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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
+ g# ^! C2 P8 N( JBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
* W& Q1 p2 L) J: iBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
% O) }7 V6 Q" ]' ]and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ) c/ H2 j) S! D
flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his ' H  A6 Z* ^0 b+ O) c
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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  y6 ?& i- g" x+ Y# _/ |! g& b* EThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 0 Q6 u* P; |" v& F2 |+ T2 ^
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
5 ~( |, r4 T0 h4 ^  G/ H4 aGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 1 X5 f( `8 \6 C; j. J
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 1 H  B: n5 ~$ }
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 1 j; ]! a: \( ]# G' K
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
3 ^' m  t5 g. U1 a! |) B8 nsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".* M6 {0 ]0 ~  R, {( _

! k: M- |; t3 M$ j0 Y: z"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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& B( m7 O" E; n) s4 X: hHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
1 t) G. l* _7 k; B: X& M8 ^- Vcar.( `: A& T% B  b+ v

) J1 M: j& o. V1 ?) x, t$ XThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business ( e: U* h7 J& X* s- N
is, will you give me back my animal?", K% s0 D# o7 x3 y7 _- Y# |6 ^

2 {- W# T( ^) Y1 o6 n, s"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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3 U) ?" ?2 E+ A; x/ Y"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.   V- N/ q1 q0 w4 f; p1 @5 U
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?": }6 Q- o, T$ J$ \' ?8 u
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although & J7 [/ l& B/ h" Q. [
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 2 [& D2 G3 s6 G) V
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
" U+ l9 ?& ]* x$ R" B* t& R$ {me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
$ H/ G1 }/ C1 P8 I6 W7 r. Xundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
0 q" x( x1 j0 @Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
% X% p, b8 d) O: Vmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
) `% [7 H. D) w" N0 _was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran / f/ g* \2 J$ b9 d9 U: U) X
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
% Y9 |$ P/ K5 j# \her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was " E" E, M! i- V# a8 F/ Y
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 9 ]7 b! y0 E: @" t1 Z0 W
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 5 }, w: M( e0 D
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
2 ]( r% }" y# N/ K: X; {2 jwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 2 h9 I- _# Y! Z4 L( a( E

2 y: d% p5 c# g) X9 Q; R+ f* F. KThe first man married a nurse. , O6 j& @6 r5 O% `
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 4 {0 X+ N: E7 ^. N6 @. I
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".6 }3 r9 v& M( p" N# M2 |; V# M& W

" d  e% I, z8 ~! d. o: XThe second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
5 V  J. c6 \3 T9 m3 d6 bTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 6 ~0 j% R5 |" B6 k; V# [  F! v2 N
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher.
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- J& O- Z7 R: Y! w2 UDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty . L* d% h. A9 a* j) o0 e
but teachers are just too frigid".' A: t' h1 W4 `6 ^$ f- N& H
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
& M" G: \( N5 l! ^only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
# R8 t* m, q5 B1 D$ U: jwould call much later in the day.
, H  {( M- g  S1 Y  A& A: U# ^* @1 c6 |; ^) H. A/ U. t; Z
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The . r" D( W: g+ }8 L7 V! B& F
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
  n) o6 _# N4 b  s& Cpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.4 H4 w. x, C& f/ A' |- B

# v* o+ ~0 ~5 ^8 z+ c1 t+ ^The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 1 }) U, L$ a" `9 c7 [( L3 d
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."3 x% b3 t0 x$ [' r( o6 `; K* t
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.' ~8 A% V- s: V; h3 u; d

7 g0 K! \+ D; g) m$ v" s/ N0 [3 q) zThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast # W4 X! o7 E' j0 O9 [9 f, r% d& [
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back - t% }! y1 ?" @
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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: V* Z. z$ v# B  p/ PDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
: y6 u) L4 Q% u2 W$ u# ktheir voices." 7 {; S: c$ U% m: I" y
8 O) T6 I) f# n+ E
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I " Y9 h: H/ J! G' O
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 6 s7 e. v6 b( y6 p( o3 L6 v
three minutes are up."
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, _7 m% W6 h& j% V( ?( ^( SDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
# N. R; t4 J* z3 jcalling any minute.
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; N# j; F4 B4 }5 AFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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; ^0 G+ z+ U: |0 o& M# Z" F4 ~Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The / w& `0 S( F/ Y: q/ R' s0 |
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
: L: V1 }7 \' b/ H. Q: O3 s/ Y+ `his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and % k( f( Y9 l" M- ^
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
& e0 e) x9 O, r  z/ S  O% Nfight?" 4 a6 j$ `  f+ V% R) q
8 t6 p$ A/ {: O
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry ' \# b0 B, [4 O4 U  N5 g
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
3 l; `$ B9 I$ N2 Care going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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