English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
' ~' f1 H/ j& Q. \; k- _
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
; y- u! z7 P1 s) R& K6 R% jThere is no egg in the eggplant
* O- N2 N0 X8 {No ham in the hamburger
( {. L3 U# a9 a! b; JAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
& z/ I; G0 F# |# A# l' I- {French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
. O3 w% o! @* @, n( CBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
; l& g# m' G! z  J. q* HQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
! F4 |4 a# E2 _$ `, rAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

2 R! \: s/ |6 ]8 l5 \2 mIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
2 @' V2 N1 S, r1 o! t* \4 b% MIf the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
4 n+ \. _6 Q$ T/ C6 JWhy didn't the preacher praught.
7 d' ]' A+ c9 G5 {# ?- v$ r
# t- G3 E- ?6 l# F" {If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
6 p( h: ]! e3 F  s) AWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
+ f8 {; S& S2 ?Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
2 D& x' E+ U' w9 I" ^By filling it out
+ K" ?5 e* a9 \And a bell is only heard once it goes!

; K5 O. G2 z  o+ ~2 PEnglish was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
( {) P7 c/ l: Z; s% H  EBut when the lights are out they are invisible
" S2 s% G2 }. N8 L- p2 eAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
# Q! t0 E6 \% e9 S4 AIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
9 g# k2 Q& Q+ V9 e, y1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
$ ~$ e8 e" V- f2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
) A3 q. ?- z& e2 A( U5 I& l% i. C9 w3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
& h1 Z5 L. |" O: t5 E我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

  E% [% Z( W) g) \0 [( E4 [1 @
1 ]1 W, B2 _2 W7 j谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
1 n2 Z2 C+ y" h) G实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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