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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
) `7 U$ K6 z- _% R" SBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
9 Z4 z& v+ T. l& s- q: ]Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window   T# v& F8 s' Y9 [
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
; U  @7 i: ?# gflock, will you give me one?"' U) H4 y& G5 J+ a( p8 i
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
. j! C% E& q: l+ b1 R5 Opeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."1 {. ~$ Y% ~: `% `+ K( @# h7 T

* @. e( d/ {% d5 [: I7 m, G5 V! KThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
5 b6 P% B& A0 ~( g, Hcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a * s( M5 ?6 s/ R# v
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ! A6 g$ t+ v4 i" I
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
+ O/ C9 n2 w) x3 Z( k5 `4 i3 UBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out % p) \  ?7 [1 k$ X. \
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
* |' X4 r# X. O* ~9 qsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
1 w6 l5 r; v# T0 B# ~: c0 M
5 _  [8 U1 D- ?* t% K* x2 b/ P"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. - W) ^" b3 S% G3 t

; C1 A! A; `3 U9 p5 T- [, bHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
  l* X8 x7 v# V5 P4 k  R  |7 K. i% N9 Xcar.% C; ]! M/ J6 O
/ x9 k( m9 s5 V, m  u3 _+ |% g
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
+ Y& s, U/ V& n% N' ris, will you give me back my animal?"' o, t9 R8 y9 f+ r" S" r

- A& |0 n9 a+ T1 _"OK, why not" answered the young man." d9 e9 y6 E7 P% r  b
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
: ~5 f! w+ o9 S  N7 [# H  ]/ R7 j8 M5 J/ C3 m, w, K
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ( m" T# V- n; E) f# z
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
& s0 z# n5 u3 N8 W# A8 Y( g, Rquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ' _) W: B* k- p( z
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
& G' _: h1 P, J* l' z9 Wundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 5 q! b+ B. M3 J& {1 Y9 n4 r7 j! }
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
, ^9 K: x2 M2 D: D# E! Hmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 2 t* f; P7 w% ]8 ^
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 7 M( R; u$ u3 [- r
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
0 B% r! u  d8 ]3 f* Y& `her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was / u9 m9 U$ U- v, d
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
$ h: c- [& ^: P0 ~. I2 ~# u$ _  |8 L4 hresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle , U; ]  R; Q# ?# K
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
: U/ U- o5 A; V3 B% k. twhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 2 ]& ~1 Z( @) P: |  t) E' b$ ^; b( T
1 Q5 |* R3 u8 `+ w5 E( [- Z% A) o  ]
The first man married a nurse. 0 U: e% x8 v: I/ g

0 e' w/ M- c8 g6 u/ M& dDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
: ^% a0 x2 J$ y: b/ ^. {% o( hNurses are known to be hot to trot".
$ H0 _  a2 q6 Z0 R+ s; F
8 v: M: h6 {& fThe second man married a telephone operator. . x$ B% w! k/ W5 t# {' t- I7 G
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ) p8 u: o! ?7 e0 A+ q- K( u. x
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top - @& V; K# K9 p; s+ D
button...A-bomb.?
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( E- U7 u; G. l) o0 v. @! o! HThe third man married a school teacher.
2 q0 t( [$ t6 W! A5 }% b) Z. f1 P: O8 o$ _& }
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
1 i& s" J, P9 O: K0 V  z! Lbut teachers are just too frigid".
9 s0 I% e+ H( K, Z$ f; F
$ ?! w1 ^$ }. f- K+ z) J1 i+ {. aThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 2 S# u/ w/ T$ H/ ]( `
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
6 l3 H* Y/ ~2 L9 V& fwould call much later in the day.5 d- l6 V8 b4 p9 a- M- P  b

; \6 x2 B# G5 r. bAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The : K5 I( M! D( G, [* A5 M& `) B8 X
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
! l2 q7 `7 e+ K; R  ]0 A  lpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. & e+ U) E2 L$ A3 m, m3 i' o5 Q
* t$ Z' K4 ]. S/ L
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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: n  l3 ?8 l1 t9 g; ^  E) E. m* w0 N. ~The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night % l- f0 s0 s8 I
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."8 b3 a) W' ]) [
6 v, ~! P" v3 Q9 g8 R8 [  g8 a" b
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
* t. j- U8 ~( v8 g. I/ j$ k; f
, x3 s) s( f, q& `5 D9 E8 {6 IThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast - H8 Y# t7 z5 L& Q/ T
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
4 Q9 b9 c4 m, l, c6 t, N* Tin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.( b1 ~9 n7 Z8 m! H

( q( C  H: z- S8 iDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
# o- d0 j% [4 P3 `1 L$ I! V2 I% j5 ytheir voices."
3 ^2 A$ o# T+ M% I" |  e
& o1 o. R/ L) b& Q- ^7 N5 EThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I & f' a+ @. F' a& k4 w% L
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
) y! r9 B0 ~* ~: a3 d2 Ithree minutes are up." 5 q- R( a# ~$ g4 {% Q+ k
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be % c5 b% u/ d0 h: U
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.* D, K0 R6 S8 Q2 Z

* Y) p, h) {9 r" G5 g" GDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The % T8 A# b8 Z3 z2 ^
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
. r3 Z' c  m! k- S- r9 z# lhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 3 J' r' D" }  a2 @
legs.' q4 y) a: Y2 p4 l# `. }

( U' W3 [- E0 n: Z, Z1 ~+ c. sJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a # \/ g8 C- d# `- J# a
fight?" ' O2 F# V  d0 y1 f- {

- M" r9 `( |* @6 L  ^" H) RThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry / O. k5 P  s# k& F, f$ @
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
5 k" F. Q+ W+ N3 t' I" j4 nare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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