 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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3 E7 _/ g2 ~: q# z+ JThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:# O7 c+ H! e9 m; K4 t& K0 v
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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: X& T9 x1 f& [+ H, d% _2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.( L2 \& I; i1 G) P- m/ d8 {
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.$ ^% e; `! M/ H+ h6 L/ d) F
& A' _8 ]8 M) ~$ x5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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9 M% M5 G& F. {/ r6 U3 H0 w6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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: H% s1 d- k& D8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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$ {6 M# B8 w; w4 A4 f9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.- ^' _: E9 n1 D* ?* ?6 h; E
! L0 j) ?3 {+ _+ Q/ u$ B) O! d10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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" }* ?2 Y$ _$ }12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!' L. w" D3 \9 w( w9 p
) @1 l; }9 B3 M+ w2 w% h- @% W, o14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!). X7 U! I$ \6 j2 x. o; h
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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