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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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. y2 L% f) W1 V# T 1. Bring your own house.
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6 \3 u% C/ F+ r. V 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 C2 ]3 S6 s! s. `( B$ Y2 c: v
capital of Canada .) ]# X- O* i) O: H9 B, U; G
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# S h4 I" e7 W8 W; ]. ]capital of Canada .. R5 w! ? L5 C$ ~8 p, b2 l
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 s) `, f w% ^4 O1 e4 j
$8.00/hour.; C2 K, E, G' N5 Z
( `/ ^0 L6 c) ^: l 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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3 o2 g1 W) ^; D; W' i 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. G# N/ f2 \1 {5 C; L' }
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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( e2 f( G0 p# ~- v# Z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, h0 V8 X) s* h- H! ghere sick.
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% M( C3 L9 f4 I9 [11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 J, e5 K( }2 o1 dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.$ ^: i# L9 f+ f) x
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :4 c, T" B% ^2 B E$ {: S. @, s
% M. J% y+ ^2 _ `6 f1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour k8 [1 E0 @/ O" G- h1 _
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.! U" M2 L; s1 j1 x) y x
* b: ?; m) T7 r5 ]# o3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its ^1 y/ K, S8 m: }
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 x: F) x0 L A; ~2 n# x5 ]8 ~) r8 omuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 T: K, \3 ] e/ u ~3 W5 Ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell( P; i9 l* Z# G4 J
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.4 x! p' f' B! \9 k# h- m
* F( n: J. b# `8 ]+ o( i3 E# N) s4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, f0 \+ F: r2 K$ ~" t" |. {
cussed out, and possibly shot.8 }) o" A) r, n
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 k2 ~1 k) j6 s- u8 x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- K) r6 f' A R% M
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) b5 J! T# R6 r' umore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ x; ^4 c1 L. d* y
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ X9 f$ b2 c0 dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" r# c) V" J, Y3 F8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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! k* ]) c, f S6 z7 t! l0 z9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the9 {$ X. _6 h2 S5 M
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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# Z) t$ A7 x+ T! z8 `! c10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( O8 Q" p5 q$ E9 U azone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
- U- k/ g. z0 @0 ?) laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 v/ S; M3 r7 @! A1 o' l/ m
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 S! v/ m3 l/ ^lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* ?: G$ P6 E0 Eblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is' G- e& c# r9 b/ W! e6 h
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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