 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
& K9 O' T$ p3 G O5 r' d3 I6 d' z& Y9 v/ ` R8 h# U
Let's face it
/ e5 P$ Y! R5 ^% O R! F8 s/ T* @/ REnglish is a stupid language.
- c/ {, F+ _& M6 Z3 e0 Q, r) w8 YThere is no egg in the eggplant" q g) F' ], z
No ham in the hamburger: Y) u8 t6 b( G+ i% q
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
6 c( W' ]( M) R2 I$ O# E8 SEnglish muffins were not invented in England! s: h& V* k1 a q N& z, _6 U
French fries were not invented in France.- ~: Y! X2 r/ p5 Z
9 R' w7 k5 s5 D9 f( Y# K0 w& T! T
We sometimes take English for granted3 D. r' p* r" i
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that2 N( J. l) |( ]8 n
Quicksand takes you down slowly
) G- q. R$ w `- JBoxing rings are square; m# G2 N; |0 |! X5 k
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 v" R- D0 W3 `! L& t
* G# |' m% D! ?/ } N+ q8 i* g. n, M
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.0 [2 c8 `9 C, q+ q
If the plural of tooth is teeth
. [3 B4 f$ ~3 EShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth' E6 i) j: k- Z( P5 J0 }$ v
If the teacher taught,' t# I+ k- f: c9 p$ k) G
Why didn't the preacher praught.
% N* _7 Y5 c" k. j
. q5 F: S( |4 I- T* Z% ?If a vegetarian eats vegetables" {% a) Q- _; y+ @3 y
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?+ B* @, A: |; c1 s, h% G
Why do people recite at a play
. V2 P) h2 }' A) ?$ F9 rYet play at a recital?
( c2 o- l d. s7 ^ F A$ _Park on driveways and
. ^2 F1 ]8 @1 H) k G0 mDrive on parkways
8 S: W1 |, h" O
& y, r2 h8 [; M% f N3 r; MYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
9 y) @4 t/ Q5 T/ @! j5 b* P: p2 VOf a language where a house can burn up as
% I! c; ?! q" Z' C# Y% \9 fIt burns down
1 |0 \0 M( ]0 ^! NAnd in which you fill in a form
, P5 Y! H" E7 D' x) O* e& |1 @By filling it out
& d+ v" N4 A) N- O2 AAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
1 _/ T+ Y' E, {3 V! m) n# B
' p) U; Y* g4 \: dEnglish was invented by people, not computers
7 y- L5 Q8 ]6 D: U6 e( \And it reflects the creativity of the human race
1 }! h* K) `, O. w7 \4 y: C; g(Which of course isn't a race at all)
. \7 V% E2 t4 }) k6 P
: \2 u- T1 L& s! CThat is why% g' Z+ V" |% r7 A6 ?6 d
When the stars are out they are visible
& r0 f6 h* P, T4 {, M" sBut when the lights are out they are invisible4 k/ ?& W1 r# O( c+ k
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
/ e" ]# x, O! K* ^) |It starts# Y! ?2 O. K$ x% p2 L- ?
But when I wind up this observation,1 Z, u6 G6 J) v. n1 [' W+ E
It ends. |
|