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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
! f7 n* e* c. _: j/ m) KBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
" |( }$ ]  O( X8 I* V5 {  {& Y: CBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
9 c  ]- `" n) R& x) nand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your ( {, u* G& @3 K8 V3 k( c5 U5 A# P
flock, will you give me one?"+ y- Q+ ]" ~& N. r

: d0 E! s/ Q. \3 [( v% K' j& [The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
. n: L. d+ L* w% jpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."9 ~% j$ p, B( H) r+ K1 a# Z
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ) G4 z/ k2 a$ V! j$ `7 \; B) D
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
' F0 i! ]" R1 wGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
! L3 U+ M1 U6 _$ S$ r. Gand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his : u# \: e& V. C
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out + q( A2 w0 @) W; p$ i. o3 T
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
( ~- D# G/ C* y) M8 ?says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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! l! y4 W6 Z4 C8 R, i4 y' F"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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6 H2 v: x" ^/ |8 y2 v" a4 CHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his . C3 V  d/ g. g2 A8 w
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
0 c* p3 M: u" H6 his, will you give me back my animal?"# l9 @5 y  A1 C+ e+ O* `* Q. Y4 {

" h9 U1 o$ x  v* y& b5 Q2 A"OK, why not" answered the young man.7 h+ L7 H3 I7 |  z2 D. f1 q
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. / l/ m* q. U9 M' ?* \8 l9 @
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?", [5 H2 W) D: w
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although - w! z( R& W8 @( D
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
: Z; K) D. ~( Lquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give & C: J3 ]0 A# C/ a' c" |( w! t8 b
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 7 b* y; Q0 l; O6 R% N3 E
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 4 c' {% t# }  i* k
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
! f: T" ]) [! x7 lmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper - \# J* o( p3 \# M# F6 ?6 Q, G7 m% P
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
# L! x0 N  d; C3 z" r0 A& ointo the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 8 g& p# s' H6 {5 R/ L. u0 i8 G
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 1 |% c, y0 n0 @, J' H3 W! q- Z7 P1 C
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
% j7 q! j* o" x/ n4 fresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle   F" K5 j; O5 F# e" [* t# |
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,   m0 d5 M7 L$ C6 r) U
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. 3 ]" ~" X% B. h$ ?

% h. y; Y* V% iDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ) H0 r+ k6 q4 u
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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/ b. g. K% l0 P2 v$ ~9 eThe second man married a telephone operator. $ m7 _1 w- m( z* n" A# |

2 Z/ G# f3 N$ \; I$ ]" CDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
7 |, X6 I/ ]( y" v$ zTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top + r. s8 W9 Z! N
button...A-bomb.?2 w/ ]( Y+ H7 Q  h, {

/ W" n( I$ O5 `7 z* X& Z1 |The third man married a school teacher.
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) [$ p, F! V% u+ J2 l+ HDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
; @$ O: S2 I' N" Q% Wbut teachers are just too frigid".
$ |4 Q" o0 d$ ]4 A. o5 G6 H- h4 `: v, z# o0 ]1 V
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
& d$ s/ c* x+ ]$ k8 }% d& t) i2 Lonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 7 x+ l& k  y: b% q! T% R
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 0 e3 L* y( I9 f  i' z) V# h2 b
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
7 C; o( M7 n1 G$ r" [$ @0 [; \pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 0 h1 l# P. U4 ^3 t

) _; ?  H( c! ]* ?/ RDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.5 ?8 z. ?/ w' |4 k$ `
3 \; S4 U, z) e2 w9 _
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
! }5 W* e/ V" O) L9 Rwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.; E5 [  m; T9 L- r
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast " U9 r6 ~0 R5 _
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back & p. `# ~8 i, g' i3 y0 g
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.6 y! [! A; g) k. F: |9 K: |% r

( t, p) {0 H5 v. D  g8 j- vDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
/ N6 ?0 u6 R5 ^. H$ G; Btheir voices." " f1 |$ A' C7 [) n. O' `
0 z3 h  x7 M4 v- Y5 _* ]
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
" Q) {, i4 J  |% d8 h" Bheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
: Y: l$ Y( w4 Fthree minutes are up."
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$ m" B) z1 t' ]  b. |Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
% W! ?) u3 {/ W( L$ M/ J! E' v) Ncalling any minute./ f) @: e7 e. a* }; l% Q  V

6 ]! b# ~* B  V5 wFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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" n$ [# u- L9 C9 P; nDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
2 j0 v- S' Q! _1 X1 [8 j; Lman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 8 ?7 ~3 N5 Q# x- J$ r
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and ! a/ U9 T$ C) A4 O# p" O  B
legs.# p' M+ H% k+ O- S& G7 f, L) _
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a % o' e4 F0 K" t% b
fight?"
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/ O$ b5 Q3 ^- a- B7 S" jThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 3 N! `5 E% c0 ~* }! S
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
. R4 F1 c  L; C3 }- s+ Care going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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