English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
% {  l3 R5 w5 ~: F0 l8 {" sNo ham in the hamburger
5 n( z! c4 ^- fAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
" }0 ]' x. D! t3 nFrench fries were not invented in France.
5 J8 \0 I+ |  l3 y+ ~/ @
% J- V. K% J( yWe sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, L, w1 X4 \& c3 RQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
4 ]6 s# L& E4 N% r8 {8 VAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
9 g; w5 J. H; u- i, K6 M. G
& l! H  {0 L9 YIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
0 l# }4 O  @( d1 v5 a( pIf the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 D2 I4 |8 J: X5 [3 `" LIf the teacher taught,
( [- \# [; _4 p5 C! X* OWhy didn't the preacher praught.
4 C+ T8 ~& X4 n# M# R6 K
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
8 N9 a' z/ o# KDrive on parkways
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" ?$ C9 N2 W: Q5 r* K8 d- p1 l; s; xYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
% ^  R0 i: r% k3 [5 L% s4 p0 i: jIt burns down
$ u% B1 F' \6 l2 g  h$ s3 }2 TAnd in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
. X& @4 q' ]1 e$ l! JAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
* Y5 [3 k; h3 h( n- V(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
7 y; [7 w5 r* J( c* t- B  BWhen the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
0 l) c% N1 d; [2 j6 TIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
$ A1 p# M3 O7 D% @2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
& u  j4 Q7 h& y$ m9 s6 D' L3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
) X$ a8 E) _! t! A  b5 b8 M" O我看了几行,就看不下去了.
: O( e1 b7 q8 H$ H1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

7 N8 X& X+ N) X" |0 u6 T" x* O( s谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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