English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
3 |: ~1 m0 i9 `6 F  V/ @
Let's face it
: j" D! l) c0 O5 {6 v; |4 j" ~9 Q  vEnglish is a stupid language.
% m+ `' C- d0 Z4 nThere is no egg in the eggplant
7 O9 W! n4 ~/ ]No ham in the hamburger
8 e: ^* X0 x- p/ T2 a2 c- h3 _1 lAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
3 a+ C* y+ E+ l4 [, ^English muffins were not invented in England
) }8 P2 C# a( K$ uFrench fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
1 s7 j6 s/ {$ {" {But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
9 [4 |7 x4 G/ ^Quicksand takes you down slowly
" {0 L; x7 q* x- b1 PBoxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
2 v. R. C9 }3 T; k* w7 w
$ |5 |% y  ~, m1 Z/ w9 ZIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
5 Q" C  k/ x, U& d  q5 \Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
+ s! k/ ]% g9 w3 @If the teacher taught,
3 a$ }" Q$ E; c/ K# B( KWhy didn't the preacher praught.
- f. R! U6 b5 |4 p$ j
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
; l( w  ?8 ^$ E4 F) aWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
& C- c" X- \" V& Q7 I8 \% o- [4 SYet play at a recital?
& {: U* q/ n5 M# b+ L+ }6 s) ?Park on driveways and
# e1 c8 ]' d$ P2 P4 |Drive on parkways
% B. ?: y# m! ^5 N% Y$ N
1 @2 B; S& U6 x* @. e, wYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 Q) |; r6 k% w+ f+ r3 VOf a language where a house can burn up as
1 ?- _2 S7 l' ^* ?It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
! V& h" |1 n. o' I: RBy filling it out
+ l" o, p. _; b# U7 lAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
3 e3 o' x$ ~$ J$ `9 TAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
; p% H* @# e/ ?3 J0 ](Which of course isn't a race at all)

7 m4 y8 e& P' \% ]9 q/ J- S/ l: h1 H! fThat is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
$ L6 U, l. w  s  Q/ [8 p; rAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1 M3 t' o& b! U" i# R1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
% t$ P3 C* T# n* f0 `' |, H4 s0 ]9 k4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
  r! O, r2 X. B$ |其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
% }; T2 C* G" }) \我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
$ M, Y5 Q7 P# P4 o7 w0 k4 W, w2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

' S- Y$ B# F1 p; [: ]
: b/ v8 V6 @' V2 D+ e. a3 ~# v谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
( J  H* b0 ~6 h+ W1 c  _实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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