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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
7 Z4 P/ w0 ?/ N0 KBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
7 Y' @- ~$ n% D7 }5 SBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 1 I, b3 p2 N7 J6 z( L' P
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
5 |8 {7 \3 u) ~/ G' V0 x+ sflock, will you give me one?"
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; o% B( X: b/ g$ V% |7 [& QThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
+ r% z+ @" W2 b% F7 a3 ~9 `6 r  K. cpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."1 A) U8 e) q# o/ @

5 }2 _! a, w% J8 A* L1 b9 fThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 7 r0 n5 x2 D9 X/ z" V! Z6 {
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a & s/ r0 b! W. I' z
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database & P# [* J2 t0 I' w9 g8 d
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
4 C( C1 k; Q8 U' B8 l( _Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out " U; G8 L7 z) Y/ x2 Y0 b. u6 s
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
2 H4 p7 m9 R2 n6 k0 Vsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".+ q# f  @( I' l

2 Z; U, A0 ?4 g# k! T"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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  V: n) _0 I6 Y; c  M4 pHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his ) P/ G* i: R1 J7 C4 Y: C. a& t3 N
car.
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' l2 a. e4 x  _, HThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
& j; v! M! M1 b; |! t: T# qis, will you give me back my animal?"' s6 s4 n+ [5 O

" Y0 q8 k$ N# J) O7 B8 Y"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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- S- h4 S5 \4 n/ V0 {"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"( }- Q" ?" C+ I% l. b  ~1 L

+ j9 N* v8 z8 c: W"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 7 h1 \" y' r* g4 h* Y
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
( J4 H1 S( Q) P6 Y% x! C, ~- oquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give , m5 G" H7 E# E9 r' A
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is . _0 h; n4 p, n) }- r
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". . G; _. T8 s; T7 c8 A' Y( s
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 6 g" i8 Y! E! \0 \
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
$ ?" R: h4 a- o/ o! Mwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 1 b) Z) P7 l1 P
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
* V4 }3 P$ B+ Q4 x/ z, ]. bher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was - Y5 g% H3 w! e  o8 h
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 2 R  @+ j$ I# E* D. U( O
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
) w* ^- |% Z4 v4 j( nbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, % }" ^: C/ j' z3 S2 X$ k6 W3 E
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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$ C) D" C! t0 i3 @The first man married a nurse. 9 u+ w! h! E, p0 `* a
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
8 t4 p7 }& [; e( }- eNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. $ E' }5 A+ r* q4 a2 f; A, a8 i& J
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top * e, P: e; ~* D' Y. ^9 Y- I
button...A-bomb.?' W( ~5 E2 P7 d6 \! m

$ F8 U7 \& _7 |, I$ {1 v1 ZThe third man married a school teacher.
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" e2 R) a: A, o( o) n6 H# g- v! NDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 6 ?) |4 C: U+ e% y4 K
but teachers are just too frigid".0 @  J4 @0 {0 X. b
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
, `& l3 o+ \) V9 M/ r) [only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two : I/ v* S: r) q! N8 i
would call much later in the day.: A% u4 [4 V+ ~. O& f- a

1 b* ]4 j  D0 j  P$ wAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
: o! d& G- N, Lnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's ) \* q. x7 ]: H8 A6 h7 z
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 2 ?8 W2 }' L! A- ?1 X

  x' j0 Y$ R5 r: q5 Q, ~Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.9 S( }1 c3 |+ C0 ~

' e; W- m" a# g: {8 mThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 3 L7 [' Z( R! E
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."8 @6 d& ~; B% N  @
9 ^+ A4 n) @( B& K9 y( U
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.+ b0 ?+ e" C1 s1 @+ }3 L

0 l5 l7 {, j0 _9 i9 Y3 kThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 4 H# a( P# E5 g% @, d  J8 H: u6 t5 O& ~
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back / C1 B! z" L# Z- z7 ?
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.+ c3 R6 C' ?, @
2 s+ v' K8 d0 I: P- b# M' }; l
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as   p! q( }  n5 q) U
their voices."
0 j& B$ Y9 u; d% P1 Y: u( H
. u0 \" j7 W+ r6 R4 U; \/ |+ s1 d# MThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ) I+ ^; Y  Q* s
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
9 U! M$ p9 w+ w, Bthree minutes are up." , E( I1 l: ~3 H1 \" i

9 ^  e& P2 W; wDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
) i3 A' S9 [7 [7 N8 x5 x( jcalling any minute., p6 g  X. Y# n7 b  m
( J- |% ~& b3 r1 T
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 3 r; S% f$ U$ V, I
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
: n+ B4 J) M4 `- m1 N7 ]his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and # L5 j$ }8 M2 `* H+ @
legs.7 h, D, V; e4 Y3 j

7 i2 m- X: f: \7 _( N0 c6 v4 \Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
# U) p) U; Z6 ^6 c- T" d! ifight?"
" H/ F/ P# A4 ^7 |4 ?4 O" |5 ~7 Z9 G# D0 I, k5 ^9 s8 R0 J5 ]
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ( V3 s, v" [1 T) N
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
5 q( G$ {. |( L% x' [, I# D- x, ?$ p" sare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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