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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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. N) t" p! b; _) \$ b, F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush8 Y; C" o- j5 t! H' D$ p, z5 G, M
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
* r9 d5 N7 E0 I+ qmorning.3 t/ _; G; g3 ~& X3 ]7 \' c
& e n2 p$ V! l3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,3 C I* g& L3 i& \
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- A8 b& q' ^9 H$ Zlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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* z+ _4 V, A3 {9 B6 [6 n4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! {. u8 i+ x, r3 j' C2 o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest! q8 Z0 G- |% @8 `
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ C3 ~* r9 r, R7 u6 Ngo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
5 i) H! O; f% L5 s dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ O% U$ M) v/ P, a! n! ^9 c
( i; f0 k0 b; Z* e g5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,; z: t9 }/ h" t* U
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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: M* c; |* z5 G3 |1 ?. Y3 e$ j6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can; X- D+ V* p" [; h7 Z$ S
get you shot.. }/ w- ~, P, Y* U+ d: ]; A
# g5 h' a6 {1 O/ E$ Y y7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that# L( v3 S' E8 _! Z1 S9 W# j
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at& D7 r' \' K- k" j: v
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot4 O9 P# D& i7 D* D! @3 C$ h
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
- X! f7 q7 Y" c+ C4 fvehicle through the intersection.: i" A2 o. F3 w( J
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
7 {6 P$ ~9 t, ?2 v7 `$ u& K0 I! Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 O8 }! ^; x$ P4 l: T6 Rday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 L# U! Z5 i# `7 D
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
0 Q( N. y }. L5 Q" ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 L& d& M$ v3 p2 R$ k+ y( O) e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.% Z$ J f( {* D& K8 F8 O
+ Z) A4 e! h& w- X4 D% Y2 f' o
10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
0 X/ V' d% I X, n% R8 B" e# Iroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
8 `) G* _) X' p7 bRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and( R! p% f( Q. e* o! M- ?" } E
66 Street are also the same road; got it?7 h* s' c) x. b- N
* }6 O3 s+ ~# A2 \7 }9 ]11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
( ]0 C$ b: n! {8 }2 Z& p# G Q: fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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! H" D) @( } k12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,- ^" v( O) a- H' C# g, J. C4 p1 Y9 ~
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'* _! G) Y9 k' t
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ H* \) J. \& d) G9 F13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# ?4 n K+ M- G7 _/ Dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 Y! P. e J5 r1 ~' f6 ]6 [3 Gblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
