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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
5 y8 u# X$ u  bBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
' I" ^6 K. b/ ^Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
3 S2 `$ X' _! ^% ?2 Y% a7 rand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
& ]: J) j/ r2 V* v3 Y( Kflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
# J! C2 {$ ?2 e! i, E; fpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a : K7 t. q. G* Q; d7 d4 ?6 w9 p
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
3 v; O# K9 A) T+ _GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 4 H, Q; \# [. n  k- l
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
( W3 G% y+ t2 t/ l/ `: L* ABlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out   t! |& Y7 }9 Y3 b( q* a8 v& `' d- k
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
  H0 T9 C& }' `9 u+ |9 Qsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".: N8 F3 L1 R1 q
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
4 d- r! M$ E" [  n" A- O8 Xcar.
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$ |; |% Q6 C' G: q% q8 {' U% X  n5 x( WThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business   }& _* [2 e6 A; k6 h5 M
is, will you give me back my animal?"0 v" @2 j0 A6 E) ]$ S' y6 @" P
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.% y( [' U) d0 c- I  Q- m

" ~# D- a1 y/ N; c"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 7 I; E9 _+ k+ J- t2 r

$ h+ ~7 m6 P1 C, i! c"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
# i" d- Y  T; \  _nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ; E- S! G) n" N4 p! [. Q
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 6 Y! i2 U2 B( k. H8 M4 ?  M
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
, G, ?: {' d" b5 l8 w9 Rundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".   ~9 _1 O2 R9 B
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few % j  i  z# [: M! y. F
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper + O7 r( C  |) F# L0 r
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran $ Y5 q7 m) K/ k4 _6 z7 L( N
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ; |! _( g, e; e3 r% O' N
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was * P' [- p' X4 m; a
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
* p4 s3 `$ i3 e9 |responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
" l9 H, O, t7 v: ~bags"
理袁律师事务所
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
8 y( U* {% S' iwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.   Q& |9 |6 P) _+ V8 g
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The first man married a nurse.
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$ u/ U& m$ r6 j/ d9 ~8 z1 r/ F( zDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. # R0 ~' t5 e. D3 z0 b8 y3 V; U
Nurses are known to be hot to trot"./ m. t' m- Y. ?0 v1 }, A

! ^/ f: z( l) d, M4 jThe second man married a telephone operator.
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0 R" M7 f1 o3 d4 e+ W& eDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
' v) ?$ F6 f" A! p6 {Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top & r$ }  A$ H% k, K
button...A-bomb.?* K% |- r' f" w& {& K+ |8 O

7 d- f" r- L8 ]1 v: CThe third man married a school teacher. * M- {1 B. Z6 U1 j6 i: T) e+ Y8 |

: H! J' L* D6 D/ ?; W0 n1 GDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
/ G& W  j3 j  obut teachers are just too frigid".8 p' r: K# D  h$ o. v. t

9 c: y& F" O6 pThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected . Q3 i5 N1 ]. W! `" [  c+ }5 b8 ~
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two " r; T, p1 }; c
would call much later in the day.# q( u: K& ^/ ~* b' s2 Y' y* J

+ |" T; q2 u3 o; |, ]& kAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
* K* c" s' c$ C+ a- lnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
! J+ W; l6 w; a4 \- J* _( {3 gpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
  f5 v; K$ d# p( w/ g. h& G4 G. M& j5 y; v& i( C, ]/ ~
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.  @  v3 v6 p" y$ C, t" w* J

7 |2 E, e& c/ Z% Q; h0 ~3 B2 oThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 9 ~. x9 X6 A3 \5 L% _
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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, E7 h; o* f  qAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast # ?$ w5 ]1 _' C, Z
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 6 ~% S7 {( `2 h5 f  V; P+ g
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 1 ?/ x4 l- }4 y9 w* x' u1 T) S
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 8 l$ E+ U5 b# {* p7 z+ ~3 _+ \
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
. y: y: u* a6 e7 U' Athree minutes are up." " J4 ]. V7 c3 Q, p. [  A
$ z: v6 X3 ?, k5 i7 Z, d3 U% |
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
1 ]2 n0 v8 I3 X2 ?6 q% i. M  i$ U% acalling any minute.
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4 G0 ]* j* t4 {: E2 @2 kFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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/ V4 o- R" P) \' o# s0 `Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
$ [" i* k/ Y7 z; |man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 2 C* ~8 O! W6 q: O
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 9 m5 K$ j. p" a9 E
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
8 t' w3 {' Z" d! \7 cfight?" & |" `( I3 H# ]  i' ]0 Z3 l2 O
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry & R5 h% w  L7 \0 i! ]  o
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
- `# a, n3 A9 |% Ware going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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