 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
- `- I/ Y9 E+ z. D" b! W" }
4 n! @. b0 E# J; tLet's face it
7 d# F3 n+ v! ]+ e9 lEnglish is a stupid language.& A& T) ]% K6 y/ a$ q: ?
There is no egg in the eggplant
$ Z- \" J |$ J2 t+ ANo ham in the hamburger% ]4 i! N& e& O
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
0 X4 O9 C" d7 O: J2 L7 AEnglish muffins were not invented in England
8 o- P# ]) G% mFrench fries were not invented in France.- _, }% S q0 K+ L5 r
% S2 V% ~3 @* s8 {7 K5 z1 P! V
We sometimes take English for granted
+ `; s8 v; |6 `# t& lBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that, O6 }. L4 s) F7 `, F3 Q
Quicksand takes you down slowly' T u' m# p/ L" u# `: r
Boxing rings are square
0 P. H2 D/ J. j: a7 d/ c5 f' _And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
" \/ @ y$ D1 N2 O ?4 Z& J2 `3 M
3 Z4 Y [; p: w+ GIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
; O) J3 M6 u+ n$ f" Q; E+ ^If the plural of tooth is teeth
5 g* A: m# q+ A9 hShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- P7 H1 ^+ R% f' w5 L
If the teacher taught,. U5 H* j* f2 Q5 _9 F# M
Why didn't the preacher praught.
9 T: G# n4 ^. q. k
) `5 f* v5 ^% L' w1 ]; NIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
r# }) y* D4 d5 ~* c6 HWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
; e3 M8 ] g6 k' pWhy do people recite at a play, d8 |* x5 M$ y4 m+ @
Yet play at a recital?2 q+ M, {6 @8 a2 L1 K9 \, w
Park on driveways and
( K# ^! p7 |8 u; j( u! o% r' [Drive on parkways3 x7 A4 S; x6 N' l2 {5 \: M
. j, `4 V2 i# `- ~" v+ ^
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
& X, W* _% p3 G4 J8 S/ A# sOf a language where a house can burn up as
6 `# Q1 @1 J" zIt burns down2 t( F+ a/ U2 ~
And in which you fill in a form
' @, i% ?+ J1 T7 eBy filling it out
) f- ?$ z4 E" T7 PAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!' [+ A. k/ O+ S
m2 F) ` t7 l5 p& u NEnglish was invented by people, not computers* p4 j+ k1 @8 F& G
And it reflects the creativity of the human race. J0 B0 W0 ]5 v9 b% F/ @3 D: `
(Which of course isn't a race at all) l& f C, k8 z1 b% [8 z/ j
4 m7 q/ e& T- F9 K1 xThat is why
9 q; u1 ]! h- U vWhen the stars are out they are visible& g+ R7 @1 ~7 G! n1 H2 H5 U5 u5 f' W5 |
But when the lights are out they are invisible
( N, |* Z. Y* R) E, f- xAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch1 K/ Z6 Q4 b+ ?; ?
It starts
1 l4 s8 E% `) h- r8 x6 ?& H% HBut when I wind up this observation,
1 C& K1 P) q5 o' x7 _" A V# }It ends. |
|