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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
6 q8 B4 b7 w; F8 C( i9 Q! _. W% `0 UBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
6 m' j/ g0 O# B. L" T( Y- f0 eBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window # Y' u0 q9 `, o" S6 q9 S5 C; [
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your - m. q: c5 ~9 o: r: h2 G( D
flock, will you give me one?"
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0 q9 Q1 A- U* `2 Z6 l/ v( N" _8 LThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
& u9 D% W! p" {1 m# @4 ~peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."7 R: a. g5 I# X6 t, g
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
9 b& F% J% p3 L" W# ^cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
4 z2 c' J* @1 u- y" ^  n2 |& s1 \GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 1 }* }7 T- `2 A
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
# _9 F9 _+ R( ~8 A6 rBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
$ a5 B8 \/ d! [) B6 ?$ qa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
9 k$ c4 Q" I* z2 d7 n$ i; jsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".3 p$ L3 V% {) m) D- O$ u& _
& w3 [. p- ~# S) N7 `: F+ k
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 2 C) f$ i8 q( \, J& J# ?

! a! N1 A% O4 |: N) E. r% }# SHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 6 S$ q  M% b8 V2 r! z; b
car.% @) b2 d( m+ W8 Q
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
, I7 s2 E7 v8 J# Bis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.1 E& g9 H* i  Q: @
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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! i  c: G2 ^/ q/ N, I  p"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"/ a3 u; v$ P2 z: \
6 W1 Z$ e8 h7 R6 i( U, m: }
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
6 [% B( Z3 S9 @nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a   J' S* W5 C& V1 ^: }
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ! r, p% q! ]; k2 P3 f* Q# s* z
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
3 n4 V7 Z  V2 D$ N" uundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
, b' ~2 {  |/ dNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 1 U$ G3 v4 v9 d5 F6 C5 j8 x
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper # i3 ?, p5 T+ f
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 6 d8 @/ ?% r, q* e; U/ W
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into # p6 Q, ~# s) {% a" u
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 7 g5 W* R. z: j; ?8 z5 g! L
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 1 b4 i$ v9 a$ P6 U; Q
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
# i9 G+ ?5 x4 q/ r6 \1 Qbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
6 R! S3 R. L# W7 }5 B1 y+ o) [where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 0 j' y" M) u4 F' T7 L, @0 h" T

  I" ^  L: f0 S/ r4 e" ^The first man married a nurse. 2 f8 b* T; h! l/ o2 c5 k

# m3 \# X: _1 [* q4 }6 F' YDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
/ n# w$ i- }: r, A) w! @7 nNurses are known to be hot to trot".
8 x  j6 Q3 e3 R4 c7 a+ e& Q" z) @
3 C' H8 _, z0 u2 LThe second man married a telephone operator. & C, I& Y. D4 S* D. G
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 3 x  x. \+ D0 Z4 C8 K$ `: |% ~
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 3 J  }; [0 L" q& Q( t6 h% ~( I& Z
button...A-bomb.?6 J+ R+ h, J( ^1 C2 O8 n
. ?, T+ Q2 o. @! Y# F# e  i9 X
The third man married a school teacher.
6 [8 P2 Z# k7 S6 f6 \6 ?2 j+ c7 C) M- ~8 Q8 h2 H1 E
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
: S2 }2 y. ^2 p: [( h  {! A+ T/ Zbut teachers are just too frigid".- [& y% ^9 t+ z# u; O1 X$ q, T) @
; M3 o: J" m7 g0 R5 S$ N$ i
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected ; c4 l  ?" |! ~* c! `8 c
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two / t, D4 S/ r/ c. ?/ W* }5 h
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The + V3 Z/ U6 q# |" I* c6 H1 O
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
5 T( P/ P: u! `) v# }pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 4 [* i5 y" [% s4 U+ t4 Y0 [
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."5 _; Y7 I' b, E' d  x) h- f* h7 p
+ s. d! C: C0 [5 o! h
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.0 H/ J0 I" b% j% l
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast ( s0 M% \$ e$ n7 R! e" a
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 2 @- J; `& [8 p  H' J6 Q9 z  v5 O
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.; D8 q! v0 A4 f; r( G4 m% o
4 j; c" x$ `* g4 o
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as / V7 J$ h* L5 J# I8 `3 t
their voices." / [+ m* U+ V1 u; r( t# u

2 I) z$ U5 Q- b) ?+ D# t- kThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 8 Q9 e5 f/ k' V7 x1 {
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 4 v/ w  ~# @4 G
three minutes are up." & ~8 B3 N8 G! s1 x

7 B; }! {2 }3 U0 a$ E% d& X& F8 Y: fDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 3 f; @" c0 n; V2 e
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.; e3 C. r6 x9 g( T' S
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 0 o' e  Y! w* `7 X1 u
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only " m9 D# k" {1 \3 ^3 Z' S
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 3 }% u' w9 l- a; e9 \  R
legs.1 _9 t4 ^: r1 X3 v1 E+ w: Z9 {
5 r% L0 D" j0 o$ [
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
% T9 @/ t+ H( l% F% o7 Y9 Yfight?" 2 Y2 V4 i. v! m! r

, S7 j  K2 ^+ j9 P; W& c) }. jThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry / Z4 |4 {& W5 O5 h7 F. c6 l
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We * R9 j- [4 J( I% w! ]7 Q
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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