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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
) Z* ]: F2 B- O: p& `7 M+ i; U: ~BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a   |+ z5 b) U) o* {4 b
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ; A  w) M' R- s  s
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
+ k4 f  s: y; f( o& @flock, will you give me one?"3 {1 E$ D( O8 I) @

6 ^' G# W! A. V, z' JThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
2 M( O) V( ~5 p* z  n  epeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ' ]4 r6 _! n" ~8 q4 X3 l
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a % y+ T* \% i/ S! q; b+ [
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
7 E3 m8 P$ m! Q' |and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
  B5 U/ W8 R9 r( u5 u  B- eBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
% O% y% L7 U6 v- @0 na 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
( a: [# E; ?- \says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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; n! ^; r: N) u8 @" ?# }$ K"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 9 C! X# o# G5 ?2 \

) n8 a3 C0 W# U, i# q/ ^/ fHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
+ k$ y# w4 o# j2 C: `* z/ ecar.
$ _0 D+ x1 j/ Y" C. ~! g8 u7 G  |' T0 i- A, z3 \
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
7 K" e6 E$ c4 lis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.# j. o- S0 z' r$ B" Y+ f

5 m8 e0 M9 q5 Q' ]( Z0 ~"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. . y8 X- q0 k. H0 x- g
( s" _( M4 w( Q: b( D; o
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"/ b1 A/ ^( k& R1 m, S" S

2 P! W  ~9 @7 s7 I% Q# I+ Y"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although + ^& _! j- }. h* {- F
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a & x& D0 j- w: c. Y
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
- e3 V) }' [' Eme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 5 w) N. W- z7 ?& L9 E$ \
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". & _2 }5 s5 I' ^0 I& G
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
, m  _( G$ y  I. q3 ?) mmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper - b! X+ k5 K" p. c4 l4 O5 J! v
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
- f8 X+ M4 w* I; l0 Z$ zinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 3 ?  F4 m- j* Z# B0 p( w1 k( {
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was , Q" P: B2 G4 x. i$ r2 X$ D- ~
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ' X- u& D# }) D
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 8 C/ [5 N2 s# {( A! f2 D$ ^- _9 t& C
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ) y- v# e8 B9 }* N, c6 f
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. ! l' R: t  G$ e7 G
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
! H  X( u% M6 j% pNurses are known to be hot to trot".5 V" w2 I/ Q8 c
: t/ `- ?- a* z. y1 q) v
The second man married a telephone operator. ; e2 W1 ]( _  r8 ?- g2 x& S& Y( l

$ b3 K/ C- p* X# K( F* a4 D( Q% iDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
; {' E) G5 h( _; c& c2 \, s* JTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ; B* l0 _( u) a
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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+ n) ?& Y9 |4 r9 E: V/ J* q& W" y* xDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
  S1 B$ C! H* I* K9 H  L; G" A' d+ Kbut teachers are just too frigid".  g* P1 R. I" E
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
7 ?: c$ A& T# Y; q, b# }1 {0 xonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
% E2 a! P4 E  `would call much later in the day.8 F# i* f: @7 N7 I2 H

( v: ]; Y/ Q* |" `+ D! P" n" BAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 0 }1 \) i# m& U& K
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
5 H9 l$ S4 H0 P. s6 epajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
4 ?8 E8 Q6 @+ L5 I1 H, e
' W3 y. O2 M! o* ^Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
7 ?" n; u1 @% r/ l
+ V% m5 }/ Q. gThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
. b* z' Q$ c; _6 _  s& mwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."5 V- D% U* x) j, i8 p9 r
  x8 H' d& o5 L7 q
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
) K& P: I. ^+ ]as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
$ ]; Y) Z8 I5 D+ L: D% o) `in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.5 h3 _" I2 Y4 a; f  p) _) ]# s

. B* O6 \" }& ^' M: l  a+ K9 ZDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
5 |# o4 {" T  ^4 Ctheir voices."
( I! N6 u, L. T( C. z
1 C" n% i5 z9 M8 ^+ e" h. k- hThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I / l- k4 T; \, x+ D( S
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 1 p& n% J: p7 [1 g. I3 h7 F
three minutes are up."
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8 v2 N+ o7 y: {4 B; h& rDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 2 M0 n6 ?/ ]$ X, Y$ b
calling any minute.( A* m( R+ C1 |! [! ^; u9 r0 U+ k
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The + c) M/ R# B" S# c% J
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only % a" T" z3 |! C
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
( @. E: x% A2 ^" ~7 j1 S* Wlegs.# N+ a: U" f5 i$ q, R. P

9 V) m5 ?. B4 e1 rJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a + @9 t% O9 C. a, ]+ g; X
fight?" " w6 H  v3 G. x" p. k$ \
2 G$ `& a& I- M3 O
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 7 m/ d2 C+ d3 C. Q. G! _9 L
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 6 ?9 K" f$ y  h& n  i. B* S" U
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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