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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.$ N- a6 g" e6 J* t( m; {4 p% x
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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+ |+ A4 }* C4 t1 i$ P 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder2 c, J, S" J `: w
capital of Canada .7 @- T+ e+ z0 e8 S
" A* o t$ Z2 M 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug( i' B [/ H. b3 z) A- F( \
capital of Canada .& C" v0 ~3 |# x2 P- a
2 U3 R/ N# \& U! K7 } 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is6 E' s# B2 R) p6 Z
$8.00/hour.
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+ K; y: c9 \: i7 t4 r4 J4 Y8 B 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 \2 m5 h6 O# _( q# [+ T0 L1 _
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 G) V1 k1 T( M1 Z! w
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
7 _5 e( v% H& h% l2 pprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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# s+ c/ \- ^ F8 R* {1 L10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come7 _$ E0 V( F8 S% _. y: t
here sick.$ X9 c* P0 b, y U' u
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 G8 f# M/ k, b$ j: `
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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# n& K/ h6 W( O) l" r2 e0 ~ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( r/ G8 ?) W( Y( C( E, k6 D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "./ Y1 C9 p Y: e+ a, I
, A5 l9 j5 K! ?3 N5 }' g1 ?2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour: O, a1 c& k) F# k
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) l" ^0 a0 M) G4 V$ G+ v
7 M9 ?- M* C- t8 J- r5 h# o3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 R" |) F5 L( h+ s7 G
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( x" u$ G! Z/ d: h" H3 u( o
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: H/ z: e& r* e$ |! \
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 j b. Z- q/ @phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,/ e" f( f/ y' N. W$ Y( u C
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" K" l' T+ O6 p
can get you shot.+ h: ~9 c2 C2 R' R- A
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour* x# ]7 E$ Y5 x- a
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" V" v( T/ s5 s. Q2 p- bday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
2 J& o8 B) D4 ^ I- Rmore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
) p8 P. {+ ] U V' ^, K6 zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* J$ o2 L5 \0 Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ _8 U. k6 v7 X
# H8 {/ n- O$ e" b* m+ I( i* F; x9 v' @8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, p* `& T3 ?( i8 B" Athe same road.: J8 G4 ~/ i+ L1 K7 j6 q5 j
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; v; s7 W" W. z T9 O
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally8 X, z- X% d( ^# W5 v- U; U2 f
activated."
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8 r* ?0 l, t# ^9 A10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
) `" U% O+ J- [; v5 `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"+ `! n+ `( Z$ B$ D! X$ F
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ v0 k* Q9 ]; |: {+ E+ N% J+ |lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! j4 ?2 w& B% v/ ^
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is9 `4 E: m; p s% Q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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