ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
/ o# x" T: K0 U
8 ?2 r- m; J6 u9 Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

! u/ r, Z) S1 ]! v2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
4 l4 `0 ?9 f; W; Vhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
# m( E  M' U8 Q/ D: u& {' Z3 Kmorning.
$ k1 X( w9 ~/ g/ f/ i% V
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
! B+ ]2 b  }, `you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( e. I( j1 o6 _; \/ z( `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

! Y/ G3 [" ~7 P" Z+ p5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

. I+ f% L* o- w! A) k( {6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
/ l% N  M& k4 m- ^6 _, t# n
  D8 C) {9 `5 }' ]$ K0 P7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
1 k; _- N( x& f6 F4 `! ^has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
9 [5 a2 Y# C% a" E+ _; Kthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
3 K) t4 N6 g1 y) e* X
8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
' w7 @8 j$ d' g+ g+ ]/ D1 Vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% e5 x  s6 \8 [: P0 e  Mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
5 p* Y# U; z$ z) q# s8 Amore construction starts everyday.
! H& @# _& U' J* g* u6 p3 o
4 T# k: I- o3 O; \9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
5 m1 G; n6 ?  H0 ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
9 N9 ~; n: u  l2 o7 O9 t- O" ?66 Street are also the same road; got it?

, `4 P5 L) L. q" Z11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
+ D- n. s6 P2 V% b! K4 Q, P# ashoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'
+ Z/ _) ~; ~& J9 h: ]/ m$ i
12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
+ E- x" w/ y: P1 U1 ^you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
- g0 n# Q! m# V" N) uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
% |4 k- Z! e5 p% G" Z
13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- w2 v) _2 X3 H- M% b' d: e! @5 p5 N* \blankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。