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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
1 F" ?% c- m4 x" R4 QBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
. F! I% C+ S7 u, r$ A: \  ]Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
8 z' y/ f; A* u" A" Tand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
1 x5 v6 ?" ~( ]" V* }/ }flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his * C0 \1 q) R1 E( e
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."1 T/ \, I+ G! W4 j. l) e; ?  R
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 8 O7 [) x3 _6 j7 I9 J2 C; A" F
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 3 }4 I# X+ ]+ {
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database * k1 g& j# O2 |8 w- n4 o
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
' B( h) Z' U: SBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
+ _4 A! a- \' i1 H& Ba 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and / p) f! T! w& n. x# u0 D- ]- f
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 9 u+ ?. H. f, B2 c
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
: T/ a: J+ }7 e7 A* c% {. q0 |" ^car.
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$ p. [& G: g; k3 TThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business # J' F! s2 K( r8 N" R# }
is, will you give me back my animal?"0 p$ j9 {  G( ^: m9 u

( M- f0 H5 x2 W2 @4 Q8 J"OK, why not" answered the young man.* o" ^; ?# o1 O
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. + F8 i8 a7 U: V7 s: b

, @+ X6 o6 }4 l- H5 z6 L' T3 m  w0 f"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"6 L- W- L; I2 O. j1 }
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
! b1 b& `' F: e) F2 G! @nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
9 ^1 w* u9 j- U! b$ }' ]# dquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
! U# v& s/ a" f6 k7 rme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
% Z7 s9 @9 |  Y9 v) A$ jundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". $ h* b: b8 y! U2 L# s) Q6 n
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
* ~+ m8 z/ K: @/ _moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper ( l. i3 n6 m1 x. K# u
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran * ]5 r1 s( m5 P( @: }+ N& p  t5 K
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
2 v- e" V4 e8 ]& t6 Q$ s+ eher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was / X" R2 Z. J0 A* _+ h
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
" Z% m7 ^6 M8 I" h: eresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle   r" M: F3 p1 d5 @) z% J
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 5 K7 `4 z  ?3 o( _
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. 3 l% [* g, g) q- y- t& f! Q

4 m; V9 l8 N% L3 J3 D( o; c0 KDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 8 ?& J: ~; E) d) R2 M
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".0 ^8 D- ?8 W! {9 ?  V: W# _' i) v
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
3 k' L* B3 i, d5 I9 i/ `Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top " o1 @7 `% Q+ U" y
button...A-bomb.?
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! {* \! q% c* }3 M8 TThe third man married a school teacher.
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: H  T0 J) s, T4 D. QDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
. c) h- ^/ d8 Y8 mbut teachers are just too frigid".
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  L6 K, Y2 }' Y% l2 y% p% jThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 4 M$ a; x& V, f: d( _" |
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
2 j. f/ l& i% ~) E' P. \* h7 `would call much later in the day.% Z$ _' j1 x$ r+ R! J

3 h% P, i0 O! R9 I" H5 k% `At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The   l, o* A. Z( T9 F7 G' t7 w
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's $ I# t$ d+ T/ s$ q
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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* _0 ~' c: @, g4 q: w, i+ JDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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2 k) Z9 U  |# y) Q% {9 }5 q+ }: QThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
& w9 n5 Q3 p6 b2 `$ ^& n: P& nwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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6 O" B* G( r8 S5 l# EAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.. B) \* F& v( M% Q6 s
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
: i6 y; D' k$ g) B6 Ias possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back " l/ h2 f1 o8 h# {7 s+ V4 H
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.8 T$ v3 V0 Y, F2 N( ^" e: a2 ~

& l6 E8 u3 z# {Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
7 q& K3 D) |% _: ~' Wtheir voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
9 V" o& @/ d6 K" m  U( Eheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your + }+ |! G8 v2 ]! @) q2 m
three minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be , n; t. Z& Q8 q& {
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
" G( G& m9 s2 I4 ~, O; C7 U' V: Gman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 4 Z  V3 F2 g0 ]" M
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
( g2 O# E' n/ {' D) k1 k9 Mlegs.) q5 f2 e/ M, J7 I8 v6 P7 r

( D0 G7 p, D7 n2 bJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a % C8 l" z, v& P* ^, m7 b
fight?" 3 k, D9 _4 V0 n+ C$ q0 w. U

  y0 d2 d; p- }( c# HThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 2 A; a0 l0 A$ U9 z+ C+ Y, Z" o
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
" J3 X& Z6 _$ R+ L1 ?& G8 V9 R' care going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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