 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
% U: u) A$ J {1 g3 X7 `: d' d" o8 z' H9 n- T
( N# l/ D W" Q3 J1 d. A% j! |9 X. B+ D
- U+ e# a: u. \+ D' t+ R$ j
Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
/ x7 t' \) |0 Z+ {1 I/ \4 q7 }8 {3 l. g, \
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
3 V) _( E8 P" T+ Y
# a0 Q: }4 l' n( g/ \& Z, n1 R+ s" e* ~+ b# Z# J1 p
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
1 {2 ]" E5 @6 ~* {
& B1 @- [/ y) X1 r# v3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
1 v3 N+ ] s. V) p0 J& T% s. ? l$ O+ Z2 m) ?+ r8 Y4 a9 w, g
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.$ l4 b9 v1 f+ t2 q0 Y
" f l( K' a* X
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
, D) P3 ]% X/ I6 L: Z9 Z: T) V( x* e8 u G4 e
9 [# r& N" C3 w+ w1 H* H$ E6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area, b3 V" ]# e. F+ X
5 `: N. [; U3 P# S$ C7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.+ u* l! q9 L: T
6 F+ H$ d! M* q" l
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask; q* A# n( @; W `3 F& Z+ S
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'! u/ {% D+ v4 u% z+ m3 z7 b
& y4 t8 j Z- Z2 E8 U, q. b+ h
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.0 f4 F( U7 e w3 @4 f' v/ R& `
7 S6 T0 J2 V6 V10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
8 m5 N' W# J' ^$ ~- [! @- m) _' S
( `1 I- r0 I, P4 [ I11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.; l2 ^- q7 c7 |8 ~7 ^& V" m9 ?- a+ G
/ |9 ~6 K3 a( w4 ~; r1 [8 L
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
- n4 J+ p3 c7 U3 g) E
, q) s8 T/ y$ I" ^13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
- S" U2 v/ \) y {# y# ]( X) `- T: N4 ? m$ {# d |
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
N7 @& Z* i3 ]$ [+ `+ w6 F! F0 y" `7 r/ g0 Y/ B1 e Y* I1 O* V
And; last, but not least!)
" v4 H2 Q; ?* O! ]* y15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|