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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol8 Q6 W. j0 B7 ~
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.# {7 _( m; w* [& F9 b L: i( y$ J
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5 c; G/ k7 x( P4 M9 ]4 y4 L2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.* F0 o5 ? D1 D& Z9 a5 b
, {' n3 Q' ^# `* d/ _3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.4 \7 B* g+ z y$ ?0 S9 T
0 N3 i2 r: x- u7 A X; c8 e6 {4 K5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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1 h2 W& y! U2 I6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area5 V0 G: y! ^7 Y+ d! Q; a) B$ y
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.; c- H/ R' d8 W; l0 j c
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask+ }; e0 z$ _) x, {
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?': t4 A% U! }1 ~7 O) u- @
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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9 S/ P( f. M, D- U* n, {# a, S10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!# j4 ]2 i6 W7 H/ v
7 o2 B r$ A4 |14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!3 I5 H% Z2 o* ^; o5 R: o' d( V$ t
9 y u" T* H$ QAnd; last, but not least!)( F d; f. D* g. Z) {, Q) ~
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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