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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
% Z' P' d. h) ~2 [* {& JI want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
7 f* d! D I0 e1 n. |They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
4 F k) ~7 b$ A8 D- [4 s$ VWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
' _% _9 q& E! @. c" g! _4 I3 @+ Lthen we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
: C }* K. H/ ? ~4 w G. r" D, uthat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
2 I7 j" c1 @/ X' gwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.1 l b* _/ b& k# F& P
There are some people that are not into all the words.
/ ]9 p+ b" d1 w$ v9 J, |$ e0 KThere are some that would have you not use certain words.
. v5 S$ o% X5 B/ c% j d ZThere are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
, J7 x: Q$ p6 \* `2 D) h6 Qof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
8 t' }/ _' }, h399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous0 n ~( i, v ]- G3 d
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,) V6 q" r0 [8 S* n# ^+ @
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?# H( C% o/ t! F% @; L
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,5 h+ ?5 a' U" W1 e5 P0 C
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?) K) A; g, m& H( {( d) L
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"# h1 U; y o. u! H7 ?: y- A8 y
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
, O' p5 R3 g/ d: pcurve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.& v# i! k. c; |3 b- L2 b0 R0 n
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
R- p0 ~; R3 B+ P3 CWow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly( }3 ~; ?* G% I+ [% c4 s) j. d
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,7 e" Q! e2 T& D# I9 J0 f" ~3 K) L
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a% f6 B9 o# ?* W- ]6 [
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
% K+ V0 V/ e6 X, g7 _ Ysnack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
g3 |7 S& ] h4 MPizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
0 ^5 W+ Q& r4 E7 t" f O8 yOne." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
/ k3 d0 S' i# B) b9 O& A. f; p& p3 [not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,9 m% t r$ i s2 v' P8 W. m5 J
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
/ D, E" w- f \, B, h( G1 kcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
U0 S- |/ G0 q- B1 Fsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
5 P0 G/ o& f/ N) b9 h1 NMotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on. c3 f; m- K' J0 m% U' t7 D) i
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.: P) U2 D$ f/ i% G$ d x6 m
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend, h6 O) k8 v: K
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at, Y* s" J+ N9 l" B4 G
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."; f6 B0 N8 O% I/ @/ C% l9 m
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
9 D+ d; E8 ~1 @0 n3 oother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
- I& N% i5 i- W' u# ytogether of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that. l7 M) f" N+ o) i3 q- K2 D5 h: g
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were; u& M$ t" `8 z+ i' ~
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
- N& N3 e( R% rdon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such. }1 `$ Z3 s g( t3 b+ A
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."( ]+ w) ~" v, |& O! ~9 D: G
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
; v! e9 P1 \0 [" [accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
8 [' I2 }0 Q8 a3 ?) |it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very6 Z' T+ B: h+ R! M( ~9 P
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to a! e' r5 F, V
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,, Y) Z5 f: J: ^3 U8 Q
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love& n5 k) Q% r7 C0 Y/ s# M
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is+ f7 \! I0 i/ }9 n3 U
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
; _' j) t( f* s4 zI like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for q; l+ O( h1 g# K( ^4 ?2 J. Q/ {/ r
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
4 j1 g8 B+ \, d7 I* ZSherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."3 t D9 {" M& {2 H f
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word./ ~+ a Z' `! ?: L; M" G
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
/ ~2 g" h. I* T* l$ _) Jcircumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even; I) F% l5 I: R' ?* @
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
" [. [4 u- L* P+ k2 {' X" Xand Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.8 f$ J4 s N, w- b5 n
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
6 W6 v1 h* y3 z- A4 FRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock' C8 O+ d9 |. |7 G- F
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
1 f" S% x9 e5 s. {) n0 R- Pthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for, t; T, f4 h! l- }6 J, L9 }) ^
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't; t' j M+ `9 v m# M: z3 Y: X1 O1 x
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding" d6 \) V. q3 e
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that1 Z1 ~7 H# E& U9 w
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You4 n7 y$ N2 e9 g: y
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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