 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it2 k# e! w. }3 s+ c3 s7 m$ d9 f
English is a stupid language.
7 l6 o1 c; {$ ~$ [4 v& a! k) kThere is no egg in the eggplant: y, m( F$ u; _
No ham in the hamburger% v1 }2 J% D0 T" s# A
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.4 `9 N: ~' b6 n Q
English muffins were not invented in England
0 I" _ y }7 u& \: ^# BFrench fries were not invented in France.
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/ l1 ~: b9 c% e4 a9 t4 T; JWe sometimes take English for granted# @7 `+ b, P- `# y4 s
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
3 {6 r$ Q0 N) r( L& F( JQuicksand takes you down slowly" R6 K+ w% ^" N2 [2 g8 C* X9 L
Boxing rings are square3 S* [: P9 V1 f4 O2 l. b9 ~ O
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 Y6 A6 d3 z, D( S" `
" k% m" T0 W3 O J# W KIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.: B9 h# o# B! G7 Q) N9 }4 v
If the plural of tooth is teeth
/ I3 L% c* b$ G9 l6 LShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
1 h6 h. X, O# n2 fIf the teacher taught,& I& O- B' T1 _ w. o
Why didn't the preacher praught." [4 M! H3 P# F; L
+ i# d% d+ K) @+ v" L vIf a vegetarian eats vegetables; F' B) t( Y5 B5 D4 ]
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?# M7 s, ] d- q
Why do people recite at a play
% ~' Q. M0 _! {) Z1 UYet play at a recital?
; e* F( q6 Z/ `" I0 yPark on driveways and1 x7 b2 n0 G6 V; [; r
Drive on parkways5 R: A5 j& p4 C6 [% m4 q
- L7 `& ~' p" z0 WYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 Q. |8 v( t1 S6 K4 c) h
Of a language where a house can burn up as
/ ?- N2 G8 v$ q, l8 AIt burns down" x/ [' Y& j2 t M
And in which you fill in a form : B4 p! R& _2 R
By filling it out' Q* G2 P5 y+ E U- a! m. a
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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2 F% [( Y: a9 r( _- i8 U# KEnglish was invented by people, not computers
9 o% P1 U7 z; o3 P2 nAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
0 P1 g- `* ]& r$ c5 ?* F5 f(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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, H+ E4 ?! I3 h) Q8 ~! s4 i6 {: kThat is why& c/ M# |! R- K, l3 ]
When the stars are out they are visible5 E7 l, y: |, r* a4 P2 \/ G+ c
But when the lights are out they are invisible
+ P& r& T) O; qAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch, F/ U8 X: T6 i8 `) r1 x3 p
It starts
0 o3 W. W0 a8 C! m( h( N' ?But when I wind up this observation,
1 x# F8 h+ b8 _, }It ends. |
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