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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:5 T/ Q8 d3 ]& z( ?* \
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
+ N8 q$ f4 h$ t& }" L8 m& D( q( Rhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday. O& G* ]0 H) _. K9 t+ E
morning.
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6 K, ~! c$ r5 |. v8 P( B' p3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,& `8 v2 x2 }2 P1 d( ]
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
5 H# d* ^- k1 l/ Slanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'., ?2 a& H2 R P- {, S6 A8 v4 T
2 a3 a$ F9 \+ y- i! d }6 C4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% U9 S) b" f& _! X
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 a+ c1 o9 r! q6 c' Wmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires4 n2 g4 q! q) o
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
4 `, I3 z. d) D* y( y; ~) vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ z* ~: E7 o+ g- A2 n3 w: e5 n9 h
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,. ?8 z; X" p: d( c6 S. F( w
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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1 m- v) @3 _! P4 y) ^% Y/ v$ r6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can9 D5 k, v0 V N* `
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that$ o- o$ V: n! W
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
" V$ |1 L! ^0 z, {; d$ `; vthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot0 F+ G( @0 \* j; x
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
& X5 f2 O/ w4 Yvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
$ [2 `# M& b. f) n; g0 u% r0 Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
" ^9 f. @' O6 X, B0 fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and R) s: p3 C* ~% G- K/ H# `: z! x
more construction starts everyday.
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/ @: a! } a2 i, N0 N9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
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squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
6 D6 n) v* Z! zroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye3 H$ O5 L1 q( N* N
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
: `3 h+ X% S( \1 ?66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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8 W4 n7 t, n( y* F. Y11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 J/ }1 c: ^. N- g4 {( _. U5 D" eshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally/ T c F/ l; K+ ?0 k8 W( I! m
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,* |! ?5 }' n# i+ N- B( h) [
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
! i7 V& z$ O8 b9 b# D; ` G, g' laccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' K/ ?9 j( t: |8 a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
* n- A. i( g: m: tblankets in the vehicle. |
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