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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
4 h1 T( L' z( x# jBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a : n; K' L4 |: C! ]' P3 Q7 d
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window , G% s2 ?  B+ H% G% w5 ]( C
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
2 X% x# o6 Y% U2 l  pflock, will you give me one?"* a' u" v3 X: ?6 E& L# P

/ F" U/ n( c% X' h4 zThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
# \" t2 Q( G8 p2 M: @peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."- m' h! f; {2 U% y3 m4 F& `# k

- O1 }: v& c' K0 D/ X* F. wThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
  ^3 Y7 l" P- {( Z$ f1 v% r! acell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
4 z/ H( q) B' a' _) E# JGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 9 f0 }% Y$ f2 p* n) U+ k
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ' l* G- m& r" U8 \" d8 I8 x4 J
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out / I3 {7 i' k) l. z7 h: _" S' w. Q
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and - v( W" x+ J) |% ^$ z& }: \  {
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"." G1 `8 b, g' q  ~9 _- H

9 Y/ m9 u* F1 ~4 R8 {! H% f"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
, C( X' H' i# g$ [; Q$ k, |4 x) Ocar.  D/ G/ D$ b! [9 K: v" N' W0 N
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
- p, M. d2 h: ~1 Q! ^is, will you give me back my animal?"
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2 X6 s. b5 W, l. Z5 f"OK, why not" answered the young man.5 A0 [  J5 A# R. @% B2 B

$ u2 O- t7 T9 h; k"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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# R) v; u* C# R( r) ~"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"+ E4 D) E. {" N% a
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
7 I' e) I3 w( e9 ^4 x% A% Znobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
  j  S7 H% z6 t+ G1 f7 [9 aquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 1 w  D% D% C; V( Z8 `
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is - Q$ B; m) u2 h2 d% B5 _
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
2 X+ f$ m8 p( x( S* p: lNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
/ M" z. ~. d: R7 lmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
% A( _9 w9 P# N2 y# Twas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
* w9 y  A: H5 m/ J& t" T$ A0 E4 Ninto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
2 z- f% J' N- s# B, q3 }) p, f& vher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was - s* D' [  d2 F5 T8 T
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 V0 s$ g5 ~' M, O4 V- J
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
* C) Y  b+ g' J6 N. d+ W; Fbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, . l; e4 P" E8 X& r; u  X8 I
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 2 ~5 a3 n5 @; V/ v

; a# U" \* d- OThe first man married a nurse. 8 a6 k) Q; l. n* v; R

- f+ E1 i: S3 j/ u# `9 d, D! e& eDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
: b; o6 b5 M0 RNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 5 B3 P9 J. q$ d7 j+ t" c1 b4 t
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
4 q/ a2 u% @( ?4 j( p" c. @button...A-bomb.?
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, j( Q2 Z( U. Z3 X# @The third man married a school teacher.
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" o, Q8 h$ ~: E# f9 s) oDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 8 b6 D4 T2 O2 ^1 w, I" h" Q+ |' L
but teachers are just too frigid".- i& ~. i: j% s% e0 B9 S
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 9 f0 T5 t' H' x6 ]7 U, M. `
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two , w0 q8 y  `3 d* d) C
would call much later in the day.+ w7 r2 F; @6 X5 s  H/ b
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
0 j8 A4 D8 B) L8 D5 C2 knurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's * I9 I$ G& J! v0 X$ d. h
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. + [4 l! s' ?0 h. Z3 g1 E6 e

9 L$ `) a+ |6 l7 m5 e' T' e2 J. qDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night . m5 R4 p3 i! N6 E
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
+ G2 V( }1 v. }  D: u, Q
) _% a% [6 S7 RAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.0 t! P5 F# m- `8 s. o- A/ D
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
1 l* U! o. c7 M( U+ P8 nas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
) ]8 \" v$ J5 X: U, D8 k0 iin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.) y! Q5 n) G. y  r( ]+ G
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as . k# D5 @/ i8 @0 ]
their voices." ! C' @) c1 s$ A# N, r( b
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I # e) z; L& ~8 k3 W
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
+ o! @; f) n/ a3 k7 ?; d) k0 U) O% Hthree minutes are up." 0 Z" R5 j" O% f7 Y9 J/ Z3 K& w9 q
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
9 f' S. Q! d+ x' `2 Q+ Bcalling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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& D* \, }+ c8 J' |6 H9 n6 HDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 6 i/ @- p* b& C
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only ( {% A1 I. j4 N
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
2 d4 E; p  B4 p) P1 vlegs.
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. L2 a. k4 ]; f! BJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
  P2 F% _/ j  m: ~4 Bfight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 9 k  i' @0 u1 d/ Z: ~' e5 e
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
9 X* e" Z4 Z% u, bare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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