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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.$ I/ H* Q) w8 E3 C: O
' L$ |% q! W( v9 e; o+ NI love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
$ p0 k4 O c8 Y: t* p$ V: ?I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
7 F: t; d1 ?/ P; x) S! v$ B( FThey're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
/ E' t% B/ n- k$ T$ EWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
3 D, B6 `9 j1 r$ b. ~% m; F; |then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
$ E- |, c; E) V1 j& Uthat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
3 r9 T. B" g. p, X$ U1 ywords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
4 Q, `9 d5 |1 r) Z; WThere are some people that are not into all the words. j# V G2 Q* ?5 o' d# g
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
0 |% h+ K( n9 K- Q+ G/ w+ p* |There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
9 x( P+ q) h" ^; T4 I- nof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.4 z9 D5 \/ y7 [6 n
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous- l0 q% [6 a f& f( f) \
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
1 C( l( k6 I( L( CBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?# T$ _# w/ ~) `# [
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
- b* Q, C5 q, T. J4 |7 y! Iand words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
# I& B" m0 x7 r _/ i( I"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"( J9 x: _ i$ ?6 c
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
( G) Z3 C2 |+ Z, H* p/ @curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
8 ~7 U1 Y1 S0 y. z/ r2 B"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits" n/ F5 t* e1 }3 D. ]' S) H. I: ^0 y
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly) P* ]. e# f& t; i, }9 s( [- O5 \2 e
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,- f- Z1 x4 c+ }8 u3 Q. y' D, c
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
9 X# }3 b1 S4 B% }snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist5 s: r! z7 r- O. d2 V" }
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
' i1 G9 `- W" V* r s1 ?Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
# P. s0 u: l7 {* {0 |One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
; ^4 [. C N. d6 u6 \4 Rnot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,# O5 a$ \& {7 @" R* E! j. z
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
! _* ?1 l+ M! F$ w8 gcompletely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
1 ~2 b2 b1 d5 W, a G" Gsome of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and* x- m D7 B* E& h1 |
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on# m! F& \0 G( a$ M" l. d; H
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.0 p& W/ T: M! W( q6 ^* E9 D$ V
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend2 u |' p3 M0 A9 b I* ]. f0 `
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
( G& w% Y* g5 s4 G( kyou like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
! F* [" m1 t2 R' O0 Z" a$ w! vIt's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
4 ?5 V Y3 G6 q) Xother 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go: W7 a: l* H. o- X+ S7 Q& e& K, ?* `
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
f7 F4 B; r2 c/ X) c) ~: v7 mPiss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
0 w' h2 `" @7 c: b6 {, bcertain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
6 O: X6 ?0 O% K% x, d. j; Udon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such2 J. L5 K# K' s" P" _' T3 T( S
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now.". t! @4 u5 U8 l. x0 V! e# H! A' M
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
& J0 j5 ^2 T4 V" B9 }accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
u2 S4 z) [ z5 x) O' ]0 nit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very* I& c& |5 Q: ~5 ^: Q' B3 |2 e
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to; Z& B V1 ]" Z, w+ f( T
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
7 k$ K4 Y% c$ J+ ~"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love! e5 Y/ J, R& Z
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is- [( H% A8 z; f' R
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but' K9 P. w" [& Z7 X- L
I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
9 s7 A6 H- Y n( ^the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
+ f- `2 Q: _& l' m( ISherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."5 ~3 M+ `. J( R4 `
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.+ l0 f; H5 {! a
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any }8 E8 a: @: m, q# G' |
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
+ S% h2 X" W x+ e) _ j+ [/ |clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,4 E! ~, m! y$ l* \: T1 E3 {- m
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.; H: k. x8 s$ \4 @3 ?) ~
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
. e8 [4 V+ m! y6 w6 \7 m* h+ R: nRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock; c; g$ f3 f! G4 S# k9 a
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
+ w7 i1 T- M- A+ O# O% S/ G% M( O8 vthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
d7 i/ q% g5 {* `9 J, a4 L: nKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't: f: m# _1 ]0 N- N7 n& k0 d, ?4 N
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding! x! E7 w* ?; G/ C9 V) @! O/ o
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
5 D# O/ Z( o, n. J/ Qgoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
- \# Z4 E8 `* b/ K6 ]can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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