 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?8 \ g& S8 \, a q4 P* f
. U8 b* o1 b. h6 m7 m# eLet's face it
) M5 J8 a/ p# \* u1 `. w! cEnglish is a stupid language.
" a* k' }% `2 @$ NThere is no egg in the eggplant' F: R0 L: L1 p ]
No ham in the hamburger
( E+ R \9 }7 P' M0 r/ h( mAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' {* _ R& O, D3 ~4 |English muffins were not invented in England$ t+ @: Y9 Y! U8 ]
French fries were not invented in France.5 F" W, p+ X) L7 F3 A% I% }9 v
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We sometimes take English for granted
+ i* E1 C3 J( R" P; BBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that7 g/ \! `* v$ T
Quicksand takes you down slowly
4 v, R0 J+ `7 v) OBoxing rings are square; l/ R; ^3 f) V. _ c
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
* l9 d9 r* B6 _" _9 v. I' tIf the plural of tooth is teeth, `. ~; { P$ p% q2 [# D: _
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
U9 W" a, w8 r* u* y8 z4 L- ?& p) S% |If the teacher taught,
$ e! S7 l) N" \. W2 ]% P6 l; M- BWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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; y4 w* ^# j$ S4 z8 ?( x% VIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 U/ M# A- g' s# UWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?, v( J K. V( e! e6 i6 g) x
Why do people recite at a play
! { d$ q0 r/ W+ _3 Q9 J' zYet play at a recital?8 `; i; n+ o+ T$ F7 ~+ ^
Park on driveways and
6 y. B# p3 n( E: f7 O: t% YDrive on parkways% q, v! X' k6 i/ k7 \& f
: D7 M+ `/ u' R, h- j- K+ F$ gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy* _# F. c; N/ d1 C4 }- H& y2 d
Of a language where a house can burn up as* k$ d0 u" h) E7 u, ?8 y
It burns down& [8 ^! M. L$ F$ |0 I$ F3 u. \
And in which you fill in a form d7 J1 u/ M4 d8 w- C+ R3 _
By filling it out
' X. T+ U1 b" L8 mAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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2 I6 r3 I- p4 ZEnglish was invented by people, not computers
1 G, e, a" }& ~- c5 PAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race$ W; E, K/ x; Q* z2 Q7 d& k
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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6 M" L+ a( Z$ @6 lThat is why6 {5 W' V- [! g: Z! M6 `- G' L
When the stars are out they are visible
& a( I1 }2 ^9 QBut when the lights are out they are invisible* O( h# l/ ~' _! g4 h" S
And why it is that when I wind up my watch, L0 @$ b8 x0 U/ a
It starts
1 z5 J7 ]. x) J4 S6 `4 |But when I wind up this observation,
' _! Y# I) s0 X: \It ends. |
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