ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
6 N+ w$ \$ X5 o; }% b# fhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

. ]2 k/ I9 ]& A6 m3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
" l: L9 O, \5 `5 d9 ~: t) H4 E( Rlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) j: m: ~, l# R. Wmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
4 o$ ~0 k' n0 V) R& K# }phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
1 @8 G, G  T2 U8 y- D1 k
6 n* Y  A6 Y0 A+ P4 O5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
1 p8 z' z9 p( c5 y( H: _9 L9 i  Q9 h7 a
5 Z  c& L# _7 Y  y- a7 w6 F6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
# [0 ~; w  a8 J- B9 A8 Uget you shot.
. i/ L( e$ I3 s3 t1 V; w
% C# u/ l. ?6 _- w, @: R7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
/ ]5 B0 L2 I* y* u. J
* o7 I  P* R2 A" x9 S" J8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
, B7 w! x( H9 g  hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 ]6 m: ^& X  _; T& t* T+ ^' Oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
3 m- r* `% M% @$ l: K
9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
5 }) y# i# u2 S0 G% odeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
7 C  D+ C  D, C8 ?2 _squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

  O: C( v. A" S7 [( T8 N10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
5 p( l) `9 ]" V! o( ~66 Street are also the same road; got it?

% C, X# ~( P' }' H4 I' w6 j1 p* O1 K11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' \7 R; O+ N* Vshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'

12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
- V3 I- O  M) f' h# Fyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
- @/ Z% A" g8 s  Kaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

1 b  l2 B6 C% L9 t+ Z5 C! F: j: M13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( h+ |7 i2 z& x5 I0 Olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
, y* y  ?' Y3 D. q3 t' E* w$ j1 oblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
8 |- B( \. n. V% X
后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
- ^0 }' i" b0 A2 y
it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。