 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?! V( a! u+ G) d; m
7 {2 g% S( U2 d# _+ C/ B2 R* ELet's face it
, W* I) ]0 P5 J- TEnglish is a stupid language.
& g* o X$ N1 Z& j4 D. O7 jThere is no egg in the eggplant& F7 g7 |* p7 B5 a& n. }% F4 S
No ham in the hamburger
2 K3 s# Q9 n6 M$ ]5 ~And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
6 G: q" V; A" H) I. GEnglish muffins were not invented in England4 {" U: k, B( V' q
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted4 O0 Q) F# Q7 U+ S; Z% ~/ j; I6 P
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: {. ]3 o+ r+ [" E$ O/ `/ ?Quicksand takes you down slowly
`5 i, [/ D& T; ?Boxing rings are square. k3 }- o: C; z# ?- |" M9 H# L
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.: v5 V3 |5 G! F/ e# |! N5 k
If the plural of tooth is teeth3 |9 S# {: p& M2 l) O6 z2 ~
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth4 H& d; m7 u; T3 p2 f( V
If the teacher taught,4 a/ q8 O' w0 s- q( D. _8 b2 u
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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( Y/ z3 w7 e7 j6 oIf a vegetarian eats vegetables/ l- P2 q& a' q' W6 _1 E5 z$ E
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
, ~. v( a2 H- F: Z3 i+ r IWhy do people recite at a play2 K. f- _: F9 s) w; L
Yet play at a recital?
. o; B' G) V% q _. b. P$ r5 U, iPark on driveways and: n+ ?0 e- L' F+ a* W! R
Drive on parkways7 H( O& D' b5 M: ^
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy5 f+ y- ]$ j5 U
Of a language where a house can burn up as, O% T7 V. g1 V4 r0 Z) n
It burns down$ }1 S+ z" u; Q* t4 e
And in which you fill in a form
/ a& O5 B* u3 c! o0 kBy filling it out
- W, E% }8 _& b. N3 v- E; V' D5 ZAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!/ |7 S: v: J5 W: X( [
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English was invented by people, not computers* D4 h( C: z2 H
And it reflects the creativity of the human race3 r1 `- u+ q1 K2 I7 _+ Z* U% X0 J
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
7 q- k) Z, g# p+ j) wWhen the stars are out they are visible
1 b, R3 w1 X8 T& t, K+ x* wBut when the lights are out they are invisible
; b! F! w: p) h$ o$ T* `' w# P& RAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
& r* r' B3 M4 r3 j6 @It starts8 R. f" Q) K1 T
But when I wind up this observation,
Z, z& m# }* V ?It ends. |
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