 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol0 T0 R9 } S* a( q
, [# c/ B, Q* V4 u5 M( h
! j( m- `% z1 o( e4 t( k
3 ]0 J% z9 c6 L/ v0 U" J, NThings to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
. b& S0 o5 h: F- U2 g3 W) Y% t1 X' |; @# a; S6 {
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
' J& j3 b3 ]9 g4 R& X2 D c# u1 l8 @6 \; l2 Q
( B2 |* r% t# P4 C, ]
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
4 y) p7 n1 Y) c/ v f. y$ w3 Y) Z6 i3 h
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms. y; k- [6 z- j
2 z9 P* l% d# X, \
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
- m" ~4 u: l' u9 z) Y( ?6 n0 }4 S% X
4 i, r; a6 A. p$ t* N5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
# n* j# ^+ d: |) h w# }9 Y( [
/ q; c. O& ]1 r* z/ |5 p* l) T: `3 ^0 E& A/ X. O
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
u. a6 b' V/ S% } h
( [7 f/ g! ? k6 J2 j% Q7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
; f" ^7 x# s4 T% v& k: ]9 Z4 V9 F+ {1 [
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask$ ~& q& s0 F3 D! \
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
& W3 L/ P! I& B- z4 Z- D/ O5 J
8 @) C0 ]5 H5 y( x& {9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.: z( q! ^8 _3 |/ H
+ C! |1 V6 p7 @, A6 c o10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
8 q8 k: |2 l1 r/ |# p" [3 Z
7 m R! Z* J4 z% m3 h/ D) s11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.& r- r% e" X8 J
5 F3 H( z" t0 y( j/ H9 V% u8 l
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
( T* U, F- W: q7 `7 l! l! C% p' R' |2 ^7 p/ Z
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
8 X5 C- ]4 I3 I6 d6 Q/ p7 u' e' \- y( A
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!! o% ~5 n, S& l( b
) L4 a7 I0 A9 J; m0 M0 O( P, l/ n+ XAnd; last, but not least!)
( \, f% I- V( D, T9 V15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
|