 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
# H8 A( ~9 h, _5 GEnglish is a stupid language.
, T' o+ u9 Y: @* [9 J/ |' J; ?There is no egg in the eggplant5 W3 L V+ H3 M. a
No ham in the hamburger
1 c5 V' ^( P& X0 o6 ~And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ w$ d' D! P$ c# `2 q
English muffins were not invented in England
, F K8 b& D7 Q/ bFrench fries were not invented in France.* }2 O* U# u9 G7 q
! |/ A. b& u% @' rWe sometimes take English for granted
" U8 K% [7 R" B! |3 A, a8 kBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that4 S- r$ |5 [' a0 S6 K
Quicksand takes you down slowly
4 n* y3 ?6 k: t; C5 u- oBoxing rings are square
) R8 j5 j. m7 z, l1 RAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. - O+ z5 V7 N/ }
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.! P/ m. F0 F# I- |9 S* }9 G
If the plural of tooth is teeth
0 j5 E4 Z' `7 ]) mShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth w& c0 `4 V$ k+ e8 ~6 X0 {, f# f
If the teacher taught,! j" }# u4 M) ?9 e5 ]
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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2 H& L, k3 [& c* G7 r% tIf a vegetarian eats vegetables# Y" y$ U* [- P& K
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?; O) u/ d8 r' f4 P9 H% N& D& I
Why do people recite at a play( r% _4 X5 l# T0 `8 J
Yet play at a recital?, T4 h; m" u- J5 ]4 W! Y/ |
Park on driveways and$ ~+ j- Q. t& t& ?, \# s
Drive on parkways! A i: z d8 B0 h
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy8 M( c& H( a2 ~ N( T! |
Of a language where a house can burn up as
+ v) M6 p1 f @3 F/ x7 d- oIt burns down( j+ D9 O; C. v5 @$ w
And in which you fill in a form 0 C: b; C+ w) q
By filling it out
7 b. ~9 `- [- k) ~ n7 _) C3 U1 sAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!* |" \$ e9 G2 J; A. O9 {
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English was invented by people, not computers
" }5 t' l% L. m3 R6 ]" c0 `% o1 k1 gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race# v( j2 w8 l, _8 {/ l0 c; W! ]
(Which of course isn't a race at all) t! F3 G5 f7 C' J; p0 ]) k
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That is why$ I3 m w) L" L) V
When the stars are out they are visible
) u, d1 h. A! [% C4 W+ l- e9 VBut when the lights are out they are invisible/ {, V) ?$ E' z
And why it is that when I wind up my watch0 d% q2 y: e" N% U! \" `+ Y% {# _
It starts
% X% M- k( S$ L" F0 O9 IBut when I wind up this observation,
; ~5 @1 N( Y l/ b& VIt ends. |
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