ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

6 }: _6 ]" m  C1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

$ [$ {: Q! J0 Y7 e4 B3 n! {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
/ z4 B. `( a5 ?* ]3 ^  {' R+ khour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
/ W, L6 k& l$ w0 b$ ^morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
6 r+ N( Z4 Y7 |you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& T) W. f) R. `, s) q; Q1 igo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
, c, ^% l( H. q: j4 o( z4 {9 ophone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

* V; e- C4 Q( r0 I5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
7 e$ n0 Q4 J  z( i
9 P4 s0 Y6 i5 l& O2 J4 [6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
, Q! E  x/ K& H, @( }
7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, o) `) H& ^& }) s: jthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
, z+ O/ }* A* e: `* p5 Z: x& X3 {you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
2 C9 J1 l  t9 }8 T8 P+ Ovehicle through the intersection.
; P3 M7 e0 @8 Z4 W; ?2 s2 i
9 J* {9 Q7 {3 ^8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- L6 ]. }7 V8 T) I) l% g7 k) L8 `  ?; T6 lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
& [8 M7 A0 N( Q0 L& |$ ]7 j3 h3 r- adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" I! u6 ~1 \9 `! _4 h4 J8 t) ysquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 _" h% ^7 m! a# [& p$ n% c10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
' h9 P( p+ }! t, c
3 K4 B* b: w/ u8 X! n! [8 _2 V11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# d( n8 E; a2 ?, q* Mshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'
# v' @" H& z- X6 a4 a% w  ^" ~) G1 D
- i) O4 o6 U' ?4 J4 z12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
" Q+ _& J0 F6 u) n8 l
  a; y: N# z" @4 h13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
% c( c  _, W7 V; ~9 g4 lblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

+ k% f. O5 K9 r1 I# K后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
) W* `* j& U$ W# S7 ^5 P3 X# z
2 b- ]* b% a6 z8 bit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。