Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?! A g! p' W+ u( x
6 [2 ~( p' c* w# o. J, y* c1 mLet's face it $ ~% v& Y; F4 H$ ^English is a stupid language.4 @1 |8 i1 S' B* |% h% Q) x
There is no egg in the eggplant 1 ]7 ~( ?7 [2 {1 R4 D. lNo ham in the hamburger) k( `4 J- g0 [- _' D
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. 5 s. e" u* `9 H+ lEnglish muffins were not invented in England, c w1 y, {; h) o% D; @
French fries were not invented in France.9 W' o1 f: E E4 h
) h2 C; X0 T: ?) d$ ^# f- ?8 KWe sometimes take English for granted : V7 @" W, h8 fBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that3 K f8 F7 T R
Quicksand takes you down slowly8 o* a1 v! o+ G7 T. I
Boxing rings are square ' d( S3 K9 f- u9 A0 f* i% ?And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. % R2 S: O. W$ G1 m
1 D! P. Z! t" y( p. A
If writers write, how come fingers don't fing. h& T, D0 [7 _( L7 BIf the plural of tooth is teeth * O9 ^5 O# A* u3 p# j/ g* JShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth0 U% x5 {% P3 c( l% d
If the teacher taught,+ K3 y) T& [7 J$ S# K# ]4 r
Why didn't the preacher praught.7 u; E6 E2 t! z; @- A
9 Z c& Q: k. ~- }/ f# A
If a vegetarian eats vegetables : W/ Y$ Y# Q! c& Q, xWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!? ' E# S w0 D+ q# kWhy do people recite at a play 3 C( X7 a' G4 Q1 ZYet play at a recital?# F- G( x- A) y
Park on driveways and 2 e. C4 C( Q7 r. _1 n% ^$ M# Q7 aDrive on parkways7 y/ _9 W+ p4 U& q/ W
9 `, d$ s% Z9 N4 e( n2 uYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy* j( g( y( v) u4 Z% Q
Of a language where a house can burn up as, a! X8 r2 @) u
It burns down+ p7 T4 k6 @, J# s+ ?6 {% x
And in which you fill in a form . h" x6 F5 j8 C# G3 F
By filling it out5 V9 f+ f- q- K. a
And a bell is only heard once it goes! ! C9 y- ]& f: P) ^( N " c: A5 ]: L4 M) qEnglish was invented by people, not computers 7 @2 y$ t t' J# Y0 ?' w6 ?And it reflects the creativity of the human race & O7 G f9 a# P0 @# c0 @! c5 b(Which of course isn't a race at all) y" Z% F, }7 r* e3 x 8 V) c' ^8 n+ P8 k; M! ^& \That is why1 k$ L, U U! [
When the stars are out they are visible0 p. j/ e) n1 [. B
But when the lights are out they are invisible* B" F' _4 m5 c
And why it is that when I wind up my watch + q2 }9 \4 J! P& JIt starts5 ~& n# }0 D1 I3 ?# w6 |
But when I wind up this observation,, ?- n1 X1 f! _' M7 \
It ends.