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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
( f6 a9 E. g& a2 Y6 G  gBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
( ]! u$ _8 n- \0 mBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
: _* T! Q/ F; A- o/ jand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
1 g; Q& A5 v) ^; \# m8 [flock, will you give me one?"2 k/ y; f  S. U1 V! p% ?
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his ) F( d0 }# ~! r0 @$ a* g6 W
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ( A! j; ~' V! [$ ^% P2 S7 ?
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 2 M5 e8 i8 C& u# [# x
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database / u* B: R4 L( \& L$ a
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
5 P. X8 W: e0 l: _9 z  |% xBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
. y2 [! G. C0 B* b! U: L/ _, s  Ia 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
  h: s( |$ V- {. tsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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3 m% o  V2 B2 E  `"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 0 V0 D( f' O, `+ _( ^
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his % _& b5 r" @  m' f5 l
car.% I! H5 Q! s( [3 v$ D
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
3 I1 ?6 y, ]4 ]. A7 r2 `is, will you give me back my animal?"
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8 D0 ^) m- a4 F; ^' m"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although ; R  D5 a5 p: Z6 ]) X( P+ {
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 1 C% }# ?6 `4 s* T
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
! S1 A8 f6 u( @3 T) [me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 5 s; [. O' S- V  Q& |" Z
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
/ K2 v0 v3 F9 @Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
6 C( e: H  S  y; x8 m2 I8 Cmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
6 b( K2 K4 e" d. Wwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
2 b( B7 N0 Z$ A$ G4 w' Tinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
: X! \3 p/ X2 Q/ z% ^1 |her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
2 x: t* u8 O/ Jopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman $ q( r. E* Y7 @. e& n
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 4 I8 p- H$ Z8 I2 s$ O+ c/ l9 u5 G. w
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ; ^0 H* Z" S# g- f3 G
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ) {$ s$ f2 a( Y  v

/ s3 C5 f. `' V  [- |# u" f# Y& ZThe first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. * k% P0 D/ ]. \8 z$ z
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".5 ~9 Y3 L& d2 A* q% e

7 m/ q  ^) \, J2 F5 h; r, }The second man married a telephone operator. ) B. M7 k, q2 i& t8 m# N
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
* o4 W6 ~' @5 x* lTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 3 `: @! |) N1 d$ v
button...A-bomb.?0 ^5 j4 f2 ?+ S8 o0 q; ~

* y) x: O9 r  E0 M2 o& V2 c/ OThe third man married a school teacher. , k0 G$ u; }6 z  A( d

' I, c, n  P+ J$ P8 ~" qDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
& S" J& H4 @/ ]/ u8 u) S6 ybut teachers are just too frigid".
/ t1 @( w$ N. N  y. W8 n  X& `
* x3 r# D2 x# b. I6 RThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
; }2 @7 w: o6 G: x/ sonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two   ], H0 _% v! y" Z; V  g: |
would call much later in the day.0 l, L8 }+ V2 b" C) X/ }( Z& L7 L
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 0 y- E/ P! Q; Q# v) r
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
( U2 a  V, c! _$ cpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.   v2 u9 F% Y$ B+ f, r% G# e- n
# B% n& W8 u9 E6 L0 {. E% h3 f
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.* }& }% {3 D; C  _

' B- A& _9 o6 xThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
5 M! M" W+ Z3 ~0 v/ vwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
) `0 {( w8 c# C0 ~. \2 M- B% h! ?
- K' L# N! c& zAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again." g) k' K3 n5 }% |0 B

9 L, H3 p/ v' h7 UThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast   i  \' d8 {1 b
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back . L1 D2 g! G/ b$ h$ J3 f$ \
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
5 n- Y: p/ D3 w5 z5 C" H' J" Y3 N; V$ f) P$ n& M: i, W# _2 o/ Q2 p3 q" ]
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as - n4 P7 `% @/ ]# p. ~  K
their voices." 5 G5 g6 W% i3 G7 D$ A* \
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ( h; \1 L% _# n9 g1 d) F
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 0 X: n& ~! i' I
three minutes are up." / w- P, h+ j1 C- S7 Q

2 A- h; q9 K& J6 v8 a4 J' pDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be $ p2 p+ ^! ^( ~2 }
calling any minute., b1 I  _9 a8 k5 Y& n' r; e1 E& j9 I

& f( H) H$ C, ]Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The $ i& i: K4 i/ M7 v0 e0 P
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
7 \, I! H, E  U3 Q6 @0 v" |" Lhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
6 m: |- D8 {2 t+ ~& F; A! k: klegs.- ]9 _8 f4 r7 ~4 p( L2 B

& v* l  Q  M# H3 l5 \Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
/ W# v8 [$ t! b# I3 {fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
+ e3 l7 B) L# A. }1 H  _a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
2 _1 W; f) {1 m6 L1 K5 yare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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