 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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) Y* g$ Q4 m6 q3 pLet's face it( P' ?) n; |, b- y! Y6 ?
English is a stupid language.
) s, K7 i; ] Y+ Z5 G( D5 wThere is no egg in the eggplant5 ^3 L) Z/ d8 |% y1 B5 x
No ham in the hamburger, V3 g" U6 |: l; `: T1 ]
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.5 E2 h5 u ` H+ y
English muffins were not invented in England$ `& d) ^ v1 b/ s( w, A7 }: a
French fries were not invented in France.
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+ j- \/ i/ g% g2 }, J' A+ ^We sometimes take English for granted& \2 Z4 m6 K, w8 ?( J* u7 G
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that6 f6 Q6 O s4 v2 n9 a
Quicksand takes you down slowly; z0 X4 e, P" m3 D
Boxing rings are square
: M; L& V1 m) sAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ( V0 @: ^9 s4 [4 O `" E
- Y! i# ], u' O4 x# VIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.6 u; x8 Z% F% P0 s: x; Y
If the plural of tooth is teeth; _* B3 O7 Q0 H) W
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth: b5 N! ]9 p: Z' a
If the teacher taught,
% | g9 l I# H d! I9 f$ ~5 xWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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! u" W8 N. r, CIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
, t3 ~0 r' k, F2 W5 |0 k& O# f1 CWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
4 _3 t* G' l" x0 R8 J" zWhy do people recite at a play
3 K! S# x6 b) M( z. S5 w% cYet play at a recital?
# c: c8 @- o8 O) DPark on driveways and- D# M! H; Z, n% l% \( o" D
Drive on parkways$ R, w9 V0 K: o3 }8 |9 Y
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy- \" Z5 J& B3 r! e, B/ q5 V5 _3 S% C
Of a language where a house can burn up as& Y; s2 a- L: r
It burns down
4 C% D( h8 ^9 z* VAnd in which you fill in a form , ]" Z# ?4 T+ n, N* m
By filling it out
/ |) O/ F3 V% |! E/ cAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!/ x' o2 h6 q/ P
8 p5 e2 J& F0 EEnglish was invented by people, not computers
/ Y8 ` D! q/ L* \And it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 N: \3 ^$ F+ V: r/ V(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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+ K8 \3 F( R9 a3 Z# q: O5 x" LThat is why9 X% n$ H4 a' @5 @7 S- J
When the stars are out they are visible/ |& p+ O' e& X! A: R+ p9 o% x
But when the lights are out they are invisible
3 V5 o# a Z9 H3 v* K: q0 Y* }And why it is that when I wind up my watch
. I2 ~" I' o( JIt starts3 B/ ?) ^8 M( a
But when I wind up this observation,8 T8 F ]4 Z" T3 ~, K7 D+ f
It ends. |
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