 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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: F7 |- n- ?( d3 j" F7 w5 v1 Y1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.6 i. S4 t5 u: D
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.( \9 c9 c/ y. j4 G8 M2 F) K2 D
8 S3 m9 C* ?& N% Z# P, f o4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.: ]- J* u8 s7 b8 {# {# T8 t0 f
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L' q0 Z- B- @9 p6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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?9 N* i4 _0 E2 J" }6 m7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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7 R0 P. B4 D4 K+ h5 _" ?, L6 d( _0 q8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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3 @- {! d; k7 T7 q- Q; h$ X) r9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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/ ]1 Z5 S7 v: m" b* ?10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.6 ]% O$ _. J: @
) O* `- Z- T" T, A0 T11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.2 M+ F1 s* M; x: e
/ P+ K1 V7 d' p" }1 o' B+ |12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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/ k2 i4 I* G" v' l% }2 a- U" ?0 s13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!! q9 \: D9 Y$ y* V, a$ k
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!2 Q$ }/ v' [& [' m" b C8 J: J8 u
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And; last, but not least!)
( c7 _, c7 e4 I7 n15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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