埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4679|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new $ n$ ?2 _) k% l; @7 |
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
. i  D/ i& V4 V# k- o2 OBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 6 p7 v% @: T( ~+ Y: s1 S, p' H
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
: r9 S8 r6 m, G' u4 U! O8 vflock, will you give me one?"
" b( ]- d, F! c$ u# U; T9 ^9 N+ ~7 j0 h' b
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his * e* `$ A: n& e# E6 D
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."" I9 T; r2 `7 A* ~  V8 X9 y
  a0 V0 e$ M" s0 p3 `
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 0 H  P* q- _/ T: M
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a * B" c' C9 b  z3 h2 m, Y9 z! W: }9 v, P
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
( U+ ~6 h: }  f( H; G" Z: _and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
" l5 ], e2 G/ HBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
( Q* D: ^' ?! j# t/ R# |  X! Y- [a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and . u4 c& w2 V' o. [! i$ w  D. T8 D
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".7 @7 m9 N1 d7 l4 |7 v' \. C
/ g9 O6 r) ^- |# G. ?- m
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. , f' p" y+ }( Q1 m! {- G+ R
# {8 Z5 N/ e* a6 p! c/ _; L/ C
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
- Z+ ~/ `2 F, ?$ k8 C# ^car.
" M9 ^/ L/ J. s. N: T0 N
/ q: M2 o$ _& n4 B- eThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business : {1 T! u5 g" ~
is, will you give me back my animal?"
# w4 u" R7 p- U' L/ t% ~% v% C* a- x
+ A; J* E1 _3 s0 \4 j"OK, why not" answered the young man.
2 i5 \* }& D: T+ q
! w1 I" L3 x2 p$ t" Q"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
# P7 T6 `2 n% Q7 z5 K: A, j+ [5 L; W2 a5 p. g& R
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?", A8 W: j! W$ f7 K

3 C9 e' F4 P: C1 t7 |! a5 u"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
$ Y" w4 Q# k- W8 E( wnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
1 V) U+ `( [) m6 F6 v  Nquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
" O* U3 a7 |9 U/ Jme back my dog".
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
* q4 p" I; X% j+ F2 Sundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ' K# c4 B, R3 S! n
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 6 B6 N; Y5 o+ f  _9 Q; W  a5 z% I
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
' I; _7 c9 B$ S- I3 Xwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 6 j8 y% R* }# U
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
/ I, L  k0 _4 @7 N8 P1 _+ {6 z1 Kher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
, A5 p% n" H5 Q; r% [open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman , ?4 {5 ^' c  M
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
1 L: U$ d4 v) F& |bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
3 W7 r3 R, r( k* r* {. [, P8 Y. hwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ( i* g" e6 L; |2 y

' N4 d- N) k7 {% ^, |The first man married a nurse.
4 O0 Y$ y! u* e9 `3 g& _- W2 d& n/ i+ `8 x# M: _8 }" O
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 1 ]8 n& w* \( J5 V6 O  [4 _+ j
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".' Q  w# A$ ^; V% u/ d0 U
) r) z* x2 p4 ~5 p5 ]
The second man married a telephone operator. 5 X. p- r9 D; {5 S8 t5 ]9 U
" a* z  L) ]0 _4 H8 {7 D3 Z
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
4 ~! ~6 b# P' f# PTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
7 Q2 c9 k, M, b  v$ K/ g% w  |button...A-bomb.?% Z% i0 R4 a" f4 |  {% m9 M

1 M% S9 t/ A1 A9 rThe third man married a school teacher. $ S# a- R" G( m/ @! ]3 G' \

4 t, Q$ i3 s; F0 `/ F) J4 k9 Z. LDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 7 A; u/ Y, E1 h% Z; A& E
but teachers are just too frigid".
( _6 t+ Q9 N) O1 N0 N: j6 d, K  z7 j% J. D: C
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
' L9 W" U7 _: N; U- H; p5 @/ A4 vonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 3 A9 v; [5 ]9 g$ x
would call much later in the day.( v5 \9 Q  b& c) L5 b  Q

9 R# A% a- h! n- h: m) ~% K& ZAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 0 j( I. h/ Q5 n1 G8 i* R" w
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's + b( b8 S! v  b# L, O
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
' u" u) Y% }5 y& d  S. x% ^5 H; k* A- a. y& I; m/ u( o
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
9 ^9 r8 S% T$ p$ h
$ D$ }3 R" `- B# L/ WThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night * a1 ]4 |8 C& B" s) Z# c$ ^, a  B; Y1 P
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary.") |. C) W9 G: l& U+ ^/ h5 Q: ^

$ X! Z$ ]6 x) t' E7 x3 PAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.% i9 Z9 G9 @' o2 A9 p5 n

2 Z8 k  G+ a% I9 J  h7 g" |; T# EThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
2 s6 d! b; r- bas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
/ e& \; d4 ?2 X* K* Tin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.' N6 K  A& Z$ [0 M
# b+ c; Z1 e" ?7 D" i6 d
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
$ r  N$ x8 w9 Q0 atheir voices." 1 ^  Q( E  f( k

, F# I; E/ l. E1 R1 j+ s# j  @3 ?The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I & }, R8 R: M7 r1 [
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
' t8 {- T: w( Ethree minutes are up." 1 Q* i) O- H1 I6 @
0 [+ [0 C# M7 }( B  }
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be & z0 U9 f' I" I
calling any minute.
! V* P( f/ H' c# R+ n# N5 `7 E6 I3 V8 c
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
+ d) [" s# b# L. h4 ]* r1 l# P* k) u( E9 M6 ]
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ; [5 S  |4 d3 u7 Q
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only ' B. [9 C- c! w- L1 X7 K9 f  {
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and ! u% C5 V# [& ?. Q( X$ j
legs.
1 p5 d3 k; _4 u2 r/ R: l8 J* @* x" ?( b- v  Q  F
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 6 B$ ~6 R1 O, Q( g  o# b- |
fight?"
3 E( J7 q! _) [$ U5 R8 M& m9 g3 J
, L4 O2 E$ E! {& F3 aThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry + f4 o; n3 z. F+ Y; ~$ J4 a: j
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
( p# `# A# N' Y) {% Gare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-2-4 00:40 , Processed in 0.066344 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表