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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?6 \3 W h; x7 J# A: Q
" }, W& b* _' R& kLet's face it; N* z& k3 w, e& G5 Z" P
English is a stupid language.
" Q! l5 i3 w) UThere is no egg in the eggplant$ H5 m! [8 K( M' h- X T
No ham in the hamburger
% |4 Z9 k& |0 x! ^0 @And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.) e7 M L ~+ w6 l; X( [6 V# r, u4 t$ f
English muffins were not invented in England
& d' s: d* e* y+ aFrench fries were not invented in France.5 l0 R8 L( n5 S; x! ?9 N' h$ x! _
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We sometimes take English for granted, Z. { p- s* |9 C
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that; Z$ q# S) o3 ?4 m3 u2 k
Quicksand takes you down slowly
4 V! @7 j% ?" L9 ABoxing rings are square1 P r, v2 R1 P$ [9 ?+ S
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. $ F6 N, ^+ s3 b" p! g
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.' D) w. J7 Y6 @( ?& l
If the plural of tooth is teeth1 U9 x6 v9 @" J' B9 t# n
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
0 J& J/ [+ @6 x2 j6 w- }% c/ }If the teacher taught,1 d& S6 I' @# a
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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% _# [9 L. a2 B3 r% @% {If a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 g1 V5 j: T' r7 w$ W$ dWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
2 _7 ~9 E" ^: m ?Why do people recite at a play8 E; n2 d/ s" g" e+ d8 F+ V7 p
Yet play at a recital?7 G( [1 J5 g+ U: @" t
Park on driveways and4 i, D! R: T. g& F9 `
Drive on parkways$ U1 ]( s: n, j8 T1 H
; Z( Q$ O% h1 Q' o$ I2 D- lYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
D- R* @9 V9 j4 U. v7 N, F, uOf a language where a house can burn up as
# ~( J: Y8 h0 J% m+ p1 L/ R- uIt burns down# O- M7 Y5 h# q/ \. w" e% A" Y
And in which you fill in a form
( D6 _9 f/ T: N! H+ ]By filling it out5 u- z7 _$ }7 L5 n, l7 f
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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) E/ E2 M8 g( g# R h5 VEnglish was invented by people, not computers
" s. }/ [1 e% w) O9 y8 YAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race$ S9 R9 x$ x3 P! b: O& A/ z
(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 q2 [% u8 [5 u
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That is why
4 n0 R3 n- b& p, K$ U" ]When the stars are out they are visible
' D4 A6 W# N. p; @But when the lights are out they are invisible
* j% ]" ^4 A! B3 g2 \# TAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
8 z) d8 O8 S& L! _# _4 fIt starts# i, C& E1 x+ z" X. f7 _" C
But when I wind up this observation,
$ P b3 Z0 n$ z4 FIt ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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