 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it$ O5 u( A+ @4 A1 l4 s
English is a stupid language.) G) \0 c0 v+ K
There is no egg in the eggplant
* O) r+ N: l# W3 S0 U6 _No ham in the hamburger! S+ k9 g0 w8 G- Z4 g
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.# P( d" U2 x; U, _9 C
English muffins were not invented in England
1 q" \$ ?, g% K7 jFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
* W! m4 U5 {5 Q4 b$ E) E0 `But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
$ A1 \3 C# J1 z! t4 X2 W; U2 UQuicksand takes you down slowly* V6 p6 u( V+ N8 `
Boxing rings are square
3 S7 X7 c7 ]4 n$ z |. e8 tAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.( T6 i# W# q `7 f+ M
If the plural of tooth is teeth
5 y9 X. i( T% p/ s1 Y; CShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
2 n; F' |* y7 ?If the teacher taught,
! l d* f, R8 P# J. JWhy didn't the preacher praught.3 D/ J" t5 g- v* f9 m4 Z; ~: [1 ^
4 h: Y/ a! S# K0 ^1 R7 q; Z4 eIf a vegetarian eats vegetables& G( K& D5 ]7 c5 o
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?$ |7 O6 o0 n( [: i; l0 c" C7 u
Why do people recite at a play0 ?. v/ X R( N. E F' E, y! S
Yet play at a recital?
& D9 T4 }( X$ r" y+ ^* i9 ePark on driveways and" C3 z+ U1 O# D* N# E. Q
Drive on parkways1 Y6 R8 z3 y0 Y
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
/ ?* k- T' w3 q% `( |! ^Of a language where a house can burn up as
+ E: s: w; E w# X" PIt burns down
. |1 f W- T+ Q0 t3 l5 x& dAnd in which you fill in a form 6 r |/ U, R3 \0 u
By filling it out
3 _) _8 e! [5 L5 {7 I+ a" ~, gAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers- {8 ~9 O0 D% h' B& O& `, S
And it reflects the creativity of the human race) C" ^" Q% B; I6 n$ Y4 b5 m$ i
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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' N2 N* S4 k. [& IThat is why) v% ?& U2 r' @- B
When the stars are out they are visible+ `7 }9 G0 l! P& Q6 q3 Q
But when the lights are out they are invisible& w3 Z9 `1 n) G4 H- o
And why it is that when I wind up my watch4 u& \* Q1 N, _( ~% @/ o
It starts
6 Q: B- A! p' D+ M! F& j) mBut when I wind up this observation,
7 L5 I3 H6 g* q4 G/ b" l* k m# FIt ends. |
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