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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
; p  v( I  G& W3 cBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 4 P, N; ^3 G$ E6 L. z. p; m
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window & y: v: a+ D/ M0 ?8 r2 p7 ^
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ) Z; L! }9 ~" `
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his # K0 J, H  G1 _" [: q" Z  K
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."" I! L4 y# F& H& N

4 F8 R5 y  Y) B4 M* B  YThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 9 H6 F6 l0 D; i% D# ~8 V3 [: J. d
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ) n  w! @  v! S/ N
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 9 y; U7 L' J3 H6 ^8 K7 b  r/ C
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
% V0 c) O3 i* n1 i3 HBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
4 ^  O( N% o2 [" W2 ]/ ca 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and % s4 W( @( M% R% v5 O4 i$ i; \
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".# ~" G) H5 f3 J2 }5 J) {+ O
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 5 R& R- m* M5 A- N6 d
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 9 j, p( q( B/ t
car.
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5 D' b0 H5 J# G' O# E, }Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
, i* X1 e( b: z' Ois, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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: s1 e- h" f5 |- R6 @, `  i"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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* Y1 P$ X7 q* K/ b- v( d"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
6 p& d7 S2 j+ X; D5 M, K8 m, L1 Q! y; q. B. J/ q. K9 R5 U! Z( Z% w
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
* U1 j0 i3 n) W0 E* K4 jnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ! I" |0 q* F4 v% N7 j5 s
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give $ m7 Z8 @4 ^) n
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is ) ?* z9 B2 m$ l1 f3 h- w' }
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". ' R4 t, i1 G, i" @
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 7 `) h9 R) c% [; F/ i. i
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
/ T/ H0 }9 e, [, f( u+ I; ?1 Uwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 2 p* v) M: A, h; z3 E
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
& w' u# a) `+ x, I' Sher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
7 v8 Z: S7 R& G3 B. K) R$ Topen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
' O0 [) A; ~" P* t$ p. ~+ m/ Nresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
0 d6 ?& g$ M2 [9 x' j$ [: ^4 ?bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
9 {! z0 ?8 [3 p& swhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.   i  P" A  W1 t  j

$ O' b. |) O- C  ?4 W) C. \5 CThe first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 0 G$ U( Q: p( W$ D# x5 N
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator. # T- s- D7 n$ q

4 C7 g1 g: C6 `+ G, ~! n% i0 IDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
8 J/ g: c  m3 TTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
! u: w& f. M2 K; hbutton...A-bomb.?
9 A; V' g1 ^" Q8 y4 M
- s! z0 Y3 T0 iThe third man married a school teacher.
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3 G$ ]% k" w1 t' iDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 7 p: d# ?0 _$ n- Y+ @
but teachers are just too frigid".
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$ q; ~9 E4 ?1 `- ~3 ?The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 8 A% f4 F( p, H8 N% d2 B  u
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 9 z% z3 J1 J) A3 U
would call much later in the day.1 e6 @; g* |# |( ?; w$ F

' E' Q2 B: l* X2 P5 J0 }* jAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
' i4 ]4 O; F- @0 a+ v) Anurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's & V% T6 s( M) B# w% a# B
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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* Y" a4 a) Y+ U) pDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
" v% Q4 n! \& Zwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.+ O6 l/ E. V5 J

% A9 |, e  r$ g! [8 O1 N. VThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
* }  Q- h& b9 Q4 z% p) M8 e4 P2 Q* Las possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back , M6 A. k: W# p; Q% T& W8 X
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.; J: p8 I% t5 z. O! x; S/ k

  t5 d% n0 b) zDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ) O6 K. z/ n! u
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I % l, m  W- @7 _9 [
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
8 q# [3 C) s; \8 ?+ L3 w, ythree minutes are up." 2 j; q$ `( e1 D7 y: ]! v, |! ~

, j1 b3 b( d, k6 F) FDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
1 `" U1 y, y: U+ {calling any minute.7 B1 A3 I+ ]4 o0 D6 y( h/ I# ?
& ]8 c9 C4 i# X* M" [1 ]: t
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.+ e& k. ^  O1 s2 j* u

6 E& j  u1 M, ?! l" b1 YDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
" x! n6 I; ~0 O6 ]4 q% Hman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
- ]  w. ?$ P5 N* t  y& ~& m/ Phis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and - ~8 d. u$ f; P) W: [* A
legs.3 q: }. o  k0 w1 V9 v' |

4 K( h' c9 W- U+ J5 r7 aJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
1 ~3 l. e* s1 L6 ]" t, ~* B2 {fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ) q: C. m; R- l. y' F/ d! Y
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We : w, k: F  D) V" L6 g  Y
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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