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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 A9 P# R! l: }' A4 J4 p
hospital.
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2 e( k; N! H, K1 |. @ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 u- N- B$ n. j& Ocapital of Canada .
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. j1 r3 M" N: c 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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0 k( f2 `5 S( l- M( i; I% w 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
- u% T6 x: e. X8 [ rcapital of Canada .
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$ H" M" D4 y q6 W' }, r. N 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is! z" f; a; K6 N% W# r" q) ^
$8.00/hour.- V0 |) N' ]( _3 a+ M3 x
- ]2 D& J! h, c- F 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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+ p& i6 W8 v& p0 W1 d 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
9 t& i' l0 u$ y3 B2 a0 Vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)! ^8 w( l6 ]$ H1 G
- [- v) |8 K4 m% s( G10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come6 M- ]9 o+ `6 [ ~1 \. J
here sick.1 p) [# D8 T' u
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
' `$ I1 A: z9 t7 [years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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b, ^: I+ B( f* G( ^2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( r/ K+ K& k( q9 kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 I+ M/ B. i1 M; S" Z7 M
9 ?! m3 X* r4 B5 k& B% U3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 h; b4 M/ O: u; W, [4 D
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
# B5 K$ c3 ^5 z* P1 d6 pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; b5 K( B! ^- C# ago second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
* S3 u. v' D3 tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,+ n9 j# w+ H* m1 U6 o0 u' }
cussed out, and possibly shot.1 [ v! b8 C* E( K) E+ ^% e
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 ]4 z! L) g: H9 K; `. `1 v
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- o) m4 z9 a0 M: ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next/ |3 |, G3 }7 Z+ c
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 E3 _1 P5 z9 b: C4 e
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 R7 k3 z A- l: i xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,9 l# J6 s; N( Q! b
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all4 o- Q+ D6 b( b$ ^3 S
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."
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) o$ W) B1 U( A3 \$ T10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 ~" l/ Z" {0 e8 H, G
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* u1 F! f# O" c' {3 ~+ p% u8 j$ Zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
3 W6 b; W2 `, r. [# B0 i% N4 tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! v' ~- F7 p3 D0 U6 E
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
7 T$ Z- t2 V! |& L6 K3 Ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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