 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?% \; z* |4 L! k( K
, D: E. ]+ a; H# o- B5 P" X- LLet's face it: Q2 k, [& l1 r7 F$ r9 V
English is a stupid language.
* x" n; n, ~4 `# Y; k0 t+ \There is no egg in the eggplant
5 E6 D0 Y1 K0 |- F2 j3 ]No ham in the hamburger' o/ d0 f0 G+ ]: _1 {
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
- o; a( X) A! R2 O2 @! ]English muffins were not invented in England3 k7 h) ]9 a+ u' t) |
French fries were not invented in France.9 V! m* ~# {* C1 W
" Q- y% \! P8 l7 |We sometimes take English for granted
! V* D; C: R9 [ \1 p* nBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
. q& w) L' P, m- Z+ ZQuicksand takes you down slowly: q/ W* c& N3 W3 @
Boxing rings are square
9 t* C& a7 i U. S1 O+ B3 @, i( ]And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ' M5 `/ e/ g o" p( v) ~' F
0 R5 Q. Y/ s: {3 cIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.! v1 ^7 ]" ~, _0 p, @
If the plural of tooth is teeth
+ V; A7 }& _* t0 t' N6 d' o% GShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
! b$ {" h$ H: P9 h+ ^If the teacher taught,% S9 [, O! k8 t( k& W% x7 o4 v% K
Why didn't the preacher praught.
+ L3 a% }+ M* ^& \- X% l% h* X, U6 I6 h) B: y* y/ }
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
: U( C3 X- t z5 @What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?: K$ g3 K f, p
Why do people recite at a play) k% n- D; [$ j3 I6 f, N- g
Yet play at a recital?3 t' i- `3 i- o" K I
Park on driveways and
5 K& z3 c, }% cDrive on parkways8 R7 s0 G- P$ ^' F' l, ?
- L+ c8 d# U: V- d* bYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy7 |; G8 I, z3 T$ k
Of a language where a house can burn up as: ?. M. G# `7 x5 m
It burns down5 \* G' _: x# {( B, ^$ F7 w
And in which you fill in a form
3 |5 s1 M8 N* O' \- V- Q: A- iBy filling it out
( l" J" F& K. A" m. Q; IAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
6 q: | u. s9 D# P3 ]* a0 a2 ]6 b' \ t* ^4 E9 O2 k
English was invented by people, not computers
- M4 e5 I7 o% q+ }* R3 q9 }And it reflects the creativity of the human race# a+ b% s6 h2 J4 \( @& g# B
(Which of course isn't a race at all)9 r+ l% [. }2 e; C
, Y0 z3 P/ }3 k. Y# d' B$ a/ c6 UThat is why
3 S- Y |! X3 a& G+ L2 f2 |* ~When the stars are out they are visible% V% F: }0 B3 C }3 k( c% q
But when the lights are out they are invisible
! l& b+ I% d; y/ u* |And why it is that when I wind up my watch2 P6 o' Y5 ]3 N1 Y9 ~' t3 L, j
It starts8 k1 a/ X) c0 S Z: z" M" l
But when I wind up this observation,7 D j; v4 t: }- M$ a3 _
It ends. |
|