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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
7 f/ ^- r+ h! O# }BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
3 s( o* r" @& k/ X, S8 I8 L0 @2 |Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window / s6 [1 z" f  U5 {8 t
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
# l% T9 f. t1 a7 A! U: @flock, will you give me one?"/ V& [$ e7 K1 I* |

- |( E$ Y' g, i; ]3 X  ^The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
+ G: ~0 S4 m2 \3 U) w( Mpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."6 I: e# l+ Z6 ?3 k

4 a) u9 @4 R+ L& [" fThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
/ m' \  O9 P& [4 R$ W/ i3 ?3 T# Ncell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a $ {$ W9 _( p$ V* ?  t) k7 R
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database - d" s+ b- T5 A$ R' x, j9 o% Q: w
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ; u5 b% _$ R: l
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out " P; A- P. K# V4 T% f5 }$ l+ q
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
$ b1 R; T% M1 ?! C3 [! Psays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
% E6 u7 r2 }0 `+ r* v( j5 c& ?  y: L0 E# f$ O
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 0 {# E) }2 G7 o, k1 g  ?
car.
8 O  v4 u! ]: |  h( d
5 M! A1 j( m3 @6 w5 w+ ?) SThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business : c6 B3 K0 j  G# U3 x  _# O9 V
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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  h/ _: ^$ I) e1 P  u* ]9 n9 j- p"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"+ v% S6 v" E, D- g

- z0 U: U( s- [0 U9 _) @"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
1 w: \  r) L; [% Ynobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a : z' Y& ^- a. v+ i4 P
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ( k7 j* ~2 g2 C7 ~
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
8 P5 {) a7 k+ _' U: `undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
% S( e' }+ i& |& F; e- r" @* z- u8 `Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
) w! L. {" C2 C. D7 O0 gmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper % Y- ]$ `2 [+ A* L
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran   F6 b$ v1 ?7 {
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
% }+ C9 \* e& c5 @her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
& O% J6 ^, f# W0 u) J6 Fopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
1 f: n$ b$ \! ?0 Iresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
+ I: A8 e8 Q" p! a5 q! ?* Vbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
# K# k' K- z# E2 S9 Q! kwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 0 \& v' R7 ~" t# p, H
3 |+ F5 A: G3 Y* G
The first man married a nurse. ) Y7 x( c! b  T# L  L
3 p3 m  Q5 P) w2 A& E
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. , I  e  F4 D+ t# f& G
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".$ W( J+ H% k; N7 w4 B

4 W" u' O9 P1 fThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
- A. {) l* Y( U3 Y- X& w/ `Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ' T- d2 U" V; r* u
button...A-bomb.?
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5 g; r. Y4 a" d3 a9 l! }1 f5 P: VThe third man married a school teacher. . s" Q4 G! v) a/ s& a6 X1 f; {

2 C6 E3 o) R  ^! XDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty # |2 \% Q( U  N$ c
but teachers are just too frigid".8 n# @6 l$ g* f/ T2 h7 [

! {. Z' W4 ~$ S, t! FThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected * Y, q1 a: @7 U' E' n
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two % ]% Q4 @  E9 X  {/ ~9 {2 X
would call much later in the day.
  }3 v( F8 s( m/ b3 o2 C8 a; ^
1 F% L& N; P, S7 ~At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
: R& x" d6 w, e4 |) b- f2 ~nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's . N$ \  m% p. p' _0 _9 v
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 8 x4 W* c! |) r# z4 g* x
/ @( f/ ~: O' l8 R0 C! O4 E3 `
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.1 m8 y; y) h1 o" }( @5 a: C- R
! L6 R1 e; T. z- f) b, Z: u/ Q
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
) Z2 |# _/ K3 |. S, T2 swas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
. n0 \3 w/ ?7 l# T7 c  J+ v9 F( Q3 X- I: Z1 c: J7 J# m5 b
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.7 M0 M* o: h2 K5 z! C, f
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 4 _/ |2 x1 Z4 G
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
% q/ Y5 K6 S, J, n" P2 i4 O* O/ |in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed." v3 n1 @! H2 S

' h+ D8 K( \8 P" N4 oDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as $ a. Q2 _4 @- Z$ _
their voices."
. ?/ F( E% _  a9 ?
" V, }8 P* e4 E2 D. W/ NThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I % i8 Q$ @2 O  I+ V* m4 b9 ^
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
3 X7 N) E: h; |9 @% fthree minutes are up."
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& d8 c3 V* x* L: FDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 9 O' x: b2 i" R4 F* T0 P0 o, ]
calling any minute.
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3 V- T; F% W3 p/ T* wFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.4 S) q; Z# B6 G( ^, }8 A
: [# o, D5 ~6 x5 y9 n6 `  T
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
" I7 H& _9 r4 b+ X0 Iman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 4 O9 Y& I3 p$ U# O$ F9 [5 Y' R' z
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
: F2 g: o! `3 z+ g3 zlegs.$ ^: B0 v, j" g: j" D( H0 {

) Z% x8 c. t' E" eJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ; U. }! q  G: O% b
fight?"
! k# v4 @& z& N' o* s2 \8 K
' m$ w, j$ s. a4 ]4 l0 Y6 T5 LThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
3 `  f/ v; Q/ k) z  Oa school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
% S6 v; e( h, Y. o: bare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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