 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol. r7 d# G) Y" h ^% m3 Y
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:5 t8 C1 q$ r2 M% y
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.$ m* N3 N2 \: u9 B& @/ G/ A$ l
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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' S4 M% r A. S4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.3 t6 T) m8 O2 N4 t
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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+ k1 e! S6 D, }5 ?7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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% K0 p% _; L1 N( c& R! c8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask. Q, p( d; d0 G% v% f+ Y g0 ?
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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. |: m. y4 q4 t$ a& K10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.6 B: O4 _! p# r6 K( M% f
9 e$ Y! S/ i7 [2 R* M) X12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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_. ^$ ^2 [& ^4 T% o6 \- N13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!. {6 G6 a* ?6 ^
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!! ?; a D" M" [- M
- Z; k& m; S% B! ?6 fAnd; last, but not least!)
$ S+ ?0 I* u8 j+ y, r& A) Q15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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