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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:8 T+ X! p4 O6 r. o/ {% K7 H
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
$ o+ y2 D4 b7 Q9 y5 |+ Thour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday' B1 |; T' Q5 s' E. ]0 t" o
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,- e L* V/ o6 u& [- }. b
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
& w# h% g1 o# l1 G- L5 ~6 nlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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7 X/ i7 a) r7 Y4 V; g% Q4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
8 s. K* y; Y5 ]own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% ~( @4 u; ]9 N, r5 ]$ A, t
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. L$ M# g/ k* b0 o0 m0 O: z
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
u3 r0 F* q( K+ o- U2 Wphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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- u& x" D9 n1 U5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& c+ a7 K3 Y2 F% Z% ?, a0 ?' I1 T* Fcussed out, and possibly shot.9 D6 o1 f, `2 F r
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can% B* w% m# `8 m
get you shot.# h7 c9 x$ p9 B. `5 `# N4 h) G1 K
1 ]7 |! _& @ R7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
( e" c4 N, G$ ahas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
' j5 B2 S7 @8 c7 ?+ ^the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot0 G& P5 z# e' L9 o$ f' v7 R" h
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
2 r" b" G6 D0 Q. `# u# c) d& Qvehicle through the intersection.5 g3 [1 u4 e. z+ B9 V0 {1 `
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
0 Q* ?; }% d! t' r- Cbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next$ _8 W w1 [; K( F5 O1 `0 }
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) Z9 f/ A1 t% _5 \# Y
more construction starts everyday.$ E7 M) w J) ^# t# z9 T
. G! A+ h) K! s, J6 K& x O9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
" r4 q8 S5 w: w$ ` e0 ]- Rdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# O) z/ y `$ l) Q4 t
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.0 P+ Q! d+ p9 x0 @
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
* R- H1 i! y9 X6 ~( Y3 t m: Oroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
. O6 ]3 K. l$ Q& O( c" ZRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
- t. Q7 R0 J5 T8 `: ~2 e66 Street are also the same road; got it?; s, C" D6 c7 e) I: d
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 N7 }! J; Y# D* H+ g8 {+ E9 ?
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally9 o ^4 T6 v% D! M
Activated.'+ Q: d) Q$ {. d5 A4 p
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone, z9 V' Y! n$ G
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
0 h K7 T: S4 J2 ]* _; Xaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur, ^6 ]7 b6 `( C+ }& D
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, {+ _4 r$ ^* D: b
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
