 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it5 G; n- n, a0 K2 h: f, g: X
English is a stupid language.5 `! h7 q- X% A& u2 J
There is no egg in the eggplant
r g3 j9 j0 M# j6 j$ V2 N% @No ham in the hamburger) A. T1 S7 s% N1 T8 ]9 M7 H: I
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
3 O1 s& A9 r8 h, ^/ E8 XEnglish muffins were not invented in England+ e, [: I; M% a' h7 b# k# f# d
French fries were not invented in France.8 l% p, a+ m. P5 E) r- f4 V
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We sometimes take English for granted
3 S i1 E2 m4 u/ RBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
1 n3 Q1 X8 e0 R/ N( m; |' }' sQuicksand takes you down slowly
0 w; l' X$ @1 Y- [. L* W$ |Boxing rings are square, w7 K6 G, Q |, i9 I, X
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 5 y- o, c' Q, ?9 |# s% b2 C R2 x
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.7 F% X" g; N% \* c4 s0 E
If the plural of tooth is teeth E, q) ?7 }; z; x6 |
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth3 ?% I3 K: Z4 i$ a! d2 J* @
If the teacher taught," X9 \/ r/ q& ]: z! w5 O
Why didn't the preacher praught./ C; r4 P5 M% G& [* P1 K. N2 m8 S
( U/ \: _% F4 HIf a vegetarian eats vegetables' r p6 B( K: Y, [8 t+ ~
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?0 @4 } \. ^, q; L6 u: T
Why do people recite at a play
8 h! A( A9 e2 o1 r. JYet play at a recital?6 f" f7 b& b. h# F2 N& m1 j% E
Park on driveways and
8 l1 r% l& G; q, B! ?Drive on parkways) X3 x; V8 d9 D3 K
; q! |& z4 S Y; S7 K2 t" hYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
& z9 M6 q& v6 v% `Of a language where a house can burn up as
6 q5 C" i' X" \# PIt burns down0 d8 W( a, \+ q/ @$ a/ x4 a1 K
And in which you fill in a form $ y1 P) | H" H# U
By filling it out7 c: Y) V# r/ @* i
And a bell is only heard once it goes!7 c2 B. j! c: [0 @3 p6 y
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English was invented by people, not computers9 m2 {9 \ Z( ?) A$ F" v+ r( a
And it reflects the creativity of the human race3 ^( k6 p h! h
(Which of course isn't a race at all)8 M, N4 S0 i, Z9 M; J2 U
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That is why3 z1 d, f B# b; z* i; b" u
When the stars are out they are visible
& x% h8 w K: [0 w% }& oBut when the lights are out they are invisible4 R, x* E% e$ b$ k0 `
And why it is that when I wind up my watch/ b# {) l2 C$ I
It starts) h% I' j1 z/ D6 `3 b
But when I wind up this observation,
" g7 |* J! Q$ q8 {1 rIt ends. |
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