 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.5 \4 v9 k; E, u7 Z( x X
' E2 I5 r4 L2 r, w5 H2 j
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ a. `4 Y) S. w. \- ]9 B
" e0 \. Z. B6 A& ~/ {6 G8 XI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
2 T1 p2 Y2 d! U$ f0 _
& Q q5 D4 T8 }) RI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
9 P8 x( L' b- A: A& u
3 H! K6 L* C$ h7 E7 J2 _, p, B"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
0 s2 ~6 z9 b" o2 ?* M6 h+ t
9 ~ M' O) B% A' o7 \$ XI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ H1 O/ W* X" Q9 K* B% B
N: J; }/ S& tAnd the second one was:$ g/ e# M5 N! T" T3 |, u! e
, g0 J# K# b7 u7 p4 m
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
( J6 e2 ` k+ v& k% Q
1 j! n5 G* v# a6 a" |I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
8 Y3 h! e( n2 M( U0 S8 ]* N/ L' Z- U S+ y0 }
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
, C' N$ K+ W1 d% V1 G% t ] P: \
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?) J1 k: l4 W" @$ L: d# G0 \$ w
& `8 M: d6 H9 K* UI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!! \7 c) {0 o- k
6 e2 X) ?. D& M9 C/ Q# J$ b& y6 R
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
6 u; r/ }: d7 W7 r% n8 F. u) R* ~- a' K! }: W
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
# b0 f% F( Q, H2 e# t8 {3 N/ k. k, e8 ~
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”2 O8 ]" L4 f2 I# r5 {+ l3 v
4 B; }! F% Y8 n- t. vThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore. H; f. T# L( y' \
+ W( K8 r& S9 A. r! qThank you very much!
; L/ F" s$ J* ^- Y& Z7 G+ T4 ~8 Y5 B6 D3 \
==========================7 R5 C+ F/ R' r7 U' `- I
+ h0 y2 M2 r% R) Z+ Y' i: q8 W
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:% e' S. d4 d& _( I8 S
+ f; V( _4 x! A! ]3 Q4 `
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.; u: T" G" g* t3 l0 m
6 N5 Z8 U/ f8 u6 B) r0 c Y( b2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.4 S' _" D8 G! E; B, x: P$ R; Q0 j
' ? l. ]% P, r
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.. l( r7 y$ h3 h! |; }
0 N- t+ p1 }5 S9 eJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
- u2 v4 v* [" H7 Q$ o0 P4 R. C- j( k5 L/ Y' d" S$ A2 E; m
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
: {/ ^5 a9 Z# E4 z& {3 c/ I. x2 E* ]" \! F. z$ P5 ]1 h
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|