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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house./ q# v' w- b( Y4 c' r! @& o
, v) V& w# d. z) H- s 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
+ W5 G/ C/ K( [. _* Whospital.0 C( e3 F% T) U' [; h" }- ^. x' L- r
, A$ v5 C$ l; f0 ]7 ]7 H* k; L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 W- x. U( K: F; \capital of Canada .* |/ U3 }0 F8 X3 \# c& d
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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y* O+ \9 `* l( M 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 [3 D& i. ~' W+ [) \
capital of Canada .6 ^9 {! n1 W9 m( Z0 [% M
- a% Y1 t, P* I: D 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
1 h, W# b# l/ J4 Y( b9 A$8.00/hour.7 y5 ]3 x1 }$ ?8 L0 A! u
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) d( y J! U% M% C. J2 S
4 z1 w; d% y' A4 U6 Y 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ Y$ J9 G }6 z2 k- eon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas! c. E$ u0 G" k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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4 S% W, V, [/ _3 T( Y0 @11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
" N' m" a7 q m. |1 Iyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 Y1 o: R* v. X+ ^) [5 I
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2 z# }; _1 N8 c# C THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% J4 B: T0 X% x# y2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* K( N1 G4 E2 P1 H3 q5 Y/ Xis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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% i3 n' L# z6 j2 t$ w3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
$ ?! |9 V' e. h, m, ^: pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 r& x# O0 G0 U; w. @/ b7 Q7 f
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. j2 o$ d P( K6 d- _" _1 T9 E
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
7 u; b6 g# s, H+ n+ Z' ^phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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% o0 j# h! M. u. j! Z: P. i" A4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" s' N7 B; M% T4 ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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0 d* B! ]7 V* c5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 i7 x+ R, ^4 n+ z/ x; tcan get you shot.* X: m' W0 \$ P2 B. ]
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
$ Y9 I4 }/ h' K& S4 c0 Obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! }. g) G+ ~, ]" A9 d( ?day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and+ n' K$ r; d. J4 }9 |# U @
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 t% o$ n9 A8 p! ~! g8 c+ X3 O: Qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* T+ d+ C- s' \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 h6 R7 x3 S$ E6 \shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
7 q) ~+ b- q: H. \zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 c y) J$ B# F% j7 G$ _accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 D1 Y; k+ }5 s
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; p: o+ F( ]) {% \/ f' N* jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* ^% K9 F: v" t# n7 w% f( ]
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
% \* I% N2 D6 Mvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
