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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it." I9 k' B( Q- D# d3 z
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.4 O6 C4 m: x& h) Z+ N5 |3 ?9 W% e
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.% R- l8 g1 B" f* i" m3 X: u1 U6 _
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.: q9 h: a& T5 C9 j
Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.5 `' X! H/ R6 ^ m) c+ Z+ X
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
! v: W2 L1 _0 }$ u* C: Xthat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
8 A9 K/ z( I8 D4 Y* a/ r( gwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.0 s1 o( r- i# V5 y _3 B e4 r
There are some people that are not into all the words.
8 S0 g* B- C3 `- i( I {& {7 oThere are some that would have you not use certain words.: S2 W% E3 d. H! [- T1 S, B& ?! u" T
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
7 j2 m- U6 s: |( }of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.3 K M, [& ]' q" E% `
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous R+ ^( K9 ]" `6 o6 R: ]. F
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
" p& J" F: r- b- P1 ?0 o( l1 m3 Y+ PBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
( U+ c$ i) o9 s& f9 a* r- P"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
: j1 w1 ~* T* j+ \and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
! I0 r4 E9 v8 U: O# u) |6 k$ k; m, R4 K"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"; ^5 H" ]4 i, h4 d8 D# V
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,6 z9 b8 Y K& i2 \: \ h7 `/ a
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
: Q* j: Y3 p9 e( `"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
1 z1 `- K1 z6 [+ w) @! u5 R7 zWow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly+ ?3 I9 Q4 F. C9 D. l% r5 T
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
4 e+ V- W/ C( `! P' s6 V, iman. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a5 ?( s8 j# j' o' w! f( E+ V7 k
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist! H l) D; ]. |" h1 A# f
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
: W4 e' k9 Z1 P( t2 dPizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just N- b3 h- X' E* D# O
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does% P. a$ a+ a2 H! R) r& S y
not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
/ M8 F t4 C( K5 W; }4 v kbut you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not0 y h: @' T) H) O) `. ~6 L* s
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why3 X8 I1 Q, A5 s( p" A
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
3 ]! ]- |4 E& aMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on7 H, {! @! J2 A1 `6 f2 o+ a( K
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
: r3 Q% G4 y1 {+ F' r+ |I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
/ g% z. S0 U5 ~' p5 o5 s) S8 a- b Q$ rwith. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
* p; s4 |4 k0 a/ {2 H# q' U4 G3 Kyou like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."6 f: ?# Q& E: S7 \
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
. {2 C$ E- g! b6 [ kother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
& s. c3 M& j: x; y- z, l( Btogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that) i: g& W8 N0 s/ C8 H. \9 L
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
! i. r+ U8 _/ `$ ^certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
: R8 N9 i! l- U* i! n3 t+ Pdon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such' ]8 `9 H! Z, Y. d! P
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."% Q" J# z+ r. b0 \( n* k+ T( K2 e
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more4 `1 q1 ]( g2 J7 K- N' ~
accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
. r% ^7 i! d2 f+ n9 \$ Wit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
- u' e3 g- J9 e& `0 ~" U( r8 Vimprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
7 e4 f) C8 |' @8 yhurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
1 I# O1 {: t0 q E1 T6 l6 ?"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
& o, |+ }$ H, O$ \" Y" F- Gthan 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
6 E% J& o: D) Z+ ~2 Ka great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
% x, s9 o/ [5 l; y3 D& N) a, NI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for9 P) H. Y% t/ O' Q* V- t
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,1 L# b# }3 l% b* z* L2 ]: {" J
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."( u& @3 e! x- e W2 P
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
2 i5 X8 |. r/ {8 XI hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any1 L- u% L- N: T& i- r7 v
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even# q% j) }% m$ _/ d, o6 ^# [/ n
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
$ x. y0 f8 L. n) }. u" e# ]and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out." d, X& b/ d$ x: Z+ s/ L
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.! x& k7 V$ {/ h* D
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock+ a$ z& j5 t/ |( K! V% R5 L, n+ ]2 S
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
8 C5 m$ }4 E7 j6 Wthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for" L2 d/ Z5 B$ K3 u
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
0 d8 T M" O/ U1 X# ssay "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding/ _% S: `* q9 r3 c
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that6 l4 \+ z2 B, M8 B( n, [
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You4 y; f) Z/ q) |1 {6 [
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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