 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol
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; I0 \; x$ ?4 S: w* { Y+ ~" w- XThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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% p& e- }* T- W$ e; k9 g5 I. k2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals." z7 q0 p, @! O2 Q& p$ B6 _
2 ~6 W7 R: c3 d+ I% O1 \ T3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
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4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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8 R( C" C; E8 F3 [( y: _5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.5 ~& ?* F' M" c
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area7 q# _4 }* O0 R* G+ r
; O% K* w. q1 R& E2 n# z, o7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.# |% H# W& E m7 z
0 I4 I% q u- b7 l2 Z8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask% I& j1 v- u# |
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'0 t4 J. \' q; W6 V$ R
" x' {1 s+ B/ E4 t8 o* A9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose./ o) k; K( o; B S8 u$ W5 a
; v) s& D8 A' S7 U/ Z10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
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6 s" g( ^. u+ x; L11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.6 P3 v3 s; D/ t6 X: V
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14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
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" }' s2 H$ g8 |+ B7 EAnd; last, but not least!)
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