Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
! W0 s8 g1 n& d( [5 [& VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ d7 ?  }2 Q' [JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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0 q8 ]! t! t# k& L5 E( o' w7 o& Dpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
' N& r# T! @! i, I9 o4 V% k6 n. YCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 f4 x# i. n$ Z0 g5 _! m3 qvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
' o( I1 T$ @; M: A+ o) [and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
' h9 J8 K% c6 U" ?' @+ T( J) _9 jendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
8 ~' B8 x( V" k+ ?& m. @; oTravel expenses not reimbursed.
# F1 Y) [9 j# G1 [% y  X% QExtensive courier duties also required.
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# }9 t5 G4 ]) C0 x5 l+ ~- DRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
( W7 U& v- K2 m0 Y# ^! S8 pMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
/ v9 \! T: o% Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
% t7 ]1 a% e* V6 q6 H4 p+ Nin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
/ C. G6 Z5 y' i& ~! DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
1 ?, w/ d* d& X6 F9 Asuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) t' t' `- G' d! Gand stuck zippers.
1 h% X, A; C3 L% l5 XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% b3 C0 R0 s: x% ]0 mcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
1 D+ t6 ?+ w, J7 Z6 O+ MMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
: f6 ^: S% y& ~* W, SMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
: [6 |4 b5 I( A$ l) |an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
9 p; P# n6 A# phalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
+ t7 U) }* p1 X3 J, _& L! P' d" C: b6 EMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
) A& i! J- o1 X/ z* U* mthe quality of the end product.
& E! Z+ @5 N% ^0 V7 u( T( k  YResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 c# z4 P2 d& I( F( x+ VNone.
# c; j. A. Q+ A7 A7 w6 f. IYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
5 I% h, A) ~) l& U* G! Swithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
9 l% _# I( L2 ?# Gcan ultimately surpass you.


2 W+ ?  o9 X2 o5 \( s6 CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 k8 f& g$ C: X2 COn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
% K" ^# I2 R, v5 Z- B$ uOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
) Z) D' S0 H8 x4 N+ o  Jbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
. k- `: Q6 f$ V4 f, C0 ?; @' J; yThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
# w9 F3 n7 \7 |" O4 d2 N8 ?- T1 T3 uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

; a4 [2 k$ I% C0 |BENEFITS:
' }. w% w0 o7 z2 `+ w% b; [While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
) n) w+ X) j6 \, q: uno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
( {- Z- P$ F/ g! A+ @4 Kno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



# M4 E7 v  c# g+ `7 M8 [( ]Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 i9 L: m* k0 Iletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.