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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'." `' w4 C* g5 K) T, T8 j
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
+ ]2 H+ g# N/ u7 @hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
" n. J1 A- c1 D [4 B m+ Jmorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,% X }) u5 H& B: d
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a- |" E. a, w) o3 d) B' v- {+ d
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.9 @: s( U1 j1 P- q* i3 f& g
# N- z5 g) i- I, P4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, c7 i& h# o8 P, u
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
9 V3 L n0 i. tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires7 d' g4 _1 T" Y- e
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell) v$ G/ P' k0 U
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 `% D; _, X3 m# f
' F% S* F5 ^% Q( l5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ |* s- n5 o1 o: \! [& ^2 @cussed out, and possibly shot.
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( s/ L7 L7 r& a- [ W6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
+ G3 s3 W. f+ f u K* b4 u( vget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
0 C$ K- `" j2 m& hhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
6 A1 Q4 ^" a2 g) i+ C8 p! qthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot% f0 Z% X. h/ D
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first2 e; a$ \& x, Q5 B: a+ `
vehicle through the intersection.5 d# F6 H3 p" B+ A; u; l6 K
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
8 ^1 ]# ?# c9 W0 c! e' T" rbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next, ^' Q1 J% P8 l; Z# F2 D1 F& j
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ }/ a/ _% q p+ e1 amore construction starts everyday.3 p- D& @. N" ~: @' C( U: L
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,5 _' ^2 B7 b. R- c! A9 g, v4 j# R
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 @6 q9 O1 v, F# M. e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: B: i! m9 b; V" q* b, w$ d3 k
( @- P; o7 e- P10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same/ u6 p" X! ^" y' @7 w& A
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye: N2 ~& X4 V" j/ r% E/ [5 K
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
@, E7 ~9 R' n( Y/ ]' |66 Street are also the same road; got it?9 p. `5 s; q# Q( S
8 C% M4 b7 P& \1 E* V11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 J* C0 @$ ^0 c" v1 Z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally( @% I% Q& h$ c( Z
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,1 }; E( l! p6 o
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'* h! O2 ^! ^) p- q6 V/ {& ?
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# M+ M0 b4 V1 i0 H* e8 r k, w- ]
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 g% e8 s+ u7 z1 S5 n& K e' alined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and6 z' n4 z( b0 e$ \6 @2 T
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
