 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?" z/ y, i8 r" E% v2 c- T2 C5 W
- m7 Y* h! ]2 h* s2 Q$ u" _- b. {Let's face it
/ j; s4 m; K5 ^9 Y, i) nEnglish is a stupid language.4 W& j0 L4 u U7 [
There is no egg in the eggplant
) R4 R: w5 i2 e) t% R3 ] S9 E. yNo ham in the hamburger
! p0 D+ T' e' H/ o; M6 IAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
6 |+ p7 r2 {3 g+ y* @3 Q3 ^4 |* I, QEnglish muffins were not invented in England$ A. s" I& Q1 U. r6 s7 M; a3 ~- A
French fries were not invented in France.% W/ P# O5 D5 x j% c
* R; [2 g* N! E6 mWe sometimes take English for granted+ }# w' D P# u' u8 ~
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that- I, Y& `6 @5 [: B
Quicksand takes you down slowly1 @9 L7 R8 p, E$ P! \5 H( W
Boxing rings are square: D- [6 _6 Y; l1 C
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.! `7 i0 v4 [' b( z2 l
If the plural of tooth is teeth
( O A+ y% ?* e8 gShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
8 ^9 V3 `, x7 j. o* Q3 IIf the teacher taught,
8 [* P g; E6 CWhy didn't the preacher praught.+ L6 n2 A5 D' G, J
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
/ w& H4 ?3 ?" A5 `' g# WWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
" o! ~( j3 X# ?. `& O Y: YWhy do people recite at a play
' ?& p4 B0 Q7 u fYet play at a recital?
/ z! {# D7 o- |/ Z; xPark on driveways and
# C$ G( n( M4 L" gDrive on parkways
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7 @- ]. f; g/ x" r# ~. s* GYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
/ M% B" O; l: c! c: `Of a language where a house can burn up as
0 s M. b5 H# oIt burns down9 ~$ [1 Q8 l: c& Q+ k0 |$ w1 F. v
And in which you fill in a form
7 ^9 z% R8 n; ?4 Q$ uBy filling it out
: n" _, W. i2 b4 R7 h" GAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!- `2 g$ d+ ?; c
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English was invented by people, not computers
E6 H4 J5 ]' F/ j [And it reflects the creativity of the human race; F% Q; _$ ~* n, k, ]' F5 e; M
(Which of course isn't a race at all)5 i5 N R5 Z/ S# O& [
7 X2 H( F& q2 k8 a* UThat is why
: W8 q# @2 E3 T. y2 g0 kWhen the stars are out they are visible. \ K# {& }4 ^: P, }
But when the lights are out they are invisible. b7 [+ R! r+ B2 j7 A& \2 @
And why it is that when I wind up my watch/ u7 E, R1 `% K, Y) Y: i3 O
It starts" Q6 E7 h3 A7 _5 X- _+ J8 m% S C
But when I wind up this observation,- `8 A" W* N9 n& M
It ends. |
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