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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and- o3 F. [2 X' E# P4 I+ A
hospital.! R- g' X4 l. _/ X" l$ Y0 R. D

8 t" g: r* L/ V) I7 A1 b1 P2 R; } 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder# |7 v% Q4 _: \9 F  ~
capital of Canada .. W& ^% f. r, `
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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+ l5 k7 m. z; G3 l: ?5 J+ o 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug' c' A% I' w& u. g# D" H
capital of Canada .
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9 A  I+ ]3 a. f7 e 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% F8 g6 t5 l* C5 M9 X; ?% G( u
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.5 M+ v! M5 {4 x! X) P

7 v; z* i8 ^( {6 D# l" C' _: a 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money4 Z# [0 {0 c$ ]0 I% w
on a 15 year holiday ?3 X2 z* Z1 @1 o. a' b7 Z

0 d7 Q4 A4 J8 t4 y* i6 v 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas( W( I; S& P3 {$ \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)  i) Q9 h9 b5 Z4 f8 R) H! r# T# B. ]
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) j/ u# S1 c% P$ Z" }1 N/ B" E) s
here sick., \2 u6 q. r7 r
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ P& `* e, F* [  L9 s. w# F' Byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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' {' o" T' W- ~1 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".9 {/ Q: b" e& A4 h0 _2 D
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
! Z% m! \" F/ gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.% R* O, I6 w7 C4 P4 t
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its) B! I6 ?- P3 N6 e% o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( H% T. H" P8 ]; smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, u7 d7 o2 H5 m8 `go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell3 u& C. O* I2 B) F2 p$ G
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.2 U; y2 N; b, a1 _

% y3 |7 N. ~5 r' Z5 r4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" x4 D1 H4 G6 n' }3 b6 _+ r( \cussed out, and possibly shot.) t( m6 Z- F" E. g$ @& G

* l! k( j) M+ U5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that2 b' W' v& j$ D/ s
can get you shot.
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! @- e$ A1 u3 ~6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 n6 E+ w1 S1 Z& L/ H9 T8 G
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ G, Y  x4 X4 |* B; }- zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and+ }. T: k) F1 }6 M; f
more construction starts everyday./ ]' r: Q1 S1 w: }+ \* U# y) m

1 G' D* Z1 S1 \! E- S5 q  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: [, ~1 `' y& B1 Bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 T$ I4 w/ Y2 ^  m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 G$ o- Z$ G6 E+ c

; v, u- s  k2 w8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
, U- L! E3 @+ Z7 q. p3 fthe same road.
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  f( I, E( M' T% w9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
: c2 j5 ^) j6 x/ Jshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally' z! F5 Q" r8 I
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ S  ]1 q8 R6 z6 `1 lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"& j5 n5 `; S5 d, B  M# |
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.* D# K. i: S- o. @: L& a0 i
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, o) o0 N7 d. h, O; D# ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- m- P. P3 |( `" N
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% J8 r. ^) Y/ h' Rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。- |- Y, x- Z' H! m/ O
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。4 s& w+ Z* |( y- g( J3 w9 t
有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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1 o" c) ]7 ?) J7 t此地钱多, 人傻, 速来 ! Q: o: P9 \- P5 O+ Q+ T
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( E# l4 E& A$ C$ S, M[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 . M- b6 t8 P% Y
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
7 R0 v0 Q: u9 ?5 T" p4 B  \满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。5 Z* B* F' h  A" @
...

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+ b0 E, `" L/ F/ ^/ V# l$ O+ [ 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表 " R! i- A) ^# j

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$ f6 q: N- s% x9 W8 Y8 W3 d7 N 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗?
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2 I1 b/ ^7 Q6 H; u  j我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 9 M- Q0 O- j0 \
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。1 h1 t  {$ ^- w2 u
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。4 ~9 ^" O) s- w+ q7 C) d1 }; c
...
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你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。  s% x; N# b" W, Z9 b1 y

' z- Y' I; D; C8 p& j* ^再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks./ x7 Q* u8 O2 ~
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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