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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
- p0 Q2 a) s* m: E9 S+ UBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
7 {+ p0 _! `4 {/ \& F- z5 gBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
5 q6 e! c: }  z' Yand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ! c9 S1 |, J6 Q% G: t8 X& a' I
flock, will you give me one?"
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3 ]! m2 P: p* J7 \9 ~& @$ eThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
+ K; t' C4 n6 q, K4 L6 Rpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a : a2 H3 |, U) E* g- P  ^6 \, t
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
# W" O3 l: w+ `$ W3 K) ^4 BGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 4 }1 U. {/ m* e# K0 h/ d  F
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his : {: A: e# a9 B% U
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ' O! v" m; |. ?  _: W
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and + Q* X0 _- V- x- o
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".$ [) w; M+ g: v0 [

  u& R5 h! d7 e3 \7 M"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. / V. |+ j, m$ r+ s

1 }# o3 [: T, }# K  Q( EHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his ) X& T0 c: g/ z/ A
car.! \2 u# Q3 k1 [6 @* f1 P

7 D- c! U( n7 G4 J4 qThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business   s2 L1 H. J, A3 r9 a, n  b
is, will you give me back my animal?"; q$ v1 f6 w- g4 x

5 k. s' z1 ^, E% {  l) y" O"OK, why not" answered the young man.$ E; \! T8 ?  i$ B  `. s! A8 J0 O
! w8 `& p6 l2 G, F( M! O( w& `
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 2 z* Q6 U) h" [6 x; y+ \! f

8 E$ B: @9 d. p9 A* w"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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2 C& [, r! {# M0 n$ _"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
9 I9 m4 s, J  h  Cnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a . v2 A5 G# {, d# w, }
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
7 A$ c1 H8 o# s! J* ome back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is $ J: B( J5 S2 F
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
. U% R& c' n& m+ p) l/ z- @Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few . L7 |* k# b# s. e
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 2 W/ n' |7 e: [9 W3 U' W
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
! M4 ~0 c# k3 M/ ]) F( yinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into * ~6 d  a( H4 A! C6 ?6 k
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was - ~7 b$ J. x. W0 z4 X4 S% l
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
9 f" m4 L% ?; v3 t, I! k1 d1 mresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 5 `2 M0 V( w9 x# ~' @4 [5 y
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, & t' ?9 S  {, u: n3 I: M
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. / G+ p4 f( m+ J

3 J% D. ?* d7 q8 U  d+ ?4 VThe first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 5 l2 h% j  J& N; P% b6 h9 e+ u- S
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
1 m7 c4 a* z/ I3 [0 a
! u) U! u$ L. K# \9 Z! YThe second man married a telephone operator. & s; L0 R4 b/ |' O+ i
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 2 l7 R: V4 J1 n  ]% }/ Q) B/ q: k
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
# i  Q7 T; S4 d. ebutton...A-bomb.?/ \" m* n  M1 F7 |3 f

  `7 ~* w, K  j5 M7 c8 \The third man married a school teacher. 0 K% R3 {# O1 ^" k- F
6 Y9 C  F4 M0 i6 X
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty $ y* _$ w* m+ S
but teachers are just too frigid".
# h9 v% B7 L# o# h4 a
! C, [7 |. B2 uThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected ) Q& J/ q2 I5 r* I9 {" |
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ; V, Y, M, _4 f* R* M
would call much later in the day.. {. x: [: Q  S6 _, r0 c
& @: h. ~  r. x2 P
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
8 ?( @, V% ~% |# C" A$ bnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
/ n# [5 F& i8 Y' spajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. " c3 n$ f" x6 k7 j; Q

7 q' q2 F7 Q1 k% R  P) I+ \Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.8 f: k+ M  U. P) S$ w
' L7 f/ {$ |. B% L& E
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
" m3 L- ~+ m5 F- l5 W4 Pwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."4 a3 z  A7 [- y7 j9 b

  G; v4 z: v5 ~# R, [At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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8 Q1 r: S$ e8 u- IThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
$ f8 |, D' y" x# m+ t) Y: Das possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
, g7 \$ n% J! ]5 F  Y+ ~in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.: {  {. v# E! t6 r. p

/ H6 U: L8 M* u, F. i4 oDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
3 u" t5 ~- @2 [their voices."
) ]: h# i/ L" Y* l8 ]* b- z
" T+ _+ v/ f' B1 }$ fThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
0 R/ O, m7 Z$ Z/ j. e1 G$ u& vheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ( E) Y6 N0 l# D; w% t9 |
three minutes are up."
, a; V6 ^& V# w$ [$ I! q3 b1 V, Z3 F, [, s- H. `" H( y
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 4 |! C: U: R$ z6 r9 U  k6 l
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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7 Y# t1 R) Z2 J3 pDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
: P0 L2 F' Y' f( C1 P, ^man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
) B8 d4 N7 @2 d: Hhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
$ g! M4 u. d0 b! ]7 u; y2 e5 Llegs.
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* M. k, \' Y  R* b/ n$ ~7 y& B( nJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
" e/ h7 K" a& S- xfight?"
; ]9 x( ^2 r  b- P
, W: c& f) u; kThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ; [1 B+ J7 X$ P( ?6 q8 ^% y
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
; C8 a) k  Z8 Q: r% _  h5 ware going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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