 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?2 c8 q K& q5 V4 b+ s. K4 I4 M
6 E5 i( H0 o! G8 Y4 eLet's face it: x) ~) u9 _9 E' Q5 _
English is a stupid language. L" m5 m2 @; }$ ?
There is no egg in the eggplant1 o; @4 w0 A) m7 a
No ham in the hamburger
) _8 {( b3 s$ X# w4 N! S' uAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.$ y: S1 j7 K5 |7 E6 c! ~
English muffins were not invented in England
9 h) b. W# e; p9 N+ ]! }, \' HFrench fries were not invented in France.$ I6 s, h9 x% F4 V
. ^, e& W2 c" e
We sometimes take English for granted
& W" y; k; C% d0 s" O! ?6 M! vBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
$ {) i q# \ @" u$ hQuicksand takes you down slowly& t& }5 C) v2 \4 x) \
Boxing rings are square' K2 [! A) R9 |3 W4 {1 k3 _ v
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. % X! ]' q" a5 H. a
5 w7 p& j+ n2 }" P; P, zIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
" d# ]* e; n8 q# M, I7 e6 v% c G7 kIf the plural of tooth is teeth
8 a- a$ b n9 Z" j3 u" a( O/ ~Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth2 L4 M8 T) ?- _) B g* K9 _
If the teacher taught,0 i( |2 k Q: o
Why didn't the preacher praught.
) T3 j3 y- I0 {- s
2 P! v% G) ~, X9 N/ i: y# v. n2 e% @If a vegetarian eats vegetables: B: B4 c0 r6 ^3 @, n
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
+ d9 P, p0 t' @8 U XWhy do people recite at a play
; w. U F: u5 o0 a$ w# d! YYet play at a recital?" Z' J" s0 _1 c4 X8 y
Park on driveways and
) V. Q7 W5 ^+ wDrive on parkways
3 _; d! {6 w/ I E. G6 f7 H3 {/ q0 Z9 \
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy1 Z4 p, X3 s% k% [ I$ e0 b" g
Of a language where a house can burn up as
0 a6 Z' W5 u# C. Y0 g% ~It burns down! } X; _0 c) V+ }) w( C& [
And in which you fill in a form
& ]6 \; N7 ~% c# OBy filling it out
6 i, s& h t! SAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
. }3 u! V' d% c) N4 E- i4 [, @5 F# ~
English was invented by people, not computers
( r# p* y! j; W; Z9 f( t" fAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race8 c4 L' ]' O7 U3 H1 x; h
(Which of course isn't a race at all)5 o% Z' b0 G5 w; w0 n
n: e0 `+ _+ B' t' Z& WThat is why6 C& `# y: y+ f+ z8 C+ N% v
When the stars are out they are visible! u7 S4 W& W3 A4 A. b% j
But when the lights are out they are invisible
$ r) v7 T; g' L, WAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch7 G: r" o# s/ x. {
It starts% \, b' K4 ^+ |: h, x
But when I wind up this observation,! J1 R; m& ~; {4 h1 Q# [
It ends. |
|