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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:# i7 j9 {5 P0 F* e# \% ~$ k6 w" D
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.4 p' N' u; Z5 o
+ t, t3 @, v" d! z6 g2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush& t2 Q, F O0 l& J7 l
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday; a3 L/ n- ^' K& p/ X' n0 u
morning.) W, u6 j" h# ?+ l7 A, b3 {
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
, E0 d' H$ S0 A3 ]' x ^- Uyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a1 ?4 w9 J+ o, b
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.6 w/ |5 J( b% `3 D6 n. F
9 R! q' \/ y3 `. B4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
+ J$ i, g; ]1 S) \- w* H; u' I4 Sown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( Y7 h/ O* @; n3 I, Zmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
) P1 ]7 l* d. X' \1 J4 g$ i ngo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
3 O5 j! n! `; Z& |4 Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 T9 B, r d+ Q5 a& P' o ~5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 S' {. i* F0 {& e; Ecussed out, and possibly shot.
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9 T' |! W9 b: J3 C {5 [! w) ^( ]* V6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
9 h; j& v# n! T1 `# t6 U( gget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
! F1 m* y* O m3 g0 T% _* qhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
" v! l+ C5 ~; i cthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
7 \9 Q( J3 W. ?9 \' f0 |# q+ oyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
% A8 i2 g6 J4 y1 m) Z6 g. rvehicle through the intersection.. o0 Z% v. [# |/ s; W8 Z0 b
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
. I' D9 Y+ @) @barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 x3 ?9 d) L/ P; dday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
$ y" }8 f- l! kmore construction starts everyday.! {) R0 `+ Q! [3 z" ~# j! l
9 ]9 o. w# ?2 h: W- i" {9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,4 I* P# I: Q% K7 ]6 z# |) r" ~/ T
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, V5 p4 a# `8 n1 `
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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. l# ^- @. x! m1 q# G, }- S, M" D10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
8 L/ S5 q i. l$ p4 f- K! Qroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye: G) `1 D* c: f/ h; {
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and" R3 ~% U4 X [3 @& @, c8 p2 [, N
66 Street are also the same road; got it?6 A0 B. I6 D! L X7 s d
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ p9 Y- I: } j yshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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: F% l: O/ g4 u: w: J12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,7 h! H! Z2 `, K
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
* o+ S& B! g: Yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur# G0 c0 a$ J* A0 t* t7 b$ {/ |
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and- t/ E/ s$ h: p* \* |! Q
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
