 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.6 ^% y$ h# e( E- J% p
+ Z6 P* _8 ]) S0 _1 a g( c# P/ wI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.* I1 P, i5 k# S5 d, L) X
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.* J$ B: l4 B0 y9 c& F1 V
0 e6 S* c7 L, s0 i# f* TI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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/ Y" m6 E& J+ [5 x"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?% A& N6 ^' _; }+ W, R7 M; k
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And the second one was:! u, l5 |( b0 r- R) y
) @8 w0 k9 V# f; d9 ^"What's the 2nd Amendment?"" G+ h; D0 A0 }- m$ |; e; V: j( E
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"+ E8 N0 u& R& p; r
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?" x/ h) e, p, D
) J; |' a P- rI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 L& ]! W3 o1 j1 Z( G% L
# \/ s0 p2 O" y- USo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.! n f( \3 s* S! B$ g
& N: i. S* `* f& N# tThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill., |- s/ |7 @/ Y. }! T" J
; y4 y, x; ]/ c& C0 ]8 k* f7 x2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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/ z9 B/ u; k9 n0 G$ \Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".! L, p3 h, Y8 d
2 Q* ?( w" g; a/ `( J# U2 ]9 _* x" SRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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s8 m1 z$ f$ R7 y) |! VThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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