 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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9 @: d2 L$ S% G9 JLet's face it
" a3 `3 o- V* S( ~/ N1 `! oEnglish is a stupid language.+ w) N2 w- Q2 t. U7 w
There is no egg in the eggplant
6 a6 U( k+ O4 x0 SNo ham in the hamburger! ?2 b R! I- a E3 c1 b2 l* P
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
: J' V$ g8 n# E; T& ?English muffins were not invented in England) K/ @: {1 F# O
French fries were not invented in France.
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, X! W9 U# e9 g; [. D7 P$ iWe sometimes take English for granted, o9 H" i) M" v) B" K3 Y$ U
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
5 k* m7 x4 Z5 |8 }7 B! iQuicksand takes you down slowly
( l) Y3 R( ~: ABoxing rings are square
]& `, O' \2 o* WAnd a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.! `( X, G3 K" q" l
If the plural of tooth is teeth
5 Q4 s, q: J, y$ u5 P4 rShouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth( O2 i. y* ]2 a
If the teacher taught,8 @8 S% R9 u2 L3 n m9 J* T
Why didn't the preacher praught.
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables/ V2 f# c' ~( e5 g$ a2 X/ F
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?! U3 n3 ^; i$ |* d I) Y6 M
Why do people recite at a play) Y. [7 Q+ C) u+ X
Yet play at a recital?
* B' [3 p- _0 S. k, H, ], r# uPark on driveways and6 t3 ?! @9 |+ c' n9 _
Drive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
8 G$ l x2 e' ]! x* @3 vOf a language where a house can burn up as
" `6 n' b. O, u$ T( Q+ c4 R8 XIt burns down
/ G$ q- c6 Y- }3 U0 DAnd in which you fill in a form
; s3 Y! G1 h- y! v/ R+ A \* fBy filling it out
7 R2 L: M, F8 r _, XAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers% n$ m0 `7 o* O4 q7 _
And it reflects the creativity of the human race, O* v+ D, W6 { e
(Which of course isn't a race at all)$ ^. Y9 g6 i" n n& X& A
# Q8 }, g: M, O* ?' n7 |That is why
0 D- g! E- ^& P$ B N) e" MWhen the stars are out they are visible
4 \ b# l% u* T2 k3 ~5 N/ ^: m# f2 HBut when the lights are out they are invisible {& { x" H& L/ A6 Z
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
1 a- d! i: h( p; o1 P4 a3 E) E' C! jIt starts
* g3 @( |. S0 mBut when I wind up this observation,
. M9 M3 e% U4 L2 V& W. d$ P5 jIt ends. |
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