Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
/ q- b3 X. Q( t4 o1 w, T5 LMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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. E2 q9 x+ T! }& P/ u$ ^/ o9 EJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
5 H$ k6 a- Z) h6 K+ j7 w- |- HCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
0 Z# B7 Q' t, u- ]9 c' Q3 z0 Qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
" z: |; x: W( v- v' l. ~primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

; p/ \, s' a# V$ G5 `RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
- u7 V' L9 r8 R3 P8 B& tMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
% d0 Q- W3 b. l+ e/ ]until someone needs $5.
) x+ ?6 t# I$ ?5 m# pMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
8 c3 o" O* Y2 i% H0 R1 [, ?and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
& J& L) M9 U  O' B" v+ Q" H" M8 ?the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
& Q  N- F  {% vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
' F' V- r: N* J8 Y4 i. Iand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 i& Z$ R) y" f5 SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
8 m6 _! |* x" A) J* D+ |& d" t" L) QMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
4 o6 q' C  C; O; q& _janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
" T5 }0 K' n7 G1 B) F% n' m: cNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! Y# q( k% y. _0 z! a# `/ pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
/ k% p6 y0 I+ z! O) Z. Y- bupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- {4 @. {! Q' {/ f( k: Gcan ultimately surpass you.
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  ^2 Z8 _6 V# xPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' y/ v5 y) ~) B: x1 L% X9 qOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
* J* O: a; _5 f' r. R4 R- HGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  D' a0 ~+ Y0 S" \+ A8 W3 ~+ e8 Gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
5 [& R$ t) U6 Z$ l5 l# T6 @1 xWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
- e8 a6 c# V8 x. R: t  e  U7 eWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
6 ], I& c# K( Y4 E" G! Wno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
5 ?' U* W0 @6 l' W$ x9 Ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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0 |: T' n" c* o9 R$ lunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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* S) [, y% p) [for life if you play your cards right.

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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



6 X% e( c  L7 T" s9 EForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- v* L: j3 z' |3 @letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
8 U; r* f3 c9 l/ V3 s7 }, {4 @or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.