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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:# V( E j1 ^6 @5 t* @* V
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
( s" K4 Z" g( \$ E c7 Phour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
; f% N' m J7 f0 g; G9 Dmorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,/ Z( L2 m, e" f# x% Q
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
6 C% n1 F4 [# e4 Glanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.) h1 x0 r/ q, W/ q* {- z
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
! d7 F& O* P( pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% ^% Q6 |( l; b8 rmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% _6 C Y1 X* k; P9 N8 ?; f/ r6 f
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell z* z6 v, j! @. s
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. z5 Q. ^3 g- }% S" [% J3 \( S
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,9 s7 r. \( Z3 d% c3 _
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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/ I6 F# r1 F/ N0 b6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can0 S$ M" d0 ]' f* J
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that$ Z! @1 a+ A* H" U. n
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
+ v# v3 m" h( v, g/ Gthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
+ O2 u' U' r; K! Wyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first: D1 q9 O$ V& F2 E+ i0 g; n1 W
vehicle through the intersection.
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$ `4 J8 A$ W# l: P( y+ E8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
0 A/ w3 h' j! ~+ B& ybarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 p4 D3 k( G) U/ q E. X
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ [7 w/ |9 N7 T5 Y& t1 R& \more construction starts everyday.; P1 [( W- }. \0 _
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,5 I( d3 X, C) J% n2 l% T
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 [8 m* V0 E0 b: I. U: fsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 S6 N5 r) q% d1 d8 }$ z$ T7 k/ n
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
O/ K6 ~3 {" Sroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
) ?/ q3 K, ]& l* \Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and1 t9 ]8 v' N) T4 m3 T# u, T
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- \: x5 u6 D0 Dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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$ F1 ]+ T- _+ H* v: l' U/ u& v- Z" K6 F12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
) Y L) d2 X" s* T: s" ayou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
+ L$ X9 Z+ n4 Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 c1 k( M1 ], A' P8 j4 U6 S
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' j! v/ ^' n0 ?' wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 E* V2 o/ I- M1 l9 U# iblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
