 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?4 D- N6 y+ @" u! s' _$ l3 t; J
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Let's face it
0 r+ I- n2 }3 A7 z# x# D! iEnglish is a stupid language.7 T! C8 `* W) Y9 V
There is no egg in the eggplant
7 J. ]" t, Z) L8 T" UNo ham in the hamburger
U) ^5 V4 y, l5 o1 j# x% _ Z/ RAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 D) w( Y$ k8 r" `9 W3 W+ xEnglish muffins were not invented in England0 |% K% s- n) Z! s: r& z7 H
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
% t$ ?/ |) D! g0 a! D4 qBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
0 n1 |4 [2 S, \6 O% U, zQuicksand takes you down slowly
7 E7 a# L; y9 P9 D+ P6 rBoxing rings are square, G( R: M+ T/ r
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 u: J- J9 r* a0 s; A
) W4 n% X# ]$ }0 Y/ H( ^8 @If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.7 S( |: ^7 ~: f* N4 Y
If the plural of tooth is teeth
* [; w! A) [9 eShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth# K( s# d/ {- |" \% i
If the teacher taught,7 u3 E# [( _/ k1 H
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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9 s, c' d6 t) I3 y% [+ |If a vegetarian eats vegetables
. X' J' v8 W& o$ ZWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
3 k g' o! B' D7 o5 W" `Why do people recite at a play
" \9 J+ d7 m7 V. t' hYet play at a recital?
- b; Q9 |4 @) V6 i o* lPark on driveways and
- \, K( ?) O" ~8 Z$ {Drive on parkways' | Z5 w9 a3 h
2 R! \/ `: ^+ F$ mYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
" y$ ?( B. Z6 _, K6 P8 H" pOf a language where a house can burn up as5 z6 _) G! o8 A) y
It burns down% N' n! p+ D6 K
And in which you fill in a form
8 ?) p- p8 X7 sBy filling it out
2 \/ T* ~* s) E7 k oAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!6 @3 k; S9 C. S" C
( q, ?' |& {. z. TEnglish was invented by people, not computers
, _% \3 f" D1 ~! ]( oAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
# }0 ^! K" L, a K(Which of course isn't a race at all)) ^( C* |- J n# E% a
8 L. c0 M3 a2 v% `% f2 eThat is why6 u9 L' Z3 p' ^7 C. K3 [/ `
When the stars are out they are visible! n6 g$ w2 u8 M! E" P
But when the lights are out they are invisible
8 A4 [5 S. [- ?! WAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
' @, s1 P" B* ^' X( o$ G6 jIt starts
- w9 m/ R+ w: YBut when I wind up this observation,8 O5 v: F0 W. M+ a
It ends. |
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