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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
" n% d, E: G8 Q5 ~  y" pBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a , t* P+ d' K' G0 G: i
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window * z3 @. h, z) N7 ?- V
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ; U# |9 Z4 Z: s
flock, will you give me one?"$ x3 L) Q# Z+ e$ v, J) X
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his $ F9 G1 R; L+ G5 C' I
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
- g5 v% G% u% K1 _+ Ucell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 7 S, @+ @' w. x% C' Q
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ; f) _3 ?6 M, w. j" S0 i3 m7 n
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
4 f/ R- J% t8 v( X+ pBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ' D: n+ p" q2 [5 U8 J3 \% z: h: z6 |
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and - g9 L+ g% I8 U  Q& O- e
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".' y$ w0 m& O7 J$ e

3 U2 Q+ {5 K7 e! c9 |"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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0 u8 ?# O; R. y, }* yHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
# c* w. |  P0 W( x; x$ P  Ucar.; d: X$ G2 L- H3 O& }

' w0 T& A' E; P- ^- B9 T& ]Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
7 D! n  N3 W9 K) j3 \' cis, will you give me back my animal?"8 J( V  v' ?" F: |9 F0 S0 K& B
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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7 {/ Y  S+ T, ["Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. $ g; g8 ?6 z) Q9 y# ]& U

' l/ C8 s5 a- K& z% O: n"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"  T+ c" x+ B; U) a
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although , D! R7 U$ ^+ u6 b: r# z2 U4 B$ r5 L
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
5 Z% l/ h) d* R; [question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 s. a" }1 P9 |3 W4 W( R! V! E
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is $ @8 ^2 g1 q8 D
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
/ z+ j2 w1 A2 w" U- h! ]Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few - @$ A+ R# m' \. ~
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper . H1 s+ e$ Y: l, n. E* N, b0 @2 W
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 4 Y2 G1 q& R7 V0 p/ x
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
* S' W- \* T4 C. K# Bher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was ( p, w4 T( ]# c0 r# z; ?/ p
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman : ~/ J$ Q: ]) u9 h
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
' K6 L: i) H, Q/ @! W/ g, w3 Ubags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ! f1 ]2 g3 p$ p' j* w$ J
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. * H( A+ a, }. F8 u3 c( i

1 y: a) e' q" ~  v) R" X1 FThe first man married a nurse. 7 h# E" g/ M) g# @

# G5 J* \8 J' ?, W: T; O; HDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
7 r. o3 R7 O" L7 b1 FNurses are known to be hot to trot".
5 q: x5 ^2 J; I' O% {
- L; A% t* @; f  yThe second man married a telephone operator. " J& G) L* m/ ^3 i; e+ N+ m
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. * Q- J/ X0 t3 l# p7 e, Y
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 7 v6 P) E$ |/ U* j2 U8 _7 u: [
button...A-bomb.?  @* |5 n. B% }7 j, r6 T

( T! P2 b) {5 F. f( EThe third man married a school teacher. - H5 p# J7 U( i% C7 W5 y. y* }$ p
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 0 o. \. E9 t' `- Y' C
but teachers are just too frigid".
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( N% d5 G( G- n. V5 V% a. f9 r- C% DThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected + q" V5 r5 u' k( F, X0 Y- w7 {/ ?
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
" ~& m- _2 p- V- V( v- R- Qwould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
( D7 j; w2 c) i4 E* ]' s/ Tnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
2 S) W9 K; j2 s9 T7 H* I( zpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. - H' ]. z1 S+ R/ Y

: b9 a# ~* Y0 O+ T: i8 r0 PDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night ) r, w  J$ z- h) E1 x
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."0 ~0 x/ w; c2 R& i* A7 s

) y7 v4 t6 \9 y0 I; VAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.3 }* E2 O7 d# M1 w" y
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast " G/ c9 N- ]& _- S
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back $ Q7 o4 G) h5 ]$ A# X. N
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 6 A4 n" `2 \/ K# F
their voices." 4 x; `; c/ n$ q
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ! f0 `0 V& ?( A: D' K3 g" t
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
" Q6 }( q7 Y4 U6 ?" athree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
9 W4 q, H5 b. D- O1 C* ?# Ucalling any minute.6 p* j- d* H8 _& x$ E
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.2 w) B8 z5 T; K+ m3 q

+ I2 Q' V8 A  R$ `0 `& k) T- FDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ) V0 S7 P' B5 k( Q8 b6 h
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only - l8 B/ Z8 l6 n# T
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
! \3 T& r, g' M% Klegs.
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8 X; m4 W% k. f$ R( K; tJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
" W' @7 D! D  z5 l5 e- N  ffight?"
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" P+ A- y* r) a( x0 vThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
  C, c+ A3 W" g7 @/ j: H" T& l; Ea school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 5 _* _0 L6 [& ]4 I* j
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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