 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.5 P$ `/ [" ~; o8 I% i
7 I5 d5 g2 |8 h M+ _/ |/ F0 E" Q4 YI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.5 D* S/ d p$ w2 ^9 p6 D1 N- x
: W& g) `3 i5 nI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
, j& ^" c9 t; C0 E
- G% I& K9 o: s: r) I/ q) LI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! H$ }. W3 C% W7 q* D; ]2 P
2 z, ]# L: C1 G4 k0 t1 S4 v( i2 ?"Who's Benjamin Franklin?". ]7 M! h+ O$ p) c1 W2 L
' Z7 t& h5 X. B6 V2 a& B& E- O- v
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?- C3 } {3 @# P3 V. \# X* [
8 S& g. b/ ~* Q
And the second one was:1 @2 Q1 E0 f/ K8 K# h8 Q
. m. r! }" w3 }- m0 b. m
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
7 @5 p. s. `! g$ f0 E M+ w, D5 N
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
4 y0 x! ]/ r' ]: M9 V6 k; e5 }7 _0 r" A
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"3 S. S- X7 p# d2 ?+ h6 u8 H
7 q! g: X# P @! X" Z. ^2 A
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
, \( Z9 C# w0 H- U! f7 _2 k _! m
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!+ n+ w' F# x* u7 q: T* Y$ g
' @. ~2 X) F2 Y) L0 Z& ]
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."# A) ~3 Q' Z5 X2 ^) w) ?' c
y- R6 X; Z/ O, q& c+ `$ kSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
3 H) V) d( ?/ K. o2 d0 N& x) ]4 `# z" j+ o0 ]# L1 z
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
! T- R+ u0 h1 h; t( X' [2 t, k M& w& M0 |* J4 ?
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
) s- e. A0 g1 {: u9 @8 k" L7 M0 H
* j4 z+ L7 p( q, }Thank you very much!2 o& ]. r3 N; w* Q
# F6 B \: q! O$ K; l. b==========================
0 n( I/ S$ S6 \, \6 D. e% _$ ^! K
6 s, G g. i' KImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
& {$ k, I6 P- k- ~" |/ Z' U* X( P9 l; k; w4 {
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
; b& G3 m8 V) B$ Q' O+ S+ q
% F# R" P' G% ~, b4 Z2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms. S+ r- c% ~. r" ]
; h+ u1 `0 G3 Y! P1 H
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.# W1 }" }- k% M* }! N6 j$ _3 A
# f, L; F: d( y" l1 Y3 kJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".% D/ z/ F1 j- B& E. B
9 U+ q! W( G" d+ E
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
# H7 X' M5 e/ ]! \ y Q- o2 W: u: c6 P% h }$ E# Y
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
