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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
  J, V$ R) H% rBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a : S1 l/ S7 ]$ H* H+ n
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
6 T0 C9 g3 p& e: _2 Q/ D  _and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
1 h3 X" \( _0 m7 t4 Dflock, will you give me one?"- J9 f1 U2 z. y* Z2 |9 O6 Q

& C9 o- b; F7 o9 C3 t; IThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
4 L( [& ~$ ^/ g; v, vpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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1 h" g3 {1 n& z6 X0 b- ]! x8 nThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 4 X5 |; Y4 D7 p$ `. E+ n
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
, O) l5 u' j4 a+ qGPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database 5 f( D) j8 Z' R. o1 {" [* ?
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his   e2 J0 Q* M5 P$ x1 a; u  O
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 5 F1 L% X1 `0 P4 n" v* A# n2 J
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and * T/ g1 @6 b8 M/ S, i% t
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
6 E3 N  G$ j3 s' h3 ~! Ecar.) {/ }! A( w& v' ?: B

2 k7 I7 ^& n4 y7 X& F4 s# ?Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 7 l+ o" u- Z1 k+ L' u
is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.+ Z, C! g7 I1 S5 U
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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0 E- d5 A3 e; z"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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7 l; o6 d3 ^* I6 m" D7 w% `5 b/ A"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although / M% g0 s' D, k' }* R1 |
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ! p2 Q/ J, U/ R/ `2 c3 K
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
9 H- R9 U/ }# nme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
0 u+ x- C- K2 H1 ?" D9 g! \" wundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
8 v$ L" G% O$ K4 Z- \Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 7 E9 z5 ~0 ~9 E/ E8 ?1 X
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 6 V( L* T7 ^, o; J- x% Q. O
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 8 ~7 i: r5 i2 J3 z$ H* X3 x
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 9 J6 Z$ E5 `4 @& D
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was - f7 e0 _7 @* J3 k- B- K
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman " t  l- h) D9 T2 R
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle " r9 I* I9 `. L, I( }) J5 N* |
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 2 j  Z% M8 Y$ j
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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5 ?: x+ y$ K# m: x5 g) cDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
6 p1 {7 a0 ?: R0 Y2 kNurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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& m/ b$ I! Z: Y( I" }. kDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
# L9 C! \* B) N0 q4 R. H+ UTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
$ C% o1 [1 r: S1 m& Hbutton...A-bomb.?+ Q5 `, }/ w3 r; B- S

) z: P; Z6 z2 A# Z; H# L7 [( M. eThe third man married a school teacher.   X$ j7 z. m; s/ V
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
7 t: h7 B5 ]7 m9 H" r. Z, Wbut teachers are just too frigid".
% }2 O6 F4 h( p# m3 r  o2 g
1 N6 c& F4 w6 l* ?% pThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected 9 e" k6 g+ l" W! R  T3 M/ f
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
9 E  ^, p! S6 Y/ Hwould call much later in the day.- B+ s5 a8 J3 X9 a8 [1 B4 K

- i$ {  C+ L2 u( MAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
# A; A/ |  o. h9 inurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
3 _  i/ i1 C0 I- j, q3 Qpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. ) F& }- }$ }3 K

& w9 ]! B( v9 P9 GDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.' M) c; @& A7 o
# o7 X* l7 x9 f2 Q) k, V& c, Z, g
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night 9 b: X4 x* ~) a. N* J
was her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast / H' S; V, i& J! l
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
1 Z1 R, l3 p+ c: G# |in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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, D, M8 x8 S- [8 b( z1 KDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ) x" ?# X8 ?; `# K- p
their voices." ) U! T6 K/ I9 V8 A! P$ m

& d; i" d+ d! ~. n6 kThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I - m1 s6 ?. N1 ]. f" o) f
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your 1 A7 {1 A: ?1 W( g
three minutes are up."
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/ n3 ]; i3 n5 J& eDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be ) ^% ]1 q/ }0 W  D- A
calling any minute.
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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9 j6 e9 u% b, c0 h# v/ V& \! ~Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 0 b1 O+ P" c) \  h  K9 T7 S
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
2 J$ p8 [3 I" \4 b5 E4 Y# P" lhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
: M% y2 C1 @' wlegs.1 A: K! Q. {6 y7 i: ]# h* C, l
% W4 l* G6 M2 @7 Z# f: f  O4 l: i
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a # e/ W: t1 ?+ g$ q) ]4 U, V7 w
fight?"   b6 j, r; U& m" S- m7 q) v* J( @

' G* p' B  T* G* e- H' kThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 0 G' s" [  y9 @' U* k2 A
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
" J0 L+ H' [) w; Iare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
大型搬家
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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