 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?% W! g& {+ M Q N7 T& ~
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Let's face it
1 b- \3 G1 z) W9 @" b: u8 h; [% \English is a stupid language.+ v1 c! x" S) K5 P( [4 v( H2 n
There is no egg in the eggplant& [, N+ [1 J$ x3 O
No ham in the hamburger
n: |( O: L' s sAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
/ }& [4 d) o& b" A, {9 dEnglish muffins were not invented in England, L' ]9 n% D* {, e
French fries were not invented in France., J5 |) {7 ~" s; X# @( n9 x/ ~
. R) V9 o( |, r3 @: X7 Z. OWe sometimes take English for granted2 i6 j5 b2 ]7 m" X% a: P6 Z! W
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that) W) f' M+ U3 f& [$ o+ r1 M7 f
Quicksand takes you down slowly
8 o/ K' ^+ l; M' N( IBoxing rings are square( T' c+ C1 e- z$ W4 w
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. # \7 W4 I2 Q* Q6 [" q
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.8 a/ T5 z- }: \# U# r
If the plural of tooth is teeth
6 C: o$ p3 L+ h! _- X+ [ x: H0 S RShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth, K; u( R, N- t% {1 A+ v) S1 l1 ~
If the teacher taught,- i# |2 I7 U% ]( r% |& K- K, j
Why didn't the preacher praught. B. c9 f) P" E2 y& Z
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
! Q! M0 R1 U9 SWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?& _. k# W! ~9 I3 u3 o
Why do people recite at a play$ S2 v3 b7 O: K3 h% s8 S
Yet play at a recital?% N6 _" I7 T, w) H! J
Park on driveways and
+ S' H- r) ?7 t" I/ {8 F* YDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy: z2 u# H( X4 l
Of a language where a house can burn up as5 ]. h9 f- l) a+ J
It burns down9 i# n4 H; _, O9 A7 `' I
And in which you fill in a form ( d5 Q J8 M' F
By filling it out
% q/ [6 k; x! H# TAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers9 D) B) O! V# I% d6 e" l
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
3 r! h! E; B. z1 f(Which of course isn't a race at all)( W; Z% M* G7 U- m: k) {
V) n. u4 l. u# iThat is why* Z q/ u# x7 A0 ]5 H! ^. i
When the stars are out they are visible
" S% L* [9 a5 G/ a) ?But when the lights are out they are invisible
" S0 }3 [9 |: l$ iAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
4 Y2 [5 G6 e$ y6 C# qIt starts
! P* e* K3 ^; q5 }But when I wind up this observation,
3 N8 I; x$ m3 W9 q8 _/ C0 {8 ^It ends. |
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