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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 3 }: L2 W8 S; g9 _1 F+ N
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a " r, p* A# f5 a% C8 A3 M
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
; h8 j# x0 s5 Q) A3 Zand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
  a( A5 z1 K$ c" q9 fflock, will you give me one?"& J3 F& }9 @! h! M. b
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 1 N. F  j* ]$ q  \& m
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."3 c9 F- z- C6 Z" @+ A$ r* m0 W( ~

; h- `2 c! X9 K0 M, a. i# t4 c; ?The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ( S# x. ?* H; R- P1 u) ~& C
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
' `' s* a- \; PGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
  A2 W/ C5 k* w% ?2 \5 q  P9 kand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his & a  t- C6 t5 s+ ]6 i* ^6 I
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
1 U& `' Z5 {1 Oa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
$ O9 b3 \! ~2 w+ x5 lsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".& R0 x& s; e; [" H; ]" O0 c
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business : k% C( j3 V; m9 C
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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8 J( A7 k7 Q7 @; V  h9 s% P' F4 j4 S"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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9 E$ t* p2 q6 g- p"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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7 P8 P# s8 A- a" n! \0 U# y"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ' N. g7 x4 |; f9 F
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ( Z# Z, I( j3 k) _
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ! e' A- A9 h& o  {" w- w' @2 n
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
) N, ?, c/ ~! R, R- P' d. D9 Bundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". : L; C  @; v7 d4 F* t1 G8 c
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 3 w3 t% x( n, A
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
3 S4 V% U; G% b/ jwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran + L* A9 P9 w% `+ G: E. P+ A
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
$ w+ q7 }7 S& B+ c# aher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
" v3 ?- ?) |2 J% Q+ q5 c- \9 _/ lopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
$ q! @+ K* }4 W: }% O2 p8 I0 }3 eresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle & W, q* U7 h1 s2 P
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 9 p( P' G! X. l3 Z# A% Q% w; R3 u
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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" J7 o( g& c6 |4 n- |; Q6 L2 ^: FThe first man married a nurse.
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+ Y; |8 V5 N# K+ b& y9 t5 xDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
( R6 D7 \( m* ENurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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$ Q) L, i* R% X6 ^8 @2 jDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 0 y* r5 d+ E5 k5 a' q. }0 O
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
. e2 b% b2 ]! {8 ~3 T5 ?; Vbutton...A-bomb.?
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4 C" j* j5 j3 V; x# t. l, V; MThe third man married a school teacher. & p$ p; ]3 J4 J" x5 m5 _6 W0 ?

" J5 E) V% e6 [" U3 l+ j1 O% TDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty - u* o* ~9 [3 e8 B! V
but teachers are just too frigid".: X) a* l1 g  u+ ?! M( {- \+ d$ `
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected - i6 s" f4 y/ }" r' U& y
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
) X* x3 _7 `0 K& i4 \would call much later in the day.
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8 Q& F1 k" R3 p5 ?. a: M' gAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
5 L. d$ {5 H4 x  p$ znurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 3 d- `+ i, [/ s
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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* M/ u6 R5 O4 t" oDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.0 R6 _$ d1 j. s" O7 |

) _/ T$ ?  x0 @- |. E1 Z' N* AThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
2 V0 u% v7 q8 J5 p6 ewas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.' u( W# Y6 m2 [$ k' e1 H+ v
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast + `1 q0 J3 z. F. `
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
+ s: f: ?; c' U8 p+ \* f$ rin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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. b, k' _$ }, L7 kDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ; v* H7 K; E" _. X. A. y' R1 N
their voices."
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* M. k# G# ~2 i. QThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I $ n9 W) r% R$ N& _) Z/ K0 H
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
/ p9 b% x( f) v5 u# Mthree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 9 V6 t3 h! i! I: A9 Z: P. n
calling any minute.3 f+ V( z- U" ?' r' R
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
/ I" C5 q7 }0 j7 y# f% S7 A- eman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
' x; ~( J* L' q7 y* h7 Whis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
* B7 R$ x% s9 C% M9 ?; ]! Tlegs.* B/ G8 b# m7 z+ g% I+ y
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
6 p; {; Y8 r& Q* F4 K9 rfight?"
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  D0 P" Z0 V6 ^' NThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
" e0 G% N* n( |/ h# Y3 r$ ja school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We - b# K3 `  S  W9 _
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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