 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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# v* Y/ y9 ~, [Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.' f2 `/ x; B7 J
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Z- F, l; t. u* E# Y! H2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.( d$ y. Q7 G1 O" |1 F% b( e
6 H$ `- e3 m, l4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.' ^2 `& T/ [7 K$ T4 L$ {
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' |4 ~( w! q5 S$ ?5 x6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area7 N+ R6 C, {4 b& [5 ]. |! @; A! D
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.- |7 L4 X+ b3 a1 }$ F
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask' H; T3 x9 E+ }( L; l9 ^- }; S* y
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.6 D F% `& C" b# d
5 n& g8 v9 r8 C10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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* a! |/ R' t4 e, l$ K- e+ ^11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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0 F& j" T" p' Z- `12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.8 T s0 s$ U* P* q9 _4 c
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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" q" N. o# P! |) L. O14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!# T5 T' o8 h9 w1 m7 M+ B
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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