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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:2 y8 F4 M' Q1 r' Q' h) C4 ~
H' n6 i8 U D; A7 k1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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6 A- ]/ d( C) h( f) j2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush3 g( Y. y* F, L$ d7 u
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday8 k5 Y' [/ l2 A9 o3 m2 u2 J% {2 w% x" H
morning.6 s- ]4 S/ c0 T2 b- {" g
& T$ E+ Z) f! d3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,+ H3 a: c: R; Y3 Z/ P& L
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
; m+ D; D/ b% A# Ilanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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9 `% \3 V; c& W+ o' u4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 Y5 e3 M+ i: {7 eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ y W" j1 o ]/ f$ C6 y* E" y
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ A+ \* K6 R3 @go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
& @# y) o4 Y- S* w# Xphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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3 {! x1 C% M+ O; Q7 R0 z* A$ _5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 i) T/ N$ g+ b) z
cussed out, and possibly shot.9 x9 I8 {5 w% I! Y
7 O4 ?! Y0 k; U. U. M" b! m! W6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
7 h( U3 Y! i& }, G4 Cget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
2 Q* F/ I6 o. k% D7 `6 b" Qhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
; I+ ^. r3 J ^; P' Nthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot* L" Z3 ~9 N! X
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first7 G7 b) d; ^6 C& R7 ]8 C5 Q$ ~
vehicle through the intersection.7 t& ^& O( f4 y/ c
/ u( ^+ s8 @; o/ w" o* C% B0 _! o! g8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
. [. T# B0 q) Y& O8 Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
; n8 @4 O7 }! h0 }day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 e8 @/ G0 O* r! u+ g
more construction starts everyday.: _- Y; _' o: q7 Y/ v
: Z7 N$ A' s% o9 s0 P l+ c: v* {9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
6 |" u. @0 Z& g9 g1 @deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
; X6 O. S, z: J; msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
% i% @4 Z$ t, @5 G2 D1 M2 sroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye* {0 ^+ n# H0 U8 S5 |1 H& p# X
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and, ~' [1 ^/ K1 k `9 b
66 Street are also the same road; got it?9 N# B# B' M! y
8 e2 L. w. e: d2 H9 `11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the$ j: y+ @/ ^& ?" i
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally! _' J3 ]; b. W
Activated.'1 z/ Y1 K$ K1 J' p0 S; J$ y" ]6 R7 Z
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
7 z9 ^( S# P$ x yyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'6 k1 h% U* X6 I2 I3 e; N v' [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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6 O3 a6 Y& K* d6 x13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! G. V$ L: g9 }3 L6 Z4 Mlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
$ H8 |& A9 b/ i& ublankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
