 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?) g d0 r% w% u$ M% P: W3 C/ N
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Let's face it
6 N2 ` V! K/ C2 t# L0 U* l0 EEnglish is a stupid language.! `- n2 @7 h, `$ {8 Y
There is no egg in the eggplant
) F9 a4 ]/ R3 Z4 a) {# PNo ham in the hamburger
& d- c# b$ d0 W: W5 zAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.' u% V9 M3 A, m8 ~7 v: N" z
English muffins were not invented in England
4 ?/ j; B5 q+ Y, ~: zFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted0 [/ V1 N& Q: |7 G5 H6 E! i
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that) f1 g/ M4 Q0 P% p* G' D" j/ W, V5 s
Quicksand takes you down slowly
; u3 E! I: p- O. L) ]: oBoxing rings are square
( u! ?$ ]4 y( L6 TAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 1 s8 S$ `1 H( C. I# ]
7 {9 K7 Z8 m+ b+ h6 J6 MIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing. h+ @% M( c; r
If the plural of tooth is teeth
- y. }( U" I+ KShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth$ F1 R' N) h. e( n! ]; s+ b
If the teacher taught,; z% P+ w: M$ p H* V# U! V0 \
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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6 S2 t0 n( B [3 ~8 M' _2 xIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
" d3 U2 ]8 y! j9 ]% u4 _* u( MWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 N" ]8 Z* B4 y! N- b4 m
Why do people recite at a play
% T/ u9 x* m+ B* B" f4 ?& ~/ gYet play at a recital?
8 b8 S( r* T/ S- nPark on driveways and, D' b7 q3 w8 q/ e& t. \
Drive on parkways
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( m! O/ m$ K6 }. i pYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy- y4 Q+ f& L, t% W* i1 Q3 a9 V
Of a language where a house can burn up as
9 ]" G2 P8 F b( P) c! y8 TIt burns down
5 d# t7 k% h O/ ^( cAnd in which you fill in a form * c( Z& `) Y/ w
By filling it out
; b& C, U8 l5 C0 F! ZAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!9 v" c" d5 g( B7 w7 x/ e
" }; p, C! u: z0 r+ AEnglish was invented by people, not computers1 H0 g( f9 p- ?$ F) t: C8 C
And it reflects the creativity of the human race P# {$ b; D, \/ T: Y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)9 G% l. A' x+ y9 G6 q1 I
6 [2 q0 b8 L( E( T+ AThat is why
3 f- @; j3 \/ ` b7 E* L; dWhen the stars are out they are visible
- l) Q" z4 y- j; IBut when the lights are out they are invisible
" y/ Z0 E0 Y9 a/ {$ _And why it is that when I wind up my watch
5 R# m3 W0 L- Q& U! B7 A, \It starts
3 M/ M4 j3 c3 f4 ABut when I wind up this observation,
' H/ i2 S% \, QIt ends. |
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