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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 8 f1 E4 B7 b" B! E
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a $ ?' K' j$ t" c* ^( \0 M
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 4 E% u. R7 F, A2 V& x5 q( ^) s5 I
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
, t. l# T' _! J- P& [: M. aflock, will you give me one?". H2 X. ?+ C8 f+ q

6 M3 T8 k3 q6 d8 [- JThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
& y/ P" L& \! y; G$ P3 d5 H1 }peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."0 j' I" f/ T; M0 ]( J# X
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
) [$ {- Q+ D. ?+ i. v, q7 hcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a : [8 i8 @0 ?$ l' d% x+ a) M
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
/ e, `: L, D6 X9 F* land an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his * {4 L& n1 O3 t4 P; T
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out , U- G0 H+ |4 Z& X
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and : A+ t- a8 X& `9 D
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".( d% b5 ?5 ~& {

0 r5 D2 Y: d; t# H: I, N' z: C4 e"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 9 g' i8 P2 s4 e& `% N# V& I

6 A' L9 R2 c8 v7 m. THe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
1 ~+ i$ n4 E3 ^* E3 C( X/ j: Y6 E1 x* Vcar.4 S2 [! ?6 E6 P7 R; ]4 g- r

- _* Y* E5 r3 {0 i1 D$ d0 k& mThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 8 z) n$ Z4 j6 L- c
is, will you give me back my animal?"; G8 i$ q% E, l& e

# J: Z3 U& X0 R: ?2 s8 _" p"OK, why not" answered the young man.: m$ {& Q, `  _4 S% M
2 w! i" \2 z4 b- z8 y
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. ' _1 C# P: `8 G/ r  F& ]0 o

0 }8 s( |- @1 i! \' f"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"; d- U4 V) G% {

. ^+ V: {) q& n; N1 b7 e"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
$ v% P, n2 b" Lnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
. r- Q5 J1 b7 W5 `question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
4 ]4 j4 u8 I4 V* D" Gme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
; w  h9 m& F$ V" }undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". : j  A+ @  ]( t; ~7 a2 _5 n
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
. e; X3 G; R% _' Wmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper / W; y& p- Y; ?
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
, V$ D0 w; h/ k, S% hinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
9 e" T7 T% M' g7 eher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
+ A2 m) S% J5 [% n) l$ H6 _9 kopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 7 T, f: E/ t6 M! `3 r1 ]0 O
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle : D$ o  k. u# i5 Z
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
* p* U! d5 P+ ]! ], Y/ U8 twhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 8 }$ F5 n% z2 k4 h  b2 U. D  [
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The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
  I4 D& a& G8 m. z4 a, y* m5 kNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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+ c- l7 R4 x: P3 Q, `* F* YDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
" e. w( X4 C& A* p3 s9 g; lTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
+ }/ C. O' a5 g* Vbutton...A-bomb.?$ E- v( _. t; [  m, o! w/ o& q
9 N6 O3 u8 O( ]) N( r2 p
The third man married a school teacher. - w: N* A$ e7 Q0 }

& |+ b0 i$ p5 m7 IDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty ! k6 W6 W; I" X& f; I
but teachers are just too frigid".
# d5 e* ^9 g8 m8 k; X' H8 L8 J( N+ ?7 e
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 1 u$ n' T6 P8 r  k
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
- Q. i7 Q) l' f/ D1 M# N6 c. @would call much later in the day.: y; {) l2 Q6 U' }$ a

5 E1 M7 o9 @  uAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The # i1 \0 {, K# n8 R* M9 ?1 u0 h
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
6 n! |8 D. P- z3 h2 spajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
% U1 B& Z3 j6 P1 J; c# W2 n# V! x/ q6 h
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.; n/ ~0 q* Q" A

$ I1 N" m6 F6 D9 MThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 W2 u% {( d4 e, |! B( wwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."* g( k: K$ ^5 A: e, u+ L6 r

9 f! |. C! L5 cAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
: z- L9 U" \7 l& Y" i1 Q% n  y( x4 D
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast * r/ u& ~* Q: ]1 B9 ^" G; K
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
$ }2 Y- j" w( k4 y/ o% |$ Q7 `$ ?in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
+ E! T* H/ Q. d  C7 f) N
0 U4 K$ p, j- q3 t$ xDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as . x6 \- D0 r7 d( D
their voices." 0 s9 h4 g. M% T+ A
: P. W) Q. d1 o/ |7 h. {0 M
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ; @8 r% J$ M5 p; h3 s; f
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 6 D/ Z( S' c8 s' `7 [: q
three minutes are up." $ w6 Y6 n/ f% m( u/ P
$ B% P1 R4 y2 p4 P, L
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be % j1 L, I7 W) H4 d: q. i' x! f
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
$ h% u* t1 N; i$ gman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
: h* Y' Y+ I# ]# Y& ^7 ~+ X  chis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and : h' V) x# m- I# e
legs.9 U! o; e- m' N& m0 \: m
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
, s- S0 L# H5 J8 l6 ^  Tfight?"
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. ?: I7 o5 @  `8 Q8 lThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
' I8 C; G, T; X  u) N/ }: Z1 Ba school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
# v8 C% m; N) I3 Oare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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