 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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% w( _" j+ [; F& RLet's face it: {, e4 V2 V* y: p j* }" v
English is a stupid language.
7 y: ?2 b2 ]$ d2 AThere is no egg in the eggplant, \; ^6 G' u: q/ T6 u
No ham in the hamburger: ~- J* K; l5 i; v% M3 b7 r; h
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.0 s0 U0 z' U5 w' \: M
English muffins were not invented in England
M4 U' J8 t- j6 T; s: y! ^# ^French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted" O# t5 Q# v& m" \, S: q9 p; _
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that6 ]" o I' a, z9 M9 A1 u. t* y' r! X1 M
Quicksand takes you down slowly# X. m; c8 l* R8 \/ I6 I$ E& f+ S
Boxing rings are square
+ t7 w# j+ L. C& r- m2 ^% l4 W0 cAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. & P) x/ H# @6 c* ^' l6 j
, i( M5 m, }7 T* R7 u0 T4 gIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.& `: c4 P- h2 E, x/ j1 W, V
If the plural of tooth is teeth) i7 X2 |2 a: @
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth) O% m3 k8 \+ R- u% \) A! t
If the teacher taught,+ |" Q: d! m) p, K
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables% J, i9 l! w: b
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?9 M! i: B4 B5 I* b# e5 J
Why do people recite at a play% f& ~( I; p$ l' q! v8 {
Yet play at a recital?
" _' Z4 ?& h& ^) m9 P! o( _9 BPark on driveways and1 S; k, v5 A' J. ]9 j* D# N
Drive on parkways9 l$ `( [, c# K# y. h; _, C
4 }! ^. H. R' {& CYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
/ M6 G, H2 h8 o% b7 ^0 G( a$ jOf a language where a house can burn up as
0 I; G% V j0 j9 }It burns down
0 ~ K {" _1 \9 WAnd in which you fill in a form
5 v6 u" Q" W$ D8 j/ r" y) OBy filling it out6 `8 a& d1 r" ]# u( j- H4 ~$ z# y
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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6 c3 G; @/ K) m: c+ \English was invented by people, not computers
! L: j. [+ o! T+ a5 O# Z1 eAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
, U: B: U' z. p0 i" v0 Q. ^(Which of course isn't a race at all)& p5 S. Z0 F/ p7 @6 ]+ S
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That is why
; A: Q3 g( P1 {" f9 I7 jWhen the stars are out they are visible
1 b# S3 Q U& q" o* BBut when the lights are out they are invisible5 n$ D& D9 c/ [0 V
And why it is that when I wind up my watch* h& L' Y5 L! z# V* |
It starts/ _; N# Z; h# b$ w2 }0 x
But when I wind up this observation,
* z' R& l) g: b9 L/ m* _$ rIt ends. |
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