 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA" ^3 c% f6 v, p" Z
+ F5 P" u# `# g B/ |: K; l
4 o" y$ K, L) h
% P$ l1 \' |8 U7 p* q 1. Bring your own house.4 H$ x |# d+ O( l$ P6 M5 |" s$ Y
( \4 w* I z8 ^+ j9 t- M; \+ Y' b6 k 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
6 V- c( l: X1 G, r! s5 d; ahospital.
2 S. q! s9 L/ C. ^ G: V4 {% m$ v
' u/ a9 j; ?# k4 [ 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
; q y5 j1 x9 k5 Acapital of Canada .
9 P$ ?" b( m1 G2 Y& {
: _* U# o' g+ k+ Y1 [$ Y% _ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." a! r: T4 \5 ~( W- C
6 R0 C0 o) u- F5 G$ V 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ E0 f2 w# l3 c* A8 Lcapital of Canada .
5 m" l S( L$ u' ?" ~9 g+ p3 [
, w3 m3 @) C0 W0 `" b 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
5 l( R' W5 \* q$ X3 U+ P& P$8.00/hour.& k) j: a/ a2 S7 [' a
" B% o" s# U4 k8 x
7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
: N" y, A/ K0 J g4 T9 R: s+ `/ @
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
3 o& R5 p7 ] B) con a 15 year holiday ?
/ F6 \0 n: n6 A% ^5 p9 m' c1 h# n( D8 A+ C/ Y
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas. V9 C6 ]* G' r
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
, Q, q/ d q* t0 {5 {. P
( L. \! w z- i% b4 j# }5 w' c# O# H9 `10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
5 c; t' Z) G v- Z/ |" L X6 C& A4 rhere sick.
6 E; u. x7 n7 c% e+ i6 x, }. [8 |0 P$ Y( ]# A+ S3 S; s
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 123 z; r/ w6 @. N, @
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) s7 r/ m- J. Y7 N# h
: B3 B" f C9 z
& m9 d) i. A( [1 i; X; _! t* c: V8 e/ u- s/ C; I
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
- e& ^) s m4 X. _) _
8 _0 p. P# S; r- S* o) \1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".% r( b9 ~6 U. D8 _
9 @: A" X* S& v* g* j" P
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 b) K3 H9 s. j# D1 s# M
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning./ u- z7 y1 w" v% L. d3 d. r5 j; E
7 d# E! \. v0 X: `3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' d2 y$ v7 u$ r1 n# P+ Z# j- G
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' e( G# w+ s3 l8 Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; G4 Q9 d8 U% f+ ?& _# w# ~- J7 c8 jgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell7 O9 H$ B! _$ k# m% u7 i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
) R Q& e9 P4 R* x% H$ y' I( p$ m1 Y/ v) t3 m+ ]
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* w' L) D5 |5 ?, Ucussed out, and possibly shot.
0 s, T/ }5 }$ b1 f7 M" d! g. H" @. b( l* j' C. T* F2 w# B9 m
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 \6 Z1 T* N/ {& v- N O% c7 H8 N) p& Scan get you shot.: f2 ]1 _! L$ B; @: p# n7 C% |
, z8 s& ^) l; j" c6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 I. c* f5 ^% ]: U) c7 E" q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! E- C& [. |5 u% e
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& p3 w) K( G, E& b. `+ v& Y. Qmore construction starts everyday.9 _# t* c @+ f
5 T7 a" u" \6 ?8 ^$ ^8 O 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,0 W+ R, Z T5 M7 a: Z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,0 g5 S. K/ O$ N: N; @2 q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' o! f5 b5 @) x' S
" h* ]; k6 W; w2 a# M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; O c- w/ d3 _; e( S. Sthe same road.8 U- X' E y4 c* [" ?$ k5 p( U
9 f/ z. J1 W" v9 d9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 S( w# t5 c7 ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally3 m% W: f( w* L8 d1 P
activated."
, S" @4 z- p- Z2 g
e% v# T' R7 b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 O2 A# c8 N6 H5 T$ g' jzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
# y5 U t3 h, caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.( H4 m$ S/ [: ]
+ H: A v/ q" K( Q& `8 ]) F1 {11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# o7 a% y% i% i" @! Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ P i2 ~+ u. _1 v8 lblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
0 @9 _1 X- h' W/ Z3 T, _" D) gvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
O( C# ~3 h$ k: T
