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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:! E. W! F' x% A5 ]& r' P/ z. U& `
% r2 }* |, t) [' E) i0 U6 ^# q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.0 {' M7 k. _( {2 [1 f6 G6 P
' g8 a+ d- b% K$ e% d2 W8 Z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush* i* t1 G( d# m
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday( Y! |6 q8 Q! d' K. P
morning.( p3 `7 J! g) W9 a, S* K
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,4 A0 W% R3 p' a, W
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
7 p! T9 a4 V+ e# w Glanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its: b$ j( S4 i8 V
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 a$ ^! A& C, g+ S- M, W" j" B
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires+ k) G0 L, L- G4 a1 k
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell, }) ^9 N5 S1 |, Z* {0 W
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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6 z* z5 c1 j& y5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,' m* |( T3 ?( {5 M7 `
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
" Z! O* W3 f# e( A! N# bget you shot. q0 |: A7 p8 K
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
" d1 c' _( `$ N: ]& J0 l6 [2 m1 Shas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, m, z% E' Q) N% wthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot ]7 @( r. Z [2 b9 `( ?/ l8 p' A4 g
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
+ j2 B- E1 f4 u: `7 i9 ]vehicle through the intersection.3 {( V& u% [, O4 C+ N. @
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour3 O# ]4 f0 D- }% Z# J' Z: J# H; c
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. C0 ]: h2 }! n0 }( u% iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" {7 ?) F/ K& \! x, i# z' f; W4 H
more construction starts everyday.
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% V1 [1 P/ N& @( ^9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
* @7 F* A; k+ Qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 c9 f5 I% z5 w4 k \1 k5 P1 Wsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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+ t/ f; g1 ?1 e% O3 G10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
2 Z# p9 x( ^. W9 M/ ~# w$ hroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
% g4 e. ~& U, m% [0 HRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and8 y( J1 n# g6 y3 o/ s
66 Street are also the same road; got it? R3 V! i5 X' s
/ f7 X' g( o- U M11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ s4 \# ~# M" {
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally' {5 v$ D- Q1 M; U
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
4 W1 S. R8 o# |- p# cyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'+ A* `- X8 J" Y$ B
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 ?6 N- w, X+ m, ?) [9 S
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ F4 ~) g5 c' s8 U Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and: r: e+ ]; y! \; S" m; }, K( R
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
