 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
- H* y( |6 o. Q8 `) b# `5 QEnglish is a stupid language.
, D# m% o0 f0 dThere is no egg in the eggplant# E7 Z, T3 M! q8 N6 X J; c; q G
No ham in the hamburger
/ j0 l4 r" A- cAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
1 s9 r' F8 ]) z% N8 q8 \English muffins were not invented in England
/ [& @$ S% f4 k: @3 lFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
: X' Q4 C$ L9 | SBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that2 k& L3 q5 o+ c; D
Quicksand takes you down slowly: O; z3 k. I6 W
Boxing rings are square
/ V7 L( y: f. a; z( c# ^. OAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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1 w5 y0 Q6 _- w+ ?( v% _If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.. ?7 I4 s: u" `% `& ^
If the plural of tooth is teeth
# i! g4 ]/ E9 L. B6 K* NShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
; V3 d2 v7 i3 Z* ^7 h8 F$ m5 |If the teacher taught,
. \% n. F- |! @7 F7 qWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
& |* }: h/ L7 K# E, t5 }7 fWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
, ^/ @( m+ x2 I4 ~* Q" }" zWhy do people recite at a play
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Park on driveways and
) z. g5 }1 u @, O7 }Drive on parkways0 S$ D/ t9 ?0 s9 p5 _7 q2 k
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
& D5 F' F8 J% v s L: pOf a language where a house can burn up as7 w: g6 [7 V. C
It burns down& |; d2 R/ |/ D8 e; k
And in which you fill in a form " F- e2 @- v1 \- c, _
By filling it out0 y9 D/ n* V. g5 X
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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( M0 N ?/ Q% S' C* @- mEnglish was invented by people, not computers" v% P* A6 T8 b2 G' |- K
And it reflects the creativity of the human race4 L( Y8 ^2 V, X9 a8 M% }# c+ R/ y, _: i
(Which of course isn't a race at all)( L; |) O0 ^$ V: W4 r* q
* u/ O9 X- S! A% v, @4 L5 a: [That is why
7 [" j/ b9 W* Z; g9 g4 Y3 xWhen the stars are out they are visible) W+ ]6 V0 p2 N5 \7 h
But when the lights are out they are invisible
% `( y2 r; M* @. j5 H: FAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
/ _5 {8 F( I9 B3 Q, s4 v. J, bIt starts
* N) f. Q4 ]( b4 IBut when I wind up this observation,
+ z6 s% E: `6 D0 DIt ends. |
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