 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
% j# P$ g5 \. i3 P" C. v" M( i; Z1 K: {% y$ `, V ^/ F* S
Let's face it
* G( H% }4 k- MEnglish is a stupid language.
8 U3 O" }/ P% PThere is no egg in the eggplant- l5 B8 v; O: l1 T& F
No ham in the hamburger
- X. U! N6 h* C& \3 GAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
4 l$ ?( S: @9 A8 wEnglish muffins were not invented in England
: ?0 K+ ?2 @$ AFrench fries were not invented in France.
3 i0 b* S: h8 i- I" I: ]
9 d( n* U+ M9 R0 JWe sometimes take English for granted- B1 z4 k' P/ G( L8 J
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that _2 `4 L* G. S/ k
Quicksand takes you down slowly& w* `( Y; D, l/ _" g7 `
Boxing rings are square0 J( C' l# c6 b; H0 k
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. |! x7 Y, d4 x, V
. h! X7 ]. J' d/ G2 S& M0 i
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
/ P6 c3 `& P7 d$ y' j" r1 v" s7 HIf the plural of tooth is teeth
. w& d# z7 f( z- UShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth8 @7 P$ }4 z0 A6 V8 G" d8 O
If the teacher taught,
9 \) `: _8 e4 k1 v! g. J, S7 mWhy didn't the preacher praught.
1 l s+ ]& O. z; Q. y3 p, e1 c$ k2 R: `4 t' y, k# P: @
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
8 R; P9 Q6 N" _. A/ R4 xWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
' B7 G0 P, z0 Q7 G- X5 K$ HWhy do people recite at a play
1 P+ T* ~. ?+ F4 \Yet play at a recital?, f- K9 Y+ Y4 G' b7 f5 C2 }, o
Park on driveways and6 p8 q7 {# g: N3 ]5 J8 u
Drive on parkways
$ w4 y8 G: x. ~
) s2 ?9 K+ k9 tYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
# r; Q/ l* k- p9 F" [Of a language where a house can burn up as
( Q8 j( ^9 @- }$ @. ?& e, ?It burns down
1 L/ Q0 x/ x# B- F7 Q3 eAnd in which you fill in a form # u- D$ s$ ?! }$ N" \
By filling it out( k$ @8 q' @0 f( d2 ^% K: H
And a bell is only heard once it goes!0 W L) o! U% `
6 X5 V* m; A7 C7 jEnglish was invented by people, not computers
. o4 k5 Z# Y, B9 n, P" \And it reflects the creativity of the human race. M) q/ s$ T+ v6 w
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
5 D8 e7 }( L; H: L g4 m/ a1 B: Z# P* J5 z
That is why5 W# m, `( J# \9 |
When the stars are out they are visible, h$ \9 m) T. K9 r3 A% O0 j
But when the lights are out they are invisible2 K. e- k; y; w( w B1 b
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
5 }( Y: Q- i: Z( c) L/ u, U* s0 @) YIt starts& r- Y$ \6 y$ Y' ^: U' p
But when I wind up this observation,
% F- ~5 a' S: W6 u5 E2 U( _" r4 mIt ends. |
|