Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
) ~% i0 p, @, _" z$ ~- o9 C4 I8 k) Z3 {Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

6 }! j  u+ u4 m% o9 ]; I' ?permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
: i5 d+ |3 h: k; ^9 S0 E1 C. Cand organizational skills and be willing to work
. g; {% E' J/ D8 n( Q1 qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
% d8 z% Y$ r* [3 m- {) j$ Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; l0 I- v5 l! Y# Z* l5 ~# L! Xprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
$ n) X; t8 ~% Y8 |" ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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4 U2 V, R, d5 C2 k1 t) BRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
* H, g( n1 I: ^0 ]% TMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
- `0 e* S$ h8 O' hAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
" Y9 H# K' M. I$ m# T; a: N6 l* ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; ~& I6 e' z) l* Fsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* T$ R2 W6 t3 t4 D5 z9 O- wMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
1 e* W2 L: A0 }6 sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
) {1 T+ q# x6 R: l( A' ZMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 b7 A% j( |3 D8 Z% bMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" l! F% i( H; z+ ?3 A4 W; QResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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+ W1 K' C  ?% Q3 A# s) c/ S+ DPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
( x( v& h+ A2 S+ a: L5 s9 m6 |None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
* V4 M7 i/ M( a& l+ Aupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

+ v8 r8 F5 i1 x7 L5 [2 TWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
4 N) x/ A4 |; Y, a( C+ N4 a* j  dOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
$ Y% S; a, l, a5 V: p# `" m+ v/ Ba balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 \- |7 q- W! }; l4 T, \9 H, lof the assumption that college will help them
! k8 N& |& H! _become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
% N- n2 U8 v$ K( K  e' K& i$ JThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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4 N0 n4 J; L( X2 T' jBENEFITS:
/ A$ K( k6 |  k& CWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
1 i7 r4 h1 q  E: C6 l" H* ]no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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0 a. u1 f5 f# s- o, Qfor life if you play your cards right.
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* r% X7 O3 a; h5 J. F  [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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) M* n8 l0 n( S3 p3 A1 hForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
3 H5 ]+ q- e# I$ {. Qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.