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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
$ E+ L0 `( q. d' K! uBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
, J# h+ q8 R3 f* ]& ]8 ?/ @" NBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 3 c9 ]( @, h4 j$ k, [) v
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
6 F: N6 X# n7 G' J" M" a! S* |flock, will you give me one?"1 _$ @0 i+ s( H0 J5 T/ A+ E2 q. o; a, a

4 v- V( p9 C( V# U, G" ]: dThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
, e% q2 N: J0 ?4 T1 |peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 4 f. x# o5 h+ T7 Q* q
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a & U0 o6 a$ p& _: d
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 9 Y7 U3 r0 T/ Y; s& P! \
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
  p9 R: T; I9 mBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
3 C" J& o% b" M6 u; G% M+ Qa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 5 n" O' B$ V5 a0 C& ^" V0 p
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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" t. \6 A6 p: D& c" _$ H2 p- ]"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his $ X" W+ h' J1 w7 c( b
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
* j. |) T. ]/ r) W6 e# ^is, will you give me back my animal?"% {: K! d* g- {, U1 G7 Y
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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5 j8 F, p" {1 C"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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' o4 _' S. D/ M% K! m8 k"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ( a* S; ~4 P& O: E5 \- T4 N9 t
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
( O, V3 \( E0 \8 Mquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give $ L# X$ N" s8 [4 p% N0 z
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
' p2 [4 I9 d: l  b; N) n- V9 Pundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". # B5 W$ a9 Z0 F' g; f
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ) ?' J. B6 E4 U0 K3 a' U
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
$ X: G7 U0 v2 W+ a& `+ xwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
6 y8 y9 L0 {6 b4 {into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ) G* @, Y+ l) Z; `" Z' g% q
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
$ {6 V5 d* o0 j1 G' |% zopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 0 N" H4 c, C. K0 |6 B4 E! Z0 \
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ! K1 o8 c  E1 H2 T. o0 X; U$ t2 r
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, + g8 e% L7 j% [7 i& Y8 \
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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/ k- b5 P$ y3 L5 a& lDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ; s$ ?& h* i; t( V, K1 ?7 k
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator. * y! @; `+ O; i/ O8 K
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. % _0 i/ L0 F4 M, w4 b* q
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 8 a+ ?/ m* V9 w+ X$ D0 s
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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& X8 Q4 F0 D2 V0 ?8 p9 hDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 0 M1 X9 s- f( C5 A9 G
but teachers are just too frigid".$ P% J4 w5 c* A* f

  l) a2 N9 q1 {8 X+ K6 HThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
9 E( G' S7 ?6 v: honly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 0 _2 T, J/ G7 d8 ?3 g  n
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
  W/ G9 L: s4 F- {( |nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's + V6 W; h) K# F7 ^- l
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.& _; f7 ^: i' c: k7 s9 |' _  p$ q
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
0 W' f0 L& [  |/ J- _was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 0 r& ~# m5 @5 M0 s6 V9 I7 k+ I
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 3 M$ q6 b* \& Z6 B& M0 q
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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" c' x# j- L# J; f! Y3 G' }Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
3 ~6 U, Q0 B4 c6 k/ T0 p6 Ttheir voices."
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" K# y1 O  P$ h6 i1 }( p! mThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I   X; h; q6 t: F/ x
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
& n. E% g9 M: S, W; m, c7 Dthree minutes are up." # C. ]! e0 H- H: C
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
5 ^1 q! k2 z( B8 ]calling any minute.* E, l( ]4 E0 F+ }% G; O
0 ]# ?& C$ N1 y, w  E5 I& }
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast." D* j5 ?0 n6 o7 X

$ ]  k6 i9 R. W0 D/ s3 mDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ; `8 h# j8 M3 l
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 2 v6 b- L' }9 s' j. Y; {
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
3 S( D7 L7 h- C$ k$ klegs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
7 G# T1 D' ]) r- H6 j' Tfight?" # E# R4 w- N5 D* n: S

1 N0 |$ c# \3 K. A/ ?: n& Y$ B/ wThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ; g- `. u+ g- E5 u
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We " z* A# _; O3 h, K' @
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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