 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
# A& h3 X C8 M9 {$ L) ?+ M- x8 C PEnglish is a stupid language.) p8 F3 L# x0 R( A' {# Y
There is no egg in the eggplant
* X( D- V$ p- A1 @6 Y3 WNo ham in the hamburger
+ C( y+ Q. u6 [$ }) r- r- p" yAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
9 \( R& T" U* t. x, t6 EEnglish muffins were not invented in England
2 g; C2 i9 Z0 RFrench fries were not invented in France.. b' b& q! }8 b* G% G: Z i$ v$ K
, u6 x% J# _, W% sWe sometimes take English for granted: N; M5 o' Y) h& @! e+ o X
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that" r5 x* T' n5 @* q& B" X
Quicksand takes you down slowly
* J7 h0 @: V( B9 A- V/ P3 IBoxing rings are square j* r5 w8 B, h3 Y1 E* W
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. . e: D# `# N9 t, N0 h% }0 U7 M# |1 l, e
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.4 X1 P! _3 _; t
If the plural of tooth is teeth
! U/ \" C3 ~6 S( v' {Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth* [* W0 [# H. x. o. y4 h5 A! s' z% |
If the teacher taught,) Q- C% t N$ `) {
Why didn't the preacher praught.! T y4 O# t! t$ I ]/ s
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
- Y0 z6 H5 j; d* xWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 V0 b7 c5 `% F" h/ l* z
Why do people recite at a play% r+ ~% |$ K1 S& g% k
Yet play at a recital?
$ e/ H8 |3 r& K. e+ e# |Park on driveways and
: C8 c+ U! C4 WDrive on parkways* d" P+ r8 ~! d# m$ {5 s
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
# ?" d- A l) ~7 j, W6 vOf a language where a house can burn up as
; [8 ?; ^$ W6 O$ V7 A3 |It burns down
8 l$ N4 r! N+ n$ [, F6 Z) yAnd in which you fill in a form
4 q1 w) O! m4 D6 v5 EBy filling it out1 E- G2 @) q. I. C
And a bell is only heard once it goes!1 U; p8 i# C' z* w
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English was invented by people, not computers: \' Q0 ^# r, E" B
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
( m0 q4 q0 Z l+ }. ~, W(Which of course isn't a race at all)0 j1 w$ i, G0 |- W- j
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That is why
: E! R$ Z7 d; A" N4 [When the stars are out they are visible7 v+ p" _9 ?) V2 E0 l
But when the lights are out they are invisible( D( z% m2 w( P' ^9 Q9 G K
And why it is that when I wind up my watch; o; B x" H0 T+ Y- d& Z+ S
It starts
: t, m' t- T8 l( r& E: YBut when I wind up this observation,
) |. w( x5 ]7 o& QIt ends. |
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