 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?9 [ i: G. d! w, |0 Y
. J5 ^' F) Q; @- D5 @' x8 n2 c ZLet's face it8 E8 n6 }* {* j) `( ]3 f
English is a stupid language.
2 H; P! i) D8 T4 F: o1 q/ N; SThere is no egg in the eggplant
) O! Z9 H& [! X' |* q f4 T3 \No ham in the hamburger7 g! @1 {2 Z! r$ |& ^
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
1 \+ U3 v! W2 I2 J; P7 WEnglish muffins were not invented in England
9 j1 X& T& [- CFrench fries were not invented in France.
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% K7 i m4 m$ Z# z' g8 m6 Z2 {We sometimes take English for granted2 T* Q* x8 k6 M* D, H
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that" e/ P1 z; W$ X7 V$ X& a+ X+ l" n$ q
Quicksand takes you down slowly
% g! M- t9 `5 NBoxing rings are square
y" D: ]. Y" ?* f3 LAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing." w7 x5 m& b# B: {3 j4 i
If the plural of tooth is teeth
3 d% T" X8 [. V' j& XShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
( P/ Y- _7 m7 XIf the teacher taught,& ~& Z. B- t5 X) ^2 b4 ?
Why didn't the preacher praught.4 }( ]* H/ }& I' q% ~. b
2 t8 L# S$ @* C9 R( k. QIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
8 m, H& _6 K8 @ c8 E$ ^What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
; F( {, {1 a' ?/ }Why do people recite at a play
- T0 U N$ ^4 s6 E% ^6 RYet play at a recital? r" A3 m* u1 A0 w
Park on driveways and
s. J0 w# N VDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy6 ^- Z3 s0 \+ ^4 L7 L
Of a language where a house can burn up as
9 e* \- \* @ \- y; @6 |- vIt burns down
5 k* F) z; T( @: l! CAnd in which you fill in a form 2 Z) j6 D0 l* E: }& L/ D; h. J* B
By filling it out
0 V: P7 w" j8 k, F) v e rAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers- W* W" Q- P% D% D
And it reflects the creativity of the human race7 ^/ \, T- `" q( h+ R: I
(Which of course isn't a race at all)1 E' t; G3 O8 H* Y. U- ?! G; a
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That is why
6 U4 I0 |, F$ ~ ^3 h/ L) W5 fWhen the stars are out they are visible# _8 M' R; Y$ A ?0 _. Y9 R( U, v
But when the lights are out they are invisible; V( a% H `" \/ N& @! T. @0 \
And why it is that when I wind up my watch' ?3 c' M, w6 l
It starts
7 o3 i! o' ^0 E' g5 c# W0 }. gBut when I wind up this observation,
2 ^0 m" ~' B6 U8 ~" Q+ ^0 I3 xIt ends. |
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