 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?7 O3 t* E5 W5 J e* O( V
- a/ f# d- s( R2 fLet's face it3 h& T( m7 ~! N+ y- ]0 z
English is a stupid language.
( K( W8 O) }. YThere is no egg in the eggplant
5 n& P9 Z G- i, |* S$ ONo ham in the hamburger, I5 p$ j. p5 A+ g4 j2 P& b% l
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.' k3 c0 B+ ?% Y5 I! o
English muffins were not invented in England* G8 l& @& K5 S& r
French fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted% q& h! ^. L& K' o
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
9 ?! W1 Q, \/ \8 `$ {Quicksand takes you down slowly
$ l. d. [6 v, k8 TBoxing rings are square
# ]5 G/ L9 G; n- i7 MAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 2 I4 G" o9 [6 @, j! c
+ U0 R9 j6 m- lIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.* Y8 i: A; u2 ]5 }6 C; x k( y
If the plural of tooth is teeth
: _1 _8 h! E( |% Z% y' vShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
- g Y# g# y9 @( t: S. n' m L7 EIf the teacher taught,2 S ]; m% ^" _# ]- j. N
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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$ V+ `) K" D! p% c! T9 |1 h+ b2 N. yIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
, x1 M& z# G; `3 OWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?2 o& L; O, }; ^& g% ]' v! v
Why do people recite at a play. U5 _; [ L; V. |
Yet play at a recital?' M5 X. E, [: l0 K' c3 j3 K( J
Park on driveways and6 l; g( K$ e2 v. { o1 j, C
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
- p+ |" y( s8 B4 J! Q, ZOf a language where a house can burn up as2 Z( g% u4 t$ R' a0 J5 y
It burns down$ Y3 k* Z1 ^- s) d% W
And in which you fill in a form $ {. }* y7 o# U! ^2 I$ ?
By filling it out# W0 b; [5 s( t8 n" B& ?
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers9 ]2 d3 O4 P5 M' ~% L* q+ |: w
And it reflects the creativity of the human race& ] m' Z1 O5 v4 P' j! u" S& ], L
(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 Y6 j6 h: ?2 E& Q m1 N
6 c& e& |+ l' p' Q) d, W( P% \That is why
% O% R. T+ Z" Y8 k8 W* IWhen the stars are out they are visible
' y5 c/ a' v8 M6 l( jBut when the lights are out they are invisible
! t1 i2 ~- i: c- v. w: _And why it is that when I wind up my watch
2 |7 D6 b$ S& A* s X" FIt starts
" u" G# x; |( l' T. pBut when I wind up this observation,
( g* K+ q* ]& S% E9 w! R: vIt ends. |
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