English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
  ~  S$ O! ?; s9 p) F1 v6 NThere is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
, O# ~* ^8 g+ MEnglish muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
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3 C% v  l* e- F6 K0 o, QWe sometimes take English for granted
" f7 T2 P7 s/ s: q3 l/ k& WBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
/ \2 T& p- w& @+ Q3 J' Q9 CQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
$ {- b. I. Q) L9 D- k- zAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
7 j: g& c1 C9 D( O1 ~& RIf the plural of tooth is teeth
3 H' Z4 M4 }* R$ [5 q' g6 \Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
( @& Z% A; q! N' u' O) E6 {' SWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
& V  w7 Q! G+ X5 X" uPark on driveways and
3 S8 N8 y6 A3 S. k) WDrive on parkways
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2 D; [: i% j' O. J0 q& K7 kYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
/ l5 V- K- M  d5 ?/ AOf a language where a house can burn up as
5 \/ s& n  t# FIt burns down
: A" @8 p, V7 ?And in which you fill in a form
1 I$ y; h( D; }2 J0 \8 _) S, x6 QBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

5 V! W# F4 v: |$ i+ {$ eEnglish was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
( o  j& T6 Q& D. v5 [When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
( _3 l6 ~2 i: a; W+ W* K9 e# j% B* jIt starts
  l/ S& s+ L9 a6 rBut when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
" p1 j+ \0 y' K7 o8 \其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
% T4 m+ a- m) v  ]$ N. n我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
4 Q7 B1 j1 m0 s3 L  s$ ~6 m, U8 [2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

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/ D2 c9 B- p- F+ P7 z谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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