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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol, A% b5 D5 k; Y* H
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8 w) w" K. D+ @8 bThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.+ m7 l! |1 j9 `
+ o# D3 k3 [0 i* u5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.0 t0 P: l% | Q
; c5 u/ `% m) m/ k& S! t9 @8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
8 `. e9 ]+ L- r+ {( D'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'" V8 W" C0 k6 f$ q
0 c8 U( E8 n* J/ _' S9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.4 ]) Z" y! J# b3 s0 \
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.% \2 c6 B8 b x0 e5 B
- H% V7 S" b* m/ ` U N$ l9 w+ Y2 P+ X11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.- B) c; z1 d0 E9 ^3 m! |) ]8 d- ]
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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2 W& @! I+ w/ Q t7 z' O13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!$ u( m& _4 D8 Y" N- W ?
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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$ _4 k3 ], x5 S$ r4 NAnd; last, but not least!)
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