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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new % D- G8 e. |0 y  A! y# D$ T) W3 Z3 g
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a - k* ~9 R; M% i- w$ }7 ?
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
. a% F4 |: S$ G. [: \. [and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your * Y! F5 t- I+ z) t$ R- |
flock, will you give me one?"2 K3 z4 V! |  Z* Q6 _

* @* `/ G' q* O( m' E0 D' G% rThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
  S5 b6 @( V* Ypeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."# W8 V% z, O) i' E" ]! O

2 w2 l" b1 q; n+ RThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
" B8 K4 J  X' [4 J/ ?9 ^( L6 {3 icell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
) G+ v" `# n6 I5 W4 LGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database . q( H2 Q& e- |5 D7 P2 w
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
" _* \. E# g: l/ M$ R: @Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out " T& Z4 N/ D" y  {( [' `
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
& d0 _3 D0 A' j/ c7 Q. osays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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1 f% T. ], F% H& K5 X3 v8 B"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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' o7 f. g3 y2 Q# k; |6 t6 i4 H$ `He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 4 T0 e( M9 S3 e+ O1 _
car.
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5 S" K. }8 Q. L& v1 e. Y5 O8 ZThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 9 `( C4 D/ u# _- V! m3 ^2 D$ e- k
is, will you give me back my animal?"0 ~4 F8 C: E6 @
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.! e& I" }2 e/ D! |1 g
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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2 N6 s2 T6 y, B8 h. e* L"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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5 v" |0 c% i; ]"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
, E& W2 D* t' Z8 y( m" A$ t% mnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a , U( V: n" C# P% d6 F( E' J6 y& d
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ! m5 y+ q6 [+ i4 R2 Y
me back my dog".
理袁律师事务所
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is 1 C2 M+ n( F/ r' q: V" r* I$ y
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
+ q5 g: |% B" G3 z4 N7 t3 E6 D$ bNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few - S. }$ I8 o, }* [) A
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper . g6 E. m  F" ]; P! u
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
: b9 t7 b7 C4 `into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 4 H/ I1 H, W. C) ?
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
% O2 b" H4 M  {open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
6 M% F3 X  d  i1 J- ~responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 7 A9 w' q, {4 m
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
# m0 N) A& L. Fwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. : r- N! G# O( }1 X% T
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
3 W& t! p$ L  O8 H& I1 SNurses are known to be hot to trot".1 X9 Z) m* [$ L, s$ V) \4 W! L

5 }, {5 a  }& j5 _! q# Q6 ~The second man married a telephone operator. 4 ~: K8 P+ g8 ^7 P2 x3 {

' D6 [" x6 Y8 J  P8 o" I( rDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ) D  z9 ]0 \  v; N  m
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top : x* j- L$ f8 ]1 l7 {; p8 ?6 D( f
button...A-bomb.?8 G# y' @( X* X
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The third man married a school teacher.
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- i' W% p. _" y4 ~Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
, O9 O9 g# H: s1 M: E+ h$ k9 Cbut teachers are just too frigid".
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 7 W! P) |. L$ k  B+ ^2 `/ g# _# {
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two - u1 d7 n8 x/ b% d% A$ R
would call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The / o0 C, N* W7 q0 D1 s
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
4 E* T. }! z8 X& o3 x0 ^  Fpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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1 \- ?- X0 F; \) y! PDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.! F! J% r  D1 S7 P2 _

( N' R" b/ H1 H; X0 u% ]The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night % v/ j2 |( \& }
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."6 \9 f$ G! x) k4 U( @$ u6 b5 T
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.  K3 M  R( |* I& b
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 3 a$ K, M: l8 h4 P' R
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
! R+ I' a2 c  q2 ein shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ! r: C' s+ f& l$ A& [. g( \
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I 1 L/ a' H3 F/ o6 s4 }3 J
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 7 }# \6 l/ C6 F* D! E% }
three minutes are up." $ o3 E  Q% U4 x( Y; _1 E
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
- j5 V, S' N! e3 O* \# s: u: Ecalling any minute.4 @3 h! `# o) P. A3 `% _

9 G0 L$ b2 Q1 W0 N& aFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.3 U) c& N5 x1 w& q8 Y
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
& |  B  r/ c% R) kman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 2 p" T6 l" R7 g5 n/ K5 }
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
5 s4 a1 b; ]! u* A# S; i2 Llegs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
( D& i' l' G! [2 L3 V/ Ofight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
' p, Q) T1 i7 s0 B! B9 F( Aa school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We / Q" P. K) ~+ s2 t: d
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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