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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
5 K  x% z/ B9 B4 J$ r) H( hBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
+ [7 z+ k& n1 `/ P9 ^Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window . b' u! d9 s/ f% p' c+ l
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
# I8 q/ y! T: \2 q/ G  H: B) Eflock, will you give me one?"
5 q! w9 a# a( q$ q
0 t, `1 H0 X% G. D, c( X1 e+ x3 tThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
( W5 \% B! |- zpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."/ H4 D# t' L& C9 @0 b  c  u
& E- ^" r. C9 u% q& C0 }
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
% E# d; A: s4 x/ [2 vcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ) V1 U1 r6 X' X" q0 H6 i
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
" P$ [% b2 ?4 {and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
! W6 J2 e" `/ I' A+ J$ |& GBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
2 D( l5 t6 b% C$ }9 y4 ka 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 3 e% N" p; W5 Q2 A
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".+ \+ G% ^. }# V
+ t2 k% U4 ~  _9 @( O$ d1 T7 E/ b
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 9 g8 O& b1 P9 `+ |; @3 |- s* W; ]

7 ~7 x  o9 ?/ i2 a9 I% A; q* uHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
7 A3 q/ G" ]% C0 X' q1 `3 ]  e) @car.  [( U' u0 A! {6 w% ~

' @& F- x* X# b% Z( z& ]& }Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
6 y: t- h5 W8 Z, G+ l; h5 Uis, will you give me back my animal?"" j' X' ^" m: |8 V* }
8 v, `8 o0 `$ p! n
"OK, why not" answered the young man.( e7 g' Z# O+ p# _8 m* I0 |* j3 D

1 J6 ]* C% y7 _/ z0 U"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 5 ?7 ~, B7 X8 P
+ D- P, [- q6 M% D
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"! U% r8 l7 ?; v. y4 ~( h0 `; a1 L

. r1 |7 v5 T4 `% z( z"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
# M; h/ t' ~% w2 v) }nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a # h9 G9 g% t( z9 s
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 {1 @; u" V- t6 n
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
* O$ a1 H9 ?; C5 q, uundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". , W5 Y( m% ?! }' N6 X$ q$ v
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
  O9 K# r) _. D* T. z4 V1 Z- umoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ! c1 H2 K- r& K& U
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
1 L% v4 q3 }3 X# E% einto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
$ ~  H$ F/ q1 L7 hher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
, v: F9 y# ~0 k1 copen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
+ l1 L7 W( J* `  eresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle + z8 ^. y; j) {; J
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, % {( `! M- u( z" v
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
# B% H7 j4 a5 a% N# ]0 R; P8 q' D" a( i% A" R
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
8 j, x- F. X4 v* q7 FNurses are known to be hot to trot".
. R4 ]2 O& m0 Y
! R: ]0 u! H! R% e" pThe second man married a telephone operator.
/ Z, U3 n- s# Y: Q$ e
* v5 [( A' ?. z' n1 a3 RDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 8 Q8 C, v- b+ ?5 t5 G: u$ l
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
, z% ?+ T: ]7 F: ~7 G9 wbutton...A-bomb.?
' [9 Z& c9 j1 d# b, b4 Z6 m! t
; Q5 r6 y* f( W# L/ N' aThe third man married a school teacher. ( v5 I: B, q% \4 d

- E: ]; a+ `) @# O+ c1 tDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 3 ^9 j2 Y3 |8 s" c: f" I4 X
but teachers are just too frigid".$ Y+ V( O: V3 ^3 a& m. X
7 b. F% M. }2 [, k) h
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 4 X) i+ E- y, g5 E0 W
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
5 U) i  `0 g% X7 \9 d. _would call much later in the day.) B1 a0 ?+ N# k4 B5 t$ P# A
. C( \7 ?8 c0 N
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 5 W- l( Y! Y1 z* u/ [# G/ h
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
: N- [7 Z. O, s  V: Vpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. ; [) [: ~1 G- Q7 `5 m! h
1 k8 W. c. O% Q# c8 |; {# G8 _
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.+ h" a" \1 I: j+ r5 N

) z: I3 Y4 s8 ?! s2 y) q8 |The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 6 [1 J. @/ {* X1 \! l4 \
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
( `/ R/ g% `$ b8 C9 C' M4 E; o2 ^' M
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
- G9 j; m, r) F
3 F9 O7 s( x- q1 g: rThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
3 ]) D  u  h$ @: v7 m1 f& C/ ras possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
3 S& V4 Z/ |, c: ]in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
. x$ {4 \7 ^) u5 L% ], u+ I+ |, e" r& [% z+ B- z2 R
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 5 i% z/ v( y, c5 T" i
their voices."
1 Z  F- Q6 G3 K: R5 }' ~( h6 M+ H( j. b5 K& k9 f7 m1 N
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
! V6 b9 l- a* H- _# wheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
# ~/ c7 b9 V' B1 o& Qthree minutes are up." % t$ f* G+ s, W, k+ R

, Y! x, h( n2 k  K: ADave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 8 p1 f$ g$ K) b1 F3 X
calling any minute.. ~1 w1 ?+ }* h6 C2 J1 e+ i

) O+ o" m0 N. [4 _9 ~6 WFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.4 z. d" D$ ]5 J8 F3 @

/ V9 W  Q  b4 r# ~# uDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
; n+ f, d# N- @8 k+ }$ Yman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
4 h/ a* i9 M9 Z; J4 L" Hhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and * f; `1 x/ r$ j  f, t7 Q
legs.
, s* u, ]& `( Y* z( j$ P
" a; I' M, e7 q4 hJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
- n4 K' }- D' ~' w3 D  c7 ufight?" 0 t& ^9 K+ E+ D2 ^
- z! i( ~: v/ l* Y8 I
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
$ L4 o3 _7 A" Ca school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 8 F  J, L+ B  X+ _
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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