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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
# g, N+ E, t& H) `0 Nhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday2 y+ _" H0 k$ {$ p+ h
morning.5 p& i0 N/ h; p% b, \
; o# Q0 j6 ]! k. ~3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
9 J3 s8 R+ `3 D' F g1 m1 j" Hyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a. N; B9 U- T1 |3 g6 ^
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.8 s1 T" t( j: {! {- H" \5 U% E
5 f5 w0 R- _( C: w8 n4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ V) ]% i" n% |. B9 f& Lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. y' }5 Z' u2 k5 ^- y0 g4 T9 E
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 z! |7 F2 g: N" G9 vgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
5 S% c; T" Y$ sphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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# O0 R7 L; W0 \6 _- f0 V5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, ~) r, }3 C4 s" Jcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can* I: e8 k, m2 v7 R. }" d7 V% R
get you shot.* ^+ ] j9 P2 W" R
) |" ?- ?, G2 {) x7 C; o6 W7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that: g- e+ W y5 {7 i
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
# f$ A$ I2 x5 R6 l& L+ _the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot' \! i; C( ~' A F
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first0 U1 E3 r; m, f
vehicle through the intersection.& r# w2 K) p! _/ m8 o3 l
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour2 S4 r# S* R D# h' ]
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 X6 h0 y3 A0 I2 s4 h
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
- B# G( q4 [$ {, P4 v/ j1 @' _/ wmore construction starts everyday.2 b: r. S2 S( g) O) G2 e. k
9 A" |" X# V7 m, n. E6 I4 S. `9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,( ]9 M# |& j0 W6 U" B2 f4 B
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# F. k2 K6 ^: |9 Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.3 Q! k$ c& ?. t: X& T
! ?! _2 T$ `- L6 b, b10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same8 z w6 b9 j( U, a7 C
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye& E1 o2 i# t! ~
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
. v \) k: }( F5 }4 n- C. z6 F66 Street are also the same road; got it?3 X# O3 i& N9 s/ j
! n) j' _7 [( [4 E11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, P: Y4 ]* S6 h- U/ s, B N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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7 ~% ^( A r0 ]9 ~: c* _& i" F12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
7 N+ b, r1 V1 Uyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
; j# m3 \/ T. A$ Laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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: U9 a% {' l: t+ c3 M5 ?13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 @& e3 w$ M g9 elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ M; U6 ?" e. \/ E5 [" W. ]blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
