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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new & w& s6 k$ \: R& f$ b. g$ c( }
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 0 X5 P8 M9 k9 i) H
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window - G1 Q' g$ f$ A( O9 H
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your + @6 P8 m! R8 u# I
flock, will you give me one?"  k  ~; m" [9 ~" v+ P. K! g
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
" _/ ^5 w+ m4 Lpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."  O% q: @- f! P$ m

' g0 l' U- \1 r  }7 \The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
5 g4 ?' F, ^, e( j+ a- icell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
% Y6 L/ m' H+ |1 k" o- `+ |GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
  d) `3 _$ _4 G0 K7 o3 D) J, w7 Tand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
5 x3 H5 k1 O% s8 l# I5 E# p" SBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
4 l- t! ]$ W5 {a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
9 D" `7 r+ f0 m' T: r) Fsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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2 a& V  h4 Q) E4 Q6 H  G"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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$ h' c7 i, S: kHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 4 ]1 \; w  J& L& E
car.7 U! l2 {4 j+ E+ p5 k* _/ x' K

. d/ I( Q9 \, H6 l8 Y" i) L2 {& WThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business + r2 I% f& S+ s9 u6 b* ]
is, will you give me back my animal?"/ x- d# [% w2 c
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.   m& y; u) c; A* a
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
/ c* r! N& }( u, onobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a - j1 A" L+ E4 {! M) v
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
9 Y7 x+ K# t  m% k+ Z+ ~me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is   h( [. y' C, j# d3 y
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
& X( _: p* o  R; h: XNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 5 h6 e) D' _! a" Y8 b: }: S9 Y
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper & J' t5 i3 N: a! w
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
1 X% `3 v7 s$ Z2 R8 M- O% ^# Ainto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ( ?9 i) D# t. n+ [% m% J
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was $ b$ S. f5 |4 g$ s' h  ]: p
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
) f& ~+ b: u% B, wresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ' C# s# j6 c3 a* _* ^
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
3 c' E% v! n: h4 r, pwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. " M% k7 @7 g# \7 `8 c- h, i* P- I5 [
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.   v$ p; z) v2 b6 I$ k! W* R
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".* A1 h1 f! H! ?6 ]: Q3 F( B# j

3 ~, Q3 r; E2 I8 s8 hThe second man married a telephone operator.
  [5 N" t& e# S7 b( H# r- d
, o/ ]0 F' L7 cDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 7 [# J6 G# n1 \9 j! P
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
: g, g$ g* r: |# ~2 C! Kbutton...A-bomb.?
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* i6 R1 Z1 _2 T5 ]1 g' u3 IThe third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 9 a% \2 Y) M2 ~1 C
but teachers are just too frigid"./ H# ?; g6 L8 C

% n* V' A% h' B% V3 h  g9 v: p8 uThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 7 Y; S. `( f' `4 A! s! _4 k
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
" D. K; \0 K# u' H3 g$ A" awould call much later in the day.0 ]  ?& ]1 j- W- H6 C

) X* V- T+ |* h5 ?0 WAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The * v- b& e8 z: `8 \, i/ J
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
$ R+ G7 g: ~; R- n- X  S, gpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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4 G# p, k% v6 ~, j+ n; H) s. uDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.* v  e# O% _3 [. z  R/ @% o7 O

* S* g/ E1 ~% kThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
. n+ w# C) x$ J; X2 Qwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."+ I" ^6 D4 C2 c; k

9 Z! ?8 I1 n3 V: j) r5 A' ]# FAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.  j9 c) \4 |, q+ T

# K* H1 a- Z: o4 w# e, V% t5 _- c9 sThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast $ r& c3 C. l# k9 N* B
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 9 U. V% ]7 j: P) c8 v6 d4 i2 F
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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6 @8 t: b$ M. D  iDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
3 V* b( V, f4 c. `their voices."
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7 ?- o) [- ]% G: ]  pThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 5 ^2 v  h& g0 s' w. A4 ^5 v4 H
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ( B* @* \: F. {* T' q
three minutes are up." ) H: ~! p3 S3 X) ]  K- G6 U+ y* r* w

7 M. O8 D; F8 N& [. kDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 6 h- p. F$ _2 }# f
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.9 {/ f$ k& L& F: Z

. R0 A! Z0 K; W8 l5 ODave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The . }* W7 K" q$ F
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
! D8 B* f6 V( Ohis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 0 c$ |$ m' x/ l: M6 {6 u4 I- h( Z+ Y  M' e
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
& k, I- n$ H5 P* o. T8 `2 S: xfight?"
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& I+ e0 X5 N5 l2 n+ r7 G5 C  [% b  JThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
5 ^. H6 x/ d3 a7 T  [; _a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We # y8 b$ P# C4 k# N$ W' }2 t3 Z0 K
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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