 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it" |% ]+ @" C6 |8 u/ {3 _ `
English is a stupid language.
4 D+ ]1 C* O7 _4 _4 M8 LThere is no egg in the eggplant
6 H c) o: f$ O% p7 _No ham in the hamburger$ T) L- m8 U& Y0 }
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
( N, i3 n& V% @* u3 OEnglish muffins were not invented in England' K/ V) {( i. @6 G) S
French fries were not invented in France.
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1 J& z3 Q+ q* Y- R0 k7 L3 r/ HWe sometimes take English for granted
: K) S. K7 d. {/ Q: L9 _/ PBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that( }- V& g9 W7 o/ D. U8 y) Y
Quicksand takes you down slowly
1 F# G. L& a H' I& D! iBoxing rings are square& k# y8 Q/ L2 ` Q- o3 c
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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; r0 r7 w! v. } G7 ]0 J0 KIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
, \# Q' `2 I6 ~$ AIf the plural of tooth is teeth: |* z s0 {7 P* H# u5 D) V1 E
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
: m, {$ N) Y- |/ x/ B5 W: pIf the teacher taught,
. M' H% I/ B4 QWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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. E6 I1 B1 ^9 o: V/ ?8 [6 Y6 fIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
& G$ @. M) s' f5 B, F7 bWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
$ v% C0 J! p+ B, ]& k; L. M: wWhy do people recite at a play
# u2 Z0 L9 l6 Q$ K2 z; \Yet play at a recital?" B- [+ J. q6 p2 v( } B) j& G
Park on driveways and
( \1 R1 G* Z2 ?! MDrive on parkways! Q# D0 u) v# o
( A; I& _$ S) \7 A! BYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
6 k: R1 D) _5 C2 M3 w! yOf a language where a house can burn up as( J1 k ^: m" D# x" H5 s
It burns down4 Q2 Q' h. }- ~: L. p" R5 L
And in which you fill in a form 7 x" ~5 |+ s6 l* _4 P
By filling it out
8 U3 O( j( C$ v+ ^% S+ eAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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6 g) f$ ^% ]) k, G! M* s- c/ D( nEnglish was invented by people, not computers
) i2 W. s) U* G7 S' ~: `) gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race+ `7 @, B% K$ i6 i) n6 D
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why4 \8 ~- l/ A" V4 X
When the stars are out they are visible
6 D4 N+ |0 C" n# p% EBut when the lights are out they are invisible
7 y) J' f' Y' v6 m: i! d. |% ZAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
0 V$ g h% _0 M# L! `2 K- S4 Y/ AIt starts
, h0 n3 z& ?$ r) vBut when I wind up this observation,
7 s- \# {% _$ |% ^ y8 x3 F8 KIt ends. |
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