 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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. B$ ?9 Z$ p$ r; Q/ ~) `# QThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:2 V3 X' \2 r) F6 s5 o
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.$ z6 w+ N+ }0 f( M7 {/ D, E6 `
4 ^& x5 d3 J# w! P3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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' D9 K$ E) ?; R4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.! z N$ M5 L& J% X
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.* s0 y u, v5 ?, r1 @
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9 t% I6 h/ ]2 z+ p% i: o% [6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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) L) e2 Y4 w$ e% T8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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& y! j% C- X4 H' K4 w9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are." N5 W5 V1 S3 r/ d1 ]( V
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme." l4 O% ]6 p& g
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)9 p. g X0 a- ]! M/ a
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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