鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 5 n+ Y4 t& E/ F0 I) Q8 M
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# z# ~5 J; ~& W. q9 }* g0 gTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.- a% G* q8 }- U/ C
- Z+ K% y) M" ^$ _& N2 GWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. : ~" d8 O( Y ~9 Q
/ M4 t0 p4 ` f( }+ h: UIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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/ S5 g+ H4 ^* x! GLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
3 J5 v, K& w+ @9 X& k* N+ ^5 J' J* Emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ' r, q2 S9 {+ N) N* A* N# W7 y" o
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 j- b6 p7 P& W
; K3 P: b7 i) }# {Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 ?' X# @- [$ t L
# F; @2 z: p0 z4 K8 q/ B' @Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 2 D. J/ N. m: K$ w% ` h% G. {
8 |7 n& b `8 N( m: t" ERinse conditioner off hair.7 @# |9 P( E3 |, n0 \8 {
' I! v! @/ l" f' |, \* RShave armpits and legs.
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- d% I. C* U+ H0 lTurn off shower.
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: F* T" Z* p2 ^8 c% _! X! TSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.! ~8 _4 g4 k4 V7 j- X
; ^- ^6 C* e) VSpray mold spots with Tilex.
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" v" I. W! S0 k8 xGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : ^" |$ K2 H, P6 }: m. a
: P" ^" n. D) V( H% X$ f7 u$ k% _5 L7 NWrap hair in super absorbent towel. a- H Z) H5 [. z2 u
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 |7 u# T: Z4 M# I1 gIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 6 B" o* B/ r% T2 B' |0 n
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: z/ X* q% Y+ v/ g
+ r) v# [% M+ m) s& RTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. # g& n, e2 P; ` ?& L0 E `8 V
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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0 [& G$ p' b$ l$ `! F& k' B% mIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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0 \4 E% @5 T) x% I7 r6 lLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
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3 m/ z- @0 e0 J! X C- {* T' p+ WAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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2 _6 q- Q2 l, ]$ m \$ wGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 8 G9 m& \9 ?9 H2 D
, N2 i. t* K: Z+ F' @- c$ l& C3 eBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ! ?- Z% D* ^* C7 i8 q4 x- x/ d6 [3 E
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. + P0 P1 G4 Y. i% l9 C/ T5 Z+ I6 ?
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee. $ a/ `7 C9 ?0 G/ m' s
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Rinse off and get out of shower. 4 A. ] Z5 ]6 d* D1 l& j
% l& N$ N5 f7 J! XPartially dry off.2 l+ D/ i9 s! N* M% g# u) [7 L
+ y: D0 e V. |/ u5 yFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. $ X* | L3 C$ X% G
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 1 k. b: @; H" B4 B# Q
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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+ q, c! S# K% t5 A- w+ @$ {Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ) A6 K; d3 @1 W) a/ y
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Throw wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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