English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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# m( ^( ?+ h& \- J& M4 }4 P+ b  dLet's face it
; }( `7 y  u- q$ QEnglish is a stupid language.
1 w& Q* H% e3 l$ T2 {4 }( i1 oThere is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
% _$ L- d1 {4 {6 E  x/ b# q. AEnglish muffins were not invented in England
) x4 m: d5 U6 ?; j, D- a: [5 A8 ^French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
* ^0 `3 m& G9 d: H( {. HBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
6 N3 m0 {5 W  aQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
2 }! ~0 ~0 n- P# rAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
: E9 @  y5 _$ k# U7 p+ ]( ~) {7 cIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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# N7 o) B+ X2 |' u! IIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
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5 b1 e  R* K6 jYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
) s8 ^% V; l) Z6 P$ xBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
# e% c8 x0 {* W6 x(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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3 {0 K  f4 x7 r& UThat is why
When the stars are out they are visible
! R( l* @1 r( {. wBut when the lights are out they are invisible
4 r- D0 K* o" n( k$ b% \2 r0 |7 HAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
: P! A( d+ ?- P1 n5 I8 MIt starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
) F  w; v( t4 F; m8 }7 o  X1 D1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
4 ?. N; n' ~, a: m- I! w* |3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
' P  y' O- j0 V+ d  l" i1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
- F: r% p* E% e$ X2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

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1 I+ s: K  a3 a( a+ G1 v* G谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
/ O0 l9 E9 y9 L: u" Q5 T实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

abcd460

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沃索拉呐

说得不错，有收获，顶一下

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: z6 l  k9 F8 G5 B" q2 a& }7 l: r: R  一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药处一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！
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