ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

) {  V# ^( B8 |/ U1 L  o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning.

& }0 A* R, s5 P6 ]3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
  O4 u" b" N4 D. C) t2 h5 o) qlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

6 Q3 ]$ @. F# }4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* h$ J+ f8 H2 B" b5 p# P( l* yown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
% X, z* x3 s8 N* Z/ }! ], y- E9 Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 p7 h) H1 Y+ u  g3 Ugo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

- ]; Q# A" \1 v- {7 o5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
% q' j1 p0 S0 h6 V! N) }& j! @cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
3 m3 |. Z5 k% c) n  [/ Jthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.
  v+ C) V. _% h3 ^  X4 e" v
- U; G+ a5 m+ U- s+ c& @! W! y8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
/ i% _  ~3 f! y, u9 ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
: I7 ?$ f! y( ^1 G- Uday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( M# M) D- A4 B+ Nmore construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
' S# U6 A8 _6 D+ f; M' ideer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
8 n2 g( m* B; v. S, }squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

% o6 [+ w1 W' O10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

; x4 v6 C% ^+ X11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'

' U( `# ^& }7 l! n  J: ~12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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! y) o/ g1 ]9 X1 z+ v' V13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ o0 a: T# _7 b: U; l2 Blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
# D# @% w6 @5 eblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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6 ]. W- w' x6 W3 x后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。