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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA* W& u/ Z+ `$ ?% V: K
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' _( t0 F: q/ j0 v0 M) M9 X, H; V 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 R. I/ o# l" f9 N, B2 p
hospital.& `8 N- ^5 q8 y
6 m5 y( f2 \- g0 z3 p2 [7 s 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 y" ~ c" f) _* m% M1 T3 \9 T) h
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 l; t$ n9 ]6 q+ [9 E7 m
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 g2 q1 _; J# n6 O
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
( W$ y# d6 D( ?( C$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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) i; z/ S0 E( h- | i" k6 y# i 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money0 n: i8 M7 Z' J' }
on a 15 year holiday ?: n! o X! Z8 ]4 V3 v3 \; c
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas1 T3 @/ |0 I0 y+ Q9 U# I
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)1 f, K: F" p( I6 I
# j+ A% H2 D* K; Y, |- V( \6 ^10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
7 d2 a2 O6 w+ K/ O$ N5 Shere sick.5 }( ]: x" z/ n |! p
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 T; ~% m) X o8 J9 Z: I
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 E. V2 u; n( q( k
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".. Z0 m' O: w | E P' K" z! ]- C7 \
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ q% ?" k6 L5 m& d9 l5 x3 W
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.- j3 l! O* B" `% Y8 ?0 ]+ x8 G: S
& B- V& R- c: ~3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% y% L% N& Q5 r) l$ |
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest- q2 C7 @6 f% |+ u& { p
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires# A. Q& A8 r8 ]" c
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
, _. x! {6 I( A- Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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8 i: l9 d5 \7 G! H8 u# v6 p4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( D6 G6 a7 }( gcussed out, and possibly shot.5 v3 ^9 p6 w) k1 N* A/ ^
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 ?4 E9 m& }5 f& K$ I" kcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 h, n# S" X* a& h. J
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 O4 k; a) |, @" j& `$ Z* @day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: m# j/ p n U, l" b
more construction starts everyday.
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. E3 [+ v* t* G W8 n! R* j1 f. j2 I 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,; _; t9 {6 p" G& [9 O- k
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 X! \1 J! A% y7 M
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: n& t$ ?2 b- d: J3 Z7 i0 L) M
0 _* g5 T) R9 {; F$ {/ V- z* }8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
! F$ h% x( J P' S$ ~" a: B qthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the( W, f% E7 `9 c7 q2 t2 `
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km+ {: h5 \2 O' t/ M' ^1 f8 \
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
( w9 [* v8 e1 eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( H, ~+ ^8 E/ V% u8 E
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% [, R. T1 C+ |% Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
' v( c, O# s1 @6 `0 wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
; i) I. }; O+ l& y, `- i: C3 v8 K2 gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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