 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?4 I$ l: D$ I& F' N. }1 H1 L7 a3 L
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Let's face it
! S! r2 L% r) F7 C# [0 t" j+ vEnglish is a stupid language.
2 R" O. K2 G4 u$ hThere is no egg in the eggplant# \ |; ~% _+ E& e2 B" U
No ham in the hamburger
1 H# t7 ]5 e* {3 v% @And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' k3 A0 z7 h! q$ IEnglish muffins were not invented in England
' B4 u0 ~9 a: H, M: MFrench fries were not invented in France.7 k3 E* k# x0 B- `- I- S
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We sometimes take English for granted
2 p; E- S. _ O5 f/ pBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
" ~: r, `0 u/ SQuicksand takes you down slowly/ h l x, `) L
Boxing rings are square$ O% x6 p: [% B" @
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. $ Z5 c# m4 W; e7 Y. V
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.. n3 i; Z, p. M& N7 ~
If the plural of tooth is teeth6 t- `$ O' x% F- k. V4 ?" m
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 ?6 v$ Z. v vIf the teacher taught,0 i# K; l; L9 v( {, U
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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* ~( Y" p/ n% q; H UIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
+ c) V2 E3 p; E7 ?What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?, e: w5 q4 V! [
Why do people recite at a play' Q9 ^# s* Z* Q$ B w1 X
Yet play at a recital?
' q2 p1 z. E8 F( {, A$ fPark on driveways and
8 `* `( G# x0 `! @# [# e3 ` L$ VDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
2 [, R3 y& I. `/ a M9 O. m; a% vOf a language where a house can burn up as
8 L; k; N" u& h4 s4 Y DIt burns down3 x" M# g, E# S+ O# v! ~3 |
And in which you fill in a form 3 N% a+ `9 J. r8 k/ W
By filling it out
& f+ a, y8 a4 J8 P! g% EAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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, K- a0 z2 G7 ~! A" G, N1 {English was invented by people, not computers( t5 ? q5 B, X z
And it reflects the creativity of the human race% k# s/ E' [/ B
(Which of course isn't a race at all): w% b+ X9 x4 k, L) Q
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That is why8 N9 r* D D& L2 l1 _
When the stars are out they are visible
$ ]/ o0 x+ S, pBut when the lights are out they are invisible+ y9 i' B) F5 A/ Y% `! u
And why it is that when I wind up my watch$ a I8 R: o: {. t$ W
It starts7 I* v3 J2 m" C `, S) F/ k
But when I wind up this observation,
; e" k3 G) [( Z: K& o* y2 iIt ends. |
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