 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?# q1 d+ w9 o4 q2 S6 U, V
. Z) a; ^) ~. fLet's face it
! f! _7 ]- o/ g. Z( B# i8 k2 R" @English is a stupid language.+ B! F; Z; L# L5 |; g
There is no egg in the eggplant% Q; Q( d* Y$ P$ A4 G) u& L
No ham in the hamburger( h! T/ a+ }* f
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
* I- ^6 O( D3 nEnglish muffins were not invented in England
8 ]* C" ]2 i$ rFrench fries were not invented in France.6 T9 P, B/ h- Q, a' \: r0 s" c
8 ~8 C4 M; E, D8 K8 c& N8 rWe sometimes take English for granted0 o8 T7 o; w+ o* w* Y" Q, p
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that! g6 |9 N4 h0 p, k9 ` J' ^* z: l# | `
Quicksand takes you down slowly1 [! _% j4 e+ x! O- [" _/ c2 l
Boxing rings are square/ h) }9 S* D7 f9 }; ? |6 O9 c
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
: T+ N# Y+ B% x/ `If the plural of tooth is teeth
/ q0 g! P: t5 LShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
2 w' J4 H% @5 ]; e7 ?' cIf the teacher taught,
: m. \3 m1 A, N9 g8 j! QWhy didn't the preacher praught.) g* F- C; ^" r" B( T* m8 j
* p7 P8 y5 x2 O6 f) `5 IIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
0 ] c# R) \9 ^. RWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!? P- O& W! }9 o' K" v
Why do people recite at a play
, u n0 I& w) D! [' {0 {Yet play at a recital?2 `0 P4 u$ |5 Z" K" K
Park on driveways and
! n& {2 h g6 R' Z: i( jDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
* V! x2 s* p( W$ U2 Y# S. z) ]1 \Of a language where a house can burn up as
$ D1 Z! i$ y6 v, {" P7 hIt burns down
3 m' J5 r$ E: Y! P \2 lAnd in which you fill in a form 3 l7 F9 ^5 T1 S* b; ?
By filling it out
! s% {, v1 `( z; z- U& ~And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
t' A* a5 l9 C! g% {And it reflects the creativity of the human race6 j% z. q% A) z* y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
* J, L5 V' R$ Q9 i$ J# yWhen the stars are out they are visible
8 @$ q; W: u7 }& d( C6 UBut when the lights are out they are invisible
6 L$ H, ?5 k0 _+ Q9 V3 n) a$ |' iAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch, g0 M. U& Y5 v' S) i
It starts
: \- E* i! Y4 I8 aBut when I wind up this observation,
$ ]* Z" }; W! hIt ends. |
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