 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?+ E' O+ |; O! o6 H, ]
- Z1 Q7 }5 B7 z4 p: Z6 Z" sLet's face it
5 L6 x/ f. B, d6 a% BEnglish is a stupid language.
( B; P9 f) Q! ~/ ], LThere is no egg in the eggplant
& l* ?! S9 j; C3 P& ANo ham in the hamburger: _) q5 ?. w. E% O; i6 R* V
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
7 l) q) V1 b$ F9 t$ ?% z/ ~# G3 aEnglish muffins were not invented in England
( e# b1 E+ U' V' O' O8 ^. `" jFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted6 p) C0 f- l( f% o3 m
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
& L# R7 I& k( a# v7 ^3 X5 fQuicksand takes you down slowly
7 p! a6 Y- a0 _9 y, @! ZBoxing rings are square: F' j/ \! z) w B! q
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ( N( j+ f3 h: b, d% Y) H3 d) j
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.. f/ n7 ^0 e: N: f8 k" I
If the plural of tooth is teeth4 m: l3 C2 O2 T* t8 c8 v" V
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
& M, ?( f( m9 z, S9 _If the teacher taught,' s3 S L! Y& q3 j
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
# o+ r$ U3 H9 I+ |+ U bWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
# i( d/ ?3 A% ]0 N6 aWhy do people recite at a play
: j1 p1 z- e8 ^: Y" cYet play at a recital?
! Q, ^) k" C z" N' L4 EPark on driveways and
; A) e1 U# x* y( y9 E4 KDrive on parkways
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. S. t- B* B' ~2 Z" AYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
4 V7 k+ S% p6 M9 r- G6 I% [3 EOf a language where a house can burn up as
; { g. B; e5 ^0 }It burns down j* v8 [ N+ }9 T6 u, [ `
And in which you fill in a form
7 g% I0 a. z9 O3 L$ P0 h" _" oBy filling it out
3 A6 x2 L% n6 ?; V$ ~4 y( @/ yAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!% C& ]- Q9 H8 c* a( V6 K, |
8 O" G# k, z S0 {8 HEnglish was invented by people, not computers7 b$ a( b7 Q5 w6 f9 p: `
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 `& S2 J4 {* T. U6 ](Which of course isn't a race at all); e% M$ a, e2 X5 A* Z
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That is why
4 A8 M6 }! P. M* t3 VWhen the stars are out they are visible6 K# r6 o( n0 e$ P$ o
But when the lights are out they are invisible8 {: G/ P- l; j7 D; [9 E
And why it is that when I wind up my watch j7 M* N/ o4 h/ s8 ]3 P; K4 `
It starts/ Q/ X D" V x/ V) S) B( @3 @3 t
But when I wind up this observation,
! |9 B0 B4 e: [It ends. |
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