 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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% O$ n2 h3 G$ l% gLet's face it
9 p+ L( J k3 U# F6 V O4 \English is a stupid language.
& J! R, A, y( H- _9 H7 Y/ \+ WThere is no egg in the eggplant8 b& h5 m% @3 w6 Y+ W& M* d
No ham in the hamburger) ^8 U% d" H9 Z: _- \% @
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
! u6 z% s; B; O# H' x3 ~+ m9 m# l( wEnglish muffins were not invented in England
G+ y: o5 \0 {% ^# n* F6 }French fries were not invented in France./ s9 |1 g# j3 S3 _) n' V( ~, V
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We sometimes take English for granted
8 T5 d) V7 ?' }8 yBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
4 p1 V& E; t( n0 g4 kQuicksand takes you down slowly
- T6 `% j$ i6 ?/ e. P0 ]8 @7 v8 NBoxing rings are square
- W9 s/ c3 ^% F" Q1 oAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. , Q5 Y/ f. }7 Y: r
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.; U* E$ d( E- [+ `0 N1 C( h8 K1 @" K# N
If the plural of tooth is teeth. A* J3 [+ z4 z. Q* _$ F( D! f
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
# u- ]) V% A: ]8 i* ]- J4 Y0 X# ]* EIf the teacher taught,
6 T7 b% j' y- I4 m2 v' wWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
+ h' r$ K0 x7 L8 R7 Q) WWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?3 f3 F1 K# `7 Q) E/ ^6 F0 r" ?
Why do people recite at a play
3 ^3 P; n0 I" O" C; I+ bYet play at a recital? m: z4 w2 E* h
Park on driveways and) B, E6 _1 s- S# ]# A
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
' U0 F \$ r/ ~1 F) eOf a language where a house can burn up as/ t: m3 k& f( o
It burns down
n: j# {% h4 E6 eAnd in which you fill in a form
3 o2 N- g F: b2 ^( v" `8 wBy filling it out" M1 X' X9 Y2 h. \! R- \8 K
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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# `$ O4 `' K' q( M/ U9 V* xEnglish was invented by people, not computers
3 F9 x. E* C6 E' RAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race2 M( R! l- e1 X: y+ q5 s
(Which of course isn't a race at all)# Y) `) S! P" H! d5 B. U
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That is why; L! J2 |' K$ N4 x8 ~
When the stars are out they are visible
% |1 d+ N7 R) u3 i1 m, W6 pBut when the lights are out they are invisible' u& }( I$ s. f
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
/ e( c; Q. ^# r/ X5 KIt starts' C# w* L0 f% h7 |8 J! r$ ?$ a
But when I wind up this observation,& x' J% O7 W. d* g
It ends. |
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