 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA+ _, }9 @) m9 l) l5 I6 a. k
/ K5 Z9 P- @% h( _
3 K2 i9 H! e8 i1 a( o' B7 A( R5 H
$ g3 |9 {& C1 e9 ^ 1. Bring your own house.+ B+ `! u$ w1 m1 p0 u/ c, @4 s6 E
8 K4 ]+ d% g% N
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
0 o m6 ?( N2 n$ Jhospital.
- h% K8 [# R$ r# V7 k/ H2 J+ I1 \: y3 b" H" V/ n8 q! N& T
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 c' y9 [1 h% p+ k: Z0 rcapital of Canada .
' n5 [* n1 x6 l" Y8 |$ F
7 f1 j" A: `& \, b: i, W' ^0 o 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .1 e! n% R Z9 x" r$ b( a/ s+ q! H
. ^5 [1 p) H) F7 h8 `4 C
5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug. {8 @! }9 ~6 Y$ W
capital of Canada ./ K7 q0 b! C6 @& M
6 @+ ]7 r4 G1 j6 g 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is/ F0 }- j5 B G
$8.00/hour.
: m8 E9 Y- F+ U& a! V
! C8 l2 f1 R; o4 }- L 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
8 W. d% J7 N" j7 m' f* o) _6 x
f6 d' a( b1 b! s# R/ G% I/ |* J 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
) |3 b# U& L8 L0 e, G: u1 non a 15 year holiday ?
) `( L+ K% s) _' D9 v! E
8 I6 u# @ G' l% S% E7 F 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas2 X4 c" w; g4 F1 W9 l
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
! R/ T: ~5 c* V/ ^: Y$ b- {3 N, t' { \. A) H' {) g: O1 p7 J
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come0 W+ [( T2 g/ z! E [3 p# b
here sick.
* ^; n7 a% f5 s' P) Z( _, J9 B# k2 O2 q
11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 n- t1 u4 M3 J. ~3 J
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
; o. I) }& z9 f) N- m( b# B3 p1 Y' J0 @. J& P
% w _; t+ g+ l2 b" W7 H
" p' [7 |7 S* H4 e THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :" n) `" z3 R, z. y8 ?
/ ?, O6 e$ ? X5 D: B6 N1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) J8 ^7 @, l# G
; }( Q' C- f- N1 b% [2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
8 H; a4 G _! L7 Gis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
+ N+ R4 D9 D7 Y9 @4 U! f+ y @% z: L
3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. q @3 o; t, q2 S+ k6 A8 Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 X1 {& T) d5 E( G7 w
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 _) i$ E' G/ B, e" a* b, r
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 x: E6 a6 f+ T r& \( fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
% s0 R+ E$ h; D
M+ v5 o$ Z8 p; R9 N4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ r& b; ^% W- g! R* z8 Z6 a4 l1 K
cussed out, and possibly shot.
/ {' K" W0 }! w1 D2 f% S3 h6 V6 ?5 a7 ^- I( O
5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that1 h: ?4 k4 z4 U2 d# ?$ \1 U
can get you shot.
$ U5 G! P1 F/ W2 C5 i3 l* _. v5 s: O
6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour4 l+ [. q3 v6 L
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 n) K! c7 ^" o" Z4 }( i+ i2 i- m
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and, N+ A- U% l9 k( ]7 f
more construction starts everyday.4 _2 b, N# B2 X7 V* \) L: D
/ c2 F' E( b; v4 }0 f3 G
7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* u' ?4 g# p, vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 s' `- W4 c$ G: [4 h8 Hsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ y: z3 w8 }3 |' C
D1 F, j, F6 P e8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all6 B0 v& L( p, l8 S! L
the same road.8 {8 s' g$ [3 Y8 u
6 i* i8 X f5 y' u ~5 u( N
9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
4 v4 v; w( e( \shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ r6 R3 a+ _) ^. |( w
activated."
9 u+ E6 G1 U! J1 H
% U! L/ ?: Y( V; Q0 K1 s10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km6 s% D% H* q$ E; {# Y# [3 u+ ]
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") n2 z, Y' n* F! `& |2 f
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
* z) u' b1 ?8 ^, l7 ?/ o3 G9 r: \9 s, J6 X6 z2 D3 c: F7 w
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ i( @* C& O( Tlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ G6 r; Y3 O: I# tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
& M1 S" N/ k$ \' b8 B) K6 i, rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
% V& T& W$ o' C! X2 Q* r. V! \
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
8 z1 @7 u0 G& G
