 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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5 v& R$ ^: F6 M, H- LLet's face it/ P; A. \! L9 k g- T7 Y
English is a stupid language.
: a' m0 G/ T& a9 C1 oThere is no egg in the eggplant4 i `6 q( j* {; L! Y
No ham in the hamburger r% N5 m* U# @- }. y' B( H
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
) N# }8 B2 W5 D7 KEnglish muffins were not invented in England
* b7 ?/ F; d" T/ ZFrench fries were not invented in France.0 x7 _" T& `1 b. M0 U; q( C2 D
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We sometimes take English for granted2 i$ C+ m+ _+ e4 h( `
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that& }7 ^& o7 ^: ^& s
Quicksand takes you down slowly
# j( X$ B5 g: I! z( g+ z7 BBoxing rings are square
. S) J: L3 O* U5 M2 B' [% F# ?And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. , s) Q# Y# @: S" Y2 n2 a8 }) n
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
, E" m- R2 o4 M$ IIf the plural of tooth is teeth
1 r' B1 ]: G% T6 m7 ]Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
, |* I6 w/ P. q! ~" }, @" JIf the teacher taught,
4 W. }( C! t5 r$ K8 p& b: kWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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; p6 {6 |) O- w# P0 n+ J2 U2 Z3 M0 FIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 ^4 e+ D" V2 y5 s. L0 rWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?, x" T$ t2 t; Z$ R2 b8 |( p: T
Why do people recite at a play3 |2 F8 F9 }" I( a8 x' d
Yet play at a recital?
' f2 V7 Z3 w4 VPark on driveways and# R. [* x. `- Q1 C$ O6 |
Drive on parkways& \3 s- w& g' i6 v" V
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy$ j4 G& b# D, \0 E% o. Y
Of a language where a house can burn up as
9 |& E1 `1 Z d. A! J% IIt burns down
! @, y! Y" N }8 t | yAnd in which you fill in a form 8 Y. A! ^$ W7 @) Q
By filling it out' H+ ~$ a6 `2 r
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
! y6 \! V' e9 P$ |$ DAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race' N& a- _: S" a+ V* L+ I6 Q" Y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why# b+ W$ H! i" C
When the stars are out they are visible
5 ^* X; l% s0 ^8 tBut when the lights are out they are invisible
3 g3 N; c# j+ }5 p7 G1 \2 H2 PAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
8 c$ o8 O: h- }It starts, \- ~6 Q L a, i
But when I wind up this observation,
5 n: G: [ }* O3 ^# n2 qIt ends. |
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