 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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( q( H2 y9 o A) I8 b5 r7 qThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:8 d+ Z6 ~% W+ l3 `( J5 u$ \
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.$ Y! W" i) j4 x1 T- ?$ w0 s
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.( c* b8 i8 P/ L$ I. [2 `9 ~
2 W( f' h) `8 w6 \4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.: ~9 G; O+ E- ~7 S" h
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.) U& }0 ~ x! O, k: u
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0 y3 [% G3 O+ u3 }2 Y+ O, d; y6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area% l$ U( M9 j1 y9 p9 @ P9 g3 ^
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.$ X/ V- K1 R/ U# N
/ A) e; q' \( I0 _- v8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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% e8 |0 I6 ^( c( _. p1 e! o, z+ {9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.! T6 G& y: E# f' r! j$ q
* z4 T7 p* f+ x' W9 E% M( b10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.. K, J- a: A0 v0 j" v
5 n9 t* G) n3 }1 ^: j3 h11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.5 h8 J3 T9 \! g
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.& q P& d1 m/ w
( B; \! Y! h0 F& [ c# u13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!" u) S0 G1 H- [$ G2 F
6 ?, u4 |6 \: a4 Y1 TAnd; last, but not least!)
0 ?2 E0 A1 B- o15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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