 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it* f3 p: O2 W* l& b {' ]) g
English is a stupid language." l& K+ E( O* c o3 ? D; f' B1 O$ \7 e
There is no egg in the eggplant
6 z# ^2 Y( s. _) L1 `" KNo ham in the hamburger
( z7 Y% b( @: C. o% \' t7 FAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
9 q( z& Y% S# r1 D/ g# qEnglish muffins were not invented in England
3 f- f+ @2 Q" Y' vFrench fries were not invented in France.# S7 U' Z) U" L4 {7 J, l4 D8 k$ M2 F/ O
8 ?5 R$ p( y: u- N9 w5 j" ^We sometimes take English for granted
% ^1 J3 e6 A7 cBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
5 o1 U9 [* B1 Y2 V, ]7 F; \Quicksand takes you down slowly* y: @# ^7 w& a' W3 h7 H. S# G
Boxing rings are square
7 ]0 j9 y4 t6 z/ ?* UAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. ! D. [8 z$ |# \3 E1 @
0 _$ J, U6 p' U* ^/ Y' S0 EIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.- {5 K: d7 G' n6 I$ s; v$ M3 }
If the plural of tooth is teeth
! B6 X/ O) \, G* ^) j3 B4 n6 xShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
) Z: |+ k7 W1 M+ ~# M( d, D r' yIf the teacher taught,
/ }% D: N- y$ WWhy didn't the preacher praught.$ u/ F4 l" l* P1 o5 h; Q/ w$ C' q. O
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
3 Z* g5 j. ^9 s% R' U2 F \ ^What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
* {: S0 e; `: Z: e7 lWhy do people recite at a play
, Q7 |( o ~1 {, ]Yet play at a recital?5 [+ m* G" F3 ]# Y6 u1 Z
Park on driveways and
" z( ^6 B1 v! ~" R% @Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy0 }; M' d1 N/ `1 M$ S
Of a language where a house can burn up as
0 B7 t/ j7 ~3 ]9 g/ k8 ]& sIt burns down2 E# H" O; E# `" n6 L
And in which you fill in a form * Z, u" y& v6 s2 A. l6 n& ?
By filling it out
+ U4 D& O5 U# s6 x; x! }2 lAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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: Y- G k3 h$ Y! HEnglish was invented by people, not computers
; ?9 [4 W0 K8 }, S' t; w4 fAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race( x! j) f4 U* I6 n6 b
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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7 c7 r5 f3 n5 z9 Y& LThat is why- d0 x) y9 O' Z1 {3 M7 X
When the stars are out they are visible
4 v& l8 T% e; ]! h$ N+ IBut when the lights are out they are invisible
$ J# `" Y- w7 @1 U& e0 zAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
7 v& N. G5 {6 q/ u6 ^5 v6 ?$ E; _It starts
- U9 W; I% R- M+ FBut when I wind up this observation,
2 j- s6 ~1 g+ M+ L# v( B/ sIt ends. |
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