 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?0 o$ i) `2 @. I2 ?7 V: _
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Let's face it
% j& v( |; A1 h7 p( u- n3 vEnglish is a stupid language.4 p5 N" c1 l$ a5 E: `; c; J9 P3 r
There is no egg in the eggplant2 v- P. h* N }0 y
No ham in the hamburger. z4 a+ g$ Q2 Q! R7 ]5 e
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.5 E; S. F0 s) E9 ?' c5 k
English muffins were not invented in England
0 G! [" H6 ?4 n- WFrench fries were not invented in France.& I" L0 l2 r* v5 k, J' l; d
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We sometimes take English for granted
+ K1 ~- \" C" KBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that% [) O* i1 ~( ^. X
Quicksand takes you down slowly" Z" M# {+ m c7 z. n+ o
Boxing rings are square3 T1 ]1 X0 W/ U% I0 p5 F1 K2 N! x
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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0 o V6 ]: P5 L* G( X# xIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
) t$ j( ?% D3 a1 W0 v. r a, x0 xIf the plural of tooth is teeth$ {8 f. }" @5 O. v+ g' x, y, k
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 G o% |1 \! V5 ]: _If the teacher taught,5 h1 a0 r1 Z- y- z
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables( q# Y* E9 M& I w4 M+ j
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
|8 M( Y* w6 e) R( {) hWhy do people recite at a play8 m) J6 x" T: S. Z8 H" N
Yet play at a recital?/ g2 K/ }9 b' {2 s! _1 G2 e
Park on driveways and
" a% I* z: Z$ q/ I* t1 O& x+ YDrive on parkways
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& ?1 y9 {/ J% W4 DYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
% u* X1 C/ |; G7 k. xOf a language where a house can burn up as
2 v3 \+ Q0 M& i P+ w: T6 xIt burns down
' z" L1 @+ ]: a4 Q9 S, eAnd in which you fill in a form
- c W. T8 G; r( N) `By filling it out
* B4 f3 ?; {% M4 ^And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers/ Q9 ~0 k. E, l Q
And it reflects the creativity of the human race) K) ~4 X: d( D% `- L) o a
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why b0 x, n, S% H6 e$ c x& f
When the stars are out they are visible
2 O: X1 Y1 p( H, J9 z" m) dBut when the lights are out they are invisible
4 ?8 B# v$ c0 H W& c3 NAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
8 B; S+ F8 p$ |7 J. |+ u g5 }It starts! V" @$ ` p- l0 J9 w! i
But when I wind up this observation,
4 z ~5 F# d! _* |8 K7 @It ends. |
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