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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol' N2 N7 m$ R9 \1 x6 x0 i
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: }9 K1 N0 V0 ?& M' J0 f+ uThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:7 O; T$ z, \9 S
8 ^8 b) [; `/ H, c" V7 u' S! [1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.# {- C& a0 V$ [ L
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.$ S7 d% N: c z, ?( o+ F$ K
( |7 n7 f( r& @+ u5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.; n1 j* D# T$ u) Z |. I6 Y1 ]6 S2 l
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, K( u s. T8 X6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area( A* `( t- D B* }. ~0 a3 C4 x, `
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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) u0 v9 V& ~' r) y0 y1 c" U8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ H3 s% c2 K9 T9 a
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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" N8 I4 @0 O: P q! u: X10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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O6 Q- a5 b6 C9 S/ s11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.7 } G. _( i3 x5 [2 D9 ]
" ^0 D; ?' R& V9 l& n& j% M0 H12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. _" W/ H0 v# Y# u2 T
, |% _: z% n( ^8 A7 u13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!5 |2 t9 @7 p! D, o1 G5 U7 J6 _
& B" R" e' h2 p; h2 Q$ Z* EAnd; last, but not least!)
& K$ t" ]0 A7 l) p% N3 N! E15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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