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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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; H8 ~& ^' q+ W |* m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2 n8 ~- C. v0 ]3 r- V# J: L5 q# C2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush- P g! w7 @3 ]5 V/ t
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday: Q7 U$ Q! E1 ^' v: u1 O
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,% a) L4 C% o/ D
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
0 {: R. r- K; v& l/ M! Ilanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4 v" o+ t l' _1 S4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, Z& ?5 m. o) u: q7 l* l0 [0 K$ `6 bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: O2 Z3 @8 y" }# x" B' n, o( K+ d
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 G! O* R5 R5 u6 }# }
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
' V# H' }' ^; ^phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ [& ]0 j% g# o5 f4 Q( l2 ]5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* q9 k: h9 Y. h+ Y% v% Pcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can- F l; j# l; n* h4 I
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that6 ]$ y* F5 u: l6 z$ e- n
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at! o5 J# d' ?4 o: l& C3 U/ P
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
! U% b4 c8 r2 U, y: @you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first. G+ `7 x: A& Q/ w% }# t' j
vehicle through the intersection.! `- u" p0 _; k6 C: M
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
/ X W! c. e5 Lbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
. L b" X" Z I) Dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& z% r. ?7 g) R8 O( fmore construction starts everyday.4 g! F& L- W* y" i# z
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,9 }9 l6 U# r( ]$ U$ o5 Q) `" a3 P+ R
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 l1 h/ H" W+ z$ n, r
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.; g% G, |( V% D3 P. O3 a0 P
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same0 r4 _9 g0 t* B6 D3 \; e y0 w
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye- ~0 l8 D5 f( K) n9 ?+ S [
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and. q1 C9 y! m/ P3 F' ]/ H8 j3 r
66 Street are also the same road; got it?. h) g1 v* N3 I9 J) w7 _& b! J7 M2 X
8 I, [5 x! j+ U+ t11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# y* J, Q6 T% s L0 M4 m- {8 Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally- E% z0 h- |. U5 V- Z
Activated.'
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/ t( i1 Y5 ~% M8 f6 S12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
$ G% N% b" Q7 _you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
) `# S" u9 b% s% P1 W. o9 Eaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. I7 _/ [3 N5 n: [' n: y' nlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( O1 A6 y, r6 o8 @ x6 oblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
