埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4555|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
/ ?  A" J2 G9 \9 O4 }BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
: P) Q& [' r, y1 _' n" lBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
" v" G" G0 ?2 F% N: B! land asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
) ^( g( V5 _9 l& C4 f8 eflock, will you give me one?"7 @% C5 ]+ r5 z4 p
3 p  x/ g$ t/ S1 p
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
7 J3 Z8 @8 X5 i- ?8 o" fpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
3 M$ b/ u: S. {/ c5 d5 w: @; Z0 x  x3 t: k
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
, h1 e3 y& k: @8 W* V  H& acell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
6 e# a2 ?4 z# Q( r  C: }GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database   O1 J8 L. F" o, c' H7 U
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his / \* y! _# k3 E" U
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
( Z4 Z% p1 W4 I2 H4 va 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
4 a, h) `$ O/ Ksays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"." }/ X! m$ t. L* }+ e$ |  S

, j' y5 l! F! L. q+ m. O4 k"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ! r: o; ^' _& ^( [  D( f
% f9 }  {& S8 }/ k
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 1 b$ H. h. K( m- Y' v
car.4 N; u/ T  q" {1 f# {7 o/ v

8 g$ x* X, N( h& P. FThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
4 i! {+ x& I5 U% b" Fis, will you give me back my animal?"4 M+ p+ m0 p, u# `( S

' B) ~- r/ k. C) _$ K"OK, why not" answered the young man.8 I, _7 u/ m2 V" ~" U( G% w
( H$ y/ U8 [+ o' K2 `/ d
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
) }& ]) H# _# e* a$ e" P3 @6 ]) M7 q9 C; N
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
( P; q( R7 l3 b& z* e3 _: M
2 g! z4 K7 V4 u* d* t"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
3 g: L8 \3 ]. Q. o+ C' Mnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
' ^& Z3 D3 }4 fquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ; B; [4 q; v; Y+ G+ w: X
me back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
; z# s( \" f9 c* @6 Yundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
* u% R/ h+ p; o- KNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few * M8 @! f* ?% g, f
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
' [2 h# ]6 e: I7 E. f- y4 Nwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 7 y0 |% `: i  y+ [" Z5 y1 _3 G/ o
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
9 L/ d4 r: s* e; a3 hher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 3 g% d  f% e& C* h* D
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 6 c& t8 D# N" I
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
" c/ F* h% U) W0 n8 D. s( G8 Hbags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ( m  F5 z: ~  F6 i8 `, H* |% T* d8 x
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. & U& {: G, v, N: k' x" J$ H
  ]& p! x; x: u( d. ?5 O
The first man married a nurse.
* N5 V" i5 R* C7 e  t5 o, J& V# q6 }, T! s
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 5 i0 s  w4 O: n# _# q3 m) _4 z
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".* u! I: S- y8 W) b, E# q+ X) T/ i+ ]

2 D) A  {& C0 I; v: Z# q5 ~/ dThe second man married a telephone operator. / w- d. t! Z! V' [8 r
% N9 r( p: @2 o, X1 O0 m3 @1 `4 |
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.   K) O/ B3 J! O& H, t+ v: _
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
4 Q0 h/ w1 X2 p" c/ P4 H8 bbutton...A-bomb.?
; P. L0 \& {, _7 A; M
3 ~! I4 J+ r. k0 x( i  K7 w+ m, KThe third man married a school teacher. : O) ^! P  o+ c6 a: m
' Q: c6 l8 h- p
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty " t2 V/ \5 {- x; Q  J; ~$ `, V
but teachers are just too frigid".0 Q; D$ f" }9 C' X" W) X5 c

8 o% k! ?9 ^# \/ I2 b% SThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
! `0 I4 L( A! A: y; \9 X/ l% F, Qonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
  B& I6 S6 H# @would call much later in the day.
# B( l" l5 ~& d* H+ ~& L
+ W' Z6 I# G6 p& X5 l! r; q; eAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The + x+ k; E. x+ j% i
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
, W  L; U' O$ @+ c/ Apajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. : o( y' T2 h* m& r
6 \. v- S$ H6 ^# g, \3 @
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.# `9 j) Z; I1 C) |2 R5 A

% I" k& v+ X- e, ?4 cThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 4 _# @3 m1 ^) p- `
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."  R( g( P; Q) w. m
7 c) u0 k0 X) |5 z4 M, ~8 T
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
: O' Y# [- D2 s- `+ }6 T  y+ I% @* {
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 1 L, n3 M6 q: j5 ~4 e  {+ O
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back % Q# u1 K, n" v- @) v8 e% ]/ z
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.+ R! |( }# v* r; a+ ~$ Z( P9 X

& ?5 C: P/ V; }1 t0 O" _% |% NDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as / `2 n2 o  R$ y2 }) B
their voices."
1 t: S" I: |& d0 y3 E, Y
5 ^0 ^% ^$ m, D& I. WThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
" F) @; J, V6 F1 o$ ?" C% t# Gheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
8 `% |1 k; {/ o, zthree minutes are up." 4 }' W2 H- Q! b3 y" f3 B
# X+ d% B0 c! B( x( `' |
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
" j/ J/ K3 r5 L; c+ s- c2 {5 K, ]calling any minute.
. `# T- T2 m/ s" l0 G
6 s# p, [* z* j. kFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
9 o+ E# \5 `3 ?0 _( e7 P. V3 F8 q5 U; i, k; H' |
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The " m2 L6 {" H' g+ ?" E
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 9 O5 H/ ~% G8 w/ q
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
, B+ {* l# i& ?+ Xlegs.
3 n7 @2 z# [# C9 N# p" @
2 G+ ?5 b& ^& ^0 H" AJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a : E0 F3 b" c: F- U
fight?" ) P1 Z; m1 i( ^, Y6 j  k

0 E& N8 a! u1 D+ DThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 5 E' ?, z. n. L( p6 ]- N4 O
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ! x9 `1 z+ Z# u# \2 \4 N* ~
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2025-12-9 06:22 , Processed in 0.103526 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表