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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 6 k% s; j+ V: m1 r0 V
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
* I( W- F3 [8 q) Y* cBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window ! ]1 d) n; \- x
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
7 h; t7 h" _. J2 G% N* Oflock, will you give me one?"
: B3 J. ^3 q# k
+ A" S9 \2 D' i9 ?; zThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
7 ^  Y+ x) z0 W  K/ _. wpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."1 w5 m/ H7 O, i
  ?6 u$ \' h: L+ ?( f' w
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
% {8 H0 O. h5 x! M; B# Wcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
) |4 e( G7 _/ a9 {GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
) K+ q8 ^0 b5 g: z* L1 Xand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
8 `: O! Z/ `5 S/ hBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
$ n4 f0 H8 [, z8 za 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 1 `9 h8 S; J' r& p) t9 m, G
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".3 g7 ~* o2 P( i! z3 p
5 P1 s9 \; M+ d' A) ^5 @& m
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. % w" x- I- I/ C/ L

/ y; J( [( W6 b  uHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
4 S2 N" `) V; I) O" |8 a, acar.% v8 N% V( X+ B

# a( m; ~/ |& |, S! O# `Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 7 _9 F6 i, V; x) o* y
is, will you give me back my animal?"  i$ H6 h8 J1 \! l- c" u- V

/ p2 @( J" ]* b4 F; _"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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. _- G& p) |# Z; ~  h"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"5 }7 U2 s! G8 ^' n' U# \+ Q. K5 e

& U8 z" N, e, \3 H1 @"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although : T2 J. q* U$ u. S' u1 M
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ( e- |, F$ t/ h4 F7 H
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give : X8 U0 t0 b& o" m/ X% T
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is % o( c' U; H) h& ^  s: @- J5 f2 U
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". % p9 n5 e/ v  y. V" Z4 g; e
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
) c! [6 ?/ E% f' P" W! bmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper / H  A8 O8 t$ L" _2 m( _
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ! F0 z! n1 r, y! A; V" ]8 @5 a
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
- u) d- z6 o( o7 Iher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
, |- |8 `2 x$ z- |  g/ l4 E1 uopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 g$ V* L: `& J1 T2 g
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
$ Y1 D# Z5 m2 p+ ~$ Z% b) Rbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
8 f7 c: o1 z1 Xwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. / g& v5 a- K. e4 k3 g1 q# u5 q( J+ n
. F; \9 v: L) y. {! z' J, }
The first man married a nurse. % C  ~4 m/ ]8 e7 {; l

7 O5 ~  {+ s" b. U4 j+ uDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 8 S! P& f) |4 J. D
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".8 A9 A( H( `6 U4 C

" n0 N5 q7 n: B2 t/ f) P! J; p# P0 EThe second man married a telephone operator. 6 {8 S" q( n4 j" }! T6 i5 R
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
" b, ~2 M1 U8 n0 R* o5 K  vTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top , t- B. M! \- z+ d, j1 G. f
button...A-bomb.?
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$ T# N6 G9 ~# m+ D" u, oThe third man married a school teacher.
! T: ~0 j% j9 x( d, d; z& H% l
: \  ~8 G2 U6 `( p9 oDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
; H1 {; ^. k  e( W( F5 X0 fbut teachers are just too frigid".
) o/ k9 g" p% Z
9 c/ j- q2 U% u* a) r" lThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
" L- K* b0 c, Z: H0 j1 g. ^only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
. p9 i8 A) ^8 n. j+ Fwould call much later in the day.
4 t8 x; @. z# S/ n6 N  n  g" b% e# F  d) ^1 J( _
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
  K$ t4 B* l+ }nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's   x' Z+ w2 A, O/ B
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. 7 v, {+ C3 u0 e. H

9 R% |7 ~$ k; `7 w/ @2 Q4 YDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.$ _$ |9 ~9 T/ i$ c( o
! T. R6 x& _9 D4 M. H0 Z& _
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night % f$ d- `" D2 j6 ?/ R) c
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.' @+ k7 o) D$ B" w0 H
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
: W' [) S; ^8 F5 Q. tas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
7 T6 @; z5 K/ D7 din shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.7 T6 u. _! x* U7 _

+ ~; ]+ s6 H, n2 w' G1 C4 y: QDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
& C& z$ _$ D/ O0 `their voices."
$ g( \1 p# x% W* I$ r+ ]% N7 S; T1 p% L5 s+ n5 |
The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
4 [/ O/ S" i- z$ E% Z, sheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your   H" S" t+ F: j
three minutes are up." ! O3 \6 Z4 _% Y
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
6 V# x5 v9 g4 I6 j" m$ gcalling any minute.
- w9 c! m: p7 A* O
2 Y1 D( C. {1 b/ G% Z: oFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.5 W' S, C) @. q2 i

% @. N2 X, Q+ _! [Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 1 Y7 C; z5 m: K: y1 q7 G4 \
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 2 C1 y8 l) O  x
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
1 U! S7 m0 k, Q- Vlegs.
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$ l7 ^0 {0 x* F, i5 r2 e" nJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
+ i" q6 L0 _) y8 |/ l% wfight?"
8 S" z- a0 t" u3 H" H! p- N
. c0 p% j+ I/ t* J% p& M1 k. _* g; KThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
1 m# \# m" t6 M" d8 ha school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 4 [, _4 p# h5 ~/ Z! W  v7 c
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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