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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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A8 w5 l4 L1 g! f8 o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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- E# }; W3 ^; r; d2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush6 c! ` q% L' K1 D5 w3 A A1 _
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday5 @. p$ p5 B- k9 J4 R
morning.
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* [( e; j% c8 K0 u7 n# X3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
8 l' S; a5 H( pyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
2 ?2 G+ \" @- f, P/ c9 v8 ?landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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8 l8 \5 S9 o+ r# ~0 ?4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 K/ L- X _- P) M, d& u8 }/ Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. @5 i$ L, M$ \% ^: {& {& k+ b
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' T: N+ v. l' C: s% n1 a5 Mgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell$ R: B- b, N. D2 Y5 a6 J; ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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7 L) |) s- B% ]+ h( g ?! R5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 C T+ | Q) B A, z4 p$ w' wcussed out, and possibly shot.% I j, S3 X) {
# A7 E) \0 m M! X6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
1 q* L+ s1 V n5 }9 `% h9 Uget you shot.
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& v" g% ~0 E& s% ]" _ r! o" C7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
! f9 e. M4 t/ {has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at9 W2 l: g9 K u
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
0 J4 D x+ W8 z( E" Y& a' ^/ lyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
+ X4 c" W! a7 z5 Vvehicle through the intersection.7 h+ {* K) P$ W: u5 O
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour, b- c# p1 u, `6 [7 G' T
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
}! }8 d, s5 y6 M# w- ^day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ ]+ }+ X6 E5 W' A4 U0 V
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,) ?: T0 ?$ a% j& t
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 H$ n# B0 E4 Z4 E. g, V
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same6 i# V- I# L) t& k
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye" r9 I7 Q7 y/ X0 T9 U, ]" K
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
$ A' k3 }: I" b" O/ z: K; T66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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) Q% M0 y) q, [/ v9 w11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, ~, f! a5 V1 u7 Z4 L+ Q8 `
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally' E/ a' Z- h& X0 k
Activated.'
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8 D0 M9 A; i5 r. E# y6 I# l12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,3 r. M- w. Q- S; K
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'8 N' n% \1 h/ M1 R1 I
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: r& O3 M( P& d1 s' B2 X
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! }- t- o7 _3 N5 V T F! _% jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( H5 d5 e! o& Q3 Lblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
