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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:( |) _# y/ a; m2 @
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.6 H& W5 n( x( X$ `+ l! ~& k
y" w4 n1 j0 D4 e. R% N1 A2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush* G! i+ B+ k$ e
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
# I4 _* w+ X5 r, dmorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
5 |3 n) ~& j; o, @* Z+ \you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
. i# d* ^ Y% a5 t1 b+ Dlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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- Y5 ^ s9 I9 f. C4 y/ q+ j4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 V6 d) v8 G5 t$ z" J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 v+ Q5 z+ }: c/ T! n& o
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. e+ h. i4 U) N
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
( @0 \$ M- a W" c) w* `, e5 Pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 u# V: T5 P0 b# U4 ?0 mcussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 l6 I1 @7 q# {) B# d2 E- {" J6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
- a* N( l+ ~6 a7 W' zget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- @; W; T* @& t6 E: [$ u P. nhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
4 L9 C+ v9 W F1 }5 X e4 |8 ^the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot8 m$ `' u" w! |% j; z- w
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first) u8 R. d8 \' v9 V
vehicle through the intersection.( U' ]! n- z+ t2 [( S+ x5 C6 X
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
& Q3 ~; x6 @$ M: A+ [! nbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 I/ g/ J, {' l7 \9 @
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ ?) T/ j1 a) j; r& Y/ l0 P
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
$ ?% j4 u: n& `5 \2 o8 C9 Rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 h+ E. _) t* C) V) @7 Dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.! i1 l# t. `6 W; m
, e* O; F9 O3 F, J1 e' T: ^10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same1 Y& `% f8 S: D
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye3 l7 A( B: J. _0 r0 c
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
: ^3 @$ v5 S8 o66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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( N( R- O# H8 k0 g11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. B# W) K: ?% H+ T9 _shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally+ i' u) Z8 s2 C8 k
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
+ H/ p, S2 S* w5 H' F0 [you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
2 m/ @$ D% C8 \' h7 v5 z" Zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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- y9 Y6 \4 {, I13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur" j; H! {. H: O- |% M+ ]- e
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% b/ ?7 K. k+ q8 F
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
