 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
1 h+ e/ H+ z3 ~. D3 e) Y4 N1 E" g4 a( ?0 `6 K0 Y$ O* m% {1 U
$ [' [: \0 V; W8 l6 L# s, \' \
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------; `: A% X! C5 O% m; ?3 G7 ~) f; g% ^
3 q' c: f" m s3 z$ `) `
9 z" r4 m$ ]* j- a 5 K% p1 c7 b: J# S
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
: g+ Y: P7 u. c' C$ w
8 c- J' h6 @: Y6 ] bWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
3 B6 A) h7 X1 p5 C7 k0 _2 u: I: a, p+ j4 E
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
# s: j) q; F( Y5 ~% x% J M
2 [7 R; p: u: d: Z0 L: Z1 jLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
1 |0 |- |4 H [8 R3 v& Ymake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.# T* `4 g- J' r- W# U# h( e9 z2 l
$ S- r' w4 w/ y1 u8 H, U/ KGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
; Y9 ~- C* m7 w- A2 c9 d8 }- A4 D3 g( u( a: F# D0 J2 O( ]
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
; e- z t, K2 e7 g
1 M6 k7 H- p, Y! ~7 e9 jWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.' z2 Q: @- [6 Z3 s* A$ d
, F: O0 i8 N# L) L& {& v. FCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
% R7 K4 Q$ j2 y2 ? V
h# l, ~7 k8 M' |( T, vWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. , m. \0 B$ O" g* J) [8 M& N
4 ^3 d* L' v3 O, D, A, l0 KWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
' y+ H0 X! ~' d" ]0 X# L6 [1 _8 m: ?/ {( O: c
Rinse conditioner off hair., k' t+ N- J. m+ q
+ I" p: G( { o0 |& gShave armpits and legs.
# \- ?+ _4 D2 U- \
1 q" d( l, G* s8 VTurn off shower.
& w: } b9 h: K+ v+ T1 |
0 _% q/ K0 e7 \% E/ F0 aSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower., C* T9 h8 X3 @' G" g! C! W ~$ r
8 X; \, z6 V B2 tSpray mold spots with Tilex. 5 d9 e. w% t4 K1 u
- f2 D; D; Z+ \Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
& o6 j5 A* h# T8 [- u6 f, s) R: V1 w+ [
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ( F( F5 x5 k( W! ]4 j, p
+ [0 O7 U' ?' O/ R) l
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. ' `6 g- j8 U. E7 p( E, T0 t
4 z9 n/ V `2 [! f: F7 hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
1 o. G/ }0 @& m# G9 [) Y
8 {: a% v% ^5 Q" R, `& h2 K+ G/ \/ u: [. p! e2 v3 U2 ~9 B
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
~+ `6 w% k8 c2 I9 t0 b' ~
; A5 Z: D5 R0 F/ f' l- S; ?Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 6 C% c. t/ _+ A0 Q
5 A2 h( V% x2 s: D# O
Walk naked to the bathroom.
7 {4 I7 z; d3 B1 D0 V" D
/ N/ s+ z. y' x O/ p- h: Z+ iIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 4 T+ y* D4 d2 o+ Y
3 N2 |6 w0 T4 a, I) ~: q7 S) fLook at your manly physique in the mirror.
) b+ {; ~5 W$ @1 E" X* T& e* G
4 i) t& g) ~$ y# KAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
7 p7 D. b8 R# c0 h9 t5 @: ?* b, J9 u9 N3 H; }, X, i7 S
Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. 4 R$ ~6 d3 x; \+ [* B
- E1 F1 W( ?( b, N7 p# D& yBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
0 {: [% Z+ T; J
" n0 y5 i4 X9 o: w" l+ b1 ]Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
3 j% f0 f4 x' r7 Q3 O
& ?9 y1 V: S( W C9 P0 ]! vSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
0 e( `% v+ k/ E# T& `: C0 l; l: ]' p; G. p
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ( x( H& n2 x+ o" V* e H( H) ~ c
) O+ Q8 A z8 r$ R' L% s
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. # D( A, {* V5 o& T0 }: K
0 {0 f1 l5 I/ F, r5 u- v' f
Pee.
& X5 i* S0 o8 X" X4 f
; s7 T, l6 P% Z: X6 y8 L+ @Rinse off and get out of shower. 6 |- g) h- F1 c
" {2 Q5 k# L1 ~7 J) y' \ M3 O; _
Partially dry off.& Z& W; k* ~0 k' G. N
& h* R8 l" p* R
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
+ n$ F- r# G0 v. A4 V0 L. z4 X
$ W1 T: T1 `! l! Q( M/ e+ z+ jAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
+ L/ o: [) s* }7 U5 g0 Q0 j( s, W# r K6 T0 X1 x s+ u+ W
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ' o( ~: U7 p- y7 l) S m
7 D7 A- A/ ]- h$ T# @) B7 Q U( [8 J
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
6 e2 V. J( d4 \3 m V) r
0 n7 E x0 q, z6 p) k6 rThrow wet towel on bed. . N r) h8 W" k4 a) ?9 \
* k, C% x7 q+ U$ Z( P, N* Z" M: QIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|