埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4664|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new : }9 s( G( i8 q! r; M' ]4 K) z! V
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
7 L3 n2 v4 O: r& w. O0 p; \( ]Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
& h& U  \; W$ t; a6 @  K1 U/ iand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your * B0 }  F$ L4 N/ W4 b9 |$ Y
flock, will you give me one?"
1 S2 N9 E3 |2 L" f
7 S3 f% \# @- ?% L" [1 YThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
2 g  O- H" X  a/ F1 E* G* vpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."$ m1 ]9 w0 X6 K1 W0 u( e; }3 u" M

8 m3 M' x3 u3 P6 lThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ; Q# L8 R3 H" [9 _* A4 x1 v9 c
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ! _' ?1 M$ r# h1 O
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
+ Y4 Z- G. J( E% vand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his & N  y7 `) p' E  E3 k3 D
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out : a: L8 [& V! Z$ N! u8 A
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and - ?! k  W! V1 p
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
  @1 M9 d7 o: {" W+ z% s3 A$ `2 \6 ]% A2 t- N
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
' v& F* J3 V. v  u& y% h" D: x
) ]/ ~$ C  _8 mHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
# b, h$ z. y, M5 Fcar.
; V7 {7 Y' ~: Y( g
' F+ y+ p$ `' `4 h) f* ]Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
5 N" M; E; s. H- E: |8 H5 j/ bis, will you give me back my animal?"6 H5 P+ _, g' t3 k; P

; U0 X0 I& C# [  D4 k8 i"OK, why not" answered the young man.+ ]2 l* u5 |: g" }
' P, @* J5 R; Y; ~! ]) [( g- b
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
5 H: ^+ j% P- p  C
7 H/ b% z- g( k  @" S! p"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"  U! h* y/ H0 u9 J
- c: ~3 ?9 _0 e: E7 r4 G
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
4 y/ y  L  V7 Qnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a " ^) ?' N) z$ y4 E
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 1 ?+ n; }) x$ L1 x* Y- N
me back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
+ |, }# u' d, e2 }" B5 yundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ; {; K% ?. e' q' v
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 0 A: P/ L& Y* P
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper . O+ Z# d0 w4 X
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran " }: R0 n9 R4 H- O2 W
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 8 H$ k- I) L( J. B
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
0 I/ y/ D5 U# p; q$ Bopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
+ X4 }* E! P& P  j% _7 L! gresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
* {. ^$ x6 n' G( W$ Z, r. |1 i9 [bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ' s: _4 B% x9 A8 K8 J3 l. l
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
! n) P8 W6 P! i* D" n8 ]. y. b1 A. K$ t4 E
The first man married a nurse.
: x6 l; a' k+ q: F5 B
, |- D3 n1 s& ~4 q! Q3 d9 {' YDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
( P* @& n, ]9 o$ L8 s2 ^  g) y9 gNurses are known to be hot to trot".
0 r" g) m  q8 c+ Q( i5 J# s6 |& Y8 G, ]- P' h
The second man married a telephone operator.
" L6 \* S, X' P) @: j2 V1 e  D3 z- v  F0 m5 b! |1 d; N
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 0 O! Y* l9 P" p4 z7 j: g+ j
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 0 ?$ {% Q" J2 L6 t0 i% Y6 N
button...A-bomb.?
5 E4 V& a' n8 [( n3 o
4 X. v/ ]8 P, J- Y5 `4 NThe third man married a school teacher.
0 O: v$ c" G7 ~1 r
( X) b2 G/ N- {& M- VDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty & Y: D( W7 ^9 j+ O/ p9 M
but teachers are just too frigid".% l& l5 u, m0 h1 u, }6 M6 r
4 l; p7 c7 s: G4 u5 ]
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 5 g( U5 Y6 E5 X# v3 |9 ^! b! G
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two - ^) E6 Y4 z, B) W5 G; ?
would call much later in the day.
( N. ?+ O8 J$ w& S  K7 n3 U+ g+ G0 C2 E. _' ]2 Z
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The * d7 Q) [, t' K( ?
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 4 v; l( C! G6 a+ L/ ~' |
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 2 ?  B' T& l; N: S: G
2 \  ~# V4 X9 k2 U
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.2 S8 h, k' O5 C# m6 I$ y2 j

/ s# W2 G! b8 N8 r3 |The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night % p$ V& B) `  |1 H1 w/ p
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."4 o, y& A0 Q: C! g/ @- ^! c3 n+ K
# w3 ~% H6 |  b' m9 H
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again., N- U. [2 s6 i" X7 [  a: p4 r
% Z- w# p. D( H; Q$ @, |& W
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast $ ?$ g; M; D  n. b! T4 n
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
, N3 C/ N1 n% C9 ]+ |/ iin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
0 M# F" D# o& M9 q, I
8 M# }7 t& Q0 _0 E6 Q; ?, _Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as - H2 ?$ m  f. y3 x' I. {+ b
their voices." / h+ z% O/ D2 J: l

: o0 C4 I& i( E; UThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
1 r6 z" `8 ]4 h; O1 K7 Wheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ( k3 U$ ^5 s4 V5 x+ B
three minutes are up."
' w& A  v% q9 ~. ]* A/ j. n
6 n. ^1 c. Y" ~, P9 P. b9 O* oDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
2 y/ R! V8 k' ]: @) @" vcalling any minute.
  W7 i  w/ O# ?' o! U
2 p7 P+ s2 C$ a/ B. T0 Z  ~( ?Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.7 i" d% N6 F0 s

$ R" z, _- H' I3 l: t. ~Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 4 m. m- d" j6 O3 Q) {
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only " Y: Y0 d. a2 |3 K  ]3 C
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
7 G; S6 b$ v& |. ]; p  g, h' J: O1 qlegs./ }1 }' U- i  Q% g
' S2 A1 L+ n  M% C5 j
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
5 e; s8 Z& n. P9 u' F5 W$ cfight?" 1 l7 B' v6 i! A3 T8 Y0 ]5 E
& p% c! x1 e% {( V
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
* Q& c/ m" @3 J+ m6 Da school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
! M0 b3 t: l6 \& |9 I, y) E7 [8 jare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-1-29 15:32 , Processed in 0.154018 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表