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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
0 W5 X! ?1 B) ~  c& H5 y# q, GBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
( a$ \; s5 y/ X8 k: qBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
% h! _" u5 [* b$ Z2 tand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your # G& V- g7 g9 k; @/ X; n
flock, will you give me one?"* M1 Q2 z- z: k& L& I

6 L$ P" w- U1 `( V7 \7 aThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
* R" M5 G9 n8 O9 T0 |+ qpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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2 D! j8 X* \4 ~- g% ^The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a # ^# ]  \" u8 C* a5 Z) S
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a - T; e' m; m# y# {, W
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 3 j0 T  n$ b) v
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
: b; x9 K/ H3 s0 j: bBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 5 }# N* X  Y  J. p, q7 ?  k
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
; s" K$ W- ?) V6 L7 Fsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".9 r2 H/ V- c# t9 W7 H1 t, J

# \5 J/ H( W* a7 y% o( K9 `"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
+ n/ q, R& `  w: C# j# i# s4 a4 f) M4 J% E% y) e" \
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 7 s8 t4 B8 ]! s" N3 A
car.
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: W) T8 o0 u" A) g8 I7 I$ O" cThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business ! {$ ?. ?7 |+ N" M. Q2 o
is, will you give me back my animal?"
% |5 [4 T: N) N8 e
6 m7 p; S: u+ M5 a4 N7 ?* f; x"OK, why not" answered the young man.9 q- |+ U' b8 S
# S6 X/ j/ U# i; u6 l
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. / _: A0 E% X4 @8 Y( d8 f4 i

9 w1 C; J# t8 d; H) ]"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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! R9 H: i% a, {* h6 l"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although / ~$ {7 G& W6 O
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a " F- H% |( f3 k$ t
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give + I: Z! M; k2 @
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is + A8 r1 p' f  E& m
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 5 [4 ^/ h% `* I% W; k$ t
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
( p: v' Z, ~9 i/ h* E2 }! @" Smoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
  O, `. e4 B  zwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
& ^* n9 ?) a7 [- e# }( \$ A9 K$ Linto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
6 x7 j0 T) w  v: \; hher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
: M: r  D3 Z! Jopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
9 i7 k( p& q# l/ h4 T3 S! ]responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle - |6 K/ |3 A( H; t8 n# L. q0 K
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
8 k! b% D- S$ @# ^6 dwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 1 c% K) i' u' G$ f: j! ~, l, P
2 Q. Y0 B0 v" o
The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
2 [# P# W' o! T6 _5 JNurses are known to be hot to trot".2 j+ ^' N1 h5 U9 j! W1 Y9 F

8 b' s! f0 I% B. U8 O2 I6 {The second man married a telephone operator.
$ H- x2 c, G, n# U1 e, w# `' }9 [: v4 y  F
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. % Q( Q( J( F- x7 }
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
5 R" o6 K; I% k6 g/ V  _3 Ubutton...A-bomb.?
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9 m# g7 u$ H, R0 _The third man married a school teacher.
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- T) Q; j+ y% K- q0 x+ bDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty   g" X0 ?# J0 N) d
but teachers are just too frigid"., e- m( Y& i5 h; e  e4 m, v
. D& {  M4 ^# A7 B
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 9 Z; M  G$ C5 @9 g, I% c/ V1 t% A
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two " u9 ]& B2 o+ M: i
would call much later in the day.
- ?8 T+ P4 o0 i% c1 r$ ]& e% E
$ z# J" Q; b/ i6 cAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
/ a' i$ ]  _, K5 k/ Cnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ; V8 l: b& v; y! s$ [6 D
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. - ]4 J& ]4 F# a3 @8 G9 o
1 B6 A5 {& D+ ~- Q
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
/ ]; X% Q- T6 j8 E4 J, _: h/ @( V8 Z9 m, r- V2 f- N# I1 l
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
. Z" i  k) Z6 |$ o. k  B' k0 O. }0 Twas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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4 V) A3 M3 J& R& l9 ^At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast ! x: I5 \. ]& i, m  c
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
! Y8 d' h4 H' i5 u% Min shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
1 W9 `0 f9 l# o. _: D$ |% n* P# f7 }  s5 U
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
8 F; G8 i  \9 \/ u9 ]% v2 ytheir voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
8 a* Y9 U% |  G6 @heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your & h  @8 G8 u! n8 K6 ~) h! |
three minutes are up."
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( L! ~8 g1 B4 ~' V( JDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be / ]2 [9 {1 \9 N+ j' Z' C
calling any minute.
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  D2 _( F' U* A* c7 NFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.9 {7 h- T$ ^+ j0 t, `- K! p
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The + |* ]3 v' Q6 c! M
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
; l! Q& C% U! uhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
6 R/ h6 K/ ?" s8 ]/ slegs.+ M  {/ y2 G1 Q0 n3 z" _
8 I: s1 S2 W' @. v& Z% S6 ^1 U3 B/ d
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
% C# D2 {; ?. V5 n6 }0 Mfight?"
  s$ h4 P+ A6 c
* r: Y. i9 d3 S/ cThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry " z' E( K4 {5 ^; i2 Z( y
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
7 Q0 f8 c+ F- s5 r9 q2 Hare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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