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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ) q* P  K! \  o" M
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a $ |8 I: c2 _/ A' u
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
3 J* a+ o& ?* Y+ vand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 8 e0 c1 h; Z5 h5 W& c
flock, will you give me one?"  _( ~5 ^( V4 A3 V  j9 g

7 b* V. `8 t( y: l5 ?/ U  t. }The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his . J: @8 g) J  f
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
3 {( L4 q4 w$ O# q9 M% Y8 A6 A% E/ \! K8 E1 U; k, h2 V& H2 r& o  J
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
' K" e4 {$ B; |9 ]7 n3 Qcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
! i# [! j& L$ L! U- U5 jGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
6 n# [+ [0 L6 gand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his + d0 k+ @1 w$ t2 H
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 0 K) _% B% Z! t- m4 p- g
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 0 C4 U! s  j  S  ?9 D& p' m
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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; K- c: g, O; \/ y0 p. x& O' lHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his / j' M' l$ N4 t: C. c9 w3 p
car.+ l; x$ A3 K! ^0 @) w) @: s

8 V% g9 e# V( ~! Y0 P5 sThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business   o/ D. R, m, {. b* c( g, e6 k
is, will you give me back my animal?"" [% H1 {. @3 F; S

$ Q, ^/ ~( s# V8 L* H"OK, why not" answered the young man.
8 F; y4 G( {5 k* g+ z" E' B3 \1 L7 f8 F+ |- [+ {" z9 B! ?8 z7 y; _$ J
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 5 r- ~! x: H, Y1 w: @1 j& {7 I

- ?4 j7 \( T2 C( X) F0 D"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"" H# e8 ~3 x. ~0 ]2 n* D
& K8 B3 a# K8 b. ]2 Y- H9 N, A4 a
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
7 K& c9 Z: z  d+ e3 Pnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a + A" u  G0 |- o: l" E
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
* H4 N% @, D9 O% F& sme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is / M: O( }2 ]% z. L3 Q6 u; e8 W
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". " d3 \3 {8 w( ?1 q4 a! v9 F
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
# G6 {, f  o1 j# ], f& dmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
; U/ s& A: I0 |! a/ zwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 7 f+ R5 E1 g4 O# z/ l5 B
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into , t$ f. ?+ m; l, {
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was & D+ d. s4 Q! w2 X! P
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
% B) q; t7 t, x1 xresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle * P3 R7 Y3 W7 u
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
1 N- f( ~8 G9 lwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 0 A! G2 K. x+ a
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The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 6 Z" w6 i8 m$ O, t5 U, e
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".5 B$ C  T+ W1 p/ J) E$ V- ]1 v1 B
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The second man married a telephone operator. ' l4 F; ^$ |$ |& \2 y" c* V6 u( W

0 l8 R  M/ M6 d/ }' ?% n  c& qDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ; ]9 `  r, j8 Q# ]5 `( ~, k
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
" Q& ]' L1 S9 `8 Mbutton...A-bomb.?
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- S' R; A9 M" o+ y. N) @' HThe third man married a school teacher. / S2 R9 o! `# }+ U( z/ `, u" W. m

* h/ z) w6 b+ H- R! y0 I. f8 LDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty ) O0 f4 Z+ m* O) J3 D7 c
but teachers are just too frigid".3 V2 J7 J. T2 {9 z! g+ a
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 0 z& O: N* ^. K
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
, k; N1 v: w5 `+ o) F8 ?would call much later in the day.
) M1 f1 N9 m. e4 Q' J0 {
0 D8 d3 m- T) E) Z) J+ @At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ( A: W( u' I9 J/ P! O% t$ \! t
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 9 r( _0 j4 M% r! n. C
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 8 W9 t# x# X& e2 C4 j8 B! r

8 F4 D1 |% I* U3 U% y# [Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.# n. R2 o$ O' j  M7 P
( h* P4 Z8 B! u) a
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
- O: ?/ O5 S1 S3 |was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
/ q9 w4 g7 V. Z- S7 g3 Q' |
# @4 B. v% V5 a7 a6 gThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast $ R% f: D6 |+ r/ x7 \( g3 r. g
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 1 j, X( C1 @3 Z; G+ @9 X
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
+ P8 c' W( [& A0 V, M6 z: X0 ]/ n9 h+ f6 w  T7 m% @* I
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
4 h% B# r+ z, U, stheir voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
5 V: R% b, H; a4 q* N" Iheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
( U6 a, w/ {$ _three minutes are up." 5 S3 U. O7 l2 @
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be ) n8 @/ E3 m: R- L' X% x# k! S
calling any minute.
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: S6 ~+ k+ @% ~+ e3 s: h! YFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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. F; c1 Z7 k% W) ZDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ) h7 [2 n* D, S" [) |% B
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
* E3 `* D* R* j) Bhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
6 P8 S2 ?  n: Wlegs.
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# R. F; K1 z' d9 F1 |3 RJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
  n8 D' ]! }) H3 {& I" q/ N# Sfight?" # P( x: b% ~! h- ?* \4 q

  `# S7 m) M' N  nThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 3 t% _8 S( B$ p6 J5 A! S' E
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ( q! v; N; w0 X8 S4 \/ W
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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