埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4901|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
2 }9 [( ?# I8 O5 K5 F9 S' q9 I1 BBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
2 T9 A* e& ^* ?8 w5 [Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
; k0 m4 [1 t6 `' eand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 7 v& L+ U+ j1 ?2 U
flock, will you give me one?"
$ r" ]# S& c. n1 O7 Q5 o1 I* ^6 {& r5 L# `
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
. E+ ]- }9 f2 s* S. w0 r. wpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
( |/ E9 x0 D4 ^- @4 \* E  t8 C& W9 g* j  ?  P# O2 Z. J! [
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a $ l/ p* o/ p6 o, @& h3 R, v
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
& h; m5 {1 s1 o0 O% qGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
$ v& |. _& {" u7 s3 k) dand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his . S3 c' y' R0 A
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 0 o$ L; _2 D5 ]0 O, F9 }8 t* D
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and + B8 S1 z% I# E6 ^* k
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
% H' X  E+ g3 u6 C! A+ [
2 L; D: n2 i! J0 h) c( y7 R6 J"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 0 Q3 H. \) C7 \" j& C1 g& I( P  I# j! q
  R. `( j" s# _4 O
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
6 i0 C! N0 V7 Icar.+ q7 J+ ~# |" {5 v

0 z- P" U& ~# ]) D* @! u: cThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
: u3 {( K7 ~( x$ qis, will you give me back my animal?"# f5 y4 j, B  z/ R3 D

3 ^1 @1 }5 ?! H7 X5 X* V- j"OK, why not" answered the young man.
2 ?  l  d' X0 J, j! c& r
8 V3 O* e5 e4 c$ L' ["Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 1 `3 c$ I6 u7 o$ E
" Q# X/ f0 u" u+ H) m3 a
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"$ }; Y! @0 z2 s% b; o! ^& |% x

5 g3 h. I) a/ t; J" t( ~: U& s. t"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although - V8 y' f! ]! B( k; f1 p
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 2 ]/ W, ~0 z/ o1 d( _
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ; D7 R9 K/ W. }& O: Q$ z
me back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is - v, E: v* y/ b9 m; {
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
" A/ ]' z: @4 [. p& e* pNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
( g* E* Y! j& Smoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
& a6 c" a; i" J$ u2 Bwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran . ^. R, @4 h9 I& e8 f4 n
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 9 \! Y: l% ^3 o
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
; q4 s/ e7 ^" |6 ]+ Z- x: c# F7 zopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 5 q9 q$ O( P0 @+ f' i& F4 Z
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 0 O+ k6 o) [' h. s/ j) O
bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ( ?' R6 Z9 R1 c
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 1 c% i1 I' S/ Q( B5 H; r9 V
( h7 {- o% k6 }& v/ ?0 |: N7 j; U
The first man married a nurse.
* Y) D7 ]' k* r1 T/ R
5 X4 ~6 @- W) D* D; ^/ J" X/ L4 ODave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 2 k0 J$ Y) g1 V: M4 j
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".& Y1 Z/ r) J8 E' `
+ \; ^! x. J: H
The second man married a telephone operator.
. _& ~- ]: d5 O5 ]7 I) V" @( j; b6 V) ]& V
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
7 l" g5 ?. c& N8 I& z8 ^+ q1 S/ vTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top & W8 N6 s, d- O3 \
button...A-bomb.?
9 U3 U* `) [2 \) @) ]: u, z* ]5 s6 `8 e3 e: E; h6 L8 _3 r
The third man married a school teacher. 5 ^( g- @) `! M/ F- \
9 }0 T8 x$ b- ^% f: A) O
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
6 I5 h% ?2 Q6 g  y* m+ G% Tbut teachers are just too frigid".! d& N; }7 Z7 I& \  ~) y. I

( X0 o( ~" G. {" b1 CThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected : d) Y) n: _5 a8 }6 O
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 6 N( h" d# @$ r: C/ V" T. L! E
would call much later in the day.
4 t. M2 W6 L  J/ v. K
' }  c& Y9 S+ n3 M% b, IAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The # G( E& i$ U4 [/ w7 S4 O5 A3 U
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
& {; e8 P. I1 D( H& T5 W' j5 `2 opajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. ) d' V2 o$ f& J& m$ ~

4 a( B$ {, l: X7 X' R3 [  iDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
( R6 L5 n! |: L$ q* B7 N3 ]* V5 D- @9 x
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 j7 |% c; I* O2 dwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
/ T& L* S8 b4 c, V" U$ v; X
9 Z) n4 z! t) R0 g% WAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.9 p( z- K# I: A: r/ I: }) u
$ q) T" d2 n2 e  U% q3 R4 w
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast : R" j2 Q, p' u3 B, z2 b2 m# h
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back . Z' u/ f6 R3 U; S$ Z/ ^$ Q3 q& y
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.! r- f3 }$ L% s1 W

( O6 O$ G; @+ y( b1 |Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
: |: f; L4 t! I! u% l  i% X7 M0 `their voices." , I2 J( e$ }  Z, {& g; J, }+ a

7 t3 O7 z7 \/ S# C7 s' V8 V) OThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
- g) L  x# G# z& W# ^heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
6 [. a: I: P$ o- l* m) t. i/ B8 Lthree minutes are up."
! g2 `! [! [1 c. b" s8 U* g$ L0 E
! |% z0 V& o* [6 Z6 Z( x0 ~Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
1 C- ?5 l" g# B: bcalling any minute.
7 ~5 L4 Y9 s6 m, e! i" g( U/ O) D
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
2 w( D' b0 l: N& z  H( f% k0 j  B! f3 s9 E8 C
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
. F4 J( l/ b. t" |: {4 Oman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only ( l# c, }! K3 o* V7 W+ i2 F, ~
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and # d# A) L: |' N' ~$ [
legs.
/ p( K& s& O5 n: g' e* u( d( K; f! t+ l
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a - ~; X) b- X' K" Z& |; E' F
fight?" / ^+ w; F% p" V* |+ x! H7 u
8 L+ s- S1 H' K1 V
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
: ?2 @- G% Z; v: f5 [) d4 Xa school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
' O5 v" g3 ^3 M# i- f" Z, v. ~are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-5-8 21:19 , Processed in 0.137503 second(s), 13 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表