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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol. h: R% K- f' R: M: u" G
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:8 {7 Y6 S% h8 Q9 Y" S: p* C
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.3 h1 S- o, B* c- ^6 \+ h
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# M, @, T+ n+ c1 j# K2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals./ J9 D9 S5 S2 U1 n" {3 e& \( r
6 s, `/ _" F0 V2 y0 U k/ k3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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9 m, U% W* c. p$ Y8 Y, g5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5 R9 [# R% r, H( z3 A/ Y4 f
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area( n1 K' \" ~2 A- F( _
6 s# ^" n5 M9 W H! @/ i% |9 t9 G! j7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department., Y8 r& E9 k' g* {
' O Y+ O, O# b. K& h# o8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask: }/ U; g/ A& s$ `/ q$ u2 R
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9 b0 S% Y1 Z. Y5 L9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.5 G4 t! t2 s, [2 {% ~/ g- H
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are." T. j0 s- b; U2 k& y
: _8 x: z: |8 p2 ?8 r11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.5 `; q3 q5 h5 n @7 d3 J, {
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.8 y0 G9 O& S) {- m# L
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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% K1 ]) A7 n9 U3 _14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!4 h' w5 o; y2 Y4 [" L& x) Q
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And; last, but not least!)
: q; F! i) Q. d7 F9 P15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
