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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
3 Y; i. W5 {% ?7 i/ o$ X! ]/ cBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
: Y) a% x5 X' UBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
; y% S/ K( ?: Q- T# J( v  mand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
, j! S  T- e1 Z# B9 V' Bflock, will you give me one?": Q" Q  i. ~7 K1 n
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 5 f% a6 i1 m8 W* E0 p; G
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
+ D; J! ?4 g0 H# \* G; ^1 ^% acell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ; W, {9 J  T5 y; m
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ' }- ?4 R5 ~7 ?5 o
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 6 s- z. ]: K, Z
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out * K, c! V% U, \* Q+ i
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
4 C% h7 D  j' D1 E* Ksays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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3 h: j! q- \! O, M5 y4 Z"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. - n6 a9 M( j; p  a+ g/ L( P9 F

- `  W: Z1 ?/ P1 Y+ g6 v" |He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 5 K+ o8 r: b! E0 ?! ]
car.
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% C  l* e) l: x7 V4 W5 L9 U* u, _7 |. mThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
( A+ M0 y1 Y) C8 Sis, will you give me back my animal?"- p% t: \' A' W
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.* ?: x4 P& y! E( a7 J, \2 u( Z
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"( A6 E6 ]4 D' g" C! ^- O

: y0 ]5 s  s0 ~+ A6 `9 @"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 9 O1 o' p4 K0 c; [3 t
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
/ {& B2 g  P7 T7 r- x) Wquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
, w3 J2 y; W* R7 ume back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
" t# p4 Y5 W  B) P+ _undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 4 K  Z7 p3 E  q. Q) t' M% N8 W. X
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few / Y) ~( P. q& D/ {# C7 Y1 N
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
" E8 I  M6 {$ K* Zwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ) d7 z+ q9 `9 _; z/ ?
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
9 \- e$ M5 C* Hher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
+ a) H/ l5 z" b  \* `9 Q% y* copen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
% X$ k! ^1 @- c' W& g: \! qresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
$ O1 W+ F! f* w& G" q0 gbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 8 }2 b$ Q2 S% X" V2 A$ v
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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0 E( A' r6 n4 V0 k/ k" bDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ( f4 E( t7 a' f9 o/ ~" p4 U
Nurses are known to be hot to trot"." H8 e2 j5 N1 e0 ^; d; T  j; J
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The second man married a telephone operator. , {% L# S$ c" }$ N
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
* R; c. T! o1 b2 x# |  T; [/ Y& ]1 wTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top " |6 ]- v5 q. ?
button...A-bomb.?
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  C3 S+ ]6 p) uThe third man married a school teacher. 3 K3 {* W" [5 A4 k# M7 D! O

2 ]* |7 B: x- B- N4 a: wDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
2 U, F& P( @% d$ Q9 ]! z: K* Ibut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
) {% V% I+ Y- r# Tonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
; v: w! Y+ G: O% s9 Hwould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
' E* d+ ^* y1 u: q, y# Unurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
* O: X+ [5 Y. Z8 `$ p8 E0 Tpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. / u. A/ t9 y8 @6 P
& ?) ~. W8 [/ Y+ }2 F; J
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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1 \5 \2 i2 z& aThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
2 B9 j& g7 S6 ^9 z# ewas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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) k2 [, U8 c+ V' g4 y7 gThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast % Z3 I! l. K% |! q
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
/ j9 I8 r. Z0 p9 [- Xin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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5 d: k* u6 U& v/ ?: UDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
  h, {3 o& s3 Htheir voices."
% O6 u" \3 A: D% y0 s- \
; J! a2 u2 N& c- jThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
1 U; D: ^, y4 i0 sheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
5 h- F/ d: C9 V7 S3 Zthree minutes are up." 5 o/ i- C  X1 ?! X
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
! x: Z; q& x% g4 Pcalling any minute.& x# ~$ Y% @+ ~- V; l5 R
+ Q7 K6 `4 ^/ ?2 l  u* E1 s/ c2 q
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.1 G) G/ A( P8 _4 A
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
$ D6 b( |+ ]: Fman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
2 p) A5 i: K: E- S$ Qhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and $ a7 U7 i& A# [0 t6 m7 t6 O
legs.% A& p4 n% Z" p+ h  b- Q$ Q" T

+ Y; T% b. @( A' ZJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 8 |- g- U4 q! k: f7 ]
fight?" 4 P* I! x. r: d! w; t3 z. _: c
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
/ _: O! C6 v2 ua school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 2 j. |1 w* y$ [: y3 V. M
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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