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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:9 d4 ?9 G; U$ y! J
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush# _9 f: b g: i1 m/ ]
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday3 f+ @& c8 B9 }3 @$ K
morning.
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: Y0 C N5 D& d3 p0 b# o, r3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,; a3 a( {! ?0 M" ]' a X' O
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a$ Q& v% Z r* n& a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.3 X f5 v" `* l! p2 h
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
% u4 N. B3 _4 }: k# S" O: Rown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ |8 \; |* y5 y: G' k7 G$ kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
2 O. R" B7 q2 ^! Vgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell( ]; n# U4 M# N6 m% w4 d+ y: x
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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9 t' [' q1 J6 _6 [9 d" l1 v5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" k/ C1 N4 n$ V0 G' P5 c; Ycussed out, and possibly shot.1 ^' \: l! ]. g7 i+ y
$ g( t+ m: B9 D3 S6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can" |2 c5 G' G; {
get you shot.' \% e& c- e* B) O
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that. b" x/ r% x: ]7 y9 i+ }
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at, M' ~. \8 y( W1 f; U6 G5 |
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
( t1 n& m. N6 K+ Fyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first( T$ ?9 @5 E: w) J( g" y9 x! X- M
vehicle through the intersection.* |8 M- J0 M( B! O
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour" u" e2 G" g4 F+ u: {5 V1 _/ e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next8 x5 X5 t" ?5 X# {/ @1 @% ?
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) {/ H8 G3 h+ ^! f2 Z- Pmore construction starts everyday.; N" z8 \6 n( v3 H$ `
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,8 t) B- x- O! v
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,1 k o' n- G- w* @8 w6 l4 G
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 a# R1 J4 D" f3 E! d7 O
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
& l: L( W& @6 L8 Hroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
0 ]7 `# t+ n x) `0 eRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
8 }' ]: E; h: k# T; c66 Street are also the same road; got it?$ O$ T- p- l0 n/ W! [
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; e3 _3 @9 w8 H% F! u+ _. A
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally) e9 I! ]) G3 Y! i5 B: D
Activated.'
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! Z6 y5 x o' \ f% o. R5 _12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,! w9 ~ ]/ [; X. j* @
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
1 L b4 L+ }8 R6 x" l# y4 |accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 z+ F* l$ o8 O
3 a. E0 u4 V; n/ f6 T* j/ G13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- R" V& g% h- L, r* slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
1 d2 g7 _! N/ vblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
