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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:8 K! J6 x* a/ y T
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'." Z( a# O) W4 D, b
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush6 b. D* _$ U% ~. E7 }& _
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday5 I c& X0 @3 T! f8 B% X3 P4 x
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
+ d2 y! I: E# u& a* _$ x7 Ayou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a6 R2 T7 S- {- @; I N
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.( Y3 {/ @! z9 K/ z8 A. L! n/ ~
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ G9 u7 d4 g) R. F( \2 R w5 |+ bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest6 K+ b& h% _/ M% Q$ ^6 s
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- H, v) T& u( q% o
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
: v/ E- Y* `2 I; B+ Q* E* qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
( r' ~6 q! A/ f% P: m% F6 r+ ucussed out, and possibly shot.
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$ V. \% O3 c- E3 B6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
6 P' Q1 A+ O1 [% Uget you shot.1 B c, z6 k" e: O: t, n
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that! N0 p% t( v7 s& R" m# Y0 R
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
# S' v5 m& n5 p0 [! N* xthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
6 W( H. U$ f }) v# ayou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
0 o. L8 Y" q$ C$ P7 Evehicle through the intersection.* s1 b1 J e: l8 B* \0 ]) Q* c& g
5 R( y) w+ J8 ?8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour5 g( c, I5 Y! A
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next7 H5 ~! @* k: p; Z( d8 [9 k. t( D
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 G9 j$ c- Q: @4 \+ X) _
more construction starts everyday./ {9 E2 t. n; W1 J( n$ ]. X
0 a5 p$ `; g2 ~( z9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,) {4 |. o' |9 \ a
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,: Q9 l3 w! X; L ?& d; U
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same, K) D* b! o: x" S
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
9 M) u! A' q6 G' wRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
1 c1 t( o: u" c' U- A" G66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 b- p- C- B6 H3 s! Y- l7 R) k
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally7 k. d# B* {4 e5 P: T" W( I2 N
Activated.'0 D) M* Y3 N7 m- U2 c9 _* {
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
& r E* k6 \' M1 b. Yyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
3 D( M+ C7 T# s3 \, Daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.& V' K0 h+ ^0 s- p
7 d% [3 w" _" p( q& f13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
6 J# x. k; \+ _4 w+ F+ o/ ?lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
( Q# X1 O) C" {1 mblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
