 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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$ D5 Y( Y, ~' K; b- X0 S. s4 gLet's face it
8 V( U/ |+ i/ L9 QEnglish is a stupid language.* n7 O# U- v, G6 G$ o" V5 [2 `* i
There is no egg in the eggplant
8 y/ G' E/ a) P; d- \2 _No ham in the hamburger
, v9 Y% ?- _% e- t: NAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.- o: E0 U" _+ _/ d& X+ S
English muffins were not invented in England
9 e$ X0 B& p% cFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted% W! t! {. r7 y! ]3 R" `1 o
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
; i, V5 |; }1 l o% VQuicksand takes you down slowly8 a$ \% N# l- q6 m( W) h1 A k3 [
Boxing rings are square
: ]3 @9 @: n# r% oAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. " b, r4 L& D7 x3 L! v1 B; s3 D
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
0 l# j# A8 o) j& `# h: j. _. vIf the plural of tooth is teeth
9 M, l, [- |5 F' Q: SShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth; Y$ K8 f6 `' _. @
If the teacher taught,2 [ G- G. J7 o+ d
Why didn't the preacher praught., X. v' s5 ^( k+ A, Y: f/ `4 G N
' l% c* J/ L5 F0 t$ f0 Y1 zIf a vegetarian eats vegetables( [ b! Z2 k; ^. |: k, U5 u
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
+ ~3 r9 R, [3 c- Z0 U0 yWhy do people recite at a play
5 @/ w5 Z. \/ O( x# _& AYet play at a recital?2 p: Y" V: K# r5 a9 @: x3 w$ _
Park on driveways and8 [) u/ w, r2 m+ V3 k
Drive on parkways0 i' p* g0 y4 z
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
) l9 R$ O% b1 m" {# f, TOf a language where a house can burn up as1 X2 p2 T, `8 O S5 l Y- x
It burns down. n* m/ o ?3 W1 y1 p
And in which you fill in a form # S/ k3 `6 D; c/ O$ r
By filling it out
" E; ~' j- S# o. @5 ~. xAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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4 j/ _" j5 s# C, S; ` gEnglish was invented by people, not computers
9 i2 r' k& A5 S- L! h3 {/ bAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race9 u4 W' ?9 L1 x2 N1 t- w. X8 p
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
* v0 G! z+ \ I' U$ y+ v6 y) LWhen the stars are out they are visible
$ H: x% E6 W! oBut when the lights are out they are invisible
" X C' u" p f+ ?+ X+ Y* JAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
5 k& \" y, T4 ` `4 `1 s wIt starts( i! L7 m- ?. }
But when I wind up this observation,( T! M7 L" g& v& k- V
It ends. |
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