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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:9 K* @" s7 U$ e
' J3 k8 F. u2 e; n5 h/ v1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.5 _- O. j7 p+ m, u' a2 P
@9 o0 f! z( Z. C" N& G/ j$ j2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush+ t$ @2 E4 d: F" m! X
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,& t* L9 c/ a E7 _' \% e
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- W! h, s8 c+ \. ulanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.% K! k2 a0 g/ }( t" v% F( q! |; N" D
; v3 X" s- s0 X* m4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its' O2 r6 J. v; y5 @$ h" J
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
5 v; }/ F% c* r1 P& Xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: h5 t# j& [2 z x1 Q# q
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
" @: F3 T% T% W9 I% M7 W" s. Pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 k& \. b* n) y* F$ `6 B+ U/ s
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can' d9 p* v, E7 ?( X2 {( ^+ Z9 u
get you shot.3 H1 E% ?; N- D7 ^
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- D Q5 V9 V. k, M8 vhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at3 g* Z' g' `- b6 T
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
% y- R1 m. f& @: U( [) J* kyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
$ f( a/ q, ?5 O$ w0 V" Wvehicle through the intersection. q& b8 j- X6 U$ h4 b! Y
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
' X# K, b1 ?8 D# s! |. |: vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 O! K. g4 Y4 @+ x
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. t$ v! F5 N1 Q8 I+ U- c" D1 _7 n* Cmore construction starts everyday.
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' p- Z" b2 m: v# w+ @9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
, V1 G! d; E2 y2 {deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* l: y% ]# Z" }6 M$ Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 o9 Z+ f7 R: {$ ^9 r# S
$ i. R! ^' [" R, ]5 f10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same. x/ S; c1 T2 }5 D, c1 k4 J
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye0 [5 J4 D6 W4 a' |; X$ ?9 R: V5 I
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and9 \/ D/ y2 d) u( z' e. w
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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x2 r% u; r9 h11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 ~: [2 C- ]5 [( [+ u
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
0 W9 a9 F9 ?# ?" ^7 P2 HActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,. D+ ^' [. f9 p9 r! A0 Q
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'7 r4 n5 I- ] ~. c i/ b& s
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.8 @; O' e! U8 e8 C) m6 c3 _
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 I* ?+ Z- j9 x1 ^
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and ^8 v1 t+ L: ]
blankets in the vehicle. |
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