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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON: l4 \' R' n* x& [
- r5 I+ i' \! O0 [% ^: u- [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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$ \" _+ \4 ^9 R1 I# J! C) X2 A2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
! g% i0 I s c" x Z- r, {hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday5 t9 V9 X* D* p9 P5 Y" w- e R
morning.
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9 z4 b. m1 v& m; s. c. g3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,. U0 V/ h3 j; s! x% B
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a: s1 e, u9 |* ^( V
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.0 ]3 ~% I& j8 L& }7 U
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# I' H9 H- _7 U1 b6 w
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 @' Q7 e b4 @# g0 Q7 jmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 N; ? C' `: \# L& Ugo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell, W' X9 ^! ^$ Z0 S; x
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,* j0 ^4 u0 }1 I* j
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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( b) j2 X [8 b6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
( f2 K( h, I: {. cget you shot.
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, A* C0 L9 i- H+ P$ i. G7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that4 r4 p4 U5 t1 x1 z& }5 e
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
) R- Q5 d# P8 kthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot6 ?6 p% i( w' \! u& Z! w3 h
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
) ~2 j# o( n& X9 T4 }vehicle through the intersection.0 v8 B2 [1 P e) Z
9 C' H2 j6 c' J. u2 |% j* R: ^8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour% k* m2 q0 `) J9 }; v9 `. R
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next5 S- U8 U: ~. {% D2 i6 t' W# a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and4 X; o, O! h$ O s% y( s5 N; A
more construction starts everyday., r- e/ r; ?0 y$ h4 p! I, r/ ]
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
2 F* f5 A" G4 V, Ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,3 y8 O; Q$ M' D- Z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# F3 ]& A; @+ ]% ]/ @" `
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same$ e- y' q1 X) B' i8 F0 i; n
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
' F3 K5 x: }! ]1 ^Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
2 _3 ]/ F$ d- H4 D7 P k6 x# e66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' C: v$ O& Z+ \2 Q& O) Hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally+ X2 I- @+ E; [4 B: X$ S
Activated.'
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' ^& i) l3 I! }5 P9 e0 u! I; X12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
' X/ x; I0 w; J% ]you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'2 `8 f6 C8 d( k0 h+ x% u) m
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot. @4 Y# M4 m7 E) X3 U) c' @
3 k% Y7 k9 y0 d6 |$ e13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 v; o# M; y- o3 olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
]/ D8 Y& \$ B- I, _# b( h% Z* Jblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
