 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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+ ?; V1 L3 Y9 _1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 c$ a7 v% z) B8 a, _6 Z$ e6 p
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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! W& c: p4 }& O0 ?6 c3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.! l; z0 _ f8 l- j) S& n
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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$ |" G- a9 S3 i* |6 s5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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. [' ?/ L$ A' _9 W& I6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area, A5 k4 {8 W% x( C# u
7 [% j$ V( r) B- x/ X, E7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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3 n! p# M9 o, t8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ }" J) p: z# |) F9 |0 Q* R
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'3 _) i7 ?! d/ e
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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- d z/ P- X! P0 u& C& N11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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" M1 ^: ?/ W& H% S3 q/ e! P+ V( L12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.4 L) O2 r; Y. \) G: ?) j
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!* q. p9 w7 F3 P- [8 S* [
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!2 |6 _! V% I+ |1 r
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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