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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 1 }  m4 T; T0 |/ D
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
: B; @/ ~. ?. x( L: p+ YBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 9 H1 h+ P" i+ d
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your & Y, E! X2 o9 }
flock, will you give me one?"' {1 g4 @; Q2 L- B, ?$ E8 u
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his ; ?8 d- @, i9 q1 E: n
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."! W) C! z/ q" N* q* l

7 y- m6 {2 E/ Y% W0 V0 ^The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
2 R( ~, ^8 v; y- X3 @, A+ ^cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
+ b+ l. P8 V9 Z) @* B/ BGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
$ U0 i. b. B7 Z& C: uand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his + b3 J, M3 [- C. q+ n  u' M
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ) g3 `7 P+ E. a' l
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 4 y' Q9 j. k# G+ M5 G8 Z5 {
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".) N) x8 {# v+ i6 A  f

3 U8 y) u/ _/ H3 j" ["That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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4 C. L8 U4 q! S5 r6 T8 yHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
+ [3 V3 L% h7 [# |3 `  k* scar.
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# t0 J3 D" c' c- K3 RThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
4 b- n, y" n# K3 tis, will you give me back my animal?") k2 t' H7 _$ e
3 U) B3 F+ ^7 Y0 k
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 0 N8 Z7 I2 p$ J. v9 D
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 2 j% K1 s5 P4 r& l+ k
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a # L' U7 `3 K5 D# O$ `* j
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
, z  u! i& p( e0 Q) Qme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
2 n7 K8 W0 A- i( J! p  s6 J: A+ {: Iundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
# g7 t1 n. X1 h( x+ _Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 4 x* H1 g" s7 Q; {7 u
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper , L; F; ?8 D0 i3 W" w
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
$ I- M2 U! f& `+ ainto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 5 x7 a; S: b, G, o7 H% ^4 |3 w
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was   m& x+ T; E0 G6 k/ v
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 Q+ r+ M  G5 ~- O$ K5 i
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
  g% C7 k7 r: S0 E) |bags"
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, / g% _6 B8 p& l/ z# d+ _/ x
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 7 Z. ]) y. c& p. Y

) b0 d" v* j- G* s9 a- oThe first man married a nurse. 2 \' W9 Q3 P3 j/ r% K' h3 y6 `) e; J

( C$ v0 X! r; F1 jDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.   V3 f0 F& g5 c. X- d
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".$ j: D: Q: M0 ~6 f. l* B. w
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The second man married a telephone operator. $ y. l5 T9 f, ^. M

7 m) N6 T% ?1 \* ^Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 7 a, h0 J! P; g
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
3 J! ^& e: s/ o$ n  @+ qbutton...A-bomb.?# `9 _6 e( Z) j5 w1 b2 {+ K

3 I# `6 M& G& |$ e% n! a' tThe third man married a school teacher.
$ }8 M) d/ M. D8 v
1 x3 Y( v) R  gDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
. u" y3 _: S6 Tbut teachers are just too frigid".
" Y6 m. {( m9 d0 X$ J" ?* p8 X% T4 M- T4 e3 A/ O. j; |. A# q0 ~9 b
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected   Q0 p( k% L9 g; d" F4 ]8 A: B2 M
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
. o( x% A6 V( \+ B6 ?would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
- m0 x! ]- F$ K$ _& E5 bnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
" a; F" ?3 \, g: W* b' ipajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
8 t) N* v3 `; R4 g6 E1 h2 H
6 @% l; w( I/ j6 f4 |4 j2 HDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse." Z' ]) F0 b* C& `# Y* J# e* _

% k5 t, _2 p& }  X+ S9 s$ NThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 2 C4 o; l, K1 i* {( @; X
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.4 w1 A7 J  r+ k% ]. P* i' F
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 9 m* Q0 n+ j; w$ g
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 0 P8 r0 s4 t8 p" G' g: X& L
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
$ g/ o& |' [  f& v, }/ T) J$ E$ A/ R. d3 }3 ~9 n$ y# i0 Q7 Q
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as , Q, n" ?( }# o8 K( ~' E3 Y
their voices." $ e7 o( U6 `+ t- p$ u9 x

7 i1 w3 T6 |2 g3 b* p  yThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 8 `  A% {$ P) J3 f, B
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your / H# Z1 X* o. q3 K% y2 `3 @5 Y
three minutes are up." ; g' g; ~. Y2 Z9 ~

2 o/ _5 c5 e0 TDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 6 A% W, V* l0 `  T0 G- b* }
calling any minute.6 U+ s9 L$ X7 Q  g( q3 x- k4 K) \4 }0 `' [9 G

( P  L5 R& s5 eFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.. D2 k. M& o5 f$ ]8 C. y$ @# ?
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 5 T8 F! }5 c. ?0 D9 F8 p' d, K
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
1 c2 i1 |  T) m: u; }his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
  T3 t  b1 I8 m% R+ z: O8 e6 wlegs.3 |1 ^$ @/ C8 Y
. |% S6 T9 Y  U" [) y
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
5 I. y- l+ f' n! x6 A9 b* yfight?"
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. u" a8 |$ C1 J6 g4 J+ |The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
7 B$ }  }7 h. O+ g$ s! na school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
4 H" \7 d2 i/ b6 `are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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