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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
: K! u$ h7 _! ], N8 x& N; N2 ?8 U/ ZBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
" K# a3 \9 |' j' A3 i9 z% vBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
$ K* t  _& ~' F& l4 j0 Rand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 6 F0 n3 P) K+ q1 g. q! j. ~
flock, will you give me one?"
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& D# o7 x+ E1 \& o. G. a  \The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his $ B8 u$ ?8 \+ X5 _3 B- \
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 6 q9 M! E: W" L+ t  g
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
) S' i: k( \, @% h! qGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
2 E* c  M- Z) C$ \0 jand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
1 t! G, |- M( U7 ZBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out * l' N. m2 k8 f
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 8 e7 W: o: T0 s8 @$ g
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
5 @! s( X. a5 Y! L5 u7 I: P1 z8 y* g  c# g* N6 ?! M* e- r
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ' {% d9 L9 |* d! ?* ~

  v4 ^. v1 z2 I. g% I/ S3 ^0 }He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 6 Q3 D8 \$ a" W
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
0 T' k: c' m$ [1 A$ V7 Ois, will you give me back my animal?"
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( U5 n- M+ r+ ?9 p2 K"OK, why not" answered the young man.& y) ~/ d2 H8 z3 n1 T: _

+ l- p$ ?; p7 J1 B4 g* L# ?/ S"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. . e5 V: s2 y) G1 [7 {9 L
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
5 `: [* x0 a- Y" |nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a $ b( G8 Z: j# C1 `" {4 J/ P
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 5 d9 L- V- b8 f' `* ?& {
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
5 e3 U3 ^8 a4 U1 O; Y+ {undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
, ]: G3 q" y3 S) X: K$ i9 [Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
! i- h# g$ M1 {0 m$ A6 rmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ' Y6 B) O( |' u" \1 s
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
8 ?6 b  {0 B9 d# t; J2 f; u8 Rinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into # Z! [& @+ R: [3 K4 w8 q
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
) ]5 |7 S! `0 l% ]open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman # R. s. S2 x& P; P2 e! J$ @- W
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
+ ~, Z3 N) o/ nbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ) p) u) E: u! _+ p: D; b
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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0 M& d) F/ |0 z( c6 R* BThe first man married a nurse. ( j( t( ^. o+ O* f# m( u

$ _  k, @$ S* h1 J, X7 D( FDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
" d( w7 v4 c/ G5 DNurses are known to be hot to trot".
# I7 N( n  T- O7 }  T+ _
/ ]6 E5 |2 m) F1 H, h0 |9 X+ K7 b0 XThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. + c! M- j* |5 ]% y. L
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
( d8 s  W0 r6 C6 n5 Tbutton...A-bomb.?# H- I2 r' U% Z7 @9 W1 m8 e, S

5 g8 s  H6 E) AThe third man married a school teacher.
1 O" }( b# W5 _2 V. [8 Z7 L( e' Q: p5 Q
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
- @0 G* ]3 v/ Y, y' L+ Pbut teachers are just too frigid".) S. T0 V+ h+ q
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
7 A" E( K+ d0 \. M/ B7 M0 u8 f: Vonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ( z/ [# Q" G: h$ C0 [/ ]9 i
would call much later in the day.% J. W. y1 q1 R  J1 j9 f; B

* Y6 c6 F  T# c2 P6 }/ O. wAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The / h$ c, h! \$ i0 u% `$ y
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
0 P! d( L; q* e, T- b2 Epajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. & T& F3 I" u0 e- O
* ?( Q6 `- `' _3 |  H/ @* l- P+ t
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 7 }2 w# ~0 L: H0 j/ d( K* \" J
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.$ e( e; R' T, |5 y, @& o* ]5 Y

( r/ M% n/ C4 w4 p& h  SThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 5 r# {# n* h0 K; K1 A
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
3 G* ^0 s6 _7 ~7 `2 ~in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
3 k# h: Z" k5 C0 \3 B$ I: B! o% J4 w
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
# M) l6 f4 Y6 Q8 ?' L& Itheir voices."
6 }5 @0 h" u7 U$ m) M$ P* ^' s- e2 O$ h- J& Z
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I " Z0 }3 }& R  f
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
; B* E: l: j" ~! pthree minutes are up." ' j! q+ x! h' F2 {: ~
% w# _- x5 N* C2 B3 \, Z( u
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
; V. @$ f3 L+ @4 Q& scalling any minute.
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* d5 }& z; B. r( CFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.; y* E, F, ?" p

! H/ ]2 V' J2 U5 l8 ?8 bDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 4 J+ p" H" C& O# e
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 3 E7 r' P5 h" Z- @3 {) [
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and # f( j: G8 \' N+ S
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
" b' P* d5 A. t! v$ v* P" S( dfight?"
7 F) H- o5 @# S6 v
6 ?  r1 ^! W, s' yThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
9 E) H3 x7 f0 P& c! z& }- L! l1 y8 ea school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
# z2 f" |0 x$ V" fare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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