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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol1 _/ u6 l# F1 E: h' j
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6 f5 M, [" m3 i( q2 f) t# @9 GThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:" Z, |( r8 B% {( J9 E! ^3 J! c
Q3 Z6 f) X' L9 ?1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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) U0 X% _5 w7 V5 z3 F) d2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals." y$ W3 k5 ~. |1 l T, n1 P
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.3 X! N- w! |# ?5 o. x f0 A
& B4 b3 A: j& p9 Z' g7 J4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.3 d! y" U7 {9 R& z6 C
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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' h1 t+ ~6 m* C7 j6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area# u* a8 f+ N) V9 S
1 w! G: y8 ^2 O; @* j/ ~' F7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department." ]( Z% D1 m d6 V& ^% b
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
6 m, T" U# b0 S# t# S'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'" v1 w6 |. u6 S3 Y
% R2 P* L2 A5 x' b. \7 t5 V9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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- u) I+ u3 }4 _! U10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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1 Z0 _" ^4 {# y: q$ K5 Y+ n% @: }11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.1 w# y1 Q" Q' K+ F( K* ?* e R# _
2 N# ], w. X0 u( A& C4 ]5 j12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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9 X9 d4 ^/ x) y+ ~; _$ d! q0 D- O13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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5 D3 T. T* E5 @9 R H. h$ C14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!+ b* x- `2 D! W9 ? B4 _
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And; last, but not least!)3 l" B8 s2 _. ]
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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