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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol1 ^, Q& J$ B/ g' V2 V( u# w
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.2 Q o( Y, b$ t7 ]+ e# M
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7 _ n0 O6 D( }/ v e! q( Y$ _2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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) _6 K" N" }! W2 D) F2 C& t5 ~3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.! z% M$ z8 ?' ?& O* p3 ]
) P8 f b/ @/ U$ ]4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6 J2 m+ Q) f; g2 T. L* q7 I, c6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
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* c: i; l8 T4 e1 |) [; A1 _$ X, F7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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5 B0 d, c0 x/ m1 I6 {; j* n8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask4 a; F) z& T9 V
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'" Z% c, @) W: m- A
% a2 o% J- k7 l* g+ w9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.) J2 ~5 e7 H& V6 |. H
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.6 i( r5 m. s; R7 a0 [
5 M' d/ A% N0 \. t11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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6 ]& s$ [9 A, I" B: J$ Q12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. l! P5 U. [; U
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13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!( [! y! z% `& e( `+ ^
, K0 G* |7 _* q2 P& n! y9 [; O14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!! k" ^: D) i1 l; h
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# @2 d: H; E' h/ J15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-12-20 23:57
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发表于 2009-3-2 12:30
