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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.7 Z: [ v" y0 M; u
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
% D& T; V4 x3 {They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
7 E, h4 X$ b1 @6 _9 MWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.) c8 k4 L6 Z4 V8 E3 A: N4 M( t- L
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
0 _: P9 \$ ~+ s! }: Athat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
$ Y2 @/ F* _4 X5 e0 w( g# _# H$ {4 ]words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.3 }9 F6 K! V2 K* D7 X' X0 `+ }
There are some people that are not into all the words.
" h: q4 z q% J3 m5 JThere are some that would have you not use certain words.
: t( \! k4 |) h4 @) C2 \There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
. H) D1 k( a$ M2 h. w$ x; lof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
" o7 _* J+ a n399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
3 L% c2 T8 v" cto be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,2 i' l1 L3 j2 u3 j0 u9 ?, R3 F% l
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?; y8 x( R! {: _1 @4 l6 H
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
1 q9 E5 r# T% ?, T" J* v; j. Uand words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
$ h0 o7 v3 B8 c"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"0 m* W+ t& a. }9 y1 r* [
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
h b& g* m+ c9 j1 kcurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
5 [' ]+ F* l) [1 K" X, _5 l% t"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
7 B: A9 k" y) g! l+ o% iWow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
4 }7 K5 D3 A7 d/ R6 Gsounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,% L, S, T" {% j- [) R8 v6 F
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
, w7 g! R& b8 J! b) Hsnack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist" E( e5 h% h; s6 S: G# x: G& t
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,0 R+ u5 f+ s+ B7 e
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
3 o8 ?$ v4 k& v1 JOne." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
8 N( S, ]6 O8 ^4 A! A/ r: Znot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,' @6 R5 b& Q" b6 [
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
* v1 u5 ]/ |" F4 S% z7 a( Ncompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
8 f, ?$ d( z9 wsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
8 [# G4 j1 E- R% o$ [MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
4 K3 T( U- g$ U, Bthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.% y* a8 d1 V3 d. k1 f# W, j0 Q% }
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
* G) V# e h, a5 gwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
/ M' }! G+ k0 K+ J syou like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
( b1 W' k$ ^) D3 y" @It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
5 ^+ N! T6 k2 ^other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
, p n# {5 ~& o; ltogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
# [' @+ g- C+ yPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
' l6 R1 p1 s1 A6 D0 v9 ecertain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I" x3 J: ^. m9 E' \4 d
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
, P7 O9 `) e4 O8 n9 astupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
* B+ X8 p: f" _3 A2 MAnd, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
& _8 K. `1 @- haccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
$ s+ t( ^7 ?6 E! }it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
; z0 {. G+ {) B* timprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to! y! Y- D; |' W e/ n& z# _/ t( n
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
; I0 k. \/ a- ]" o% P! l" J"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
: A* u* l8 ^, |6 p6 N6 {than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
( @0 w# h' s- Y3 C* g: x8 Ja great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
, q7 J# [# S9 `0 d: o$ q& pI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
8 o6 r D& _' |' z" V6 a" S3 ethe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,( {$ g$ t5 B% M. M1 E
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
5 Z1 m$ a1 H5 O) Y8 _ |So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
0 U1 b7 X2 _" T8 bI hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
+ p* |$ o% @" f( S# Kcircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
) w' j% \+ k5 [& T9 \5 @7 [$ Dclinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
3 F$ J/ @( F% ~3 [- g2 |# qand Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
; [* ~ M9 b; nBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
; _& ~4 g, p0 \Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock/ Z7 p! P- u+ N! r
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in z6 |! [; u0 u. l
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
" K- i; ?5 K7 T, Y7 {: E' iKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
: ~2 B3 W( b; y, {7 Gsay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding Q! m/ ~( X$ t+ k
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that7 d$ R/ i& O% g6 F) S) W2 o
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You1 B3 b @& O1 V* @' E% _+ @
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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