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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol8 l9 C2 ]- N5 f6 i( N0 W! f5 d
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* L, k: _' M2 F0 H. Q3 A8 b; c6 h: k' xThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.& j& R2 g" F& n5 |' T2 A: z
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3 P! F4 M6 j# v8 J+ u+ q! C2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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+ O9 u8 ^: y! b2 d8 v) o9 k3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.& n1 \/ M( o* b& r1 ?
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens." p1 C: U3 c1 K3 Y7 ?3 |- T
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.' T: Z% i+ q2 K; e
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area9 ]1 l3 y2 e; ? X4 q: ]; I/ E
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask% ]5 R; |" w0 {- I
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'5 T9 t5 M! e9 b, H9 u
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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8 ~! c( k- L( A! t. q10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.. y, u* U( N7 O- _- k8 J; \* Z
' e' M6 n. ]' g* G6 |11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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) ~5 Q9 Q; m b6 D* U$ q) y12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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