 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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6 A3 D9 I0 T% e9 W1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.: N6 t; G' `) g; z1 I5 ~7 U
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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5 x2 J4 ^7 a* j4 y9 y/ G3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.8 b M1 G. P/ K$ H
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5 A: U. G% ?% `- c2 _% @
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" I$ k8 i6 V. n# g9 [ X6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area$ H% g. V( U% W: S0 D/ b6 c: F
( D' O( V6 ]( I @; F( r- c( ]7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.. R& m* @) d% E2 w
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
( A% g3 p( m) \5 \8 s* U'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.* O, w3 m* d4 ]; \ ~; s
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.; w. t9 E1 k2 @0 ^/ N; A" _
/ B% l, q( A7 n- N8 u11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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% N- U" ]* j# u/ c$ K; n12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!$ e0 |# s: h) B: c7 Y+ X4 Y4 ~
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!+ I5 T- [: r2 v2 H8 b
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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