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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
( y* J8 N' y( d& HBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
: w6 |; R* |: mBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 4 u! ]# r5 L! \% F% l- `7 m2 E
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your - n- o( J1 Q. Y+ M/ b6 H, @
flock, will you give me one?"
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, Z# f" n: A; b0 V# @' `The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 9 h. y: \, z& c
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."  E6 M3 \; `. S5 Y# d& f  R

% ^4 e: e6 o+ o: p* nThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
0 _- D5 p# I6 k; m1 i* B. Acell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a , u6 s' m+ S5 _0 f" e) y: b
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 7 `" F7 s, M5 ]2 @0 S
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his # k& D$ K; G) H1 N: [( z8 m
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
- U+ T4 `+ ~7 K+ N4 T5 Ga 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
& y9 ~" V8 Z$ Vsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".) f3 ^2 r- [2 n4 V; ]) r/ W0 s% e
% F$ j' e) j  z
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
+ y! f( e2 i( W/ _
) U; X/ R; B: C! F7 C* a3 Q7 OHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his , g4 }3 r8 [6 B5 w& k* ^# @  j
car.' A; w6 B# u3 \* N9 r% G. I! H
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business + s5 ?7 _  _! A9 u
is, will you give me back my animal?"  @0 S- D' v. x/ W2 z

6 \/ Z. T9 f+ A* N4 ?"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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% x! q( P5 \7 ?* F; b# ]6 |) c"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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2 a/ U) Z3 @( v$ P# A+ P/ T3 M"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
  W! `0 S) |" c/ _% w+ v  J& N
. p; X& {& f. K: m"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although # V  D7 H9 V' s' e$ ~8 x) {
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
4 e% W$ N1 {! l5 `question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 S/ H! p. U/ ]' U: C. `
me back my dog".
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is + U$ J) \, e- v8 E
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". & P, |. E4 k3 K/ B+ |+ O% P2 [  q
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ; N* s$ e! m# H) O, p; C
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
( J& b: z! ~: L, q2 a; lwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
7 A; ]* c4 K" K4 l3 `- ainto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
- ]+ Q1 \6 m# \/ ^/ |5 rher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
! Y) T1 S3 b3 v  g" c. o' I0 S$ jopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
  z( S9 E* e0 P$ V. nresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 0 W; b4 V# l/ H
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
0 F0 r; D7 D0 s% Jwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. . K2 }8 t  b! Q! r( t3 Z! }# p

0 w+ U2 P, n& ?  x6 y. J# WThe first man married a nurse. 1 Z; V5 ~+ g( |, z

8 Q- v0 l7 O' Z3 c/ ZDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ; I2 @" r1 W" s2 c! C
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator. ( M& s( U  b& y1 o) B, N6 w  w

+ ^. b4 f6 ^7 T) F. }Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.   ~' O: a4 O: w; S" e4 l
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
/ G9 X& y5 V( ?button...A-bomb.?* W( W; m  R* {! [, Z4 s! t
; K5 ^" F. H1 ^+ X7 A/ z0 {7 R
The third man married a school teacher. ; ~3 U& W1 f0 H7 H' N

. O, c6 q' G5 ]( q0 S1 f+ \8 KDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty " V5 c% ~* z2 \* D7 i
but teachers are just too frigid".  v/ ^" F- p5 t5 f$ Y

! m! o  k6 p! [$ K3 m) `- p; X6 z/ t3 CThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
2 \" e$ c. \0 ?9 {only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
1 W2 c3 z% F. Ywould call much later in the day.
' q3 T+ X: }6 k9 x( f
; Y3 C8 u2 b( dAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
( w# @9 P+ e' Y  J: V! A5 e( Jnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
7 I  L& q: L1 O; X' {1 Npajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
' i3 N) ^9 c) A0 ?( U) L4 e: N
/ E' G$ f. g$ ?0 L1 SDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.+ @* o7 L4 Q7 @6 c1 N
2 M$ {, s' |& \1 G% D( |2 f3 b
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
) s$ |, h  W: X. f5 Y, j" C# wwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
* O6 b& v- t; s4 `! W- _
' e- ^! w- S, yAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 9 u, e+ n$ n/ g9 x
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
8 F5 F3 z/ b0 h2 c. {/ Ein shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed." `) x! V, ?0 z" ~, F  w/ ~

8 S5 I- F3 P, T2 x8 b& zDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 3 P. D  f' O- D- o3 e6 F. I
their voices." $ _* }/ k# \4 d: ^
3 ?$ \4 j6 z1 Q
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ! U1 O" m; `6 L$ s: i
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 0 W! C4 s" ~0 c7 W
three minutes are up." 3 V+ t* S) l  b" {( f

1 f) a/ N9 ]+ w2 S) }* O  jDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
! U- b) e. B% s& e# Dcalling any minute.; q! O5 f* d, {& p, }( w5 ?1 I

+ j0 q0 N6 n+ E, h4 Z8 ^& |( J& pFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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: ~7 j9 ?" Z1 `( r1 sDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The " a7 v$ ?! X, x* j+ S; u
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 3 D2 C  H! ?( c0 L# K
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and / \5 v6 ^" H% F
legs.6 _$ J" a* u( G# x
3 l" y( u7 Z4 n+ _& @
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
% e5 N- _& h8 e6 Q: z1 k% xfight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
5 \* O! u' }2 I" ca school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
* z0 z9 X; S7 o6 a: g; Mare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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