 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it
0 \8 A$ j0 q) ]; QEnglish is a stupid language.
. _( C" B0 F Y: aThere is no egg in the eggplant* U1 P! K7 ]$ r% [, ?0 @" ]
No ham in the hamburger% Q4 ~) J3 g$ Q$ S9 |# ^
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.0 j3 t. t; Y5 v( n3 g2 F* n
English muffins were not invented in England# Q6 |6 t9 S; |0 H6 V
French fries were not invented in France.6 m$ J, k9 d# R
+ J5 I9 ?* }7 pWe sometimes take English for granted. p, M5 _! h* I( `' h$ `3 C" e; n" L
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
; U" R: C, U& J6 BQuicksand takes you down slowly F( |( C, }# c; A
Boxing rings are square
' A# k( {' h) w' b6 RAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
5 d/ d% X6 P2 |5 B* eIf the plural of tooth is teeth
- J1 y; u3 o7 R8 P* SShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
6 {& g1 w2 O. K$ ]' ?8 o0 y$ }# LIf the teacher taught,: e7 Y L( W; T
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables0 z7 X% `* N2 V4 X
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
1 x6 L, G9 V- `% Q/ s) f" MWhy do people recite at a play
. X) E# [4 [4 t7 {9 K. aYet play at a recital?
8 T8 t9 Z# O) a* P& G" T" wPark on driveways and( u, G- s% S6 ^+ S3 f
Drive on parkways
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5 ~: ^' b' J# D# YYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
: V; r* J3 Z" MOf a language where a house can burn up as/ Y4 l. g R. n" V" z8 Y) h3 G
It burns down
7 O0 R5 ?6 ~- C+ IAnd in which you fill in a form 3 `: D' X% @8 ?' |
By filling it out
& @1 n ~7 ^2 D: E, uAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!/ T5 U5 H4 M% s: [1 [* h8 C( Q# [
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English was invented by people, not computers; u% _9 y1 q2 B4 T
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
7 {) U/ O3 ~7 I+ y7 [6 ^1 U(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 Q" {9 V" @% Y: Y: v
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That is why0 T; Z6 n, d! v4 k; o, }. S6 z3 U
When the stars are out they are visible! y. D" _ p/ B4 N6 w6 ?7 S6 n
But when the lights are out they are invisible& N2 l6 d3 O) b' t* ^2 }
And why it is that when I wind up my watch, [5 A1 K. Q3 j8 L( Q
It starts
( J/ Z: ]9 z! \+ h. VBut when I wind up this observation,7 Z7 Q7 _$ n( ]; o# R. P
It ends. |
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