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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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- s* p" n+ c" sThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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' M/ z. X3 n v' v+ S1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.+ ~' }. \9 e5 t- ~* {) a
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, R: R2 ]! g+ E6 ~* Q# ?& W0 y+ O4 G: l2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.9 ]: j7 d1 S# l
6 {- B! z% H/ Y" Y! [% @( h& m3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.2 ^0 q! {' ~! _' G
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area' D* i0 b; H6 p$ c7 l# E7 o; k
' A6 o. `' G' |) ]$ z7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.; L8 B# G) J% [% l
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask+ D7 f7 f5 a% x. S! Y6 f
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?', v8 G% {* h/ _
) k$ A. Z) t/ L9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.* B7 e, A/ i! N; ?7 i( T
7 \9 R- ^/ u7 Z10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.# J o6 ^8 {$ ]4 b
/ U, ?2 G0 o1 _5 _& S6 x" J. d$ l11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.$ i5 H) u) L# p
% g) G4 q H6 I3 |# F0 }- _12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.8 Z" i5 A" {0 ~5 K H
; v" K% c* d2 o5 D* q1 v5 `$ z13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!( [7 o. E: v0 [6 ?0 e6 O
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!9 s2 \. m3 R, h% o" W
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" B% E' A( J; _ O m3 R15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
