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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 7 C3 Z& C( T5 B- w
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
0 g% @4 d1 q9 kBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
7 T5 v- N" j6 y5 v* S9 c" @and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
, P5 j9 ?: K* }flock, will you give me one?"
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  I& K3 P% w" a2 C. NThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his # F7 d: r: w1 o
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."( V0 S: o' z* p7 k6 T; S) ^
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 7 b5 t7 u' |9 s/ L
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 9 n5 v# G  d0 T1 t: @
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database : {2 n9 q) C4 Z! S
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 9 s& G+ o! H$ ^0 x
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
- b: p/ b' K2 r2 C+ da 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
) W/ B) `5 p7 F+ W9 q) L5 V& P6 jsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".# Q# N' F% y+ G1 i/ A4 B

( b; a) M0 b" k  t/ G% v. P"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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6 z7 W7 y! p9 j4 ?: LHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 1 q! h' _" H# V  A. N# w- {0 d
car.% s- V/ c. h  q0 m

/ x: v1 ]/ Y6 g9 r, S; S: s  }7 {Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
7 w9 n* ^# u' k# dis, will you give me back my animal?"# i' u' Z  x3 l- |- l
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.$ I9 o! L4 s9 {7 d

' K! V1 G4 O$ E. q+ L"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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9 v5 g% S8 O% p  v"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?") H2 z% }: L7 @2 f

( F* g1 D. B) ]$ x8 I: v"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 0 J6 L# c& [) W) r$ ]; D
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
2 P  R' w" o: Z9 {. m& E* fquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give " r( B* L; _: e# f, f
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
$ Y+ W, y! l+ O# @) fundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ' y6 @! f: |( F: C/ `' h' i
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ) I" I# x- K- }$ T) R" D. q. z
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper $ x& P1 _$ |# a7 C$ X" q8 n
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran   E- k& j7 w% s+ J, i$ k3 b1 [
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into # `4 g8 m+ z- H9 P
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was ) v3 i/ {  e! U; O6 A7 T7 k
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 0 j  A, @2 _# O
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
; X  m# ?- w( U  b" H& rbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
& W; x  \5 |# z) p5 Kwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. , ^8 M  t* h2 x, z8 G$ C, r) _
. [* L4 a+ Y2 L1 r( d/ }
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ( G; r7 k2 j0 Q$ v2 U. n
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".' _# h/ A- p8 c/ g0 e

8 u; y; q9 ?& v) F% @9 j8 uThe second man married a telephone operator.
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* C7 G( o! x  N$ hDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
5 x: B- p3 h; B# \. X) q5 A% q& N1 LTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top / m# l) B; c, q
button...A-bomb.?
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7 p1 h8 X" x; {7 A9 T* x- IThe third man married a school teacher. % D0 L: ?( D( ^7 W8 N
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 5 V. M, v( I4 x$ a9 f7 j
but teachers are just too frigid".
1 ^% e$ f5 y6 j$ R" ]1 p7 |
  P6 R7 @; T& T! GThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected / o8 |; {: m+ E/ O
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ) ~/ E) k- ]3 M# `3 C
would call much later in the day.! i; n1 M5 D8 B0 _% b- E2 @
% T1 \3 u+ ~  k1 o  R
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ! Z9 k' i. l0 x* T
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's , K7 J7 p- z2 l! \
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
/ p" n! [, |0 h" o* R  Rwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
1 E' W5 d+ e, u) e/ t0 E- q9 G' P7 a; J! s1 g. G( y! D5 ^; V' K
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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' ^, K' r6 P' i8 [The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast % W+ D# C& @, E
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
. F% I: d( [8 @) Z0 c3 U) u! ]in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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8 d  C- O& v  e  ~8 @* xDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ' O+ t8 V5 ?1 ~9 l/ H
their voices." " ^# Y& s* U: O& V3 @
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
1 \3 r" C, P) z+ pheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your : Y# n  V, `6 p5 r( C3 b! s
three minutes are up."
& P5 w* z/ S5 Z8 w1 @: n% S6 {/ i* i7 i2 b/ t' X6 ^+ `- U
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be ; d$ V" S1 Z& Y3 z
calling any minute., u+ U$ n6 R9 l
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The % [& \9 D2 N2 L- Q  G  ?
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
7 Z0 T- ~, s( ?  F- V1 Phis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
. x  m+ y6 q5 @$ g3 `4 alegs.
, s$ S* |) G# s# c7 y( J7 U4 G: {  t1 L0 P0 ?4 M' |, m9 _- S- Q+ ]
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a   J! c0 P  P) ~
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
5 N- l& Q! D$ Ha school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 4 ]* p1 G- t; U6 q
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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