English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
: Q8 v# V4 }; G: `) PThere is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
5 Q3 a  E0 t) ?2 `  _2 JEnglish muffins were not invented in England
  n2 e1 t% t  AFrench fries were not invented in France.
! r; Q7 g! Y  \% W
We sometimes take English for granted
( H' D- ?. f9 W; pBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
) x; I+ B( o  JBoxing rings are square
- X' B+ o7 @2 T1 A! H7 RAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
: [. b0 W  q& a3 Y9 j6 {; FShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
/ N" w( M6 }  o1 JWhy do people recite at a play
' C( n4 ^3 D/ G: _8 T2 UYet play at a recital?
" m& R! L2 Z6 ?( [6 O8 F; w1 x' g7 }Park on driveways and
7 n( b/ T+ k( a6 |) C0 wDrive on parkways
0 K) A6 m- n/ g8 S) N) B9 l0 Q7 K5 p
8 A7 z' H$ K$ Q# m1 B4 nYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
* o' X5 h0 m9 y* E6 _6 x6 wAnd in which you fill in a form
  A" v$ s3 f$ B* H) [( x+ z. }, {By filling it out
* b8 I& G& p# f9 \And a bell is only heard once it goes!

+ U& i: w& I# W+ _6 y3 z2 hEnglish was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
7 I$ C% f) J2 E; f  i/ IWhen the stars are out they are visible
2 n0 ?! M) O* D4 P6 C: M- y2 bBut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
# D1 ]% s2 j: f( ]0 u4 S5 F* I2 _: wIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
8 T3 v. V$ x; L/ N8 }) Z2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
6 t: U  [( \0 N; ]1 C实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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