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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new $ F7 k2 D# J3 G; W9 `
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a : F5 T$ F5 I7 l: ]; g! [! T1 h
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
9 s7 Q: b; {9 e3 xand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
3 L+ O" d- n% n+ w. uflock, will you give me one?"
3 K0 }. o: I  C0 o* [+ u0 Q( ?. n
4 J% o  i% v8 l( @* xThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
5 }9 H4 q6 f' c0 ~, x6 Vpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a : j2 [' B4 `, o  \" M
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
( E* [; h8 P9 _GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
; p& o" ]8 X# Wand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 3 `; X5 I+ e1 @8 h* U0 r
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
: f, R3 z' b3 S- g) l9 ]a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
4 z6 R5 R) C: F% Q( W1 p1 R# Bsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
1 `- ]3 {6 {5 A  u, L* Y* @5 T& ~car.. }# r! m9 A( Q" M
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business $ D# X' A: k3 t: A0 y( ?" m( o; r0 x# Y
is, will you give me back my animal?"4 Y$ _/ G( J7 I/ A/ ~8 z2 m
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 3 P2 A7 |5 ~+ E; ?. E- }

$ S) t) L, \: {/ N9 o) J  S"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"- \+ _5 z2 N8 m( A2 q
0 Y  H% l6 o8 z" J- Q  ]
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although * W- J' @$ {7 _3 ^( Q6 u8 Q7 o/ m
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
; B$ r% @; p5 u$ _: }question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give   k  H5 h% w; K3 `. u, L
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
, ]/ z" F" h4 I% z0 ]) I8 _  V/ l1 vundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 4 m. D! l8 F  r( G
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 9 a, G. x: R& s! }7 H, }1 W8 y+ k
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
2 [) W6 g) ?/ k0 |* Rwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 0 ?# M0 |5 h& G+ T% E8 |
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
/ x+ T" V. Y* p3 pher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
3 v+ t6 G6 x$ o! Zopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 1 t5 C& B6 R- L- }
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 5 D' ^: v: }* g; {* t2 g
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 4 ?% X1 H8 N% q0 W! u, B- u
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 7 M4 L! T8 U6 o1 B
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The first man married a nurse.
" ^2 v) f1 ~% ~9 i+ b- w0 a7 T1 o" _. B; V" T: x8 v9 J
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
& Q7 ]0 {0 Y& z5 Q8 n  g3 v, }# mNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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/ _2 O, q& B, b% a1 `+ t! R9 zThe second man married a telephone operator.
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" B$ V# ^4 ]; JDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
( {' m, C& {) w1 u" c) q# c) W# sTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top / Q: Z+ U: @7 O- u+ W
button...A-bomb.?* H8 ~5 i9 B! o7 C# `4 s

& _8 t6 @+ N# J; g! k1 HThe third man married a school teacher.
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, `3 Z- p3 ]0 X# Z+ v, kDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
( O; J' x! ?, e! d6 Vbut teachers are just too frigid".
" k: U& E, P8 c! f2 K' {( l6 [1 F
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
+ u2 w( e; m- W6 \' [9 P' aonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
! y- R% v9 f% h# C& qwould call much later in the day.7 ?- {2 _2 T. u  c6 W4 ^) u
+ f( E0 n' h* z9 ~& t# m
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The " l* ^* P5 Q/ ?: z* U6 s: ]
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
/ H2 t2 v9 r5 Y1 k( r9 f( ]pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. ! E: d4 A: L# Z0 |  c7 @$ g
$ P' u* ]' Q. z" i
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
+ @( z9 j' w: `
7 O+ Q% x/ |: v% S  w" KThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
& b5 k* e( {' \6 }! Y# Gwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
% A/ a7 R4 }6 O- l1 q# i+ R3 H9 o; U# u7 j2 P+ H% k( i
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.% f. G3 Y5 A5 o6 e; w2 I# c

' q+ J) Q' R  fThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast , f/ [$ x6 N6 w7 n0 M" R
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 6 t! A% o# M1 X8 X- |1 Z
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.1 n3 W8 f: Q4 L" o
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ' N# I, |* S* o/ C+ v6 y
their voices."
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4 X! @, X. t4 ^( j, F5 K5 `" q9 XThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
# k$ {* j. S, \+ R2 @% h7 Rheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
! I5 n5 W7 e$ M) o" athree minutes are up." 7 i; `' {0 d3 U( g0 w
, y/ t) l7 Z8 b. Q, ^& m+ m4 m
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
  |: `  w- B3 v# W& mcalling any minute.8 \# |5 T7 o) q$ U4 d3 X! ^

6 h) j! M1 U: ?* e3 a6 m0 \7 |* CFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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1 s2 ?2 u6 Y6 K4 S- _  mDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
) Z: d$ E4 P1 v( E7 _0 T: uman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
7 @. `6 Q- r& l! V; x% ]7 Y4 t; _his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and : |$ y! D3 K1 }* ~
legs.% L  R# O4 \) M5 V% r: H
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
3 ~" J# p. L: c7 A+ Tfight?" - B' ~) ^& N. M2 u3 {- l
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 1 }$ v8 A6 ]2 |# N$ t! x
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
+ P( u+ R( s* X$ U6 h7 K+ ^are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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