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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON: H- M$ ^$ A# m; ~ N- m. _
9 p1 \1 e- @0 P: C- x/ ~ Q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.$ w; D! U) o( D
, L) T2 ?. h4 W% e2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
" r9 `# i3 ]9 w3 ^hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
9 ~' [1 R* n* O2 v8 _$ jmorning.* r' E( [" u, }1 Z G2 j+ P
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
* G e( w9 N/ G( x- iyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- p5 T% q4 s( r" [, [3 }, d$ Klanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its0 H6 m2 Q) N5 _; j8 G) H
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ h$ S8 X2 ?% ]4 O( T* } m. e
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. ~+ W# I+ ]9 c8 h9 Q3 ~$ b
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell: X6 X, Q$ {% E P) M) k, M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 ]) \# d4 O0 b( E3 y- U& h
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! k7 Z# l% H, u5 q, ~4 B% N0 \
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
j; ~& p1 Y) a8 Y, }0 O) Wget you shot.
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2 ]; i1 c, b7 d7 ^ d% g4 d7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
* N7 D! t+ {+ r) m4 r8 M% Fhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at6 X8 f- i) H+ b0 R; w% K- U, e
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot7 h% A: W' q$ _. w: P$ l6 b1 U
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first" C: h- n& I y
vehicle through the intersection.9 C1 }6 g* \1 A* n
8 `& E% Z w# w; o$ M: D# i8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
* Y! C8 _! E7 O1 ]% Y$ gbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, b6 U5 W; a j& h4 u- aday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
! O+ {, w( m3 f; d; \: P$ O) wmore construction starts everyday./ Y6 Q c6 [; m j8 G
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
- I% G5 u8 E/ jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* d/ {0 q8 s/ A& dsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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' `4 p' L& V6 r8 z10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same( Y7 A- y0 A2 Z, X
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye( d% ^, W2 g2 x5 k* P2 i
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and8 }9 O% ]5 t- k% w9 t7 I# Q6 m
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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2 z9 d7 ?2 \3 A# |11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& S3 }3 g0 p4 z6 O+ O& i% i* I! D) Ishoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally6 g; O, B) h( g5 _' M. R0 S
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
; [" b' s3 l0 X) y# [& v: Z4 ^you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
$ E& B3 K9 \5 H% E0 I; \+ k* i" Zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.0 P' O2 K7 ]; G. s4 ]
- U S: L& `( M13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
8 n/ Y5 E, g* ?0 b8 y- W* Xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! L. b. }% G" M7 U! s' W+ a* [
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
