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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ' q1 C6 O8 Q7 Y' r* X7 b% `$ o
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a : L! s5 w6 ~5 h0 o* |
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ) c+ g, X+ F! y6 a3 _
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ; }$ C3 b6 m5 R- s  I& c( o8 y9 p
flock, will you give me one?"0 q5 K8 Q7 R- W" u2 e

# o8 O7 ]7 S% zThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his * |, _. c8 A6 ]( W
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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0 |0 a! @" y8 ^  ^# O' Y+ M' YThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a . z5 [& z1 [1 e- [
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a " ^+ l: I6 \2 e, N# H
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
+ L7 I# i; V& hand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
9 X& p0 \! g) v+ e' n% Y! o8 [Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
/ C/ _/ l) V9 X1 }( i" na 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
3 }; q. c2 ^) h# Qsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".$ ^7 s/ Z& [+ `, l4 t

, a0 o3 y. ?1 }- a* D3 i"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. % ?. w8 z( u+ G$ ]" j4 \( V

5 }/ T; Z( o' Q' K, o( DHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his , c$ d# j& _' s% M5 Y/ ?9 D" d) I- F
car.- I0 ?: d4 x- f. v: s- u

4 n* g2 Z- A3 c3 BThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business ( m2 X  i  I; p# F1 Z- q
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man., u3 Q/ A% X1 {7 x
( i8 g- s9 ~8 d  W8 {7 B# [
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"9 O2 j$ L; w' ?2 a. b6 |% Y& J& }
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 4 }5 I. {+ h2 g) D4 G4 l5 |# N9 N
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 3 }+ j* X9 H) }1 l- B) l
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give " d+ W$ `/ V) o: W
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 6 A; u* Z% T. W0 B# Y  Y2 x2 \
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
+ [' ?: h+ L+ H' u: i! H7 Q7 lNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
2 L; |8 a6 H$ P1 }' K8 vmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
/ ^- M3 X  Z( x  `! cwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran + L" }1 p$ Q& J: w3 ~! @9 r/ W& A
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
/ C9 q4 C0 ^7 T* Pher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
0 ~- d& C  X# d1 k' }7 o+ {. W' sopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 2 K- o- Z" ]+ E, @
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
" m8 ]( K: C/ _! ^bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
: ]1 X1 [) s+ @4 Kwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. / B! Y  C, M3 k" ]& n8 u! N
+ n4 i* [, Z8 g' _: l
The first man married a nurse.
+ u% h; Q1 X# @% ^  u( U- N1 P3 b8 e
  u/ u  M, f' |4 dDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
, T8 h5 b5 h" t1 cNurses are known to be hot to trot".
: {  d$ I0 y; t1 A/ j% \
6 l% M9 M* h. e% BThe second man married a telephone operator.
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% L  [) K. Y, T+ Z, fDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
; n) Z' |5 c! @& yTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ) \" ]9 ]( l3 S! Q
button...A-bomb.?1 G/ `8 M+ W) W" B

& `- ?$ o. Q% s) d% VThe third man married a school teacher.
/ d! j. f, C! i& ]3 W  X' K6 }
( m/ |' p" o& n! F$ U0 VDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty $ G+ ?  |8 F) Q( ]- f) o3 v0 j' ^
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
0 S3 I  \$ |, R, \) A) ^! Aonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
  F/ b) x3 N! Swould call much later in the day., N  o" E8 K1 O/ {2 u  j. ]8 ?
. C& [# h' ~( U% w2 n, s6 c
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The * `! g& Z3 t/ \# x1 Z. Z5 d' `
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's , z  i3 k7 z- g1 e& f! p
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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/ n8 N6 Y) R  Y/ i% s+ f, UDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
+ g- l9 a1 R6 b5 D
% ]" [$ f5 J, ^" X) w* BThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
! U' W/ O' r! m% s  I+ uwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."& o/ k, J# l8 x5 m

; K! K; D4 v6 H9 E& T  VAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
9 y, V8 j; u- Q5 }3 q6 `2 J: }; A  f# I! S& E! f9 a) c
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 0 J3 k: N" z! [' ?
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
) y; G) H# O% N' \3 z$ vin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
: ]9 k% D- O# ~+ S# Y5 _6 y$ m
6 g. q) O0 o) K/ T$ h+ C& m; MDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
& C* Y2 j' j: z, p  q" Dtheir voices."
8 A/ _9 f0 h- ?' f# k8 b0 }2 q6 Y+ ?" c) `1 E( L; j
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
( t# L$ J1 J. _9 z- z& F+ Uheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your : c1 J1 c  c) |' e3 d; t
three minutes are up." 5 {9 p3 I9 m/ S' `, w+ u2 `$ `
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be # X9 `- a. |9 V, Q% B3 L6 M. Y
calling any minute.5 j; [$ N0 C9 @' Z8 c. T

/ x: O: c; n1 B9 @3 DFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.( B9 z+ w% L3 N# K
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
! R, O, E1 C3 P# s. {( _6 Tman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 5 O* I( d2 ]( v) M
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
2 B+ d6 f; m1 `4 d% Blegs.0 y' ~! k" H# z' k( ]- T( [- K1 @

9 E1 b/ E, _" N7 \# _6 w* q2 F, _Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a . z, L  z" s! k2 w
fight?" " {2 R, N2 @4 U" P  X* Y0 Z
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
& N  {0 w3 y" D9 X3 Ga school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We & g7 m- @6 u- k
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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