 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?8 J' z/ l5 q/ U' n7 `
( W! n% q' S3 \3 z0 d0 HLet's face it1 J$ u# E+ p9 T; I$ ?4 i; w# H. v: I
English is a stupid language.: Z' E7 R* f( ]4 U/ [+ l" d5 S
There is no egg in the eggplant
' |% b- U6 J5 |, T& [. D9 f; WNo ham in the hamburger* s* A3 g& v% P
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.1 ]4 w- ]9 j# Y4 ~ |3 M
English muffins were not invented in England
' g, U; f" w. S3 X# sFrench fries were not invented in France.3 a W2 Z1 A: S1 K% N9 \
8 G( n3 G6 D' gWe sometimes take English for granted
9 j/ p/ S; S$ j0 @4 o; ^But if we examine its paradoxes we find that( x! n3 d6 _) Z0 ~+ e
Quicksand takes you down slowly! o; N5 g: d9 s; z, U; w# c
Boxing rings are square
$ }4 R; `. P5 O% XAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
9 \4 h) X2 ?6 e0 ~0 IIf the plural of tooth is teeth
# I, R% A) r( F: D5 XShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
) ], Z9 I0 }3 H PIf the teacher taught,4 O8 ~$ [" a- v9 O' r8 C0 k {
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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/ N9 G& C. m9 a9 O5 t3 n8 {+ iIf a vegetarian eats vegetables0 P! o U- V( Y6 n
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?- D( O- U$ j2 l2 p4 K \( l0 U8 `
Why do people recite at a play! `' e8 w/ k* y
Yet play at a recital?
) f& ^* F0 E) j+ A: A3 dPark on driveways and
8 z, B; I; E9 `! X6 y5 }" x% hDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy6 P7 u: o, ^; s5 e8 J
Of a language where a house can burn up as- f% E9 [/ m% r1 o4 Y, @- r$ g, B
It burns down
: p, q9 b( M$ M' A# T, KAnd in which you fill in a form 1 D+ j5 Z: |! K. ], `7 T7 q& i* y
By filling it out
9 [& ^! Z# l" J W) z: `6 s/ Y: z! R: uAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!$ b5 x# V) z6 u
9 f- d" [2 ~! h9 U/ d, m, hEnglish was invented by people, not computers! b) N. `( }' t; y8 \" D+ u, ]7 |
And it reflects the creativity of the human race$ R) P! B5 e3 M
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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3 A. r$ ^9 t* g& o: Y" J. H. uThat is why* \$ Q& ^% D$ Y& F/ @
When the stars are out they are visible; f3 p0 h+ T! |& `5 R7 ~; F
But when the lights are out they are invisible$ Y9 G5 z0 I! y& [& ~
And why it is that when I wind up my watch* {& @9 Q/ G9 ~- s( u
It starts8 }9 T: O2 i' n/ [2 Y% y
But when I wind up this observation,
/ s" I6 f$ W9 Q) h1 S8 L* s9 ~It ends. |
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