 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol- S; t6 z. _9 w( R! k) I4 n
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% U5 N! w0 X* @. b8 h: @4 WThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.7 H8 |, m7 Y) M; a B/ V/ h% g
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/ D1 O5 [; ^ G2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.% e7 Q9 {8 v0 Z `
* Z7 K: X8 u; I' x; E& `2 U& ?5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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4 k1 A6 E: m$ @! r0 R7 P( f$ \* C6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area$ a9 [7 J, {) j& \
2 D) O: \3 a; e- g d3 ?5 p7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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D2 R+ p4 S% A$ C8 q8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
2 V, H0 P' V, t7 t; G8 N'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'5 T5 M% x6 ~0 Z6 \1 k6 r, R1 c
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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$ z; B9 R4 L& s- K8 ^) [10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.+ V5 t9 \" f6 e
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.: H, g% z s6 z+ z+ i; ^
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.+ P2 k8 ^2 u% z p% o( B6 g& H1 [# q
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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# X# N, m8 i$ \8 N. `14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!7 ?1 o& S, E2 t1 G7 u+ P
$ O8 z+ u. K" l( \* L3 H0 [) KAnd; last, but not least!)4 g$ F7 n5 t( v
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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