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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 2 K* Z- H; j! S2 D- n) l
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
, Z+ R# m/ W  _Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ) C$ Q. k# N( }5 k
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
5 j1 Y  S& K: r+ T- s5 aflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his $ M. m$ r5 B- ~% Z& F) C
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
% R. q/ ~2 w" w: i! Ocell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a   c5 y% _/ u; R# s
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
0 V5 n8 s- d) j0 sand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
% K8 Z7 g) @) X1 \6 w2 G: @Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ! d0 ~: B4 a$ |8 h
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
: t" P+ N/ [# ]+ c( D8 nsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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1 M* D+ r& `5 z9 b" _" m"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
! Z* n! M6 _, E5 ?$ w& jcar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
8 }0 T" u2 X3 Q) Yis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.# A  g2 R3 j$ |9 h1 b" z
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. : y, ]  r! @6 l8 K$ [
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"( }& K9 B  L- K& L

9 n& d7 q: p$ I$ J; }"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
. D$ `/ R* n' z; m8 X7 ?8 wnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ( b: ]! y9 R3 \
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
, b2 J. N; h/ S+ mme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
) n$ X$ n, S2 T8 X+ L! eundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
' E) k' T* ~6 j0 x$ HNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
' v' D. H6 B! t! ~moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
- e$ S' R5 J9 @4 A% n6 ~4 ~  ^was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran $ ?) @; j2 b6 Q
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 9 n: f, A' l+ u
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was ) C9 z  D) u' a
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
4 A" `. ?( U+ r% {& O9 Dresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle $ C3 Q! O- G# O9 T0 E
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ( x8 w% ?( I( T3 E$ D& {" S7 x
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ( T" E7 ^( e( G& X" i3 M9 I, x
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The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 2 i" P, @. R# k  V4 `
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".% _9 ?! [: ]7 f$ g. E4 `, [
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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0 g) o# n2 x! Q6 D9 oDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
- _1 [2 L' n( M0 F; \* J" {Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top & G8 j3 z5 s5 d. m" l) z& f2 S
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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+ S4 y3 H9 M6 `7 F. rDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
  g5 [: }+ l) B2 ^6 ]: G7 x. sbut teachers are just too frigid".' t1 s6 C' m( g6 v& |4 ~. Z

1 U+ O. T6 u5 o8 f8 F$ OThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected % X. [, }% y- E! `0 k% a+ y5 J
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 7 a6 F, G' M7 ^4 E
would call much later in the day.* @" I) e8 R! i7 r" d& o1 r/ {8 N
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
8 v5 _3 Q* d$ ~1 rnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's * `4 |  ^9 Y# ?+ A
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 5 s$ \" D! ?" a0 ~4 t
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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+ g) {+ J' u, `" }- zThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 0 V9 p/ f$ x  B, b- J! h9 K
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."" ?3 I6 V$ X, u5 P1 g3 Q: v
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.# y9 P9 s2 P$ {9 T' O! ?

6 a" B$ a4 m8 I: w6 HThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 7 V/ _7 w4 B1 N1 O% u
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
+ H$ \! C- @' _* win shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.( N5 m9 I5 k( G5 |5 x, `

  P# A2 ?; Z. L+ d1 jDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
: J$ E5 i1 G% E6 Vtheir voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
* c, }; u1 F4 I% K( uheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your * R: H+ o7 k9 j
three minutes are up." 1 N! f/ ?& U% Q' u9 m( {8 Q
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be & O4 t5 B4 L/ Z% a9 i, k8 V1 g. t
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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8 x" l' X# {4 i* GDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
0 d4 E: W8 ]+ R5 r1 Y; @- jman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
$ T0 }1 ^1 K' H9 Ehis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
. Z$ Y8 {( N: Dlegs.& ?- i  c- \8 i( T# N$ w
" i5 J! @  z& l% R. B; ^) v
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
+ ^. w+ k% t( Q# ?: K  F( dfight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ! E: P1 I8 W5 e! i0 w
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
- l9 o9 u% y& r7 a0 @: mare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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