ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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/ G  n8 W+ W; D: m$ G5 V2 p6 h* C1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
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/ W: E* y: f7 a7 j: A1 n' v; w0 l  _3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
- Q! n4 t' L1 q* yyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
% g& b# k6 ?- e  ~# ?/ R1 X4 Z7 ^landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 a+ _1 k8 Y  v) P# k( P$ t' lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 u! d8 `  g- C. M! D1 Y, K7 q6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
0 J0 F; ]4 j' T1 v' eget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
. p  x4 c: |' k6 Ghas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
- S9 ~+ x+ s8 M% u/ m1 d5 \9 zyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
( z5 A- I- Z1 A1 E1 lvehicle through the intersection.
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& b3 k! H5 A0 A! n$ p8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( m7 _  |9 y9 ?2 R* w/ Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

1 u% o0 I+ j9 ?. o0 Y) C( b$ \" r8 i9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
* a7 ~% D9 J# p! b9 kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

1 y& Y; @0 a* }3 M10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
% ^( ~* S2 J; r# B, J, |road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
. e, k! g, I& {Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' Z" X, h; X/ H- x1 l% k+ Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ p7 Z, v0 x% Lblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

. w7 U8 d* ?: R( y0 D后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。