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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
0 q, t" \) j) v+ ]BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a % ^9 F' `& [3 \2 N8 ~! r) w
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
* C4 ^; P: O2 Eand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
8 ^- v7 E- Y6 d" w6 {flock, will you give me one?"
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
$ [' H8 `8 E) F7 L1 z; kpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
) @: J$ J; i: z% A) n% O; u' zcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a ' `6 C. k# R  x5 ^
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database * \- w# j  \0 ~& C  k2 K' p
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
4 [5 I! U/ S6 t: I) _+ z, |Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ! z3 y, g1 n. b3 ^, B2 _4 d
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and / @1 ~6 E: S8 _
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".) M& U, }" I7 O9 S( \4 `
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 0 |. A' i/ }* f

, a9 ~% ^) q6 ]8 U* z/ uHe watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his $ H) N6 L- z3 }7 x+ I& s7 k& J
car.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
+ V4 ~  U: C3 G$ P) C9 yis, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.- a  t& i" i$ @2 F: N

/ L- R1 g- h% R. m! G- h5 v4 q, `5 }( J"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. ) E1 k3 i# F) _; r8 c& A( t- _0 _

8 ?* n9 n6 w( {5 s) Q( g( ~"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"" }+ Y) R) d5 r* m+ B2 L( z

3 P4 I9 ~0 f* {: q"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
8 f7 }3 v0 h) d$ N3 ?; I- O  q$ R$ Wnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
: n6 a' {* E8 A/ \' U, u8 o4 f3 jquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
1 j+ _  N0 H( }8 C' G0 v9 C+ xme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
3 ]. b  A7 q5 S6 L& X' s8 z0 f# `undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 4 Q- y, @- Y" P( m5 D) Q4 D
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
* ~4 c5 ], q( J8 `% p. t3 L9 q& E$ Qmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 4 H, c, o; k6 v. f9 @; Q/ b5 \
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
: q* ?" H( _3 w# S% D! Sinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 0 R7 K2 i$ N5 z9 I
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 0 g- d' Y& B" ~0 k6 D. v
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman & M8 W- x) k' ?7 D; \0 v, |
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
/ X. s$ j9 {( R( x, b) Cbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 3 L4 \9 p( c) H  p
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. - `/ v: n' q/ p7 i$ z" Y- C4 O
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The first man married a nurse. & h: V; W  e4 z
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. " ^8 f3 |) Q2 p
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".0 c" l8 g& p( P' E
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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: c1 R: v6 s2 B# W4 P0 T2 B% SDave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. : Y( I7 z4 d9 u1 B2 p3 Z% p
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top " ?* s, E6 I" k5 t7 B3 u) y& u/ J
button...A-bomb.?
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6 E1 d3 _( C# ?+ y$ |The third man married a school teacher. 1 R( \+ t5 R. r* b% {% {
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
2 @6 @3 s7 z! M+ J1 N/ ~1 x. J4 Y# pbut teachers are just too frigid".
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7 j) Z- Y0 s. c0 R5 H+ E/ r5 w: PThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
' W! p5 b; W: x# F; H; Tonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
  ^. H( t1 }3 R5 \8 X7 T8 swould call much later in the day.
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  @( F) r, o/ v( }- r% o$ rAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 6 D8 x. o  ]( B
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's , Q( u4 g- f7 V5 ?! g
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
! I' R0 f% U/ S' N: c$ o: dwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."( W5 ?+ A/ _. A8 n! }- D
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.7 V5 H3 x, _( X: X+ S0 n

1 s& W. N4 p5 N/ l/ N8 ~# Z$ F# x* JThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 5 y5 i8 {' M/ T: G# y) `
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
$ U9 p, r- u' O/ L1 L7 Fin shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.( o; S8 l# R8 M3 O0 z2 d
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 3 l1 L" E% v4 r* M* k( @9 Y
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I ) _5 g7 c. l! B  A
heard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your ' g' v# D+ ]' f! u$ k& T  J6 v' \
three minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
1 m* P; a( K1 F- W. ]6 ocalling any minute.
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, \1 D* D' e% IFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ) G" p8 k" E+ {8 Q3 u1 \( J2 m
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
9 b4 E4 _$ c2 b6 e. _his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and # a3 H8 w9 o' I8 ]. R) l) h# `& x
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a : x/ h5 X3 c4 p+ [# O
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry , o5 j: u9 n% w5 k
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We 4 ^6 u0 T7 `0 u$ M3 h; j6 c. R& n
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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