Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


  k4 J# X& ]. x! t: V2 k0 s7 z# jJOB DESCRIPTION:
- o9 \( r' }4 D, S! p7 _, R8 VLong term, team players needed for challenging,
9 _- z1 R9 t8 O
$ y# l) a/ c: j6 R2 d5 ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
6 Z' r5 h; i  i& U, e6 eand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 e, p- [1 q7 X: ITravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
) R0 x6 u  _! V0 {* o( }The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
5 G7 H/ m) {* @" sand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
) M4 j$ G& D& y: LMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
: \; y+ f  |; y: vand stuck zippers.
& u! m% y, s4 J- L' Y7 f6 ~3 M' CMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
8 v+ _- ?* v4 g8 sMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
5 E  ]* `  X& F" ]: R7 ^+ I: r! R6 Ian embarrassment the next.
' p/ @  U/ J- S" c, ?1 CMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
8 {5 d' M0 y7 |* I1 k, A) v$ @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! |. W. p1 W. k! O% g$ p; m( w& Pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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, T( G2 ^. U0 ?, S+ O& D0 y3 b& VPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 m$ y& w, I7 YNone.
" ~9 R5 a* u0 ?( }Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
  J) f- ^) H# K" u& Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
2 W- a: K$ u: D+ z& ~, \can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
) V9 S/ S+ l7 N* H' F# `* l0 T* VOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
0 i% W: a  b+ u9 O) J4 R1 ?. fyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) X$ ~* `) ]9 {) V( ano stock options are offered,
$ U! T: H( J! ^* g, |/ D+ p* Vthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

6 {* o% [7 I, l' l: O3 i. kunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
/ d4 @1 |! k* R1 \( S. p1 U
for life if you play your cards right.

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# S+ X  K! h( B, k0 ~** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, P* S4 ~/ s) U# a* Q/ `2 _+ C* _letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
; d- j: G' o8 zto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.