 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol8 e! T# f1 ]: S$ O9 z9 H. Q
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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) D5 I% w$ _1 W8 |4 {7 H1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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9 h6 D9 |1 l% e: o% B3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens./ c( X2 A+ ^" D9 c) C) g
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.& A& e% V% ]6 m3 t
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7 R F( O! `# I) O6 ]8 D0 F6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area' T2 H0 o( m0 u1 P+ [! z
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
$ x" `0 t- |+ }2 @'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'1 I8 h$ p. a2 ^. `
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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+ ~" J5 e7 e# l/ d* e10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.$ I: u/ U1 y" v# h$ C" U+ S b/ R
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.4 a6 \2 b! z g8 o; J
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
8 i' y( U+ P+ ^7 \# n# M8 w15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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