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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:+ e$ w& l3 I! P/ f
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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6 B5 X5 F% { F K" m8 z2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
" Q. w/ M% Y1 E; Shour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday h- u6 u/ q& h7 @
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,* v) J. J. e$ J1 U3 i! c: L
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
* c7 v! s. n, j- Slanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 f) x9 c- Q% q9 w1 N: @0 ?4 Town version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
t) e$ X' z9 P; nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
$ Y/ t. `2 x, j0 y/ O, A) ]' g- dgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
2 O' K3 |& C9 C# a, Q( J3 j, D% `; Aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* J( Z# f/ C! t Qcussed out, and possibly shot.3 I* g$ s3 V' K: o/ ~
% u( ]6 W: t* k! {6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
! _2 q: S+ m- i- U' Pget you shot.3 ?+ e9 R7 G& S |5 D% o
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that4 s2 y `. A! K" r/ `0 y/ u+ I
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
0 _% X- @8 f0 W; o+ N dthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
$ z0 X7 {. N1 {' Q( }you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
7 i( @ K- p0 B# Y$ g& Qvehicle through the intersection.
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/ H2 y2 V* h: d6 l* @: h8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour4 j: H3 J/ G$ c" X8 x
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next" P" ]1 m5 a/ s3 _* d% w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 b: y; ]8 u: n0 T6 V. |more construction starts everyday.
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* B1 w& n' @- w& a' g B) n9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
9 T( J/ \! Y3 U8 @2 p: \deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 }8 r3 e, b2 R v
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ u& G c, |- h# `8 u1 G
2 d, S- G; j4 q10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
7 h, Q. ] t E$ T6 Zroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye( |% [( g5 F6 E2 ] b
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and( [/ ]! C# ~! ^: [8 J7 u
66 Street are also the same road; got it?4 X' [. |% @0 X- R) [* M0 B
( ? V; x/ x' o4 ~11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the6 n9 m0 C7 i/ O9 M8 l
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
; b. w7 ~) Z8 A4 s& WActivated.'
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5 a, C0 A, T& a0 e; b12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
: _; B1 h9 K. D& Lyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
$ D6 C3 D7 T) N% x+ a( aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# w6 ~1 Z7 W, A1 }4 M+ `
1 t0 h" L+ } n! V13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur% g U' J) t/ H% f! k- D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 H, X% r! {/ ^- j! I, |
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
