 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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; Z0 C, O; c$ c2 dLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 Q% D9 p) I) h1 Xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.5 N: \- b- k8 h2 H1 u
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. / a1 |8 N6 A9 \6 D# [ U
8 E' H& w9 p' y5 M/ F5 cWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. : x0 I( F9 ?" l) w- h
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.; [/ @( l2 ?# }/ e! w
9 a8 x1 R4 v6 C2 T! ~7 u& ?& U8 F3 W {Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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9 n% s2 R1 W+ e/ Z& D; x6 QWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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' h) {: k8 l, K8 pRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.* L' d- X: M* `7 Q/ r
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.+ F7 O9 r9 S. ^: i! o a
8 ]5 o7 d: D8 z8 C. X" wSpray mold spots with Tilex. - o3 B, \2 p* g6 x
5 n5 J$ c# S$ c5 l4 vGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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+ `8 a& p% M. `0 J2 I- yReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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}" {: E& V% v- m/ `9 b' kIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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; _3 t6 S7 j) G) s& kTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom." A0 H3 F7 Z, g" x% Q& }9 g7 S
T, y$ g3 g% v/ M) yIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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9 Y8 O& a7 y1 l" t$ {& mAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 s7 U. S1 ?. k# U
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. ' r5 n3 Q$ q% }
6 W) Z; G& T1 F. O* i' QFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; q& q) S3 X) b8 J7 h7 g
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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0 Z4 V# a7 W9 f- e! XWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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: g2 U0 ^" O' M5 M" U2 x0 n) bWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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7 L& v! w& z% z; n/ {+ ]+ GPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. / U" j0 N0 `! c3 Q
5 r( p# s: a: W: b4 jAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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* s" F9 G9 p2 J4 x! r: TLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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2 G1 F& U4 a) \- _4 G K8 N: AReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. ' k& o9 @6 y& I0 L% v( d5 J6 m' e
( y7 R8 `( r7 V9 dIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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