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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
& N' h% A! X5 CBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
) V4 j& ^# ~4 B3 z) L) tBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
2 _- [! ~- Q& E3 R( U+ fand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your + S; M+ W( P  D6 R
flock, will you give me one?"2 y! J/ O6 l$ w: Y0 n6 j9 a

5 C; p7 J: ?% \6 oThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 2 Q1 u5 ]6 C( j$ W) L% c# W  g
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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, }/ m' K' G( f5 j  E3 ~1 KThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a : \/ G5 f/ `; [( {# e
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
6 G( ?  W. Q) T- n1 }GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ; z6 o# B& K- c& h, `' M" v
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 6 U" c  s9 W7 Q" L8 }1 _
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ) k& l6 C, P. N9 i6 i, G
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
* r, O2 v, z& dsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
  A3 T! S5 R0 `/ U5 p' w: [. y9 ?0 P0 J5 L. J
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. $ c2 g8 h, u+ m3 T1 e) Y5 \

. j5 l/ u3 K4 w) ]  PHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
, y3 K9 x3 [& Ncar.9 S. J. d7 G4 `6 `7 }1 ?& m$ J0 l
) j& [  J$ d1 @
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
: Z; l) _4 b. g3 ~' ~0 J! Fis, will you give me back my animal?"
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, z+ I( K; Z4 g"OK, why not" answered the young man., J5 H3 p  u5 B$ }( P2 B9 W
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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/ J% U: [, z+ \8 d2 P; [7 n( E8 P"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 8 Y5 i0 M9 r0 r% X
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a - @1 Z: a- l+ i3 b# R
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
! R$ F" i2 c; ]; n7 U/ q. Wme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 5 Q! O6 B3 H% s: |. ]
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ; M$ o; }% j1 D* q; N
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
9 H8 D& g" _! R, m. |) rmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ) _- |9 f; F) y+ l
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran / M- \3 ]# |, Q, o( w9 c
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 5 j, |! a/ F; s$ N
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 9 _4 s9 k- @" w4 q6 ]2 k: b
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman ) [& g; U. J- @* ]8 W- w3 z8 N
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
& E& n$ y8 S0 A7 a/ abags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ) e: S! G( z- Y
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 4 m/ ~; j: g7 k% T$ I5 g7 v

! \+ J) w( z$ U  p3 D$ _" V) T( nThe first man married a nurse. 0 q3 ]) A8 q! i% c9 Y

8 \9 `/ n9 o0 z3 O  yDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. , k/ k$ k6 P+ U: ^
Nurses are known to be hot to trot"./ ~; G" o1 c+ u

' o; Z7 d. o$ ~The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ! |4 ~2 [1 U* U9 z8 s0 b; Q- @
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top . z+ @4 {" s; ]3 `/ \& Q" p
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. ) T1 {# R1 t2 f5 Z' E+ I

5 j, |6 Z6 a  e6 s2 ]8 D) QDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 0 K# {2 D! B! ^. O" O* ?4 g
but teachers are just too frigid".
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% @, _3 i/ l7 S. G: P5 pThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected " N8 T0 F( O+ e' t9 V
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
  b7 [0 @# c' j, x9 F" s$ Iwould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
+ k! h1 H& _* {$ @( c5 d5 {nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's + S: K! M( B: V# F1 W+ E
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 1 [: E7 R. y* Q1 I; Q+ r" x: l; I
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 o. i+ x! }5 u/ U0 ~6 pwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."/ U8 [  ^* `8 r. b! x; f
8 h" e. V: K4 s/ m8 Y5 `
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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# g: _' ?( K5 q0 B2 p! W' jThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
% Q: c/ F3 W+ e) [4 k8 `2 s  E# k% las possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
4 T7 i. N) k* A9 ]4 ?' V# vin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
& ?7 D8 i! Q; s2 Y' F
, G- L+ C, ^" H, y- e* N( yDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
, E+ L" K/ |- q% |" Itheir voices."
$ L" I8 o) h& `7 y- J6 k* z# u  Q2 V+ D' ]2 n8 X% c
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
. \4 O$ E% D% Vheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your # K$ b) ?  D+ A  E( D/ G& U
three minutes are up." . w6 d$ N% d0 j6 ?- W7 u/ K

8 H) f8 B+ E, lDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
0 _" U" K4 K8 Ocalling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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# D# c% U; a+ c2 yDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
- b, D  b  E4 C* a: B7 T# X5 Yman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
% _4 W# s2 b& K. s* o9 `0 T! J2 Z' Vhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and ) X+ {$ m# `/ ]( j' P, x3 P' r
legs.; `6 k+ C4 x  f* r
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a * u6 N% j! s5 H; |
fight?"
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' B4 `* V4 i+ A% X, Y1 ~The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
% Z6 c& D1 k, l' ^! {. q1 Oa school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 5 l' B$ {, p. g$ W) }) H7 v
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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