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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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. d& T3 W1 l. Z$ ?; d 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
8 M3 c* W: ~5 v1 K1 \) L" h$ b9 Bhospital. O' a: i; [! ~8 ^$ v' S
! A7 W" m* ]4 ?# | 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder& F- T, s1 s9 W5 ~' S
capital of Canada .+ Y [+ {* D% h' L6 L8 ^
, Z+ d) B+ j7 C ?& U 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .- B& C3 B9 L% @- b
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
+ }; R0 E- Z/ s" G' v9 }capital of Canada .8 l5 Y7 f; d4 _$ P4 Y6 r0 ^
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is1 v" A2 I5 A; X& J/ x
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.2 i! \" `* y1 ]/ J, X
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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2 V2 d/ b3 S6 H( x2 x 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 k/ V4 J5 Z9 lprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come4 t3 p, C* M' O7 k
here sick.0 D* {) m, [; B# v2 b/ f- a
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
5 I8 g0 ~4 h# d5 D& n* E. Syears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.: e+ c( q5 e' L
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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; o3 \/ A9 {. ^2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
. T$ A) I6 U* q" Y9 k$ ~3 Pis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 w( e: I0 K# i. R4 @: g1 u
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 w9 Z" h6 D2 W9 s/ H/ {muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: R& J; T0 v5 i* g% I" i* P/ j
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ [; I- |9 R5 [" K. l
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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! f2 z V, K! g' a. E4 P4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,1 z3 V2 D, d9 A# A1 D
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 X: I, `* R, ^8 E& I4 ]8 n
4 b d: Q" @; E; n$ f) F5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
# o1 F3 N2 v1 ycan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. V0 ^; ^3 f+ a5 _& Ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 {9 t2 b1 o3 H- Q3 \- V, a( jday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ l1 Q. a! j1 H3 u/ R) hmore construction starts everyday.0 j& N& s0 n% y X0 x
" d# @2 ~6 [. K3 r7 w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
6 k, b1 n. E ?8 }7 U# m9 B( {* ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 r; j' B* S0 F( w" e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all& g7 Q* D, r# ?
the same road.. }# X( P" I! ~9 _9 D" |) @
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."9 ~. W" v1 {7 q: P& ]
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 S6 c- j5 l) C( B# s
6 i; b! e( ]: f5 ]$ X. U11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, z' Y1 ?" P% V
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 s$ D% B' r5 |& K X# ublankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is5 y* a# x- |8 n. K4 }$ T% h
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
