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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new / ]" _- }1 D# Q
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
) i) E( E& m: N, E' B! X+ b9 o1 ^Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window . T9 @1 g7 u' u# |
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 7 n8 ?0 D9 R6 P# h4 H
flock, will you give me one?"' Z% G/ ~2 L% g# w- ~3 d4 E4 T

! O+ w' `% ?3 I( zThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 9 z) E! d6 M& i- u6 M' j
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."' W- I, I  {, s, q& w! i9 P5 ?

; N9 T: O3 k4 N7 Q8 e' H) D  DThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ) j  D1 k" W+ i' b  z+ A! R
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
9 |( ^- p; A7 y! A! D' |' H3 jGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
- t5 h1 _9 }8 k: j$ D8 J& z$ Eand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
# C7 |3 T: \0 W& t6 g0 XBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ; t% W5 U# Z0 X
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
0 ^; ]" ~% d2 W: _: usays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".3 V" P2 m% \  H( e4 q$ X

$ e' w; Z: [( y1 O  H1 _! o"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 7 b# \5 r: c/ U
, z) l/ ^$ ]/ j" D$ o
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
# r9 D1 A' j& H) A, w$ mcar.) _0 L$ d- P3 S7 a7 p! J- b6 a

# X2 W; I& ]0 M) EThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
( F" L- ^1 @8 vis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
/ d' j) ^- {5 J4 N% Z) X' ?5 [% Y8 n) L( ?4 G  F8 n( n
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
# Y+ w0 o7 q& Tnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 8 R- t+ T: w8 `) `, ]3 u# q( R
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
1 G9 V/ L; h! i8 `# R$ k- H7 T5 ome back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
3 B- ^! L5 W1 s* I0 Q/ zundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 1 |& r6 P# t5 ]& U( ]+ o" M  q  X- J9 k
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few + L; A; G$ C3 W1 W, n6 e
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ) u& L6 ~5 [6 E$ s  @
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 0 H! g0 h7 n2 r1 r
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
7 W1 e0 d* ]. J$ U0 C+ gher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
& U% X5 w. B& l& B  P" h, U0 zopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman $ W1 j, S2 c; L! R4 T
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 1 E0 j! R& I5 [# T
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, % H+ j& C8 U' F! I' Z; l! C& {
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
2 i. k/ y+ b( I: o( h* k1 h3 F# R& O! \% {4 T4 A, \
The first man married a nurse. " |8 W% k( ^6 S/ Y4 P. u# X

) Q  e" V6 b. n2 i6 SDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
6 _* A) f- C: }' INurses are known to be hot to trot".. M6 O: e. H5 b2 W' k) U
) D% Q( m% x$ H# K* N
The second man married a telephone operator. , d/ j- ^- t; X. @5 H0 E+ h

1 q* K% g, ?. t! @; E0 |' c. cDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. " x8 ?- N, U3 z! W
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
' g- d7 i* d/ o* |8 T% F+ lbutton...A-bomb.?5 }; P! x% ~$ L% _4 Q& }: M1 I* a" F

: m' d2 G1 W% x  Y! g7 [4 k6 ^The third man married a school teacher. $ N' F8 h$ {1 t) }0 d
+ ]% O8 N1 x3 A" j; v2 q2 V' a. [
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 4 J( K6 g7 V4 E+ I6 t2 g, k
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
/ ?) {# i0 [( n+ eonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
% L2 Q% f; U+ Fwould call much later in the day.1 Z. Z& V" `/ n* O6 D4 T' O4 A# ]
5 V" G5 K" I& A/ U0 d
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
& I. v+ l5 q+ a' c; \3 F& ~nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
$ I- t% J2 R" s. ^! upajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.7 x1 i; P3 p$ k/ a. l

( Y" A2 @. _: j) WThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
' W7 l& G* ^1 n, |$ q: Z) L& `- Ewas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
' W! S9 a. [' |0 g0 _4 N' \, r7 f7 a; V: }" G
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
0 w% m9 J1 m0 I0 r; p
( N/ t/ l3 Q6 T. l$ mThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 3 R/ z& s: h# ]" m# L# l
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back # o0 N0 V; k" r" ]
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
" a, h- y) ?% N: y/ @
% u6 W0 L) q' y) J$ CDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
3 b/ ]- t' F& C9 J; Ztheir voices." % L  \+ V, X: @' p5 S1 q+ G
* Z& A' Z5 [+ e
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
2 u- E& G2 j4 q; D# }4 Fheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
1 w  e& v; p4 Rthree minutes are up."
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3 V* X! R( B* K: c3 RDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
- e5 c& X6 J6 @- i' a. t! J3 e4 mcalling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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# {0 K- o+ P$ T1 s- pDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
5 z5 s) m* j8 L1 j; eman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
& H0 h, ~' S- v' T, \his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
% P% U% S) N4 L! {, Wlegs.
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; K" K: W& b  H) b, n! O* NJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
5 ]7 g% N  X9 |1 dfight?"
% V8 l6 U, c  q" @: ~8 [; x. {* ^/ B2 o+ |% w
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
. t/ k+ i& l$ s  C: r9 r0 f; S4 za school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ! w0 K' ^, F( ^- i/ M9 k* p1 a
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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