 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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7 p; |9 O! h" x/ BI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:: b @# D9 ?: n& x$ ~1 Y
8 E9 E" h6 A, ^" r"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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# u5 j/ e" K! [1 P5 a. |& NI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ P3 R4 v5 g, {( h6 U
( F+ u! t8 B1 D, c v0 KAnd the second one was:1 a( O2 W0 d6 x0 G# O& W( H
8 x7 n. `2 Q6 |8 X8 E9 c"What's the 2nd Amendment?"& Q' a- b1 k' b5 j5 Y% }( y# }
5 l$ I4 V' b5 t+ K. x& H6 y( b# tI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 D6 {/ `, ]9 ?. I5 d8 y2 q
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?2 a( j2 s1 {3 B
" I5 o0 K4 h% y: t3 T; G) lI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen.", T8 }7 l. _4 e/ ~* L+ i! M9 \
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 u+ S: l0 t8 [
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.. n" ?( o( {9 }/ S$ e( D# I
3 o/ `+ V7 n# qThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:" q$ T' @0 p5 e y ]6 C% v( |6 c
. e6 J: O8 E# |3 o! `% X+ D' i# w1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.$ d3 ~7 x; g* }
: Z+ N3 J& T& @5 g9 Q6 i2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms./ d$ { a- a4 {+ Y6 ]) Y
6 [' W9 F" X5 K7 e/ {/ |8 ~( x"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.- j( o0 J) T3 k1 P0 B( h' d4 p: u
7 i) h- t! u# J# cThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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