 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
7 p' W g1 v, p$ H% [# ^6 j$ y4 Q
. O5 C+ N% b, a* C% K' }
& l+ v& D' e( c/ }* t8 j6 Y/ O5 c5 Z! Q7 U9 {
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
3 P+ E. r0 l2 _$ u6 j5 j; T2 n. o( r( F* ?" O" @
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
! M& i: |8 s9 L+ ~9 T& D8 s9 L8 E4 M, ?* Y" D* L
$ Z: P6 c7 o& g a& y9 l8 O
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals., ^9 Z6 X0 l" @8 h5 e5 D
, U/ E. O( c6 }, y$ R7 ~' ]3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.! F: y* ]3 `: q; k0 Z. }6 M2 g
' B0 I' I! O4 v& M' \$ `
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.5 r9 E+ }, y0 P! P8 m$ h! p, [
, {7 o- I% U; _" C. M5 J- O' o, x* h5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.2 O* r, m: T: H
# ? ^5 S7 l$ d6 P$ o6 E6 Z( i, M
9 l1 a( D! E& C* b$ _6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
9 r [7 N i2 l$ A/ j: c7 w) s8 Z( z" M( ^, c" l
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
- U9 G! F) s( H& ^5 C; }* k1 j0 _7 E4 `" G! K# t$ Y) w/ p
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
- S- a4 H7 f3 r2 q9 L. ~. H'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
, {5 W8 A; h$ A2 Y8 S7 I* \8 K5 Z, t4 Z9 b5 r
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
; k* K0 l, t- f0 v
- o* P x) M8 Q0 A0 z0 j3 ^10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
( G0 u( a5 f3 |) i. k. v
7 z) n, Z& L k L2 i$ ~( h11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme./ Y) ]5 ]4 m% g$ Q
" n; v- E% _8 \ A
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.' `* g7 B t3 F, S5 `
3 q ?, P5 a: @* N1 I
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!* |9 }) c8 S/ I$ p4 o" N- J
5 C d: I( S( p# t8 ~
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!, G1 p& U# |) D7 `
1 g8 b- I l: R" _ }And; last, but not least!)
" q. h) D) ?1 c' I15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|