 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?* @+ A2 M1 S. q N P; A
6 b% p3 p$ }% ILet's face it
( ]* k: p. K0 _ Z* g" BEnglish is a stupid language.
. `% I* d+ G+ D% @4 ?; L9 FThere is no egg in the eggplant7 I5 N) ^$ [+ C- o% ?
No ham in the hamburger$ @# s; v1 g; Y4 u) Y6 }5 J
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.) }) p) Y s0 O
English muffins were not invented in England
/ T: P- ^9 f" uFrench fries were not invented in France.
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! a# ?* B- q- z$ p) y$ O4 s# a: ?We sometimes take English for granted
2 t7 j# r' y9 X5 |" s6 }) B- kBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
1 V! N' E4 `2 A4 B/ E2 k* fQuicksand takes you down slowly( y5 T: {% c* I- b' K+ Z1 h" U
Boxing rings are square" V& T4 n9 J. U3 [" f$ r" @( t
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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: z$ l! k ^1 \0 z' F) LIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
; A( A& P5 E, j, k$ `If the plural of tooth is teeth
( d3 s2 |4 ]' [/ X NShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
, C9 H# M$ T& R0 XIf the teacher taught,! j- x6 b, R" S# i/ h$ V# w
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
! J" H; X+ E6 gWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
" d! V( M0 b; D! a0 U$ MWhy do people recite at a play( a! S: d/ |; [8 C1 c8 a1 K
Yet play at a recital?
/ c: a9 [' F, g b0 f' DPark on driveways and8 x% c$ e. j1 S
Drive on parkways& b, v0 i" I1 \6 z% s
0 t( [6 Y( h7 K" `3 a5 `9 cYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy# ]9 Y$ ]# f' P' f2 p9 ~, D$ ^
Of a language where a house can burn up as5 u: X$ y. u9 {7 X& f; Y+ n
It burns down) ^0 e3 a8 b/ h( g: I( b z' ]5 F( G
And in which you fill in a form
. ~' m) ?. f P* mBy filling it out" v S, ~4 {3 H" i1 A
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers3 B, T! {! m# W3 h9 H
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
$ K: r: n- T; F, @+ s3 V(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ T4 s6 h7 f8 J+ ^4 A# ] m
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That is why
% |3 |- d" d$ T2 h) K3 q5 cWhen the stars are out they are visible! q8 n1 B: O8 u. g
But when the lights are out they are invisible
3 S+ _. B' p5 QAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
* ^+ }2 I1 P' X; lIt starts
6 ^/ \* h! u2 z, l& k9 lBut when I wind up this observation,+ z8 R/ I& x; U, y2 ?
It ends. |
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