ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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/ J! n* _/ t1 T; C3 K1 Y0 Q1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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8 P: o" u& V8 R' @2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
) N: p" c, f7 y9 s8 z+ J+ khour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
6 Z. ?0 O; Z" X1 i1 `morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
( X3 M0 X9 |: `" N. |& Pget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
* L: Y6 e6 `! c+ t. V; }the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
: C( A: g$ e/ nyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
8 B  s$ @0 d  h. `! Z; @vehicle through the intersection.

/ G) e; G+ _8 ]" K$ F6 G8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) ^+ I  h: ~) v5 z) W9 [more construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
+ D# `) c! D0 H( t& p& ^deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 F/ R2 v$ N. c9 \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

/ e7 J# o& I5 j5 O* l  Q  H10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
5 K* `  v- N/ l0 @3 C: l: h3 Nroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' ]/ V. E$ l. @& Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
Activated.'

" x; k$ v8 O: h8 N1 b3 g! {12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
. b, e/ R% q2 y" n& [accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# I$ X- D. j, F  J# plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
& t' P3 c  U* b- Vblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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# e% y% ~' v" R9 s后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
; y9 T/ g! _- W2 X0 k2 ]9 J
, t# ?; ~* G% R  ~it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。