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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( D( T& X1 b% l2 Q
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: F9 h2 K" _7 Y' ]8 [. `9 u- x 1. Bring your own house.
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& R+ d/ y' K0 ^ O' z6 k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; ]! d) y; C( |& D% _. l
hospital.4 `( j: j. Y# C9 o0 a. y. P$ ~- ?
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder1 p' O ` b. l1 b; V, [" i9 J
capital of Canada .2 y) `+ K2 a+ }' s0 q4 F J
- y* J* k0 O8 g/ Q5 ]) T! T 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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! j8 g5 _2 S- P, h& F0 N 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- U* U" `$ j7 ~ |7 h2 u
capital of Canada .
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$ s1 L u4 ]* T6 ?2 c 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is0 X9 {, [" {! Z
$8.00/hour.
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' i7 c$ r, o# X 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 _) ]7 c$ L. P, N3 `5 Von a 15 year holiday ?! J/ c1 C- r0 F% T
1 O5 f, P9 |, K) V# y/ ] 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
* E) ^. u' E0 X9 B, \- Aprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' v% q5 u! T4 A; a3 s
# O, P& [" d. Y( J- y) `9 X* A10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come" m- A4 F- j, [' g0 }
here sick.4 O3 ]" B' ]) }) T6 X
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12, Z4 W4 @ f; G- H
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.* H; H& J6 u! M7 p* V& W
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) J7 `7 e, X. ^- S& {$ P, e; V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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+ s* Y* B9 O% t% A s1 r2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour9 @9 H2 F8 y2 g& y! u9 d6 L
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.& \' F, S0 u: s4 r; ] }3 e
, C. w% g' v0 |6 c; Q3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( q: k% K5 q+ ^" H; `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. c" J* C7 |0 O% Z# M
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 V, Z+ g$ o) y) O& [% Y* c" Q
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 | L9 ]' R0 K7 Y, M4 V% N5 u8 d
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
2 x' H) |, _: T& R. Bcussed out, and possibly shot.
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* y1 l( Y, ~$ H) p( Q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that; E# G2 k. T9 n1 I: g) b
can get you shot.% A7 E! t6 n/ \6 j$ G' u4 l8 g
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ ?1 q8 Y$ d$ o4 pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
' W; R2 V8 W: g: @8 L) u, Gday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and F; J" x( J, y0 F, _' `6 N
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) s2 @ _2 c3 c' ^
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 Z, ~! [1 c+ o( K) }$ Nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) w9 o L# u ?$ q9 `
& T6 F3 D8 ~3 L& ~. Z L4 y A+ v0 ^8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all( |% O9 H0 q4 U2 f
the same road.5 r! @4 L/ U# B
( z$ }- e; R7 r& b7 o) t% W/ `9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 O0 o8 r4 l7 Y; ?0 g8 O0 I& ^" b
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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8 t3 r- x( A% W. q10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 k9 J' d7 W# d+ ^' {8 z) Q, Ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# t, y1 E9 {# U- L) |" d/ J! N0 I! J
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 V7 x% T2 S1 _ \; `/ ~, a
! m2 S- w- K) w11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* d' e! F# L. d2 t7 t: O
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) e3 Z8 q6 a9 l! fblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 D9 N3 [) O- }" L3 S8 H' c8 M
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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