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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
. h! O# U2 W5 B% g5 zBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a , W6 ]& ~; K5 e# `' ^
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 5 Y8 w* l: c  _4 K( }+ z+ A
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your : ]; S3 s  [/ Z- |* z7 |+ v% l) e
flock, will you give me one?"2 g8 o$ L3 }+ U) J0 R

! z+ U/ N0 h8 p+ H) R* O! gThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his , }$ @2 @8 c3 @/ ]  i
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
" h+ Z9 K4 P* m' _cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
7 O* p. r+ I+ X; OGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ) q: P8 t$ K! k* Y7 i  q5 X, F( b
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
8 w4 I4 W6 x3 d4 G' ]% P7 XBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
8 @( j6 c5 Y, ?3 U1 K0 K, y$ P4 oa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
+ |$ ]2 j+ d2 S' M  v1 fsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
7 f3 \  m; j' g$ b2 O0 Ucar.. N& ~% `+ c; K3 x
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
- l1 j, O% ]" A* fis, will you give me back my animal?"' ^* p! A/ ]) J. i) }1 K

8 h) Z9 E# ?3 ]' Z4 `"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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9 S1 o: A, [, X"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although % K; G7 z2 b1 L, g2 [( X8 U
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a , N9 a$ e/ f' I( k7 p0 h& e4 S: j
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
3 [4 `1 [( ]6 J- k7 t$ K; Pme back my dog".
理袁律师事务所
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
" c1 G- k- J2 M4 T6 i3 R% Aundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
" ?8 c7 _! b, S  ~4 C/ R+ M+ uNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 8 ^$ c6 J- X( _5 }' r" _4 l
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper & W" F& @9 y' c' o* I$ O2 x4 C" F
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
+ |  ^2 Q8 x. s6 {into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
$ |' J0 y5 _+ H$ `' f" m7 n  kher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was % i  H# o& F2 Z
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
" A5 R: I+ s) Hresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 5 e7 A  U3 @' s
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 5 K+ E+ d; T* I5 D
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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; `- u7 L/ l8 R& ?5 nThe first man married a nurse. / B4 Z: F/ f1 b- |: n$ p8 ]- C
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
3 |9 T; S8 u5 q# I, ^( ?Nurses are known to be hot to trot"., J/ t  _/ H( \* u$ f6 B

) c  v: q  j$ G6 VThe second man married a telephone operator. , s2 n& D, w; P4 d2 Z4 g( P0 `1 V
" F0 v% _$ a  ]: u' e' d* T2 Z
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
0 N$ M( ~2 C% m. e9 z# b- }Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 3 d4 y: w' ?; \" n7 P
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. 5 V  U3 ]/ {! w- o: F9 t$ Q' C) j

0 U* F, b" r% x$ V) uDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty ( f  b# B) Z5 t, A. c1 }$ g
but teachers are just too frigid".2 q5 V2 Y9 G  D: W0 h1 ^5 T% ?2 D

2 w9 \6 y* C; x3 t$ IThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected / [' S; d$ O/ Q3 q! D* A8 t4 o7 }
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 9 Z" p3 u3 C/ V) {- ?
would call much later in the day.
2 F. q* _+ r+ v7 o- `
* x, C3 M9 i- T' y! Q5 n9 TAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The % ~" W" a4 P0 m0 b+ S, W
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
$ q% I% Z* C( J4 k" r" cpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
6 o6 k: O& |  N1 A: {
1 C, q6 w* {7 f6 t; iDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.( s! W- g# R! E) z* H+ e! z, M' B
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
5 G1 E1 N. q, S7 x0 G) ywas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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+ ?, }1 q6 L) \+ A3 I% G$ P2 R' oAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast . _1 O+ `% u& V% h1 d
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
0 _" {+ y& s5 n3 kin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.+ `! t( V6 `! z' }
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
. B* [5 N4 z+ Z) W: s2 g* b+ |their voices." 0 H$ H4 @5 _3 q+ z
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
7 v- G. i2 D6 g, y0 n5 wheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
$ k+ u2 g$ ~% _9 N+ }three minutes are up." + z4 Y) L: P2 P9 t9 h+ H, e
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
2 k, d  w2 L* X9 I7 s$ Fcalling any minute.- D' F6 T7 o( v4 E. T/ @
5 s) @$ O7 T2 b# a5 i
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.. _; R, u8 L1 y$ ]7 X# u4 o, S
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The " \. O( B& {: z
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 1 U- U- \+ q* u' ^  f9 d& Q! W$ C
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and   `0 n# d% y7 N2 i$ W0 o( j2 A7 f+ L
legs.
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( x/ P9 I+ V8 a7 M$ V! nJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ; e/ m6 @' Y- U
fight?"
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1 u; b2 F2 b9 S2 C1 aThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry . u1 c2 U5 f" i! W8 |
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 5 a0 m4 T3 p8 [2 z
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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