 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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' ~8 l9 f! O" N* UI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.9 ~4 A u1 ] W7 c H
4 J" _/ Y" {; H5 N8 t H% |, s- Y+ yI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 p5 H+ X, I* W! t" P# ?+ D
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:! B6 ^! I7 r. S
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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( R+ g& |0 S8 ^( r/ }7 Q o- ?And the second one was:! c0 d; W4 o8 v& r
: F' z% ]1 B0 \4 Y& Q! j# b, ["What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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$ g O0 L, ]9 J) WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed? i/ h# Q( a( `$ `& F
+ m! J- y+ X0 K$ j0 U! h/ d"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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; t! d% L" N B7 zI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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1 \; j9 {1 U! yI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. w! ~8 }) P6 \6 V( a. @, A. a
1 i3 }# ]* E. K/ \I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."- I0 V: \- W8 s: }
1 K1 ]1 Q+ @5 @# ?& W) k$ @So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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5 ?& f" h( L5 c0 Q* tNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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, k; A7 G4 @1 o" N! R2 G& tThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, l+ b @2 A! s4 t; k# R1 o
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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* R6 ?5 v! o7 v/ X$ i: m/ \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.5 Z* O* Z. V2 r7 {5 O
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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: m- V- P, \+ B0 i+ BRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
