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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
7 U2 h1 b2 D( l9 A- c& G$ E- n9 |6 }BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
4 x) B. |+ Z' G7 w; Q; }) E, E  ZBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window : H5 u6 B6 R' T, g; B
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
! D- k6 u; A0 q7 J1 h  W  {+ ^9 ~flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his 6 W$ C7 H3 B4 @
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."- {0 q. d) L" W4 S" e( @

' e/ [& V7 M+ p9 E9 J) F& AThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
* e* J- E! J) ^: v* Pcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ( K; R/ t" Q2 j( W
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
; H& `6 `6 x: g% ]& d5 R5 D4 Y& W0 Qand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
/ T0 J+ t9 G. O# }( g: O4 Z  S4 [Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 6 v0 V- f. _% x$ K& Y' g8 Y% X
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
. d8 l0 e' z5 tsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"." e$ ^3 [* q! ^

0 N$ n3 m9 Q2 R/ _; w; h"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ( m( K; x# A) {1 ~" S0 M/ i8 b2 L! k
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his " c; z6 i$ Q$ e9 \3 _
car.! Z3 Q: V# ~6 b8 z3 Z8 Z
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
8 x; }: z# [0 M% I! B- ]7 jis, will you give me back my animal?"  ]% n- J7 C7 w3 u! j
- @5 ~$ ]! s; O. u$ G$ X6 ~/ }
"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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" h  t' b3 g: W0 P  Q+ t2 C"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. 6 Z' r7 H8 F. y/ W5 R1 H9 k
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although . D* ?% F8 X/ d; |# J
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
6 k6 |& b3 Q: hquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 u5 z4 ~7 a: w: e. {$ `# J* c4 o9 g1 _
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
- T# C/ h6 r/ c  Kundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". $ k! N9 P! H. l5 W( x8 c
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
9 ^# B: W- K3 H4 ~& }moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 9 V9 w( y/ `3 S6 a: u3 V
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
9 b" U3 M; M# c/ Binto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
  w% j8 g, T" j8 cher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
) e" Y' `* p) h0 L1 @9 ~open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
2 }! N2 F. z% d. ~/ y) \responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
* A0 u7 u  l& s+ _, s4 K! xbags"
大型搬家
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,   O# ?) F. _# ~  E5 J! r. q% w
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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$ b1 e( C  f  h1 D2 C2 f  wThe first man married a nurse. ; L) e/ E; K7 o  C  p* U, z& }

$ Q, L3 z: z% s4 _3 G" Q: @- y! @Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
. B8 L  I0 B  I; S7 B; V6 tNurses are known to be hot to trot".. M9 H  d5 ^' w; s$ r" |$ W
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The second man married a telephone operator. 7 p! V0 ~; ^) x6 A# {
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
0 n1 @7 {/ h+ |% G( nTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
" y( _! l6 o+ r) U9 Xbutton...A-bomb.?5 M) Q3 W9 J3 t9 y3 ^6 s2 C$ ^
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The third man married a school teacher. - f" m2 x6 h8 O. @# j" o+ n- u

0 I2 w" M8 L5 a% u& c( WDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
! i, M/ j1 t& j, e7 o1 P# mbut teachers are just too frigid".' n( N4 h+ ?$ K& }
% W! I/ j1 y- C2 a  w) o, }- j- a1 O) f
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
( r- v% J1 h  R% n: donly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
$ p5 T, a5 j7 ^/ F8 bwould call much later in the day.% {) ~( B# L6 W! `

( U( v2 u  F- B, F' KAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The # n4 p4 P, u0 u( E! w+ B
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's 6 Q& I) c/ {3 g+ ?  A
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night ; B3 {' {7 d2 R
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
+ E, j$ c: Z8 v. C
' N6 y$ A3 Z* Y- \At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.7 f0 o% I1 ^% Z8 f* |4 u6 C6 y
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast , m' w' S9 y3 i
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
( p8 j6 W9 t9 L5 ]in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
' E4 j$ Q: S( |6 O; S8 U& ]% ]3 j( o% J# F* V* L! L* P5 f- \; G
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
+ w6 ^6 C: B9 Qtheir voices." $ z1 e; k$ E1 y' D# l
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
* P$ P4 e: T; {1 v; B" |heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your / @5 A/ _" `# o, }& o; B" S' q9 r
three minutes are up." 9 {6 y+ y) H$ z$ j+ U; Q- l
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be $ \* u6 `) ]9 R4 _& A3 I
calling any minute.' y3 d* M2 U/ _/ ]
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.! v. q$ p. V. B

# v0 d3 P3 d$ B# k) N) Q' k( HDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ( L: @( L$ E  r6 z* [; S
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only % U9 t- D3 T" R( x" i' w+ |# n
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
' q0 {- n! E. \# x8 q! Nlegs.( t! \$ R( y6 a" \" t
+ N5 \! F6 @- y+ [6 y
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 4 a% n$ O5 O& l7 {
fight?" 8 U  X4 n$ M9 B* X' R
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry * R$ w+ h4 v( X) P+ C7 w4 v
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
2 k9 Y5 m/ S% |are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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