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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol; l/ s$ q- L" ? y2 V+ ^6 p
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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" h0 M e+ I! d% h1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.0 s1 D/ |5 j, f- F/ B( G3 b% I
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( {9 Y5 [2 M2 q( q4 w2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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% V( T2 N6 x4 o H% G0 \6 D! ]3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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( k( ~; c0 Y9 K2 j, W- `" K4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.) S; f. @9 R& c9 T4 W; }" |
- W& G. }! E+ s& p3 k" t& t$ }# b5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, a& P' x2 E! r3 s
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'/ f5 T6 H) e+ n; x6 p4 Y
2 J+ y1 o7 g% r( @9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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3 f, a4 J n! a+ Z) Z- i1 _4 Y10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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! x$ ]( u# S& L7 e* w4 H: P* I9 o11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.' A8 q* s$ K( x% ~) q# [' n
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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; B! p6 ?0 s$ ]13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!, f; I V3 Z) R0 S, y: A; O- a
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!* v$ U0 M1 D- z. X8 O
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; e6 W0 Y3 D7 w" _" p9 q15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
