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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new & @# B  B* S- G4 ^5 k
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a , a  D+ P! M. O8 {  ]/ a) W6 O% k
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
5 m$ @' }% F8 [( Fand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 8 W; s6 u! f- I8 n
flock, will you give me one?": _  U# N4 q4 L1 L0 ]
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
+ W9 y7 |2 H/ m0 x* S6 z/ [3 q( @peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
) l3 A5 f5 v. I
/ c1 p, n7 _+ D% O2 m. q/ lThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
, C! c; v6 }6 z5 w" i: p7 Gcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
. L  h( [; B5 D( P/ F! xGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database - w8 |: \4 g' ?  @3 C
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his " _" u3 S/ l$ H
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out $ R4 b5 {  w  r% C: V" d2 l0 d- c
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
. @" k7 H4 O  P8 H- ~says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"., |, M8 X# \7 ^; N
8 ^2 Q$ D6 F- H
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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/ `$ b& ]# U0 D3 Q6 [' XHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his ' I$ t# B$ w8 f6 X  M6 s
car.; B* S8 |. u- \4 F
+ E- x1 v. S( t% ^' h% `8 p  |
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
0 _( R! m4 z9 X' n0 H+ D6 D1 g" xis, will you give me back my animal?"8 `& U$ _/ g9 b3 F

3 Z" @# u# H5 V1 H8 m& X+ k0 P"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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2 ^$ T+ _* v) z* L"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
. A& Q  Z* u% n: b
4 C/ U7 e* R) B# i; s+ `; w"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
; m$ A  W, o' E( o% o4 qnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 8 b5 k/ K& [/ S( L* ]6 J$ ~
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
  s. S0 V6 m! w9 X' S) Ame back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
  Q+ g: o- }5 U1 ^undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
2 o3 z9 d1 a: [6 K4 f, P% _- g# QNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
1 j7 N  V; o& Rmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 4 Z  ]* V. `# e$ u" M. y
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
% ?2 U& [0 T! Rinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 5 Z/ E( W0 W# R( T9 D# W# Y6 g
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 2 A4 `1 L" r( j6 M# M) Q1 c
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
4 K' y5 D9 u$ T- Gresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
5 f+ ^3 l7 |+ B! mbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, & K7 t; ]6 {! j, V; {
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. " s& K( `1 n2 ^8 ~+ [  _$ {) w( J

" `: I' k9 r5 q; ~0 w5 m& p# aDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
0 Q. Y7 Q* s  H5 zNurses are known to be hot to trot".
% T; V" [2 }: {7 m
# v! ], q) c  R$ w7 [9 EThe second man married a telephone operator. " B: a- r4 G+ L
. A9 Q% r8 X1 E$ K' m; L
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. 4 P% x; w& @3 v8 K1 }
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
% U% W9 b- w. ^button...A-bomb.?" h. X; H9 @- s) G
. r' Z" M8 e; R- B% @7 H
The third man married a school teacher. $ T, Z6 R- f9 `+ I, T0 K

% s. U/ `7 ?; e' F/ B- yDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 2 C% L0 [# g% U
but teachers are just too frigid".. `# C; m$ P$ [

+ q6 U4 k2 V4 l; aThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected , w+ ~# k  m- e+ w3 E& @" ^
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
6 c4 K1 ~( l) V; Xwould call much later in the day.
0 T# S  l8 e2 E5 n, l2 i6 Q* z% `% }5 }% h& U& J3 I
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
' J3 x& Z. O& o) l' A6 d; U: ?nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
4 m6 y: X; T* ~- c6 M# T, Wpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 6 r/ d) z* N1 s6 A6 K2 g2 @
& j" s. I$ p4 g! U1 V+ M6 |' p; Z: A
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
8 B! \5 E$ X) j4 n
  }  A' @1 G* N& v( Q( V/ X# P; aThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
7 v- x" A# C' h) b! Lwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
/ P3 v; ?! \' m0 n4 ?, f: V
6 a' e) H) B3 M6 `7 r9 ]+ tAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
3 r5 x* n2 F) D$ Z1 ?1 \
7 m) @" l# Y( }8 Y6 yThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
, g, X1 x9 |! Uas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
7 i3 G/ _9 I' T, z, T% s" o3 D# O: Min shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.9 y9 U9 H7 t7 n& }5 b6 A! p( ~+ [

" N* c3 u! k; t+ Y' s- ~Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
$ p( m- c, K  atheir voices." 7 P" s5 f+ B+ \$ A- U5 u( l* d# S
6 x1 O9 {0 K5 x" h
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
; I8 z1 W( o" L7 u; W; rheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 7 p  z& |! w1 M* b% D' X; R3 o; O
three minutes are up."
7 R' P& A  V# h& Z2 G) ^! R$ U) H
6 a/ @5 h) W( C6 T! m  Z- sDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
  z5 N7 J" c7 h& `/ D0 P- s6 F: Ycalling any minute.
  w' `: R! Q+ ^
- e8 c7 e6 ]* u- _/ x' lFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.+ Z" A2 m6 n4 E/ B) I8 d
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The & p% W8 t. b7 D7 |3 B. Y
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 3 x& U+ g$ Q2 ^7 m( W
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 7 m! ]2 m& Y( F2 U3 A
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a ' j3 A9 P4 n' m2 {. K# a
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
6 a9 B! i, Q  H3 na school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
  M* t9 t6 ]* a0 ^are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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