 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it" w6 l9 v( p4 V
English is a stupid language.+ G6 Y+ C7 X @1 E
There is no egg in the eggplant
{& n: j: i. x" [. z4 P$ kNo ham in the hamburger
( l; P/ o8 |7 h! H: ^0 bAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.4 O( Y% J: D; e" A
English muffins were not invented in England
/ |4 V1 [" y- b8 u- IFrench fries were not invented in France.( v5 t% N- i/ W. k+ k
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We sometimes take English for granted
' `; K% ?' e1 iBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
0 O" X* h, I; r' w/ k2 v- d) nQuicksand takes you down slowly
$ V( F2 R1 w+ k! w0 C( H2 yBoxing rings are square
6 p& ^- |( G) `0 S5 V1 LAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.( e4 [3 L5 b' X) I' i0 w' A7 v
If the plural of tooth is teeth
. U' F5 k& m+ }Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
1 {# I! [ Z3 `: H5 \If the teacher taught,
4 r0 q2 B2 w7 U% qWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables* L& I. [, C+ p8 j/ o
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?# r3 M4 I5 D* k8 \4 Y, ?- i0 l
Why do people recite at a play8 y- X- L5 `- j2 _ K- v
Yet play at a recital?# ]3 q' p: {, G0 T9 ?) W8 o" t. d
Park on driveways and Y! r2 K% E% C- l
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
- h d- `+ p l& }Of a language where a house can burn up as+ n4 |( L" N( C$ b. U# I/ W, K
It burns down& A! K0 M" r' _
And in which you fill in a form $ S7 y& V! m! j( t0 w' x* ]
By filling it out
* Z+ K$ u, x8 K: pAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!: ?5 J+ d7 Z2 J" R- M2 M! R6 n6 w/ `
9 F( Z2 f* r) y( m0 \English was invented by people, not computers
$ K( v% S4 Q9 v; W& I+ `And it reflects the creativity of the human race% H s4 s. b% g2 ~$ c
(Which of course isn't a race at all)3 T6 v. |; p# o
& {% X! J' Q* M9 a& J9 e- t8 wThat is why7 c+ F2 p0 ~+ r6 b; U/ Z2 |
When the stars are out they are visible
+ _5 C$ j$ F3 d0 H( I' gBut when the lights are out they are invisible$ H- j5 [. v+ G" K6 p
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
' w+ G/ u% _9 i; yIt starts8 {7 Y, y' [$ k5 U; u
But when I wind up this observation,1 I; r) u; c# |
It ends. |
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