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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new : t5 U* g3 x: U5 {5 L
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a ; x( C1 y4 X( L7 ]7 c
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ! x9 _1 Z3 F7 F# z) g
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ; G5 ~+ ^- a6 A  G2 A
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 9 Q3 D; Z) r: E: v' F' M1 F$ J
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
8 N4 g6 [5 z# W1 E4 @cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a   d( t- V" ^9 V7 @  ~
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 9 |1 b5 p0 q) Q& h
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
' N$ h' }' s( q4 Q0 Z' f* i' WBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
5 s4 Y  F- \' y! v6 C5 E1 f6 Xa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
7 {2 A* G$ F2 B( q# ysays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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  O: s! q7 v, W) Y4 d3 a: q% t5 H"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. - l$ ~& W! O( G' e5 L1 W4 `  d: p3 f
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
2 f* @- A3 r, U6 O4 O9 ~) mcar.  H- |& g& y& C
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 9 y6 i$ j& \  k( ^' Q
is, will you give me back my animal?". `2 d! v% `9 P' `
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.) |7 e8 a# D4 Q6 z' J3 X! K8 C1 ^

3 T  f% ]! a7 \; Q* |"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. " Z3 s7 @4 ?6 g

) t" I: ]% }( C. U( |"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"  s, @  _) v3 M5 F3 O

1 h" S. `' r, g+ t" d"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ( ~% G7 H3 [0 Y& `: s! p
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a * {  _0 D' y  P3 V5 {+ K& I8 K1 d7 \
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
* F0 [: @- H) y5 i6 `& U% w' ame back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
) g/ w  `* L$ }) w2 I* aundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". # p9 S, z* B' G& s# M3 O' p) C
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ' G3 A! E& t" k" n
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 0 Z# n; M  `' g9 p& ^. F) y
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 9 q, s  S( h4 H( Z$ z1 ^% A
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into , w1 N* H% Y1 S6 p" i
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 0 r( E2 A9 t: D+ F! h: I" K
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman * V: k9 F$ r  L  l7 ~5 O
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 2 Q6 [* r3 ?, ]) Q: |& j; C+ F
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 7 ]. u$ H( P& D+ p
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. . n: e: L7 j0 \$ T* J: d, |

, t* P% a: A; T- Y. kThe first man married a nurse.
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$ H' k# B& ~/ Z0 T2 u+ f( M& lDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
6 l0 w' S7 U- K+ Y$ n2 v: ANurses are known to be hot to trot".0 M, Y  J' O6 F6 w) `! t

+ Z3 N% ?( P& N  z. PThe second man married a telephone operator. % d( I8 L& i/ _8 @( M0 V

+ d9 ]. B3 k" }( p( z9 wDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
+ C7 V4 X9 H8 q( H5 KTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 9 w. n  s+ _3 X  P5 {: N
button...A-bomb.?
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8 e4 h; `+ M( M# F; L- bThe third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
5 ~* |4 {+ I/ {; E  Q7 bbut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 3 N- S+ I9 E6 k: a: b" ]$ O
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ) H: E  ?- T6 l7 O! L2 |1 \
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
* ?- C1 e5 _7 x5 pnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 7 j( p; z+ w, l9 H# ]+ ?5 s% r, C8 w
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night / e' V( y( J1 g: O; p8 t
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.4 ?. E3 s7 M9 Z, A
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
# H5 F& c1 a$ `! I# y4 }. g7 Mas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
8 v$ U, |% s6 O7 Z! Lin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.) x1 }9 E- ?6 G% r5 a
! o& }8 H! m8 L7 H; X1 `8 T* f+ `' W
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
$ V1 ]4 _; Q+ S+ Ttheir voices."
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2 ]2 Y  o4 \& U8 N" V( BThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ) U: j* M" e* {2 b% B: t
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
  W. ]8 ?$ p3 K7 |$ jthree minutes are up." , \+ m# |' u$ J% k: d) L

; Z7 w4 I% `! {5 NDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 6 x" R4 x# D. N1 M/ M+ W
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.2 \/ {. v, U8 ]: O2 ]

' ?0 V. b' O* }5 ]% YDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
- y7 s# }; x9 @* O# g! tman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only # @. g4 @  p; x' E! _) j  [
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
9 O% p  [: F* nlegs.
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' I1 b0 ?/ @1 ^$ H) o/ Y' fJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a , m2 l/ W# }1 i+ d* m
fight?" $ e0 T# a3 I1 y$ r

: o% m- i  }0 h/ lThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 0 S$ U% |( p& T, N
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 2 T6 U( |, A/ S  ^$ Z
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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