 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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$ |5 H4 o( ?, m9 B7 z6 JLet's face it
' \9 \# ?0 Y# _4 R$ ZEnglish is a stupid language.1 b* V% q4 s3 m, o* G( Y
There is no egg in the eggplant7 m1 N. O l4 W, Q- r- z- ]
No ham in the hamburger$ h/ e7 x7 F6 }3 \ c2 y
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.( E5 B8 x/ H8 d* i1 M7 R: l
English muffins were not invented in England- G, g+ Q. B) B, _, b
French fries were not invented in France.
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2 U/ m; E |: u3 C, C/ ]% BWe sometimes take English for granted
2 h/ o- _/ A- N+ n1 nBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that0 A% Y) P3 K% L9 a
Quicksand takes you down slowly9 w5 L8 p' t* j, m1 p9 @
Boxing rings are square
- I G& |9 c0 P8 j# EAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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6 I [! G4 l7 r5 J) R& f3 }If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
! @& I: g" f5 \If the plural of tooth is teeth
$ l+ I4 U+ c0 g! _, K, N5 ` TShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
$ Q* ~& |! p' r1 M: j- QIf the teacher taught,
" B6 u, P" N5 H4 V' kWhy didn't the preacher praught.6 u0 t3 {1 L' g% X
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables1 x( l- r b( k# Y
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
# q8 F0 O9 o/ K k2 Z: tWhy do people recite at a play
\7 o4 Q& [/ aYet play at a recital?6 M" s7 O! M# d/ a6 B6 R
Park on driveways and
$ A, a0 J2 \9 l2 X. P- @& ~; PDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
9 T. h: ]4 m4 oOf a language where a house can burn up as/ U6 u! s9 z) c5 y
It burns down
/ R% t: l9 h o$ zAnd in which you fill in a form 7 Q! N! m+ x# H+ P
By filling it out
1 g5 Q! C) d) a% S$ w$ M- W3 r. tAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!2 P1 ? ]- k$ c6 m' @0 ?
5 u9 l/ g- s( m0 p8 o2 ]7 JEnglish was invented by people, not computers
) i. Y. z. j- p7 S7 Q, ]And it reflects the creativity of the human race
d8 x* ?% C! p- p(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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" A- c: I; _- p: r+ DThat is why, P' S& q. H6 W# R$ f; y! a& ?
When the stars are out they are visible+ d8 g) e! [) r% C, v3 ^$ x8 y% O
But when the lights are out they are invisible
! k3 X9 {0 f; z/ ]+ `. k6 a7 o9 |And why it is that when I wind up my watch. b5 z3 A6 f! D/ E* Z3 Y9 x
It starts! P! i, U( _' H' T: P. _; N
But when I wind up this observation,5 X3 P @0 M/ L5 Q0 ~. Z
It ends. |
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