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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new $ p5 e+ o- J2 x5 a; g" Y0 u
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 3 s* x3 s9 }/ N! O) l8 Y
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ; q. {9 |0 f3 e7 P
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 8 G& N; h  z5 Y- p; w/ q
flock, will you give me one?"7 B( S  Q* M% g: S0 N% f0 n
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his # J, e) z' G: x. n; w, H* k
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
7 |6 E. w' @( }7 ?cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 1 Z) \- i5 ~, _* L9 a# o/ M8 f/ T
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database   G: z, Z: z& D3 J! t9 h* o4 x
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his / K9 H& u+ U# S8 ~
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 2 e' ~# j" a: a/ p& P
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
% ~4 q0 z4 v( W8 d6 ^says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".- c3 X; C* r/ {& g" X1 f' k. J

8 M. R1 |; I- `  G0 D$ Q  ^  v" ?"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his % [  T" F# U! a# o$ X. N. F
car.; n" c/ }. `: A8 g7 v2 H! Y# F2 W5 ?

# I. c; v9 E9 J3 qThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 6 u& K6 Z5 d, g) y' `# }2 |5 W
is, will you give me back my animal?"7 Q7 K7 v, Q7 X/ X7 k" v. P: ^

' X& [9 }' n6 g% c" |! Z' Y"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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! B- D! f( l! T) L/ {- y* D, n9 f"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.   I! D# @6 W: V/ \
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"  _$ r/ ]* h0 C+ L
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
% s) e  E( E6 inobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
. }; I4 c, }$ `" L2 B( c" Z) U# R# [8 Fquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
! W. m3 C3 `6 I1 D2 q1 }% A' ^me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
0 l  k) k9 r- C2 Fundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
% {+ F, ~1 ?' `: `Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
! P0 p( H& k" h" j5 c% T6 x9 w3 Xmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 1 h' W" s: }. o- W+ r9 X
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran & i: b6 C) |% x! u7 D+ U
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
" I6 X2 b# v. x8 k! _her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
6 _6 g5 x- t  P) w% o  \) xopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
9 R, Z/ G* g# A6 q3 sresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 6 A5 y$ \0 V$ o1 I* p" {5 c! V
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 2 L, s& t& [2 _* z. D
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. + ~) Q! h6 G/ a2 ^3 L( w
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The first man married a nurse. ; G+ v! n8 f0 _9 e6 c3 ]

9 [$ v- b. |1 e6 d! }, s9 D* [$ \Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
! [; j4 ]) q7 }2 G4 KNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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' X# q% K$ P' g% a1 xThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 9 y0 v# |  s$ D0 D
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
4 d2 w2 X" W2 E. z9 ^button...A-bomb.?
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8 g! ~0 U. K$ G# A& jThe third man married a school teacher.
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( U0 a4 l9 q5 X6 v! X! s1 yDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty " F8 a7 C2 L# u! m
but teachers are just too frigid".* p6 T/ f% X3 H* n  y& h, P
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected $ C7 @0 a$ O( g' m
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 4 }* O5 }3 t* h0 g6 B6 W
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 1 \& c! {4 o; T# y% Y  H
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
4 N- T+ i0 u0 J3 N/ H4 jpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 7 Y& ^: Z( n6 ]2 T
& f1 ]& D; k2 X( k. i9 @
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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/ x  j3 H# ?7 K6 zThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 0 z) H& n1 h" i, Z+ g% r% ]
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.0 a- q9 _! v3 `& D7 Y

( B" o  V8 C, [5 L* C6 l* zThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
; w* N  T& |# gas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back . O. ]. u# O; v5 x1 R7 \- x8 Y
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed./ H) n8 b+ F2 \  a. D
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as   A3 Z) e: L# J7 L, w$ }
their voices." # C# B' V' h7 a7 N5 g( Y

3 Y! e; u" M1 bThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
6 ^, b; i- }% F% uheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 2 x# i/ z' p3 Z: r- U; U* l: i
three minutes are up." % S8 Z6 W8 }0 w( A8 M# [
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
, G1 S8 V7 B( E  n' xcalling any minute.7 p0 X5 O, P  k: V) N0 o7 n
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.) V& d' P, Y% N7 Y# q% g
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 8 o: @# }- [/ s4 E
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 6 [: ^7 u8 z% C8 D$ u
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and $ d2 K- Z& i7 `1 r. _* G( Y
legs.1 G) R% N& K! j$ V

. r! r0 j" h8 ?) I; rJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a " [1 a/ T# B" T- @6 e8 S, V
fight?"
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4 X/ \: g6 _; R1 c9 M6 ~* M# e3 xThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry - E* ^" K& O( C( }1 q
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
  @# j) j  N! k  yare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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