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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
+ K" B2 O* S5 ~2 z+ z: ABMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 9 H/ {, l% ?: Q
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ' F# _* z( g* c
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your . k9 m4 f) |. Q/ U
flock, will you give me one?"2 \7 e4 m; k; R( T

5 T5 o0 [( s; k6 \$ \6 [. m" ]( O" jThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
% o: A+ U' J+ d1 ?# Tpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."9 ]2 }5 d9 g/ X8 v* K+ D

3 U. {+ R& ]: r* Y, R/ KThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
  {+ v/ u: b8 W$ I$ ?3 V2 L& j" Xcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 9 W8 M1 t" {$ c: K6 x( o
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
1 X3 q' A2 {5 X& m* Tand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 7 P* E7 ?% k' ^7 g2 s. Q! N% `3 D
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 1 x  U6 K. j" h
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and : R6 W& `4 J1 ?0 s# D4 g
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".* Y/ B( S9 U+ w( S5 I
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ) T& I$ y9 `, t0 Z

* d6 i6 z& x' _" {+ yHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his / w5 A3 P3 b8 a. s+ C
car.
5 U8 L8 z* {7 p/ J- ?. u. O0 H% n0 s  O( i5 f8 ~2 F7 Y- _; l, ^9 `
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
) C# c2 q+ a5 n9 q  E4 `: jis, will you give me back my animal?"8 J6 N5 b3 ^/ ~
1 `. U0 R( s. q! D9 p+ S8 C& o3 G
"OK, why not" answered the young man." o9 z% Q8 D! a, P0 t+ T

. D$ \% Q, m3 w' T5 ?"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
# p9 |1 \6 A6 b: ?* O" L* _# n
" l( b+ v. Z$ q8 T( V8 }8 P"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although " t8 h& J0 O6 M
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 0 s& p3 Q8 Z- Z/ K6 y
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
# ^9 d! Q6 U; V  F5 G2 V4 [me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
$ Y. s2 j; R1 r# {undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 4 X+ V: \7 G) V( \. e1 x7 _
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 6 C9 A/ I2 }. ^) q, t) @% ^$ m, l
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
5 y" m5 }' U9 L) H; U/ c1 j% c  mwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 9 B$ S1 ~- e+ o# ^
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ; Z, {) e4 _0 O! o7 n3 a, f
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
1 v! y2 Y# a& L6 h/ G1 |5 A" }/ Q2 z8 Nopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
2 |- g. C% c8 ]) ]8 _responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ( m8 U7 g, R9 |( {
bags"
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
; X$ M5 B5 `0 _7 }9 Gwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
7 b& |- Y+ f  {2 x. @
; U9 C( t' s% FThe first man married a nurse. 2 d: s- v  m% `  ]5 u, S
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
- t- o/ L4 C: ]Nurses are known to be hot to trot".! H( f* @* N2 [& T3 Y
) C% B. n' k% ~: ~5 c# I
The second man married a telephone operator.
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& E( O% h7 L. B6 h+ p1 MDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
, v/ ]# Y4 c3 h5 MTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 0 ~& A. I9 `  x) E
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. * l2 |' I0 ^! x4 p) s- C
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
/ ?) M* N" ?- t, Zbut teachers are just too frigid".
* @7 g) p8 u; k: H" T7 C; C/ u
: k$ ~3 Q7 D- E! V2 H9 zThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
5 B( p  l4 G/ O3 f! C9 l, z  Monly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 7 Z! x" `  d9 S1 e
would call much later in the day.3 t5 J& r5 I( S2 o
, ]* _6 W8 I8 s# p! X6 r% M( Q
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
" z# k( m% S2 ]* dnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
0 X9 V2 q/ @0 [pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night & V0 P; ~; \( V1 r% o, _- z
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
) P/ P& C& c: n$ ^
9 ~/ ?3 D' h' h# u% Q9 [$ ?At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
: u  G! A, e& Q$ h$ ~as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
6 ]6 ~1 C' L4 \7 Z" o9 D; y: C2 _7 ~in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed./ P4 j5 ~/ M$ y, Y
0 I+ Y) _: K  [# K$ Q( o" e
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
% o. j% U8 P" s/ b1 s! l6 y) Rtheir voices." & w! t! w9 H2 Y) J) |

' z! u4 B7 S& SThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 9 y4 t3 P$ h- y( q1 R0 ?* u
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
5 W% R7 `- u, Othree minutes are up."
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2 h% f; J1 r8 hDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be $ s# m/ d( U% e$ p# t# Y, C7 |
calling any minute.: i  B5 y9 w9 l9 }. V" |* N/ H
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 9 S8 t% n% H. L
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
) ^8 O* n& R. K* k( Z5 whis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
" q# M+ h/ X' mlegs.5 c% Z0 `" s* ~/ M. P: O

, Z6 J. W1 v* g! ]: hJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
( Y( E( o( I- F4 v0 l. w* ~" {fight?"
4 ^+ G1 }' Q# A4 e  I
4 Y+ [0 D5 x4 \. v- }The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry + y  C+ v  H  c" \7 Q; h
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We ; n5 Z0 N7 v+ p" W% _2 o; S
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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