 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it' v, X# m( g' D
English is a stupid language.
' q: u# ]" g% @, c n3 MThere is no egg in the eggplant
7 S( K4 ?0 d- FNo ham in the hamburger5 L# X1 ?) p( S5 z( O" R \
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.+ G6 I/ P4 z# R
English muffins were not invented in England
+ g; W- ~; o& k) c% n1 TFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted/ @# b, v( c, x- s6 I2 }) d8 [; ]
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
; s1 {' n5 Q5 D; e) `! UQuicksand takes you down slowly
$ n6 ?, v" R4 S8 WBoxing rings are square8 f4 V4 v, h+ P+ N. l6 c
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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0 u; {6 h1 B) E3 }4 |If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
; w; t7 x* X; C3 cIf the plural of tooth is teeth! l A; a. c9 @; X8 J
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
$ A7 v, j# i( H# E; S4 {$ P: xIf the teacher taught,& o" J5 g. q. Y/ k" P
Why didn't the preacher praught.1 `. U6 e5 g) f1 e2 v0 }# K
, @+ g, _4 {& p: |( s# v. l1 |If a vegetarian eats vegetables
; a9 M* e0 j; p+ v* o, H9 a ^1 j0 LWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
" m4 F3 S) }, D1 Z4 pWhy do people recite at a play
! b- C( _! S) z/ {7 H8 y- YYet play at a recital?
0 W- m7 I: J5 h! @Park on driveways and
. C) [( a; X2 @+ O6 F8 s9 ADrive on parkways
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' J1 S I, E! ~! I- i2 yYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
; @8 b5 o$ \4 {: oOf a language where a house can burn up as
4 ^" _# W" t( f6 r( Q. o- YIt burns down" N9 y' t$ k* ^+ x0 H" ?
And in which you fill in a form , F. r+ ?7 \0 ?, o
By filling it out* [2 C: I3 [0 i4 h
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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3 p4 \ c* Z8 k4 }5 EEnglish was invented by people, not computers
( Y0 g/ U ?8 d/ _) _# aAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race3 \" {) t* N( l! ^9 I
(Which of course isn't a race at all): r" F7 s4 k7 g! y
* y; E) A% N$ } ^' cThat is why
3 X4 [, G9 B' }0 n3 `. o! SWhen the stars are out they are visible
# d/ X: Z$ y' y, S+ \( t) D$ wBut when the lights are out they are invisible
4 R" v e: V% `. KAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
. W* `+ q2 a0 }$ D. NIt starts
3 N. L, z, i) y+ I ZBut when I wind up this observation,
5 W: E! M3 A5 bIt ends. |
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