埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4695|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 1 s  K$ k3 `# X
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 4 X6 t$ y: P5 a9 h+ ]
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window % _. m7 {; G" L" [/ }8 r
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
! D& Z# n2 ^# C3 f2 C! A& }8 N+ f& z9 Gflock, will you give me one?"5 P; S$ l: `! I' z
/ A+ o. `) {# O% k- N& X! w
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
$ y! e- N0 \0 Y0 ?$ dpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."" e4 o: |' t! [5 c
: d: x5 f! M- s  J' R9 J2 j- \
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
7 @, j+ E/ `  C8 Pcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a * r9 u( f% Q# }4 u
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ! O( Q$ d) S; A- U/ |
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
6 ], X5 w1 H$ j5 b) r1 Z- ~; nBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
0 c# {! C" w0 [+ Ia 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and * R5 O  n4 t7 Y6 t0 e/ U$ E
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
- Z2 T* t0 z2 ~+ h: K
5 e/ q! f8 y& e2 G9 A+ X  j"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 5 u! A$ H5 f% p' U* r" X; T9 b4 B4 L

" ]! K2 t" A8 O' I# U* [9 QHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 9 L3 F  B9 v8 L8 \- ~8 M$ \5 ?( J
car.
' j1 H1 f6 |5 x. T# P+ Q
1 B6 r+ C/ A+ R- iThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
; ^' q' y# ?, P$ |. ais, will you give me back my animal?"& @, a7 m3 |! o8 r: g* ~* _' @  U1 a
" r! s$ d6 O5 K$ x& W2 C
"OK, why not" answered the young man.( [. Z) G6 e: m" n1 H1 F
* T1 ~& g. u/ o# e! X4 l0 W
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 4 _/ h! q/ T4 q; S: s5 a& |
/ D) K& N  o1 ~# Y8 j' G3 j
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
9 ?3 D2 a/ X% y0 c3 U& J5 N
! F, P# f. h5 @5 t9 n' n7 J; H"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although , q4 _1 j* d! v. _. _
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a - j4 l, t* n; g) T2 e
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
& \0 W' I/ O- d6 i$ W1 m* Ame back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is % u0 q7 B* s( I, t- j9 G
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 8 w3 K. U9 A  I4 @9 v
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
0 ?+ B$ b# k1 Pmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper . e+ c5 i6 F. [5 A+ x$ _
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
8 C9 {! n9 E6 N& i. q  X' einto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
2 z; x  L& O. q) F5 c( g, gher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
5 [! P3 o) c! i' [; popen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman " D% L* y  n+ [4 d/ }3 f
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ! T8 k: K! n# ?1 ]
bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
* L7 e1 z/ n7 vwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
1 h) G4 D. p: b9 g
( g  S4 x5 Q, @* g' D) v9 ^The first man married a nurse. ! i" W! n+ o: B2 ]( C7 j6 n1 D7 [
8 @/ a' |$ \9 P) x1 J  \7 {
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
3 n5 B, |1 K' L' w" X) FNurses are known to be hot to trot".
& W0 B( j  p" L$ C1 N3 I
3 {8 d# N: o; kThe second man married a telephone operator.
" s, B0 d! t; [  B( h. L! `- T6 P/ U
2 `8 q5 N9 q: Y# c  wDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
/ U; C. N3 G6 d" f6 t! S. J7 L5 zTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ( j; _0 y, _3 h# l3 W" i! C
button...A-bomb.?
( i  q4 `  ?% W8 A* S, O  X% O4 N2 x* Q) u
The third man married a school teacher. 1 |- g( K' g5 n; Z
  W2 O0 M) s7 u9 z8 u
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
1 ?. N8 c$ ?$ ebut teachers are just too frigid".4 j5 v7 u) a3 ]2 R  D& N6 Z/ G, o# B
, j+ U+ b  \8 q# \" F
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
2 X. h) u& V7 _3 ionly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
% Y5 r# H6 p# O4 g* U* X" fwould call much later in the day.' h- V6 D/ |' n6 S9 P' m5 a& Z& G

) x; @6 H/ X  X* a2 lAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
" T; I$ Z; O. i, l- f9 \' g/ nnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
- }' @# @$ ?9 A1 K' E8 L+ ?# \pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. - J+ G- j6 T  |5 W+ @! Z
! W' |$ m) s( `4 _8 |( j
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
0 a2 H: a! R3 T0 C. ^5 J0 Z! V1 ?4 M2 y. }, j
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
* z, w' J2 g# P( w# X" I0 ]* pwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
% x+ q* T$ @. U3 C1 w! N
1 o+ P% e; x; C7 UAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
# G1 ^2 @3 \- \9 W, ^& Q/ i6 c$ W* H& ^" z  ^
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 6 x: n; }6 d) K" B
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back " g( }# f7 N- A6 J- [
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
8 I" ~) Q, ]% O- B: j  V* K$ i" _" o( {* [. N
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
$ n1 d( _) B2 `( q) n- ttheir voices." 7 o! Q/ z  e% m2 Z- e

" h8 w+ i" V/ \; @9 m% FThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 2 `* F% @# m' r, \. u( Y' V# X- y
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your , {! \6 C9 ]3 h: V! K
three minutes are up." . k* d* f( ]" B; ~3 u" X
* p1 S' V2 p( A+ ]# z& i/ N$ O) J
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
4 }! X7 U) ~( Y$ ^) ?& N% ]calling any minute.9 n( q5 P: h- W. o# C3 A

! p) r0 p5 |2 j) B; T8 x& ^8 cFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
+ G: L& U' a' C* [+ x3 j: G; b; C1 l% @: B5 @: P/ n8 o0 s" P  c
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
6 v' q! g. P8 Gman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
/ n7 ~/ x$ P. _4 X, s2 W4 _6 S, Mhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and $ l8 h- S$ o# {( T7 }. U9 h
legs.# A1 r+ f6 H8 k) Z/ \. S
. J  @& d( m; E! J5 V  f( b0 U4 f1 j1 L
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
: W9 _* `5 f# R4 |6 k% Gfight?"   @+ {4 Z# A1 E. T; p4 o3 s8 ~8 p
" S2 l. r. o: J7 Z- X0 y& e
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ! Z! i. H4 ?4 D- Y- h: F0 s
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
! i" R1 t0 P2 e0 w( k' @9 ^are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-2-12 04:16 , Processed in 0.191154 second(s), 12 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表