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9 U1 q" `, ]) ?* q! q9 ^/ AWhy did God make mothers?0 ?9 _2 c3 ]4 k
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.+ `% O) n" Z2 A# o
2. Mostly to clean the house. 8 J7 n0 |) b2 T2 D/ v% P
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers?
; g' n4 T( H: G0 }1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
+ W3 ~0 t3 [9 I* b% C2 Q2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. , Z3 b9 q! k' ~+ Q; W
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
9 N: i1 D F$ e1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
1 u0 _8 E; p& H2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 9 K$ b8 q% `: F: B" ~0 ]8 `! y2 Z
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
! \* o A u" Y% W1. We're related.
; q; Y5 X c% Z+ f5 s" M6 K0 B! t8 n2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. $ V; R& A2 Z) \) Q8 E
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What kind of little girl was your mom? # y9 o: y; H. h/ c9 @+ Y
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
( d' A: K- |& z2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
9 f% g) F. r# O: @* K t6 t3. They say she used to be nice. 1 `6 ?! W, Q/ X) V
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? ; p U. \6 L8 n- i- T+ v8 H# n/ S
1. His last name.
6 e' h9 x' n% c7 I: j2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? }0 R d$ w+ z+ x! y
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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0 Q, c4 H% P1 l$ w$ t. ]Why did your mom marry your dad?
' i \& {% g7 ~8 U' _5 |& d1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
% w# ^: z6 ~1 f0 I, U6 A& u2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 8 W! k/ V0 L' }2 h+ h, |2 V) v$ ]
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. & H7 x2 j3 L" J- S; O9 }
, D: L( t7 {" A/ lWho's the boss at your house? + f7 Z9 p: k, e0 {/ n# [
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
/ e( n, A6 }1 x0 o7 D* C& X2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
$ J7 M5 G" Y# }2 j$ W- @4 R3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 8 @6 `2 K: j; |. c
7 u {6 W3 V5 o( H) R" `0 T+ aWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
, x; F; p z$ m. U9 H$ c1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. ' _9 m# d+ @: ^: d
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.* Q" Q/ b) I5 W; I* j. k, D& G2 l! a; I( D% \
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. 3 M) l( y: F1 l' d$ N" V
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 0 B9 R% r! \2 m* f/ \, W+ ?8 c
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What does your mom do in her spare time? % }5 I9 }; \1 Q4 g: n: E
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
0 S8 u6 S+ Y( J- F2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect? 5 ]1 I7 w8 M; z5 e( d
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
+ g5 F6 _, F2 a% U6 `2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. ' J4 c" {9 M; B3 d
2 a9 K0 c3 I- Q) r$ U9 ?If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
. S9 `! T/ y. C. K1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
) R3 \# _7 }- B, [0 y2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
( V8 q' o' C+ j' s: T% R9 g3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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