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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new / ?  ?/ \' G. e' h, r+ N+ [0 M
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
# z7 _* |3 Z" x2 P9 A% CBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 7 A, A: m2 [# o% ?
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
$ I0 d. n4 Y( ?0 Rflock, will you give me one?"  ~  R) [. d) i) L; b) l6 A" D; o
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
1 l3 a( N' W* a7 speacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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& U1 s; O- a6 K, kThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 1 e9 k% ^2 g: U. E
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 8 |; N+ Z5 D1 e) q" p
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
0 I4 Y7 O% _" c6 U$ hand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his " f# c! o. [3 m. c; G& E
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
+ E( ]$ y! e! `- P* ]a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and $ M8 h# m( w! ~
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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* k- q% |6 y5 q% m+ g: z; T9 x7 y6 ~1 C9 Y"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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" H. U7 r1 o2 `( Y3 ZHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
- z. S9 ~- ^0 P9 o5 y* e2 bcar." p) A) g8 f) D# N9 z
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
+ ~6 g, R' u8 lis, will you give me back my animal?"* d! q/ g: i  M/ M$ M+ R
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.: y' N% Y  B1 `* O
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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7 a# \- V9 M5 v+ i"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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! R5 f) P4 d. t! t" `8 ]  {"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
6 Z4 b0 v; H# J  r9 r: q! mnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
. S( Y. J$ Z- h: xquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ! M  t8 Y8 T+ I" ?
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ' @8 T0 L% J& {% I
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
+ ^7 N& b: c' iNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few , S! t$ M- q$ T4 ^
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 5 e& e% ]/ Q$ {1 {- L- @/ f
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran : Q" x4 }0 o8 ~5 N& w2 a4 j
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
1 C5 e, N# z: J3 Cher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was # }0 S+ h" p( h, J7 r9 t
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
9 f/ X! _* X0 X% g+ D( N/ Mresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
& Q9 g; {/ K, q8 u" ^3 Ibags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
, `+ d$ V% L2 g  e2 y% `3 Lwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
5 p, D$ A1 s0 b! {0 ^# w. L9 @: _. H' Q. G+ _& a
The first man married a nurse.
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2 e1 f# o4 Z3 l; `6 {  ?2 GDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
$ s) j& P) T* g" s* I+ R1 ^! `Nurses are known to be hot to trot".  }: Z2 Z; `0 Q" g" i- T

5 f$ T& h+ D! c3 h+ g3 f/ hThe second man married a telephone operator.
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4 }! [- E$ A- Z( H2 F* t7 g# MDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
3 F" V6 U% P2 T1 f( lTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 4 A6 E4 V, P8 Z+ a5 [
button...A-bomb.?3 r/ Z% j0 l; D. c' d+ K. y

' D/ T4 |. |2 P8 ~8 v  CThe third man married a school teacher. ) b1 D8 j3 u- J) m1 X

' D" I- j* B6 a! L4 z5 C* jDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
7 @$ D" x8 \5 `. e3 v3 jbut teachers are just too frigid".
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8 a. \# f+ I. M# L# }4 L( HThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 7 s- l6 G, q' i9 z9 D/ U. O2 ?
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
# v; @$ _8 y1 dwould call much later in the day.! r' R) Y+ w: ?. E- o) `  @3 k# A

  ?2 Q0 `5 a" I- kAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
  l7 z( B( p: J0 E0 _' t2 L# Snurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
+ r* K3 Y" C" c/ i1 Y- i( y# [pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 3 z8 R( p0 P! T* }4 ]6 q# y
: h% @/ O0 M* N
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 3 w+ q5 o1 B9 W1 y: J9 Q& A8 V
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.) a1 r$ r4 q1 l. C$ d

( o1 y/ k" c1 A% w; MThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 1 _5 z$ L0 _" y- w+ a1 x
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back # Z+ A+ T2 J+ l7 {! r0 A) s( W
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed./ N- l$ A& {8 H0 F
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as $ h* F4 V! i3 d1 h8 R" n$ Q
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
; K0 M  P& i  P  H( `0 {; xheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your / q, F- V% ^8 _' |
three minutes are up."
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' o- ]/ l. v# Z; rDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
/ b- ^: a/ V; K4 l7 }6 F) s2 zcalling any minute.3 I+ L. P$ ]9 o% Z
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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3 l8 }& S1 q% a4 |3 x% z$ k/ EDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The : X; e! e0 a5 v" S7 t
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only $ x( f: a7 V9 _8 I" D$ m
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
! f, [& _2 K8 Mlegs.5 R) p" h! W  t3 u/ I# d3 U
+ P% @3 k  x5 Y8 r
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a * p8 n- e% c( \! L1 a9 f
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
! o+ y$ @! w. c' j6 L, g) Ba school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
. A: L: e3 B: }* g$ l8 J. D  V, gare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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