 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol( t& }+ F' P1 q) m$ ]: H
* i5 ~ Z$ a5 o2 a
: k; y3 N% F4 l/ o1 f5 Z- s( e6 D$ p9 c! I+ Y6 l/ G
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:8 e! w ~( b& _3 C
9 ` P8 ^. C+ x- @9 {
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.- ~- [/ R' h0 C; [/ ^) ~
+ s) ~. G) `4 K- T- L6 k9 D7 {7 k- i5 S0 U8 c( n
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
0 e9 X% r" X) R( @
5 l3 y3 x7 I# V# T" y# E4 s: T( c3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
, r( S+ ?3 w, o: j5 j7 K: u
4 o# s9 y2 X% P1 T0 J, E `4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.! D7 j) T _( E3 E5 f+ Y8 A! [
/ b [: x! o( L$ Q
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.0 r C9 `& o" F" E
) M) `; j% Z; X/ }& a3 d4 v1 s; Q
x) I# l7 S$ X8 X$ D" G
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area& ]. ]! p0 R& ]5 x. f
/ X! `4 ~5 b P+ v7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.. L. n4 \4 x6 U* J
/ q" M/ Y2 v( F/ F9 L
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask) d/ ]/ }% A# `: ^3 q, w ^
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'* B( l2 f* Y/ V: g( w
+ v) \: E) @5 V- r9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
+ @0 b9 B1 o, ~$ O7 G1 `- h m3 {5 H9 {) Y2 t& O& r
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
% i# I+ x5 i: J, ]
; H) Z) _6 ?9 S' }; I11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
' l% V) F0 `3 ^5 |# d4 @3 M @1 C" h( |* Y2 K6 {6 v0 d' ]4 Y; s) n! }
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.; [3 ~4 u7 n; N E. F
% E' C3 `7 s" K0 a4 V6 `. Z13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
$ T/ E: Q( o6 Y. W6 M3 S7 U- r4 J7 G+ D& X6 {" t4 C" `
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!3 A) L0 q+ S! F k( R8 z2 l+ E
8 Y! D. c6 U# U, ?
And; last, but not least!)( i% f9 t# E7 F' w
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|