ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
# l5 I" l- F0 L6 S2 G6 shour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
" y$ S1 |% M2 z: H% a5 B$ }morning.

* W; Z8 S' [5 |3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
" I2 c1 o; u5 x2 r0 iyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
& u, ^, ~9 y+ t4 glanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

3 ]2 t" _* |% b" D8 _% `1 ~4 I4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ e3 J! e6 a- x! G5 V" b! u/ Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) ]1 F. x$ `# ^  f! gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
0 j  J- u0 g8 ]0 L" ?( x; V* Wgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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$ S: g4 J4 R+ x* s6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
9 u% f6 e7 }. w+ ]+ m: d" t) fget you shot.

( F! J: E' G% M7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
# _5 `! ?+ A: \. Wvehicle through the intersection.

8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
. c' [3 d* p+ T' E( }( @barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- t; d# [) ^( `) U2 ~6 G; oday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

7 V* D- E3 [- @( s: D( h9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

7 ]1 B) y; }9 |; v10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
7 V6 [; C% t3 n2 c) |road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
  c  [: D# O  Y% o  L. s  H( N66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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  k6 e9 _1 D& W6 r+ C11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
9 `! D6 O9 p1 [$ {* T) |0 U  MActivated.'

9 M1 t( a: P' d5 Y1 v12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
4 u, o; m" s* i+ w% h& waccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
6 p5 A/ K( `6 ^0 U6 X' a8 h: J
$ n) q2 h- M) ^4 u: |- j3 ^  `( M13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ M. _! u2 @" g* Clined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" B( Q, C6 f8 y1 Lblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。