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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new # }& M& L* D1 `% c6 J
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
. s' o& q% D3 U! @* H3 c% uBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
- F- s& e) S0 C  w) |and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
. c/ A) ^! V. t. _9 F) [% Kflock, will you give me one?"
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. k6 j2 X' \- h& nThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
& l8 i% h  u# a3 ~: zpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
5 b4 m$ e" H( I
, g# U  O+ A; A9 c8 t4 MThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ' E. |# m" u7 H- W; q/ _; x3 [
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
! R2 |/ U  l4 R# g1 cGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
* Q8 l; s, ^8 q7 ~4 r3 w; s5 jand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
1 b2 R3 A- C# Y! EBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
1 [  |8 {2 Q7 [4 [6 y* Ba 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and " a) a  t. x( F2 u1 W6 R
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".- I  g+ P6 Z' v3 r, x

- @# e) d. H+ e5 Z7 ?" O" Z! w"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ( ]/ r: k! P7 v/ d, @

- Q- p# j; S+ k, L. IHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
- n8 T- J  e1 {  m6 Qcar.
8 x+ i7 ?1 a& t) B5 |) F
( }( H8 y1 J$ \( c* EThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business / i3 I6 `3 L; C# w& |: \4 _# P+ ^1 k
is, will you give me back my animal?"7 T/ A! r! t% N

. J' ]# d/ R0 Y1 f1 m7 }"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 3 O$ e' l5 p/ l# m9 I

: Z- j  V; \/ A) J  K5 v"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"6 F, @) ~' O8 I$ A" g2 A

$ Z) R. z% R' V. w8 }"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
( b7 {  [! F. I1 anobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a % N# q  d) X4 B* m7 X0 ?
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 m3 J' Z* r# k5 I2 g, o% k
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
) n! \. c  L3 W4 Aundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 8 m. v4 u  `8 T& i4 m
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
  k* _) q4 W. S( r& Omoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 9 r- [' o1 \5 [4 J4 H
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
7 X3 |: q1 m+ X9 t0 w# r0 Pinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
9 W$ q  D8 S. s) @! e9 Wher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 4 P2 ?: [9 x7 _# S
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman . Y# C+ }9 H1 z! z# H
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 0 `3 Z4 C: i3 _( z
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
/ F7 p# I! v8 H2 z& c2 `4 jwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. ; b5 F) d& ~2 r! ~3 |, k7 m  q
5 V* }4 W1 f! M6 _5 R% f
The first man married a nurse. 3 U5 V3 u& b+ ~: }0 p6 H( A
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
) m/ {5 v/ h1 P" ^; P  cNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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" U0 {. Y5 G: U. s/ o* l# nDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. % Q( @# x4 \. l4 J
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ! H8 K" `3 p/ M0 G7 {2 Q8 m) E
button...A-bomb.?  i) u& ~9 w- C' i- ], M9 Z

+ H0 ~5 T  Y+ T" D! F' M- GThe third man married a school teacher. ' }2 @  H" I# g# u' i  b* M

6 m, C+ U$ A& ]) ]Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty + }& v/ A6 K7 Q
but teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected : Z$ `: ^( p/ y8 @+ `8 D) g$ `
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
: y" w8 \% T. _3 U& b( V* h3 o3 i2 Owould call much later in the day.
$ b4 `* C9 y" y9 ^5 ^& c2 P$ g' R$ J* A7 _
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
+ f- f- b; H: ~2 R! q0 m$ cnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ! c, i% v8 C; g& Y. i0 F9 C5 q
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
; [/ b6 z( [0 z5 M3 @$ f9 q" C1 C% x  r3 ?
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.& V. e8 m+ T: \7 b0 \, C/ J
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night ) L+ G8 t5 G6 H. n/ k( @6 Q, [/ Q# Y2 w
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
# Z/ N* Z, H4 O" @4 |' l6 \( g# i3 q" x3 a" ^3 |
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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5 L/ ~2 b: n1 _: r: T' ]; BThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast & e0 Q& v8 C9 F% V0 ]* m' M* g
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 2 w/ o8 q3 N1 r5 r+ L  i1 m
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.7 i# V. j/ c2 S  @- C0 e/ @
7 V' u8 v7 h/ k
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as , [" h# ~3 E# G& ~9 y3 U/ S
their voices."
4 k2 e0 M0 J. k9 G
. n5 p: D0 B7 MThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I & p+ v2 \) k! Y
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ; A/ J) \* A" R, Z' v5 O# {* X, B
three minutes are up." 0 ~5 W1 n3 R8 _& N* o+ R4 N& a- ~
: T1 a+ H- \( Q; N
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be . P/ s1 w: I7 R  a% h
calling any minute.
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3 c4 W0 a6 R/ F" B0 P- w" y8 v# k3 ZFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The : ]4 w; _: S8 N2 F
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
/ ^6 R( H; O9 p! ^his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
! \% |2 {' }0 `1 I: t+ ^( g' n6 A8 Blegs.
  [# j* b! V: Y' b7 z
# u" q) ]4 i% kJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
, k( a- {1 o0 M* bfight?" ) w5 T8 U# m4 {( p
: G6 e; T% M3 V0 h8 p( Q0 {7 z% T
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
. r5 z6 X4 N8 R) J" [a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
4 y: O' K; ~% z  k) kare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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