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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:7 z/ |, `# v+ a, |: @$ q6 k% V$ L
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.% J1 s0 ^- T; L
! I: S" a$ H4 J6 ]5 a6 a$ S2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
4 b& k5 t! |- o- v w/ u6 Ihour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
- L( Z; ?6 V5 H' ~, `0 ]; \2 Kmorning.. t! V X3 b: H
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
' D: Z N% N% cyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a- U4 j$ `8 f! x) q+ `
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 n( ^, s% A7 S$ T1 vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
) z( m& _ \0 S. gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% |% I+ @- C4 G+ m+ _: i; K6 Fgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
. d# ]' d% ^) O3 x+ L! a. tphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 o3 C! r& e5 k& G4 ~
6 n: y6 {0 ]4 j* e- u# i+ L- T: [/ K5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! M4 f ]7 E2 ~7 G/ m' o: Ccussed out, and possibly shot.: S8 c# N7 j5 ^' u5 K! z- A. |+ u
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
8 R) ~( g4 I1 L: e3 j) dget you shot.2 @! S2 i& n3 A# D' o) p* {: j
4 r# M6 a4 k0 n+ ~ S5 P7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- n. c' ]; o' ~0 B: g$ O, k- Bhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
5 Q0 Z. ?: e6 J8 l: ithe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot6 A3 f6 E1 [5 B3 X
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first# H- @. D3 d+ M# R5 y
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour! ^. H9 c! p* B' X" c0 y) F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- G4 t" M1 O2 u4 ^day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 b- B4 z3 v& hmore construction starts everyday.! Z1 D7 E) X) \0 S: n
, c. z5 Q: O% j6 p9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,. X6 B0 ~# _) s6 g' w) y* K; g
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 J- ^4 G$ j( d) j
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ u. S+ q. p0 u, R% G( v4 V
" \ J6 n2 a, i) _- S$ B10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
' Y7 u ` Q3 G' ~& M1 L6 V1 zroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
4 j: M; C# Z1 J; ]' D' zRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and, D: @$ H. d0 [( Z" ^! g: s+ Y
66 Street are also the same road; got it?$ O8 @: m' v: I
! a0 s9 S. r i5 q11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* t4 k5 n1 P! s) S
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally" t, l% p4 a4 B g
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
- m4 J* K; w0 W3 i H9 Ayou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'; P: t; v% K6 p2 C# h5 Z) ]( b3 O
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' r2 k/ b! w8 |6 I8 N0 J
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ ]+ ^: W0 ]/ e+ M1 @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and; G6 K6 H3 C) M K% z
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
