English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
/ ^' K4 f0 P* I3 F9 q9 KNo ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

2 p3 j& [! t5 i5 [+ J" J" i8 Z; AWe sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
8 o0 W8 x3 K! r: g4 p& u3 X# kBoxing rings are square
7 P* c0 ^& E2 x" e6 bAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
6 {0 ]$ y5 H# |4 [0 j  u" h8 sShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
, Z9 e& d3 h# Z% Q3 }5 P& _( C* YIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
" f5 `3 i% x; T9 _0 h; [, F
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
( p3 `* ~0 _  D; qWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
$ m# ^  H' u, j7 AYet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
  f- y& J" O3 \Drive on parkways
3 s! S- `2 C6 n
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
% R) f! X$ @' {' u$ [It burns down
! A: Y8 s- x) s! B* a2 S" j" zAnd in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
# P3 N0 g. F/ m0 x( H' C$ kAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!

" I  c7 ?. R& d; cEnglish was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 ~+ {+ ^, {5 D(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
. `0 [2 J" n! a! b& |When the stars are out they are visible
9 R& N( ]. R$ Z! c$ P9 u7 G* aBut when the lights are out they are invisible
) y: D, M1 e/ h8 D1 O/ }And why it is that when I wind up my watch
' A9 D5 }5 E# w) WIt starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
* S3 L+ o2 c) E2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
. o9 v& u! P/ P, r/ j' r! ~3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
2 F; a/ b. E8 b% q' p) E9 Y9 G4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
' V& e& @# H6 Z, o我看了几行,就看不下去了.
+ Q: p" ]6 P' ~8 z1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
" }7 f$ }! {  @4 d( o! [; k2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

0 ~: P2 H* p7 Q0 g6 V6 O
, P1 g. k7 z6 `& i8 v4 D谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
$ ]: R  U2 k  A; t0 h% q7 L. ?实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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