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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.
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/ Y) B- e6 k& A* jI love words. I thank you for hearing my words.* J! q. R7 e7 E& U
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.( k* l& w& @) ?. |
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
7 z7 M! |) |) g2 M8 aWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
; z, F$ m( X% zthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for4 w& Y0 e/ Y& P
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
! W7 l& F0 k1 L. C5 W" Owords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.% s) c% G( k3 R: N# c
There are some people that are not into all the words.
' E+ D6 o: D+ u7 b' r; v6 A5 bThere are some that would have you not use certain words.
5 D- @4 K$ z# Z/ a6 K0 o/ P* \* vThere are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
" R0 ?# G K# i% _9 Cof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
* q% f/ y; M8 r9 X& U$ O& D/ J399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
: n1 ^$ w$ I- oto be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
: i/ Q; _: g, P S4 `- eBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
! N% u& ~ a% r }"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
& @8 N( M# x& X4 \and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?: |) M" W" q8 \5 J( E7 B0 o# C
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits". W; \# i3 F% k% x* e: a
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
$ x1 i( G; B+ |3 d: ccurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
5 {& L8 b" E6 v; {" p! a"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"4 E+ Q2 p6 g! m" A
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
) ~6 U) e* c4 {- isounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
+ k5 E* h2 k! p# M1 p+ fman. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a( C- N4 _& @9 p" }
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist$ H) ?& s+ w' J" @) P
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,- M5 L2 m2 d# n2 O$ ]/ {
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
( s$ E1 u- l$ J$ eOne." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does3 H* T9 c# n- O& U7 T' S1 T8 t( c! G
not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
# d' h! @+ q7 E' F7 j3 ^3 \2 |# q6 j9 @but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
" N1 f0 A$ A( Y5 jcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
3 {6 _7 ^6 I9 hsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
K/ S* U; }* }' ~, p3 d' LMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
. I0 F4 Y* _4 F6 {there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.) R1 h0 N- V. E- ~
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend! o% b8 |5 V- S3 P
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
) [' [- c/ r; a1 @* ]you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
3 x/ w& ?* a, `: M7 [4 ^It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the. w* b3 P( K7 a2 {
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
( N8 i$ q; x+ g; O4 Q) e; v5 X3 t, ttogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
$ R3 M9 Q* x9 t- iPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were$ e& r# Q/ c! A; p
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I/ z7 a8 {" p8 z; I8 z& U
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such% ^0 R0 ^9 |) W( o1 O E
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."% C/ [2 L. P* x" d& @
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more& K ]" V7 {7 l2 R+ [
accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think" H- M9 V2 W( w$ `. T6 K
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very( W& G8 S- l* p1 g& J. |
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
3 N. t- P" T% A+ K: Fhurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
: l# n$ u0 }/ r, M' z7 f% X"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
" a% Y: X3 G6 p/ _: _/ Lthan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is/ v7 c+ d. @$ J$ q& Z
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
" z' g" O( I# aI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
! Y4 S5 r) J$ l! w2 S5 s, dthe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
- d9 p x, R* L: V4 K ]Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."7 r8 Y1 Y# b# g
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
' z( I! S+ C4 K( J5 E: {, Z$ BI hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
8 e# A: P. W& O) D7 q0 ?) P8 ~+ J) Ucircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
! [ ^4 c/ r1 e0 a& t& a. ^clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,3 @( ?( a, s0 C8 ~0 q0 T( K4 o
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out." O! l0 n9 c4 J$ a9 u
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
/ d0 y$ E, D1 lRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock' f# h) } c2 ~& s8 O; V. G4 w
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
5 X* n$ N7 ]7 \0 N& N/ x8 Othe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
' T: s+ l3 Y! q/ O- N& ~Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
: P! Q- p" T5 o# Z0 bsay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding: ^9 @* {# ?6 M4 E! J, f. r
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
& W) a$ f/ y4 j# @! @# T! r$ \- ygoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You. }; @% S1 ~: U" H# R6 X
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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