 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?# \9 B% [# x/ r, W- [1 p, @
, m* c) V K, O% t, H8 wLet's face it
) q4 M6 g. |7 h) Z. v- XEnglish is a stupid language. ?& y/ t+ L: z; I q5 ^
There is no egg in the eggplant, F6 L; [ g h8 t! B0 W4 v# i
No ham in the hamburger0 N0 Z! o3 ^7 L$ u$ t
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
- T5 [, f( ?* n$ AEnglish muffins were not invented in England
0 ^$ R4 {: ^2 ~( s9 _) Z* B5 d& nFrench fries were not invented in France.
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" \8 {) t; y' L" E h8 ^" VWe sometimes take English for granted% }* m+ V1 f: T
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that( R/ V: x: I/ S: o, r
Quicksand takes you down slowly
7 D2 T' _) ?" s8 T2 x" UBoxing rings are square; n5 z P. x+ e1 M* h. r. J
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. D4 [% U& N$ g
; V2 u2 n, K% X9 r- c, _If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
: D3 o p. ?# y1 }5 XIf the plural of tooth is teeth% f8 ?6 N b/ @
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth# T; r9 G# f* B% W
If the teacher taught,
+ d% ~9 d) F2 X4 cWhy didn't the preacher praught./ ~+ N/ V0 k. \1 U# W/ O
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables" J; w1 [" X5 _) Y- v& A% `' z" f
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
7 z! ?, o( C8 t& }Why do people recite at a play
9 W! Z- l, q, {. `* H: a% @Yet play at a recital?
8 v# P' a9 S, ~6 y4 \# U9 b- OPark on driveways and9 A/ p5 D9 ~- K% {
Drive on parkways' j& w, D; ?9 B) p. T* S8 z
, j! m% j" p8 X. c9 L5 UYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy: C4 f/ o. v y9 W; V
Of a language where a house can burn up as! f- v4 w a7 d
It burns down3 N+ x* ~: X# v
And in which you fill in a form
7 G; s; R+ @1 K$ ~1 c2 RBy filling it out/ L9 Y- W( D1 e- a& r& @2 H8 d
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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2 O; y8 Z! C1 f& B& eEnglish was invented by people, not computers: M9 M' J, z2 p
And it reflects the creativity of the human race, y; U9 a; x4 w7 n6 \
(Which of course isn't a race at all)$ M3 j# V1 c# ~+ n" w$ Q7 R
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That is why4 L7 o9 L6 Y* P1 _! C w' ]
When the stars are out they are visible
/ p0 r* x2 z- }9 hBut when the lights are out they are invisible" [$ }( b/ [8 h( u8 y+ R
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
* l! p5 E& ~2 q+ A5 Q$ U: j5 ^) nIt starts2 y, ?' X5 {. @1 X& |
But when I wind up this observation,
. ]2 ^- A z# QIt ends. |
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