ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
. r# K# i7 s+ ^+ J7 Q! _, ?
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
7 V7 R3 ]# t  \* {. A0 w
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
3 R' L* x5 D$ H$ {0 O/ @hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
: t. l! h! k* Y, ^morning.
& d7 q) j7 W. e7 l; k- X! K$ Z
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
# Q  A9 l0 @( Z* E, ayou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

2 v% K  ]+ }1 F2 X7 ?  H8 X4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
! c/ m- L' @1 s) W& j+ f  i' Q3 B/ n' Y, emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
/ u+ Q: c" O8 W, V
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
. [! s2 ~. x) O" x1 I. n8 T( W
+ S! g7 S! Y* ?  Z. W, n6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
( J- m% x6 n0 p3 H+ F: o, Jget you shot.
. o2 ~  k# |, G
7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
( e% m# G8 x% w- X. B/ G2 r/ rhas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
6 ^6 u, }& r& Iyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
7 }! t& ]3 s5 u& S2 F: I1 jvehicle through the intersection.

8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 l  S# K; C4 c, qday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

& E1 A+ L# Q7 i9 }0 m  J" L9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 H  M: U" }5 z7 z10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
6 z. q6 P- f& e1 broad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

& _$ ^: H  M1 \. V; u% q  g& @$ j4 F9 R11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
% V! M. g% }5 U' h! ?$ EActivated.'

! {2 r; N/ s; y- ]: O+ J% G12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
* p. Q  l+ M' N% N; N% Vyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

2 a4 d0 _7 L# F0 k. i# T+ }13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 N* p& e* Z2 s7 klined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 k: h! ^* l; ]; r0 P  Z1 oblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

+ \2 R, }: y7 B: B: Q, {! C后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。