Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language? 1 {' u' r# a6 N- G% x- s: C& p4 W9 z & b% `- J6 R) u$ HLet's face it % P c7 S$ v- Y8 m4 C* h+ HEnglish is a stupid language. 9 X3 G. c$ K& a$ N+ ?7 \There is no egg in the eggplant 7 z- i, F5 S& R: tNo ham in the hamburger 1 r' r5 v& ~* v! `2 T# @! kAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. * D8 o1 N4 u; D0 L5 uEnglish muffins were not invented in England + M4 }+ ^5 h3 ~6 C, U+ r5 ?: YFrench fries were not invented in France. $ R6 c0 Z6 A# t! q& |4 G; b ; M* H; G) @# M# b: q% YWe sometimes take English for granted 2 B7 `! F. R |9 h% ]But if we examine its paradoxes we find that 6 v+ E% b, X8 D2 v2 {8 b* aQuicksand takes you down slowly: V \- l7 H$ E0 M# Y2 k3 t/ b# b
Boxing rings are square " l8 y6 X" u" `: X& I! {+ Y3 IAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 7 H! g m7 H( q2 r* I8 D4 `9 u, z% ^1 h0 P v
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.; r7 A7 l5 Q/ f! R" G* i d# n
If the plural of tooth is teeth" N$ ?: ~ p( @) I0 Z
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- o3 O e) z7 L5 U# Y5 W% ]
If the teacher taught, 3 Q! p" i3 r9 F3 `Why didn't the preacher praught. 9 O/ {$ ?7 Z3 z) a* c) r4 L% |1 n6 W# w# S% W C
If a vegetarian eats vegetables+ D" g* u9 F7 O# h3 g
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!? ( s# n8 O' z5 k J' MWhy do people recite at a play . V, x7 [/ Z7 Y MYet play at a recital?0 d# s, W* u3 Q# J. a6 h% o
Park on driveways and$ ]: m3 i* I1 T
Drive on parkways2 t2 o- s1 S+ X; b$ i2 o9 S$ s
2 p. H& K% D. c
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy 3 z! [5 V6 `' _' T: pOf a language where a house can burn up as , Q* z! @) H- l5 g* x) AIt burns down: U% B" u0 Q3 O3 Z" y
And in which you fill in a form 7 ^+ ~2 C5 E1 {+ P0 DBy filling it out / i5 |# {8 ~8 p kAnd a bell is only heard once it goes! 1 e7 [3 S3 j0 i. O( a, x* q/ a " i" a: Y" w# L1 G7 b6 IEnglish was invented by people, not computers3 ]6 b3 F/ f: N. \$ ~# ~
And it reflects the creativity of the human race0 K. q: }$ A- ?% u9 z9 O$ o
(Which of course isn't a race at all) + J4 h9 @3 |4 L* H. S/ l$ ? " E1 t. u6 x/ K: [That is why+ n$ d7 d- x& P" P
When the stars are out they are visible9 q5 j% @% _% h Y+ w" K1 K: U
But when the lights are out they are invisible% _; [4 ]6 j4 m7 G
And why it is that when I wind up my watch4 l3 a3 j* g5 k3 j
It starts " J |) p* @6 o) U% }* d9 F& @ K$ ?5 rBut when I wind up this observation,: T. ]& E6 b4 ^1 i3 y
It ends.
我看了几行,就看不下去了.4 w. v# y b% ]! R
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维. - g6 P' q- i( i. [1 E2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.% n0 r) u! `- n0 k9 g9 x
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.6 b1 C; t$ _1 A
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达. V. q' M6 x7 a7 c: a
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.