 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol5 |' O3 A0 P6 Q
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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" h; I' L2 w* x. W4 ]1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.5 o! e5 W0 l A7 P1 u
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.9 o# e: Z5 k5 m) k! Z
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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0 C2 E* ^7 Y1 M( Y) _8 G4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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, ?) F" c3 o8 B7 _5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.9 f! |: x) I% Y5 m H! ?, P
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) L. ]# c3 |1 j# c' B3 n& r6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area" {; a( K/ a- i+ N
) o% J$ O( Y+ K9 N7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask5 J7 o( h2 A; b& f
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'* j. w; m+ d# q: T5 K3 M
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.! p; W* H9 K6 w% V4 P# d& Z) E
+ X3 K. N# F1 m" ~2 e10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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1 _+ Y$ e5 L- Z2 P' b0 E) O11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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+ u+ P2 B1 t! g2 n5 j13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!' d2 ?- v1 L& ?3 j
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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8 p2 p, i" t7 J2 V+ I- V' [And; last, but not least!)
9 `/ ~, s' _& K' j15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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