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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.: ^% U8 R5 O6 U4 f) @9 _1 q& K8 w# o
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush. }) @3 F. g/ i% j1 I s5 [
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday1 f0 ?* J8 o$ y
morning.
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O' c$ _, i6 g( H9 d3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
1 n1 _- m" s! Jyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
; s% n ]4 J1 i: j: flanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.9 `9 \9 M. x/ c5 U4 Q
+ X+ w3 B2 D9 L) q4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
d: S: c+ O1 Y' aown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest9 U: I- S3 \+ L0 H* t
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* Y6 Q$ ?* V: k( A# ?go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
9 }9 g+ R# m# G3 ~3 S5 hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.! n1 Q4 Q2 c r" P$ K B
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; g% N6 |+ V5 m3 w [. V! P/ Icussed out, and possibly shot.
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8 w3 z7 H( H' |& }6 A5 y- q6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can' n4 F( b9 a" Y4 e! f
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
! q8 W, I3 e# B5 Z* [has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at9 S+ m/ W; w0 ]. h( R8 c- I, e
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
9 A& ~. g& Y+ ryou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
1 g3 q) Z; |9 F% _& Xvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
; M3 J" `( Z: s0 }# h( Xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 R$ e; {# i5 I, Kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) a7 D: m& c; C y( a8 vmore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
D( l' z. o& J5 t- adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,/ l+ y; ?( S% H, ?" @2 V
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 a. S5 V2 z" H7 w' e! h7 O
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same" y5 F- b# B, g1 @
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
* B2 t& Q& R! V6 e, N! LRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and5 F: u' C; U; |2 T' }3 r; ]! o
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# L; S3 B& \1 E: E& Rshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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# E* O# {9 z1 Z/ ^( d12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
" ^' v- j$ Z1 a& ayou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'2 b+ j& E1 F4 e. K2 o- w% M
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% s2 ]0 Z/ K0 }3 [! Glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and1 R& l i" ]! j$ M% Y
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
