Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?, N( g, }- x2 M2 y
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Let's face it* H5 y! K4 X8 R& N) v" J# ~
English is a stupid language. $ e& Z4 a- r9 mThere is no egg in the eggplant / [' x: P [$ G# ]* S2 t& ]" uNo ham in the hamburger) D6 [$ W+ n6 @* T3 E8 B
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.& s% e5 o' R- O9 j4 C$ e( @
English muffins were not invented in England7 _$ @$ N C E) Z" L3 e1 U
French fries were not invented in France.# I" J( Q6 I1 k( b$ Q* a. p1 B7 L
1 }( ~* A1 T. C4 P0 U/ D9 c9 BWe sometimes take English for granted 5 ^1 u# N7 U+ c& I/ u% d6 wBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that . ~8 P- I) `$ {$ a1 z5 xQuicksand takes you down slowly 8 `$ o& u# J7 D) T5 _6 PBoxing rings are square # B" X b: l8 tAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. : H7 d% x0 ?& G
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. 0 W0 [! W- E( {If the plural of tooth is teeth 1 s+ k! v) L( D# W' {2 QShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth 6 E$ I( {0 f! zIf the teacher taught,6 S6 A* s1 h) ]" f7 W* k; O
Why didn't the preacher praught. {: b* @5 k0 c6 u/ ^7 _1 a5 \1 T4 |5 h' ]* t' z* K* }
If a vegetarian eats vegetables ) r4 k. w9 N/ g$ {4 w1 RWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?: R% u3 Q" F9 j t3 s
Why do people recite at a play 4 E: g/ P+ G2 s" z& }Yet play at a recital?6 J8 I! N+ j/ ]( `8 {+ |
Park on driveways and ; Z; _7 `3 Y2 j9 R7 E# x! D$ dDrive on parkways / D8 {; i" P- g, _0 }0 E. L5 D0 F0 c0 k7 \! O" O" `+ \
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy" ^" M3 K& }; w3 [4 X
Of a language where a house can burn up as : N# G$ D& w f( G* k' AIt burns down , ^ o4 h# F3 I2 a4 M+ VAnd in which you fill in a form 0 b ?9 ^4 d( A5 ~7 ^By filling it out % y9 a, w) i% L0 f) Z( J- wAnd a bell is only heard once it goes! ( `8 p5 {" ?" a 2 X& p* ~7 X% S- u( A- [English was invented by people, not computers- ^$ h# A$ z9 d" Y+ G4 _
And it reflects the creativity of the human race9 ] D* `* g, q \& n- x$ d! A1 b* V! Z
(Which of course isn't a race at all) 4 y5 f" u9 I; j. ?# B* ~ d! M! b1 j4 Y
That is why - o- e S8 ^: k5 Q- j4 O" NWhen the stars are out they are visible % P" d" _& x" dBut when the lights are out they are invisible2 E7 [5 E* }9 H- q- B3 z6 D( u; M
And why it is that when I wind up my watch ) x2 l; e6 P% y4 o T! ^9 |; Z& dIt starts " @. w8 U9 P3 R( M, w- Y* t9 iBut when I wind up this observation,$ R6 y! j6 {- y
It ends.
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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