 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?- L5 |9 E6 T2 m; B+ E7 T) q
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Let's face it6 b* K& J0 N4 l
English is a stupid language.
3 X, ~" Z! T3 d0 x0 L! wThere is no egg in the eggplant( i) N* W) A Y( Q$ b
No ham in the hamburger5 v) J: F6 C/ O7 E" P
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple." B: c- M* F% Z( w6 Z8 r
English muffins were not invented in England. [3 k- L( _9 ?6 c0 |1 c4 b
French fries were not invented in France.: P" n! B5 |& X1 P. ?: W
1 \8 q( a7 \4 N6 Z1 ]We sometimes take English for granted
# l( O& j& a/ o% S* f5 R2 Q& MBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
& q7 @& c# u4 I- `$ s3 PQuicksand takes you down slowly# e; ]6 a k. f |( ]
Boxing rings are square
J: o5 r4 R7 _: B C0 n' R. ?3 x$ QAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
2 {+ ]4 ^' j4 V7 iIf the plural of tooth is teeth
" X, M6 I8 ]2 o3 s. V) W# F9 UShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
: l7 T: R$ T) k. m0 ?If the teacher taught,% M8 l, ^; f, L: l7 [/ M4 t9 T
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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* v0 L8 L* i/ k$ R: ?If a vegetarian eats vegetables
4 R" O- O! Q7 U/ yWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?, |4 |6 u1 \) ?5 e
Why do people recite at a play
! i1 r, k# f7 D p& G a5 ~Yet play at a recital?
# l+ Y: r3 s8 ?' NPark on driveways and; h0 v8 f3 m2 t, Y. ]+ V3 x. h
Drive on parkways8 M$ I+ C$ [) \! {9 ]& Y
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy9 q: T( V$ W) R' @5 I/ r1 c
Of a language where a house can burn up as
; |$ l# o, c3 N1 }+ {" lIt burns down
) B: G+ X! f4 w( o9 s8 U# ZAnd in which you fill in a form # l1 q _! c Y+ i5 l
By filling it out
# m& S& ~. s+ \: s1 Z+ z8 yAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!. Q0 h e# L" c0 C2 t. i# \
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English was invented by people, not computers
1 ?2 N+ C8 Y3 c8 C CAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race) b3 W- Y [ p G% f7 j$ y
(Which of course isn't a race at all) f8 H2 Q/ J% X. M0 Z: |( Y; c
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That is why
7 z4 p3 L6 q8 x1 D, v' ?( L+ z3 PWhen the stars are out they are visible
- T0 M3 J7 a, J! G% o( N6 d0 K b% kBut when the lights are out they are invisible6 I, ?/ S( B* y
And why it is that when I wind up my watch6 F+ l* |+ {, G) |- v [% y, X
It starts
6 s' K- d0 s, L' h4 {' `But when I wind up this observation,. {3 l; Z- N1 W' b0 ?# ?/ V5 g& c) C( g
It ends. |
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