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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol# D( S6 i' F* Q; e
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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& k; ?) u7 t' c" A$ `' }3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.$ J) | X' z P2 I
% A7 |0 a7 E7 T: L4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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; j0 H1 G. V, @- O5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.) h1 ^9 o" ]0 v( w! m- k
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+ s! u$ F( f7 a8 |( T6 g5 s3 f6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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# m, ~9 f) f4 N; p0 M+ e$ g# b7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.7 ]- H& r& a# F& O4 s: w
; W9 }' @% l8 ]# f6 j- L% p8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask6 v7 L" @" {8 U% j: i$ X( c
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'( D5 z: O6 w# C+ ]9 Q
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.6 y2 r/ c! A0 F6 X8 H6 z) N
; V% ]3 C t* E) g C11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.' }; L# |4 |( }0 U' I
9 \+ a$ T8 n) Z' f* O12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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& c; o9 `% D7 d6 v8 c9 l* |! v13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)% S6 a# j& b. \. \( W
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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