ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

% {" _% t- B1 }; z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
  |+ a" f" E8 b5 [7 S0 Z% hhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

3 y, k, Y1 W: B7 U8 p' D4 S3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
" y1 F/ x; u: b* {( S7 m0 Iyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
) `+ M/ u6 r0 d/ W+ x% pcussed out, and possibly shot.

/ p! i! w3 v$ o: q, U1 t. p8 O3 G6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
7 I+ B% _+ e* X. j) |. khas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, e0 g9 m; _) B4 T' C; Ythe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.

8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
! y( p4 r) k4 r+ Y/ Pbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 a* T( n$ F; r* q3 d, Rmore construction starts everyday.

% w" h5 W1 O& d4 C+ J9 U9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
+ T/ }7 x' r/ f$ [deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 _6 d/ j! D" d5 [% h; Csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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+ i- w1 M4 T# }9 S% y/ n7 s10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
5 u3 r; `7 d4 F- ~% [" g2 C0 sRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

$ K! c6 H6 l, `' f2 \6 x11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
& p; a& ?( Z: K% c/ ]( z# K* A3 t) kActivated.'
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4 ^/ H$ P8 s+ ]6 \: b) ^9 l# u* |12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
. I3 U5 \8 b: X5 E  [; S0 Dyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 m% t1 h8 `8 |- o" N1 gblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
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it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。