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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 1 t( ~6 v4 Y. J$ n" ]
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
& h" B- a; J; WBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
6 A3 i0 R! {' D) ]and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
# E8 z% Y0 ?- gflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 0 P6 `1 j' ?( \+ A3 {0 Y+ m
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
$ t( X! i1 ^! F' X! N2 I% E
; K; X/ D/ ?$ OThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
1 Q$ f4 P5 X1 b5 I4 F8 E* ocell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
8 x# D8 J* w% x& J9 EGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database % o" M; N5 m2 N& k- F
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 2 E5 `" Q* U( S' x, i2 E: q
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out , J, f- m5 T" k8 ^2 u2 f$ B
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 9 D' `4 |$ R) _# {9 D* L( f# T1 b5 b
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".1 W9 J- x- y0 [

/ X' r# d9 }6 ]/ u"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 9 X, T( V0 r: C

" c3 T" g# ?" VHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
% D& A$ ^- y- V" M- d* B& Wcar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
# u  H$ V4 |. E; M7 dis, will you give me back my animal?"9 S! {# X0 ?1 k' P8 q

+ N- o, S$ g. R+ f"OK, why not" answered the young man.6 H" x( o9 s: \7 k1 o

: U7 P. e0 A! S& C"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 2 N) C! O- j; J. z# ~0 S# `$ c
6 I- q5 s, K/ ~4 v7 x# ]
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 3 `3 t4 F$ G0 f7 f
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
! q( Z6 G) I$ d4 ?! _; Vquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
" s) o! m0 h' d! g! d0 j4 Q8 Y+ Ame back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
2 v+ F1 Y+ j- ]5 w6 C7 S" ]1 Z- Hundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
9 \1 q+ Q& s! p% b4 b! BNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
4 n# E3 t" c' I% Fmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ( X) i; `( V, \+ w5 `$ i
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
6 E- _* i3 f; {5 Ginto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ' j  j- Q  a' S' g/ h
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was : j! E2 p* i, d$ Z5 J$ g0 `7 [
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 3 \- |$ H4 t( ]2 b+ g- [
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ! S& b( M: N7 W& H
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
8 Y0 R  [  V1 C4 q" _% {0 F5 bwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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+ x; x9 [1 {# \, @1 [/ N( lDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. + t  M8 X% o7 Z& ~' ]# U$ N$ k
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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. G/ i8 {/ o1 JThe second man married a telephone operator. ( o4 f/ m, L  a4 c% d: u8 Q+ l

9 N& w" n4 e7 N( o  aDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
9 e3 a- R9 h2 e2 B" }2 qTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ( `8 |/ o0 v( e  I3 e+ r" y
button...A-bomb.?
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1 x; D4 y& }+ a- f  HThe third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty ! v# u$ `" k1 K& u0 L5 Y' Y
but teachers are just too frigid".& b8 o7 `- i1 h( N3 Q2 I  N" i& `, T& c: V

$ J* ^% V) g9 @( g% f! \) ~0 VThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
2 J: V7 K* x6 }* ~. L$ Y2 n1 t" o* J7 Xonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
3 B' u6 i4 ]5 ]) M& `3 Owould call much later in the day.
* e& _1 y) ]2 I, O& K" `
' ~0 J1 B- N6 U3 |0 T; OAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 2 q% Y. ^6 T$ [1 l
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
/ I: a- ]) f# K" d. ]5 |0 ~pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. # O8 h; `5 R1 B
7 E  `2 J; ^" U4 C5 S
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.2 }9 N2 y, X: ^0 m: h

: [4 c% ^$ ]2 T* C0 O; v; U2 bThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
# k+ D# l+ x# k" t9 J$ Cwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."1 K) v. B1 j; Y3 S% y
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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1 V$ f1 q! ^! {3 zThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast   e( p! m0 Q& X( {
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
. w$ a) c- M+ M% u  y, _in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.( e0 a7 ^/ P0 z, g

+ t7 x+ G8 u) I& G) qDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
2 X2 V* a0 ~/ K# Dtheir voices."
/ S3 A5 {0 ]1 D
+ K  x  s$ I& U1 q$ w' LThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 5 H- v$ X( o$ y0 G* k0 X8 K
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 8 \: m# F6 C! |! y' Y+ S
three minutes are up."
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( |$ X' M! L% P9 f) z. S$ aDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 0 T  b4 f$ }, M7 z+ \6 u
calling any minute.
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; @1 `' C* ?9 V0 }- u! b$ NFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.+ A9 }$ M' n5 `5 d

0 Y: W4 ~) B8 FDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
. j  e, V1 y5 f7 g2 i1 D$ c% ^man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only " J0 d7 S8 Q3 p0 b' o
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
) q4 u) O& N8 Y* Z+ b' Wlegs.
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) `+ h% o3 m- qJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a . X; I; ?- B& r" K2 y$ q$ W
fight?" & |. G; L. D  H3 u( f8 w7 \

2 x/ `+ V. ~+ }. T- q5 S  [$ vThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry / D) ^! }) B9 @! Q9 P' a; J! J. ?
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ! M* L7 J2 q2 \) Y: ]8 b0 W( U' L
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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