 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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5 s2 I0 S, h; ?6 c. U8 ALet's face it% s9 m' ~6 [: D' o0 _$ X
English is a stupid language.3 e9 K' f( l+ [; Q8 k
There is no egg in the eggplant# W) `2 t! e1 S+ L3 ^( v9 f
No ham in the hamburger
: } J) u/ s0 @- T, sAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple., u( E' n2 X9 o1 z7 T) U
English muffins were not invented in England8 |, x6 E+ a) M* Y4 }% p4 u
French fries were not invented in France.( L" G8 [- h) D6 I: V) I) N
2 e% E4 q# e6 _) O9 T- V4 Y' oWe sometimes take English for granted
+ Y- G5 i- M% ]4 x( q" B m6 nBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, P. i9 ]0 [ y2 N; I5 i; `Quicksand takes you down slowly/ c4 p5 }: w, W) r
Boxing rings are square
, F" }0 v4 G0 }- FAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
; a5 Y- R# G5 ~If the plural of tooth is teeth8 g8 `2 s) ?9 y2 B
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
0 n e; z" p1 G; cIf the teacher taught,
/ B3 p' F' r5 s z" pWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
1 }* f+ ~( A9 }# s# [0 F8 i* ^What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
4 p5 E- {/ E5 w3 j& |" ?Why do people recite at a play
/ P$ i+ v. X2 i. m2 e- ~+ SYet play at a recital?( b' T/ n- ?0 I' N/ m; j9 u) H
Park on driveways and
0 C1 g5 U) }1 B! TDrive on parkways$ q* Z$ d# [$ V4 w
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 O8 z9 ^0 ?( g' l2 L% n$ ]. [Of a language where a house can burn up as4 k7 @8 W) f; ?
It burns down
3 s8 m4 x9 e& L% v8 j# n( aAnd in which you fill in a form
0 a1 T: `5 \3 cBy filling it out( p( e5 r9 j$ F6 R, r. `: J) y8 D0 f
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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# l; [5 Z2 L2 W2 q: Y ^5 iEnglish was invented by people, not computers+ Y- B! l1 ]8 ~: H2 g8 @% @
And it reflects the creativity of the human race6 @% _# X( `0 z: P% h- b
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why5 k" j7 H* t8 t4 u" b, R; ?
When the stars are out they are visible8 K6 ]5 x# J) n# i" x
But when the lights are out they are invisible
. C% j9 A8 C. S9 mAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
% E7 s- c9 c$ G% IIt starts& [& f: P( L* e! t8 u% v
But when I wind up this observation,
/ s I7 @0 ]' F+ B% `/ AIt ends. |
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