ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
1 |6 X5 h# B% a2 p" H
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
& X/ n: u/ A% U8 L& k
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
# \% O. [* d( v& }4 Dmorning.

! c1 H9 j- j' G8 ?3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- U9 P2 @7 }( o3 A+ l: Zlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
! c% L) _) }% z
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
& e7 o. C8 X* |7 H' Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 v6 H5 `; x  H9 Q2 emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 d/ L. V5 |. u$ n6 ]$ a% f$ [go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
6 A; h# c4 d" L3 R+ {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
- m* {5 W+ N; ?: @: e. n- O  ^
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, I9 f. x; b" W: m0 Jcussed out, and possibly shot.
  I* W: H6 F+ S2 R! z0 A# r
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7 N$ m: ~0 N  j7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
  n0 u" a4 K: l9 pyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
+ O, L( b8 I. W4 q5 Yvehicle through the intersection.

8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
! S1 M" p5 @: |3 n# W& m9 @) abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
  m; j- N5 V0 w8 K6 s2 }0 B9 mmore construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* G# I2 Y! G' u+ T( G. jsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
: C6 A: y. N; [# r! O! Droad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
7 _- R0 D" ]: P2 xRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
! ^* {. Y# d. ~5 J* y, K; I
11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'

: u) t0 V" a% D8 x1 |2 z12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
! \6 N/ r4 N6 e' |0 l$ o! lyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
- ^+ s% ]4 X0 w+ J
13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 b1 `1 M( ]3 W& |blankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

9 H4 J. [8 }; x后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
+ X! f/ o( F6 c" I% g( {4 z
' a' H# y# i% M% Tit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。