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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:- x6 Z% T. p4 T
$ H* P8 u. N, B. o ]$ R8 S1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'. E! C: Z2 w( \6 ]7 J" o
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush Q% L! R* I; m' f( m
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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$ p/ k: q; _3 o( A9 ]3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
/ a: S; Q" S* Jyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a1 {1 a: j+ B' c: I0 p q1 U8 b
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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$ x3 d0 P4 h& [6 _4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' h9 C8 m7 J. u5 f: _+ D" N: Xown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& u' ?+ t7 l( r8 h% T( umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires, f w h' X5 c5 \; _. O
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
/ a% U4 n7 |+ G: f* s. t! L* aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 j! h; z1 r n# O# N
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 c6 u9 l* K( ]* Z
cussed out, and possibly shot.. y5 T- Q& A- X, ]( z
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
% _) a* ?. K7 f9 hget you shot.
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& E5 _: d/ s L8 E7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that" Z' L2 F2 }2 N+ E% o# c
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, j7 m' M6 f7 T/ Qthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot# p7 b( ~7 f- c$ V2 ~; C
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
- M4 N' j8 A. y6 t( A5 rvehicle through the intersection.: C/ w0 m# B. m! U% _0 ?6 L" z. Z
8 m/ U' ?# d" D8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour( _% k- F$ x! y3 T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ E6 G5 a7 u( f+ fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: N7 {, e% v# U6 v8 t
more construction starts everyday.
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) @" Z9 i c. \8 ^0 n0 a$ j9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,3 p* f. Q4 M. G# t1 m
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ k& h4 \& G; t- H, o+ \
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.' {& d/ m# z/ Y9 X1 d/ K$ Q+ r& `
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
+ C' _6 j& @ b5 \+ {5 z4 ^road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
( t7 Q, ]. s/ g- w: n3 @Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
: r# d. m/ {$ V7 f* c8 C- h4 R66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 [+ y6 e. Y8 w1 Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
8 @2 C( N. v/ k) I% a& W3 R2 f- sActivated.'
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2 B+ | ^" d% {, i% |6 l! V# i3 X12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
% V" e5 M% g& z9 u& Gyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
% N- i$ }! l# q$ G* Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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* Y, L- n& I+ f; E: G. | s13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ d! b3 a+ \, b4 Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and* ~/ J5 z0 Z. h, P% K! U
blankets in the vehicle. |
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