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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new * V  z( c) ]% [/ N1 [$ P  t7 {
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a # H) I- t# j2 C$ b% l9 ]9 N
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window $ x$ M) C$ {: I+ M: O
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your " g% G, u& f/ K$ F9 |9 p
flock, will you give me one?") }2 Z% h1 B# ?( C. ]/ p" l

8 o% N6 t. X; `, H% AThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
# _& U: l5 S" ppeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a / `; e9 l% D" D$ P
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
* w* u& n1 H2 [6 uGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
, w' S* P: h, d; cand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his , I+ ]( ]2 w/ h. [: M# x
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out - U* f! B/ W; ~0 z% H/ g
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and ( C! u) o$ V9 V  u$ K
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".5 m% D& o" t- a' G

# P0 U. |- A/ j, t"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. $ Q3 k9 n0 V" b$ K8 Z

! Q2 n$ x; G3 @: [! ~He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
- X; W- H- R- {# g7 Qcar.! |4 k# w- k4 R' p' d. s5 B

4 I+ h8 t, @+ B0 gThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 4 g# c& g1 R! h0 {2 J
is, will you give me back my animal?", L" P; G" B' ]+ q6 a+ |

+ x4 t  L# s; @) N% p5 m0 A' v"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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1 E7 y2 W. R+ V"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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  c' C1 H4 d: S: L% i; N" v+ i"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?") Q8 U4 m" X) `1 A: r5 c+ i2 {5 b
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
0 \/ Z1 _2 p* |# z% Z- W" hnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
% P. L# {8 m( l. L7 Q7 ^! Wquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
" H( `; E& N0 W7 H  Nme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
. b1 K6 Z& Y$ s7 E3 s6 tundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 7 }8 E' }0 j, k$ Z: c
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few / [1 C, x' x4 `7 {9 p- `) T
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
. A! f9 C' h4 J  }4 q* T& h2 K6 @was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
) v1 ~6 o& T5 N4 Q. W  q: S' vinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
' z7 M: p3 N0 r& Y5 ~  f8 W" Uher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
* G2 K# U, w2 k7 ?/ B( Aopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman . ^' q, d- |* f- G: S8 |/ `
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
2 R+ s# e3 ^) Z, zbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
, r4 \. S# Z& G  w0 Zwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. * D6 k, ?7 f4 L. d' Y  z
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The first man married a nurse. , {; W9 m9 I# e3 _

6 Q1 j- U3 e2 n- c5 bDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
3 K+ K) [, P/ v: L. ZNurses are known to be hot to trot".' h+ Q5 i$ w7 U% T8 s9 j
2 [5 F% o8 A  z  ^. H
The second man married a telephone operator. 4 U6 W+ k8 q! F; H
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. . w" ~" X! \& D1 `' m% j7 g
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
  k# j" j) ?2 J, Z7 g1 Pbutton...A-bomb.?
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, D8 ?1 p/ a! A" _( kThe third man married a school teacher. * p; t4 X6 P- @/ A/ {1 Z

' @/ s$ p# G. dDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty & Z0 Y7 _! h% N5 g, m( N' |
but teachers are just too frigid".
9 a0 W5 ^: ]# y1 a4 t9 L. \
3 f) {4 r3 T5 `The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
% |$ [2 b& d' Sonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
' U' w0 M1 ^4 Ewould call much later in the day.- W. u; X' ^5 R  H
" H$ |# t5 i, D& {
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The $ N9 w% U) n: k
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
8 D$ N; a: f! f" [0 epajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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1 h; n. x; u& Z- Z$ NDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night - L0 p# H0 X. W7 L. j' _
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary.". Z: h3 a  n7 ^

/ I4 K6 m1 U1 B. zAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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) X: x8 H( R9 q0 i. R8 p3 R, `The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 1 ^( _* `! z  [6 x9 [( O
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 1 x) P) t  o7 k
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.2 {8 u# L4 @$ a3 I9 j, p$ J

. f2 L1 q' {* n; w* y' O4 M9 YDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as " o+ J8 p5 o2 B: u9 q
their voices." ' L9 D* Z3 ~! b
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
: Y/ m; G' V4 g5 yheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
8 k8 t' l. a8 p9 P' ythree minutes are up." 8 d$ }. Y# m; Q! k# H5 `) F
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
. D2 c& T0 `5 Q. pcalling any minute.
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! F0 l# O. a* hFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.4 J' L' v; c, l

7 n/ [! C, X- B7 q, g% Q, K* KDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
: g; e/ l2 ~. p* P+ x- x% }) }man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only & I7 X+ S* f! J1 l
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
" y5 i6 ^) @" Ylegs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 1 \4 a1 e8 n9 i8 \) F' |/ [( O5 A
fight?" ; ~. U, V7 Q. R# V# X  X& r
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry $ o6 q* d/ r! I7 ?6 U4 o# u
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 1 R& X; x% t) p( c6 O  [/ E! W
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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