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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.+ W7 N, s, H |9 q0 z7 N! r7 G
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
6 M( P/ ~4 @9 |7 wThey're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
4 r7 c# ?% N9 i6 m, M8 E6 RWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
2 I4 ? s# A6 a2 l+ R4 Qthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for C) r5 u' l( L* ]
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
2 N1 q! Y* b! Ewords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
8 p! V2 J9 s* l0 AThere are some people that are not into all the words.
, T3 k/ ~8 ]5 dThere are some that would have you not use certain words.
- V" p( a: v1 m" j' E+ e6 lThere are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 71 n' Z& q% z; G1 V2 w; \
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. |5 j" c8 T5 D) u' C. k+ q5 \
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
* S/ v, Q5 \5 }' ?& A+ |& Y- Qto be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
+ H" {8 I9 v+ P4 X2 ?% O+ S& \) rBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?3 U8 e2 X: |$ j2 e, |- ^
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
3 C* W3 A7 ~" y7 b( yand words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?$ v' L+ `1 Z: ]; A
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
4 N8 ~8 B7 M+ ~( J! Y' V; UThose are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,4 k6 s+ |* A8 p6 ?1 A- z! _
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.8 E \& y- x8 @& L
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"9 ?0 E( q" i& p
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
) Y( x* V$ k' Z, `sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
& w: h; C+ \- V5 w8 ^$ Vman. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
4 d2 B0 O% h7 ~: t( Y7 c0 [snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
9 ^) d5 H; a! f7 Esnack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
7 a* r! b+ F \" }Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just# j, P$ \( B' |+ v/ y, r
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
6 ^: d9 [: I \0 P4 Gnot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
% A& r7 h$ U& J5 d6 \but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
2 T/ E8 R) }6 q# C( z! k0 xcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why. j3 o3 S: [; ^9 K9 _2 x: r
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
! Z: L- ^+ Y6 Q. P& O3 C0 tMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on4 _; O2 M6 M6 Y+ p" a& e" L# f
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
# t1 i+ u9 e# I$ M% vI mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
n! X6 E9 h" N% _with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at5 e* K9 I5 X/ K K4 U
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
, u% F6 s& s. ^& GIt's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the# @- R. C2 c% P/ p
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
# s0 ]% B- i+ O) Ytogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
$ f2 U! `; ~( o2 |* PPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were: e$ D$ h# i3 {0 F" F
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I/ S) ?) M1 I3 X& C* k
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such6 c1 z( D5 F/ r
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
% m8 A! P' {( I! O6 gAnd, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
3 U( h* |7 x- V0 l0 Baccedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think" B: x- W7 o' b( Y: m; t! E
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very0 U( _% M) t4 T! _ i2 i: }
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to# K" H% D# L- j
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
+ @9 G# l" S8 u4 R. O"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love0 R' N- |, P6 e. O4 X. R, S0 S! ^
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
; e3 q& E4 K* \2 L; Ma great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
% ^( v, h, e6 `( X! G( A- a# AI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
$ K6 W# P7 Y$ G( o/ Cthe word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
7 `5 j3 Y- z% c- h6 mSherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."/ t* q& r) [9 O- k. A, G
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
! L2 `7 b: @! L; e3 uI hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
; I( z1 g) o! kcircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
5 S( }9 O3 M5 N+ Bclinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
0 [, q) T7 ]' ~6 ^/ @; ?2 l; m# g gand Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
9 z7 J: ~1 M2 ?$ ZBut there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
6 t' W% f+ X3 ^* a: ~! U% B- hRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock$ m. e& C! w6 p$ S+ m% ~
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
6 Z2 w: D" C+ F: z" Athe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
+ t5 C6 v6 b3 S9 LKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
, ]) u4 C; e3 I0 q, U0 psay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
7 [- g' ?# o. a; E+ qthem. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
, R; p5 O9 o. k1 Z8 ]goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
9 u6 m$ `9 |/ k* Ncan prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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