 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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% S2 O- \' b) u5 `( E3 O' CTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. l% M. d" N+ Y6 I
* T; U% C! B+ p8 [6 c* |; ^Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ! u3 F! K0 x5 R8 P' e
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.1 V' Q5 I3 A8 H1 @6 A
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. , J9 f2 L7 M1 p0 n* G& K( ^
# R& D0 R# P( m% d" H( \5 c D, \Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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8 _1 `) d4 ]" {. ^# V3 ?Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- b8 Y* r# s! D4 s
3 T* E$ V4 k' C0 AWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. : l; t9 u1 _% a4 K, m; K6 I! k
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. , r; {3 s4 Q6 k4 V; r
4 o+ `. k% \$ i c a" f" GRinse conditioner off hair.
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+ v. \) `; A7 \7 p SShave armpits and legs.
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% V$ u, X, a9 i8 k G- v1 t8 v$ mTurn off shower.
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/ N4 n7 i$ e% q: hSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. v7 y* V3 W. u* w
- ?. L: D9 m5 d1 K* rGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ; F1 g. F2 Q9 S5 Q$ A, j% M
- R2 z4 y" X lWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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$ Z( P' U' r, E, C1 j: t& QReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. , @* s ?" H, G/ c
, i9 s+ K. K" Y5 y# m0 bIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. & j9 T$ p/ z/ z$ y1 Q2 [5 j3 l
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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5 H3 d. y& b# u: u1 Z2 tIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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) f. q. a4 j( ~: ?/ @' w$ MLook at your manly physique in the mirror. * U' d# e, p5 i; f5 j' w
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) g* D2 y. U3 _5 t! U! ~, P- l) a3 ^$ O- s
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. " F* k5 w) `8 j- Z; {- H
9 g! y& r( p# y6 xBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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" V7 h5 G( v1 S% L7 t2 ~) Z; UFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 6 G8 K- o; k1 G% c/ {$ T+ y! ~4 i& }
5 ~* I9 N8 E% d3 ]Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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6 W% a! ]0 c4 l, {Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. . {$ k; m9 I$ K* G& f
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Pee. ^* u w8 P v2 M
8 C/ g9 p# T) d5 R" Q7 bRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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4 r% W# ?% P1 R& vFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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5 Z2 Z' d0 \4 J% s, G# fAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 0 Y' H7 g, R# L$ `3 I9 a! A% S
5 |1 D9 n1 ?) m+ |Throw wet towel on bed. 4 F; S$ Q3 H+ k5 {; Q: a. F
0 w/ X( E9 J4 P5 ?If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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