 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it- C8 {. y6 ^& V# G7 E
English is a stupid language.% _3 Q0 f0 Y8 _
There is no egg in the eggplant
) K9 c" F2 }8 R+ z, x X5 i3 [) bNo ham in the hamburger( Z# {# r, y5 m
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
" e2 C9 K) ? J9 o/ |, JEnglish muffins were not invented in England
! }) Q2 ~ I W6 E4 i& M) @& H$ S7 IFrench fries were not invented in France.
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5 c: Y2 h3 A/ d1 y& c6 oWe sometimes take English for granted" q$ q& T9 g1 t
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that* j' d. }& g+ d( l! X
Quicksand takes you down slowly! V- @- ^- d- p7 v$ R
Boxing rings are square
! Q7 f% P( Q+ l2 \6 cAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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& ^ S& s5 i$ |' c1 HIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
. c0 p1 w/ `, l7 }If the plural of tooth is teeth \6 k8 r5 l) u) F2 a) P, W
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
6 V% W1 U2 C$ Q: }" t8 o; _: iIf the teacher taught,
; Y* n: c6 m9 C$ rWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables: v) k4 @* e7 x6 Q% T# }; e
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
2 j4 ]$ Y* j- _Why do people recite at a play$ g, P: u' i2 g
Yet play at a recital?
4 D( q' o/ q* R' S% t% pPark on driveways and
0 W- Y! s, V# G, iDrive on parkways! A* H$ h- @0 K' V! I
5 r2 s9 ~ p' Z0 w3 w8 }You have to marvel at the unique lunacy7 X( Z* Z1 I/ b4 ^6 q) g
Of a language where a house can burn up as
6 b! r( A: d! X( l* W$ t, V( yIt burns down
, [ e9 V- E$ Z9 i1 q+ s! M" DAnd in which you fill in a form
* v$ M6 U' A* }' U$ T7 k! I( cBy filling it out
8 \7 `6 ?. _7 c: s6 AAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!" }0 r3 `5 x+ e: ~; k
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English was invented by people, not computers
, h4 i. ]- A7 P6 M/ CAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race% a3 }5 I& h6 e" R
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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# j4 ^1 k a: S4 }That is why7 ]* L& S1 N; Q; e: |
When the stars are out they are visible9 c) n2 @6 f- s( ^8 v' ~
But when the lights are out they are invisible/ [- {) t0 R2 s9 P9 ~
And why it is that when I wind up my watch6 @/ r4 }8 p' w1 `6 C: z
It starts
3 g8 ~5 h$ v- I' `. FBut when I wind up this observation,' h# s: Y1 ~4 M# p$ L
It ends. |
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