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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ) C& q7 c! w- i; |
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a ' \2 _$ c& e/ q. a0 z
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
2 P% ~9 Y3 {9 j; M, D# qand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
2 a9 O. M9 [; b4 d, Wflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
/ _3 f2 ^2 }, Cpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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$ L! x) D+ M' y' u) f6 Z8 |The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 6 m5 f1 m0 ^* U. b' r( X* g
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a + a* |$ M" n4 X! c
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database , s& o" {* F+ U: ^1 F4 X% t
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
, Y; x4 K) c  K6 R# |Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 0 q# h4 L+ F( y2 q9 E; }
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and / W( u1 T$ X  P7 t; O  X0 ]
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".$ q8 l- f+ X% f: b4 x  {

, z& U( w9 I4 v+ t  J2 `8 s! r; X, X! Z"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ; A, [" n9 A) b4 b. I

6 ~: f( n# P: `3 \, L5 }3 R8 h6 lHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
4 D% J1 U* S# B. u/ o0 q/ Ucar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business & p! d$ C/ v- N9 E! x
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.: z' M+ T, Y: P* ], _

" _5 ~4 I, w3 h, P! T# }4 V"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. . q1 r4 k) l: y. b3 _4 |9 r! G

. B* F# q: m( `8 @  |- S"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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8 o$ t8 z, W: [- f, k; `. H"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although   \8 K3 ~( ~: y5 R9 N4 A  j$ d
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
6 A% A- A$ K. ?question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
& e+ o* ^' @# `* M* F" Ome back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is - z$ l; L" v) r
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
" e* m% O$ b5 z  ?) u% gNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few % u7 l) |& b* j% a% X
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
  T$ Q7 [  y/ L; Lwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran % |: l) w1 `; r- s; p( l& O) k
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into % T; N: ]* `8 Z: D1 P+ h
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
. k9 r* B2 H* _4 copen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 3 o8 ^& B/ i- ~3 d
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 1 D0 I' Y+ X$ ~$ J9 e
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, % }6 |* q# G' y( Y/ \" y6 p/ n
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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& P; J# u8 [2 f& @9 C9 E/ h1 @1 mThe first man married a nurse.
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: g3 |" p) H8 h+ P& |. Y, YDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 7 s! l) {. U' q. F% g5 A
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".  N4 {4 h" m( h2 I

' _# I3 {3 L4 S: \3 ~' w2 W. ^The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. & S2 ^7 s" {8 J5 S, z/ Q
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
& e. {% z% a7 q9 e5 w  s, {button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty # @3 {0 M6 |- s5 {3 ?
but teachers are just too frigid".( h. ^6 y$ x( l" w

* ]4 M) f7 z% w' K) a. y) tThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
' Q, Z8 }) `) U: A3 ^9 zonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
( E0 u, D  C2 Awould call much later in the day.4 B! x* ~2 U7 L3 C. R% g6 D0 J9 l
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
5 J0 U6 @' K( Anurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
* ?0 q* t0 P0 O8 [# ypajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. . X( p) Q. ?! R. Z: }

. @; p4 @- C5 q  K' N: YDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
2 o0 r! u( r5 O+ j1 C% Twas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary.") M& h: x& G, m8 S6 u2 m8 w

- {2 F4 A' r0 u% @At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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( t# ^. _* d3 O; R) X7 S7 NThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 2 a9 l$ ~  s. Q. u) \
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
0 t) P; @3 D& \% o' y  yin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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# k4 b" ?& G- B  k7 eDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
: Z0 `& K1 u# gtheir voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 5 f4 i1 C8 l" f1 p
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
7 u! q6 H) n- b9 F: _* M  kthree minutes are up." ) }4 e, x, \8 i0 ]
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be - x0 e9 L* m& l; C2 Y  ^
calling any minute.
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! t  e: ?7 V+ K" Q/ dFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast./ b# P8 Y3 s* {3 d0 n  b

) a# S6 m) N7 f9 I& LDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The - K( U0 ~+ J& h8 i) t
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 6 c* z2 t3 F7 G  M
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
% r" e1 B  D/ Y  v! q4 Klegs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 3 }! [1 p5 I  T# h
fight?" 4 W$ M7 u) F3 _1 Q/ m( F

8 Y2 [' `, A1 n8 O# bThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
; F9 Z' [( D, z* v# g8 z# A9 ja school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We & n! W- B/ V& t
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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