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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 4 h* L8 t, A2 |# D5 ~
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a " i8 ?9 K7 _- O. [. R( b& O' B
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ' A7 N. a; \# n4 M
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 3 R- y3 c( a- z2 N3 f* l/ D$ W$ n
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
5 Y9 z: X$ ~& |4 S4 speacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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6 R: K% }+ X3 B8 w$ N% Z$ HThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
% o* Y) l3 _, L: Acell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a * Q, g  J1 F4 W$ n, o+ u- W
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database : v% V8 _/ G9 ~+ ]5 I
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 1 j1 E3 q# K: ~$ A9 x! }* g
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
1 t3 A3 y4 T- d; D3 Q; _a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and ! \) B4 s5 ?: l' X3 j
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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" i; i" f  w" D( s# A: T, D"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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" R' c/ a- _- p+ e$ EHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his % ?3 B# m1 E0 b9 U
car.5 }$ L8 ?4 H8 D! _, C+ p

. Y! o* B7 g. T. ]' _) g4 ^Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
2 I8 ]+ _5 T' d7 T8 X" ^is, will you give me back my animal?"; R6 M1 v8 y0 |
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.) Z0 k3 |) _* z
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. & b" C7 u  M9 l, B' |
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
2 J% V2 p; h9 gnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ; t$ U* ^" r2 O) ?7 I3 ]3 _
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give # x/ s+ [$ E2 |2 e& q. h+ |
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
1 d) C- J# X8 t0 F! A8 Z, G, _undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
  C) O$ l/ n* z3 iNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few ' ?% k2 K$ C3 _5 a, O  }# I
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper & t2 u4 h6 _6 w3 N5 e- z  J
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
$ c- p* \) @8 W- m/ N5 q; M1 Ointo the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ! v7 |) y5 ]$ D5 K: i+ M8 I
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 9 a6 Y/ ]) u. A6 z
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 9 k' W3 o! ?: A8 |* b6 c2 B; n
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle + s  A- [/ g7 k! C7 |" h
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, : h/ R, k% L' G. ^9 `; c
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. . X" F8 u1 W8 Q1 z
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The first man married a nurse. ! c; K8 }3 ^7 g0 L

8 D, e* @# }; Q3 `Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 1 E! y/ Z+ d- z2 Q/ }8 v" i
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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- ~( m! d8 G# u5 E* z" M) xThe second man married a telephone operator. 8 d. C8 e6 N/ q$ U% I  o7 R# J2 b
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
1 p8 U, b; m2 ~, \Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
1 L7 v1 z- D1 c5 J; v  r1 Vbutton...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. 1 k1 O$ p+ c8 U, H
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
" M9 |1 r" `% l% T$ A: q1 a# Sbut teachers are just too frigid".8 C. m9 v, P+ p- C) A

5 i. Q4 r5 I. c. o) S! `+ pThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 0 L7 k, @: z' ^% x0 [! L
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
, H. Z# y5 I" K1 qwould call much later in the day.
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) p, _, [  N% j/ yAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 8 a/ ?  Z1 _  _5 `" [% A' |
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 7 w- r1 O* i  c+ a7 E. P
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. % p4 V$ A8 \: e, m4 F) ^, ?
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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. S. _0 H" V2 H+ @4 J- `* r( C1 BThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
& m% h, I9 {  v& Awas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."% l+ p/ @, Y: D% e" A! Z
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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  ~( R1 B, B) R4 J. N. [1 W: HThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
5 E5 @, C3 X+ q: L3 L5 _as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
! Z/ g2 p. o$ E! uin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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+ ]. I3 r+ ^  e; s: a4 g; |Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 1 k  o; q" e1 N. d% v1 ^
their voices."
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. M. s4 r1 X7 M: R1 f0 [The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
6 ]1 R+ e* l4 ~heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
0 T7 i/ E, b2 ]three minutes are up." - \3 z3 ?7 z1 K; [0 S! ]2 h: A
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be % f* O, u. a" B: K1 Y% V
calling any minute.
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# O; e  w! \/ b6 f" `- XFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.4 A2 d/ ?8 ~/ h; {+ N0 C

! j0 Y# f6 ?5 u+ tDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
! B# e$ ^- v( J' y  Q2 R+ ]man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
" b. ]9 C: r8 j9 C/ S' zhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and - p5 G$ Z  h5 V+ ~0 j# G
legs.
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5 |8 x6 i) B# }0 N/ Q9 D$ M) B: n$ W$ qJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 1 W2 n& x, f0 a5 h2 _, P% R- v) S
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
# F8 o7 _$ Q6 A) s  \% ?a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We # B# |8 d4 B: Y! B! X0 {
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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