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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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) `4 g, s4 Z/ M! j1 fThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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+ _- _# k% G' l9 R; A/ m8 U T2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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2 K& V' m; E* q Y1 L5 W1 j# f3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.7 D% @4 Y/ s0 T/ D) s }5 B" N9 W, e# l
$ o/ J% i8 s/ S0 i; [5 o2 }5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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% p, I6 Z1 h7 ` x" o6 r- N8 Z3 H6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. B8 @0 o2 i& Y# S ^
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.. y2 F, H3 g4 Q0 x" m q, a$ \/ R
" m* W1 }7 p7 S8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask C' `7 n- T* W i
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'; I4 X, d( u( ~' Y# V5 R! ]* r
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.- F6 y5 a* u) d6 s E& d, i/ i
: b# k1 u: O i. A# t% b4 s10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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. V8 Y4 W6 m& u6 x+ b) Z11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.2 m8 Z6 ]; g* _! O4 q
' f1 F% O3 p5 ]' {' ]) a9 u12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.1 h% F: B2 V1 a$ K1 D
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!9 k( p E# p0 I6 i/ `) O
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And; last, but not least!)' w+ i [* ~# X6 J1 k) U- o, r$ I' O
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
