Crazy English! Zt

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. M7 O0 v7 y( R; @8 ^2 [- F0 OCrazy English!

4 E) `; O7 _- o8 ?+ I9 ]We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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/ I5 i- z6 C" B: H' ^7 P& XOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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; U2 Q( B4 {( H! HYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

, E' Q6 N' D; y( `2 _+ W+ ~: IIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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9 N3 c, g4 u8 d! M* `3 RIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

- a8 H! I9 i0 f8 n9 ^If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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  t; b% b0 Q' GThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

6 M( c& ]/ M( c) TWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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' M4 ?- T( W- E" g% @* TThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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. A: R! P; {% TThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

; G( E! A. r9 U7 b+ l* r: O* E; uDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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3 r' H, l, l( v- EIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?

8 I& L+ |5 F; Z" [9 U2 `# ZHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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5 r/ e: x% x$ w) MYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
1 J0 |9 S% v1 _3 S. k$ @/ MHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane