 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it9 f' C* E4 M0 H. H" v% l- u/ n
English is a stupid language.# ], S& C) D2 C: z
There is no egg in the eggplant% j7 V0 b0 ]6 }7 C7 W
No ham in the hamburger
/ Y Q3 e# Z& y& sAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.) s4 B- E! ~2 a7 E/ O. \6 ^$ i
English muffins were not invented in England) }" d- N$ B9 B2 i9 B1 u, L# j: {
French fries were not invented in France. M* j( V4 s0 l/ p+ D8 F0 u
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We sometimes take English for granted5 e+ h- J2 o2 s1 i
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that0 A& D+ o$ C( `5 w9 T9 o" d
Quicksand takes you down slowly
# `( [) Y# l$ K6 q; DBoxing rings are square, y" k2 B* ~1 g: f+ x/ A) \) X
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. / p5 n: x- x6 ^+ u; V: z
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
7 r8 t' r: c+ E/ [If the plural of tooth is teeth
" L K% |* ]" {2 `9 zShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth( Q A1 K6 w' z0 H5 q# T* z
If the teacher taught,, Y" l5 {, s7 Y; b4 ]5 \! b. ^
Why didn't the preacher praught.0 ]6 n/ s4 J' r# x: l d5 w
7 K2 B; h9 x7 B# ~* H" B3 D" HIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
% `* W: w. \& A7 c! I1 S6 f/ TWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!? [( e ]1 q% ~" i& ?: f7 T
Why do people recite at a play- s" h- A+ G( ~. C
Yet play at a recital?
" L1 c8 W' P! Z: Z9 ]! GPark on driveways and
* z5 A% J# n W% F7 K- |Drive on parkways& ]' n, z5 C: V3 u4 R* h' m
; b! x* ?+ l, }+ e. A1 TYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
) _6 f8 U' ~5 s9 O( q2 @: W6 E5 w X& cOf a language where a house can burn up as. x, G0 S5 K0 b( Z
It burns down
0 I6 u q+ L! d" ~3 ?And in which you fill in a form e! H' K9 F, b6 |: W
By filling it out
, k4 X7 P+ B( w% J/ P$ e, u# o: s) NAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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r- w' }, i& a- y5 b" L% m/ a8 _+ j. QEnglish was invented by people, not computers8 ^; `% S( B7 V
And it reflects the creativity of the human race5 z0 Y* ?3 |' g( C: y" e
(Which of course isn't a race at all)/ U! z4 B V9 [4 m
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That is why3 @2 o" J# I5 ~! A. B, X' p
When the stars are out they are visible# A- I. [# v( v9 }' a
But when the lights are out they are invisible
2 ~# c9 L/ `' t" b9 Q* j6 mAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
v$ t7 t) T! l4 W3 GIt starts1 E) R+ z; q# `
But when I wind up this observation,; l& ~1 n# U! N' p# `2 K% h+ k% J
It ends. |
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