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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:6 p5 ^: ^* G; b( r/ W
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.' v5 w: p. Y3 {4 C9 W
6 B2 x5 s9 _# u- P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush$ Z4 B) L. p8 j* ~$ Z0 ^5 m
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
/ a% u9 G% k: v9 kmorning.! l1 a( M8 z$ D
* {9 p. C* f; _7 T8 t0 T- E3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
: N. s. Z, K- Y6 dyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
4 f& Q9 C o9 Z: s( j" s* W5 Llanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.1 Z2 t* C; @8 i2 f8 C8 u; Y
: l6 ?& }) o t8 ], k( n' y4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: n* [% i# z6 R7 t* x6 _
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest7 ~8 p" [) v" m) e/ S. i
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 w5 m. l; U' y. J% ^( L1 u4 [go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell9 t- ]' M7 Z: E; t2 N* J) T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 I& Q& u, ?3 u4 m
# Q" z4 X$ h8 r! W+ s/ D R' m u5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ }7 T0 D! a0 s7 ocussed out, and possibly shot.# f- e7 V& ~( s- W( ^
" M3 X1 n& Z; a K6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can s$ O4 d# L, v" d
get you shot.8 H+ }) \$ d0 X9 ?' d3 B
$ m l" ~$ v- k- _7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that3 W/ W+ U. r( u+ f8 Z$ |* b2 \
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at7 N! M2 L9 n+ V7 f2 F
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
& S2 C8 W% g. g* N% L+ V( cyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
4 U, m; S4 { |5 q4 _/ a+ M$ Hvehicle through the intersection.; Q2 f+ X) N, @* K* G, f# I
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour0 q4 X" g* S: y( p* R3 ]2 \" O/ W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next Z! o/ y2 s1 m# v; s+ T
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, ^) s8 T9 f* m' E( F% ?$ C! jmore construction starts everyday. w: Z2 C, d% l4 [; H- o8 |
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,/ X! D5 [% e' d% \" K- s2 ?
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
. w8 R' m, l* P7 u% T) ~: V. Nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. A u2 W. ]% c- o9 V' I
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
+ d% J6 d9 @- @/ y1 t. P* D* jroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye( ~, L; R8 d: z5 |+ k4 F4 n) G
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and `5 p* n& A" @% M
66 Street are also the same road; got it?3 z. P) T( A+ T
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the" q* ^" A6 t! P1 S
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally# i7 G. }1 H: P) d+ E. `0 g
Activated.'$ V# |7 |* V" I: ^
+ X0 o6 a6 J8 ~ J2 V" p. g7 s4 d12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,& N8 Z i) p3 X/ T+ {. f4 x
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'; `( Z# f$ g; }/ i
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% M5 o& U* u I. {3 g1 d* g9 P: Zlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ T, M% x& T! kblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
