 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it$ w' ]" _9 z& u5 A7 E7 \
English is a stupid language.1 g% d: q8 R5 \4 l8 ~. R$ P# U3 q+ M
There is no egg in the eggplant
3 |# L; P" N8 ?No ham in the hamburger$ `; _- _+ J) i! i. I# U: H
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
G9 S) M; N& v* C6 ~( A" X8 kEnglish muffins were not invented in England
* b9 ^" l' {8 T9 i9 h; r* jFrench fries were not invented in France.# H4 y; Q/ Z! _1 Q9 s, P0 G# n
: B, x4 N! Q& W1 g" i WWe sometimes take English for granted" A d& h5 N, v" y1 f% v- i; i
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that, x- s4 s( T; \/ i ^) ^
Quicksand takes you down slowly
' q/ M% x: W% Z/ rBoxing rings are square
! v5 Z$ J* f [( x6 NAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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: V: d6 u$ s, z UIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
9 E. S5 }* Z' W2 u' ^If the plural of tooth is teeth9 c- P& l: G l
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth* [' F* B) |9 l7 [3 f4 p$ I
If the teacher taught,1 g. E7 e8 Q. u# n8 j
Why didn't the preacher praught.) v* @# g5 F9 \. _" G/ l9 B
5 ^0 R8 I9 g7 \- ^' N) ~If a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 N0 e2 s; v4 J P( T( I- v* }What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?7 k# }9 P3 Q7 L: z y+ i; e* Z: n
Why do people recite at a play
% x+ `- a; q! m; H" oYet play at a recital?, t8 B7 {0 W" F' z" q
Park on driveways and. T1 q. r: @ ` j+ ~/ x1 y. D; ?+ O' q
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
$ t) @7 N7 J) C. c: ?6 W* [Of a language where a house can burn up as: c3 ?: b5 s3 M: k* K: B3 n6 l
It burns down
- \4 n" }2 v3 d& GAnd in which you fill in a form
; Q p* U$ H7 I1 d4 QBy filling it out
) D6 H" }9 h/ K- w, AAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!8 x- a: r6 t$ j, T
. m. R0 |% }* b# S6 q- _English was invented by people, not computers; E E0 t) t" j$ e5 Z
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
j7 W: Y9 X$ A2 j(Which of course isn't a race at all)4 X- k3 q; u2 K
$ ^% z. D' R5 Y% z! {, jThat is why9 N5 F8 W4 N6 s9 n7 M
When the stars are out they are visible
5 l: ]5 Z$ b' y. f# W8 ABut when the lights are out they are invisible8 C! F7 J- _. E- Q* w7 l
And why it is that when I wind up my watch& K6 j) o) x, `1 P' k0 X
It starts# N$ T0 @; b# {6 s0 v
But when I wind up this observation,; d: o* C H7 W2 S
It ends. |
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