 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
! i( _& j3 s: l; f% G |0 o2 {; R7 [, U3 C
Let's face it
$ n; E" {# t! I. H( O$ A3 SEnglish is a stupid language.
; t4 E' @" {! F1 O- qThere is no egg in the eggplant
0 t3 m5 ]$ X" ?( m1 sNo ham in the hamburger
. e& e$ w* O& e0 c; U) y* EAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.' C/ l5 A5 V5 \7 l+ N
English muffins were not invented in England
: \1 X5 `! x9 ~: O8 ZFrench fries were not invented in France.: O) e* m: ?. ~: @
% U; y2 u2 l! b* Q: t% h& J
We sometimes take English for granted$ t% I! v- _ b& v
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that6 T$ b' x- _3 a5 |
Quicksand takes you down slowly2 i H3 z, D6 |! b3 |
Boxing rings are square: u Z$ j: B' a! l- s0 N5 {+ L* C
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. : L6 d0 Y0 n0 n3 E
7 m6 y' q7 P0 L& ~7 m
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
{- u; ~3 J5 T0 I' @/ {6 W! y6 QIf the plural of tooth is teeth
* `5 ~$ d3 [, L1 \( }Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 P& O, e7 f. SIf the teacher taught,
- n! u7 e$ {& k) k; `2 F) }Why didn't the preacher praught.: s+ ]6 U4 I0 J% w. }: f7 C
0 B9 L' A2 {: A: x* M* J5 d' bIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
, A7 S! s. w9 f$ {' f+ F3 gWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?- S. ^5 f1 y6 v3 ]
Why do people recite at a play0 ~% P0 g4 |' ~/ l4 o% D
Yet play at a recital?' q P5 W% w, N8 ?9 ]* B
Park on driveways and" R) y- C; L6 Y! | ?4 k* B
Drive on parkways1 m0 y, b& u2 d( `6 N! S5 J, {
6 c7 S' c. O5 ?* vYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy5 H% f# h" n6 Y% S# M) t; _* k7 Z
Of a language where a house can burn up as; n8 G2 F0 O6 d4 V$ i& c% M4 `
It burns down3 W) X6 \& q3 i; D4 X
And in which you fill in a form : L' w! K; V; I) u2 Q u
By filling it out
, b# A( A, l' r. S# }' o# |9 e' eAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!0 p- b- t. U1 _# d% H
5 V P5 |0 ~8 i$ m4 m7 h$ S) rEnglish was invented by people, not computers1 A! r+ {' [; _! T
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
$ k# V9 G3 L) \0 X! v$ e& n4 \- j( B(Which of course isn't a race at all)
. z' u' z7 e2 B/ V9 n4 s* [4 b! C
D8 O! A9 o2 P3 S; i4 y& IThat is why6 A# F9 t- ~5 o* P& D
When the stars are out they are visible
8 _$ R8 W8 U3 Y4 k6 PBut when the lights are out they are invisible
1 _% W: A1 q6 ~. [* _1 bAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch- R, P9 k6 i9 k B5 s! O
It starts
1 H1 w5 A& c C- Z8 i5 dBut when I wind up this observation,1 E e: K, L, w5 P& L: t$ b
It ends. |
|