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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
6 C8 I+ {, m: A+ y! ]) UBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
: y$ z: n3 I2 n( v6 `; f0 uBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
/ {2 M: \, {8 xand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
# \8 ^& ]* ~3 w- S1 j  Aflock, will you give me one?"4 N  G- y( |) Q5 \4 F; N4 l
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 9 x0 o* g# \) O- E) `( u
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."0 S% w' ]$ b- H$ p3 m
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
* B+ q* X+ t5 b( ~+ Fcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
# l5 @- W( U6 D* n1 iGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database & C; h; [7 B! b& \9 O
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his / l) _# e% g( s9 d
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
! l6 v+ L0 o5 oa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
7 T( g. Q' T9 ^2 _# |& k8 Y- Fsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".& w% \" S4 E1 R, Z$ ^

3 j! b5 s4 D) X"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. $ j; q, ]% A- f3 X( T) v# R0 O

) K& A& b) S* j% G4 `$ nHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
) P- I0 ^( E2 n* h6 c# m* n8 ucar.2 D+ x9 x) G( w- S1 `7 m4 G( [2 G

8 H2 p; D1 }) t; ^9 KThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
+ P! R" t7 _# |+ Gis, will you give me back my animal?"! h5 c0 [3 K3 i; _# @4 I

2 l1 a6 y4 X" \$ K. v  t"OK, why not" answered the young man.1 x- X) k  s( w# s/ F/ e7 c7 J/ w
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
2 ~6 W9 ~( |& V0 qnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
$ Z( m0 e7 C2 t' w4 Xquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 i3 d8 u3 ^. s! W! w( d5 L& k5 Z
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 9 U1 S3 _# {5 Z* E& h, c1 Q
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ; p$ D# z, K+ V9 t4 f! M( |
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
4 u& f* @( `( q' O# vmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
" c( h% |+ x5 o* pwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran " D6 X9 m* \- Z) F4 @
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
( k% h, r% ~" c$ S' O1 aher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was . N- Q  o8 f" ^. |3 l5 m2 v7 |- t
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
; z) S5 ]% G% c! p$ ?responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle   O% O- g! d+ z% E! s
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, * c& q' g. T" ~( t$ G* t1 z  }
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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! i' L3 |4 ~3 x; I, qThe first man married a nurse.
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) H. X" T3 D; A" U- n$ KDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ( U3 M* a8 x7 a
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".# D/ c% u. X8 _3 [! c& K

" `  ?/ n9 Z! ~& `/ }3 D- uThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 9 [5 v( D- R6 G6 M. _# S. h
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top # L5 f1 s" I* x$ P/ s* `
button...A-bomb.?
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3 p1 t3 O5 n. p7 i7 eThe third man married a school teacher. 5 ~4 \, l3 p. f# R

  ^0 O/ g8 {0 A4 @2 T6 |Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
  F' Y" {: E3 t, _3 W! ebut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
* N  Q) ]- Y' G0 w* v- gonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 0 x. t: I2 ]$ q. p/ Z+ ^9 S
would call much later in the day.
, @  S& [4 k3 i7 t! P
2 ?3 Z3 n+ Y4 \  ~! Q, f* I2 qAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
, w- f% R% W. s+ _) Znurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
& d1 W$ S5 f5 z2 o% Dpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
: P) i0 O7 O/ R2 d# B. L  M0 ~3 j6 H# x# l, ?5 t$ L/ U
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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. L7 j: Q7 V& PThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
# `! X0 T: z# n* ]; O- a: k( @was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
8 G1 ]) D- X0 W1 \. ^/ h. R7 o( c: [! b$ g4 V" C# A2 Z* S
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again./ f  V. C: P+ W4 y+ ?! d  p- t1 d0 s

9 e2 q) w* f5 ~( r& \1 o$ G; PThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
; K9 k' b6 o- y) @/ ^& ~; aas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back ( j8 Z. I- L/ A  @- O/ C8 h
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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$ t* Y; o. ], @: e3 eDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
" X% c7 N8 U2 K: {! w4 f. Ctheir voices."
2 y. R" b1 _' o: o& r) Q
' n% E+ s# ~8 }) p; v+ p' b% w0 [The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
9 R! e& n$ _4 B1 h$ J* h2 bheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
4 }1 d+ m8 R( E# V2 _three minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 8 h, G6 m) n, a2 H7 K9 {2 l2 G
calling any minute.- R+ {$ ?7 `* O% O% l" {. @4 T) m

5 r$ o5 U7 s9 A9 i. qFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
; q  Q9 j; p8 Eman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only / y' O& j5 Q- V: s5 N' h; S- k
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 0 }; Z6 z7 {* F  s9 F
legs.4 j7 X: u1 O; _! x, Q. A2 R9 {- x
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ) ]: U" h* W  A; c+ G
fight?" , Z" m# }' x& j$ o8 ]! U
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
0 Y1 U1 Q* ~* q. \# ba school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We # L5 Q  H" T$ t  C  C! Z0 y
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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