 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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, G$ {0 I- c- E' K! {* p2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.- v0 @9 C# K! P8 f) I) q0 \' T5 f' v
+ [0 ?, F$ E: W$ I6 i4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.3 I! e' V4 p% Q4 G& G K
% f( _7 K& c# o* j' a5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area( ], x3 l" V; ]9 n! f* A9 ^: c
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.$ O; u6 S) Q& {: R1 d
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8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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: R6 b' ] p3 O( B& B5 T" ?# o9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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; }2 z; k, C) @5 o5 s10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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+ a2 a8 U; i" E, A5 r/ G8 U11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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) Z! g% V9 O/ L$ W$ ~: q) B13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!: Q. q& x& m! ^, m
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And; last, but not least!)
% \ T+ r1 r& Y% ^% {% x15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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