 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?. ~) K9 a4 T( P' ~
% a1 j9 l9 C( Q+ |Let's face it
/ w$ [1 v/ @( hEnglish is a stupid language.- j% k' t4 A! u- V4 Y
There is no egg in the eggplant8 m! H7 l% ^5 o) w2 u. Z4 U9 x
No ham in the hamburger
- m' \$ T8 K7 ^* kAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
z+ u4 G2 V, q2 Y1 |1 ?2 z! V( K0 TEnglish muffins were not invented in England* m; \- S7 b( R$ l9 Q6 I) [
French fries were not invented in France." z4 U0 q+ F& k: a5 W4 s
7 V/ ?+ a0 D9 G8 {( IWe sometimes take English for granted" v, y3 K9 M/ F: Z7 g' m
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
. a! f$ I" t( f4 }* eQuicksand takes you down slowly) o, e" p/ ]- ]' N
Boxing rings are square$ f3 R0 g; d7 G% d% D
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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3 v& y6 J2 u0 m, ZIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing. a: ?. b7 E+ \6 E
If the plural of tooth is teeth
4 p9 e. K, K* A2 p- N% ^1 DShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth& o4 Q& b& N: Y( z0 N
If the teacher taught,
$ \) N9 B+ R# ^" u9 w! z% MWhy didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables" F( ]% @/ c- i+ r% W1 x, A# r2 _
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
9 ~7 G1 C- Y& g% ~4 M8 SWhy do people recite at a play# ?: h; E* A3 }8 n% ` {
Yet play at a recital?
4 X Y! v3 i7 c; \" y' w) ]Park on driveways and% X. J- U& b7 w2 _% o- A( {. ~, f
Drive on parkways
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; x7 n/ a/ K6 U4 ~: ZYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy. b' p+ b! M$ j. }
Of a language where a house can burn up as0 n1 j* Q4 r" r3 |
It burns down5 _3 i' X. r/ r6 S# Y; q
And in which you fill in a form * I9 X1 w. A$ e& K u
By filling it out
9 t2 K2 a5 H w# aAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!3 M+ d" C0 v% g
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English was invented by people, not computers
8 F7 U5 V1 g7 Q4 C9 @" gAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race( u3 |/ A8 f: m+ S' _" v4 Y
(Which of course isn't a race at all)9 C6 p+ P" _6 k, v8 O" e) s9 ?% V+ E* E
& f1 y, e! Y- a1 G/ ?3 V) iThat is why
0 U/ H; \( x: l6 s+ j8 R9 E( m" [When the stars are out they are visible/ v: T' S2 G; U* j) ^5 |- k$ b
But when the lights are out they are invisible
# v" f9 P# d$ k! Y1 s# C) oAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
; ~: F! U" ]" c$ s8 a5 JIt starts
, x! M; k {- I+ u7 \& lBut when I wind up this observation,' O2 N- b* C& B% J! L7 z# h
It ends. |
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