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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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* X3 }1 Q9 d1 S4 G6 \. i 1. Bring your own house.' z% F# [+ T4 T4 v
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder' r: q0 a1 @: C, x4 e) Z! O, ?4 r* p
capital of Canada .: Z2 [5 ]$ g0 V' H' W$ E
( }3 g* n& U& j5 \3 j- o1 j$ t4 ~# c 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: ]; p: X1 z) i% A
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is' ^/ y5 G7 O% @' W/ H1 D
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.& M- c T, ^" b6 }0 u& a2 @% x
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money, U/ b6 u) s- X* v2 Z
on a 15 year holiday ?5 u: Q& F: ?' v5 C; \, w* `. W
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas5 ~9 {" I( ]1 y" t" R3 C$ e
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage); `5 T- h1 R3 j: V1 H/ ]$ t7 D
/ L) T/ n8 P. e$ ?5 Q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
+ Z1 I% l+ Q ^1 \7 {2 u4 mhere sick.' J8 {7 v; ~0 a1 C l
r# Q- V9 h9 S2 v% K( o11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
1 Q" y- R2 l( Kyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :% m# s; \0 F! d o y+ k% _2 G* e
/ V& A* \. k! @- d2 @1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "." P! m! `/ h4 O* j V7 v, g6 Y, E
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour$ \9 L$ D# i9 k$ |9 d7 i
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 c0 A! w: J& ^+ ]: g o3 q; q: Z) @
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# h3 o9 Q; `: Zown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* w7 t' R1 q( y9 _5 w8 C# e
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires5 I4 ]4 C8 s( o: j1 k' U
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
0 K7 W$ e4 d# `$ w0 l7 a. Vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) m- g6 g0 K1 g' {$ o ~/ t0 [
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; q! Z \3 d% r! h5 E% \cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 w- m6 m% F% R, \% G' Ecan get you shot." l' a" m% {9 A! C5 r# a3 q
% D+ J$ C0 X4 _! _ L; R6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour# M' S! Q3 a0 C$ q$ L/ a7 o! J
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; k- R' r) A' ~
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& V; b& v& ?' h! r* ]more construction starts everyday.
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5 J2 e4 `6 U9 U0 d 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,2 p# S( c. M2 x" J8 P2 c& T0 L
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, h, A! C, L2 o) c* hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- L- F) `8 ~( {& \8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" V; y1 z& K2 Y) s' D/ k( }
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 J6 V z# z& Q( @2 I
9 z- g; k# t, R! Y11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
, i8 Z+ R7 @' Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 c+ s/ h( z3 q; i! |& X1 Q
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is# T# _. Z" K& V3 H3 _. R0 x
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
