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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new - s( d! h6 n9 `$ h' B; `+ w- {3 f
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
( B( U+ W( E7 d5 k7 F5 @Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 0 S: I/ ^3 Z# }4 n
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ( b* B+ `: Q" R4 N
flock, will you give me one?"
# B. b: G( _" O; E# b( R$ ]3 }" r8 ^$ q" y' {/ R# |% S6 s
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his " L: F! f  @# g- F! X9 v% D. ?
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."8 e* ~/ I& E! @( e/ W4 Y

2 I" M5 g/ B+ w) R; }The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
4 h, I! E& [0 _) q: Kcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
: f. h% Z! F) g- a. S$ xGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
4 _1 f( w2 x& G# a% W- jand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his % W3 ~& Y$ ]& l+ G/ n
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
9 T2 b. r( q$ @3 G/ \9 a/ `6 ra 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and # X$ s. H$ |7 K; {
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"., w0 `1 _% P3 j. h

, `) c5 j+ A" u3 V" u"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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7 g* ~; b7 ^* q+ ]6 rHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 7 g, B+ t' C) ?4 F" j* Z  a; r) Y! @6 o
car." P2 N; \) [7 x, s; a; l# M" P/ ?

2 P. V3 m( W! K. @' sThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business : S$ s" Y" x* c& J6 \0 w- _+ B
is, will you give me back my animal?": M! v7 K$ c) k) N; T3 W0 P

! u$ p! O& j1 S! }1 S- v+ ["OK, why not" answered the young man.: ~- x  I$ w  ^0 D0 Q% O6 W
/ ]$ `! S$ v8 _# _- c7 x# m( D
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 1 m  h; A, P7 n9 G7 _' k

4 \1 w- P& |( b+ G* k2 O0 m* k# u7 m"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
( x+ c. Z! b* }. H% `
3 d" O( p- U/ D, C2 E. U* g0 @"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 1 ]! l8 a: M; {, a
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
1 T3 Q) h' W* a  m" O1 Rquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
9 v6 e2 p" R* ?' Kme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ; ]7 a( G2 Y" W  b/ q! u. ?
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
8 A  P2 \# ?+ j) S. E  E1 }* v$ M( ZNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 0 t" g$ `, A& ]) ~2 k2 }# C$ F$ \
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper * ^$ S& H  W6 A8 X
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 7 s: x. n1 H6 G0 y, n' @" A
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 2 C7 U: S; o8 {. V1 _: D% v
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was   j* g# M  W( X! W$ s0 A& ]# i
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman # V; D7 w, e6 k8 B$ A1 j, G' _
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ( ^5 ^7 X( t- H0 S# y& ?% k
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
- d8 j! v/ R/ a$ Z& g8 T7 mwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
6 B* d5 v! r* ~# l, K; R8 ~8 `- S# t1 {8 R
The first man married a nurse. & t, U7 u, ?  P& H* C
4 b& H4 m$ R- B' V/ n' M
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
; m4 o/ j$ I- p9 m$ PNurses are known to be hot to trot".
5 N2 e& v# s5 ?$ f/ h
) j  J2 ^; i# y2 GThe second man married a telephone operator.
" ~+ m" j$ p* h
7 e+ N; Q; _( z; N) aDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. / `0 I) t  \8 R, ?; l% x$ ~
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
  q( }& X' E, u+ c9 r& l8 E1 a* ebutton...A-bomb.?: s) ^+ O/ ], |

  @; ]. P# [) l: L# d# o1 GThe third man married a school teacher. ! ]$ j5 |$ g3 l4 O( H

) ~( r3 c0 k+ kDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
: k& Q0 ?6 E' o% Q# K. nbut teachers are just too frigid".# ]% ?8 ]# d+ p
2 j+ a/ A  V% Y- H9 X# x
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected ' s0 l: S+ s$ a6 X2 u8 H; r  n6 q( r
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
2 ~. `0 ^, n( _  ^: l4 e0 uwould call much later in the day.
7 w6 V2 o4 f: Y4 G( I0 k3 y8 w5 }
$ M5 y  A9 x( fAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The + k. ~6 c) j' G
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
+ \. M+ q+ H7 ^1 ]3 [- Ypajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
: N* m& W& [0 Y0 Q9 {2 S; z
- D5 n7 O& I8 n2 r% h$ l' u2 S6 |Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
/ r4 {; @4 E& ?8 F7 `' T3 y$ }* W2 u
! }$ {$ m8 s1 q% y7 c9 s) ZThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night + b; F8 O/ X2 V7 I
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
" i6 I, \  z4 J) P2 x+ k2 U" i( {' Q5 H+ w4 s4 _
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
! V2 n5 L+ G4 S  e
  \; }% g7 E, @; R" JThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
6 w, Q4 |7 r$ G& |6 Eas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back & M$ i% Q$ v% n# e9 s
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.  c$ C+ H. k  y' Q: ~1 Y7 `5 Z. R
0 l, U" Z& g4 `* o. h5 f# h& w
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as / S. a3 t  Z3 I/ s  Y' f6 h; k" M3 k
their voices." ! X6 A/ e8 A) E% K2 {! ]

" z/ }: O0 q9 I9 Z2 zThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
$ {7 b% V! r* L& w" Eheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
. e0 n3 u- g' V: tthree minutes are up." * O5 V2 Y% \* v9 C5 S

. \/ n& B7 s9 |' U; n1 GDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be , P7 l' [* z, i- _
calling any minute.) ]% g; [0 e0 L, u6 w

( y# }0 s4 c* M- oFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
* M. G  Y3 I8 b  b9 P; t+ h* G& _4 a. u3 g. O. b' r, k, G
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
- }5 h0 b" ~! T  `6 d, Q% z  T, gman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
/ v) x: Z+ i7 uhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
- T! Q, y0 J/ Q, C2 Blegs.
4 C, q5 c1 ~, e) a( m, m
! q8 a: ]% n7 K6 \$ k0 V& s8 c3 WJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a , r+ D- N: ~' }/ V0 i0 r
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 6 V& u2 R7 ~- H  W3 D; E3 X  V' s! a
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We   j5 r* a0 U* R4 E# X3 k
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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