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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.. ?" Y( \4 ~5 u: ]# i4 B
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush9 b4 B( k( }# s) A% R
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday7 W) i8 Z3 t4 E( b* m% x- c
morning.
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3 i( a! `+ ~& M6 i' F3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,3 U& v- l$ Y# k. Z7 f; B5 g o
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- p7 |4 O1 D: c, ~# f% flanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
9 f" t+ e! r* M4 sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
2 n5 u% x. Y9 `: o7 A2 {4 R# ?3 J' mmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: e# d N- n0 O/ jgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
; [$ j/ M$ m1 p2 cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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& A$ ~2 P) m! E; B2 X# C5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,* P( ~9 _4 R* ~4 W" j* n8 B
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
9 X/ J" d; B2 ?# W& E: h2 g5 k9 mget you shot./ ]. a9 a; O8 q q9 |% F% ^
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that) g/ c8 G' z7 u9 }5 n% J3 T* k4 d C
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
6 O* F) q1 \ U: q1 athe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
, B6 M& N: U7 {0 _' dyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
# o; Q- L# D! o) Avehicle through the intersection.. Q5 Q: j' P/ C9 ]4 \* N* s% S
+ ?6 a# p% _ p A& R2 n% A- `' i; S8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
$ Q" |' \ U; t) v$ ?/ wbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 [4 T. r; M8 D5 M. Eday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& m6 V' R- q' q8 M: F
more construction starts everyday.; s3 M9 g. S& K3 S+ r* `1 r
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
; l; X- n. j1 s U: Zdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 B! A# w, ]( @squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
. _2 y+ o. K- ]0 kroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
6 h0 u' X: ~! C2 H7 CRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
1 N: _' J7 b" @* e7 k5 u6 R66 Street are also the same road; got it?! Z/ `! e& l0 r9 b
' G( P/ i" O9 p; }% w* ]% X11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& @7 p! C3 K; A
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally ` G7 o3 F: V6 [7 q
Activated.'
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, I0 i3 z2 `; A1 ~9 O& W12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,8 C. k4 `# r" X: t
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'3 I7 O' B9 e8 j1 ]* q' R
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 ]8 |: t3 u7 ?! s" d: u
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 n; c' I' k6 \+ U" Q" m6 C! K; }2 k
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) y8 L& M4 a) b* v9 y
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
