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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
4 I+ {' Y" z1 J8 @# V4 l+ w3 _1 E3 JBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
; g8 e6 p- C6 x5 a; z( XBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 4 j$ X- c9 t( U4 `; V! I$ a. U
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 3 H8 U' T9 |7 n& D/ C' C! p0 a, v; Q
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
  Y% R, y  s$ \$ N9 ]/ Gpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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. ]9 [9 v' z2 C) n! |, G0 mThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
! V- [! F0 G. e; h1 ~cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
6 P9 L8 Z0 n. K" `- ?" X) |GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
7 Z3 s/ Z& G9 l  T4 d, Band an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
1 d& z' a, X: wBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
. ]' a6 j# ~' c* H) i7 K4 ba 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
8 d* e* c6 X4 c, Ssays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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5 E/ I9 |7 q% r* WHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
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# g6 W5 \# t. _8 j! ]Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
8 d- h7 O9 d- _* g/ ~is, will you give me back my animal?") A! h. T- p# t, s! C- O
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
  ?3 \2 X4 O5 `4 j9 E3 c, Z6 i8 X5 ^2 y) u: L% x: _( d/ [
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. + f6 H2 u; |6 O9 Y( q* ]4 ~( c
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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0 K9 ?. y  M: ?; N3 C3 E"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
# V2 R6 _7 d. [' S' qnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
+ Q/ B8 p1 _9 _) t  M& bquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give . Q3 u/ s" q5 S6 q$ J1 W
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
; R# y) h+ o4 s  `8 pundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
' e3 P& F9 s( o, C- T$ L8 vNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
7 U: L3 e4 w1 P0 smoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
+ {& s5 _! V6 u2 F, `# |3 X) h, P3 Kwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
3 D& ~, @  ^9 G- L7 Minto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ' ?5 y+ |0 D5 \  c- r
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
: J6 Z+ W1 G* i, R9 M9 }open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
& i- v7 Q7 f" N. _( vresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 5 b5 S. B; M2 d0 B2 U
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ; ]4 V/ s7 f- U6 e* P
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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1 U, D( Q. B4 Z" ?$ \The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 1 g& A( p& \0 |+ a3 c, N$ Z
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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( x$ l6 T" w; P* W$ V; |+ CThe second man married a telephone operator.
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6 g2 Q4 {6 Y6 x+ O! Z# ^" KDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. $ U' A. b0 y/ k% f
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
! Y' a7 k$ ]: J1 Tbutton...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. : v) O, D8 Y4 w, N* q/ x! R
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty ! `$ d! o; A  J  Z2 i
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected " l/ B( E5 h1 D. h7 w4 i9 A' K# p" L
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two : a  V/ x/ n! Q; @
would call much later in the day.# x8 m8 I6 L7 k# B" C

5 O% R! W% b  t0 [$ r* Z( IAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The , x6 S+ l8 D. ]2 v9 o; b
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
4 {5 Q9 l! \1 ~6 Q! Wpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 4 \) d* q& ^+ v: B3 F
$ g* P0 ^5 i! J. w
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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6 y9 \4 Z. E' a- }0 s8 Z9 IThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
) ]" K4 Q2 X& [' L2 F( u  Wwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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3 _) p+ `  L( G: ^- c' H; D4 O! ZThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 9 g( \* t7 A, E% }
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back % `5 g* U  V4 w9 _' C2 o& i- c/ {
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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2 V8 R9 h# i) f& A9 j# lDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as + h; [, L9 D$ y
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I , c$ \# m" \5 ]  I3 D4 i
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ! C- A. f6 A# c# r5 [# h- j4 H2 v
three minutes are up." $ u* W( [" B1 ?. H

% O* f( c+ |" W% _7 `9 }7 lDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be * c4 `) D$ [8 o* j, N  f2 Y1 R0 o
calling any minute.* p" m* i" `+ j) h# ?
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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* b- r' ^5 _  E6 SDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The . W, F0 f  Y. \
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only . v* w; d! p+ D1 G
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and % w+ s) S* K8 p9 J& J6 J
legs.
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: o5 g% ^+ u4 o5 aJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
' _: t3 R, a0 P+ {# m$ Vfight?" 6 m6 I! U3 e6 a* w0 E
0 m; b9 c7 s2 U# L: Z! \; u; s. h
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
' H' p8 }# v% Ba school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
; R/ o. E" ]/ `$ bare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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