Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
% J# M) G* c! o- W7 ~Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. e) g  d8 j) gDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
" N8 d5 s3 p9 l/ d7 k* Tvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! \4 _$ h; |5 s' t4 O1 {; q4 S+ aTravel expenses not reimbursed.
% z6 M2 e: |* h1 i' T" }Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
1 N$ L3 d  ]) k, X9 o2 rMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
. P( n1 F4 ~5 G# q8 s# duntil someone needs $5.
! }9 x& m% _8 L, U4 G- ~+ QMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
' R* L( E" S0 g7 iAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( K- n$ Q2 S, }$ V& T6 Wand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
( e5 }0 h0 L6 j! K8 J, vin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
0 O/ k+ _& O+ C8 p, n& N# C, [Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
0 N+ X! S2 v8 C) \Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( a! \/ |" q# R8 X: FMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% @, t' N; }/ b) X9 G" nan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 G: l6 \9 l) t. `) }. g2 zhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
" u7 m' }' u& `the quality of the end product.
& g: b- L) X4 M. R( v7 D( GResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
! F) N, n4 M. S: T. @% FYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
- z4 @' @! i2 n) rwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
$ C: o9 f6 O) P1 R6 ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' L* a5 Z: d. Z; E' Ican ultimately surpass you.
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( t7 e; N# z9 O* M: ?0 fPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
( F$ L6 M0 j/ a( e( P$ fNone required, unfortunately.
. K9 S* Y# i6 `" r0 |On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

* O) a5 W) r6 ]7 I( w  AWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) N# D# _2 I5 N) e; o8 R# x( ^/ sOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ H$ W& H, }1 {' f; N' S& ka balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 `, k. J/ z3 @! T1 p$ w/ Dyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
, ?+ A+ O6 D# EWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
# f* f* ^6 K: i& U- Kno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) J' a7 T" @3 t9 v- o/ Iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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& M! E( T! d2 Y8 _: U
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% x# l2 ?. |! uForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
0 P& N8 X8 p0 m/ _; aor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.