 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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3 `1 o+ q" t( w3 {$ S [- v1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.% q/ ]9 Q) B5 V O# G& O8 G
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1 i1 o ~ t, A5 N y% S! x4 P8 d$ Y2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.4 g& J1 J, x. |# o5 R( e* V
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.5 X- @( s- u; ~
' ^, n+ \7 u! B; s) S' X5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area4 }& ?. B" R1 S9 g- e
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department./ I% ?4 R+ x* q3 V3 j
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ j. [: S- j' Z
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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/ p E* J* C8 Q2 n H/ z* l9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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& q; M7 d" P4 Q6 U9 n10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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' m5 W: L3 G- K" L, w1 \& h11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.+ M( e% \0 q0 u7 {+ V
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels./ ?% F& F: r) M
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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