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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:8 J5 T' r3 x" E; o/ z" p
" U% E0 y, F; a0 s& v1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.7 o2 C7 s! z6 t
- B; v3 h2 X. u2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
O* H% }# C4 D/ S& Ahour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday" d6 ]: x+ f; K5 ~1 n( X2 {( A) a( I
morning.7 t# J6 ^7 ~$ U+ o9 b. Z8 k
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,# ?5 Z& f' y8 h* c& h
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
1 u: z5 U( q: O0 m B) flanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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" N1 t+ \) k% C4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 e: K" \4 o' {4 Vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, H' `/ m- {& T! q! Imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" V6 \3 e9 N& t3 D; d+ t" u/ ^
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell$ i; J W7 o, X9 G$ \
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 R- E: J+ E- T! M' |
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
. ?& B$ d, a* I/ `. |, Hcussed out, and possibly shot.' Q! v) J* f) z+ M1 `/ r
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can3 e( Y: D7 h7 Q3 b' U8 [
get you shot.+ ], l- F- m% W) d3 l3 K
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
: u. T5 |1 y) z) c' p4 |has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
- R& l9 P" H4 g% q7 O/ bthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
" j& I2 E, ~$ F' tyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first2 y2 u) K/ [& V; m
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
8 Q$ q8 q+ a+ T. S6 b7 _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
q) _) v3 V" @/ Sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 ^) ]/ U! U/ o6 U# K) A, wmore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,& i3 ^" v+ I% } j
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 p D$ _; z4 e$ d8 b) r& s
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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% X z( w2 X; V* k. L' Y10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
+ j7 I& z# q, g1 Z# W% ?6 sroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye! i& g' I; B; r' t- B5 A
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and+ A) z8 \6 I) a7 Z3 c
66 Street are also the same road; got it?" C* x3 a! k: P$ n" Q' U
$ g+ h+ j$ l" Z3 G: H8 i% W" D11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, F) d |3 r8 J; E; q" D
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally2 x$ S# Z; d0 r, {3 }/ j- R
Activated.'$ s; m) E, V1 Q& ^. I1 o
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
. _+ L0 ?: s8 r; X& jyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
: }/ D. k9 m" D- j; f5 paccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.) H/ y& ]4 ?& c; [1 H
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
9 W) P) A* ]4 O0 y! C# l8 N8 i. H7 D, ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
4 F9 D9 h# N" e3 Tblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
