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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
) \0 K* z; o: ]! p+ r1 HBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
* N& \# q5 O8 j: T! XBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
/ a5 n9 r' I% ]# s5 k1 b2 v4 Vand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 8 }$ f% E3 s0 ?9 G4 _0 h
flock, will you give me one?"3 \2 t1 P5 p2 I  P  m
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his / Y. \) F. `, e# E7 i5 T1 O
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."" ?6 j8 ?$ z* `2 i

: L, `  A" D+ O3 QThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a / u, n/ w2 s- g  J% q% E
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
" p! f0 f- x1 J/ t0 x9 V6 y/ r, ~/ r% @GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database $ o5 Q3 ]/ `% e# @( B+ O' S
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
, x+ j' m  W3 k, t7 pBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
. ]0 x. a1 _2 A. b5 Q% f7 r, na 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
# A8 k* g0 g5 Fsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. $ [. v& R: h0 H) V: F$ w. D

7 |  q; X, K5 {* DHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
6 e8 F2 S! u* x, k  |+ c9 ucar.& x9 `: |1 w& i5 Z9 V

; @7 l4 d1 v# ]9 QThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business , ?2 a9 s& H% _
is, will you give me back my animal?": Z8 c" m7 I2 B- g3 g

2 G# R% u  J& z: W! s7 E"OK, why not" answered the young man.
$ i; u5 j# A& u5 Y* }" ?6 O. B. S) p2 S/ \( |& R% t* v# z+ g
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
+ x4 @# ?, \" {6 O6 L: f( U4 |+ O' ]( L  u& T/ F
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?": _8 `% S6 u0 ?! j
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although - A% w) }( `. U% @3 W9 M
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a $ G4 w, W0 K9 p0 H  m5 F- {
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give . O% h3 C; _2 Y) v& k
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
* Y' {! r$ G* @1 Q: [" D1 Hundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ! L6 T+ I& Q- y# S( b( [
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 8 x' e& f' g9 S
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
( N4 Z3 M# g- y' ]  }  z1 Owas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ) d9 p: G, U  L
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
8 w# c4 B2 |- z& zher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was , H6 d6 B+ R! i7 g; d
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
$ \% C( }& q8 h& M) y" `  Gresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
$ n: O6 ]! e( Rbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
& e5 f# n3 I; P" Twhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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: D) Q) R  x% Y3 h/ r* b) b5 IThe first man married a nurse. 8 ~; H' v5 J/ A( K& N* e7 X6 t2 ?

, {) H* C4 Q3 o! BDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
# M7 D/ m. C/ r. J  LNurses are known to be hot to trot".9 O4 }6 R( [# f

* f. x7 K2 p. lThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
( X' L- R/ [* c: a5 C. _! oTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top " s8 K& p( [5 r5 J
button...A-bomb.?
: ~9 @7 `1 f6 D: Q: t" X3 G3 |8 }/ m% n5 f+ ^
The third man married a school teacher. + ?6 X8 j# f9 e$ _/ D: V" N/ }

( n# n" \# X4 X! }& V' Y4 ^. jDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 9 m3 l: m( v- l* L( _9 t# |
but teachers are just too frigid".
. l& `5 K- J% H$ A
$ \- k3 o7 A, L  E7 @The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 4 Z1 Q- b  m9 o9 m% ?, o3 Q
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two   ~* G- u& q; V5 r) T
would call much later in the day.3 a( h5 v7 S' D2 X- U

, r/ e& A9 I; C' c2 i% n& ]At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ! X  H7 E% G6 m' E' p. \# W
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
  L: k2 _+ B. b: S6 opajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. * f" b" X8 }, A! D+ `2 `4 E
7 o+ ^& o+ a' H' ]8 a/ X
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.1 _6 r! m" k9 m+ ^% e
1 j. }7 x1 j& ?* T  X
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
8 @% [2 C; w( f( J! J( jwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
1 d; A8 s! E# G: r2 }: B# S: |+ ?% |5 H6 ?0 e, w/ \) k
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.+ ?1 `6 J( Y2 V9 }9 P. b" E6 ]) c
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast $ R  m& B- }9 R/ x3 C  `! ~( m
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 9 v6 c2 E" T6 ^4 U
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.- l: F: O" a: W
* |4 x; d4 J5 B
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ) i4 n3 V# [/ p$ u, |
their voices." . l4 a$ x0 B# f3 \5 C- H0 [% n  D
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
  a* e0 |! m; hheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
2 U5 _4 y9 g: e. b, wthree minutes are up." 8 X3 g0 k- L$ e( W4 \8 X

1 F# ^" Y* x0 a# zDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be ' \0 W1 _) P0 J; C7 Z
calling any minute.
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* ^3 G: O: `# K8 f3 a# PFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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% f0 {  {( A$ _6 A5 S. H3 C* uDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 7 A' R& _6 p6 r
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 8 R$ K2 B0 Y6 @" w  ~: _
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and " R/ Z: D' e, C$ _2 x% z
legs.- @6 W$ f7 @2 b4 u! x
' j8 |! {; h# _# o
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
2 e% H! t2 b# r/ t$ L. ~& @fight?" : L9 c5 e, }; H2 V  T

. B( g7 j  ?) `The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 5 v- V" X! u9 m7 T; m! r7 _
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
2 s$ N3 {, D" b, L2 \are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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