 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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% G/ | @# d! Y! _# m- }Let's face it
4 [$ r" ~& W `! Z7 ZEnglish is a stupid language.( v& B' _4 i$ g% z" L
There is no egg in the eggplant @! S3 f2 o; h2 O( N, G$ B/ |. y
No ham in the hamburger) z) J& B7 d+ q7 ]
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.5 i! k: b- G1 T4 a+ J; k: ?
English muffins were not invented in England
3 e5 X: Y& H$ N6 b5 xFrench fries were not invented in France.* N7 D6 B7 b% c* v
- q! _+ [" u) @* ]! RWe sometimes take English for granted
4 ~& W; h' H" i+ eBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
9 Y) w# h' z4 t; u7 D2 }Quicksand takes you down slowly
7 \& l/ y, f2 a% CBoxing rings are square! R* {. P6 \/ y4 y6 W7 p. i8 ?2 {
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 4 ?. d6 `" \; v( C4 d" x( s
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
. z' S: E9 Y. ^$ G3 }If the plural of tooth is teeth" g5 L3 e2 z+ }3 B+ N, A; T2 [
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- W3 p6 I- Y% {8 f
If the teacher taught,
- f# a# E7 b2 ]. }7 eWhy didn't the preacher praught.6 A: \( X6 f- H$ E
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables8 Z1 ]) O( p1 `$ ?
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?1 I- O2 C6 ]+ \
Why do people recite at a play
: a5 U4 z$ Z- W3 ]Yet play at a recital?+ x+ _6 j. m8 v: J
Park on driveways and/ K; n5 O: y6 s' O' D0 f. s
Drive on parkways& ]5 t' N @ n: M( B
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy. ~5 v8 Q1 G1 u1 H
Of a language where a house can burn up as
) m8 H3 H$ m# h& g, b( F' N9 LIt burns down; a S8 N. }7 m: @6 C9 }
And in which you fill in a form
5 C' c* R$ }- d9 @1 xBy filling it out
% z7 o& J. c; |0 F; J- IAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!, _, g, B% r. r- ]% h5 G( d3 W
5 r2 P5 O/ x Y2 Y5 u) xEnglish was invented by people, not computers, `' W j; H `: s9 G6 W+ H
And it reflects the creativity of the human race& i c, {/ }! O* [9 F, z( ]# @
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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& ~3 J9 z/ r$ z& \, [3 PThat is why" [! v: x* f5 Z
When the stars are out they are visible3 E8 x |* r1 Z- h; w. n- x& B
But when the lights are out they are invisible
$ } N0 B n# ?8 D! Q1 M$ o+ l% oAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch& Y8 \1 p* J, N+ |& n% }
It starts
: |9 c4 w {$ O* P" ]' u3 t- ?But when I wind up this observation,- R5 E5 G. S3 M+ V5 f/ Y
It ends. |
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