 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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1 \: i7 f) A: ~" i- s, uTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.' T& h) i6 b! `& A# [7 U% A% \9 L7 a
3 J1 F5 Z2 d" h, m9 i' O hWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & x7 [9 k+ u' K4 B( e0 f( v, L
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.) R( @: m! T+ S; ^
/ t/ Q" S/ |+ ZLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- # K4 K0 O& \$ _0 l/ b" U7 i& ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.' o( t( g: d! V. a' ^5 \9 V
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. , b( o! y! Y3 x! B
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. $ ?$ t6 ^5 U' ^- V/ b; C3 P5 L* r
" Z# x2 v4 W0 rWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.- v, x& l4 E) ~
- Y" w: B* r G5 }; A3 ?* HCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. % [8 H* Y) C9 L: K0 p& R# |
1 y7 C0 N$ a8 ]! x) EWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. f- p9 J: n; _" a
) C9 f6 ?4 R4 B- cRinse conditioner off hair.
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5 h! n8 W4 B, Z8 \, G1 pShave armpits and legs.! g9 Z9 H* r* a& Z' H" U# p
2 v! b) K0 u4 `' t+ P, [- wTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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0 d c6 G9 W' eSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 7 L* {% }* e$ F5 T
4 U0 S% \/ v, G/ X3 I% |. G0 xWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 4 r! t7 s7 |6 }5 i# K. A/ L; o1 K4 h) p
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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+ K( I! S! u! b/ SIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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2 [' O# r% ?) c }HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: $ M$ F1 d( G) Y; `7 n6 g! U# h
7 T8 |7 _- R) X7 T' f" {. u5 nTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. F% L u: D. M; }2 L
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. & x3 G& {5 B1 g+ F2 |$ ~, F. Q& _
+ d4 B( p' h6 k& } P6 RLook at your manly physique in the mirror. # }6 a7 i, Y, P( J: O- g
4 e0 Q1 b5 V: O6 `1 O0 Z9 EAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 1 k; G3 U. L5 `9 m' K
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. : b( O# T1 e* t0 J
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 3 H, B+ T" u9 U Y- B7 l
# z6 ]3 C* o8 t# M. O9 M6 s7 uSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. , \* X1 y# _4 ]* l6 \+ a9 {3 H S
& Q* @" _, F0 bWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. . s! Q: l; Q5 V* N+ s
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. , W; G0 X8 G9 \
9 ~& v& _% j' K2 i2 L. sPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ' n/ W& R& C; r
$ l" e- ?1 |( @Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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, ~" N! y# |- CLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 8 M4 }: I4 ^2 q4 f3 M
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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