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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.6 \! Y# P' H( U& W3 k
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
3 I1 v9 A: j0 B4 CI want to tell you something about words that I think is important.# W6 h% x: q) B* n" x
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
& J" q, B$ F2 T. g. KWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
& v$ c- o3 y& q5 Lthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
/ c5 r% U( b" p+ b, C+ g! o8 G( ~that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same8 b5 b. p5 K+ L: _+ r% b( ]
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
8 K) _+ `( b$ [; I8 p! nThere are some people that are not into all the words./ V; t. b9 N n$ C6 k7 ?, i! I u
There are some that would have you not use certain words.9 S* H+ c: C# I* D( C
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7( Z) }' Z) t9 k2 E! n
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
5 G# m: I4 e! A399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
o% W6 b9 E8 O& p* `% h% Vto be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
, ~/ X) X1 b$ [9 l8 @Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?/ z* o0 q. I: ~2 B) ~0 Z% r' F
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,1 }5 M+ c2 e T; ]2 O0 r: I% n" }
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
/ Q9 @# c d$ u( B/ Y"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
! S+ t6 a7 {9 U( V* ^Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
: ^( k) F! D' R+ Fcurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
) t$ V- E3 Z( K2 e6 f"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
$ A& B7 b) a: K: xWow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly7 Y' f, a* j" X* k- ?
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
?/ d" O! C& lman. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
# U- j9 n3 a( C- c+ M( ^2 J$ ]snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist0 I( f& Z( k6 V" A0 s' W' F
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, b8 G a& P9 O4 P
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just" p5 @/ z& p. d' o2 O) y
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
! F7 C7 J! R* U' fnot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
/ O7 K5 h/ ?8 q0 Q0 q) a' [ hbut you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
7 r5 I2 O% v9 Z! `& c0 u$ p7 ]completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
8 u% r9 u. J0 S/ s% k$ _% Qsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and1 t4 J7 @/ I# o8 f" V, m
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
' a3 q9 i8 ?: ?& J6 w8 {there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.. x8 R h f- F( o' M
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
; T( ~+ S8 g! ~& y$ R; n- p" V6 e3 fwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at* K6 Q. P6 G% C
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
( j1 _0 g9 U% F2 A: b' J8 @It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the9 A0 J# q# j: s- U( P$ w
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go. o+ }: r- |0 ~8 H* K5 I; ]
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
( n& k/ I( Y3 q9 v) Q( Y- GPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
4 M( n. N$ B, y: Z3 ncertain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
0 x" e5 r7 G' B9 F7 d* Sdon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
) O% h! J# Q- t0 R4 ^stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now." N3 R. q1 W2 G+ H4 p
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
8 Q/ J T6 T/ Jaccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
* T( [- e- N3 s. U5 B/ u/ ~6 mit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very3 t; F5 t( a9 ?/ Z! e: P
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
( c: w& Q2 F5 S& y J, Shurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
1 ^9 _/ D5 ~% ~4 i+ T"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
! p2 D! R0 i; O* R' p; @than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
* z9 E+ ~9 ~* y. _7 {+ Oa great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
: d2 W7 s# g& u% h, ?, H3 `I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
: r: F! ?+ x( ^* R1 D" k8 i+ Ythe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
9 x5 `- T& b; g* l) ESherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow." X9 w; G. n' @( s! H
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.; W6 a6 s9 Y' G6 `2 u9 f5 G
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
) _- M+ l% A* n" u; Ncircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
. \0 q0 N4 W3 Qclinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
+ G0 H1 e: J& F' E$ J8 eand Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
4 N0 s& Q$ k% ^2 pBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.8 o2 c& a' U6 l* h& @* J- [
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock, n( Q9 N9 Y! l( s1 Y
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
) x0 S8 [' [, X3 |2 hthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
& C4 H: _+ n! T( J- L; N; lKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't7 G, X' ]7 L# R! c# m
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
" d0 @4 q3 \8 Z7 n2 d9 Bthem. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that+ K$ J0 C; P5 Q# P7 V
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
! @. ~. G: n. G( ^' i: x9 o* o. B5 jcan prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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