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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
( G, c$ G" p$ k) _& `! p/ ~BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 7 L- J/ N* Q8 S  N% @
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
& P' S( w3 f+ H" b5 h% M0 wand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 6 `0 J- m2 p& T6 _# v$ J; z; U; m
flock, will you give me one?"' h3 l+ t& C; d2 Y( e$ U- R+ b
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
) e+ Q( \$ _1 p' R5 S! x+ jpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."+ x- [0 O$ ~& t9 w

4 i6 n# z4 V) vThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a , e; y! S' l# l7 ?& Q% ?5 E4 |
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
; q" F1 [" C% `% BGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ! m  g2 |- o4 d* `/ H
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
) M6 w. r* n) J+ z" HBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
' o; [4 q* F: Q5 N' M1 o& z3 h+ fa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
- X8 ^( J! B  |' C" i0 w0 u% [says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".8 R/ W  K9 F) C! T  ^# }, Z2 \" G
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ! {  q, b+ h; ^
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 2 D+ F9 {/ t! R% e, M3 ~! l; r
car.2 W' P8 J5 Z/ U; m
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
" Y' e, ^  J, H8 Ois, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.! w+ @. e3 L0 p8 g2 _

  R; I3 E, d& j/ e# y0 l"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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+ q- }3 L- Z1 M' e"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"5 Q) A* x! d: u6 u( E5 [

+ Y1 b  s. }! I4 \" o7 \"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ; P) V' x- W. b
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a , E: H# Z: G3 D  d  l
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
+ d: F# {( L4 y- C( G  Gme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
$ W- M7 t) N5 a  cundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
/ I# `6 m; D# R, F2 i# d5 p* dNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
( I5 I7 @. P% U/ ?+ kmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 5 g+ @& {3 ]9 B6 m3 A2 Y
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
; }. j$ h6 q: ?. n2 linto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ' _4 ?  Q: ^/ D5 o' J8 Z' s
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
$ o  ^6 `( z: n& J( g: t  fopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman # r  S; O9 z, c6 |
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
% C2 R+ N/ E# Fbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
, n" i; V8 r# |& Bwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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5 a2 k2 q" \/ V: `9 p& YDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ( _, L1 _. K# `1 n
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".$ ~, c! f5 r6 B* \; p4 x
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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0 T6 I0 {8 J% t/ l! \# W' y0 lDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
5 h$ p, m& a3 [4 e$ P8 y1 X: GTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top / ]: i- X6 T4 n: E0 i$ [
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty ! ~/ H, N& H& H( o
but teachers are just too frigid".5 z" i7 I( c- h9 i+ z. _' @8 l

+ K: G+ L; v! V3 s7 S2 ?The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
+ |9 p6 P' ]  j' G: }( d; vonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 2 A) z& L1 [% o# r# H
would call much later in the day." d8 a+ g3 N4 ~7 H6 ^$ e) b8 C
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The $ A9 B" e# w6 N5 \* {/ }
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's # G0 ~5 j. o" v6 `9 S7 N
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. / U7 q' ?4 N% Z: C! h3 W) l
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
, E" a* m( I& T1 C+ gwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."7 c  F% O% z$ ]* S

" u, K( ?9 E  J( p3 y' DAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 3 ~+ d" f- W/ X% o/ A
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
' V7 X) D) r. l( Y( N. h$ cin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as # Y4 p8 X2 e" x9 ~$ x" b
their voices." 0 I& `2 \* b+ G8 t8 s; |

- ~8 O7 K" t# H2 D6 Q% z. iThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ' Q+ X+ f8 m1 U* G  w) F" ~
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 9 U' ?+ D: E0 m# h6 n
three minutes are up." 1 R4 b5 h2 T3 D) I: R

  m! X' O+ m7 O7 o: |Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
  v# A4 S4 n" E2 n& ~calling any minute./ |, J4 s6 ~8 {

7 H  E) H4 c' g- B8 c: v* J( p& ?Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 1 ~8 I# S1 j  {5 Q2 a
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only / ~  h4 d0 n/ X0 W' S( G
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and $ f6 B/ k# h/ m* i- z7 u+ v: ]
legs.8 G# D& Y' C) V! c+ k5 J
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
; S# C9 S, h5 i, Z, h5 h5 o! Pfight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
. d* }$ f& H: Q' F' ya school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 4 H& Z6 M% l% b3 c9 E
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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