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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
1 A7 w# H. X2 x. k9 D( o7 ?BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
* O3 P8 y' n) k7 ]8 c& d; ~5 Q; yBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window , ]! ^1 e- D0 S! L# |, O6 Z
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 2 m: Z/ [+ G" D
flock, will you give me one?"
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+ ~& J( z% d% s& V1 {; WThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
$ l2 C" \& r3 S7 F! D; ]  h1 speacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."- q! r" t- g; O+ p9 c% V
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
! Z0 I$ }$ p% l9 t' U; E# F' dcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a   g( r! f2 F# \) @' Q4 t% Z
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database   a, ]; S$ i: Z$ Y, P
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
8 ^8 b" x3 K2 p* N8 @Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
  k8 u. R% ~" v1 {/ C; Ga 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and . m  ]3 o* C; e4 c9 Z* g4 f
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".9 [' e% w8 ]8 C! y3 J4 y

( n! }1 {' y% X1 u( e"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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. {2 Z; J" m+ S1 @5 V! pHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 8 Q$ |2 x; D. @
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business * T! ?9 K7 B% V2 `1 P
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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4 z6 R2 Q% w4 M: x"OK, why not" answered the young man.. {( E' ?& j" ~4 v4 d* Z

- V2 b& Z$ f& I# Y8 C"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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  F9 n# d: Z2 T"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"9 i! i& w9 ~" f( N5 R3 ^& Z3 m
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
! i; o1 u9 |6 G% ^& B, v  g! i/ anobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
  [3 D0 j* z0 h6 U9 |$ equestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
) j# v1 U& t; ?% G0 M" Ame back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ! [1 Q) t$ {& w
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
* ^0 i5 D, J7 n1 Z) v* {Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
  y0 e' @# T0 O  j2 mmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
0 y* w: C, F+ }) owas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 4 ^: h7 a/ ]$ q8 e
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into / |& x2 v; ~3 g- G$ m0 J; V9 {
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 4 o) D3 F4 Y# z7 W
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 5 t3 ?8 q- J6 `! z  _3 A2 G- W; N$ S
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
# H8 P, ?8 F% N. Fbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
' E* c; h. c! Q8 m* swhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ; m; R0 g/ ~1 a! E' Q" U: S9 y* W! V9 M
, s( d. O; }; d
The first man married a nurse. " S( t( Z5 W" Y" N. [8 D

) u$ d& P9 N. v$ T; q. D+ M; ^Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ' X: H2 g, ~. v3 O
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".- G0 \" j8 p8 A. O, I

  C) p/ X9 N8 G' M7 @The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 8 |9 h" G  a+ j" s
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 7 M2 M  k  j" X/ Y" B* L- E
button...A-bomb.?
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0 i- i4 L0 S3 i+ tThe third man married a school teacher. 7 G+ B! }) l: E/ a, {' \
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty : q) b4 p9 ~% K7 M0 X  P
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected % E1 f2 j9 n4 b' _
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
; D* i; v  H4 _* k, I/ Ewould call much later in the day.. f+ _# o: u  m, y

3 g6 E) o) F( s- I# HAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
4 a) L; J7 w( o( ]3 Y# V8 Rnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
8 t5 M7 ?* e2 o1 V- L0 R0 ipajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
3 a1 A+ r3 u+ G3 Q
+ D, T* j7 W; I- |  ~! `Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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# b) y# l2 [: ZThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
+ a$ I" i* A0 I. N5 z/ Jwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
2 @) A: ^! |2 F0 E+ r/ A) K4 K, F
0 a( P5 M, e% Z- [- w3 _At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 0 Q: N8 b8 K* @- R
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back * z: e% m- `" N9 y5 H7 \
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
  z' X! A' ?$ l1 o, Q; h6 v; B; k- A1 p) N+ ]" K5 S, K7 e
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ! L  |4 [1 H1 b+ P- o  F* D7 s8 O
their voices." / a. l, h5 R: m  t
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I + S2 L9 R& b+ v6 R2 K
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 1 P. ~, l6 ^; y- G
three minutes are up." % n3 _! d% S) G9 j

4 W, C( N8 {$ J4 f$ `$ iDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
1 p5 A: c8 d8 Qcalling any minute.
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- y0 ~. T4 g2 p/ YFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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4 o* O6 S. ^7 J" Z2 n, JDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
' _' D+ p' t/ Xman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 3 Y) N. y  W, V. N! c; Y
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
4 N- |1 I( h$ J7 h; {legs.2 _% z& Z1 m# M( s) Y& d
% Z8 H3 ]  [8 |9 j8 Y
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a . ?9 S2 H+ b7 e) n+ l6 U, }
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
4 y) u$ m2 U! s1 W, `( Ia school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We * {+ P2 @! E8 ~( p  Y
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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