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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
' m5 O) R: t/ q( q' N" O' S; sBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
9 s$ k" s' Y( \5 [; PBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
5 S4 i! ?6 E9 q' @: q$ yand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
  b; ?! K& [4 Y9 I2 jflock, will you give me one?"
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# h# u! y$ }- X* kThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
/ x& R8 S# L4 |; i. Upeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
6 L; j" H9 q  i: dcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
9 r0 N! X) {% i) |/ J6 b; \) rGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ( p( U& e' A# c4 ?- g. l- C* \0 |
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ' V5 V' r7 B& _0 @, |
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ( S7 p( b6 e8 ^, u0 o, R2 V
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and ) V4 y8 f7 \& u, g4 R2 m, `4 O. r
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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. _* n3 n- ?9 j8 ^. k"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. , k' M& b! w( v9 v7 }; W% Z
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his $ x: A4 Q& B9 y% u  Q$ i5 w
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 2 a  ]' c# w' K) h$ R
is, will you give me back my animal?"" S+ [2 W9 h1 H+ O6 H
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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: h- o. S1 _$ \  ]) E3 v"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 2 f7 h# w6 A. D+ \3 U- h9 _* c, Z
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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9 ?$ I& S1 I( X7 P: V0 W5 s"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
$ a$ M8 O  U# a2 F- lnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
3 D/ b( \5 T9 equestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ( l% l% x* r4 q0 k& j3 O$ d
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ) v" ?2 ?9 R2 R$ j/ w
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
& [% I: m" d) g' E2 U) T  `Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ) c" ]+ o" I1 C+ z' g' r. Q! h; Q
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper , h, h' s2 J  H/ ?5 r/ Z
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
& C( s2 p; C9 {4 N! Linto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
: F( I4 ]. g* j' K( M9 S2 Sher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
# E, C9 Y# B# r8 p/ }# S4 dopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
' i/ j* n0 r- `: K2 H! zresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 3 ?7 L  z7 K) J  `8 V
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
5 o1 a: I/ W6 L/ I8 L. A, A, i6 bwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. , H# x8 I# d! C& s$ H
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The first man married a nurse.
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% M& ^! f( X" O9 t$ `0 Q5 N1 [Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ) T( B% Q5 Q! g. }3 Z$ O  q, \
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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2 q% |' \" [$ L- [  M8 VThe second man married a telephone operator. # Q3 ]0 b  k: E1 Y
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. " p5 F' Z1 {& n0 \/ P
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ; u$ _+ W2 i( d$ T5 j
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. / Q4 h" I, N0 ~6 B% ^
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 7 Q+ q2 W9 @1 a. F) J+ _
but teachers are just too frigid".; a" [! q# j# N. Q

+ A* b$ R/ v" e2 f! FThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 5 K) c7 Y$ e* j' N9 h" V* E
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
* a& U1 m2 ^; X, Q- i+ ~would call much later in the day.) _! F) f; U+ v" Y/ O
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
" P# X! L0 |6 @) v+ ~nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's & y0 J# t2 O8 \* n
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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0 Z. T8 U9 Y+ O0 S1 ~. F$ P2 DDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.# y$ H: q, |% m. J& ^2 x5 A  v

: S3 g. f: j% u! i* u  P* z7 BThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
; c. J* N) d0 H; f* awas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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+ C* ]0 q1 e# WAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.- s1 A6 u7 c( t) y
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 4 ^+ J5 f8 L9 k+ W8 r1 W9 R0 N7 I
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
) ~/ t; ?& H, g' v- p4 Win shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ! ?- Z) H: x0 e2 O
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
0 [( y1 m# V5 g% W: G" Uheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
) [7 v! x! L! m) uthree minutes are up."
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& g1 @" }6 t8 Y* `+ Q4 T6 `$ c, fDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 6 b, S; d6 O' y1 ?" C: K% \5 E
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The % _: N0 M* O6 C/ e. ?, \
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only & v" Q, d  l# G
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
  Q! h/ @' z4 ^! v, Y  M1 Wlegs.
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& P$ o" ]1 x2 F% M* B; V/ JJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
! N  @! X5 y8 Ufight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
4 G7 l! K7 `: b: \a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 6 T* j  v6 R+ L% o( q. C$ O! p
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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