ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
) q1 z. p! @8 j5 x" M0 L3 O9 M  [hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
8 w( t9 `1 Z4 e/ g' iyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
7 o8 I# ]3 ~2 Q7 P0 h: X4 z7 `phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5 n* R& T' I; i4 K' ^5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 l/ h2 R8 |# u9 k" Ecussed out, and possibly shot.
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3 A& R$ x+ l' D5 p) W/ D6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
# \4 r/ ^4 H- D2 bthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
) f8 G, V0 q0 ~' ~vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
: N- n/ j1 L2 D9 Q8 W. s$ B  \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 y. P# `! H7 {/ {% G; L. M10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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! W) w8 H, b! Q; a11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 _' k4 ]% y- g* _9 N0 Kshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
/ t& ?* _! o1 t, u% p3 ~7 fActivated.'

# Y% C+ ^+ Z+ W12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
# O1 M9 m( r1 Z1 Eyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
+ q/ E1 j. F* t$ P9 ?accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 d4 Q# s) l( o2 L: {# gblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

- G$ Y. d) y" g" n+ b后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

3 e- P1 V$ E, z5 G9 `" Lit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。