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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 5 Z2 v% y. N2 i0 l5 o& h
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a
; f0 B& S$ C1 OBroni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
7 U5 e2 b, c% h. \and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your / q5 n4 r6 j8 n2 u  G
flock, will you give me one?"1 ^7 A0 ~5 @( o" P' W/ b( L
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his # y2 P7 r% h: `6 v  y2 V
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure.", N. J; E" ^& e4 i8 ?4 Z

! R+ g8 \7 Q* G- N, t0 }# jThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
% s: A  {( o& vcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ( [3 D) L8 P) c
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database ) j& ?+ E% L( K  k- Z
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his : X7 v; |$ C7 u4 i6 W* I' Y
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 9 ]& A. W3 q) ~
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
0 N* S; w* W# B% b2 @$ zsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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& H, R3 C$ e$ m, |"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his 1 u* y7 @4 a4 ]% B0 U, @) _
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business / m& K  R: Q! w3 q6 K
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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0 ^7 \/ Y# `2 C- Q1 n# h& s3 P) K. w"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. . j! a9 N/ u6 M  b; r5 r

8 S( |0 H6 c0 y"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
5 U+ e, H3 a1 Z' ^2 k( Z% o6 Anobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a & m* v: E7 [/ o1 x! N
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
$ b# r) T- j' Ome back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
; O( V: R5 ]7 w7 l$ |' Wundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". " }4 N0 {: L9 H
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
& a  O* M5 _6 Lmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
' \; g6 y, ]4 Gwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
' [6 {# I' W3 ^- J; n2 qinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
5 H! S" c6 @% ^5 V+ dher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was * n/ q2 q' W5 W
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman   v8 \4 t  ~% O
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
1 I+ j% r) D/ {! \" h5 vbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
; o; d4 ^8 f4 E. T1 L& m0 X' A2 fwhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 3 H/ `4 ~6 l* y
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The first man married a nurse.
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: n5 {) ^# v, f- N- u- uDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. ! U; _7 D" A+ k. g3 ^
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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1 O8 v3 c; K) [  ^9 ^The second man married a telephone operator.
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  a1 j. L  n6 E& z* x1 A4 ODave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ! _- W$ T; w0 t' d% s6 U" D- D$ B  N
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 4 t! X0 R9 a' k$ w# F& ?
button...A-bomb.?! ]; ?2 P* B) I# {: H: J
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The third man married a school teacher.
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7 l, D! Z$ _7 b- }! f( T( e% c2 r3 pDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
1 Q: s/ ^! n! S/ x% I# }4 e" ]but teachers are just too frigid"./ E8 j5 U, R6 ]5 a- P0 \" r& \
7 s4 L0 Y3 P" ~. ?; \9 M& l* ?  r
The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected - u; H6 l% a+ v, i  r
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
/ X" O" _" {+ Bwould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
7 }( M9 t+ _% }) \! ]nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
3 s" D! H6 b! e) ~pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. ! O/ |0 |8 j% r' ?& o  P. L

! C3 g- c1 H# q; C/ c8 {( fDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
/ ~7 ]1 @7 r6 A9 U; E, ^" B& P6 U, b" e. _
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night & O/ Z$ _1 B; _
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.) L" L/ D) E1 p+ {/ t0 ^- D* ?
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast . d' z8 j1 Q8 D% _5 m: m' t+ ]: ?
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
8 y4 M/ Z; R5 c$ pin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.& t1 a* [2 ~' e- C6 o

& B( l+ E  L8 V+ n, b5 q/ NDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 0 A% K. i' b9 g  o8 a! n4 L8 ~
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
# L1 o& }; d: Z+ F4 R1 Jheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
) y# M+ B1 L" w/ C* I  H; Athree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be 4 y0 J2 h  E9 R- B1 J; T
calling any minute.
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  n1 A% C/ B. Q' S6 R0 J* E/ XFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.7 d- x( J* [7 @: L
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
7 M: J+ t2 N. [& X, `0 qman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
2 B2 {3 V& h; t! ahis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 8 K- i9 v3 X2 m" |8 z
legs.
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7 j$ |4 V/ U# C2 h2 S$ c* |( `Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a
1 v& {: q$ o/ X# D/ Tfight?" # S3 N7 ?' |: s- Z2 {

% H0 }; w8 x) y. b2 aThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
; E8 s0 z/ t( J: |; Za school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We + S) |* M( _. n' m* c
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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