 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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+ m: R5 g- |7 g9 y/ p/ f4 }Let's face it
' ?% c r9 P# jEnglish is a stupid language.
0 C" m2 p8 O, p. m9 [There is no egg in the eggplant
5 y# p2 m6 q. @- |7 c- INo ham in the hamburger, C; v: y. I5 \# N6 D: T3 u1 e+ P
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.4 D: \5 x3 G! |- p
English muffins were not invented in England9 J0 b8 `& v" K( r M
French fries were not invented in France.9 x1 y9 k) Y G0 g" v
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We sometimes take English for granted
9 g3 O' H# s9 k3 v! VBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
" E% l3 l0 i4 _* o3 \+ K# [Quicksand takes you down slowly; }9 S5 x9 n8 z$ ^
Boxing rings are square
" r2 w2 v" N/ _5 F1 PAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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( x0 Z$ ]2 A8 i* eIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.6 E4 X" W X, S8 }' c
If the plural of tooth is teeth6 V3 P3 i# C9 Y: p# b5 a- v" C) v
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- R8 |' I& y/ Y/ l% E
If the teacher taught,$ S, K. I3 d2 w+ A
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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1 C) c( T9 _: g( ~' R, F: |9 uIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
% O! w% d- `; h4 x8 h0 g5 \What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 `& e* U/ r# [; N+ I; X2 ~- q! q3 ^
Why do people recite at a play
! F! y* t5 h5 B. y7 f/ VYet play at a recital?
! T' l* P4 {8 K% APark on driveways and
c6 X6 u' k' S, ~5 A' RDrive on parkways
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4 _ v2 _) |- T O0 KYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% m/ G, j& }* e: G& [2 t- A8 C: XOf a language where a house can burn up as
( a* x5 y; p& s4 RIt burns down* A; S. s( f& Y, Z$ V+ f! h- ?1 Q
And in which you fill in a form + K" a! H" b4 d% t# e
By filling it out
* U1 I" p' F7 u+ a6 DAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!0 m- _4 Q( V7 O
+ V# e% E/ h- w d: F8 f8 @English was invented by people, not computers
) V' M; {* {7 N XAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race# a: u5 C5 ~* |. C( t* y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)' W: g0 g) U% p0 Z8 m
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That is why: R0 c# M% v! W1 \- C
When the stars are out they are visible+ Q3 w5 |7 O, k" d
But when the lights are out they are invisible
9 y8 d2 ^. X% {And why it is that when I wind up my watch+ q- C8 O5 Z$ [) Y
It starts
: f6 l A8 R+ K, F/ B/ B3 y* QBut when I wind up this observation,
, j/ k( Z P0 M& D- a6 dIt ends. |
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