 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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^' l' n& V" G$ S& y2 Z& A' PLet's face it
( {2 a' S! G- k b* T: L& v7 ]English is a stupid language.
0 T a1 M5 Q, e3 y: d- fThere is no egg in the eggplant
% r; h7 T; Z6 O6 u% lNo ham in the hamburger1 [+ c( z4 a/ H* e' `0 V
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.4 }' A/ U* t5 X! r. T) m
English muffins were not invented in England, w2 F9 S4 s/ k' W0 t
French fries were not invented in France.8 ]0 _; z: M8 F
# H% z3 c2 W# Y# h9 {% M1 @: @5 dWe sometimes take English for granted" k0 X9 [( ~# h) {: P
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that8 Y& C2 Y/ r6 u$ I2 O$ ~
Quicksand takes you down slowly# d! W7 M1 w7 |$ O
Boxing rings are square
# w' D' x" j$ h, cAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.' r+ @# R/ i. B; n" D
If the plural of tooth is teeth
: R: W7 I3 r4 `5 N2 j; JShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth& V+ L3 j' Z5 r; f- l& G7 `4 T4 a
If the teacher taught,
3 i" W% a1 B: t" o# |Why didn't the preacher praught.2 b+ W$ t$ k& P
/ f. G. p A) r* m7 \, mIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 T c5 U& E" P6 q% ?$ BWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?6 x/ v, z1 d7 O' h2 \& x4 L) C, Q
Why do people recite at a play
" R/ D0 a( F6 o( y0 s# oYet play at a recital?) O- b& c% C9 p7 {2 @
Park on driveways and
) `; L6 @4 S0 w3 c9 oDrive on parkways7 u1 x: c2 l4 m' s# G& K
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
- R) [, x& V' c' kOf a language where a house can burn up as
/ c( e- Q+ z, Q# A3 bIt burns down% |% {# u) [; s( ~
And in which you fill in a form 6 O' p6 N+ l$ ~! T; W, o, Q7 M' C# Q
By filling it out/ I* B* J. i, c! X) w5 a6 u/ R5 Y
And a bell is only heard once it goes!, y Y" X1 k2 e) j m! R {% q2 s
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English was invented by people, not computers4 F9 f+ l, Z9 [$ q/ G; X R3 K
And it reflects the creativity of the human race2 Q6 v3 ?, a7 i# `. J* e$ K& Y2 L& y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)( @' i, g7 }/ G
4 @: G( t$ [. z4 Y" {$ t4 ^That is why
' y# b1 _& c! h9 z: u; j; @When the stars are out they are visible7 M, v: m3 n4 F( L- k; f% r
But when the lights are out they are invisible
, j/ g, n" m5 FAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch9 y; x) z1 p4 b* Z% L( h
It starts
3 e5 y" x: \& i8 p, x1 WBut when I wind up this observation,
2 `6 h! e/ D7 ]! |It ends. |
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