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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
% O* v( E. x: ^8 V4 G7 k. BBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
3 e$ q: j4 b! p5 q  ]. m( PBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ( B. p8 l# K) R# O% l
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
8 \" y0 o& V9 i; a# `flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his ' Z% F6 l8 Q: e8 j% d& V  {& l
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."/ i& O8 M1 W0 N2 ~
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
' b( Q: B) ~; g0 L6 l+ Acell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 7 U/ V9 {5 Q9 K9 U" ^" L
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database - Q- y7 E; q6 y7 B2 w
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his # m  ]3 c, G+ V, p- c
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out / c# u* K1 L: s
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and : D' M, y- }4 W0 Y) |) M- E
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".( Y- N9 h" `6 N
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. + O: Y9 c" @( ^( R" P% ?1 F
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
* d3 ]6 t: |  x8 N# L" lcar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business , F3 i8 p6 W- j( i3 F
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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7 r$ W* A, f6 W- {! }* q"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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2 S2 p0 J/ r8 J) n3 Y4 N"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. ) J/ k$ K9 z6 P

8 Y4 D) k! }0 u"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ) P$ z3 {0 b7 t# I" L: J0 J
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
( o" T6 j, I. [5 C7 G  _question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give , m' B8 z/ h% q0 V9 ?/ j, a
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ! G9 C' K$ K( E) A) b2 J
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
0 P8 N* [4 o4 n0 s, f0 a, V: VNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
5 b6 V0 z8 q$ t; T* y/ R' p& gmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
) V  F: @1 }$ Fwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
2 z7 O( A; M8 x' U. minto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
% ?' m6 |7 R2 i  W' E/ B$ e0 jher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
$ w& E3 X" Z+ ]: ?. u, @' Oopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
* R' l2 U, v# h: eresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle   ~! {) |* V' g3 u9 E2 N
bags"
理袁律师事务所
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ( C* x$ S: c6 R/ _; ]% X7 u( j
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. 2 B( m4 `9 Z* s$ W9 s+ Q7 [- q
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. : ~- m$ U% [- p; D  M* ]
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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: \) m/ B( H7 W6 i' B* U  R( OThe second man married a telephone operator. ' {! \% Z% C  |( M8 A5 W
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ) V. D7 ~0 o, }( v% y5 \1 r
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ) _- ~! h" C- V( }& K4 M: w4 M& p
button...A-bomb.?( E. U+ n2 b5 c7 p: ^- A/ B
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The third man married a school teacher. : C7 _5 h1 h% V$ J- {6 x0 X7 S

5 I3 c% y& L0 gDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 4 _2 M/ c. _' S/ {5 R; \. e: Y& f
but teachers are just too frigid".
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" S6 u; C" p  \9 KThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
9 R8 L  t- e- C( D* U4 x; y, |only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
3 n( C; V7 {/ j+ Ywould call much later in the day., r% R' W  I+ t  A' h: }

2 X# J" s& {0 N  F4 W2 ]At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ' }" |6 d- ~, k( ^( y% A: e* _/ a
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
. i' {; h9 |2 C# N5 {: Ypajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
8 Z6 Y% a; ~/ s9 L5 K/ wwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
5 H; @6 M2 P) }& K1 _$ h$ M
0 T4 a# C) i1 e+ i  FAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.6 ^; s. `5 G8 F# c- b

  I8 T, N# T  c  r2 r: a0 IThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 1 h$ W: |: S; Y$ B- W
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
5 v$ K* m! Z& iin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.$ \. n, X3 f$ |* K# R) O: P

2 K4 U& ?7 U) [' W- O' }Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
0 ~# O7 P4 y8 ^7 a1 M* i* utheir voices." ' a( Q: K0 M  n) s) i

1 w7 V! ?1 R+ q* o/ lThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ; `7 S: N7 I# l& P6 z% {6 g0 Y' d
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
8 b% _8 a! w0 e' z$ u, qthree minutes are up." 0 o+ C  s- q. k: }

( k" {* g) }2 i6 r& n* v4 uDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be   Z  q! \1 ]6 ^  E+ G: z& ^7 V
calling any minute.0 h; Q5 }( a* k0 D  X  L
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 5 c- M4 l" f4 R( K% o' Y
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only / L* V0 U; _5 b5 ~$ d8 x4 }- R
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
/ V7 W4 C$ r. i7 R  k) d; Tlegs.
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% ~0 ^2 B. e2 {) ~6 v" [Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a * ~  E6 j+ @1 [/ A5 D
fight?" : G3 k6 h$ }# ^
& [# k* D/ ?: n) d
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
# R( R' d& z. ^1 [a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
* D: O8 B1 I9 [. b7 Xare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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