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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
2 d# J% ?/ t" u2 D# L- A0 ZBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 3 r0 A3 o6 `4 `
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ' l3 t6 @1 m3 d5 a) I
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
* F; j+ w/ u/ S/ Iflock, will you give me one?"( D1 Y1 g* ~7 f# z- B4 t3 w) [
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
0 b( c. g2 z8 m  a& e" Speacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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; d; ~- A& F; H" G) m* Y$ M& qThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
  q% a  `1 d* J  I6 W5 _2 Dcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
; V2 e" g5 A8 e8 Z8 Q1 _6 nGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
6 \3 N+ T7 f5 G- J# P, u( Uand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his   d* H9 I0 e, H( g: M- A4 I
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
, f, g8 t% E# Va 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 5 k5 G/ Y; N$ I( M" G" E6 M- ^
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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# v2 L* r8 @! V8 S9 G9 |: ]4 Z"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 7 r* Z( l  Z0 e9 J5 {- V6 Z
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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9 f$ P. F) h4 Z6 g- K! D"OK, why not" answered the young man.( Y. Q# r7 w, B; B- v( M  }2 c% e0 O# l
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 3 P, k- S6 P& y1 e
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"; J3 _* s. m: a& b+ Q( ~: G

( e) r; V9 y- X6 w- t" ^"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
9 F4 F" m2 ?9 g7 ?8 L, o9 w+ Cnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
) ?' H2 m$ `! P: rquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
! {; I4 h/ Y4 S' Yme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
, V7 p' D, M2 c+ \6 qundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
8 S: N1 B! p! Q5 P; pNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 8 U6 h5 O- `- A
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
1 G' ^# B8 `, F8 U* b" owas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
1 j, H0 F6 h2 l- Binto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
8 R: A" o* K& T+ w& x7 ^her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was , S) |; V. a- r1 N
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
2 Q7 l. F8 o( R# n" j3 S* vresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
- a2 n: [. V& ?& n1 nbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, " P8 S( C2 g' }! Y
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 1 U) M5 R3 w% E- Z4 |
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The first man married a nurse. ' y3 v6 G$ f; d% U# ^
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. : O( Q4 A# y8 N" v. @1 P% \; r. E' a6 r
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator. 8 N& Z4 `; X& Z6 w' K( d) N$ u

+ e, B" N; l8 I3 w, fDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. . ?- g, y7 s: _, m8 }7 s
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
% F0 m% h& y! ~button...A-bomb.?
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; k* L8 |3 W* E. xThe third man married a school teacher.
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% i/ h( \% h/ Z9 Q( _3 sDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 9 K* X) T3 j8 J4 q7 w* V
but teachers are just too frigid".
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* L3 ~. |2 W& F* f1 C! t  LThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected ) ]( ^$ C7 V7 T  D  m& G
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ) d7 `- Y/ c; v$ I' a! p
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
# D; i* B5 g& l1 C# Q3 o3 M- |' K" \- X% znurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ' d( F* b  ~9 |  |3 J+ H# q
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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) }5 ?3 t5 u6 b, O$ o/ KThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night " r* G) P" _, K
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."  Q" J- I. p1 d. i" i8 f

* x6 i' T! I. z/ ^) I2 W. _2 {% [At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.4 \6 R% x+ |* R% E4 K; Y% m- ~

$ m. o7 \% M1 M: P1 pThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast . G3 p" Q0 R( F( T
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 6 S# f, n. q, E1 N
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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! Y. ~) [9 {0 }8 b6 SDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 5 ^. G1 c. Y& A$ u
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I . b& y; _0 w* b" \4 |3 \
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
7 e3 b: \0 P7 i& `0 Z9 w  mthree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
+ D8 K+ Z- ~$ ncalling any minute.8 a2 z$ E8 r' s, t

  p2 ]! ~/ q" t( @9 iFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.  G( s$ k% B0 v# {* m
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
6 [0 X* ~- _. D" j+ yman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 3 _7 T' U% C; f1 g! v
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and # {4 ~% x3 d9 t, R: g1 q: j4 S  v! I
legs.7 h$ H- T; M% a6 L9 K

! c; ^9 p8 t- a: FJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
: q  Y, {* E2 S" i9 U+ T1 d, Sfight?" - c' I  j2 ~+ I
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry % y5 Y& n8 o" ^3 G' B' H6 O
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 5 C% Z- @- Y9 p: j
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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