 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol( o! J' a$ v% M U# d8 b
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:# w* P& ?: |" z4 e# c) v
' d l* c0 y! @! a1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3 F5 p% k: x4 Z; ]8 ~8 z; Z
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.3 J" t8 f) ?$ d* L
! V' q3 L! ~5 D+ n, h4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.5 p4 Z7 _! t1 `6 ^* Y
6 w3 l; a/ G t: t! d5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.0 H* s9 B j) k& K# [( O% B1 U; z
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- e0 e3 X! |0 P" x* C6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area9 ^0 B# I" D9 {# R7 O& E
8 H# s& @0 S, L+ q# i7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.5 m0 r" ?- ]; p
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask1 }( A* q3 E) @5 w; D
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'; R2 Q4 l8 r0 u- v3 H% ~$ M
# O q( M! {' d( S: R w9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.9 `4 x8 l/ t, T" |3 D5 B" b" [
! l; o( b: j! S" c; ~10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.* i* y) B6 z8 t, Y0 L) a
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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9 a' l& _& J `$ k, `+ g! l13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!) v4 C. i$ J5 Z- n2 {& X
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And; last, but not least!)
) S K; N. G5 G/ X9 U15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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