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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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# f r# C" n% Y 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* U g) U4 f6 ]5 Z7 \8 H
capital of Canada ., B- [# \% p! w1 ]
+ t6 S q2 i' N6 ?3 u; m, e3 s 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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2 {$ E3 Y0 _& V2 q+ Z8 a. Q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
; \' T; h8 }$ v5 ~1 hcapital of Canada ./ V) I7 @$ @ @1 P
# ?1 ]; a9 Q1 n! R! t5 ], D Z 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is2 j- X% r# v8 `* F3 g6 K) I
$8.00/hour.
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$ C# y- n! {" a, I, X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour." m @/ c; T# o+ O* K
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* a5 k1 h0 ^8 f7 o0 @5 n
on a 15 year holiday ?/ }1 D! e. z t& a9 j1 t; S0 a
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
3 ^1 E ^7 V5 ] }' a. h5 \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)3 j: X( J) i# R
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" W) f0 f9 C2 P5 E& @
here sick.! I& J2 I$ D) x% z2 t
+ C! k, ~& p/ ~. A- r9 e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12. D- t6 V5 V R( `/ R
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.6 b. n2 G5 e" a; ^. M/ S
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8 j& G7 U- }3 |; X! h+ v! M THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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: l' A5 u; ]$ o4 G/ L8 @" e( L1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* D0 K; Z- \+ F" ?. tis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 |8 J. }9 y/ V @: a1 I( e
' X7 u1 d4 D9 z" i5 F' K2 }' j0 U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( }! T" @% g. N# ?1 ~# o6 j8 ~
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 e. K8 j4 Y: U7 fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires$ e, N. q& v( U7 g6 Y
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 q9 I( b4 \) I/ {5 xphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( M; b, Y" i/ [( U" ^8 u7 W5 _
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. C8 Y! y6 c3 W) y7 {$ ?cussed out, and possibly shot. E, i) Z1 P5 a% `2 m( s
& {; \8 B+ L' h, R' J5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# O: a+ V9 S% z3 {can get you shot.% B# y. K! C4 }8 C+ V$ B' K
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 |0 X* \3 I" \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% }, a" B5 [, M+ K& T X3 |# r$ M' {day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
9 B- d8 h5 H# r5 X9 T0 g* `1 m1 b' ^4 Bmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ @- h/ \" b/ w$ `4 C/ } \/ ~
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ N& g8 \3 b5 Z+ G0 ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: J% y V, y, I( X+ N
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all3 K% S( q% w8 x
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& u, \5 {, ]! }: a1 x: Q0 S
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' o9 J2 P6 u& x8 J5 I {0 faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 L; A7 W- G5 R% e; `( O2 U11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 A% [& z- G' B+ Z2 ^0 [$ t# \lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; |' K4 W9 p5 P2 ]3 ~
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ x8 [. S B4 b% V9 l; o; X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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