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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new # h5 Y0 Y8 `. k& G( X
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a ; ^. ]- Q/ s) l0 X; g6 _9 c0 N
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
" ~6 s5 [8 t7 G  O  ?+ c0 w+ Wand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
5 @& e" W% F: I  b) W' }flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
% Q; J" P* Z8 R; _' e4 k: vpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."/ }0 }: E  M( v& m- u2 ]# q& S! N' @# |

5 C5 T8 K" ~# T5 @$ ~The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
7 x6 _( L/ J1 b4 q) O# Ycell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
  F. U& H* z* hGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 0 A/ A) X+ P' H
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
) B" A+ [- F" W! V* ?" Z- eBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
+ S* c# F9 X$ e% A5 Va 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
; @/ S$ Z. q9 l+ Csays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".2 N0 I% s# z3 @* [

) {0 [+ q( Y+ S"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
7 }+ ]2 f% c1 w% n2 H7 Y& v, }+ `" U% {8 ?- n
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his + @! u, X3 P$ _% {
car.
2 h) X# H+ Q" E4 S* e8 v$ c/ l
  g6 D1 N7 M1 \Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
4 A& u6 o* {& Q9 A0 eis, will you give me back my animal?"
4 d6 Q! {, s* c& ~: [$ [) Q
2 @0 |" B- j) U"OK, why not" answered the young man.& Q! l$ b$ ]1 P" T$ z

6 `5 w* f1 N: M, R, Z$ l  ["Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although - l, y6 t; g8 |3 W
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
* D1 ~0 z7 u9 q) z/ Lquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 0 [( G4 i7 t3 J; u1 r" b: k$ l
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 4 u; ~6 c5 @$ G2 T: f
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 0 O  L+ b; U( s' @" v
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
) [( T+ J, B$ |* u* @! F& `moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
  Q* m% C2 e! k2 V: l( kwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 2 y; ^1 j; t1 D1 X: w
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
, u5 |6 e1 E) ]/ }$ h9 F, A2 k0 Lher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was # Q; \+ c) d( X" f% x
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman # |( G- b" k0 e) S: _/ X% A
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
1 \4 N* _3 h$ |' D( E) Pbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
1 U3 l6 y  @6 a1 B( k7 h* Dwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 4 k) ]+ j7 ~" P' m

. G- R/ v1 v2 ^6 WThe first man married a nurse.
4 A8 J& k0 B8 j+ b% ~  [" r& H; R4 `# X4 L2 q
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
* G$ f8 b( ]" VNurses are known to be hot to trot".& }0 I& i7 a5 `

8 x. y/ {( h+ s3 Y$ a$ L2 ZThe second man married a telephone operator.
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# [1 F0 r+ m$ j; }4 vDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 5 `9 }+ `+ g! }: _9 P/ b
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
! }6 l$ q1 c  k$ k! W9 C; R' c4 bbutton...A-bomb.?2 D) {% P+ A8 u- V2 W) R: F7 e

# b1 @; U8 k: D1 x1 o  J, R  eThe third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty & x: t+ N8 S6 A9 B
but teachers are just too frigid".
( O5 ?$ U8 A. B1 p- N/ r9 R. P! g: w
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
1 @4 R$ j) V' |: L; Konly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two & e- [9 ?4 T  s# R, y5 h# Z
would call much later in the day.
7 G+ V4 }8 S  l( N# i8 @- u
( @$ f8 q. v' XAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
$ e1 U- b$ H% K7 l* D4 o8 H) ^nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
7 D0 v# t& P8 d- b9 p/ Xpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
9 n, D# M* M/ D3 L$ |7 O4 |4 m( d7 R' Q5 c$ L9 z
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.. R2 U% B. w+ {! E/ F
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
: _7 C+ ^( |7 d8 `was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."( z4 U* K8 N4 k& |+ ^$ u) Y) P

0 u( a# s0 G1 R  O1 M  n* T2 o; y  aAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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5 g5 W+ L! f) f7 U% mThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
7 d' `' q/ j1 r1 Z% Bas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back   W, x7 n, s9 N9 q) N
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
: h: i* l; C, z( X4 k9 f( _7 {. @/ v0 U: ?
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
$ \) T& T& H5 Q/ x+ E% F, Itheir voices."
7 x) B- s* h8 E1 q; I/ o$ C" e" S% t- \! d+ }
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
# k* ^' l- W4 f$ z  n$ Pheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
2 |5 Z) U" d; |three minutes are up." " Q5 ]' f3 [+ S5 ~
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be . P4 \: d) `8 u! ]; K$ u
calling any minute.
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/ w& r% v: x  C9 C' B4 ?; B5 }- WFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.) r' M# |4 d: }) D: y! w

& }- k. M; \% U5 E% N3 A+ PDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 8 @5 z9 t7 f% K
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
+ ?9 c$ U$ \5 E3 I3 u* }. uhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and " E% T' \4 Q& F* G
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 6 `5 Z! E% g4 C2 N6 `+ g
fight?" 5 N6 C1 X. M7 e! y) W

& u' b3 A5 ~1 QThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry + {* V) K6 X& Y+ T) C
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
8 J( ?4 e8 s4 ~- M( J4 iare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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