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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol e+ t$ f( L/ V0 M; S9 Z: \
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' a" b& g: Z7 o- J- R2 zThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:6 w8 S1 r9 v' F7 Q- \! E8 g k+ I
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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# g9 u& P& V( ]! a& o2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.% i, K4 o$ t' m3 Q: J j0 W
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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; A/ O6 v, k0 ^2 o* s4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.* l; w7 O6 P$ C. C1 M/ L; r/ z
& B: y2 b" N: s8 G; B o* S5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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" T% m5 Z* z% c6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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5 Z( x9 t4 m& m8 @6 j, Y7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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$ c; \0 F! q( X! [8 N8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
$ ]* f7 Z1 P$ r5 G'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'3 s7 z& @; \4 ]4 F. s
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.. ~% i9 J/ x0 L
" D& W: ^$ C3 X3 B: q/ T13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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" p. Z7 V9 s4 e14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!7 \$ p4 Y- k- b7 }, U% {7 v
- Q; l4 N8 {0 {2 A% j. WAnd; last, but not least!)2 O0 ?: R! E2 c+ ?
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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