 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?0 m- |* b# n) x0 t2 m) Z m+ Z
6 l: G% H% k' u( K) ZLet's face it
- c- Q( W4 k" w2 ~- C U7 iEnglish is a stupid language.1 F' r0 f- }1 D9 ?. ~ Y. f. h4 D
There is no egg in the eggplant( A9 |% e; i: x5 c
No ham in the hamburger
6 _, v2 M8 d5 J: X: u+ K# s' U* \) uAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
! x, U0 o5 e! B5 B0 NEnglish muffins were not invented in England
1 C7 s# o* |: FFrench fries were not invented in France.) Z4 i# l5 j1 U1 m+ Q
' H( i: \" W) LWe sometimes take English for granted$ \) b3 b m/ ]2 ]
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
' u6 d' _9 a, F1 b& x- d- \* m% j0 nQuicksand takes you down slowly
) d- l( g$ f* M! A- | {Boxing rings are square( Y5 ~! @4 M. I9 q+ Q- H' y+ T# L. N
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. - m* z; F; \5 i o2 u
( p8 D+ L9 h) jIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
' W& F% u( d* w8 Z7 ]% S2 k, y! fIf the plural of tooth is teeth& }. v$ F7 J" @
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth, ? U2 V8 y# ]' g7 ^ u
If the teacher taught,
/ m0 C! O+ T9 A) Q( JWhy didn't the preacher praught.& O4 M& {1 X v, [8 m2 m" v6 Q
7 L( g" E6 G, z! w3 jIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
8 G/ U) G4 m: m% B8 g2 Y+ PWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* ^% G0 Q; X" E. Z! ?Why do people recite at a play
" z8 X# S; s: T$ q+ f5 ~5 v5 gYet play at a recital?
2 z1 k8 p1 d; Z- d8 z% e6 T, y1 d- ^Park on driveways and
5 i0 a% ?5 x2 w3 |: uDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
4 Y' M1 o" M- K& `Of a language where a house can burn up as
+ v( i! n. }& _- ?5 zIt burns down
0 Z6 F1 v. ~/ X( p) Z7 q# mAnd in which you fill in a form
6 T# V! I8 p0 FBy filling it out2 f9 V$ M; \1 ~+ P' ?' A, _. k
And a bell is only heard once it goes!4 ]5 B& E; G* A) d! ]& M! k
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English was invented by people, not computers7 l1 u- i' `: M5 J
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
/ J9 h! \! }" H6 K7 H8 j3 t7 X* |(Which of course isn't a race at all)7 `3 f/ V7 B) N7 Q$ q3 k7 Z
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That is why$ u# s c/ s" D4 B1 ^
When the stars are out they are visible
! N5 j2 G& i( u; T0 |* xBut when the lights are out they are invisible
5 h9 @/ F( @" _, \7 RAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch: t$ F; w! W+ {3 h G
It starts
- j: B. ~& o# o: U( ], WBut when I wind up this observation,4 S, t2 R! h1 X$ c: m, ?( C1 S
It ends. |
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