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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol& H0 U% e- w1 z7 @/ N
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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2 _+ |% d9 }. n0 ^1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.3 q- T; Z* b0 l k2 F
* m* f9 k8 t0 {5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.0 s$ [# W* @) l; W
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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1 Y1 e2 G& m- O0 y' k7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.( E2 B6 J2 W9 O8 E: Y
/ l% b- E" J: L- O8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose. [# P1 j6 K4 h2 k. g
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.% ^& E; k4 n2 X
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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' m) T" @# T, S/ T% }; m) J" l12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.6 O& L2 v; o# |0 s* C$ w5 ^: U
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!/ W2 `! ^4 F# J
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!6 a8 I4 x5 }. P. Z' ]5 |. ]0 P
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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