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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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3 v; V/ K# X: F; w4 WThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:7 P4 P9 N7 B, W2 N
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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$ a7 ?% ]# q9 r+ T Q3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.4 t/ S! d9 t5 }. P3 C
1 h# O( Q( ?' J" [0 I( d4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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: q- g9 V: R: J& \8 Z5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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: b7 t% y9 j; P7 l6 G3 x6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.0 Z$ S) G4 N5 U: T3 O+ v9 F
+ n. m! U/ o8 v4 X' H5 B8 \2 \8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are., r7 b2 ~. T6 C7 w% _
# G: J3 H$ N O9 K; G6 [11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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7 t- Y$ j' ~ S13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!) m& U+ s Y8 f; p
; t% O% H9 T8 Q, J! J6 V& J! D" zAnd; last, but not least!)
9 n# m2 R& d. A7 d$ W. m! e15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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