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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:- o1 W5 [4 O4 a
9 A* j6 V( G9 l: I1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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' b8 c" K4 U6 ^" x# |/ D2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
' _9 |" P$ a: p( k! `hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
4 M: `' {9 M" {) kmorning.
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) T) @9 Y2 {. c- _% {0 j3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,8 J9 F2 f3 Z( I; }
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
7 K9 F; Z4 Y( k7 [landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- T# H3 |7 m/ N0 z4 Z$ |
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 I# Z% C* d% [muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) G6 u% T: T/ T
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
+ j7 @2 R' k3 ^, I7 nphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., p; l) l6 e9 o
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 q( n" j1 d1 J& I! O, Ecussed out, and possibly shot.; Q, B9 f" U; Y" v% c9 v% J
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can: K8 N; |6 T6 \6 P
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that" N$ ]# n, l5 r* Q% O" b9 o
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at2 m4 R% e( I- E7 P) _ d) x
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot! @3 t& z7 X9 n$ i
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first$ b+ O3 w( n3 U: t. ]0 C# N
vehicle through the intersection.+ c5 |2 \, @& Y
9 }; d) j1 M, Y% C1 R8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour3 c5 T" V3 q" b. R3 A) B! n
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- G/ ]$ W* g+ n+ n$ l' P& T7 {% hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# x" ?. d2 q6 wmore construction starts everyday.' X+ m, n0 M, w3 ^* C
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,8 _! M" W& F+ I% V5 \& S: g: {
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 ]; o; N% e' O: k" f' fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same' f m9 `( Y/ g9 W$ M
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
. D+ O8 S9 x9 bRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and1 n- d0 T0 s- y [( Z
66 Street are also the same road; got it?0 G$ }# w& B' e7 y3 ]+ `
z$ _7 |, {! F* a) I7 w11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ W! X" N( |: F4 B, e; E$ ~
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
- I9 h( O+ F& m+ L% lActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
" }7 V0 G+ B, c7 m/ Hyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'3 F# T: T% y' k
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ ?( G, \) E6 L3 n4 t8 Q% q7 v
Q! p5 `, I- R13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
F+ g4 A# n% c- dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 |! n4 z5 t T: h( D* ?1 s* X
blankets in the vehicle. |
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