11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 j6 Y% |, U4 m8 a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 K/ v! [4 v' T" N# S) E2 d
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
9 b3 K% k# e$ I- }9 Svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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