 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
& X# i5 v3 l6 R8 @2 c
5 o; J0 _: |( l$ G9 j1 s& NLet's face it* Q5 H! f0 E) x8 m& K2 P' M8 l0 E
English is a stupid language.$ t6 G# v' Q7 D& a, T: E
There is no egg in the eggplant% S+ ~, v7 E0 U2 E
No ham in the hamburger
: J" I X5 X) l8 ~; U" r# o BAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.: C' I4 m9 Y8 H4 ? i% j, V* D
English muffins were not invented in England
# N& J \2 ~ w( g+ v- yFrench fries were not invented in France.0 v/ u+ m. S0 ?8 z
2 D* p0 C. {7 J+ q% A4 B9 c; @
We sometimes take English for granted0 M2 ^$ C. q a3 |+ @0 g
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that+ H; T1 W9 E- ?
Quicksand takes you down slowly
$ Y U. d( ]. H$ A2 `7 P$ F5 ^: tBoxing rings are square: Z* F0 g% \* w8 ` H. |
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ( w$ _- w% A( p* h L+ l: r( a l
n% I: A6 o. k3 d3 F$ v
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.4 m& O L3 H4 o# @& K9 Z7 a
If the plural of tooth is teeth
# y* A, b: G# g/ U7 P" [" UShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
+ I* A9 T7 Y: X0 qIf the teacher taught,
- \4 D( c! N4 v( a- H* DWhy didn't the preacher praught.
9 n( G" N+ f% a, D5 L% S
7 S: W2 w' y, u4 L! p8 p( uIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
, ^# Z0 p4 U5 h" y, {What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?" a# x6 p* O& c5 S- l; _
Why do people recite at a play, x! {% A5 D% a
Yet play at a recital?
9 }- f2 l1 Y2 _* {Park on driveways and1 F: k& }) q# u9 T' ^
Drive on parkways* H) n% N* U, ^6 X b( S. T
; k1 E7 ~( x$ |, w& IYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy; O1 Y2 Q* V+ ?1 h3 ^8 }
Of a language where a house can burn up as1 w% h% U1 ~6 u) J B, ^$ _
It burns down+ R( P' p$ H" g8 d0 p) }8 B7 ~
And in which you fill in a form
$ M. d$ s6 [4 ^By filling it out/ L& |1 d, q7 I. p) b
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
3 x* E% T# X8 I( z, v
: s% U/ ?) C, KEnglish was invented by people, not computers) C+ N: k) w5 l8 x3 p7 O2 \) O
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
5 u( g' {# ^$ x/ ^8 \3 E- h4 T(Which of course isn't a race at all)
6 `/ x# [ T9 R$ V1 }
! _( y2 K+ S1 MThat is why0 ?0 ^+ X1 Y# w
When the stars are out they are visible
0 d( y5 ^9 @7 d! v9 v" X' U3 Z( `: iBut when the lights are out they are invisible4 m) D/ `; c6 A' y& O
And why it is that when I wind up my watch" B0 b- S, M1 l9 D: Y% t- C q1 [
It starts
- f" a C. K: Z* Y# J9 uBut when I wind up this observation,
; H" @0 t; J# V9 m- dIt ends. |
|