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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
" O% R9 x1 @# c1 e, F* j& @I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.5 P: j, V0 [! Y' V' n {" A; [& k: w
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
9 f2 Q3 x; G+ `$ BWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
, }2 O* e5 A# {5 m$ q3 Vthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
4 D9 C7 d% G1 [6 @3 kthat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
2 Q6 m1 ^# e( O7 F* g0 B! Hwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them. q. O9 N% y9 d0 {, @- n
There are some people that are not into all the words.4 e0 N. h" m8 l! c/ _* ]- E' L( s
There are some that would have you not use certain words.; N! W0 z, H0 k; R; r' E# W
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
% C3 b/ w. d- N! T+ ^* d& ]/ K7 T/ |of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
; A3 M2 v) k& V' T399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
/ Z# S# m; x2 a/ q' Yto be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
5 y; k- k t# _% `. }( Q! kBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember? ]2 W, [# k! A/ w- J. c0 B
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,! \0 l3 [ o# S4 T( F* L
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?8 h% ^$ d/ X7 n& q
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits". k& J# S0 o( @9 \( D4 u+ C
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,) f" s* \& {4 c- n3 z
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.. D* K) Q# S7 `
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits": x$ q3 Q4 ?8 W
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly* m6 b' X3 B% U$ r$ B7 G4 B) l
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,5 P9 @4 j' U3 r. u
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a& [" Z# }7 J% f2 G+ m/ W, W
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
; [7 M5 t V6 f1 d- nsnack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,& h; b% x2 r' e& c
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just u- q4 g7 J8 r* @
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does$ u6 h) L' K$ Y; d( E
not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
# L! v3 o f0 g* Y) W3 xbut you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not" S0 ]3 J! S, O# ]
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why4 T: A+ o2 G6 f) b; e, L( R
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
& e6 W- q/ m \5 g) o3 |, F% IMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
9 B5 E+ L+ ~" l1 j1 Cthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
- _+ v8 h r1 G i ZI mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
/ y: F6 T8 G$ H. D: qwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at# o% v' g9 B2 I
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer.") l- D( x" t" f- L* \! d
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
; W3 Q* c' v8 Bother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go0 L3 h. }; Q7 [ M! y& U
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that$ }& K/ e0 a/ K* @$ ~/ @) y
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were: f& \3 T) q6 Z2 T* T" [6 K# F: z- Z
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
% f& `. k& N, q# g, ~9 n7 Edon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such* ~! O% S( @8 `5 ^$ I
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."3 o8 ~. P4 E( b! H! o3 d9 k- |
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
; E& m$ I2 Y9 D8 [. S/ d6 U# I4 t, ]accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think5 f; M7 d, g6 y6 I7 p* ^" D
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very7 c, j( P% |, m% I
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to; X7 C) g* D- g& q( e2 s& H
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,! v+ b a4 k, q, p
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
% g8 C6 T d8 ~/ _3 U$ kthan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
0 |) n- _. f0 i2 m& Ua great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
: |9 k/ B* P4 W# [1 t: c0 WI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
& N# Q$ T/ ~) ^" dthe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
! Z4 N0 {/ [( c+ r9 tSherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."/ q2 W/ u/ d& e( s
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
7 @/ e/ q6 f ^I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
5 K, |# _+ n5 i2 Bcircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even$ y4 t, V+ O1 c' }" W2 u
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed," Y' j% \& p7 D: j5 h6 i
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.( f* b) }1 X7 o3 w% y5 `
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
8 x2 J7 X& |- K `7 N1 ?Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
' D9 H2 m* d9 ]4 L9 o# f U+ k4 kCROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
; {$ }& K1 b( w* t/ Ythe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
3 R) {5 L$ a- @* iKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't7 \3 O1 M! I0 W$ Y# ]. |
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
5 M$ _& o! l) @$ x) K- {% Vthem. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
1 P" ?4 k4 V( e# J+ k& a/ j. v6 P/ fgoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
d7 J5 u% p$ d* A7 Zcan prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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