 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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D. W7 J0 R# m6 f/ e6 ?1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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( T# U% M0 K% }3 u2 Z/ n2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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; e/ y9 C) X9 T% r5 G9 l5 T2 \0 g3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.! @5 d9 U; l7 [" P" m0 N
! `/ |' o6 S% L+ y2 P1 p) R3 I( L4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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* ? d$ Q3 ]+ u5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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1 J: { e# K* t7 e6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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- o' {& X0 p) v4 D; q8 `) m7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.6 u& |! |% W0 O
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask- S% p; I1 ]$ K
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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, L3 K [- {2 f0 O% O4 V1 ]9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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4 t2 e0 x+ P8 `11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.% p8 B' e! Y- H9 D0 q
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!8 ]- P# i+ a& t; t( w& t
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!# H& p6 c$ T8 D* y
$ s7 n3 n% ]+ u1 J. c" [And; last, but not least!)/ ]: A; \1 q# J0 V4 x7 B6 \
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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