 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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- J3 j3 j* Z! x" DLet's face it
( G6 P" S' a# x9 U4 o4 {English is a stupid language.
" X1 Y2 d/ o2 lThere is no egg in the eggplant
J1 J, J# X: o9 b$ \0 ]3 {9 SNo ham in the hamburger1 y: g$ T: p& {" b# P4 e" V9 b
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
# j5 ?0 }/ {& h' o: sEnglish muffins were not invented in England
8 a m- _+ B( r. EFrench fries were not invented in France.8 [: j- t& g# X+ b+ |) p* Z
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We sometimes take English for granted. ~/ X2 k( ?; y% t# y; K# p0 M* g
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
* ^; w! W% i y6 U/ m$ o, yQuicksand takes you down slowly5 `1 _: d4 s2 f1 _5 y$ R7 z
Boxing rings are square' _- U) Y8 D4 s' o5 Z. l
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. d- O4 w4 Q7 e6 `. O
If the plural of tooth is teeth) A, e* d. F/ F5 J# N8 L3 M$ x! r2 E
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
& b- t2 C& F& @# |If the teacher taught,
y3 C6 ?% N' s7 E, [Why didn't the preacher praught.
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! v0 s$ k$ D. v2 f, g! h2 B- j! h% |If a vegetarian eats vegetables
/ i( p/ V) f6 u1 JWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
: x8 r6 S+ d0 a6 v6 T- OWhy do people recite at a play) C; [( Z4 A9 ?" C! t
Yet play at a recital?
, g1 q3 J) Z9 v, O* x8 T/ MPark on driveways and- S5 p0 p; ]$ H3 D) c: V% r
Drive on parkways
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\9 p. `) |. N0 _6 d) Y" W8 }2 S+ g3 eYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy- q8 U9 ]$ T7 a/ h$ C
Of a language where a house can burn up as3 O2 W0 F- r0 u5 q4 p, ]
It burns down
6 H2 B2 d K- S7 V6 P" G: xAnd in which you fill in a form / E8 t+ ?& M1 k- G! q. ?/ T6 l
By filling it out3 J3 z3 U' _4 P G
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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" I ~% x' V6 q& g$ i7 @( lEnglish was invented by people, not computers
$ `: g t" r; r0 P, c3 O8 `+ L- qAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
, Y! Q+ [2 f$ I2 q3 y; v! {(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
7 G A( r/ X9 vWhen the stars are out they are visible. M/ w# g6 n' ]
But when the lights are out they are invisible
; Y/ l9 n( |& `# C* w2 O4 eAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch1 ~5 p. m0 _6 {5 W% ~% t4 u) @3 S
It starts
2 `3 [& {; l; b* H. XBut when I wind up this observation,
" L4 H5 J# L) u$ T5 U/ sIt ends. |
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