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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol) M# Q- h; y. _% z/ g- W
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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, i# |% W) O) E1 t% Y5 O, G0 |/ u5 T1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.7 l; C9 @& x; K& _0 t: p
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.0 |" i) H) {, P+ U9 E
3 p @" O+ ~( v0 O( B3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. `- d/ d& L4 n
4 {3 _' e( q# l% e4 E0 \% R- q% ?; F4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.3 U9 m/ w/ n& M
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1 W2 s2 k& N9 @6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area' F% e4 q+ E f1 h' Z e9 O5 K
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7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.2 j0 @, `3 `2 A' p
- Y& M2 J4 f- v3 o8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
! ~; g4 @3 Y8 j0 G! d3 X: S( f'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'; g2 ^+ a" ?6 E3 _+ c: T, q
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.; O' `( T" x- q
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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- u% E1 m5 ]1 A. g6 ^11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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, f" V* H+ U, \& u! l$ E; V# H# s13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! Q8 M: J# V) X
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And; last, but not least!)- I8 m6 k! F* z1 T
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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