 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?1 Q v. p' ~2 o+ F4 Q, ]
. E0 ~7 A5 o" V; z7 C% MLet's face it
; C( q7 z3 {9 B/ W$ j1 }( \4 ZEnglish is a stupid language.) {8 h" ?% e& I5 [- a
There is no egg in the eggplant; b. h7 ?' A- A5 z1 W \9 B' X
No ham in the hamburger
2 s: N1 l B) _; w1 VAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
+ E6 U% d1 O) s; ?English muffins were not invented in England
) U+ r2 z" F$ L3 ^: D) N/ L1 \French fries were not invented in France.
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C) I$ \! u) p; x/ N7 bWe sometimes take English for granted& d# I2 ?" `8 l" m* e
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
, _* g I% T1 [% a* N2 F# xQuicksand takes you down slowly! x. \7 l0 I1 D: A
Boxing rings are square/ o- s5 ~+ G- @6 A7 n$ O: @
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 7 @* @; e2 N) C4 S" B
4 w6 Z }1 g$ ]5 ~! tIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.* O4 L# N$ k8 y" {% R5 w
If the plural of tooth is teeth
4 [0 \! x! N, J6 F) `Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
5 @9 ~5 ^/ G, Q0 @1 v4 a7 s5 D: JIf the teacher taught,& {; I- o& u5 |/ y5 r# a: [
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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2 ~( d+ D( ^6 j5 q5 LIf a vegetarian eats vegetables2 t- L+ Q+ g( x5 a' j4 p' {
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?0 Z9 p D" |2 C2 K
Why do people recite at a play
# w) p" d+ Z! Q( @; ^0 qYet play at a recital?
& n, Y* M& Q' G, L0 ePark on driveways and
. y) l+ G2 \4 J+ L8 tDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
3 Q, b* Y; w7 j) {0 I" B5 |" MOf a language where a house can burn up as
* }" g9 a( z# C3 ^ c4 e% ^6 ?8 DIt burns down% P v# N H! T" n+ H9 b. W
And in which you fill in a form
! ]) K& t- {- Q, E$ ]By filling it out- e8 C4 m* x8 Q
And a bell is only heard once it goes!9 ^9 V& x5 L7 W! Q
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English was invented by people, not computers) K0 m6 R+ d; D0 h/ L, P$ P
And it reflects the creativity of the human race" Y* W1 P+ T, E* w% J1 C) U& Z3 |
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why4 ^6 ^, f0 ?) U' w8 p4 G; P. b
When the stars are out they are visible
& x ~5 l2 q7 EBut when the lights are out they are invisible9 R' p8 ~$ k5 h8 a5 B% y- u: ^
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
+ ]* B7 O4 e0 M9 o' G: @' x" X) aIt starts" I, ]: k0 z, Q- O/ T0 }) K& x
But when I wind up this observation,& u& k; m$ h m8 p6 [# [
It ends. |
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