 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?1 r2 N& `% V" ?; m9 U$ \; j
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Let's face it
7 ~- W" j: v3 L& `English is a stupid language., J" n5 }, @4 |9 W
There is no egg in the eggplant
& O! E- u+ f) Y' `No ham in the hamburger0 f5 F% [2 W$ [2 m, u" d
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
7 |# F; A; v \) WEnglish muffins were not invented in England' |+ o! W9 x# p, c" n5 q
French fries were not invented in France.% ], Y7 s8 x! j% l$ F' J" K+ m
- z0 {$ I3 Q, ~2 mWe sometimes take English for granted6 ?/ R5 P: X" |2 @& o
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that0 X) n* p% l# m" C k6 c
Quicksand takes you down slowly1 e0 v$ h! t/ j. S) i
Boxing rings are square
. Q9 G9 i( z/ T8 ^And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 3 k. c% x& C2 ^" M3 h; k) z4 |
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
6 z, z* a z5 z9 [5 c" e: x, m6 lIf the plural of tooth is teeth$ w" ^* b' ~* ?
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
2 @0 C& O7 g& t5 E* ^, wIf the teacher taught,
2 O# b3 N# R' N( @$ O' r( I8 w+ HWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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1 A! w0 |' n" fIf a vegetarian eats vegetables$ c- H- h% r' Q t" J
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
8 O/ x" ~* b2 t7 C, G9 gWhy do people recite at a play, i3 T4 j* T% W" C$ e& K3 g
Yet play at a recital?
7 ]* N8 r1 M `9 i$ C4 u3 UPark on driveways and
2 J8 t1 `1 W8 x; A- Y: ADrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
. C; E* P `0 W4 Y+ [" FOf a language where a house can burn up as
; b' }' `: f! X& [4 b4 N aIt burns down
, ]: u6 \7 E, u3 V- wAnd in which you fill in a form 5 J# \! L" J7 r; s Y+ Z
By filling it out
5 H0 b. O: U! J, o. n/ W+ ]+ L: Z: `And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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$ W# \1 |; J$ l- eEnglish was invented by people, not computers
) J& V# Z, k- W$ E* L) o& u" OAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race# H. b6 n/ ^4 M
(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 T7 E: ?2 f: x, H5 B1 j
. S' \& [% s E g/ J3 N- F& r! N. A. SThat is why7 v- `4 T& [: D: O* R2 v8 f
When the stars are out they are visible
$ H* q/ x0 z- U7 T1 PBut when the lights are out they are invisible
^& h; X' h2 J/ r: I& q: {And why it is that when I wind up my watch
: s$ e- i: K4 K! Z. C rIt starts
6 @5 y, r5 b; c! _; O5 _But when I wind up this observation,
- a: B, r. F m- C {It ends. |
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