埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4653|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
9 }- r& b+ g/ _2 f! d( LBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a % E1 A+ a( B8 }4 J2 W5 D1 N
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
, G3 ]% H& i/ x3 r2 g- @, X( S4 Oand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 4 N- U$ C- z# r9 a
flock, will you give me one?"9 Q7 N% R3 t& E$ g
8 Y' r1 z" R0 ^' E$ v5 u4 F) x
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his   T2 ^% C& B$ {* i
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."9 o6 k/ \* C" r( W9 {% q5 Q
: ~: _& G& t8 [. ]3 c: A
The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
- d5 ^3 a% a" J6 Gcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a , l1 x# E/ f) a9 W' M+ B3 J
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
) p# F1 A6 s, Z( @* x# Xand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
$ X2 d, \, [" G2 zBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
4 m$ O& {2 e# f- ~( b9 \$ ra 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and 0 M: m# M7 r, ]! ~) |
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".$ C3 n1 i+ ~8 N3 W& D, l' t& ?' x1 j3 W
' ?( w) P! }! k4 q
"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. , j! K3 q* K; z) a& g1 t7 Y

, w( r3 h6 Y8 U& n5 P2 g( p3 pHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
% l  c; d1 k* U" w1 C$ a6 Hcar.: R; j( q6 }% {& g

% k/ D* z/ c! M. K( y* q- HThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
  E8 A9 X" m, n5 Mis, will you give me back my animal?"
3 R( E/ J3 I- w4 G$ v, T, |* q' F# J
"OK, why not" answered the young man.. e3 ~7 T1 y# T! u, J

/ m" l$ L% b/ E"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. % H( w+ h1 |! v" B0 s, u: f
) G# G( x8 y+ Z3 w4 ?
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?". B, N$ g) @& s' ?; ~" F
6 H3 g8 K1 M: k
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although , I: |* l) e( k# n
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
: M; q" U* K( b% U& kquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give , z; ~+ L- W! V5 ]3 u5 D' F: |5 L+ l
me back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is $ c  x  d5 c$ `* U, h4 J; x4 n
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
! o3 R  I8 U2 |) TNot having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 1 g, _/ w4 A" W& d; q2 @
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
, I# F! g" c# {$ o0 X5 @was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran ' U3 b, T8 M. x8 m0 Q) b
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 2 u0 f/ a' R" K! B7 q
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
" O4 P2 _. E: Z6 t2 H) k$ kopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
' D3 ?: m% p9 U; p* @& A( hresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
9 \8 ^! e) Q  r6 Y6 v4 X* wbags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 4 T: w. v1 _$ S' g1 w% L
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. . h1 g1 V  }; ~; s6 q6 V. z

# [) A3 v% d5 R1 Q% G* FThe first man married a nurse. 7 l" B: k2 N4 i0 {; Y/ ~; P% @
! E, o7 y  k1 D; ^/ `3 M
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
1 z4 t& C& U( n1 A; f; h1 JNurses are known to be hot to trot".' ]( u1 C$ C1 b

$ H. q+ M% Z' A. r  J/ TThe second man married a telephone operator.
! {5 c3 I/ Q1 S5 K4 _2 o2 W. w5 ~  }: ~
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
  c/ R  W  d: J) E/ l7 mTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
$ ]* b! p! i$ W1 M* [! f% abutton...A-bomb.?
: P# }8 e+ G# v! w8 V
5 K1 W: U7 T* t: d, J' RThe third man married a school teacher.
" g' n$ j1 A7 h
! {$ k9 O9 M! M* d' l) ^7 jDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty * r4 ~$ N" y1 N: Y4 T
but teachers are just too frigid".1 o3 q- t: N$ f9 S; \/ t9 p2 K
; e: U+ x9 _4 Z; O5 T0 g) v
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 9 c/ y  I/ b: V7 y3 n
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
& E3 {: Y+ }; j3 I# @! o9 Owould call much later in the day.* f6 R+ J+ p) d$ Z. f( Y, {& c9 O# u1 A
4 V8 _5 N0 V4 D  s2 f; X
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The , W0 A+ L1 v0 l5 [# f1 q
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
; a8 o% y$ i/ n$ X9 M% Fpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
2 u0 ]& |5 V0 a, R3 F( u
  _* i2 c& K/ C$ l7 k' cDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
# w4 m$ q$ t$ e* x/ W" S1 r+ h! z. @) l7 z* h0 z. U' f1 k. B
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
, @8 ?- S) E. V" d& k, m% lwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."6 ]" _) O" `5 h0 R: m- V

" o7 Q4 A4 B8 \2 `At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
& v5 y& t) z  _  K- `1 O# ^6 Q+ p1 C8 g  `. {/ B
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
: V0 n6 s9 ]+ Y6 Cas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 1 s. m* o9 h/ o, Y# m) v3 c1 I
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
# j+ H& |% K! B5 G0 K) k4 i8 Q& y3 e" z' z" O
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 5 f6 k' X% R' U3 v8 Z
their voices." 3 J4 h8 s$ f7 P( Z: f1 Z

1 ]! h5 S+ [" A+ _The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I : z$ x' k3 H6 |- q( b' c2 N
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 8 K- K8 h( u: B6 I$ V  W# A
three minutes are up." " S% s# s3 K3 w7 v7 ?" v2 s  I0 M. y

( N$ E. W- L- V, c1 [: w1 G, qDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be . P6 U; ]/ ~; B# v
calling any minute.4 F% u5 g$ ?1 q  H/ R

! x# _: h( Y( X6 I+ G& p  EFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
# H" ?6 W  ?! q7 _( `7 `! r6 E$ J5 d2 d6 D1 t5 c& ^2 {" p3 D
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
% c/ o( |+ u0 J: wman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 4 f# |% I! ]" c) j
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 8 }% b6 n( r% ]
legs.6 S$ D! m& S: J* l; Y" p( S2 `; S

5 a  o$ S" M; a" o6 gJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
$ }, y7 `( e% v( s( Nfight?"
7 X! z) A, I4 a* J' g9 h
, h7 ~, J' L' Q4 Z' U7 T4 tThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
) h, x7 o, H1 K7 W( O( Xa school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We - i% D+ N' l; ]! W$ Y; w" q
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-1-25 22:08 , Processed in 0.145503 second(s), 12 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表