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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ! t2 F+ N' q$ T$ C, W; b9 G: A
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 9 P( [, Q1 I/ t( D4 P6 p1 M7 {
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 4 \; o% n$ e1 d5 p$ N; E+ {
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ) d' Y6 c$ r! [1 d. {
flock, will you give me one?"
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5 v8 M: `$ v/ ]+ {3 i" qThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his * u. S1 ?( B" @" ?% }+ s0 X
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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" U0 j" ]0 s$ {* H2 @/ g: B! C4 x+ K- AThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 2 ^( i! c' Y: P+ O1 A  @
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ) u: s! S" G  r
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
, o2 }) |4 q& Y% i! F! ]and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 4 g, U, v1 s8 o: l4 E
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
" I: p7 Z! F* ua 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
& Z: @' ^' S* P* W1 Ssays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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3 D1 ]* x+ n! d& @He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
. ^: f4 B, S  @3 W; y3 d- r& |" D4 Lcar.  s% Z0 [3 k% d* V/ P- d- l
& h" u. w1 N1 [9 _- x
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
2 b7 ^3 b2 {0 q  a8 x" ?; Cis, will you give me back my animal?"- L- l& O! N* ]: m2 ?1 \0 B
6 i- @  x, C* f* w$ S
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
4 C) B, {3 n& e0 z
) Y4 M. C2 e; N, b! b2 r"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. ' O; C, G* x- ~
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"9 W% r+ a* Q2 N' }0 j- h4 P
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
  g/ \& }# |0 L0 n: }2 }nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a % r: [) d4 V" L5 I% [( Y/ Z
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
/ q# @% q. T; @& s2 m1 b/ m- Dme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ' h% B+ m8 x( W) {( R/ W% L/ m
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". . r- P; p$ @0 k. O5 e# D2 U5 I
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
% f# k- Y' v% Emoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
' m/ [3 q* F0 W: a9 rwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 8 l6 W9 J5 s5 h, [) o$ D
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
. f* {5 y5 @3 g7 ?" s* Oher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was $ s- \( \7 U9 }7 B
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
; K  r# w& d  m$ ~6 e  Jresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
1 p. ~$ O6 u% z) j3 T8 l' |2 }- mbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 5 t7 a) u6 a. q7 j5 Q( ]8 C( u+ |
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. : I: Q, e: @9 \9 [* i

! [' T+ `# }0 Y* `; C- b0 F- MThe first man married a nurse. % A( o# y: I7 O" M# b

$ Y# L7 W. y' c. @. J8 j& lDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
# y% o: [1 f  w) Z# C" M7 CNurses are known to be hot to trot".
" F9 v1 @/ ^7 q* ?# s: f1 p5 j0 J: ^
; f* v$ i8 j8 b- A! RThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ! D# R# i. M; q9 u9 X( ^3 {
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
4 _- @5 m4 a7 J# ]% e% R9 hbutton...A-bomb.?6 ~& s; u( l. Z

; o1 b( Y' `7 r* |, z% LThe third man married a school teacher.
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$ {1 A5 S3 t9 }$ {3 w5 l) Y& sDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 7 v  l+ s- }% s! V, k
but teachers are just too frigid"." G1 f3 M0 d' ~- Y. K
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
, u( B# F" {8 F- C) honly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two / m' B  u6 f: b" H& D7 o& y
would call much later in the day.
+ f2 i, |$ O+ M$ ^, x5 e0 ~
- X- T( p% I* `$ nAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
2 K0 q4 k# ]# L. ?! F+ Ynurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's " E& l$ ^, T* [! {3 F, m
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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! _: k$ ]4 Q' M- vDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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* m/ N; R2 V( x2 Q% wThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night $ A, ~, W; s7 Q
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
% i5 K# ?3 I& Z  B/ _as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
0 q0 H! j  _( f; o  S4 z" \in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
8 }2 N( [0 c' O7 ^, ?# ~1 ^7 Q' u3 j
# w- E$ o7 @5 S2 P! Q: i1 ADave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
; L4 [0 n( N+ y" T: L! A- m, `their voices."
( h+ r3 [& p9 ~0 O
* E' r9 z" s) {7 I5 UThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 9 A9 l7 j1 a. L3 g& @9 r
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
9 c/ C% J0 c1 U3 l: qthree minutes are up." 6 S7 z( j0 w3 V) p

* q8 U. G% T2 {6 r# Z8 _; o8 zDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
- i7 \( v, y, f  v! l" Lcalling any minute.
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1 Y* [' r0 V6 J: n) FFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.; Z; Z! T. a8 p9 [! q
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 5 ^3 {/ V+ ?& @! S8 t
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
1 x% U( d) z, V% this boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and " [5 ~# m, B5 H. K; i% Q0 |/ i0 ]
legs.; q$ W9 z( Q4 A9 V. d8 D

+ d) v8 u( w( uJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
. D4 U, D0 u3 L7 x3 ]; g% lfight?" / L) F! Z4 V' ?' M
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 7 D5 a% @; f1 a& i6 ^$ `4 E% |* c# }) f
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ) H" V7 i- f/ W
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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