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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new : A& B7 O: ~: \; V; V* h
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a + g" c; M6 ]1 ]6 h( V9 q
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 3 ]! Q5 p7 K4 l3 o. E( a
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
) |9 \" f/ _  \) @0 b+ Tflock, will you give me one?"
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' c; C) H2 |1 z, R% z+ M6 Y0 SThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
( {, F) n, U/ Y, g$ a" k2 @peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 6 R- w4 @6 ?+ e* V! M) G
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 4 N4 w& L! L5 B. a
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
8 p4 O, E* j7 L. E& n! vand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
' h: }/ \7 l* K4 j; bBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 9 B. M: H; n- o' a! @
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
$ e/ S4 N5 q, v  psays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".; V" w$ |6 I& H5 o3 }9 q+ t. g
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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. p; O6 h- p  d( q6 ~1 OHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his ( q: T# P9 G* c$ x. C" U0 z
car.6 G$ l0 A) R) ?" }* C
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business : s" B3 [* a/ H4 R4 t3 l4 k
is, will you give me back my animal?"! ^, e5 m& |, e2 g" ?+ d3 y5 |1 ~) i
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 4 }5 U' ]: V' r, o
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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8 h5 ?& T% X/ }"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although $ K, G: w( a  Z% m# m
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a $ [+ x7 ~0 Y: K6 D! {0 S
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
* [( p: m4 f4 i2 _1 }! `2 ~me back my dog".
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
% _9 b* v; k2 r& r! c- O2 U: @, xundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
( G- y" ]" F+ ]+ _Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
# P6 @7 o6 |+ F0 Jmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
. {3 A( O  W3 T6 awas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
: Z& g* \' \% V; Y, [into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into - \$ z; S2 L! I/ f5 ]( P
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
1 l. ]* Z- R& uopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
8 S- {. |5 q) f. d  D1 H- j, U5 |responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
/ S0 V* L) m0 f2 R! Q& ^2 Y6 xbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
- E+ O- I5 y2 T& l, t' Ewhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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& g" z% s/ T8 o# b" _- }% r8 p( aThe first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
( E5 ^9 P4 ?, s1 Y/ S! j" n" @Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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6 w8 s* A$ ^* |- H) H; j. MThe second man married a telephone operator.
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' o  `& W3 u2 ODave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
5 D, I% U- l" D9 ]- I- N! l+ hTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 1 X8 w1 o& e: s/ F( C# w0 H2 p9 W8 g
button...A-bomb.?9 o; }  j+ E0 L; M# o5 ~1 I

" {7 ]9 J" D+ |+ n' L# l# [The third man married a school teacher.
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8 }7 |# J& t# iDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
* z9 Q6 F/ Y$ `5 B" h# ?2 T% Abut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
( p3 C$ O/ v4 a5 E8 c# N1 Ronly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two # B( L2 ~' Z" o/ |4 o
would call much later in the day.
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8 N; {$ x( y& U  E4 ?At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
  T' i) P1 E3 t* L( F" s3 W: lnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's * [- m' V4 S/ Z6 L) @# x+ `2 _5 ~
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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) w2 e0 U8 S# \2 Y% [, xThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night # x5 P: I1 g4 n" x# c& `
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."6 v# `8 _. u1 I( H0 w

9 F# _9 m( A  h" X$ p1 [* \At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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0 n7 T  x$ c8 c& c, w/ T# J8 TThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast : g0 F9 Y: I- G: }
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
! x; B* R9 D: Y6 s# v# @/ x" Z) @9 Zin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
( \- n- `3 h$ J# v5 k& M# Htheir voices." - l! k. g9 K: a' i
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
! N+ m$ P( U! z% s6 R5 Nheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 3 X7 O, B* W, \# A, C6 Y3 ?# ^) K
three minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
  l. m/ T9 O$ |7 C3 jcalling any minute.( |, O9 s6 o; k& w6 J' Q: W
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.1 p6 `5 G* x5 }/ P: ^9 s6 n
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
. o  c' t1 ~/ K# Pman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 5 ?8 P2 ^% G/ Y3 u' o  N; _
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
1 O3 ~0 S. x& x0 F5 ~legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 5 y+ U; @( ]& S, ?! D- @9 l$ n
fight?"
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# o  [2 Q; j3 Q8 eThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry - R  B- m6 G, a1 b' B
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We , N8 H9 M$ S  J9 r- o/ r
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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