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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ' V8 I! c& O% `: f& e( w
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
1 R8 l4 f8 s0 Z& s4 A& oBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 7 h8 M" p6 X# S8 b# @6 J
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 4 K; v1 E. F, |
flock, will you give me one?"
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1 j/ B9 ]" n# B; H% fThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
+ Z) Q' S) V' Ipeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."5 G1 I, u9 ]& H9 e' u& t. \3 i

; u3 R5 R) P9 |; D9 HThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a : b+ q9 k1 h5 ~# Y$ g
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
& T! t+ V% e3 T* Q2 @7 [: n+ w7 bGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
* T8 \* N5 w+ p4 rand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 7 F, e" N) n4 Q5 h( X2 T: M
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
- F# Q, C0 N6 ~- D5 Aa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and   E+ @, Q2 K, j# n4 K
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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. k$ d: @+ R% V2 ]4 m% B0 U"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ( d; E( ^/ A, L4 I$ r% O
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
" J. J; l6 h, V- @* A! ocar.
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& ]' o. w' C2 K6 U5 cThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business $ o+ g, a8 z/ ~4 e) O; ^  }
is, will you give me back my animal?". ?9 M" W4 L9 M' `' [, p

0 v0 h. D7 E4 G) J3 Q"OK, why not" answered the young man.
" b6 J) w8 R+ g0 H: }
9 C/ B; b' Z( }"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 1 T  s4 ?6 p: N& k; d  i: c

/ \, ^" e! H) z. O"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
9 I) P# g0 W9 n$ q4 l# Znobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
5 s6 B1 m7 @: S" P. f1 r( \question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 5 i% k# I6 g; g# y: I
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
' z* s  h  A. aundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 8 b$ X/ L/ a, B2 i) H2 N
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ; c+ T6 E9 l7 p5 Z) k$ h! t
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ( B( Z  M6 {6 f* n! e( @; {
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 8 ]8 H7 z( z: F- I# u8 U& m% \
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into # W8 q' P; r3 Q7 ^5 C2 v
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was , C- h/ C4 U! V# [8 @
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman % w8 T/ U' m* B% n$ q$ g6 `2 p" l
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
$ w5 V5 R2 t" g4 L0 ?, }8 w6 rbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
1 Z. B2 S% t+ h- b" T3 f& fwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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: m  [0 k' H" ~+ z1 t% l/ xThe first man married a nurse.
* F+ p# {$ C+ w$ Y6 z. i. I: |2 B( b" L1 s  |, @' T5 O! g- d
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. " `  L9 f8 }0 D7 q" o
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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/ s2 r  Z1 [' O3 n- M; ^The second man married a telephone operator.
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3 K. v- _$ L# w; EDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 3 z& h8 I2 [; J+ O! c$ G7 b
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
9 G+ C) i$ [- j; K+ b$ ~; Fbutton...A-bomb.?, Z6 z/ R- R# c$ b

9 J( M0 ?4 l4 c. OThe third man married a school teacher.
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# c) z7 L1 H! u- ^& _& _Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 7 r* |5 |/ A( O+ l, \4 g& ]
but teachers are just too frigid".
( V5 D" @& E9 y& o" w8 S8 o
. L0 Q  `8 t% v7 O5 YThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected / ^6 T. p- V3 K/ l8 ~( e* ^4 P% g
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ! x, ^' y+ l% x7 U
would call much later in the day.
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# V' _% z6 T0 j% l7 K7 H. y, l8 ]) QAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
8 y' r+ d" {+ \" D/ e( ]nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ) U: z. g7 V* ]3 D# {
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
8 l5 j4 w7 W7 y$ I  T# e6 n5 b8 k7 `4 q' j  |" F0 V
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.) X1 k% b' X- v; B

# i7 t  r9 s* r: D+ c/ x( k& o0 c' y$ bThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night / |. k* P7 A6 q7 S) E
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."5 G  }7 t% {; U8 J/ c4 G# j& J

: P4 S* B5 s- E3 W9 [6 Y; L3 H# PAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.1 H- A! j; ^4 {; s9 @3 q
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
2 h" ?2 ^! h) i  \. Has possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back . B! ?) h! k5 I" n& Q/ U
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.  D5 ?! l- O3 b# x& W3 x

8 B$ i* R; ]/ y: v) R5 u( uDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 7 t* R4 l& }, P! k! w! P
their voices."
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: J% L, ?7 Q$ b; u7 d- v; Q; SThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I + j% u1 m8 B/ V8 G! ]+ b: R, ~
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
$ ?. _0 ?, R, r/ y5 Q6 l) L0 Jthree minutes are up."
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. V8 z# i6 r: K: tDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
# `8 d2 z  q2 a% y: E7 |8 G, @calling any minute.9 N" K, S  M8 y  A3 l
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.2 W6 `+ j5 Q5 ^7 c2 ?0 u0 ]

9 L) _7 _5 \+ _* y' sDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
% F1 u- x0 f" R/ Q- H2 M2 s& rman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only - h! K- y# m9 M" U! r
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 8 z* G- G# _( Q) T1 d' d
legs.* K# {9 I8 T9 t) h

) U# H6 u) Q% N, vJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a - ?/ l, M2 I, l  }  K6 _
fight?"
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* }# N5 @0 Y' Z* Z2 r6 fThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
' }! a3 [$ J  r" Y6 ~# U( {4 p4 z6 S% pa school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
; a* v$ k; D0 E1 R5 U% P( Nare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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