ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

9 G9 }+ ?  m& g# v- w& z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
3 n; T8 j7 ]0 `1 [hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
& i( M3 n3 `$ F. R' Wmorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
! d3 I% K" `) Z; f. p' z: e8 qyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
9 @6 K: A' l, p& }3 tlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 `, s4 l5 n4 i! H' o! \, cmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! k) g" \4 Z6 A8 v; b* w7 Vgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
+ L' V9 Z# O6 }- T9 j* m% s1 tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

  S2 d& O7 P& q* e; }" U" o5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 _( e7 ~0 c! B5 Jcussed out, and possibly shot.
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1 w" K  p) r* B% I. h7 g6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

  F% Y7 P' y2 U7 H7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.

* B" o% \5 t0 p. c4 [* J5 O! P3 b8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
" a$ f( u% o, `% W) C9 M( _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" C! H6 h' {0 n1 Y$ Mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
' H: d1 r' e8 U* Y' L1 Gmore construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
& G) a5 j; C# p& bdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- G4 a4 c' y* d0 C( [' p& p10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
7 f8 Q7 w7 n0 W2 s- V) j( H1 eroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
" [4 j1 B% Z9 E" F% D" iRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
- b+ J3 c5 _4 O6 i6 t* l  F0 s66 Street are also the same road; got it?
* R# _% Z% r, C* Q  X; }
  C+ w9 i  J+ t  N11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
) Y2 G/ Q9 B- ?# S6 Z! Vshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
  v# T- I" n$ l* {lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! S: @) B- N  F1 p+ |# X1 p6 ablankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

  @# f) y, R: Z, x% w3 i后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
# h# v6 m$ g  I$ _
it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。