 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it6 @8 H8 R) |7 N4 Z
English is a stupid language.
, v3 l% O6 q* N) lThere is no egg in the eggplant
0 H* \8 b+ E: \: SNo ham in the hamburger3 w' }, {" L0 I, V
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
: ~% [5 d4 v, p- w. \1 bEnglish muffins were not invented in England
- [1 u% ?& g4 [French fries were not invented in France.; F2 m4 u" j: A7 |: @
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We sometimes take English for granted
% [0 l; i% n$ `% pBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
+ F0 }1 D8 B3 z" ^" w" NQuicksand takes you down slowly5 T8 d( y. O: \: e* Z! ^( q x
Boxing rings are square1 j; \$ G$ m+ i1 }5 t
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 3 Y7 o, M( i3 q
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.% ?5 n1 O/ ~ T0 c
If the plural of tooth is teeth9 j: [ Q) l. ~% G
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth! }# j% c! R1 T o! ~$ }
If the teacher taught,& r1 S) I# t' u, x& Z
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
3 ~# I, f: n) c ?6 k, Z0 j1 B+ {What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
& R& H& X2 r: ^) |! F. }, bWhy do people recite at a play
& ]2 t) K. c o0 {Yet play at a recital?
5 b8 a" B8 P* a. j) IPark on driveways and. ~ B B6 A& P" `7 H9 a- C
Drive on parkways( E; O/ s; T# ^5 m/ A
7 B2 }- q5 b3 }You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
! J9 R- o) | N: D* A( |' bOf a language where a house can burn up as# y5 Q% C) Y3 V; a' w( [7 k
It burns down
2 y% W3 {' Q+ J' ^2 V+ z4 jAnd in which you fill in a form
- i, m" P2 C7 O( K/ E( z4 _By filling it out
2 l7 j4 w5 G( |* cAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!7 E$ U7 g; C8 }. v
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English was invented by people, not computers
: d$ K2 Z( @% V1 m4 X2 I% T @And it reflects the creativity of the human race
& G: w6 `7 S9 v(Which of course isn't a race at all)3 G$ h- B/ ^& X0 ?: t9 t1 q
8 q/ e" z6 i: o; R: ^! O) E& HThat is why/ O3 l8 S) G* p+ k; ]' t, v& M% D
When the stars are out they are visible2 G9 q; ]+ f( c8 O! _/ m
But when the lights are out they are invisible
" _* D7 g) P2 E& ?. |+ n1 w: IAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch# i( P# Z& _; Q1 p, B. {
It starts+ J+ V# ^. n8 c1 e( B+ I# o
But when I wind up this observation, y5 l0 m4 @" }; g
It ends. |
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