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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
7 s  Y- R1 x3 ?2 B1 q# BBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
3 X. G5 a8 M9 R( }6 K/ G2 VBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window : O$ R) y& m3 j# p% B: f9 d1 n& R. v
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ! I& m4 {8 N3 i6 F0 C
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his , g6 ~9 [6 t  ?. t% `
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
2 ?5 ^  {* X7 s( E% ?cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
$ T3 ~3 V0 V4 ]GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
3 n5 M& z  n! d7 C/ O+ `and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
# f/ L5 r) H) y' E& g& HBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out * u2 W" J) C0 I. u5 s* f4 p
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
: }2 m1 n; t8 I7 z" Asays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
6 H  L. R7 p1 m6 p7 A) a# B! H( j0 H2 l: }0 Z+ G! Z+ A- _
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ) X' y: @0 _" a6 c8 L- d1 ?

- U6 U' n9 W; f$ |He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his + v( R' a: M- ~* [% t
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
" s9 @; a$ x( Mis, will you give me back my animal?"
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) r9 C& M: h% J2 w7 K" M- v"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. + V+ V- x" V9 H( C7 ~5 G$ I' {
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
# z$ q2 q9 L2 A. `nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a & p$ F6 v* }5 O) z7 k  r
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
3 z: O4 G2 u! f, m& S. ~me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
; y" {" J0 G% ^. f0 D2 Q) iundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
! l9 E- z8 o4 p" ANot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 9 J# F( q% s2 m" W7 T
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
; K" ?* A: S2 o- n  uwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
2 s6 u( t/ v$ H7 d' c) ginto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
. u* n; {( O! l5 D8 K% k5 Dher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
, q* j5 [% b; E. D2 X: y, J7 @open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ' o' k" J) U0 J9 A% h
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
: H$ |2 u+ x5 t- x7 C- `  Ebags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 9 J6 [! Q2 X! s$ w
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. & d- q+ b" K5 g  h8 \" ^
9 a. p2 K3 |5 K5 {
The first man married a nurse. " T) O  z9 Y( ?: T, B+ Y( M8 \" m

- g* a% s+ V1 B& IDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
) a5 B) G" g% |% e0 S6 X' `: |( ~0 ONurses are known to be hot to trot".: T8 p/ p' I4 L) H

# w2 R, K) @$ G% y  P2 hThe second man married a telephone operator. . N# r$ k+ p' _& E" i2 y
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
2 x. D9 U& L/ M! v5 XTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 1 c" m* W/ S) o9 _' ^( \
button...A-bomb.?( q8 g# z( C5 ?8 b0 ~) u
3 b) `) i, c  O  G$ k' S
The third man married a school teacher. / Q! [, _- `! h1 e+ K" Q2 j) P

4 B, H+ X& i3 K% ~& K) PDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty - O, E! W8 u& E' O( Q
but teachers are just too frigid".5 g4 v1 d5 b* j, l
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected % D1 Z1 p& v4 Q2 H1 ~
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ; z- e; J/ Q: Z) D9 p
would call much later in the day.# P( n) T6 L! O; R
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 2 y' f5 R) j9 G+ n$ ^, C2 J* ^. [
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
$ W- Z9 _3 F2 b/ r7 p0 U' `pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 5 R6 Y9 l6 d8 ]" m9 r

/ A$ t9 L, a0 c4 n% ^Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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  F, L6 K6 E) [5 v$ _The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
  |) k# N+ z/ n& W% R, Ywas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast ; P/ g( ?' f, u$ \8 t# B% k
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back - }3 s" B9 Q6 F$ ]( X* i
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as & L! E, P- D' ]  A2 ^
their voices."
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( r5 D$ t- B. N. \, I# @4 o. |: @The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I & S8 v( \) l# `% E$ y0 z
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
/ ?' f: W2 @$ f0 `, Xthree minutes are up." 8 Q. g4 B2 k* \1 H7 E0 x/ M

; }. K1 Y. O6 oDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
0 O+ f7 X) e5 H  C; {1 S- Wcalling any minute.
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( y  t/ o6 c# n0 }Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.' j1 o$ s3 a2 X) k$ C1 G3 t

; ]# ]6 C. ~- _' J0 q3 b! kDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The * T5 E4 ^9 Q6 {$ v4 {3 A1 N1 ^
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
; v$ _6 T5 r% E/ M5 ~: }/ Zhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and " V/ r/ ?" N7 E' p
legs.# R  d( E1 q2 U4 h$ v0 C
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 5 f' ?& q( @/ F+ u
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
  W4 g+ Q& ?% u8 \a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We * [7 L2 Y2 u" m7 Q; @8 Q9 c' ~3 y0 h
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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