 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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# z. s5 E+ J+ z3 _Let's face it
8 L2 U6 `1 `) I2 b5 H+ W0 ?English is a stupid language.; H v k% T1 a; J9 K: {8 e9 D
There is no egg in the eggplant6 y! `( |, X% v8 F7 S. L6 R1 Q) q; }
No ham in the hamburger' |! |( P& j8 `! d5 T- m$ l; r
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
7 i. X, p$ V5 t! z/ s. t2 hEnglish muffins were not invented in England- Z3 {1 y, Z& J2 }) H4 G
French fries were not invented in France.7 J9 e/ [ W" f6 j6 M
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We sometimes take English for granted5 O0 @8 }% y- m+ A" r2 c- d4 [: |
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: Q8 l5 }4 r3 w( Y, M9 \6 MQuicksand takes you down slowly
9 Y: g* b# b0 g: Z6 M+ r3 PBoxing rings are square) \( i" q. @1 k# R6 X8 }5 L
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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2 D9 F8 L/ x x9 n2 TIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.$ e# ?# D w: e
If the plural of tooth is teeth- R1 a' {. S; o: k; ^( c) n: B
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth' H# T( m( L) n9 v: i; h9 Q
If the teacher taught,! s2 Y3 X6 {6 P# v5 g
Why didn't the preacher praught.! E8 f" G" B" u( d0 S+ T# e
/ j! I0 ~% k2 E- S+ WIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
9 d2 Z) n# s. h3 O9 ^! ] N# xWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* d3 l2 B! a7 T: sWhy do people recite at a play
0 q6 A8 [/ _. x, T4 R- f) }2 SYet play at a recital?
* N: z& c0 A zPark on driveways and
) `( }" h% T: i+ w s( ~, IDrive on parkways& C! j9 }+ _! n
( F4 z# b7 M" ?4 o- [" g7 |You have to marvel at the unique lunacy3 |- \4 F! r5 K) D
Of a language where a house can burn up as
) x: R) O$ _3 I* d0 C e- cIt burns down! Q6 N& U& T. O/ F' y
And in which you fill in a form
: r1 |4 \4 @0 ~' B% R1 kBy filling it out
l3 L, ]+ o( L+ q% G0 u6 wAnd a bell is only heard once it goes! B' k( l U7 b9 G* y% H/ r
5 z' [4 Z B" a; S z; z! _English was invented by people, not computers
, D6 U7 q2 B! k2 Z1 O5 v) W QAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 Y( ~! Q: _2 U(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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+ w1 p, ^ I# oThat is why. C! U& j/ g! ]. [9 }
When the stars are out they are visible4 o; N' T0 ^& Q
But when the lights are out they are invisible. {( G/ O* S ^2 @
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
# a& n4 P5 R8 b' xIt starts* }6 d4 B4 r- Q" w
But when I wind up this observation,
4 v) A. r( f. z5 h. XIt ends. |
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