 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:4 u$ J' l* |: X9 d7 P$ F
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.- K; t9 g7 t5 {* [* i! k' Q
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r1 K2 |* w: \2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.# ~4 F8 V' N3 o3 T- F
, }9 P0 g" C& {# d/ D4 H8 |3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.; V% U9 I I# X4 v0 ^6 A: I1 S
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.. [' N3 X8 h0 U8 O) W
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area* Z/ g- @0 |' O2 K
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.; c5 g) ^% b# W" z
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask# H, w7 ]+ S- s3 L5 P5 {
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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) j- C s X( w( h, @/ b11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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. O% W0 s# Y: j( i5 o13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!* ~& H# c5 a! t8 g; r
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And; last, but not least!)
8 [1 M$ k2 R7 N+ X% }8 b15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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