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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:; f+ N! K0 U( h) O( ~& j' A( |
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush4 Y3 \" w0 e+ g
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
* ^6 q& t% i, R- a9 d& [you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
0 F6 A3 [/ g$ L2 \/ S6 Wlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.( n$ M. Q2 w3 b3 l# G( V4 Z
8 f' I3 L, o/ K# d S) X4 Y. K4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
# J( y+ s( i4 _* z6 Eown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
+ A/ g+ S! ]5 @9 X6 vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- q5 M2 A* [& D8 R# q
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
, _6 L. r+ ?. I3 n6 uphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.8 P* \: b. U2 d: ?" F
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# B' a$ D8 y& d5 Y" z
cussed out, and possibly shot.6 O$ }5 S. T; s- X- h
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
4 N5 x* A, ] j- Tget you shot.9 G ~; N' f# m& n% y2 a0 j6 q
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that! q* ?. o$ y" v# h4 \/ _+ g4 J8 h
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at; G3 O7 r$ H( b: `
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
+ }& m$ E5 Z) ^& T# h) ~you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first7 `1 R) X; V( \( q+ k, u5 l
vehicle through the intersection.' I# e# s; I/ B& G5 U, m
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour' f$ \/ \8 L3 U8 W
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! e% y3 S' x# M2 D! {: M$ y- v% pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, j& W4 C8 M2 G% ?: D; a7 Umore construction starts everyday.9 V+ E" m) N" f. o
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
& Y3 Y% Y! J9 p) Y n5 mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
2 L+ T2 [# h! u" usquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.1 a& r/ j( H) s' w/ z
l7 c3 I6 Z6 f' C: }10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
/ V# {2 z0 b1 B& L8 Croad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye% A3 G7 S/ o: p' p! @
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and7 i2 F. A4 ?9 o( j+ C+ A
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 I& W2 g7 Z+ o7 `shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally q" h, x( S1 H9 l7 ]
Activated.'
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) B& H$ S6 T- w, r. t! D12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,7 w3 i4 m( Z9 r) [% g. i5 M* O+ }8 a
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
$ t9 D6 Z: J. R- A* `" W/ raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 ~# x) K6 o0 B# Y9 M% [( P
Y, [1 N8 I0 E: x& t13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
+ p0 g8 ?+ V; }4 f/ qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" I4 N: I1 \( b f: x3 i) i, `
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
