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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
% G+ H1 F5 ?% T: z: WBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a : v4 [6 u0 Q/ f/ L
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ; u7 m# D; C  w# b
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
( A0 a6 c! r) d0 e4 X# Y9 \. Nflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his ) y' h$ M$ ~' A2 d. q
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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& A6 H* L1 U+ o: S: l3 ?The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
4 h" ~% F  w) ~, f1 X8 N( X0 }5 R# Fcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
& w  }# o; @5 J& L, d1 cGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
. n' p+ m$ u2 _: b. }and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
0 o( q6 A- G$ H& FBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out % ?2 V" v$ T) G3 v, x8 V% m
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 9 I- Z; u+ T. y
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".$ D% f9 v0 X, c) @7 p

* y: q% H: N3 A% b! A- Q"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
, o2 z, `/ A: ?+ V* ucar.
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) F) P! z8 G% L# q% dThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business , m& r, Y$ M" m: v
is, will you give me back my animal?"7 y5 I0 l3 [; r$ P' H0 |
$ ~! j1 H4 }1 y3 ^; }
"OK, why not" answered the young man./ R. Q' l+ G. E1 m
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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6 t% h* k" u3 [/ c4 ~"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"! b# m: X' p. V% Z$ N2 N
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 3 U: N) [) D4 u# K6 ^) j8 Z
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
+ V/ S$ s5 o. a$ Q; zquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
; v, {2 Z& e7 B+ l" x" @me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is & L" ~/ d/ V8 J. e/ x! N
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". # ?" _% Q3 _  }% m' P
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
# S# X+ Q+ _1 P. ]* zmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper " N  ^. T, m- u2 T
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran % M9 i) G) K4 F, R2 e
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into * C7 ]6 P' X$ Z
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was   m1 d5 W: w/ W8 A5 ^8 E
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ( R) R! E' I/ A: r; [& m& y4 Z, m
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ) i& z# Y1 \% G; G
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, & p' P% z. [$ \
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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5 h5 |+ ~2 v  L4 U" w) g8 wDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
  d) q& b# \3 B$ ^( M% f  KNurses are known to be hot to trot".+ b# ~  L0 z! g: w9 f% S
+ E5 Y5 J! E0 E# K. m' h4 f0 M
The second man married a telephone operator.
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+ A. S5 R  z5 s" wDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
2 e) R7 l( `7 ~  }Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 7 {) P0 a) h5 M0 D. J- b: l
button...A-bomb.?3 ]& ~/ R1 n. z1 i+ R
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The third man married a school teacher. % j% c5 p8 @$ i7 |* L

7 ?! T  B! _* ~, r- FDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty & I& r: J7 D$ g9 T/ P3 [5 V
but teachers are just too frigid".3 T  h# C; G6 X9 `

# V: |; [: y) k" F1 W& U) lThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected   |: ^6 G, a2 f/ U$ b
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two & j# c8 V, l( L/ P
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
( j% [  J5 Y; T% Y6 Jnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
5 L! R) r' v3 I* I) h9 B4 Y" b1 R. rpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 5 n* J3 u* N% C( d2 ^

) \9 d: ?! z; W, w  |Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.4 ?& \* E' e3 T# o7 ~: {1 \6 \' B
) ]$ k& K/ z* H4 C% z9 g
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
: m" D% [3 t4 H0 }' L+ mwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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/ [: @3 B& u5 ]6 [The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
8 ~& o) j2 k' u! has possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
5 _( [: Y0 A2 a' gin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.0 r5 C; {1 P- Z8 \  Y

) d  u+ X. T9 a) T3 `Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
/ i1 u8 L; V- T9 ktheir voices."
4 F: e, b7 S. y
# T7 M! V5 t6 b$ M1 f# b3 [( }The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 0 y) w. k4 m, o
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
, |  X7 h% H: K( {0 c1 h! q+ cthree minutes are up." ) J6 C1 b! F, u  }) b+ }

; O, P( Y% d6 A) @2 I2 y* O# GDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 6 X# V9 }# |! K
calling any minute.. ^  U7 U* [5 J8 @% Z

* \/ S+ ^1 R9 Q' S9 J4 Z, VFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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4 ^. b7 P! E3 A2 G- tDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The % f, \& @9 j8 ~+ w' K
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 0 N8 L5 i3 @$ k0 w
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
7 e" F, m( D9 \: dlegs.. v) d) A4 M1 }. g; C6 n. V

- T' N" Z' O/ f$ V: qJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
* F/ w. V" i5 B8 q4 bfight?"
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  F/ h+ d" \0 T2 L! Z, A8 V% BThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
8 x/ }7 [0 Y2 v  ~0 W3 |* |a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 1 w" W% t" C+ c! a
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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