 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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4 V* p% L3 w" o4 ?5 l" J. gLet's face it+ I# p. k0 ?6 v) b5 }0 _
English is a stupid language.
- B$ o; n3 \0 SThere is no egg in the eggplant: e7 ?9 N- v( ?8 u# X
No ham in the hamburger9 a5 y1 p( a$ u% b7 u+ Q
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
" ~$ Y9 k+ X& d+ Y* yEnglish muffins were not invented in England
1 [' o% X8 W1 bFrench fries were not invented in France.
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( w( D2 v6 t8 \: p; XWe sometimes take English for granted" c. n$ \* b+ F9 i3 V+ u3 G7 F- I
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, p) `, Y0 D- R* O& k- PQuicksand takes you down slowly4 X/ I1 v2 d+ x0 f
Boxing rings are square: W& H1 {2 R/ Z+ \
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. " Z( ^; i5 H! Z$ c& b$ n0 l. `6 h; u
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
" C$ H* b. ?6 f- C$ rIf the plural of tooth is teeth z$ L* E( o$ ~% j1 U' t" T ]
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
$ e! ~3 Z1 Z" K/ W' SIf the teacher taught,8 Z: ~9 P& Y% ~
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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' f* X# f+ t% h `9 n j; JIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, u8 u1 s+ G' ~- n- P( M* F( D
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?8 D9 j) Z( k+ X3 z" H7 o# }! V
Why do people recite at a play2 P/ {. e) N& \1 H8 h9 B% @
Yet play at a recital?
$ |0 K x. ]4 NPark on driveways and8 O1 X% G" Z1 Y( Y2 ?& H: ]1 R" ?2 c
Drive on parkways7 s- s/ _5 j% q8 J5 [ H3 p
3 c9 u5 L2 i: H" |3 o2 ?You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
7 w4 q. n, r; a& {" L; JOf a language where a house can burn up as; S7 G/ _$ f7 w5 _. R6 w. \
It burns down
, O' R) p( l: M4 H% HAnd in which you fill in a form
5 |0 `5 f, p) ^4 B0 r) C OBy filling it out
4 d5 f/ c3 W9 p: T* l/ tAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!) d( T' u9 C( `: i1 B; w9 @. ~
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English was invented by people, not computers
) c, [/ R0 L, C& YAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
6 O; U9 W$ y3 F+ `8 V$ e. u2 L, ~(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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4 [, }5 j0 i3 F: o- lThat is why
& e; ?8 Z2 |( A3 R: cWhen the stars are out they are visible1 ?% i2 h" w! m$ S+ R
But when the lights are out they are invisible6 W. v" ~8 z7 X- f- A+ _7 A, \
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
/ U1 K9 C6 D& x' T- ~It starts7 X, ~/ Q+ X6 j! `& ~3 r. _; j
But when I wind up this observation,
2 t3 v q5 m5 e, p7 w, JIt ends. |
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