Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
9 @* z1 c: S4 R, l; h) H1 oMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. N9 F6 E: W+ GDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
) v8 ?. A" M* x6 x' x

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 P1 m( R$ `2 E0 R8 y: T, HCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 O, u& F" ?3 ?' n% K( fvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
. f1 e# m1 f. k3 X! I: WSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
1 J; M, y( h. ~' Y; BThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; `/ V( C1 I" [! N& o" A2 wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' `# x7 }2 `4 c" @) @in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ {& c! {! [& j- jMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 S6 H* E+ y2 M$ `$ c5 c3 Bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
% ^9 W3 D$ r0 r& uMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ S0 j% F1 ~5 c/ T" r2 r- I: s8 Hcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
" l* @9 I: R+ ~! Z0 }2 ian embarrassment the next.
  a8 m3 L& T* I- E' I" aMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
( Y; W6 v6 h+ [4 Q+ p5 eMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
# g3 Q  n# G' bResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
8 O: ?& v" E2 Z3 l6 X/ g, D4 Yjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
8 C% }% e* |7 i9 O2 k, ]9 Z1 wYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
$ T% [5 L' @; L8 Rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
  k% ^3 X. r0 ]can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
( z) B5 m8 V) m) mOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
# e$ R% L6 \: K) A9 _7 N$ tof the assumption that college will help them
( r. ^) O4 y4 X# @  Q' Mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
# w5 ?% m/ Q& M* T0 a8 I) y+ q5 IThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
% j# _# K! {5 fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ M' _8 \' V2 Y  c* R$ \0 k4 N9 r
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
7 B, S+ J6 K. {! `1 R: ano stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
  l" }/ F6 z& U+ F" ^9 }
for life if you play your cards right.
0 g+ Q! Q# u/ B6 w


+ `0 k: [- L$ W2 w( m8 }
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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+ y! u1 h& x, `5 B/ _Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
1 u' N+ v. V! {; T; gletting them know they are appreciated
0 O9 D) W( F* l4 @( ]for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
5 i" ]' ?0 e& h/ h; R7 M0 I7 Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.