 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
|
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?5 A+ g' w( J% u/ _ K" L
- O) `& l& _0 R, j# NLet's face it
- X. y O: ~4 U! w0 q. j! tEnglish is a stupid language.
- z9 X; M W, ?3 F6 zThere is no egg in the eggplant
5 \; N/ ?# }) Y/ L) LNo ham in the hamburger
3 V4 ^/ s& c4 h6 G ]And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple." a7 e$ l) o! V' r# Z
English muffins were not invented in England
M. m, [4 v2 z- MFrench fries were not invented in France.( \/ M' `! U; ^# c! S. h: W2 h0 X
5 _1 T' F8 I% i$ @We sometimes take English for granted& A, f9 A, `2 @# c& ^1 r1 [) i
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
6 g# z, S$ X \7 Z* NQuicksand takes you down slowly
; B4 ^* q" t7 y/ TBoxing rings are square
* X' h$ _# [# ?+ Q5 nAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
. R+ Q! {! {5 \/ ~7 b& [4 K d+ \9 a
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
, P5 B9 r& l1 p# F+ vIf the plural of tooth is teeth. F+ X S( Y4 X% c6 h5 o: {
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth4 r5 k0 v5 T! ^0 C. P% P
If the teacher taught,' ]4 l7 g# X: y: ?9 \1 X
Why didn't the preacher praught.
3 B, T+ M. a( a5 r5 B' |* f7 c* C& I9 {6 {/ @8 ~; _
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 f% t# ]" W0 _: cWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?$ ], F/ w3 z5 ~' P
Why do people recite at a play
/ j3 u3 W4 i" L* b8 j4 |2 QYet play at a recital?, {& H9 L2 Y+ O- U" i0 v. y
Park on driveways and. l8 W. y( K7 D& }- t6 }
Drive on parkways
% o$ p! b) P# o! l a$ t
4 f+ U) `5 W. J8 E, UYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy: S) o8 Y0 ?) ^
Of a language where a house can burn up as5 e+ W1 W7 L+ n% Y( }, m! q- q
It burns down+ v5 v4 _4 [# {! g3 D$ }( n) a& Z4 S
And in which you fill in a form
2 U$ _7 ]# p7 H c1 A: n( g" t, qBy filling it out
: f) E8 H" {0 ?: i3 WAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!1 e* o% R9 Y% _) ^9 v9 m
9 z* K, L5 ~( K/ QEnglish was invented by people, not computers5 w; t$ x& G; Y: {7 \4 O# N+ B; M, ^
And it reflects the creativity of the human race/ @ r1 {7 p4 h0 h/ O
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
! A8 L" }! m0 u, b$ u
Y# v) q. `6 @( JThat is why. I0 m. B' h. h, X R$ a* N# Q
When the stars are out they are visible
; H$ Q9 j0 B. P. c, eBut when the lights are out they are invisible" Q/ W4 P5 z+ W' k6 F1 b
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
( k3 ?% D& {8 d) [+ Y. W2 x% t( ]It starts
- ~. p3 q; r% [9 KBut when I wind up this observation,
9 w2 d& h1 e" f0 g& _# d, VIt ends. |
|