 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:9 c9 f+ B' v4 o8 d
0 v* d% n' e/ I H- i3 V0 E, m1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.* c0 |- D9 m3 V3 s
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.# y( s1 B( \( W' E! d; {) ?; ]$ F
! P# M7 @0 _$ R. Q9 O9 V3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.+ t: a7 E+ g1 A
0 r4 t4 k/ ^8 f5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6 V* V3 {9 z, S- w$ {8 `0 l5 a6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area6 {: _+ U* x5 f1 p: H
5 W* f8 M8 b i' N' D; v$ e7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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+ X5 `3 a' p5 g1 Z; d" c8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
# B6 \' f. k4 C" b7 }: g'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'/ {" L2 {3 I# X f
. Z# j; w: D8 e9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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9 H% N7 j" f3 g' W( C5 b2 R10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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# o! L4 i* l0 q" @* |) ^3 i# {+ j11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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% \9 j- { @- H12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.7 f1 m0 ~8 \. J2 X' k2 o( P
3 s1 q/ B* |' X5 u/ H13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!' o+ e) a: H# f: ]' B9 `. n; d
- O) J& [% Y5 z2 j) a. j14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!/ R$ h! H, e" x e8 a( f" ]- e
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And; last, but not least!)
( R* {' P4 J) g3 j15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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