Crazy English! Zt

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ZT


Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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% b+ m3 t1 Q$ VOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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3 j# n6 u& u3 M0 zIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

2 f+ Z+ ^. R' Q) ^1 j6 E$ J7 e4 }If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

5 z- T2 a( O( DThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

7 y3 H* `- Q& F9 j( T) s# l2 OLet's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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4 `, Z/ [6 M2 ?$ j0 PAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

: q6 K8 [0 D: O" u( RDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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8 |3 x% P( c6 z% i* kIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

  k. [# ~( w8 f; aIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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# W" z& Y9 h. ~' I1 MIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

* _) Q1 e, F, _/ l( OShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

* u8 z: D4 _, TYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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1 Z/ S- r. P& b3 `* C) \0 m: tSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane