 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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5 h% _& H% q, wThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.# q( n+ ?" X ?+ u' [. Y7 _& v
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8 A. w; O l# I% K+ b# `2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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' N/ r& h, T$ c& n" \, ^- ~4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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" L* a* }+ R- Q+ I% E1 D5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.( E+ u |+ Y7 Z- L3 g+ B. z
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area" }; A$ b* `* x; }0 W
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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6 }5 V! Z1 B. \8 t, R4 Y L8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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" `: c/ J: |6 n p2 i; f9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.2 f6 ~. v0 p' J% {/ x! x( e; H
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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0 o; J' K( V- N/ l' T* n4 ~11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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; E: r7 u' Q0 d1 }1 y' [12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)3 G- t; {6 B+ s" f) t$ V
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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