 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* P% Q. \1 K: p+ v. E0 Y
+ T7 z |' _1 e
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.2 C, `) E% p) d3 f3 U5 R2 @: U7 ?
8 I! g# M x1 o' t6 `+ M5 P
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
5 w- |7 l; A$ J! z; H& V& K
0 X' T/ J& F. Y' b. n# gI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
/ Q" t' g; m, z$ o; F1 p! G
- {; l% J& h, \5 |/ m: r"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"- A3 ?$ j7 @- K* Y
, `/ f# ~. P/ b& D' @7 U
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( y3 `% d+ i( n
! P+ Y( E# N2 y+ _# z# w
And the second one was:
0 x2 K9 `: S- E" A* o* [& d& K- c* Z2 y3 ?) j
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
$ k$ e0 N# c- A2 x
, Y" F" F( s- N1 S- S" sI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
/ Y7 v h- \! C0 T+ ]! J( b3 m: \0 U- F; d; x* z; L
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
' N7 L" m9 _- n6 n! V6 y* O( A5 @$ z. r& V9 \
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
/ n/ m3 x* s8 g% x# s2 e5 h$ i& f
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
8 j5 @# E, I5 R& |1 z% T& c* `+ _ K( w* O3 f
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."* L! J$ |6 z- K
0 `) x/ P# e* WSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 a0 G) o2 U+ B3 b( U$ v2 ~
% A) n9 S9 C K8 f2 K6 ^8 |
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”3 S4 R6 R7 B: R
T1 U% m8 S) @- V: XThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
; h4 Z9 K5 O# K" S) [3 ^, O) Y5 l2 G! ^/ v" X
Thank you very much!& D: G% u) _9 `5 X4 f' H
( `. X) n( g% a" V+ B \: }==========================. v, i. S8 ~' @! l
" V; K, t7 v Z. H
Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
+ F1 w9 c' H& ]3 C: G: }: T3 Q' l4 c( f8 u8 A1 x( {# ]0 b
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.6 J; j/ _1 B' Q7 U! A% {8 \
7 |- o1 p7 Z- K
2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
$ T8 l3 V( d0 b& Y2 Q+ f! a
. F/ _! S1 G; M: y- L1 a' n"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.& S2 b* X8 p" t: ^8 W8 Z2 T2 _) b
$ c6 S( a# B. v' p: |5 C* B" |: B
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
% B* m! J$ o+ R6 b
- \4 D; c$ n" z' h5 [- JRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.* S P* K, B! ~1 F! J
: q/ o5 m: R+ h, _- H) ?
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|