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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.# ?1 W- Y3 z6 w; y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush, i& U) J, \! k/ i) ^
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
m$ m K1 k U( }( O( \morning.
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5 a+ R) b' \8 x, b6 n" E3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,2 X2 s0 n- G' K# k( ~+ j
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a5 X$ m6 n5 J( ~( L; n
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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2 e$ K- |) X" A. j4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
( L5 Y" F0 d, Eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* q; W U! K- z$ Z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires% U2 ]* J" {+ U4 A3 f
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
5 S8 ^8 |: l0 w/ iphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 I$ q* |) ]4 B- V7 ?5 X9 v
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ k6 c) N, I6 r+ V0 K3 Q
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 F/ ]* ]% L- Y: r. ~- C( c6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can8 n$ |( f2 U5 E# q, d6 ~/ W. d* k
get you shot.% ]% v/ t2 }5 ? ?' o0 s* K
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
# O6 `$ K- [5 N8 b1 y ^has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at2 o2 E( y: w$ |
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot. Z) n: P5 Y; Y$ V$ E( E9 y. h
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first; d* g/ p- Z% ]3 s6 y. |3 n
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour* x+ s' I Z3 ~& g* _
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
+ H# \# }, `9 N7 O, _* _* Yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. H0 ?: w: s0 x0 cmore construction starts everyday.
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% c6 o n, b3 ~. l( O/ f9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
5 h9 Z4 S- W- X# u- u7 J1 T: [deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 D: d {, M- g& j5 J- K( \* @7 Bsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.) H/ ]) R3 [& n6 r0 W2 r' B
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
" ~' F1 x( Z& H9 C3 E8 N/ v( Nroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
+ A4 F7 g6 E; e4 s: j1 R. @% CRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
% n" r v4 z0 N8 g66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 h2 F$ Q1 Q4 j+ n( ~ ?$ x1 Vshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,. z; L# n$ Z1 u( i! P
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'; h6 x1 k+ |$ ^% h" ]% z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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! r; z* Q; O4 S: z13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# G* l% }' ?5 R8 V. k" Wlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& `5 } Z1 K/ q( c- ^# |' r& {blankets in the vehicle. |
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