 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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* d! B! U" i) w1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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* ?: D, V; f. e+ t! S3 f' L2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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# u- Z' {/ D- c* D: @/ X6 X4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away., [) x) b4 Q; U# C$ X& C
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area- T8 p+ P+ e) n4 a
% B* {8 u/ B3 q: J& b# B7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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7 t1 v; U, e5 o, [! X7 q% l8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
* W1 L6 v8 w4 ]0 `, \0 X- Y5 U'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'# n5 }" e9 o6 A( u( D2 ^
; V; l, ~. P" t) ~8 U2 Y8 X9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.# {/ X3 D( i6 O/ x
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!& Z) f% k/ L Q, |8 T7 h6 U; h
8 B- K; P% j t8 Y: x+ B, @14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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( @2 q! o. T5 _7 J0 kAnd; last, but not least!)
) r5 ^$ ?- |5 f& o- l15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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