English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
4 K2 v9 x! L* H. i0 r, c$ D1 f# N6 Z3 N
Let's face it
! ^* f  J- W' s8 X4 dEnglish is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
' O' B. t9 G" a* S* r8 aNo ham in the hamburger
. n+ j9 |- j9 C; \! I& IAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
! {( [9 L- ?7 e- p- |3 A! XFrench fries were not invented in France.
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1 ]/ s5 i  M  B9 FWe sometimes take English for granted
$ i8 D' Q) P) d. ^+ V% \But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
0 S" b# }3 J* N! ^0 A( _8 ~Boxing rings are square
- S& `( C/ r9 ~/ G# v2 d2 LAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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1 @. t; r1 S5 e" Z& K( Z5 f, U) MIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
: Q8 |$ k. m, p$ C0 E1 ^If the plural of tooth is teeth
8 q1 A  v9 @  b6 q/ y& u4 t/ `Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
) g5 l8 `% P9 AIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

! C/ g3 [1 M  @$ G* dIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
7 F4 [3 O! e% |4 e- oWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
1 D( E% T; q. U% M% EYet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
1 ]. D5 ]. c+ Z! gDrive on parkways

/ k. k! |7 U9 @$ q/ W" aYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
( L2 ]$ t8 _6 e/ [% |7 BOf a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
1 z: w% b- i: M" h! a+ iAnd in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

1 H+ N) w2 S  `- fEnglish was invented by people, not computers
! p0 U  C/ f( t- ~! `And it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 y2 ~" T' o$ L! C(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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; K# J+ a4 k& \/ Z* J# h# uThat is why
When the stars are out they are visible
, v& ~1 P, @2 s, W0 IBut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
; S" `" U! H. i) x9 s$ O; j- t7 X! xBut when I wind up this observation,
4 [6 p( N- b" e+ i" A/ ~8 GIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
9 v% {/ u% b. p. b1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
" v: b- G" j& d, x3 a2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
; S, e# a2 ?5 J  r# a& [: r3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
$ Y. p# ^9 }: }9 \. b" t9 k其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
; r  m4 E4 [* B5 C- u我看了几行,就看不下去了.
' n- Q+ m% A3 n7 Y' c$ L% `7 p1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
9 {$ V+ S( N! Y( w2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

6 ^0 X0 u3 N$ W& L谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
7 @& |9 e8 A( @; q! \% f实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

abcd460

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沃索拉呐

说得不错，有收获，顶一下
1 V3 Z( Y& Y$ y0 Y4 Q8 x
& t/ `2 U* D& q
: p" y9 A3 R4 H: N0 E4 z  一民工大便不通去医院作检查，医生检查后给此人开了一个药方，民工到取药处一看是一卷手纸，不解，医生说：以后不要再用水泥袋擦屁股了！


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