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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 1 r7 w: ~) Y% g' q4 B
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
4 ?* S6 w. p3 V+ K" pBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window / t( T2 i' ^( r
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
; v4 w# V& p1 k6 k# w! d; pflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
8 N( Q  Z8 f0 g+ |8 Ppeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a # _3 P9 S$ T7 I
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
. f6 M- U5 ~6 q1 ]GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database . k  [, C* _( |2 O6 \. N
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ' @) e4 j7 G8 ]
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ( e! O5 K& Q/ o0 l& o9 f
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and " Q6 k) k; K2 N+ X1 G
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".  {( B9 z: o0 d" D! E

0 k5 ?6 t& X6 u"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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2 A5 w% i* `. m* X& uHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 0 `: I% n) U7 n6 Z2 v2 }+ b
car.
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/ A( \% e# g5 j7 C5 O+ e6 sThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business * ?- ^- C' K8 @6 `2 E
is, will you give me back my animal?"0 f" F8 G7 g& ?4 X

. W; \* d/ `! w- ~: D% B9 l"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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1 j2 M* C/ `. F* m+ V- {"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although   K( n6 H  j# r1 C: c0 L
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
4 t. s' T5 |# ~+ E7 Q: Rquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
! \: V1 j. G' F; i! q4 g$ Ame back my dog".
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
0 C2 O2 `: g) j  I# }undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
6 q& Z1 r) f6 oNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
. u* @5 b  L1 ~* Wmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
! j9 O9 a6 J6 X3 z1 k2 qwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
% Y" g" D+ ^8 ?/ m/ d- pinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
% q+ H/ L3 E% H  eher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
# W; Q5 w+ H$ r4 D& N8 popen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 F8 p3 r. J/ e6 k, }" I1 {
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 8 Q: x' h8 f+ S) ?! I* X6 J( {
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
) ^- A. G3 @! I5 V" Hwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ' b7 t  n' ?+ k% c: I( y
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The first man married a nurse.
7 K4 k8 ~) ^  z2 D2 r$ z, P% O9 k/ d. q  `( _6 k5 r
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. . o3 ^3 Z( g6 X
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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" J( ^3 d0 v4 E5 p3 M' }5 `! ^The second man married a telephone operator. / H. Z8 X0 D# V% Q) N
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
. y5 V1 K. j6 y0 K1 M' _" kTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
0 Z5 _9 Z8 e  U, w( n$ ~1 U0 q& Obutton...A-bomb.?5 y: d. _" A- {2 T6 T
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The third man married a school teacher. 0 Y2 A7 C* i, h4 D+ y8 F7 k! `
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty - X: C7 |* u; S# W, T
but teachers are just too frigid".  r( b) P9 s1 w; h

7 L9 U  F! G' WThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 4 @- @; A- M+ m4 w
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two   j- ]+ D+ _5 E: h
would call much later in the day.! D( e8 m3 q! z$ H$ ]
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
1 J% [3 O# p4 s+ dnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ' Q- F5 J5 }+ A: y& B
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. * Y* U! B$ k# q1 I5 e

8 T) ]- m1 J! h7 l# x3 UDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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4 q# Y* `% s  T8 S* b# d/ x2 MThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
1 B" F; R, I5 I; Dwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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' s2 z" n5 }6 T6 a7 V8 D$ j  |: xAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.9 m* \9 l3 `2 Q, ~' H! l* K6 \
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast ' {3 |. Z6 k4 b6 E! j: {
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
* K1 v3 y8 d! rin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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) v) }% |; J% E* X; `& G% TDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
  V* A4 G- o( P% i& ?their voices." 4 W. b/ g1 U& }: r, L
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I " s& X: d# q& p, E( H1 K
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
/ ^% A. j, a/ h4 `. U1 K1 vthree minutes are up."
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; N0 t1 s+ I' f" A! o$ Y- r0 GDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
( B5 _, G& F( u" }1 V' A/ ^$ J1 Ocalling any minute., Y) a$ {5 i$ |1 o/ H, @/ }
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.- K0 t' C- W; d3 N" P

! s* Y& g, w9 {. F9 `0 }Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 2 N: J' a; j- O
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
- M/ d2 ?$ X+ x' S0 ~7 k; Zhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
1 \4 H! \4 i( B5 X' D  _legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
9 [( I  o' m. L" c) Pfight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry + T. Z% a5 u: h) b% B; m
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
/ t2 \0 h3 F( k) ?$ x+ Dare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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