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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 0 z  p2 j9 k' b6 I; o! K
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
# F1 R5 e  g3 ~& j7 Y( N9 V' cBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ) `) r4 X5 L& Y8 |7 E4 q
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your & t9 h, w( g" i; d9 K; {" t) w
flock, will you give me one?"" v7 _' L; U3 k3 Z2 b4 ?0 E6 I2 Q

9 L$ b' g* B$ h( V) m  ]7 aThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his + [6 F! G2 d  L$ e- q
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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3 r( `- A1 s3 G- `. O* p. H7 XThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
) E) Y2 w% g. v4 zcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
5 M! |7 K! r) v8 u3 |3 k( nGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database / ?1 m1 ]) I. s
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
% A) s. k9 [2 R" s1 ~' SBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
+ h( r% T* E7 P2 |. e7 x  x0 l# r9 ^+ sa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
7 f" `0 f1 R: Y1 f9 f; L* msays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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# a3 l, x) l9 i  b3 x8 MHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his # \; K- a9 A' |
car.% A/ \; W5 t9 X3 a' V

- b9 i& B, A8 {5 l9 z0 k! S% v3 zThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 9 z' N* T: L7 e( E- W7 l
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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3 M; R- |! C. a  s"OK, why not" answered the young man.' M6 [1 N3 ]  k$ d! I0 p0 O
& S# L! i* ?1 z! a0 l. f
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
. E: P& K! }7 ?; D: Onobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 8 Y$ z. D, B+ X! @2 K" W
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
( n. |* b$ _, C* a* y9 `me back my dog".
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 2 |0 H% d; y' g5 Z" M
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". : J# f) S/ u1 i, K
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
1 s. u* s' h& r( y) b5 O6 smoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
3 X" R4 K+ b2 D0 `was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ! B/ P. |1 x0 |5 c
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
; ~+ W" l9 E: j0 @2 M+ Zher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 7 E3 U2 E  F9 D5 B$ }
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
' ~, C) F. S! r: y+ C, k4 j. ?responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 7 e1 w; ^0 H0 X: l6 l0 d/ W) w! r
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 2 @" x7 g) `1 V/ G
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ! m+ h" z3 ~& }, e1 L" u
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The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 8 G" Q8 ?$ I5 z0 Y8 H. v& U
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ! R1 g' Q& J7 {! C
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
: I* S# M8 z- @1 q9 t" Q! Dbutton...A-bomb.?0 k) J# p3 z+ b$ r& l/ b# [! ~

8 }! O  s# \. T' g$ sThe third man married a school teacher. 0 |* R4 N; e4 h4 q- \1 w8 h8 p
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty # \' U+ ]4 z/ w) V. i
but teachers are just too frigid".. `. N8 H: R8 U. o  K  B
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected $ U' t' I, Q- n6 I/ R2 Y0 H! q
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
: U8 Y8 |) H$ vwould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
& P9 ^; U7 O; i' y9 Unurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
; f7 J& i1 a- ~! {5 Y2 S8 Kpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.* o5 D; v3 n3 |! P9 \- G4 E3 i
6 ~. r: a. h0 D8 `8 `+ k: H
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
& u, [2 [! r# T% p$ s0 Z/ S- Jwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
3 t9 s6 h. y- d- Q1 o. N! w+ c2 R9 Q1 a9 h. j
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.% ?$ m3 s. z- f/ h

8 l! A! M8 X/ t/ LThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
; [" J5 h7 f- C0 M8 F) ]as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
9 X6 b; b7 [( A7 Z, [1 l+ D  vin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
+ c9 \- v! U' y# D- ]6 H
4 `' E% G; u3 c1 w, H  SDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
1 v6 V- d  u" H5 K/ T) K6 Ltheir voices." , u" f9 J3 n) B
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 3 v+ L6 F. q' k4 q( J7 c
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 6 U4 x' P# U5 J# k) \8 ~, C
three minutes are up." 4 b( {* Z( {+ E6 q0 r! M; h" \  G% }

0 Y, ~4 d3 F& y, vDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be / m) _4 ?& U5 F( r
calling any minute.
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0 m( D* u3 i/ q; a' p! \5 BFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.6 w6 ?5 b# v1 D' _/ ^

8 N- g% l  `+ o" U" dDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The . X1 W7 y- B% q8 q$ G, D7 a
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only , p- v' O4 E7 y7 d0 X
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
$ {2 o. `. z$ p6 M; G+ U2 v  i! \legs.  M# W4 [" ]( w$ P# z6 X5 N

$ e3 x: X( w0 l2 aJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a : R1 {# ?' Y% H5 O, ?4 C4 _
fight?" ' [* j% z8 G; H) K1 O

3 X4 Z6 |/ |% UThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
' Z8 a, \( Y' _a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 3 Y7 z7 Q4 S" w$ j
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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