 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
+ \8 I/ ~) g) L5 u/ I% q* a7 e. E7 m; V" q
5 O* p4 Z/ y$ t) A. R! l. `+ K1 K
9 O5 F5 F1 W. |& X" y) jThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:0 k4 m( \; h/ R7 E4 l6 y, }+ A
7 k6 {8 y c5 O' f- E8 U7 Q
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.4 _0 b# h! S3 O
8 j8 \ N0 u" z5 S3 B, z3 @. w+ X3 {. y+ ]! ?) Z8 M8 p
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
, G! O5 y( \) o7 k k1 A* R$ g3 s; I+ N2 x" Z3 F: e" a
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.+ z3 p$ T. ^- P- n
3 m! ~1 F9 f' G' E3 [* W) K4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
9 Q! B; k& Z% V* c w$ z
' e0 O; b1 i; \5 R% |/ T0 _) F! r5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away., R) n5 X5 A. @4 ^
- V8 W$ D" {6 H: }2 w
4 b! j% _7 [- _ v- v7 g5 J( }6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area: ~2 a0 j0 O4 c3 d4 o: D
( O4 g2 `3 }5 j( G$ i5 a9 M
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.5 }; `3 q( E7 q; K# ~
* \9 t8 b) Y! P) F& W7 m0 R8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask7 [8 T: ?4 U# k
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
* H8 ]! e4 t3 ~7 L. v2 G' Z. J, Q* L, x$ e3 u' H0 \: u1 g$ O3 N
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
. e5 k, A1 P+ F4 f( a! j
1 d) m" K n* B+ \9 U) v: @& I, R10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
2 x* d+ W4 F% P5 n- m( U8 a! q+ T% f( y3 j; J6 x8 x# B
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.7 }: l( Y( A0 H
' I' v" h' ~( X( X. E12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.* P3 u3 \4 e6 e- N: w3 Y& {
) k+ S' C: D+ u+ X* X1 I$ F6 Q
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
* P' z! k9 C& G! H9 d; K3 K( q) E* m( }% S
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
- J; ~$ u# w+ u8 {
# H3 v/ A. C1 M- s5 B A. yAnd; last, but not least!): H. j t! t, _8 m. v `7 b
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|