 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?8 g$ E% W8 Q5 U& i
0 M3 K$ d1 a! i8 l6 }Let's face it/ c' [$ j8 h8 _
English is a stupid language.8 l" i; x. b$ O
There is no egg in the eggplant+ Q" N1 A/ ?( q) E8 ~ Y
No ham in the hamburger. | |# q% x# u9 k) G
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. a' D. y1 L2 D. I' o! ~
English muffins were not invented in England
& j! D- u! L# J1 xFrench fries were not invented in France.
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8 }5 P3 \1 {" k0 I! G5 u9 Z: hWe sometimes take English for granted, X3 H0 D6 ~6 {# Z& B7 y' V w
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that# c* a3 L, ^: {2 |' T
Quicksand takes you down slowly3 x. y& b7 y1 f/ [4 v
Boxing rings are square
; L. k$ R( E* WAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.: ~- {! Y, l0 L0 L4 \" Z0 O3 [2 o
If the plural of tooth is teeth( L/ U" h3 o8 y, K- D" m
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
- F7 ]9 |# A3 oIf the teacher taught,) v* O. _* ^" G+ U8 ]; h$ ~
Why didn't the preacher praught.1 W6 ?! k; {! u
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
7 }5 K; O2 G5 `; s6 K! B- fWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
9 {: c% ]" p9 t* `2 `1 ~. mWhy do people recite at a play3 N% k% w) R0 D F
Yet play at a recital?: P3 r5 j, ]5 N! A+ y/ T
Park on driveways and
+ o5 I. y0 d3 m+ c! J, vDrive on parkways
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) H! D4 T! r, v+ u& l7 |% bYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy0 p# f' z/ D* i9 y8 c$ q8 o
Of a language where a house can burn up as) [+ z5 q0 s2 L$ W. `
It burns down h8 U3 a: F, k0 ^
And in which you fill in a form
$ V& w# X9 D) N+ v yBy filling it out
7 v1 a8 ?9 P; VAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!, s( b( V) ?. H/ \8 N
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English was invented by people, not computers2 E# x* ]$ ?0 }
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
& ]2 ? i% S% C) N. m! ](Which of course isn't a race at all)! k+ ]' H+ b5 W0 {( w
9 z4 |2 V: I0 H( ^9 {That is why. d/ u2 u9 z b8 V
When the stars are out they are visible: I( i. C- L/ }. `
But when the lights are out they are invisible. f x6 W6 N7 c: b+ z1 N# b9 R. o" ~
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
2 C, L( ^ ]5 T |5 T1 v. qIt starts. y( o* E0 C2 j" g% a
But when I wind up this observation,
~' ~' }+ _3 {6 W7 H, `) W7 ?9 dIt ends. |
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