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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
1 r- }& l: U0 qBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
5 D3 X0 ?, K9 @, O0 L/ l: K: jBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window " I& V# l! q7 H$ K1 V4 {# M# ?
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
% q. [" i% a# O5 n- j1 ^5 ^/ Y# Qflock, will you give me one?"4 Q* Y0 }+ |1 w4 Y+ N0 ^

' B9 B+ H3 K" h2 EThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 5 j5 p1 E5 S" {2 |
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."0 r" M1 f0 \8 J
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
( A: M! H2 d3 v$ |/ Bcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
6 c3 X+ g" a% A% a# x2 B4 b- _GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
& Z& c7 F; B. nand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
" I$ n, C: y2 T" z) sBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 6 b$ M$ y; g, E5 Y
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and % Q8 `2 `2 K3 ?" P$ t
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".: ?2 M& c6 v# K: F/ D9 D4 S9 `
/ G! a) i' T1 x9 Z8 O; v8 G
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. $ ^2 ^* G& C! _  o( {; t

9 I( `; y6 _5 `: @He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
3 B1 [* s7 b- {- B5 T, {) Z" g9 xcar./ A! C- O! z8 n* V, X

- @( R4 k* s" [9 G3 fThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business * A6 Y6 @- K( ^* v8 J. j0 U6 m8 o
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.: x- U) V, \6 t$ Q! J' S
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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: Q- ?4 W( D3 |" |# e& W3 ~"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although * W4 R& F, T" I- \( Q8 K% C
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
7 w* b, V! v6 Equestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
& v. ~6 d& @" |' x3 f5 hme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
+ v& h" G/ x2 Bundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
. C6 d: O: ?  @8 j2 eNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few   x' w( [' k% q3 M; {" p) Y. T5 P# m# m, `
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 4 ]5 V( C' d# W6 M0 @; ^
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 9 R7 c8 _% z% Z. ^! ^& s
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into # f) b3 S" e2 m/ W8 L- @
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
8 ]) N1 \5 m0 v4 gopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
; p1 }- S" _+ Hresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
7 U8 y% p- X) F  [5 @6 Nbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ' A2 k/ Q; S1 f
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. % v! Q0 ?; Z. x" J
# ?$ t. E2 U+ H) P1 k! J
The first man married a nurse. - b( ?0 G9 S! T2 q

, z# G  v8 U* x1 @. ^& b0 qDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 0 r. k1 a: ~% `( i8 E
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".7 g0 R$ Y" t9 ^0 j4 v. U" W
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The second man married a telephone operator. & E# J4 w  q; N: U  m' p) q! P
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.   x! G+ B/ v- S% K
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top % B6 _: Q) n3 T: m* a6 f
button...A-bomb.?
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* X7 q3 e; ~) ^; vThe third man married a school teacher.
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  _9 K: S$ x& @- c& X6 o4 pDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty " |" M8 s  C7 u! N0 P" h9 Q
but teachers are just too frigid".# H2 W3 U; A% [, P  t% c
6 n. Z/ |0 l) M/ `2 u, o- o
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
* H, S; h) v1 w5 e8 Oonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 5 N. @' m& O, o% l' g
would call much later in the day.
6 A* k% T9 X- U  B8 b0 P9 ~, |* d+ \9 E* W9 F3 B. i
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ) u! J: b$ x* F% x. V' T+ m
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
# i$ I. z: b. h) J7 tpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 6 C: \' _/ f1 W; I  x! v; k
" \# \9 a2 [0 W; f1 [" t5 M% e
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.: }6 i+ x1 P6 o* S
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
& ^% m! l0 v4 Q; M8 P1 {* w" Twas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
" K+ n. X& Z/ N1 U3 R
2 U0 _7 \/ F  e2 B2 |At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.1 |. A  S  ]4 }! G( W9 e' L
7 E2 H; _3 \7 s) U. B
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
% k  a, O- T9 y6 K0 l& v& o5 u7 H0 bas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
* v0 W/ ]) a& t. Z6 P/ u2 l) l$ Ein shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
6 X  p% w3 ~$ R0 n. O% O5 G0 R7 B( P' H# Y3 G/ f' L) k
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
& {. \7 _2 i4 Z3 a0 I/ I% Ntheir voices." $ D( y" L* J6 \1 B' ^; u8 m1 Y: B
9 v* k6 V. K" \
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
# y& |% G' o# kheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 4 ]2 f) y9 X9 h1 R/ c7 e; j( k) R
three minutes are up."
8 b5 _5 x6 V( [; |2 ^
# x; f+ q4 }% y! uDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be / y* g, Z0 B9 I) Q) s5 E
calling any minute.0 e6 S* Y( q/ J

' T: V; P8 n$ n7 S4 RFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
" _3 W' q% [! g. U: W: d
0 ]. l6 M8 n0 E# v) r! lDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
8 V, O+ t( ]0 \& @' rman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 0 O: S, e3 h. Z- Y/ G  O# ~8 }
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
% t  t* @1 Y0 R/ ]  Q% R' `legs.
9 e1 T" S  `0 k# v  \# m- ]% k/ ?# v& m  a- f5 v; ~' P5 C/ Y
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 7 I8 k2 a$ n+ o' I; K& b3 {% j3 p
fight?" 4 |' z8 q2 _8 U5 D/ L

/ ~% _! E! {( H- u7 Y& [The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
; y/ T2 F5 A9 u" Y* C% Ma school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We " w, X, w4 L0 R; h  J9 s! s
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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