 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
& v% A6 X4 j" a9 xEnglish is a stupid language.( ^/ C9 O: \! s5 l+ h: P7 n1 V* i: H
There is no egg in the eggplant: h# Y( j8 A2 v2 V! x, _5 m! g
No ham in the hamburger
/ |' m' L0 n( F" \" [And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 s* Q( r( m6 B' r/ L. M: I9 vEnglish muffins were not invented in England7 z. h& ~: I1 ?2 I/ g- w6 f
French fries were not invented in France.
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9 b$ a- x* Z. X) R" ~% x( zWe sometimes take English for granted! B& D+ Q7 M5 k. r4 n8 n
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that9 B0 e7 W" V# r0 I8 ]& M
Quicksand takes you down slowly
9 ^/ {" Q1 Q. P4 m, q8 U. {Boxing rings are square; B, F7 j/ z- ~. o, L
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.; V6 g6 i% L+ c0 \, W# ^, C/ V. B
If the plural of tooth is teeth
9 V8 n0 H" a( v, r7 SShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
8 j) X) _ e! K E, dIf the teacher taught,
3 C. g' F2 ?9 P9 K( L7 k3 OWhy didn't the preacher praught.8 v7 f# P+ M$ v: z
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables" V V# s' n$ `+ v5 F
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* n, D# a/ ^7 w: u2 i8 I4 XWhy do people recite at a play. H# W9 B9 p1 B' ^
Yet play at a recital?' X2 o, X3 I, Y o A; l
Park on driveways and
2 J: b. T; s5 K+ ?# `Drive on parkways( b2 Q8 w* b( R5 {: \
( b% I. h9 ^7 ~You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
* @8 D4 f' H* o, t7 vOf a language where a house can burn up as3 V' k: y7 D, n8 u
It burns down
, ~: Y t+ y0 F/ r9 q# r nAnd in which you fill in a form 0 i" N' D8 [+ q6 ^1 O
By filling it out! q: P5 x$ c3 v& n4 W. L+ K9 ^
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
+ u J5 s4 t/ OAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race( z/ O$ R7 @2 }
(Which of course isn't a race at all)5 d. x, _! h8 L6 t; ~
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That is why0 F1 \+ x2 O' z0 c# z# p
When the stars are out they are visible. N# m6 U% L) }4 Z1 M7 l O6 W
But when the lights are out they are invisible
& U; P: F6 b# u/ H9 z4 uAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch' v/ D; K d. N$ ]/ e$ B
It starts% A& N+ N. u r4 i& B9 }3 [
But when I wind up this observation,5 l& ~2 v; l8 I
It ends. |
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