 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ a3 N, s) O7 B% H8 a3 A
( ?$ T8 N( S4 p+ V- cI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
: @8 _! k$ M% J
: Z; Q3 N4 }' F9 [6 gI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.5 H1 C0 e/ D$ e# _# R. X/ D$ H% T; j0 w
9 _& B) [& X( R* Q$ r- ]I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:' @+ z. c% J6 }% j& W% J
% @* a7 O$ h& Y$ h8 B: L"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"7 c" G3 J$ ?6 O# Z. |
* P0 q0 A7 U9 rI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ ]# Z1 M: j( I8 l) y* i. ^* N
9 J1 R( ~0 @+ [0 f! V
And the second one was:- Z$ S) y1 P, U: ^1 s) _) A1 |
, d# o9 x7 \. B% n( V
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
3 i! L0 d1 A: K
& O! v- j( Z" D9 U; DI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" m; H" b6 s" ?4 P' I
4 T3 v' ~: W; O"What is Roe vs. Wade?"7 p" i1 V) _/ T
- x7 ?& B# ?/ O* o l* J9 z7 X: HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
0 B3 @# I7 I9 p3 \, u0 t( j: n; Q: N) e. J5 T+ E
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
% ?, ]' h% q" u2 O; ]" O" B" A% c3 n+ g7 G
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 w1 v, e a2 w$ K1 T" P
$ e0 Z* D$ _0 l' B# rSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
2 H: z! A; z% B2 L& k* n% A- `; ~6 j+ q
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”+ B. w0 W8 k! B9 G
# P8 }; F6 k. o' D$ T9 z
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
) u" W" F2 Z' m( O" p$ b' y
3 ?% u j8 J# i b, c) w& BThank you very much!
6 m/ X l- e* h6 B9 y l3 t$ X. J7 |+ \. S$ Y0 E
==========================; F8 |6 N- i& _6 T( V
% ^0 L6 H5 V( {/ T+ G) \Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:; V4 x: W4 M ~' @* L
0 h3 Z$ L A( m" ]# N
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.2 O4 E7 u) ~. w6 ^ F+ G$ I" A$ Z
4 h3 w. \4 k, T! C2 S0 A! a4 C$ C* G
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.( |" y. x5 _6 x, V. f
% E' n" _5 M5 }- }: s% |5 t) V
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
" L4 R5 ?. w$ R" O* K
$ X; b; p: N0 I* _ m6 RJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
7 p( g. W2 t! O7 u6 Y6 s4 r, B
( o6 c: D3 D. R6 mRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
3 r+ {9 Z- _1 E6 p# V7 Y
8 j7 w T% A/ ]9 b3 JThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
