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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:& ~* o; f$ ?" z& a! S$ Q7 w+ j
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush" f, {7 l9 y7 w. Y. v
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday+ w5 |: V/ i% d( g$ u% z* f
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
4 z+ C* w3 {' @; j2 r/ n0 ~/ h' uyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a$ o. e2 v* I# L: t Q. i
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. }5 Y; g }' Y, t+ R$ d8 vown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 |8 D3 v" X+ S" G
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: V0 w1 m4 F& f: `1 x/ T6 Ygo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell5 H" Y o5 e8 Y- E- Z3 H; Y4 n a
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
" ?1 j1 c( ?7 M% I; [- ecussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 }0 d, z( u S/ J9 O: I6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can4 j# ^/ \ u6 K
get you shot.8 b/ r$ A. N; U( H
4 B0 a% N+ F: S* W7 `4 c2 k2 z* x" y7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
; O- L3 v& q+ Khas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at5 m9 F& j% }( S$ D/ t7 H' s5 q
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot; E. e. r6 v- b \* b( p, a
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first3 }4 E$ ]& p9 A
vehicle through the intersection.
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3 Y* B8 C; c' y) X& W( p8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour; |3 R2 @/ C# F' |4 H3 \
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 o' U0 I. N. ]* z8 B4 kday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% u! O" i* \3 u( J2 T" M9 r* L: bmore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
3 y1 `2 ]- M' M8 N) {% O* s& Udeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* w. K0 D$ p+ d* b: J& X& w
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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0 u$ C" L' V) e% x0 D6 X" d$ y10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
, M% G5 V: B1 g/ g; i i) ^road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
; g s& ? h$ v1 R6 {2 oRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
4 t: h3 d W, I5 Q66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ Q' M( I- h9 F- C3 R' }3 Bshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally. h$ F" g+ ?( w& m( N9 v) G
Activated.'
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5 @$ Q7 P _* O4 t+ O8 Z# e# Y12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
% h- s. g) Q: ryou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'( F2 r% Q0 U: Z I5 T1 Q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur- {, D0 M1 |' y/ f8 _8 B0 h
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and/ K& ^! z+ `: }; [* p: C6 u
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
