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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol8 C& f5 U/ K1 h8 ?
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" j$ u U8 E; Y) lThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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; [2 \& E4 j9 M$ `1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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3 t1 X) p9 Q( @; p0 k2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.' ]' o8 A7 b# J# s- n
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.% @% U2 a m' w0 u0 c9 L+ X
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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8 I& Z5 N6 n2 R& z7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department., w7 |# X, I+ P2 {7 O. _) W9 S
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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) R% ~8 e+ P" ~$ o9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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2 F9 x. A3 R7 u: g10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.! U/ @8 n+ y: e& i" A% P+ f
8 C- h5 I1 Y/ @2 y* X% J* Y' c& e11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.9 _% c% G7 F2 z' l5 c0 t
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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6 P1 ^4 v! Y/ X7 I4 D, _+ C13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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) \5 I. j% q: L3 C14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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And; last, but not least!)
M$ e: H0 u4 A6 k- t @7 W, j15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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