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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ( L2 S* K9 s5 {5 C5 O0 J! ]. ?* G
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
: B/ S, G: e* I% |2 Q" X& _Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window & ?3 ~" x9 G3 b' w& ^
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ( @( B: c4 k# d8 x* f- Q4 g
flock, will you give me one?"! j: G1 Z, v2 N2 K

$ C' B$ D) k! E7 V) Y8 R, yThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
8 L/ X; z: k) K! G  @% Speacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."+ u, @3 E+ y, N2 I2 \* j2 s

, }5 `5 ?$ ?' U* L/ t+ E0 TThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 8 R# S2 N1 i8 q; _- X
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
% D; q5 `$ ^7 q% I! TGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 5 d) N3 Q$ S. k; r" q
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 6 o! \6 P$ t9 b- d
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
' \5 ]! Z% L/ Aa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 5 ~0 z) A) E7 F
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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$ a1 Z+ ]% d; l3 y"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 4 \1 f: S6 A! Z, O/ J9 l/ h
car.# }( G; |% H( J$ I& {& x5 I* ?
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business ' [( p) ]4 P+ l% ]4 P
is, will you give me back my animal?", `+ z8 C! N% K% Q6 }" `

: e8 R5 Y- S! Q  ?/ L: p( I7 Q"OK, why not" answered the young man.; b- _- W+ h8 Z9 {3 n3 p

+ i% j6 U3 [/ ~* L"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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/ A( W. x, |* k"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although " K! f: X/ O6 a, g) N: Y
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 5 S& z. a& H/ ?4 S$ m! H6 v# X9 Z
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give % X, P" \5 s( J5 ^; f, R# i' H8 P
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
" r4 ]0 _! `. U. xundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
+ H* |# K% [) @0 SNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
7 B  S( \, C7 Omoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
% S/ A1 N5 P7 F7 S# E6 o/ nwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran " p* a' l; w1 P# y! \! P' L% m( b
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 9 v% `- R% q( a: |
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
( u6 H+ U! `/ |+ J  v# d) F$ p0 S  ropen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
0 u1 K) C1 L+ kresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle # B& h+ i( w& \- h. r" j6 V) ]
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, - ]. G7 L8 }* Y% M, B4 f/ p
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. * j% |$ k1 g( Z4 K7 U

$ c# z/ E* R4 d6 P$ I) k2 AThe first man married a nurse. 8 @+ [9 A$ ^! C
' L8 h8 i- h7 [$ F2 k# e# J
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
) ^" B1 R, l) `" A$ u# fNurses are known to be hot to trot".- A' f6 @. U9 x$ M
5 U% ^" `1 ^2 [
The second man married a telephone operator.
( u7 F) O/ G, J0 E6 d2 M! C& _6 m" X% E: P5 u4 @
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 3 R2 m9 q( L6 E/ d! x
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
, P; R- Y2 {5 Ybutton...A-bomb.?4 k( Z* x! Q- G  R' y. j2 n% H
' g1 ?  U4 m; Q4 J# E  F/ v# e! K
The third man married a school teacher.
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( \9 k. r) M- fDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
) J6 v$ ^, O' y3 i1 hbut teachers are just too frigid".
8 F! D# F( x! V$ V1 v% ~9 X
6 B1 r$ I0 m# FThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected ; Y: i  I& ?9 \/ F6 D6 g4 y
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two , @6 H; ]- ^/ y6 `8 d9 y
would call much later in the day.6 N- q; h, ]# d6 D9 q9 x
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
  b. l! T" r; D2 ?; Inurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's # K# T6 @" y+ k$ w( E
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
' E1 k1 X, }& r7 J6 @4 Q; `
! @. q# ]% J: ODave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.  M8 G& Q" V$ A, t' H% Q1 K
: X" \! T3 ?: Y
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
* j5 i( I9 t. K2 D. [( Qwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."  U. q4 g8 Y+ Z% X- s

. x! Q# j' b* \. R4 I5 |, L- H" MAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.4 x8 p, |, I( |$ G9 m
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast : Z) @' S# T/ ~
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back   n1 W5 j5 }3 J2 k, j: u+ M
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.; r' d* J# g, ]( C
" T. \, u! _5 p1 t# V4 t; x, X
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
1 V' {: W5 |9 S& R7 Wtheir voices." & }( q4 Q  r( r9 o9 x

3 _1 P5 R  d( KThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I & s% D" f. w& L( L* p
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
. h$ l" y4 Y6 z# l. N% Dthree minutes are up." 5 g; E, T8 S2 S4 R1 O) z: t9 h; ]( _

5 L+ c; n; p. |' M3 \% B/ yDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be $ H! E" R& y  p$ v6 a' T
calling any minute.
" ]/ X2 l! r3 ~# ^
9 a& S- t( ~9 J" B0 S/ T; WFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast./ m7 U6 I0 j0 X5 ?$ Q; L1 X
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ! S. n/ q, E. `, ~3 Z
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 1 W* {' h& o; i$ [. B0 f5 X' q
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
' t# W3 f# V; h& u+ jlegs.
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) D# v! B0 @8 \7 x6 a: I3 u9 ZJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a $ k+ H0 p% x8 q% ]3 P
fight?"
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' O$ X/ V0 o* K# c- t: ]The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry - g; N9 K# f; j- @
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We % f+ Z4 E3 ]# g# y
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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