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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 6 R  E+ K( P, u) [/ w
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a & C5 N$ b) Q$ h# K  X
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 1 h6 s. H& P' ?7 u
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your # ]+ x) t0 o; y! V9 ?2 N- g, q
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 5 O* m3 K" k& z6 x, P
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."1 I" D& h: n  x- k; F8 T

3 |5 |+ f) q% ~5 X' p( z) JThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
* \9 i5 f. c$ L5 M  {cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
8 G$ K- Z  O& ^GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
1 W3 z! o) s4 n9 ~and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
, t( P/ ~9 }8 eBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 8 m% G3 |0 p- B/ @; @! U5 j
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and ! C3 E; ?3 M1 g- |7 f9 M
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".8 O" I9 d% s- v$ E* B  S
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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( y, t# x9 D- `He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his - x3 ?3 g1 Z3 ^$ l1 X& F
car.
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; F8 ]! k6 t$ g8 UThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
7 `& s. t( K% ^2 F- v9 E( Gis, will you give me back my animal?"  l3 R5 p( w1 f8 W: t
( h& }) x2 Z0 E) t: \
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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5 j2 ~( c7 b1 ["That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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+ @4 |6 Z2 L) a2 i% C/ a& K: S$ h& x"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
+ n  V9 d+ J2 Anobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
8 A- M$ K) `- ^2 H  |question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 6 r" s( ~7 h# f1 k1 S
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ( m9 C' X7 p/ A; T( ~$ p! ]
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ) l/ F- T7 h+ l* l5 x, y9 c
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
! m1 u  N0 {: rmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 7 z' j# i! m7 v5 a; B
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
. }+ i( i: f5 I" t1 W+ C( l8 Linto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
, {; F4 K, B8 y( @5 Q- }her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was / F) {/ y  {9 {+ G
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
1 a& G3 p# Z2 z1 p/ u) \3 c+ ^responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
4 `# x( |+ |- X: h! f% Q' k/ }0 y9 jbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
, ^# K$ R1 \& `; Kwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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$ ]7 t+ t: x5 K- p% HThe first man married a nurse. ) o$ _8 C6 q( \
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ! r0 F  u, ~: U, a/ R' z( ?
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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& t6 ^; B& I8 ~  s/ cThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
; P+ M$ l3 V, q0 _! O0 ~Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top * W$ {7 K0 R5 @7 j" H; o% e. r; _: v
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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% P6 K$ S$ Y$ \" ]! oDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
- B( c& Q, u8 _+ `8 u$ kbut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected + F# A$ C& G% D5 T, Q3 u
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
! u6 J6 n( j8 s; l$ gwould call much later in the day.: e: v& L: e$ y, f- _: c$ V
6 U* @0 C( H4 {; d' t$ l
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
9 u( O1 E# s6 A$ P" Ynurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
; \3 m+ U+ f( t+ W$ ]2 I8 t3 xpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.   h0 p* D/ W7 ?3 J# e+ k7 J) C6 ]" z

' c7 C9 Z) m% |2 qDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse." n  P+ v3 T5 r8 a7 B! W- E
2 m2 D1 t" Z8 Z3 R
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
# n) c4 [8 F8 n$ I5 k/ H( j- Hwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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! q" F4 F" d, y. H$ b1 `% ^At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.6 x  m2 _8 v3 c. P* L- r

! ^2 P, h3 R, |5 YThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 6 S  K' T" W& U- D% m' o6 m
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
- J! F, ?- C$ din shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.6 y# v. A3 C4 d' H9 n+ K6 A

9 j( n' d7 T( M, wDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
, i) H$ `/ [4 s; m  Btheir voices." % j4 y+ A  ]- |' y8 V

- j' c- ]( A* k) T0 MThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I / A7 b0 J, @" s/ g
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
. J1 |: O, l9 F' {1 |3 pthree minutes are up." # d2 |, K' o. u  A% ~: V, Y( C
: ~/ ]1 L( I- q4 B
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 4 P" |* \+ P6 I8 g9 r4 t, ^2 q# p( l
calling any minute.. A% c* F4 v; @9 g: P

2 w5 T1 q  N: N& {! `1 ]  jFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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& m' U2 C) V$ ]1 p: @2 K# LDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The , L9 F  g4 s# C4 C
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only . [1 [& }. O7 l" `
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
5 n- `7 J8 ?1 D9 b$ Mlegs.0 s! [6 d, _. n9 W. P* R2 S3 g6 B
! m6 |2 o* M. Q
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ( t( o: m- M6 v0 G3 m6 d
fight?" 0 {1 I( G; d$ a+ a9 \( K

  [$ r( D' `% C# RThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
4 N) L& P3 q7 \) L$ c  ma school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
9 s# O4 W2 R  a, u& H; D9 ~+ zare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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