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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 9 m- T! e- o+ `- \- J
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 3 y- |! x2 h/ Y
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 5 A! ]7 `  k' Z/ h6 \* Q* S
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
' G4 t* A  L! q0 {' [7 W& cflock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his / }' |  l2 i' N! Q5 B
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."0 x2 O. o2 V& ?

, A( s) I# ]5 p- ^. j  jThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a # I) i0 O6 e$ W" H, _
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
$ H$ k/ X1 I3 p8 B; i) vGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
1 |1 L2 R5 @3 c" _5 Rand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
3 `, Z! @% o$ zBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 0 S& e- {6 [/ B6 k: H& I
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
8 w8 y9 }5 k  t; Y# |says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. * H. ~( y2 K7 P, X% H. x

/ `3 k4 S3 l  Z/ IHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his $ Q8 v: j5 m( M4 ]1 u/ T. Q0 G# f: {
car.: o/ A; X- X; o1 j- a# i! ?
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
, s2 g6 I; K' x" o# pis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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! P6 G% k3 M" U  K/ t* `"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. : q. p+ F/ X' l) h3 X: N

+ g3 y! B" n# _7 G7 ]$ N"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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# K6 B0 i$ l  r* V7 X1 Q0 A"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
( u+ Z! r# y3 D# x  J+ {nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 4 ~' d8 t8 d+ M' R5 r4 s7 i
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
. q9 \' P7 z' g1 S/ v  ~me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
. t! u$ G+ V1 Z& k+ pundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 1 I% q7 D! w4 |1 \3 P3 j$ a
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
1 s  H2 p8 ^. j2 i1 e/ T' o8 [moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
5 u" e4 x; I* R. q8 m. ]/ Ewas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ! w) S5 y% O7 |. b+ J1 K
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into . {- ~+ g4 B1 n
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
: Y& \% ^& `' F$ _' U9 Hopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman & P* D8 T' S1 f% t" j
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ; K; d! d% x* N
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 3 g, ]% {# k4 I/ x% ?. F; V' h
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. , i4 |; J7 ?5 e9 e8 V  j
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The first man married a nurse. 2 ^- p' ~! L% f
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 6 a- m; F9 N5 x
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".* g: x0 Z: V. |: [) I
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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8 @1 @3 T, X( _9 M8 u: w7 g* \! @4 QDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. - X5 ]  Z! B# d' `3 q: S* t
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top   O7 h4 t( K# v. d7 s- R
button...A-bomb.?
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* G8 {  T! p- t! I& g: b2 `The third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
' N3 }0 e' H6 O6 r7 w: Y/ qbut teachers are just too frigid".1 t0 R2 o1 ^  k: M% h+ y! l: I

  `/ V' i, M- [The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected % w- M1 x& B1 u  ^" Q  }
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
: V: G! a! e4 Q! t0 W" pwould call much later in the day.5 x/ H  k7 \5 b0 s

  W: U) t6 k  e2 x7 WAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The : v0 {  Z* z# d0 m# ?
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
( v2 J: J( D3 t  J: \pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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; S6 z$ n% G# {% S& C" x. jDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.- @( H0 {7 c- \. i& G* q: f
5 H/ q6 k& u0 J5 ]
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
2 y" X7 x/ n& h/ a  ~. lwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary.". m9 o0 h) O& J$ y* r* ^
$ n1 [0 d9 I; _; }6 i
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.* q; R  k& X: V8 q" g3 |. r
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast , l# R5 X) Q: H7 s" U* G, T
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back ) i' M3 e4 l- W; ?9 @
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.0 W$ Z' T# J0 u  I: h: ?" S! d1 F; E
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
7 e; R0 g8 J" `; gtheir voices." ) ~# b! H8 N8 u8 b0 ~

5 b/ r  z/ q; XThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
3 @. ^4 f$ n( X( l4 ~heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ! M" u8 W' G7 q
three minutes are up."
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( k" L# F2 d+ |* C/ Q6 m5 V0 {" {Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
4 l1 c" O8 u8 d, fcalling any minute.1 P; Y; ]4 E) G

6 B; H3 G4 u- g" OFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 1 F' U+ I) e4 K0 b4 n2 W
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only , d9 J- K2 _2 H# q! ^1 c7 q5 f
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
" D5 w5 }  z" s5 u) elegs.
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# j% J+ ~' q5 @( B; tJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 6 P1 P, K0 o3 S; D/ j
fight?" 7 H. s0 t1 ]3 h4 s

) [% w9 t6 }, a6 V- v: l( cThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
  x' H. C# A7 g9 Z% ]5 H( P- |8 Ea school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
$ J3 I# l1 J+ ?0 Yare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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