鲜花( 1394) 鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.; v: v! z) ?$ W( P- O2 n. }# ~
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. % _) V, M( q; I& I+ `; v
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.2 p R% E _9 a: k; r
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
. ~3 |# Z( k) a: m8 Vmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. - m4 y7 B; b. S- a. i
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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. x* a7 c9 u7 ~/ @3 v7 h4 aWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ' F& @* z% z& j. _; M4 I
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. - s- S4 r& p! F; R6 C+ N
$ w( U7 P9 N, t4 ^* H; f" bRinse conditioner off hair.( F ]2 i6 l. N" D9 @: ~2 P
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower., B* R# H3 ^$ [7 }( U, n4 v0 x
* G) E# }8 k" w6 MSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 8 j$ X6 a+ N6 I0 I( E. j8 F
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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3 r: S% _! |# E1 r4 gReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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' J/ n9 l" n J9 @/ mIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 8 I( Z5 j5 \8 @
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 8 e5 {/ I) z7 g7 [5 l* e; i8 b
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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- A" w; o+ K. r$ |( R0 WWalk naked to the bathroom.6 n& U: \. p9 G* ^6 B
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. # P: C8 T! ~" o0 f3 E q
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & a E# \( l0 E/ A
1 m& Z/ k! F! C0 Q9 A. L k. |Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. & I; s0 T" h5 h: r) ?
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 5 I! @- L6 @ K# M' D' G# [
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. ; S- @- d. Y! z' I& ?- u
( j! l, Z' a& h: D' V2 r* _9 YWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. - q7 w! X& v, Z( p0 B8 W! u
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ; e2 b8 ]9 v. T' x a
1 P8 G6 t1 }: D5 H: @* O7 @% R, DLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. # Z! ^+ k9 u" G4 U. O
9 ?& [9 S6 N5 g. F# cReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. * o4 q% Q9 T- [% M
# E2 h+ Z5 t% f% E6 MIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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