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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
8 _  x+ V6 L/ C/ K# G% dBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 4 N: X, x9 Y% p+ m  p
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 7 j8 X8 m: Z* F3 U* L, E
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
7 j  a, g0 @) K+ ?3 Qflock, will you give me one?"
  V6 Q% l! j, U- _! Y- o
1 K: b+ i$ l6 C1 O  m8 p0 D- sThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
9 i+ t0 b8 \7 k+ Wpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."0 [: J: H# L& O$ x# l) g
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
7 l9 q- U% ?, D1 ucell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 8 g' g7 A9 ^" {8 C/ a8 q; T
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ' \: \4 h+ B  C/ o, }6 [
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 7 j  {  T  S# K+ j+ y. J* V
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 0 o, _6 G; E9 e9 x1 `+ _
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
$ W. L4 r/ Y% w- V* }: O7 {! Esays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"." n5 |- M# w0 L$ R+ v1 t# b8 @
7 R; t- [' p; o. F+ b8 o( \
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. / ]4 ^0 a! j. u" q, J1 y4 N

7 E; _: A' S' Z) U$ `, e- DHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 4 B1 y% T! s0 R! J6 e
car.7 i9 k$ z0 @: q6 r) b

2 D! q/ o3 ?# j8 t6 S# ^6 @Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
5 A5 o/ w' p- i: O6 U$ \& Bis, will you give me back my animal?"/ U) L. v9 ]/ L
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.4 @, V/ J  {$ x# p
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. + B4 [+ _) t0 q9 G: P! m! p, Z, a. z+ S
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
5 @! j  B% @' {9 ^! M
( o- I$ |/ Q" u; C# j! w: ]"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
6 i, l9 V6 \5 h0 S5 Bnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
! V4 K- b/ S6 O  j9 M6 yquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
3 \+ T* _/ \+ v9 Q. fme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
* G7 V& u2 S6 X3 rundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
+ n# P% B3 @( @; T% O3 fNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 3 A  B6 X# a! u/ c( @
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
2 y4 @9 M" G+ j% ?& t$ V* v7 ~was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
/ h  ^; x  T# a, C0 z5 R' e0 ointo the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
0 k& Y- r8 s5 h2 y+ Jher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
/ \. D; F8 K4 I8 }& n! yopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
% q9 L- c7 b! G" z  _. \8 w  cresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle   \- y! a' w8 M" Q7 R0 k
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
. C5 k- M5 ^4 s( twhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. . |" I$ F1 `' \

5 s* G% a9 U" \6 Z* \The first man married a nurse.
1 t$ S- }8 e; m4 _2 q, a0 E: O6 d; D: N7 S8 h/ ~. `
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. $ p: w9 {+ n0 E' X6 V3 J0 h5 \- X
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".* J: G- \& _( W: J

! @8 r* ~3 K0 \  W: A3 ~The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ; t2 {% C3 \+ N' `2 k+ A4 Q
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top , Z8 h6 J( z. n7 Y* F+ D
button...A-bomb.?) O' g4 A) N4 q9 y* m
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The third man married a school teacher.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty   ]- B2 {$ J8 R- {* e9 o
but teachers are just too frigid".* e# a0 J5 z. r8 o' @

& t3 ]3 a1 k4 ?- sThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 3 ~* q2 R: E$ g# E* Y& e& a; _- ^
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two ) Z7 q8 O2 X+ }5 A- @. }
would call much later in the day.5 H0 n4 ~/ i2 j4 m1 g' v  _

; P+ J& ^1 x* E2 A% lAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ) x: e) m+ E; q' @. @
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's   n! [/ h2 ~( f
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
$ B) N* r1 p- C- g0 W2 o9 U
$ d6 n# o! r2 D7 P2 ~' t. ]Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse." o7 b- |  ?" a& I- k

" ?5 R) k0 X* H, H/ V2 q- e" GThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night " D: [% i3 D1 M$ C7 X7 M; g
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.) t  x+ m4 ^9 k+ Y2 M
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast $ A4 ]- u/ @* `' S
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
! G0 M1 g  F; b4 u5 C8 Uin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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& H  e& U4 `  t) H* F8 JDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as   S* }6 |1 Z* ^
their voices." / h# s. A" G9 A+ }1 |! U
1 R; x' d! ]  I* B8 W2 C% Z8 P+ M
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 2 T2 F5 P3 X  s4 a, w% i
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 5 ?# f4 L! R) E! Q1 f- j9 `" J
three minutes are up." , T& u! E3 k( T, w  f
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 5 Y/ p/ r6 l. j7 @! A1 n( G
calling any minute./ S7 ]" b% A" r! B9 p* w
6 N! @5 O' q0 ^5 ~
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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; _4 g0 X* m1 m" ~  \! b, `Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The + F9 Y/ b3 o( W. w
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
3 n6 w. J1 x& u7 T; G5 ]+ ghis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 1 g9 g( D/ V2 Y4 d
legs.6 _/ W; u+ t* U/ W* d

  o, M- o' P9 ~# F% OJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
# Q4 O3 {- b& b$ ^. B8 b+ V# d& E) y% \fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 1 o+ h: N6 n1 k, d3 l
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We . L6 \. _2 c# I1 u1 k- Y& p
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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