 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 z1 T' @3 {' J; N( E
) ?' @- Q W% z( s3 LWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 4 ~( V; c0 h* S6 M5 q, @
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas./ O! d/ _, x7 K9 w
+ Y5 f0 R; K& L9 V |5 t/ lLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- % u: n9 R3 x+ n6 I4 d
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. ) E5 {* p0 q/ d# c. W) O$ b9 {- d
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. - p0 w E& a8 A7 S
; A( a8 a% F9 _$ Z' E nWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.. w! s' ]) f( w
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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& Q* ^" l2 I" @5 V; t2 f d$ ^Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ( @) L. E- x$ Z6 q
3 J& u% i% @# e- `3 {, SRinse conditioner off hair.! H( f8 T3 F% Z2 j- c+ r
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Shave armpits and legs.( ] c& ^' b! u7 J, ~$ v' i
) q9 U% I; q# l4 g2 vTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.$ I/ m0 P3 p2 D1 T& k" m. j5 P
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 1 Q1 {" J& _% J
0 [( F) Y. J1 I4 J, O0 f& j$ @8 _Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. . r* k/ X% ]5 B
( K3 g) ~ c' {: E- EWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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5 T0 ~3 L. |8 i9 ^& V% PReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 5 W- \8 v' ^* I9 I$ _7 @- S6 F4 P
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ; S. t3 I$ O3 D+ h* K" j8 @ m8 |' q
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: ' G. G3 N3 f: x' Q- t
4 _0 M5 _" u* V) Y9 F9 @Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. , g" G) f8 o) n3 I1 g$ V' F
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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0 ?4 U) R' i! C' V3 LIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. & [2 O3 U; A' k+ B3 x8 e6 |
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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+ x' o2 j1 E5 o6 ?* x. a, PGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. " s* `" W+ B$ I! A0 f1 m
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. " K8 T' B( U0 c* ]
; O* D! O- F! {3 f' F) wSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 2 n5 ?4 x( P# `/ q r6 U' k
# ~$ n6 D1 a& V: A* W% |7 AWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ; i! q# Y0 ?+ F9 R7 `$ D
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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! T0 l3 g- J* ?8 J G' k0 JAdmire wiener size in mirror again. + \1 e/ [" X7 }' J1 p# _
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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6 f2 N+ Y; @* p2 @, ~Throw wet towel on bed. % S4 b3 `- Q: @* g$ Y4 C9 L3 y* z
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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