Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
, n/ I; c" B# C! e; A8 X( ]: ]Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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4 K& z/ G1 ~; w3 S; A! [% ~( B$ gJOB DESCRIPTION:
/ u4 x9 W! T* oLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
- l1 a5 M* G! F9 a& {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
- H) n1 Z! \4 E$ aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
; Z& w- G, |/ v- ^/ k0 `Some overnight travel required, including trips to
! e+ M# f9 a8 @+ R" K1 Z+ kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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" M) V6 ~% _, G4 X1 S/ h% W5 qRESPONSIBILITIES:
$ J2 u& f' n5 w4 m7 e, MThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
0 ~; w1 W$ ]$ X: f/ _# ~, cuntil someone needs $5.
$ F# @% B* p! j6 a# Q- S7 z/ _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ M+ Q+ D6 ?; XAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
& e. J# u: P3 D6 o1 Y4 z+ H6 Ein case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 e! M4 e4 h9 m' J& Band stuck zippers.
5 u* m- T$ }- w4 _& MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 L( e; W& K- K9 Z5 acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
) h* ]8 g! b: WMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
8 u9 u6 ]( b5 ?, j% {$ KMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 w# K( w5 _$ L; {. Q# XMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
8 W1 h' W( _8 F0 W4 ^+ M7 `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
" x/ F4 V, q8 _- B' b. `# r& T! k; ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.

; K; R0 X& H& o- j4 o" U  XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
, h& s+ z, x- }1 V3 C2 T1 |3 k, L$ Bcan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
. z, ^2 r; t" |7 {& J4 L  @On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

8 ?* `7 V6 l, Y. q2 iWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* N3 m/ v( k! U' W  Xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& m% g( T  x: s; P0 T6 nbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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3 z0 `& u: }# ~% A$ ^BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
. l! x( w* ?; @) S0 pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

; \/ w: N" `8 _0 Y' }2 i/ Vunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
1 b' I1 h5 `& ]7 ]! o' J
for life if you play your cards right.
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% h$ W/ H. \" e: ]. V4 F0 K** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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6 {: a( _& M/ a  eForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 |. o  S8 D" @3 c" T2 Xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
: q( t/ {5 F: O. \+ G% M, e- ior forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.