 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?, L+ e" n$ \0 k4 h: a) E1 N4 K
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Let's face it; R9 I# W. i5 P* \/ x
English is a stupid language.+ Q3 ^9 p0 b7 e7 C
There is no egg in the eggplant
4 z& n6 J3 l1 N3 ~# c* l- F1 NNo ham in the hamburger
2 P+ E* Q6 A4 a, V2 H" R4 ~0 @And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.8 h) \; {3 I% X, [4 v, X
English muffins were not invented in England6 [4 a/ o( V, O! g) J
French fries were not invented in France., L6 R: ]7 L0 D+ o5 [
+ i- q' }+ ~/ |* E3 z- IWe sometimes take English for granted# n0 a6 n b" a# N
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that s! V+ n! V P/ C9 C
Quicksand takes you down slowly
! h. M' x0 D' Q5 ~/ t( Q( G0 S) PBoxing rings are square
+ ]! }. G- Z D" y. @# bAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.- T% F4 ~; ^8 Z
If the plural of tooth is teeth
7 L* N c6 u0 O/ y8 T; HShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth( Z/ }* n0 w# q2 W" H$ l
If the teacher taught,9 B) d9 }7 F+ k$ x4 Y1 g: s
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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/ Z9 S: h$ P5 X, w0 FIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
- u! Y# W5 k+ o7 TWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
2 s- D+ Y; a8 B$ S& r! l- {Why do people recite at a play1 o Q/ W6 y4 I1 A1 s" X$ c5 w9 m
Yet play at a recital?
$ h2 c! J9 j5 ]6 S( {+ e- O B' OPark on driveways and' a7 e/ V' t8 X. K: G- Y @9 @
Drive on parkways/ s5 n9 j7 V9 G( N( B; q
/ ?( x* S2 D) N: j& ~You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
2 ?5 x6 v |* u* EOf a language where a house can burn up as" L* e" g: }; z* ]3 G( q
It burns down
! {- `. a, I9 M7 N; P9 kAnd in which you fill in a form 4 I& B0 M1 Z0 T) m9 E( q% C
By filling it out
/ h2 W& T8 s! m/ ^6 ^$ \/ GAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!5 V$ e/ x2 G8 H# [* u' b1 t2 w
. U4 x9 P# B* S7 WEnglish was invented by people, not computers
/ F5 w) N1 M( D; m; F2 JAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 a7 K* V1 G" Q+ C% T(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why4 p) @# S/ O8 A+ B* ~) m9 u
When the stars are out they are visible
" C* F1 O4 ?4 x- V: y( SBut when the lights are out they are invisible- u A- i; O% w# q6 b
And why it is that when I wind up my watch0 r: C9 U( ?: {" ?
It starts
2 X7 ~7 n/ \8 F, E4 M# C7 i- pBut when I wind up this observation,, o) i: r; J z" j- X
It ends. |
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