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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
  K8 ?- d/ z+ L) o' IBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a , q3 f, ^& R# b* \) R
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
6 X: o2 h6 b1 W, d; t; u) H  {and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ) y2 o: F) |8 ^
flock, will you give me one?"" P$ e2 b+ r" m( R6 m' _' O5 I
8 L" s; R" r  s7 d" F% }* y- p) r
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
, {" V4 ^% E% y; _$ U$ s0 O/ D' ?( qpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure.", U; p! m. m: A* @2 n! x

- H) V5 A, `- P; L0 q. ~* o1 h5 uThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
2 w, f: o" E! W8 xcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
, g- y/ w% \/ ?! }+ p4 h) a3 H$ B$ TGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
3 h! W& r5 G2 F! f( r- Z/ }and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ! A; i9 _3 r$ K. c, G
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
) D5 c4 o5 s4 n' t) v: Qa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and " b& K: l9 o9 ?3 `
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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- X: Y( n8 c5 Z, l. E5 M"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
; b: |- e( k4 R! d* Jcar.
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0 z; q2 F* v7 O) UThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
, {& I' L4 C4 x" u% His, will you give me back my animal?", K& y3 P! K/ U& U$ r

) ]7 c( K6 k5 ^7 N1 `8 j& Z" p& }, Y"OK, why not" answered the young man.
2 k" i$ N/ k& Q" Q+ A8 s, g; x6 Q# T- i$ v/ o. r
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. , X! n9 }) E, s1 V: A9 g

+ ], c, I& L' W  s"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"0 O& x$ {! c9 w
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
4 L# o$ H7 S3 Z( @9 d; `5 Wnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 4 ^( P: C4 F0 u' p! W+ g9 V) h; W
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
8 @2 z0 [% v7 q0 Xme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
/ b9 U2 U0 d7 U; X) L7 ?( w0 Aundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 7 D1 V* R" S. Q8 A0 X% I
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
" ~) w  y7 q4 H7 j0 Amoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
+ S1 F& K, ~% v" w- a; owas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran + K; U8 `: W5 ]7 H8 Q2 K; M$ S
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
7 T% V5 y& m+ R& U) j9 n9 Cher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 7 _1 u8 g4 R2 x) ~. V% y' s. c$ X! q
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ; g8 D0 x) ?/ o" N. E4 ]
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
# B- v/ r3 a8 M* X% M7 jbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 9 _2 T6 E) ^5 w8 L$ h' K' ~
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. " d7 x' B0 f( O) M# p7 e4 m
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 1 }. `+ E- ^& `) ?/ u$ d: C
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".- ?* U6 j: d+ n9 U2 V
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ' z8 e* q, l) K: ]& o5 w
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
- s" A! T- G/ T. S! Mbutton...A-bomb.?5 _1 o6 L* Z: D5 Q* d0 U2 x

, n# m. q6 \& T, v1 GThe third man married a school teacher. . ]- q0 k* P/ V) i

5 J  }, J) L3 w/ S9 X4 \, L0 c* C0 gDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
- b4 b' U6 g' i+ E* a% \+ abut teachers are just too frigid".
7 E8 K% B8 ?1 b0 R5 U6 o  M8 m' s& d! y# A5 r( W* w5 z7 _! t- t
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
8 J* M# m) E/ P, R' K: k4 N9 R4 E7 tonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
2 N% ?2 g( J( ~# _# E' G% M) k0 @$ b5 ?would call much later in the day.- S3 }9 Z( `' l: ~

9 s: Q# j. I( E% {$ q+ J" q, O4 pAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
2 ]: B" g9 L2 S4 dnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
5 b, x% l% O3 s- C) v3 ?6 kpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
4 P* \1 m6 W* G3 C" \: D$ E3 ~9 u$ k' ~
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 6 `+ L6 y0 r# Z! H
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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) s& t% a0 U: s- K% {  f& CThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
% I2 C) r3 Y+ l' M- ?as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back + R/ d4 @4 Y- j' K) R5 b& n9 ?
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.3 d# g0 K, c% i& K' r, s

  N5 O6 [! I/ ~) O$ U5 k7 m+ aDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 0 z( E& g# a7 b0 b+ g
their voices." ! h6 k6 d9 @( U  ]

" X% }  {+ C. }8 r$ k: g( m0 Z" ^0 yThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 0 l& M; B4 f4 |! R( ^" e) L
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
5 t2 w3 y( ?1 ithree minutes are up." 2 b3 K+ |0 p( C
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
) e' g+ r% b4 tcalling any minute.3 L7 m6 h- x( N" Z4 m6 o

  T; a) \2 C9 d6 V  a, `+ qFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast." T. w/ S6 R5 e2 l
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ! v% J, S4 ?) V' E
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 7 D, }8 Z" ~4 h- {' Q
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
* f$ G- r# ~: v: k3 X* A0 rlegs.
* k8 d( ?7 H! \& X- l
+ w8 p" C  }: {+ m" `7 x! x1 D- RJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 2 a" F- C3 G8 ?" [8 t" n7 c; g
fight?" 7 Y( y# R5 E4 j1 m1 J2 _. S
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
1 k7 q9 C2 _, Q/ H7 a, C2 L, S8 [- ka school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
5 R, P4 B& y% h, U" Bare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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