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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new " I: K# b+ h  O1 E
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
% |: E: N. l" C4 ]! q+ W5 q( @! R/ \7 Q, iBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ' O) t1 j0 L2 g$ t7 y
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 5 d6 v/ x# b0 t9 ?
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
7 \! ^  k  K7 S5 _( B& \" Wpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."! F: I6 F) B' \( V  B& u

1 S. H( J  H) HThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
! G0 X0 T1 `, z7 a+ I& X, Ycell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ) ]" P5 W# y* @6 j
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database " ?' N9 N/ T: l4 K
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
* m, q# H: M* E+ L" l: ZBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out , i" B7 E- @, u8 k/ B
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
$ ]8 N4 V% R. E+ wsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"./ G% K* q2 P: W1 ?0 J
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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3 r1 v' n) a6 ?+ SHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
0 U7 j) e$ ^" i+ [: F) fcar.
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# Y# e$ }, W" O  {. F9 {3 x, aThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
# u' K$ N$ p$ ]2 R- P) nis, will you give me back my animal?"
" `" L. }0 u3 l0 I
/ p. Z( i+ w3 h$ a; U5 S& T"OK, why not" answered the young man., V9 b8 ~/ I9 y# B5 p

7 ?8 ^  m( ^0 Y/ G5 B"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 8 F; a6 a6 c- H* V

) N, v4 t3 ~( ?0 ]% R"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
% @% x, A& ?- B# nnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
* R9 V- ]( }* n. e& s* dquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give / F3 O/ w- N( D
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
, l/ @& u) A; T% |; ]undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
9 v6 i% K, `5 y5 S0 BNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
2 @8 m% X/ E% q- d4 b3 jmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper " O/ Q4 Q- q* C* X* @! B
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
+ C! u3 u# y) t" ]2 S4 D. u7 _into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ; V9 E- f& W1 d
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was + u% r, O  g+ |5 x1 \
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
% ], S( t. `! ~responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle % b7 K8 u. H; [7 X( S" ]- v
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
) D1 k" |3 F7 T0 qwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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9 c/ ?9 O! o- z& @1 a0 rThe first man married a nurse. $ C. r/ X  g1 z; [! d% e

5 e, \4 h6 R% P- vDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
- N6 r( i) U# m! y, LNurses are known to be hot to trot".  w' ~: `2 K* C9 I
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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% z4 F8 k$ M/ a- k4 s* cDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ; {- m8 @# i! s' [3 L! ]9 ]# O' i
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 8 G( A5 G! x# U* |' R4 P
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. 5 _7 X! `! f* b$ X. i
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
$ w0 b6 p/ V# Ibut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 3 [- E3 w2 h$ `+ a, o+ Q
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ' S* W5 f/ w1 _$ u" q# @+ i, Z
would call much later in the day.
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' Z3 O, f) j9 p* r" {. G6 eAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The * t, d  }4 r3 G/ |% h2 F8 f
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
9 s: V5 y4 K- ~7 P8 w9 @4 Wpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. - y) G# F- L" l+ c; Z
) I# t; |( U% ^' s* ]  \5 g2 c# {
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
! G( n" }  @; u6 I/ t) J: E% g7 y  G( }% d& a& j- \. q. F
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
! o/ A0 i2 r% K7 O2 Owas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."4 m% ^8 \6 n4 a
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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# `& T+ O2 Y& D/ T& L( D: EThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast ( {% V6 Y: |9 w) I9 t$ p# n, j
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
  Z/ f- o  K5 T" S+ k2 Z6 @in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.' s  ~$ B* @' P: R. t7 r
8 \3 t) ~) ~8 W% s- K
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
. H; f3 a8 [4 B- N* Ptheir voices."
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$ U" h6 M: \9 n. `/ R+ ]The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
4 v' T# g% K0 M0 Jheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
6 g% j, ?$ q  B- d3 {/ b# v0 Tthree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
8 y& I( T# x4 u) U& \0 [6 gcalling any minute.7 s( d) b9 ~) _+ y( e. s

2 D, z8 G7 I! G" l8 D( ?6 D0 S9 AFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.2 l7 Z0 g* h7 C) q
+ z) P$ |7 m' Y' a; T) P- N1 g0 d- Q
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The , J) L  h9 A+ y$ _5 e9 I+ V6 J
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
6 u% L9 C/ W- `5 z, ohis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
8 t) W5 W1 C- r0 o( W( c: {) u5 m1 Blegs.: |4 M3 ~0 C& ^" R; x* C* F3 L
; q7 L5 O. ~: s2 x# e( G
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a / \. Q& g! M1 c2 s6 h
fight?" / N, L/ u/ v  l, n5 O
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
" m& `* `* X/ S7 ~a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 9 u0 n! Y. V% {; i& m; k
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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