Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
( p; G/ p" u% X. z7 z! AMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ E4 L0 V, K4 N) g$ V' e! Y! pJOB DESCRIPTION:
; W% \/ e$ Y1 I# h% xLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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  ^- I8 m" g+ B8 p+ cpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
7 e5 ~! O, @+ f# ]3 F9 }2 f! JSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
, `1 Y; y& x# jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 r4 S5 s. U/ `8 |/ HExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
/ ~3 J4 u: }: OThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* p% o! s# P) k5 M9 runtil someone needs $5.
" x. D. n( p( d. \& ^Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
( I1 M3 E/ t6 Gand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
& o1 t8 h3 {0 [" ~; `) {the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ D2 i1 l% h! O2 p1 s6 zMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 {8 o0 c2 @! q/ q0 h) X4 F  Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 w+ y6 R/ Q& y2 r+ ^+ Qand stuck zippers.
/ m3 t+ Z, c! e  a+ r( ?) DMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- s& C0 M5 I  `" Rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 }- S* ^- f& CMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: S+ j$ g. x9 ]( F# m4 O3 DMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
' h' e6 H- c+ `$ A% Van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 q3 ]) y4 T' yMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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6 {6 K6 `) q3 T% i8 E. k8 lPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 n: T7 o: E! FNone.
# O# t0 e9 ^0 g4 z2 Q1 `5 _$ H* PYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
& q0 |+ k% |+ O0 t% {* cupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
# v3 ?, f+ U, x- j' E5 ], rcan ultimately surpass you.
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' N' ^. @9 C/ x( {: U6 ^) zPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
; V8 s* p: I4 }- C4 d  I3 ROn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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% y2 R# h1 r6 t; rWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
$ M( A' a! Z) X, J: jOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
2 q( Z6 P$ P% za balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
; B+ g( f& F0 @+ t9 D1 }/ ], l9 Wof the assumption that college will help them
$ w$ B  q) K/ b; ]become financially independent.
3 |) Y+ K4 N. U& C0 yWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
2 R8 [5 h& {, q- g! m6 V; JThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# J9 @3 P/ O8 o' ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

3 t1 y9 `) V% D1 m% n/ l; B4 hBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
4 R: P# V/ d- O$ J- z$ ino tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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4 K# [$ X# Q+ ?7 _6 I) zForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
5 N+ v9 C& `' A& uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.