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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
4 O- l% `: D4 u( I: TBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a " G! D0 r- F4 O4 f2 }
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
& S5 ~8 y! W8 Q; {, Vand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your . Q& ]3 @* G; v& F0 Y; \8 r" Y3 t
flock, will you give me one?"% C4 [' s4 Q) \7 m

/ _; m' y' P! j% ]9 e9 X* NThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his # }- z" b# ~: e8 U, Y
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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, a, @% z3 k- u2 M( N( _; \The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 1 b, y# a, n* f
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a - {' K1 D+ D% s/ h  O6 ?4 O
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
. ]2 t2 i. X: l8 s* Nand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
6 i  v" G( D% {9 R2 M  W$ nBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 6 A9 }9 ]8 D! \+ K+ P
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
; ?6 n$ z: w' t3 {: ssays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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1 r, o. c1 e, N" P* DHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
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6 ~  \" O- x2 G6 w1 d2 a. ?
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
' S* P+ x; p8 Y$ B. P: Tis, will you give me back my animal?"4 g3 l4 ?2 }% W( Z: f
* x1 S! @' ^, U5 c6 R* l( @. \
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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" m8 D( m2 ?) g% W. r& Y"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"* X/ s, \* [9 g6 R/ W

4 J1 t7 T5 v1 T. |' j: b1 \" l& e# {"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
8 ]3 i2 X* H7 r4 x3 u$ `nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ! P# A/ x( g2 ], |
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
- C: ^' X: K, _me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is * m5 T4 z+ Z2 j0 c. u4 K, ?
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 1 T8 b+ g% |3 z. B! ~0 D
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few   `" G% Z( U6 C) F% A" X# \
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
+ {1 ]' p( M; z9 z) Y5 ~$ B# r: A0 Nwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 0 w$ F8 }2 O$ C" f# x: I  m
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 5 o5 b+ z5 L% \2 r3 K3 A, x
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was / W8 \) R7 w* I, a5 }. K
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ; k1 r- ?! s# X7 h2 A; L  H3 w- p" {
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
- ]2 _, i- @% W+ C( Qbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, " x* j9 O# ?8 y: j3 a) G0 v/ _
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. $ H$ ^/ _  `4 M

& r( h0 G1 ?; |3 q% ~# `The first man married a nurse.
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4 z' X8 e& Z) y, X' M) F; @Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. + V) {7 I8 C# s* U* [4 f
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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. N+ ]% t- f% m1 Y% c% RDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. " J5 U/ P) l3 P% o5 x
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
# {" e7 j) u) T) zbutton...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. % h: c  P) V; o2 b- [( r3 n; \

8 X% r, i3 Z( S6 U6 e* BDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty . Q, V, J* r3 v! ?- k/ i6 h2 L# K
but teachers are just too frigid".
. C1 w2 ]' ^' [/ l
- g5 n7 c6 Y4 z% K/ XThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected ( F2 k4 t* j$ @" J& T& w$ {
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
7 e; c& G' K+ I% c4 A5 O' I8 qwould call much later in the day.
' }$ V- a2 t; a" T$ x  |0 }- V1 K& y6 V! s" T; B
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
5 ?6 T  k. g. ~6 Enurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's # T2 w( ~) s2 K" K( R5 @
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
, R: D( x, E9 n  w! x! X
/ P- e# u+ x1 w1 kThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
. K8 {3 C2 k) _( Iwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary.". X- K) y4 R- a0 F: v
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.- t6 v' m. O! b* \- |/ E$ _

; Y0 C& }  w9 f* j7 F, L4 o0 _3 rThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
" R! J2 }+ T+ j# n+ Qas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
- U6 t% I% y& k: B! Fin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.6 o8 B# j8 ~- J
- h% c/ \# s0 i; O& n8 o2 r
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
7 \4 x# d7 j9 l* atheir voices." 1 ^0 u4 D" ~+ ~7 d- ]

( D) F0 p2 L$ I, Q' {. uThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I - Q; H& k$ k" w$ T  S7 f/ I
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 4 p" ~$ @  D# v- C" H; y0 `, ]) o
three minutes are up." % |; b; e: h% D7 u9 X+ z1 D
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
1 l" `5 ?; }- Icalling any minute.9 a! R0 j$ v2 h

0 U% C$ d6 m1 E9 A5 HFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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  D( y/ G" L6 d# [6 o; j, Y$ |Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The   _3 |# B$ h5 M5 N; Y" S
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
/ ?+ M. i1 u5 g5 `his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
3 A& y/ T3 C4 {/ g3 p. Qlegs.
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' N3 D0 o$ L7 S) ~: nJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
7 ^) a6 n3 ~' X$ H/ lfight?"   \; d3 T; l: y- ^' o; j, G9 {0 H

! S' }5 F3 f- j/ ?The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry / B. ?" |9 T: e2 [. R
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We $ T$ m+ ], n+ ]3 A
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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