Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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- v; Y* |, O" v1 j& ~8 N> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
1 S! K8 k- R7 K6 \) L: I> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
3 S; X$ L) p7 ~> > > >little TONY.
- s/ d, m: F5 {. ~! ?$ ]0 u  v> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
2 q& d- L; B* `* y7 M# y$ m; f$ M8 S. A> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
* V& N2 N: \% b) w1 P5 {! N>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
- E# f( p7 r1 s! ^: v9 n3 ^5 _>cream.
$ J, u7 t9 e! J9 v> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
2 R0 j1 j! e% D- i( A  {4 ?  e- N> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
6 x; S0 k4 B- I5 {> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
> > > >
4 k& c1 j0 y: w2 _! D> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
# H) [# c2 X, A> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
# k# u1 M3 P/ N6 K> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
% W" r8 d' R  _9 q0 V> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
2 x! U8 `( g; `* z> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
0 G' ~" n% N8 ^/ |> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
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> > > >
7 F, `# W9 y& N+ l* q1 [> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
8 S# `' t8 x" B* I. A> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
% {% o6 |* F9 f0 U> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
' M( P- |" Y+ _5 p6 q- [( ?> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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( l+ |: Z9 ~; t+ G, e7 y2 B> > > >
  x+ D2 A. W9 B4 J8 q; e> > > >
) ?- H. H4 {8 i; I3 k8 T> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
) `# P! H3 S& r% [7 ~9 [" u> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
4 L$ @' @. }( ~. _2 k  P5 Y/ T> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
/ b; r. \5 q" t/ }> > > >beautifully."
# Q( G( b: M8 b7 j- \# U> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
4 P7 c0 B. B1 N8 h> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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! q! J" R% I) n# ~" A# C* j> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
+ S, j3 D; [6 F! @& N# M> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business