 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
+ z8 M% J# p+ X# P0 ZEnglish is a stupid language.2 j/ h* u5 P& @: s$ ~2 V
There is no egg in the eggplant3 {, M, Z5 F; c" T5 q
No ham in the hamburger
0 H1 i( W, d: r3 H7 m* UAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.) u9 q9 }9 X! u" T! e5 z% t
English muffins were not invented in England6 Z! g; E1 Y) \6 j
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted. @: s1 _: E, l( Q
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that- e3 y" V7 ?' K" O0 b. K9 z$ H- n! W
Quicksand takes you down slowly' c/ a" y8 F4 z+ n/ d1 G3 t7 y' B
Boxing rings are square( Z' y r8 w: _0 a+ E0 k
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.& a' \4 n; t% C. _
If the plural of tooth is teeth
7 W/ {" O' L0 C# R3 T4 KShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 q! c# a0 A: Q1 uIf the teacher taught,9 E1 t( t7 p3 k* |* [! q( n
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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( ]- ]' b l$ U. W; ~3 }9 {If a vegetarian eats vegetables, S: A' E& q) q& n
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
& }' p% X& d, V& v3 z% nWhy do people recite at a play4 f# ^ n0 |! y: g% j Z: B$ C2 ]
Yet play at a recital?0 S/ `5 e+ ~) W j3 D' w3 E
Park on driveways and$ p( i( ~$ V; I5 H- v4 d
Drive on parkways
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3 B& O% L. R! Y7 q, SYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
4 d% f- U' Z4 IOf a language where a house can burn up as5 k& l5 W8 y! R K* x1 g- V2 u7 ?4 j
It burns down. g0 A% w: w9 J$ W k9 z" d" }' }
And in which you fill in a form
4 H; j- e I2 _- ]By filling it out
% M. J' }. m bAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!$ ^$ v; N( x& o! u3 p
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English was invented by people, not computers
/ X# w* w! ]5 g5 PAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
' ^9 E" e/ M9 m5 ?$ [+ h8 \$ l/ J(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
1 h, V& Q! w" \& cWhen the stars are out they are visible" s' o" a0 Y" s4 A7 u; i
But when the lights are out they are invisible
" _& a5 ^' y l# U6 ]And why it is that when I wind up my watch
* S* H% `- M+ t9 y Y7 AIt starts8 ~8 ^0 ?2 Q) s/ r
But when I wind up this observation,
- o7 G4 f$ f2 y% y: W* PIt ends. |
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