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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ( L$ i7 |0 {/ e
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a & s5 _- b8 h2 E9 u/ H$ W
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 3 S& H$ R6 V  f. [
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 0 V; L) @5 y/ Z( R' P
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
) ]& w, U  I$ P2 t* H+ C7 @peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."' }7 N2 y& {' ]
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
) }: Q- Q7 u' A8 `3 wcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a " ~; o1 E& h. m
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
) K! P/ e* @5 L0 W- t- Y2 W2 O, ]and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
$ I  ^% P8 A0 v( w* ]  y4 H6 MBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
" S; _! Y  \. A, [0 b0 S! Sa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 8 f4 o/ b0 l; R
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
3 z4 V5 K/ J: _) O- r. a" U$ Jcar.9 l+ e/ C, E9 o" `+ r7 O
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 1 Y5 w8 x8 [! s& m$ _! a7 M3 T3 e6 K
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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6 k! b8 \2 h! m% J: [" `6 ?) n! W+ S# ~"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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! J: ~8 ^9 J2 ~7 E: \8 A8 G"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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+ ^7 a4 L9 _# p6 v"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
: u4 r" C, N9 X2 }, P7 gnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
: g( \# E7 c, W; f, ~$ Rquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 4 j5 @9 g+ {/ S
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 8 p: h9 D$ a0 M+ d
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 6 p# i5 F# k1 g6 F0 }, a2 q9 r
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 6 c9 O& l$ V/ V! ^
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
% u1 N  ?- K/ ?. t2 }2 rwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 1 w0 a1 d3 D5 U: U
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into : i9 k" n* A" ~1 Q. h) C( t6 q) r
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 4 [  f; z  y; X9 ~- C, }
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman : l, a+ {4 T) j/ ^
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle , B. I+ K8 j8 A
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
: F5 n, i! q" S" F! qwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. ; y7 y% [; ~' Q4 ^

. h* [. C- O! K( Z+ h, P+ J$ \Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
3 L; Z" E# j- E+ S8 B! j8 WNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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$ K$ I, A* B" ^3 K+ I/ nDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
0 ]) Q1 U* o0 w0 W, l& h4 ZTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
! ~1 N0 T/ z1 R& [3 M5 Ibutton...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. 8 [. U1 `! F& a, D: _' _

" E$ f5 A- |% g) A0 u6 C# V& |Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 4 r( I+ I9 {. l, g
but teachers are just too frigid".; O2 r6 N$ K; ~4 D6 t4 G$ p  }. C4 p7 U
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected " q; b) m. Q9 ]' U- ~; d; g/ {) Q
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
" \3 }1 M$ e  a: R6 Z* H; Y0 H& Owould call much later in the day.' t6 T% b# x3 j( t) |0 g  {

+ D8 F& a; \, ?" h* y2 q/ WAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The % j7 Y; ]/ t9 `
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
8 p5 B7 V+ v$ v8 X+ ?* spajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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2 {7 F* O+ a5 p5 M5 w4 ?Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night # v1 ~- e" T, }: R, l
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."! x' `" H" V# [) n0 D+ }! g1 Z3 u

7 c; ~0 c. z- u9 r0 A; K  N0 ^At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.: j; H$ q6 P. P' r
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
' v" _4 x' n1 @" yas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
+ X( e. V' ^' {. b) G$ j- w6 Rin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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" }7 n% X: e1 l' d+ gDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 1 B( U/ F9 x# k
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
$ N8 ]6 U6 R) sheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
% @% [, y8 d" \three minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be , u8 l- V4 E- d3 `3 I8 w$ h  [' w
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.5 B- K' F4 L. T: |
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
& K4 q8 C  m! U/ h" pman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
+ y1 L! A+ f7 j0 \his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 2 k! a* u: I; J7 i; s
legs.3 E- t6 R; u( `
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
; I- _+ l2 E2 h# N% Tfight?" 8 @; ~: G2 x& Z# m4 ]- [% ^% @

0 ~" T) J# e$ |- sThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
  _* Y7 M( p1 Za school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We , y0 |2 }! N) k5 A5 Q9 @
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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