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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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0 t) B( I6 Y; } 1. Bring your own house.
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9 Y) k- W5 N) ], F% n( O/ i# y 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and7 E9 y& v. x- R0 i1 |
hospital.
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/ \4 s e0 ~8 }1 F3 E1 z# @1 N 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
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; P9 s; z* L( D6 d& }; H 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug6 m; F; x4 c! g @2 S
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is- k: t" @' K, x; c d$ d! ]
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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3 ~* w/ ~1 y5 g( {( k& H/ e1 M$ b: A 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money! k* v, U7 e: V9 z0 k0 l
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
% ^" ~2 Z( e2 I, L: yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 l8 W$ a. R& n, i1 {& ~6 G* k- Y
4 ?+ l2 j9 s1 t; P10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' R7 {3 G- {/ {9 j9 _
here sick.
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' E# N$ {) p* ~$ H11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
3 u. N+ ?; h2 N4 i& Lyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.5 n, w9 d {* {* t1 y
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :' d* D* ?$ g' \* [/ g6 ^- t& }" t, D
: g( Q& r& e- G1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".7 S6 }- Y/ S+ g4 l
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 m* X# t5 p! b3 qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.: k0 ~' D" z+ ] i: B/ F
# s2 M$ E1 M; X" Y) e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, C4 v5 |6 ]. w% `2 {own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 j! Y5 D0 r5 _: M5 ?2 Gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 j$ I/ k' G* {* L2 f- s P2 ?5 f& P
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: }( n+ Y1 \) o* I/ P X1 B4 `8 Sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.( d* D$ p! B ]* D! L
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,% |$ p( m$ r, b3 | l& Z" J
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 {0 s& A2 R. C& e+ ~6 w0 q8 u5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
1 y8 K" _/ e' k! C' E% ]can get you shot.
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4 d% j) I( |8 V6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 P* ]6 l3 `' B' o0 R! X# k1 ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ A6 b/ l; W0 {+ j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and Z0 s. b/ Y4 } w) P8 W8 q3 Q
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ s6 p7 `' b6 V" D7 ~5 c6 v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- a4 i' G3 Q6 P O" h$ a! Ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. O. N* ]# I, G" D) S
& L' T; n! O6 b, Z6 W' T8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# k. |( n* p+ ` f. U$ u
the same road.
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& G( U5 G$ @0 P9 y6 { s3 F, R4 O9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) s# _+ o7 p' A) x! J6 \5 Z! bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally# _9 S4 V# r( C5 o/ b) D" W
activated."
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, C2 [, k! y* m8 V5 X10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km! G$ |1 L5 Z( \4 E9 \+ B' n
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"/ b( G! K; N; B) H" S
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
1 | Z0 ~/ A' B8 ~# h1 Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, s* m7 M+ q7 s7 I+ W. L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 o% k3 B; |: b( X
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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