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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* P% Q. \1 K: p+ v. E0 Y
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 C, `) E% p) d3 f3 U5 R2 @: U7 ?
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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0 X' T/ J& F. Y' b. n# gI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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- {; l% J& h, \5 |/ m: r"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- A3 ?$ j7 @- K* Y
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( y3 `% d+ i( n
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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, Y" F" F( s- N1 S- S" sI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* L! J$ |6 z- K

0 `) x/ P# e* WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 a0 G) o2 U+ B3 b( U$ v2 ~
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 S4 R6 R7 B: R

  T1 U% m8 S) @- V: XThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!& D: G% u) _9 `5 X4 f' H

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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.6 J; j/ _1 B' Q7 U! A% {8 \
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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. F/ _! S1 G; M: y- L1 a' n"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& S2 b* X8 p" t: ^8 W8 Z2 T2 _) b
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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- \4 D; c$ n" z' h5 [- JRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* S  P* K, B! ~1 F! J
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
: X0 }! G: e  b: \a young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。* d7 M" W0 G* P$ F
怎么理解?7 H; c# O3 r( i$ k7 ~3 d7 `
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116 * K( H2 C( {2 B+ o, d0 w$ f& @
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( J- [& H. _9 A7 R5 o4 D不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。8 r" D) t' H/ q; ~$ V
怎么理解?
! l# @- {0 ^4 b2 \  V5 L50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
* A! p. G  q# `8 q" [9 T7 Gcyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

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0 C: l$ A  z$ ~$ X) g我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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