English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
; i1 u: E8 k/ q- ?4 eThere is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
6 q( Z* U; J8 S% P* d/ ]1 W# pQuicksand takes you down slowly
0 T; u% d* H: h% }4 |* qBoxing rings are square
9 W! z0 _2 d$ G0 S! w, A6 s7 J6 _/ \And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

8 _" Z6 Y" [4 O( o+ jIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
, ]4 v8 V- S) T0 ^+ ~If the teacher taught,
2 T# G8 R$ z1 I( f' OWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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+ o: U- O. i) P8 K; H/ F# ^; |+ [If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
& }5 y  z2 c" \# yWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
( R/ c4 f- }1 g+ X3 k5 t4 oDrive on parkways

* }* m2 r/ F- i6 A. @) Y& wYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 \7 T( j5 M  w* b' ~7 h5 LOf a language where a house can burn up as
7 V8 j6 ~, ~8 s; [7 z, tIt burns down
2 M6 `7 ?' o6 Y2 k) nAnd in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
/ ~& d7 O  L* D6 O+ J/ X& |$ BAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!

9 D  P' @) t: |% y$ [English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
/ X1 C* j( ]3 Y3 f: pAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
0 ^6 H3 J( s/ [/ ]  TIt starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
1 E7 c2 O$ C6 o2 _2 t4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
! V" \& c' R) q" Q& c2 K其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

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谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

abcd460

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沃索拉呐

说得不错，有收获，顶一下
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& \) l( J6 S! a4 {: n% D: ?# r  一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药处一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！

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