English language

billzhao

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
9 j! {# n: ]! z  J+ V  MNo ham in the hamburger
: r6 M# \2 S$ \+ CAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
: _- A8 k) J; C& o1 Y# @; ]1 vEnglish muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

/ c* t3 C/ J& }- aWe sometimes take English for granted
7 b9 b+ n& u# s9 c1 a$ zBut if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
/ h- b; D1 {8 V+ D/ |' v0 Q8 SBoxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

  j# X: h7 M$ K; B: M3 NIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
$ W- ?7 J+ M1 I" {  [Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
3 w: A6 \5 D% VIf the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.
! S3 K* ?0 E. |1 v" o' M
' f1 ^! \' N4 [- x! jIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
* B, Z3 z% U" [5 T' ~4 g+ v) `Yet play at a recital?
5 p6 E0 d- v8 y& OPark on driveways and
Drive on parkways
( o' Q! L7 Z* v5 W3 y& J# u
' s5 [8 B8 D! J. A. xYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
6 a, l, Z0 ~% h. F/ l" hIt burns down
8 o& ^- F: m4 E; {8 yAnd in which you fill in a form
5 j. h7 {+ k5 b. J2 L5 _) vBy filling it out
8 W9 y2 M% T" @3 Y! FAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
, a8 \  }) x$ jAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
- _6 S& M5 u9 E/ O( L
# g: F9 d* h* ]3 _$ w) AThat is why
$ b+ W; |) p5 Z8 W3 @  bWhen the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
3 S: Z3 b) l5 L$ p& T" D& z& Y- HAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch
/ _6 {8 C. L4 k/ D" yIt starts
: P. k' h0 y& PBut when I wind up this observation,
6 _, X; ~- t, XIt ends.

YZSUNNY

suvescape

我看了几行,就看不下去了.
9 e7 D1 v; V2 R1 ~1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
: B' \, R! B% Z" t+ t% P4 Y2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子,就是LINK3水平.
3 W6 m  e5 P! k5 ?! l, J% Z0 ^3)第二句: Let's face it. 可笑,可笑. 当然意思可以看的懂,但是写出这话, LINK2水平.
4) 下一句: stupid 是太口语话了.如果要讽刺他,又带一些正式文章色彩,可以用not as ... as 来表达.
) q  [* b$ R) L" U, z5 w其他的,我就不看了.好象LZ最近在学习E文. 你贴写文章出来,我帮你修改修改.虽然我也不行,但是可以帮你一些.

suvescape

应该是西方语系中最好学的一门外语了.

没心没肺

billzhao

原帖由 suvescape 于 2008-11-17 21:08 发表
我看了几行,就看不下去了.
7 p9 U2 b6 t- \  u2 q( J/ y  V1) 第一行, 为什么用Have? 不用现在时? 直接用现在时表达当前的意思! 用have,现在完成时,是典型的中国教学出来的思维.
2)还是第一行, 用... trouble in learning English. 你写出你的句子 ...

$ {% s( g6 z9 a# f/ W2 L% s1 @
谦虚使人进步。不看完怎么知道文章的精髓呢？
% \# b3 H( Q5 f3 E实话讲，这个文章还真不是中国人写的。所以并不是只有中国人才犯语法错误

lington

能写出此文的人，一定是深得英文精髓。幽默，有趣。

小柔

我觉得这篇文章还是写的蛮好的。是楼主自己写的吗？如果是转帖应该注明出处吧。

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说得不错，有收获，顶一下
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