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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:8 {/ O' T+ v$ U# H
2 k) S( u) y; U: Z# M. z$ z1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.! ]% @2 f8 T1 F+ w
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
1 E9 S. ]! b: b" Ihour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
) J* J1 @1 \8 K, ~ N t% vmorning.
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; b3 L, |8 L) V; _1 ?- c/ }1 c, s3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
8 h) T4 [6 {/ p% I R9 E* ayou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a/ N' ?! f4 m5 C
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.& @1 j; h H1 g6 v
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its% j0 v; S9 R( g S, @" E7 a
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
; P' @% f! h; z0 y2 z5 [/ l9 bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires. E D8 h- n9 ^2 c2 g% q; ]
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
- u* N p i+ u2 `phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way. e" P( `* S: K
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ N) ]9 u6 n( h1 Ucussed out, and possibly shot.9 c% E; o6 B% {% W/ m
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
; k1 T$ W, R, _- v* y7 o: Q( n0 eget you shot.2 g. P) B6 Y" L
/ d9 Y- f: N# F9 q* X7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
: @; w# d9 A; @! ]has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
* J% S' R3 A* q' g" p* z: T; L- Y& Pthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot0 v/ a+ w* I5 Z# O8 n6 L
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
+ a( C1 n. t3 [' s* a: Y kvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
+ X* W5 ~& Z( h1 O- q% bbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# C9 N F1 `" X' t% { v" Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# B$ A- D) _, D* K- Jmore construction starts everyday.* p) z+ P) v& o
0 ~+ F$ `' Y* w% C2 X9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
6 x) p6 f. j3 D, A- @4 Z0 g2 \* t1 fdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, }+ m( h. o( A' W5 f1 s' k. Z; U; Q# d
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
' V7 t8 L! s) d3 T7 j: C7 Lroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
, A( B5 V0 F& @: S7 ERoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and; e8 f$ ]2 j' U# A- T
66 Street are also the same road; got it?6 O- i/ R- Q# K6 d
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ A$ y4 p. [* B" n& r. W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
% _+ n% q/ ]" W- oActivated.'5 `/ p/ o' w$ H6 D1 f. h
: h4 N# j9 g) X) J" a$ B/ R. h12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,6 Y: i8 v6 R L1 o ~$ |- T
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'; n5 s0 [8 h, {
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur5 |+ G: Y( n8 `1 e3 r
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 ~' j4 l6 U) u0 O/ F3 Y
blankets in the vehicle. |
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