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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol0 a) J7 v* m, R2 }+ k3 W z5 V: U& D
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3 y" y7 z* |/ m* B# T+ X8 F0 xThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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$ q0 [ T. z: E$ F" S9 w; G1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.' `( M3 W/ x; f* q& y
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( R8 L) N3 M8 [- `8 T2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens. y% h3 O6 ?" u- q6 l
$ R' T- z9 h* z8 ]) ]5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.& T2 ~7 [* P, s' }, w2 A: i
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area) x( I! d% n1 `5 R$ ^2 S- z
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.# k# r- R) {7 s
4 g* f; q- J. D! v! {8 Z8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
& Q, R- `3 [9 b: Q* `4 j y; E'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'& Q/ e! y6 a N/ v7 U& Z6 E) K
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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7 H B3 C% j4 f: q0 Y. ~$ A/ U! R( S10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.+ u. j% I; T! m, K1 a
# U3 ^. R c- ^ }- W7 k, W' f' D( D12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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& q; E0 C; z, ~% Y5 h( z& G, g13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
9 v7 t! f0 y' k3 c- v' w5 N15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
