Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

) ?9 o; X1 d* {1 e' y
. s5 J5 [4 a& C( {) fJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 s+ x; w+ |! i+ c1 Jvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& x$ Q% n2 X/ v! VSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
' j% {  c7 j3 l/ Z$ L; g- yExtensive courier duties also required.
7 n  \) w) ~4 \( v& y
8 O4 k7 N/ o$ ^7 a" Y& b* }1 {RESPONSIBILITIES:
0 d, P9 s4 \. C/ K, uThe rest of your life.
6 N7 B% G! j% A/ i6 EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 I4 P% j6 p7 G6 B3 \8 huntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
# g5 G6 v0 E, }+ D5 F9 Wthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
  [! B  c8 r' }: f, V! }  H9 y# V7 }Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
6 S2 s+ G5 `; u8 l( f0 bsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
& r5 I9 z4 E( F5 S% b7 Z1 {Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
# a: s" n1 n7 V, x; K0 G: V8 z/ fMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
  H" p1 ]- v" T4 ian embarrassment the next.
8 Y; h. ~3 L2 F& u% DMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
- y) G! V9 Q5 q+ V: l2 g! |the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
) p5 M; w0 t5 i9 Njanitorial work  throughout the facility.
' S, U$ K9 s- F+ |& ?
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
. ]9 m3 H- D, ?$ A# xYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ h( G: s- a: O( P/ C$ l3 u* wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
. H4 T  P( i4 _0 lupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
) _0 h" k$ _3 C9 ?/ \" C) O) Jcan ultimately surpass you.
+ O8 K; |2 U5 S; ]* Y

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
5 h$ d3 v3 B3 Q& R' {None required, unfortunately.
- g# ]" J) G* wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
8 s9 D3 V# t! M: Z! _/ A$ t2 L
  P# b) t6 e4 J* OWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
0 l, T* R& Q+ c% c2 T' W5 }Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 t: \. c/ j" j( X) h3 m) K% H6 {a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
8 p( N& @, U. B5 H  G5 @become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
/ s: Z4 v( Y% r8 {& rThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
) l$ b& ~& d! ]+ D' @
BENEFITS:
( k3 V) x/ ^+ s: Z9 B) J( h0 V: V( AWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* Z4 x; a0 a# ?( O+ a9 kno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

) E+ F5 v/ r6 G4 [7 b* u0 [( yunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

  A8 ^* A$ t) t1 |' ^for life if you play your cards right.



! {  `! N/ k6 L) O
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
+ @: P" m, D8 ^3 j# Q1 g" R* |


. k4 {+ Q0 y  O! v0 _Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
& ^3 F/ z, L  x; bletting them know they are appreciated
. @; P) t8 d, ]2 y& X# \) d" |for the fabulous job they do...
0 L3 u7 x  L) v* Y1 c! Z) Lor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
( S4 B7 y! ~& l% _

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.