 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.4 z& r" n F e5 j+ Z' K
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % }' m1 C- y2 @% Z1 v Q' u
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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C U1 ?0 X0 ~/ \Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
8 E2 P! x) q# a N/ Rmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.* I" \/ e5 N8 R3 N% C+ ^" [
! q& ^4 @6 M; ^4 }& u- b8 W. ^Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 7 ?6 Z3 F. E$ R5 i8 P; _: r
7 {3 `4 E6 I. J) V6 C8 qWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..! g! v/ [7 K$ v
" p c" ^; T- R& DWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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: w6 O. w7 v4 j$ JRinse conditioner off hair., B, g2 K3 W1 W5 T7 a) B( U5 a
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Shave armpits and legs.2 x& D8 W* k) t5 \. g
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Turn off shower., \6 R8 Q' f- L; K3 j
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. , b9 B8 }4 f( u" h# [
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. % _4 n7 r6 o- P# t8 I
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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l* ~* [ ^' @' U; }2 n7 CTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * R+ [2 G/ T. i6 O; t: K1 C f3 v
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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8 E5 r& @- o" E% m+ Z8 q9 Y- mIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 S6 \3 u" I; Q. d
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. p3 ^( ?" K8 d2 _$ h( r4 x5 Q
: p' Y1 i# r/ m* I$ O( kAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. % e1 ?1 V9 H5 g' _& y
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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( d9 ?$ k8 d% C" u* }Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : E. |0 \3 Z# t# y: m: t
6 O9 U3 b" e$ Q6 ~Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. : A& K; F1 y; x% _; u0 t& p
+ J2 m$ W3 b/ L6 mWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 5 \' d" J& \. B
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. # H) X* A" N. n8 U0 @2 \
0 j) Q$ \; e5 iPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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9 `) L9 I& H3 PPartially dry off.' c0 s3 O S1 y* f6 S
# R8 d7 _. _) g0 HFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 8 {. Z' N' g4 L; E* u5 G$ d8 M0 n7 S
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( m: L, ^+ }) F1 u" @9 B' ^3 d* c( l
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 5 ?) k) ^2 z8 L; {6 j. z" @; l
0 f; V- y/ J8 P/ N/ Q3 CReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. " o& j* ^$ M4 Z' ^! h
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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