 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
' z; f `8 F p7 s# f" I1 ` g; N0 I6 ?% c0 O# x
, k' T/ c- L- T' q- H4 m, k, B$ k4 X% a' `( t/ B0 g
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:/ @/ |0 F1 B$ E% ?+ F- y' X1 v
0 S; W1 k% N0 c' @2 ?1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
0 s; s( \$ v3 h5 u( d v7 b$ a
0 }( t3 K- y+ p/ {9 Q `' H2 f' g( D' n. t" t! k+ R! {* q
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
! r% i. i$ ~2 {, z% J9 z5 m
7 X) ~+ r) G0 Y. k! v3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.( q& Z2 T m; J' }/ r" ~* ?
* e' _, v, i' F# e; `4 t% B% _% r( g4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
3 C& k) `; P. t0 R
, o3 ]/ j6 ?$ q5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
8 n0 Q+ W' Y0 z# c
, S/ |) J; _1 ?) Q. ~; z
* L/ L3 z1 m0 M. k" e6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
U* P4 o d" Y/ O! C
& E$ [. H; e$ p: G/ a7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.3 M: w5 k6 J) b0 _' ~8 e# D; ]
6 }$ {1 n: A/ G# b1 [1 |/ a* a8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
. s$ p5 c' x' O" R' s'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
+ x0 C( h/ `* m! G! \' w
5 u. ^6 I+ b4 T ` ]9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.0 T6 G0 i2 ]% D" f, V4 ]4 ` ?: Y
; m! _9 B% H6 ~10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.& J+ [8 N" z8 f
M4 S& \' ^) u% \11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.+ R1 D F0 `) Q5 A- r! p
! O9 _+ V- k+ ~7 }7 U/ R2 u12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.' \; b% l' p* g
$ Z# r9 @8 [* ~6 }* q13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!4 g8 W( X. N. i, {; p9 \- J
7 w+ Y( x* L0 ?) Z3 t1 c& n14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
4 m2 Y1 w2 c& a) ~8 F( [. n, X) ^$ e+ A3 q Q: R
And; last, but not least!)8 Y; I. j4 A4 f# p
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|