Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
4 H* }' Z8 d4 m+ ]Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
, t# X' y7 D# N: lLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 _3 P- z2 o: a/ S" r; D; tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" e" I+ k! ^7 t) w! K' l8 fCandidates must possess excellent communication
  `/ a: t' e5 S# J! E: Gand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 n$ r7 {9 F* `$ H* s+ @3 [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
& N5 B+ d3 c1 b; kSome overnight travel required, including trips to
# _* f1 V# n. gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) h! V  E' n* g" I) C! S9 V8 `4 `endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
! l5 A! [4 U* }4 m& @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
6 F+ t; Q8 Q! _! \9 @, pExtensive courier duties also required.

% l: U- I1 ]- PRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
$ w8 [* e2 z3 U6 uuntil someone needs $5.
9 P  U5 }1 H4 u8 e: Q8 oMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
$ N- G) }. `3 P+ }- Y" Tand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
. F" j: p/ T  u9 Rin case, this time, the screams from
  t; }1 K$ P! x8 pthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
0 d6 E/ y: X! W4 G+ Psuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
2 m7 d4 Q/ c# O* @, tMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- u8 Y: W4 b7 Tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* S2 P9 p2 Z/ r, C  `9 o$ w) ^an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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$ X( Z+ [' U8 {( ^' h2 q, EPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 s; G, m4 }9 vNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
6 B3 }& ~9 e, ?  xwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
! V0 I2 S, U. j$ C7 wupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
" K  ^/ n) a) n. p# f, {) ^' Zcan ultimately surpass you.

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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
  D3 G8 ^( u' n0 ~6 eGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
7 _2 Q- _9 J2 T- i: T) _% gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
! S& x2 U+ O- g; GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
4 }0 g% d8 C& `& a- B1 n% r$ F* w% WThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
  ?1 a" e9 S7 H: S, Dno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

3 J: X* z6 t+ e2 M- h5 ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
1 N" `6 V# L! L/ f* N! [4 _' z
for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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% I" v6 O) k! V8 VForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
( J- l! S  g$ z5 y* \0 E6 fletting them know they are appreciated
6 x, }2 u  c" A! i: [* sfor the fabulous job they do...
* o9 \* K9 B1 m1 I( Vor forward with love
+ F$ r1 v& j' ~) uto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.