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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 8 t1 a& B1 h- ~6 Q
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
/ |" u1 [. G3 H' k' G) ^3 t' jBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
; c/ a; E! z) p- @) tand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 0 `- v) G" m6 @
flock, will you give me one?"' _+ h  R4 i9 _: V1 U- R8 Q$ U' @' Q
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
/ L# L- @. B" [; T/ Y2 M3 ?peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
# I% O# T  m$ _: E3 t9 H# r' f# F
! {3 h# C1 L4 ?) h4 qThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
# R7 @3 b2 J3 r' ~. }( i5 Y5 mcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a * V  D4 \$ s2 F' i8 T& c
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ; x4 K& |  \0 @" a) Q2 r7 n+ P
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his / }# G* K; N+ n9 P
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
/ ]2 T! f6 X! t1 C* ua 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 3 U; ]. E- T1 [# |$ S
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".9 H+ @+ _6 L8 X& U  J# L$ Q: J

# k4 E* f. C1 Q! f8 H"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 2 G# K2 p5 _4 m  P

( E/ g: r6 A8 qHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his + ?- v1 @. L$ k2 r4 k& B
car.% L  T3 B' r8 O! A

# Y. ?1 O! `  g  {* CThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
) E0 H6 q- z9 K/ a2 B: n9 {: xis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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& c* R  Y' M8 e* T  k* Y, _"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
; k3 F+ u. x) q0 y2 d, ~" D- P& t
: K% ], d  r& |- V"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
& I; _- a" q0 }+ ]% ~5 i: k9 d3 _nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a & e/ r  F" K7 `" t. I( T
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give & m4 z5 w5 w- g) C' c8 e
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
- c# }. D, M6 R: y) u5 k9 O3 Rundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
) i: I; Q9 z& d- Z$ T/ KNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
: _8 q: X) C4 Ymoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 2 d7 R- Z0 _  }1 E: w0 c, m+ E
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ( H8 I" k! K: B" G: ]
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into . }' m- i* R: I) q$ Z9 j4 a) u
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was , N( B* X/ W' ]0 b4 }
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ; R3 e8 w: y+ x  h: }! l. |/ L
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 5 k3 F  g9 t8 c9 Z# Q. U
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
, t6 o. S* [5 I5 iwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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4 \8 L, ]: ]/ g% h) s) ?The first man married a nurse. - E8 h+ v% T7 m$ \, k5 {

0 _) E) A. c, T4 ^/ W! X- x4 bDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 1 g' F6 C$ b; T3 ~6 I% z5 v1 ~/ a
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".& w+ H( U' {) r7 b
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The second man married a telephone operator. : a6 @  Q2 [- t* b9 @5 _6 u, K# P

0 s( h! T( f* T8 @Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. # s, C1 T) |; H; `! R
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 5 E! Q0 z8 w: E8 C7 m- a
button...A-bomb.?
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0 e" Z- y, ^7 w, qThe third man married a school teacher. ; d/ D& r$ r- |# [- G& {
9 ]% p3 ?+ Q& e4 a& b# u
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
) ]5 z( R% y& t. r1 p& I9 Gbut teachers are just too frigid".! ~  u! `7 L- @3 i: v2 t  P

6 ]0 M; v7 x1 G8 b; q; S$ f2 `The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected : w* C- v8 c! b" r1 g) ]
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 1 [% y  h: o6 F7 i
would call much later in the day.' U7 o  @* q/ {3 e' K+ O" g

7 O2 X" v6 Y; e+ L2 kAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
$ K: }4 ~8 M# k& onurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
, r0 ~5 @5 O. U: S; fpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. ) i# X2 V: B0 H! o8 ^

- c5 S+ v0 O# u1 |4 n2 EDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.! x( d/ @4 @" `3 l) k

- S" M, J. q, ?) E0 o. O) _6 U% k, A( [The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night # c* j5 m2 L6 W! H# d* W; |
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
+ C/ Z) J' O7 k9 U' E
0 u, w$ T3 J1 S2 ?! q9 L8 I, Q" RAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again./ L- a) b3 r- ]8 A+ W
3 {5 z: D" T2 s3 v
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
, j8 Y2 \- D, d% U0 E( {as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
' i# e, D* Z% u  m: t9 M& A# vin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.* r4 g8 C: c$ {  R7 @. k  u

! ^- g# i' C! E0 q) u! w8 X( v- ZDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
* E% t/ X- x6 ?% y5 v2 ttheir voices." : T1 S/ \0 U: V# d# R: k

* u4 E" z" `/ f2 Z! n. K$ l6 jThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
6 `) J: z! r9 b2 ]3 I6 Hheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
- @( F% N+ }# H1 fthree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
; y% v3 j$ q$ t6 d0 ?: F, Y! Acalling any minute./ m% c6 Z& |0 J3 W& _  d
+ k6 i8 v4 L+ U. b
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.* J+ I) Q" n6 ?2 A5 N. s
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ! v, O9 Z: ]7 i4 @- A, {
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
' |# y$ F2 F6 L6 bhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
& x& M0 E6 U( U9 m- p! Elegs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a : Q1 r. w2 p2 U+ W  r
fight?" 3 j, N- s4 L. H* d& \! ~: ]

% S7 h0 m$ E; J* {( m  XThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry : Q( ~  [' ^) o' C8 ?* X- T
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 3 F3 ?; i9 D" C+ a% O* f
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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