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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol% b K8 A, r; e" _8 }* _% \
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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' x& V8 V9 {$ ^) K6 T1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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' D4 u+ P/ f3 k3 w# o# f$ I2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.6 q; Y6 |- ] p& n! r
* s5 z$ m F+ T4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.6 r+ z5 H3 K% d- M$ s% k
/ T/ j0 }) |5 [. C: o1 D, F# i: U \5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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/ q5 p( p8 U% o+ [7 f6 r% t+ s0 V6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.6 o) ^8 z$ W7 m; F: G0 @
+ `8 g) d; ^. G1 c7 Y0 A8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
' t+ y) _! s& e9 D'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.- ]) w0 l9 w- \
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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& B: ?; j( t$ \& A! f11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.+ F1 y0 \ H7 E6 x4 o4 g. r6 i% j
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels." }' h8 V V( {
6 u( [: [. T- R13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!# B1 j' ^" [. U1 G/ Q9 m0 l
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!3 L* B* W. y' y
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15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
