 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.# @! `5 _/ S- t% V0 `/ _" O- D7 k
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! Q7 o' D3 Q: ~7 G+ t2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.' ^5 M; j6 W) _: }
/ R0 @, c! ] ^: K* a( ?( l4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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, F8 K$ q: O& l/ s' j5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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- T( u1 M) A$ R: J. d5 O7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.* y! q7 {3 [; k K8 A$ R. t6 b
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.' ~0 f5 i S0 i; Y9 c) h
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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9 Z( k3 i; x; k9 v13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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