 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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- x# j( h5 R0 L3 F( eI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.7 a" m9 H [) m
9 b6 j# Y+ t+ VI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.0 c4 h8 m0 G0 j, E+ o+ }
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:. O/ g, T! y( G/ g F8 j3 j5 I
/ n5 u) i7 b* T3 D/ p6 N"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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( h9 c! Z$ p+ ?( _I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' f' \9 J c! x2 d9 w [: P' j5 z
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And the second one was:
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! s( p) A6 J A" ^6 ^" Q"What's the 2nd Amendment?"- B& B3 ]- X! {9 j# v# h
, G# Q( A C7 j) I3 m- Q- PI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?") Z% t8 W- V; F* X; \
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?3 c2 V8 T: u( k* F' I5 v' h" K* I
H- n* Y* q. A6 _ I5 Y& [I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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0 X4 b* k1 s5 l7 |" \, mI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."' `! C- v1 `4 a
# d) n) v- ~& X5 n/ F! O: MSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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! Y! _0 Y c$ V' RNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.” E# F5 I' S( l; S
6 r7 [% I4 v& L# zThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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8 c3 H5 H6 j% iImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference: @9 K# ^1 C" W/ }2 T
0 V X' J' t" ]) ~) Y ?1 |& ?! B1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.( D3 H% G8 r* z& w& L7 }
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& |& M) d, H0 E" F# ]
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".0 T- J" g( |+ T% [; o, T6 y
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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