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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new ( i+ j& R6 V5 O3 Y! k$ w
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
+ I9 t" O3 S8 }0 e( WBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
- {- P4 k! ]+ }4 O9 Sand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your % R. p4 g# w- p9 F' j9 D7 u
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his + R- U3 _" U& {
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."+ U$ I) U( B# [8 H2 Q, i9 F" f0 ?

; G% {2 T4 Z' h+ `; ]/ @; }The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
& u" D) s8 T. h  U7 ecell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
7 r; _3 ?3 t6 r$ z) b9 ?GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database # f* v: ?' a" g) a8 a) \8 M. m  p3 q
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
+ b* I2 L4 ]/ f9 i5 QBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
8 }, c- t7 R$ F' fa 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
* T: R, j1 c. Y/ b1 E2 ^6 Asays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".: Y* P; K, \/ B* \; q; k  V: {! `
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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: ]( U. }# w6 `1 @4 \" VHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
- P7 m) i4 r- M" @/ l, \; C9 ccar.
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3 p9 h: l- ^! ^$ ]' z& {' RThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
8 T, v# ?* f! K5 D3 N0 Mis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. , ?) f; k% I1 {7 P7 v* x5 T
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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- |: S0 v, c9 S"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 0 F* q7 w) X. V% C) T
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a - J1 O" c: i, m5 Z
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 _$ R9 l; H1 s9 `' {, @9 o
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
7 s9 S, M  t% i5 oundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". , N+ s# ?; J# ^. z% r4 h) R4 N9 @8 v
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
7 R, Y" q- Q& \4 |) G/ K9 Imoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 4 G1 F  P+ n5 M$ p$ N5 \
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 2 H8 o9 ]* ~7 T, k( f/ ^
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
7 c/ u3 L9 P, u2 [( yher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was ) C0 {* B5 @# I7 |  m4 ^
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman & r; B' ^' V; i4 N. v! `
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 6 F" W; {& O4 {; s2 ^( w
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 0 A5 H2 H, `, Z/ N
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. ' S4 C. Q1 P$ `" U& X

" Q. \( |( l+ Z1 ]2 ?Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
+ [. J9 o8 X0 G* zNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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9 h1 r) y; `1 C" v' j% A8 DThe second man married a telephone operator. . V% X: x) h8 C/ k, }+ f
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. , ~% t: f# o" S) ], I" F% _
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
/ K$ y: K9 p! @8 y- T' Obutton...A-bomb.?: c- h; `' f; H& D: K) f
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The third man married a school teacher. ) m  ?' u! Y; ?( m7 V

. F0 N2 U' I% u2 MDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
- o# J% J7 ?# l+ [' W! Abut teachers are just too frigid".5 F- a; m8 y( Q
" \% l8 k7 {0 p; [( R3 \
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
" ~3 F1 n# h" g+ R2 U& ~only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 6 \3 K5 t# g7 J* r- c- r" M
would call much later in the day.
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# x; }8 y' B) b$ `+ DAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
9 R& P0 @, L+ u" m0 ^6 `1 inurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's + s. h: G9 O' L7 X! K
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. $ |, c0 B9 {/ b" x
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 9 y7 _9 e* Y; E2 C$ _$ L2 V
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
, V1 q! e" h, H' k6 h- g5 g6 P# f+ h) J# A3 a2 V( e. L2 }. |
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
3 K- d5 b6 K7 Z" S+ r; N% Gas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
8 g" x+ N4 h# x0 a1 b; D+ `( t* [) kin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.5 b/ o) |* A4 z0 M0 _
6 e9 J; ?8 O* C. |. h" l- j4 [
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as " P9 U  r) `- ~6 L" }- S
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I % n: B7 A2 j* k- p) D
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your , c" L/ |& b5 L8 P
three minutes are up." $ t1 Q+ V% F1 Y2 u2 F
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
0 ?0 @9 O- N7 {+ G$ Dcalling any minute.
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* o* D; t6 G$ [Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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, u# D: a6 _9 W( o1 mDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
) G3 V: k" [# r" w0 fman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only ' z/ W% G# m8 S" j. K; G0 O" P: p
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
% |% f& U# R! d, F( m% Dlegs.( r! R5 D) F8 \! _+ X5 U6 V
1 E; d; B* F; t) {
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
% ?+ u  L5 T9 z: nfight?" 1 s+ }* t6 r0 N& o8 H- c3 v

( h  L' m/ D# R, }, Y9 RThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
% [( L( n$ m/ R5 e; w# Ca school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We . L3 Q6 h: L# u5 p# v
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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