Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
: x3 J3 C3 j0 D; J7 j: ^8 @+ |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ q" J8 K- Z9 n& qLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
8 R5 K) u7 H' \' lCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
  [5 {" S$ x& U; e! Cvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
  O" ?" r& ]9 A% X0 wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
- ?4 D1 B6 A- i% a/ Gendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
: P' M+ a3 v! F% L- ~# p' hExtensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
) k& {( C  G$ Z  G+ w! ZThe rest of your life.
. G* J4 U1 v! [$ UMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
6 w. G# j8 d4 h1 k# G$ N$ hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 K: B+ T- j8 g7 F; Yand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' B# h6 J0 t1 a' Zin case, this time, the screams from
" }- S( B- t' T1 l; z' B8 o. ^the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
4 b9 q9 `7 K- p# j( qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
9 z) ~" e8 l  a3 OMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! H. h* r5 l5 [+ s. x0 i) Jhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
, p9 h1 m: |+ |# _4 cMust assume final, complete accountability for
) V. F% _/ L! X3 |% i% {# Xthe quality of the end product.
; l4 L  Q+ b' p/ W8 vResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

: p$ H) ^6 a& o$ w# d8 uPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
: P& G& M) K' G$ i* s+ f, XNone.
) ?; ^1 @: q0 f$ nYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 i+ f" t4 E2 POn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 M3 w' W% p1 ~% \& K2 u+ @Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 B0 E9 P' D+ Q( g8 s* J% Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
+ W% ?( s. _# f2 Oof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

  g2 P4 m4 g  j" K( d% ZBENEFITS:
4 q0 t, z; L/ _0 a% NWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
! |+ p( R; e( m  \( y7 y" d# jno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 \* A2 k  U& B' a& m* i! D$ aletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
# P0 R* i& G6 Z2 [# Fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.