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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 ?- P N( I& O9 G5 c
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder6 ~3 z9 A& E/ g
capital of Canada .2 J4 c: Z$ E4 \$ _- Q& v; E
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .+ D5 e- T/ [( f' g& g6 n5 a
! x: U( `% I: N1 g Y/ V2 R* y7 K 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) Z9 V( m0 x) U
capital of Canada .4 `: n. X2 \: n5 i! P
! b) e, T- K( h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: M1 T- h; s1 Z: t* W1 m* X' X# x* J$8.00/hour.1 b5 K( T6 L% o
' V/ c* e2 O' q5 u 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 U4 R$ G; |" u5 l
* Q& y# @7 _' U/ t2 q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas) m6 Y6 a1 j/ u u# \2 p8 P$ n
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come+ U* M+ V. i6 A4 B
here sick.3 `; G9 x, h% _# B
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! x2 d) M6 Y: g# oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.. T- k$ t0 t0 L# ^# y
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% L% F: s: v+ I; z+ H j9 t: z( [5 L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." p/ i" R5 z7 f3 m! s
9 v8 m) J' @0 b2 W* a1 @2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
' }2 S, l" y. @ }+ S! Bis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 Z. D: n6 }; q; a- R* b# }
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 {. I l/ D6 }7 f# eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 F6 h% Q: s a: v7 b2 ]4 o) e
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- q4 j- Z( n. J' t/ f) [go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 f: |. `6 m5 v5 t. q- Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., y G& d4 ]6 w" x4 g3 o
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ H+ b& J% _ V# b3 o
cussed out, and possibly shot.7 _1 k4 ]4 J8 Y
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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- [& q; Q1 u' h4 Q3 e6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour0 f2 ^1 w% f/ d4 L- ]1 y9 n: n
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) L; N6 J8 G. t( P& y* `
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
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' f1 q5 m/ @: G0 s 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% V! x1 ~2 X% n
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; w9 t! a0 q" f* @- G$ e/ Qthe same road.
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8 w5 L+ ? w C& h9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. k6 n [0 F* g; Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" q) a8 a$ G9 E. y0 f5 b- e
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
' y( d A; {$ u+ jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 S5 }' n# i% o
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' a' ]# d6 q7 a x
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: \" U v: o9 M9 Y# p7 x- F& qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ }3 j3 n% I# p3 _6 U% f
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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