Falling in love6 M7 @9 t$ c8 f/ N' m# \
: w! @* V9 p/ I1 v
I fell in love with you ; M- x( Y- L, ?* K: oAt the first week we met % g# D+ [+ q- a& ?- T; W0 ~. s ( y. D$ s' K/ F' C) V) p7 d* ?You have charm, you have looks" w: A# } \' z+ ` h
with full of pimples in face ( }& W+ w% q1 W& gAs spotting sky at a summer night9 i8 f. J; r2 S2 ?" k2 @
They are shining stars; r1 O V" k% a
9 m/ I- _* U. RYour lip is so big o* p! ]9 x% W/ s
And that’s good for a kiss1 t4 b% w2 s3 I4 H' H
Your body is chubby- A5 F0 t+ g8 |) V& f9 ]
And that is good for sex ) [1 q V4 h* f/ O/ R# p3 Z6 X4 j+ o6 s: z/ d J* m
I was deeply in love+ O2 z1 o% Y1 _% [; [% q2 h
Everything from you is positive V: M g& w2 d! L
You blame me everything and everyday" i- C& V5 e$ {9 V
And I think all girls sound like . o1 C- ^5 r, z1 N/ R! R x" n ) q# ? K( S# s& dYou could not stand my eating, ^+ ?$ ^/ E- _7 Y# B8 @% f
Saying no good for making funny sound2 h F0 A# w P; S% Z- d
I think you are perfectly right $ ?+ F8 t# R/ E, g! r. n2 Y+ v" q$ { ]Eating with sound is a pig9 L- m( N* e# y) x& C
7 _2 I$ N" W* Y6 Y6 g; K+ c, E) LI fell in love with you % E) z z7 G. ?* h& N
Become a fool to think; x, Q7 G% z9 x
All trouble things you did $ i/ y4 z4 R k9 L2 `% e, N8 {And that is the price for love8 Q/ p7 ]$ u' l" ~
V8 Y# S9 n# @! W" `" p' Oyou are deeply in love 7 R8 v" F4 k+ o! \0 g: ~( s, H! DEverything from me is negative 1 f6 N/ c5 W* ]& V9 Z% d"My man should be like this,) I: \: m' ^; `0 _
and I am helping you to improve' ( n3 @1 Y7 J E2 e " l8 t; J* Q. U/ |% z+ T* ]You are loving me 6 d; K* X- b* v" y9 M# |or that one in your mind? ; p5 S% @; d& }( F* d* nMy mind is like a mud $ j* n# U# x0 c" Q) d# h' j( V$ pcan be shaped whatever you want / h& [7 x6 \1 v% N3 W# K {4 \" l( i3 {7 L/ s7 g m4 ?
unfortunalety not my heart 3 X/ V: C- c( I5 o; XIt is slashed by you 8 g2 W% o4 z. n
and I am seriously hurt. {6 K8 E2 f" U# s% @
% M% J( ]' H3 V1 h) E
I will never love another 2 Q1 d' e* R7 n2 V7 I( {/ o4 {
If my heart can be fixed
sweeite, * l0 p1 x) r3 A; M4 Q3 W* t' j/ E
i am sorry to say that ur poem sucks. 3 y* d0 d6 G( Q. B kAnd this is something I change. Whatever left r too sucky to be changed ; D& Q. |% v, D( }: |# |; W $ [ W9 [3 W- Q( C! Q* ]) Nwith the charm,4 x3 n* O( p# j# ^- q& F" G. a8 q* S
with the simles.5 h3 O- E. s, X7 V4 M6 [6 p
I fell in love with you " H; O! K2 t5 ^# |In the first sign.) ]: V# p8 g R$ T* z& n3 k1 v) `
As spotting sky at a summer , `4 q9 L6 O& d& G; k( N5 w; a6 ?1 H1 Y. H: ~2 a0 G
Your lip is so soft 2 _8 `# l( y! p8 h0 J. r Qthere is not honey can sweeter than ur kiss : T) S, j5 H x# T' ZYour body is so sexy+ K/ d% K: Q) h) A* g
And I cannt image the moment I touch u. 1 F5 x+ p" A5 ~- A$ s& T! e0 D5 w% I* n6 k
I am deeply in love ! k, v$ _# W* [% R: r OEverything from you is so charming5 E! w' g1 N! X6 M% P* h7 j1 W
although You r so picky for me " t( J" @2 M5 w
And I take them as ur buttefly feelings.
THis is the poem in SNTC S2 and it is not a good one 2. 1 ]; a- Z0 n2 sBut u can copy the way how she ranges the poem) O) a) J1 A' {. v9 |
# r; u* {( v% ]+ Z1 @2 _% s) Q$ }7 q- K6 n
His hello is the end of her endings ! Q# H0 n7 H1 O2 S) EHer laugh is their first step down the aisle , h+ j; z( A w7 N) t/ W; uHis hand would be hers to hold forever 8 b8 T- D4 _! |: v& WHis forever is simply as her smile # F3 } K+ Q! Z& l7 Y l
He said she was what was missing7 _! K+ R8 X( H$ e+ p4 s
She said instantly she knew * W: ~" ~8 Y$ ~She was a question to be answered i/ H6 M, X1 _
And his answer is / `- N9 g3 s) A1 Q1 t/ U$ HI do
Rain bow, you are so right. You improved it , and now it is much better. Seems you also like poems. that is good and wish to keep in touch with each other. Merry Xmas. L* Q [' @. }1 V- t
! B- k5 R' K& u6 i! q* }: [Below is my new one, any comment?
It’s amazing how I felt 9 g8 \. O% [4 n* J- O3 G8 W9 v f' G o* l' G
It's amazing how I felt . k C+ I9 W4 V- v
when I was with you3 k' ]8 P3 y6 b1 E
My heart beat so fast! K }' n) L. N2 s- ^4 a
I looked at you and thought& B1 D5 i6 R7 Q1 f- N1 b
Holy Jesus, you were so cute1 [" B t' L. l1 `4 |, L4 a1 g
& k' D4 s& r5 rYou left me without a word9 s3 ]. z3 ^0 n' Z
I have nothing except my emptiness : d: z7 V8 _: `My mood is like a cloud 3 w$ [$ x8 d b) [4 d6 WHow could it be dispersed?# x# v8 I) _4 J2 h: u% ^
- c0 v- t8 P' s) v
Feelings bite my heart 5 `. b |0 I1 h+ a: I) nYou are the right one I wait, S: {4 }4 {9 Z! A8 K
In the depth of my soul1 l, \9 j( j9 z3 U$ O E" y
I will love you till I'm dead
闻一多怎么说来着,诗歌有音乐美,建筑美,绘画美. P; P% f+ I# }) t
你的就是白花文,而且很多英文的用法根本不地道 4 G% S+ o# Y. h& c就和用中文写一次8 ~' \# B! J7 a4 w( D& A; H p' E
阿,我爱你3 N. V e! e/ A
你让我心跳好快5 f: q+ u+ h4 G8 P* K3 @, g$ R
你让我脸发热 6 j ?& `6 F2 F- Z我爱上你的大嘴唇 O2 [$ F9 t9 S, x- v
XXXXX5 H( o6 c& _& {+ a" M& I, A$ x& t3 v u
不知道你能不能受得了这样的中文呢?) o3 b2 U. T4 [# P) S
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如果你写得如此白话文的话,不如向你喜欢的女子写封LOVE LETTER) R v: m, @) Q2 t
至于,你最缺乏的意境,强烈要求你参考我给你贴的诗歌, 看看别人怎么用最白话的文字,写出有绘画美,建筑美和音乐美的东西