 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?/ q. o' _0 L, V* X0 k# T' F
: B; V6 p1 P# D5 T- ^Let's face it3 F6 G1 ]% H# n+ d
English is a stupid language.; M& t2 s( e0 M' v. U
There is no egg in the eggplant3 p! t: C6 l! c& N: U/ X
No ham in the hamburger
1 K5 W/ }; H, J4 H( Y, h2 S' ^And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
& L4 b- i% M$ S4 T3 Y, TEnglish muffins were not invented in England* w; ~, R' o2 k$ y
French fries were not invented in France.2 N2 e, l* D* W
+ v9 l; d/ d$ u# [4 q$ B4 d! o9 yWe sometimes take English for granted n1 f& U1 I" n7 z! b
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
! _% a) X3 B7 q2 |3 |/ ~3 mQuicksand takes you down slowly e& o% y* M/ V6 V
Boxing rings are square
8 S9 ^8 _6 }" A4 r3 EAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 2 Q6 X- _/ M2 R4 ?* ]8 m
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.( j$ ]$ Y/ J7 j2 X+ I0 k
If the plural of tooth is teeth3 Z" \, u. _! K# T( x; G
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
8 Z! t! \( v/ nIf the teacher taught,
1 C$ K+ Z% K% ^; u8 q* A1 G. ?Why didn't the preacher praught.3 O- y. U3 B) c) G
: ?( H7 A$ B/ }! O: i% eIf a vegetarian eats vegetables! L% w. |( W$ o# [
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?8 e6 s) K6 l8 V: {! `* [
Why do people recite at a play
+ g' o5 \; L8 T: {) { C" p8 YYet play at a recital?3 a: \9 {4 u$ _. \
Park on driveways and
' C( [" z, M3 f( bDrive on parkways7 J0 `6 j4 o2 T/ Y' w. I% f/ y
# W; n. j5 V3 f4 dYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy+ S: Z, m3 l* q, K* |! Y
Of a language where a house can burn up as, o3 ^: s8 @& P% }: Q* E0 ~$ ^
It burns down$ [. k! d! O! C. @
And in which you fill in a form - }( K* f9 t7 j L. w2 L
By filling it out$ L+ F/ y; m# f) ^
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers& q2 y4 W! F: ]1 F$ B) T
And it reflects the creativity of the human race/ Z8 K7 \4 c9 X
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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$ d4 w" i, A) M" u# P: yThat is why: U& O: r- b% `
When the stars are out they are visible+ ]6 ?$ V- m5 n7 H V9 }
But when the lights are out they are invisible
, H1 ^3 @0 B+ wAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch6 k' u( m* F1 Z7 _
It starts. x7 O3 ?& a7 v% J7 P+ z
But when I wind up this observation,
2 q! P2 E; [, T$ L, bIt ends. |
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