ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

) t1 X: b  R' E  i; T0 y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

& Z$ T1 C- w' I4 P1 X4 z0 f) U2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
5 d$ F* t2 k. E/ D3 [hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
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3 s- @6 Z0 G' r- d" L. T3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

- \) \: F1 d3 z$ w$ }" j4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
/ s* `2 @" v. `* m; Q0 cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
5 N% P2 {+ M" e
1 U$ E8 p- G# e/ G. D6 f( N6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
  \6 C6 I: |1 Y; c, B# P) qhas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
) f1 y6 Q( F; I4 o! P) k* v' _day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
2 a6 m: y9 D9 \. P  p8 Rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

% K1 W6 p( u) x" l+ f3 Q10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
. m5 \( _9 Q9 q) Wroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
$ L5 A3 `, D  n, d0 T: a4 n. ~  BRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

+ X# s" D; D$ b4 h( O. q0 A9 V0 S2 i% {6 P11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
7 Q' ^, A4 t( l$ y  Xshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'

12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
7 u$ J1 |. }4 j+ M* }$ A1 _! dyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
* m3 D6 r' H: m7 X& \: ^accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

; e/ C* ?0 E* C* i2 M7 m% Y13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. r4 v8 ]2 q. clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
4 n# ?& I0 b2 {blankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
, W) b" J, D) C" w- k+ {
后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
7 R4 R' f' n) K1 n5 F, t
7 G) {# d7 ^; O* L9 d/ T: b8 xit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。