English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
% Q  u/ ~6 x6 XEnglish is a stupid language.
- _/ [0 I3 G% \6 W7 |/ j6 xThere is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
; A) ~1 C, u8 Z5 cEnglish muffins were not invented in England
! ]/ l6 N; N2 M" R+ o" xFrench fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
1 i! O  Z: j$ |! Z& v; {+ BBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
2 M) m/ F0 O# |% V# NQuicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
+ ]- e) P6 p6 t8 M/ SAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

: h' i5 c0 _, z3 BIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
' m( S/ z! F4 ^: r9 C/ dShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
; H3 s& c2 r6 M8 M2 N5 u7 FWhy didn't the preacher praught.
3 I0 u4 |$ u) E
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
  ^5 @2 W7 d& U) iWhy do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
+ q* f0 L9 d5 V5 R" dPark on driveways and
Drive on parkways
/ Q- c0 j* u; r! `8 J: Q
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
; _! Q0 O" h7 b% n- i, tIt burns down
0 z/ {0 p4 ?+ G6 h! K2 JAnd in which you fill in a form
& H4 U1 p3 {, V' ~7 E$ e  w" CBy filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
+ b6 S4 ]) _0 l0 K4 a
5 b  q% ^+ c7 ]7 C  ~, _English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
6 ^; {3 c  a# ?4 s2 \
/ T4 y, x; n5 \2 ^2 Z  ^1 S/ \2 qThat is why
7 R- C/ h* P. x1 ^0 xWhen the stars are out they are visible
6 Q9 Q/ G/ \* x) w+ R5 eBut when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
! m- o  P: S' F8 r! ~; Q& dIt starts
But when I wind up this observation,
4 g- Y$ d8 S, w6 Z- F, tIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
/ X% ^2 _. W2 o1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
6 u2 l1 C3 y- e7 S3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
- I4 r5 L) ~/ }  _, v) K4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

, P8 @3 i) u# ?, k, W$ B
谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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