 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ! T7 q9 x: N: ~; x( c
8 s( b7 @" k: z/ K- h; v+ X- T! ^# d" t: o; { U% C& f; a+ L" N
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------" R" U5 Z$ B4 @; d. l
# ~$ A6 T3 g& @, t
% Y7 O4 ?' C( _0 N' \) o1 b2 Z
$ Z6 S' E$ y$ C* r0 }1 B8 B
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.3 X' t# Q: m, l# p; i1 z" b% M3 O
! ?; z/ m* U0 J9 ] Y3 P1 _ r
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. 9 R; n: z3 T2 Y7 N8 k% g2 u
" P+ V/ Z" g, h8 UIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
2 Q0 `4 i* Q) Y* R7 r% d: J) T4 h5 Y0 @; D: H
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 5 w& I5 Q! V; @9 n! F0 M
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
1 Z N' J" H4 z- h- {# G8 w& Y" \4 g* M4 ~
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. + Z* O) t. F2 c& x, x9 }& N
* N% \4 _! C/ ?1 P
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
/ c% u/ G+ {/ a, m* K- u, D, L6 u. D& j: ]7 z* G2 [
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.# _) r: z4 \" Z4 b3 @
; ^# I% M- O2 B! m2 d
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..7 _: w8 o/ e0 e5 a" I# P
7 b% B% q, _7 {# L
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
- U% I3 ]0 f; g1 b- R% t- o1 O: Y! H# Z% @
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
& U- x& \- O5 P5 C0 s: u
) A! K9 N; [* ]% y C- ZRinse conditioner off hair.6 r/ v" B' K3 @- T0 d! C* z
( A1 m9 }) W9 u/ x' @Shave armpits and legs.
( [/ H. r9 @* M! o4 y7 l/ \: j: A7 ]# t% }
Turn off shower., S' Z4 B% i B. }* \( `
! F/ \7 r1 f" Y' n7 ?6 I
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( ]3 c* r1 A* k& ^$ R
1 W7 m* O; x$ d3 t3 Y- T$ l# d
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
/ ]7 l8 r/ m9 x$ g3 l5 I1 j2 H _/ A1 n2 n B
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ) \& j9 R5 ~' U- O
6 g: U$ z' a3 M5 E; lWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 R. n% F/ \1 O) R' E! v
* p6 {0 G+ V5 N% c1 n. p
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. / A" M; A) L: S6 R
% j. Q9 f+ V: u1 [; l6 s& ? u
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
) k7 b$ w' u; n% o9 P5 M4 L9 W) K7 b$ U3 ^: ^. E
& C% `) C6 @4 k- Y
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
$ @4 g4 F- S' r! M c: J9 r
9 W1 ~) g& X% a7 wTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 0 y& E% o: A# n( U" a
( p, C9 U3 V, K XWalk naked to the bathroom.
# P0 @: v: {5 B* _, g0 H0 U5 w8 ?; D: B2 E- E& j4 d
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
$ V. U1 M6 c! u/ Z" i' C
3 R, z( I% `, |( M% \4 |Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
( a( P: T- {1 B( i1 G8 D! z9 J) U, I; N& E
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
9 p% I" w* Q* h7 _- v8 y9 o' v* K6 g2 b
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
4 l$ v! h( |6 V u. D& `
& w1 b; M* `' m& B6 eBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
- {1 w" ?9 \( K- H! u' F4 y- [2 `- e) T a2 z
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. & k# f8 E# P4 ?
* u# ^" c0 w6 T0 mSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
# d$ F% U4 f" V) Z5 X; t1 G
* M+ S7 F+ x! G% {3 U$ G( DWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 1 U! N4 h* k L2 ~- P* b1 q8 y
* K7 z. o; W: {8 W: P
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
6 }9 f# A" Y8 @% i. I9 X3 W( l" {* i
1 D% W) s0 I2 Y7 B* V6 e8 ?Pee. 5 O7 d& j* `6 n! m8 H% O
+ K" z7 ]; q- k6 |5 @5 i \Rinse off and get out of shower.
# q3 m a6 K9 ]9 v! z$ T) A4 c- ]) }% Z. h) U9 G* u+ z Y
Partially dry off.
U% ~* P1 l& J3 p, A, s, T" W7 G( |3 k" A3 M$ O) |: G7 R
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. % Y$ W) \% _ g3 }6 n4 e \7 W; t
& A# L; t! l: A1 f
Admire wiener size in mirror again. / I- }, L6 ]. S! Z$ }
% a8 c; n" U1 z) a: X
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 1 y7 [! H- |1 a0 @% m
/ g$ u! D4 h: ]+ s+ e, I. q
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
$ w p/ U: U- y2 b) B( x
1 ~- r! J9 s0 l; |# _' L3 N/ UThrow wet towel on bed. 3 |" O8 f- X) Y) `7 D
! m# ^$ P7 @! Q- @( y. a& e
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
