 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 r8 E/ X& s: x3 K7 M/ [, M
; g6 l. g6 z7 n' O1 v, R9 f+ `Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. . t3 G$ b, r# O# i/ w, C
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- , w& V. I+ N0 R! P: ]
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., H4 o8 z( r B, G& a9 y' |
( g: m4 Q5 v+ T4 X; HGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' s5 @6 s1 I' E4 e% V
8 ~' H: l1 q- GCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..1 z1 e% B/ S( n9 {" x; y
* u) r2 C6 s& s9 J2 C F: HWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.+ d; O7 H0 Z( W5 W
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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9 p1 f- b8 _$ ]1 z" ^4 \, ]7 @, XSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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* U( e2 R. a) z; \Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 2 K' j$ w- y% J9 E( |6 U1 Q4 x2 b
+ m3 P& w4 B; z2 ~' UWrap hair in super absorbent towel. ! \6 |+ [& _+ G) j( c5 r. G
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 2 X0 O9 g0 r; E7 [) {3 T4 Y0 ]3 w
% e3 U5 G. L8 ]; W, l% uIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. j; G( R; [) d t) y/ u' @
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 5 h1 h- f, A$ ~* S& L
- g) _; w8 w2 b0 R8 V) |* y0 p: {Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - N( `6 C# \% P0 Q- ]
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Walk naked to the bathroom.. M5 L! r9 T" Q6 w1 a# L5 t! Y
& O5 X+ a7 |; C1 J% f, F4 E; L2 YIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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0 P/ F$ l- e2 n7 v, C3 x2 `- \Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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0 {5 \2 L3 G. |; O% R1 j* NAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ( c; M3 t' b. M$ B/ I- B: H6 Q
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 l9 I# g1 G1 e v* D! I
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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/ b" c, t, X: _1 y. E0 P. kFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 E! }' C- r6 y3 x+ C% S; h8 _3 H
5 {7 b9 W9 n# s9 _) W2 M: A: hWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 2 [" X+ j: }7 ]2 @* h2 o! d) X
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 0 P& G. `. h0 b
9 Y8 j) t+ s- \Pee. 4 `6 e: b- x9 i- \5 B, `
, k4 T# G$ P+ V9 ~Rinse off and get out of shower. ' K- }2 j3 `1 B: m, X, ?# T1 J+ b
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Partially dry off.2 R4 B" o# g: R% [8 e/ J
3 g& R" _/ ^0 F5 d& N: KFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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" K- ~$ }, V9 G. P* ^Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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$ ^' Q2 k: y0 `( KReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. 3 \- u4 _# G/ I" |. y0 q
, Q# ^3 x$ z" _# C* M' bIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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