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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
7 w% |  M* i, A" YBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 9 L( `, O" c9 V/ x* b% G
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 3 D5 z3 G; M( v  w/ n( _; _$ m
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
' r2 I) u( w' H3 {, zflock, will you give me one?"0 v7 i2 i8 b9 E5 h+ R% A
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
  b; E+ c3 x  r) ?peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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- x5 q, j' G% q! B( u  EThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
0 t3 L& r/ w+ M1 C* u. e9 E2 pcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 8 d9 O- W' x6 j7 {; o
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
$ `. i" d2 `/ mand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his 4 d* @" R; U2 }  m/ I
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out
& a7 O# ]4 c7 n  t% N- ua 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
7 u7 v( f. {) Q, @1 usays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".1 |/ B& D2 A9 O. O

3 N$ [7 E3 x; `6 U9 D"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. % C! B5 g7 N4 j+ H4 N  [

) M: R% Q3 K5 {. R2 n+ \7 nHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his ) l' K  x0 p' ^9 G. @
car.
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9 T8 h+ H1 C- h; _1 {% X3 f( YThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business ' _5 w/ O5 R; E+ O+ E  B
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.3 s4 Y0 m# L6 ]  V$ W8 S
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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" o9 k, r% ?& A( r2 F( N; L) y"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
( P7 _  s/ c: h, F" C, S) @nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
" F7 i' Y  |5 Rquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
; y1 ]' w4 b+ gme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
; S2 Y  a4 x6 \8 O- L1 q. rundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". % z: K5 s* n. A1 W- {- i6 c. Z
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
/ }# P; |- t5 @; G, K, ?4 Lmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
3 C( Z0 V' u6 cwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
0 V& `7 T' V. I1 ~% Ninto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
, ]+ y: [' p+ y" K0 a. Jher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
1 y5 n8 p- _# S* b! {open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman * l5 ]! \; i/ e, P3 \
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle 8 r% q9 j% g% Q: c! f+ N' _, j
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, * C" _' K  s% e8 g7 F" |
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. 7 x( e4 ?# {0 i
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The first man married a nurse.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. # D2 t9 C9 C: p3 H9 G
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".3 u$ I" r9 d. e% e4 c
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The second man married a telephone operator. 1 p% @1 d" t  |) q5 b0 E

8 @& Y6 T0 I" C( SDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. : z5 u, l8 Z8 i! e4 p6 x  v
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top & l( j& p/ G( ^, v5 h
button...A-bomb.?
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5 k9 |. p1 ~- [The third man married a school teacher. ! h  B8 `9 L9 ]1 K. y; f

  z7 x' ^* o$ ?+ o1 H, d* pDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty $ {5 n* D- V9 u2 t+ ~0 z4 s; ~
but teachers are just too frigid".
# W" F1 r4 e4 h+ l
" g) Q0 q: e) R# o: ?The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 1 m, z- w+ U4 ?2 H- ^
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
" w% O+ c! G6 \' E$ Y  [) H% swould call much later in the day.
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
; }) k% c. n3 S- J- Qnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's / X. i2 _& P! s- ^9 h; r6 H$ c
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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5 [# e+ s* S" P+ S0 a/ kDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
+ J( C0 d2 p1 k0 l# i% ]% ?+ dwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."$ C- }- V; C, k! J( p% b' O5 M# {

  a& F+ Y. g' ^At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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+ S5 ^7 q% I) z- ^- s3 Z! UThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
2 }6 J+ W! l7 y  G4 f! }as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
' E5 F- x2 N/ t$ V. g: iin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.$ C8 f8 k2 X9 J, N+ f! Q
" [) m: Y& _# k3 V6 }
Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 6 M0 V" g) p1 Z, F) R
their voices."
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1 k, a; j# A/ h% ~The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
& \- Z/ _  n5 |$ ^heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your / }) W- A8 ^1 w9 [5 j3 [6 s2 v7 N
three minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be ! e7 \9 A0 D8 R0 w
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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# I6 l1 k! y3 j  A% |: v8 |0 U. FDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 3 V; D* A9 w" x" Y" p- r# t: b! ?4 S: T
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only # {1 k$ @' @- ^
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and , Z9 g; H  K* C
legs.  m# {+ R/ ~, U3 X! e. z
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 5 y6 I) r% t# L" a
fight?"
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( C0 B, E5 l/ h$ L0 X) ^0 ]The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 4 v. \# d- V) f0 [- R& V$ h6 N
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 6 m- ~* G4 X9 K1 `
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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