 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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' W9 E. H% n; @Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.: u) j9 R, y, u2 T
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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2 [+ T! u: B0 Q5 `+ _' i4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.- w$ o0 g0 A1 X5 N% [" x
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5 r5 B% P% b6 O6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area# T* a; _, F6 B$ x
# Q8 {0 S% H6 [- p* {1 J' ^8 G7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.$ J. F4 `2 w: d3 z4 p
9 ?) z& z* P/ H: W3 i8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask9 [* y6 P# W; u7 \% z! |$ \# M0 M
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'7 }8 J0 p4 j `6 j) [$ k! V) @
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9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
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10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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- j6 R' l6 P0 e! E) f, ~' `11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.- ^! D$ u& X& F/ ?' ]7 d ~
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.- a% u, A+ u5 }% |
% W# Q9 T: ^8 G- a! U13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!7 [8 Y3 v! `8 H' H8 _, f$ u8 s
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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. D1 A. T p% f, L LAnd; last, but not least!)
( k7 J) ?: H/ I' U15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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