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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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) l2 I/ w& h- V$ C: Q. K& c3 b! ^1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.! o. h( t5 a- r1 S& E
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush$ _3 X( K* b% o) c. m
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
5 S h, n$ V/ z2 A7 d! rmorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,3 Y' O0 \8 q% @# m
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
# l* E* }0 |8 @: Flanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.% t+ e3 w! J7 b! Z9 U0 ^. }/ M
0 D: M9 P, @* \6 S: P4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' A& T; ~7 l0 J9 {2 Wown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ y4 N) k0 O: `0 Y$ G5 ^: f
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& k0 y% v/ L3 @/ Dgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell2 K( @: a7 _0 {: Q/ I
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5 c7 Z: w# R- E, k2 r' S: E5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 P; J1 Q+ D5 L! [' C
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
$ K$ j) @- S* Lget you shot.
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" z4 w8 U! b" T2 g! m" Y1 h7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- F. Y# k8 D7 d8 {& x' Qhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at9 | ~* F* {, ~& I7 U
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
3 g5 F# I0 J t7 ?* P; x! c9 D$ ryou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first0 y% A* h; _8 Z# h. R' w2 W
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour: }7 U5 A2 n7 F& k3 i# y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; }' I/ b+ I2 h% D( n: m/ |* k" g
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and; m8 o( z$ X8 i+ C) W
more construction starts everyday.
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& l. r6 c3 D/ O5 X9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,5 W. b6 _7 S. a1 o2 G8 R8 g
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 V5 u8 X5 @# ~) r! O0 \
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.& N& A- @# L8 X! M
( n: j' T3 ?& x j7 P( Y/ q" \10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same5 p8 I, i+ h: }
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
' _1 r, j8 T2 ]3 S; MRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and" U/ F* p7 w8 \: t" W) ]6 V
66 Street are also the same road; got it?+ A( I2 ]; M' x
w# g9 Y, ?, }0 Y( S5 V11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
- `: c: g% @& y5 Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally3 N2 f, U& X+ ~, }/ `+ s( O# m
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,3 O" \5 y/ g2 q+ e { Y4 E
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
4 y, U6 R! @7 M) E% f: n- z* Haccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: n3 ]2 j+ E' V0 f1 W
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! H# h$ p6 w3 [) qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; ?5 T! r$ B2 K/ Pblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
