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The following is transcript of one of Carlin's program, not the above unfortunately, but it helps to read it.' @5 p( R4 G/ y8 |
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I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
& x" {- X$ L; ]4 T: d8 \# \I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
, R; u# a( h* P/ b& cThey're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
6 Z9 K) t& m6 {7 y. YWords are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.8 ^% Q, n' s$ `( I
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
8 E0 T: a Y" T+ w& m+ ithat thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
( t+ W+ K5 m8 g3 u8 w0 F" rwords that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.2 k2 a( ?# k V( G; D6 M
There are some people that are not into all the words.
3 V: g( W4 B) A0 h; C3 n. q' d7 z0 OThere are some that would have you not use certain words.5 f C0 s3 Q. x6 Z' R3 U
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
. E' h4 m3 c) ?7 Wof them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.8 X z3 f+ j9 }. F* W
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous N! j1 c2 E* w. V4 _# C5 ^; H9 o
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
" ]2 I O$ w, F/ S6 W; B% {: DBad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?/ @% s) n3 ~, K; f
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
$ s3 K, c# z5 c+ a2 ~2 X/ zand words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?; y8 f" P2 r& u. G6 C' {. x. q9 K
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"8 I3 I+ Z9 j( Z R4 e
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,5 ]9 x7 i" n; M8 g) B* F
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
" r/ B' S6 T7 i! s5 c$ K"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
2 w0 S/ q3 A/ i8 _" R! I# ^$ G5 dWow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly& i" E7 L. L7 U9 [+ c5 l6 X! x
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,5 X1 c$ O+ w& V/ P" l0 J5 V
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
# o; g+ S+ @- i \9 v, D4 qsnack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist) [: j; y/ F& I( n% S! k; O
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
; r4 B" N+ y- L" W8 sPizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just; [- A+ c' A/ o L' @9 z
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
* c' Q3 j+ W# xnot belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,1 v; o5 E. X7 `6 v" ~ O- x
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not5 ]4 ~% O; j1 V7 S
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why0 h! S" i) M; ~2 r
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and+ \: w" W1 s+ l/ j2 k
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
2 W3 C# } p4 {/ J% g( j) L3 s" ^5 i4 Mthere. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
8 u T$ {) O# K) {, S/ q9 n( ?I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend* X1 [( j$ _/ }* e
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at% b0 M* V5 |: o+ T2 M. n
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."9 m. |: b' x. D
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the7 a& { m7 v* G; u
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go$ G( J0 ?$ l* Z) P
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that# ~- I; a4 ]3 k( a: ^* L0 s: Y
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were# y( R, h3 S8 o- f8 Q1 {; E
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
6 C* D5 j- G2 F% ndon't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such- P+ I5 o/ |' {9 Y. Y
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
% l6 c, p q8 k! N/ ^/ B% WAnd, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more1 Q9 o a3 V9 K* _- ~
accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
8 f% i; E6 z" Qit takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very. `: L9 h* `- x0 k
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
9 h) h9 F: ` O9 Whurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,, ?# c$ T- E- e2 r2 X/ @, S( k: V* M
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love# C1 y/ e2 o' `# o# ~4 E8 l' ~
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
G4 H: t7 Q0 K, f6 ]' w ]a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but) k; W/ o% {! ]6 D
I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for" W) S6 ~ {- A
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,5 Q5 ~# k* K! S4 {! s/ a, F3 Q2 {7 a
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."6 g! L X9 A% y6 ~2 h1 u4 S/ v |
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
8 a% D( q3 S; f k* Z! M6 h; jI hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any% L) O; q$ b9 _! y
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even7 T& s$ t& ^9 @! k; N0 j- p& A% p
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,3 L' C$ u. c M9 F
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.3 n+ H+ n+ ^1 f, K5 [, s2 ~
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
1 H9 ^. B& S+ j, TRemember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock( ^+ l' k! X& |
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
u2 f* l O% i4 p3 ?6 Bthe bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
" K" ?3 R9 \: d# Y# ZKirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't, [# b# m" O7 \/ q
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding5 S6 a( g# l/ A1 n: d% u4 f, w1 E2 Y
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
. ~* w9 v: q3 igoes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You1 f7 @# z& u5 A& _/ G
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no. |
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