 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:0 O3 M0 o2 I5 G4 j# q) j; V# y
+ R+ }$ D6 X" p( Z. t4 w$ p1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.- g0 D5 I9 f0 J) d
! s; W7 }. m" Q: ]6 O2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush0 {5 Z0 a, y8 F& o( @9 g
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
. ~7 e+ M& P: j8 U6 Nmorning.! B# q5 @: Y9 d* k
3 R' }# I q7 W" n& u* L3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
- Y+ C" k: f; vyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- D4 q. a: o& f$ Y& p. z9 slanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.; b+ F& o, e( i) P0 S5 ^
( Z0 Z- y5 ?( y. i, p4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its4 N v: G1 v# G4 {+ n0 D
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ T: k S& ]9 ?; e' F
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires1 r8 T( w: R0 b5 n2 q/ I
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell! X' [; ~& X8 J: `# ?. u
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
% f+ T- F [/ m3 i
' Z3 E6 n5 u7 h+ J5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 m7 d0 x' O$ Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.. k7 G# N7 c: k9 z! J4 a, R4 }
" y* s* m+ i; J4 P. |3 s; N
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
) l6 W0 |0 E( f3 H" ]3 S1 Aget you shot.
4 L% [, n) v9 Y% P2 e Q6 A0 @6 s2 Q
7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
' P" R6 A! H" M- o9 Ohas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
# b' E- M! e7 H) Mthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot$ z, [) @' V3 g2 N0 L/ n8 \6 j
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first2 U$ a- g8 G$ O6 G
vehicle through the intersection.
6 I& e. o9 Y8 E) @' w4 n$ c' \/ k% L) u+ e- d; v
8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
2 x; d2 r# z4 m& Hbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
0 |5 c: K/ y0 _8 |6 }# ~day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and L- b, p0 y7 Y' z' ~2 p# P% `
more construction starts everyday." O7 P+ M* e7 y. N! G
; o+ E, M9 \& K, _# @
9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
1 A; x8 e5 ?: c Y c3 c" Wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) T* K ]9 [/ u/ x, j
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
% D+ j7 g3 B( e! c' b. y, X4 c* j( r, U
10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
$ q+ e. b6 b( ^) ?road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye* a3 X; U1 W+ ^( I: ~
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and( ~, L* j& \5 A; ]& w! x
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
# r7 z; I; K( _, H" E
9 I3 o- [( z! Z11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# {9 ]1 K# r6 Xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally* \% z# I+ f' S
Activated.'
" a; ~- P- E# O" G3 G* D4 g( L( a% v- I
12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone, L$ p9 q7 n, ?/ v. ?9 b7 n4 o2 E* T
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
) {+ e5 J0 |0 a+ i; qaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 Q) V8 T' K" p7 m. [9 W
0 a* ]6 G: t5 c! L" v: R
13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' z- E* o# K6 }) S4 J/ K" m
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! X3 o% X. T I9 h& e/ Ublankets in the vehicle. |
|