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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?) U$ l5 O2 [6 E0 @/ z
' e8 T! U1 k& }9 I5 }; SLet's face it+ i# c& S4 o$ E1 S- C9 i
English is a stupid language.
1 X8 u. K! J# x3 kThere is no egg in the eggplant5 v$ C4 T# N1 F: t, s ?* p5 B
No ham in the hamburger. l" \" `1 q7 V8 p) [! `- m3 o5 F
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.5 s2 U; \0 M5 ^4 ?
English muffins were not invented in England4 ]. s* }# ]1 h5 I% L. ]* r
French fries were not invented in France.' s' Z2 _1 p' R3 L2 |2 c
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We sometimes take English for granted9 V8 h o/ T; c7 T- X6 Y) ?
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that7 Z& r' o" s5 b; v2 ?
Quicksand takes you down slowly [5 g/ P- X3 `. K6 N. b2 m _
Boxing rings are square- `" a+ J. L" I* W C, _
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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- K/ R: ^5 [) Q6 |( |+ cIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
$ T( Q( s! Y5 `# I6 QIf the plural of tooth is teeth
6 B! L' E* m8 t! o( B! hShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
+ a1 w! k+ D# Z0 {If the teacher taught,, c* m6 k$ `$ s. q( f: A2 W( Y
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 s8 D) Z2 Z" @4 gWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?) E, S/ n' R& c; C8 a
Why do people recite at a play1 F/ ?6 l" @; }* Y
Yet play at a recital?/ j( @8 ]- _/ C$ z1 E; }& b& i1 K
Park on driveways and
# W4 O$ w3 V, H PDrive on parkways
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6 D7 ~3 W3 b$ L: h9 H) kYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
1 H+ d) j& K0 Z( |; G b6 mOf a language where a house can burn up as
0 s' i3 O6 Q* A7 q5 xIt burns down
7 V. P0 s* I1 G4 L5 i4 q' g1 DAnd in which you fill in a form
+ R* A2 F$ e t4 D: uBy filling it out
* m: m& U/ D3 d, ], {And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
( a+ L) e2 i9 _; x! f, Y# KAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
T5 F6 I( Z& ~5 [4 C(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
0 o, _* z& z7 WWhen the stars are out they are visible
; t3 A3 U/ x, A& e0 qBut when the lights are out they are invisible
( o% ]0 |6 o4 pAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
. \9 r1 I. t5 ]. e5 P4 `4 oIt starts: F3 W1 o' b2 X+ `
But when I wind up this observation,
8 J8 H$ ^4 \1 K" x! @It ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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