ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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: s# V1 T& R3 X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
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! |3 Q9 p( P8 Q: ]! O, V+ M: o3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
1 t9 ^! {, E0 U1 R  M+ v& |you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
4 q1 ?4 N, H/ Y3 ]muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! w$ i. w" U7 Q* \! Z" V# n( _go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ V7 D) D6 y' Y" k' e5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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# d9 d( W+ z& w8 V  U( s3 ~3 X6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
1 Y+ e+ o! l# R  h+ U% J. Cget you shot.
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( b; E' \5 f- a1 H7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
) [0 x, t5 y1 h9 @" I/ k6 Myou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
, U: |( J5 [+ d" U+ k' E& D* [vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
. i: L; D; v8 `6 ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( |1 J4 D8 E# Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 Y  {9 G) p  f7 z! `+ }! f! X& i3 n/ Imore construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
9 K5 W5 \! U1 M8 C( Ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ F& {4 \2 ~/ w5 o# v5 rsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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$ n4 w! `3 V& B+ b; u7 `10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ a6 R; {4 {+ }, ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'
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" j: O0 F) c! j+ [/ S; ]+ V' w7 T12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% {8 X. S+ D* e5 f  _4 _lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ \# D% k4 `7 d2 p; D: g+ Sblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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; y6 O; Q. Z5 Y% J, b2 R后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

2 g$ i: B% }% o' x9 \# s  G+ bit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。