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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
% u8 y4 [( I, R3 b0 O- bBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a ) Q$ e& `0 P+ e& h+ U$ `: f. t
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 1 W) |5 T% b% j3 I9 a4 K
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
  w1 t* S: l  W( w/ G/ bflock, will you give me one?"( E9 b" r# C1 o5 |1 r3 L& o
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 6 N% v/ L. m- F; x+ p, z
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."! E; s5 B6 o. K# }2 H( P$ h! ~; N) X

* i* b, c# A* t7 DThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
' i1 Z" a+ q+ @. d3 }cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
7 d- T. C$ c* P% T! H0 nGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
# V' J/ a2 p0 j# M  {and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 9 p, w) y# [, d' e
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
) P8 f0 _5 \  x4 \! b3 Wa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
! p; I' Z% v& F6 Osays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".' T  P# @: f4 S7 u) T* [( I9 ?2 {# Z

3 x0 M+ Y0 Y) P; J+ o% l"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.   Y; W' p/ P0 F$ B
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
4 A: H; n) ^# Ocar.
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$ P& L# o' }! c/ _Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
4 G! _  ^& g6 b# Xis, will you give me back my animal?"
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2 o* ]4 a$ o; l; t"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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! y% ]* f4 S$ `* I8 K$ g* y  `"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 7 S. J) J* i0 V" {! ^" K
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
7 g2 t* u7 M$ l3 Q( ?1 pnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
! L+ L7 Y9 c7 U5 ^2 ^question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 3 e; z8 O! Q# A" s9 a( j9 c  L! b
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
% Q6 ^- [" q0 F7 Z- g. v6 {( fundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
& z$ f# ]7 c: B2 C# S, B# {4 L7 ONot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few * @  M9 y9 Z# F9 A$ h3 \& o4 p
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
0 E# Z2 q- b( `8 s# K* A- h8 jwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ( {4 f+ n2 X% }& u
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
: G. S8 _4 {* [her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 9 x& C4 x# B1 U2 x$ v  l; e
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
2 I' u2 {: Q. W( g0 `) P1 [responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
( X" a/ R6 W2 x- m! Jbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, * j  m' ~( b% h; V
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. 2 f+ z* X4 {+ o. `" ?7 @  w! q+ F

* @  r8 r7 Y$ \1 G& x% c2 vDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. % M' g7 s" t* d, x2 E( G
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ) z% K. b2 i& ?5 t! e# ^
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 3 i4 H5 {2 i! [( V( E
button...A-bomb.?
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5 k8 d" ~6 v  M) _/ n8 H. lThe third man married a school teacher. , u% p4 i9 N3 _' Y' E

! L) @2 O2 @$ r+ m6 n) `; vDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty - t. k/ }: @4 \$ @3 ^5 w
but teachers are just too frigid".
& `# H" p6 X( ^  D( R! ?9 |: x
  d* m) |7 h6 H( v; XThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
7 z! H  a7 j; S4 H% X  W$ x) b" Ronly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
( Z( q$ |$ s! ~5 T: Jwould call much later in the day., ~" ^4 z+ f9 N

9 l# x- J. O7 p/ \7 M. L; K% R0 mAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
  g7 H8 b& N8 V  s3 s. Pnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 3 z% S0 k# |% E: ]9 C( Y+ t6 H
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.   m& k0 ]* i* |7 j: X
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night ! J6 z# Q& ]$ W$ y6 _% K6 T
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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3 G; Y  n: }% WAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
1 d( f7 G$ m* M3 _) `* G  B# Y6 oas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
) W. Y- M3 O7 Bin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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' r) E% H9 p+ X1 N7 b& bDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
( t( E: q7 `3 q# m$ J) v( e  stheir voices." % x: u2 ]  G* P# [

" t1 N3 a7 \( TThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ! {  L  M% D( }) S0 F3 s
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
) J6 X6 n, l+ mthree minutes are up." 5 z  O- @# ^; K! d' t
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be , W9 D  o; Y7 p8 x9 A* M  J4 r' y
calling any minute.' K, w3 U1 `& J4 |

; g. d( x% j2 A  D! N) TFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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8 w& g1 n  X% q. xDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
# `6 P# W& f! g9 X1 n% ^  y2 ?% j7 c" Uman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 4 ^: n! |9 j; T( y# X  I6 K. W5 M
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 4 z2 r) V( r1 L+ T+ u' A2 ^
legs.
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$ ]5 O2 Q9 U5 |! j5 b4 J9 U, XJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a   r5 l& A1 ?1 u5 u
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
2 X7 X0 Y6 k+ c( ga school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
1 C5 O% X% d: U" l1 G; m6 f5 nare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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