 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it8 q$ Q% a, o# p [$ r" w" H7 x8 G7 M
English is a stupid language.
0 Y% c1 L/ i8 t/ E) @ DThere is no egg in the eggplant5 B# T3 \5 x" B8 ?6 ^4 l3 X
No ham in the hamburger
* Z& S6 h0 y. lAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.- j% j' {* B& H0 N# D1 f0 |4 k
English muffins were not invented in England
5 h, e7 t5 f$ K& m& m5 W( rFrench fries were not invented in France.3 m# K% p# N l w2 ~6 g
6 d2 Z; W" o9 lWe sometimes take English for granted
) R3 i, F3 h( S4 x( M; ?, PBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
& V$ d: c4 k8 S. ~1 q4 J9 p+ EQuicksand takes you down slowly
3 W U- ^1 ~9 D5 ABoxing rings are square
A& G9 P( e4 w: x2 h* N( dAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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! U7 e( ~- {6 G: X$ s; v+ PIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.& H+ R8 M" c8 l' d
If the plural of tooth is teeth
n* E8 [3 r+ z6 O* [6 @) r! x$ [Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth9 b4 q( l& {. l, Y
If the teacher taught,
6 k2 h% e$ Y* D! n$ p$ [* _Why didn't the preacher praught.
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% k# a) L; s8 f9 X6 AIf a vegetarian eats vegetables) W) Q, N9 K" o
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
B7 ~/ [0 t9 e' {( ]Why do people recite at a play
: e6 E& [+ u2 { @8 C* @Yet play at a recital?: `7 D% r: H: I( l+ P
Park on driveways and
8 e8 P* I$ V' {Drive on parkways: L; Q& h$ @$ ^5 ?( e' }
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy1 X# ^4 Z$ P& Q! J2 w% z0 ~* b; n
Of a language where a house can burn up as
3 Q* l" b; L, ^6 E! L/ t4 kIt burns down
0 e5 g. y) z( JAnd in which you fill in a form 0 m4 Y' O1 M# P ?" c
By filling it out7 H, `6 G; M' j& u2 _, E
And a bell is only heard once it goes!( `2 |( O( A) h+ E1 i( U" I' u# e
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English was invented by people, not computers
5 J$ z* i+ \' L# QAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race9 U: y8 O; V2 r, P
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
6 `- B \1 ]6 @0 O7 T& jWhen the stars are out they are visible
! R V ^5 `8 l8 |4 nBut when the lights are out they are invisible
$ \% o: F2 A. Q4 RAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
9 n# f" |* z; k3 TIt starts0 f+ B ?# @6 p8 T# J6 z1 u8 |5 r! |+ `
But when I wind up this observation,- @( F1 u' S* U$ D! `. f
It ends. |
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