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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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+ y2 j- C9 F9 ?6 _$ s3 R! x/ ~- B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.* L: E( b2 V- b0 n/ P- _/ O, P, b2 h) l
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush& S( A- {) f: X+ `. J8 I6 [5 b! ?5 H* c
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday7 H8 U" n4 z( m% j+ D
morning./ U# s3 ]. O* O7 m6 o" {. [ a
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
4 l+ K& C4 R. g* |; h+ V# X) G# Ayou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
0 a7 q2 a Y v% Q) t/ G+ Dlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.' I& N) {6 r+ N" ]4 j8 p; Z
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 R* T+ A3 }( l0 w. @# N
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: B+ J) j* q7 K0 R
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& Q. U$ G% x9 Xgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
" y/ O: q- ~% q% F' i) b7 s8 qphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.6 i& J7 d, @9 I% A
+ a8 h! B1 i) V% k5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( s+ G/ l& \7 z8 N# U5 S3 B8 T9 F
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
+ u w% y; O) U; Bget you shot.! N" Q; d4 `1 E* j* g
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
) f; ^3 X! L, ?) V( Mhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
* C7 p* V( D) {* k E1 X# @ [6 dthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot4 P$ R4 Z- X5 x$ T# x
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
2 |, |( j7 N6 f$ L5 Pvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour" @5 t2 T. ^ u
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* w- z9 o2 Z5 H7 M- mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and' p1 o+ {% |; F* g; ?/ V* D; ^# T
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
) V% s3 h6 r5 k0 Ldeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 S6 O) ?& e U- z; csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
8 K3 Y5 r$ \3 a3 Uroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
/ P. d, d7 a8 RRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
; T0 @. g0 s5 J3 Q5 w6 r66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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) U) {6 j4 y; o+ K* j# U11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the N3 [* R& g( N
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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% S0 a7 f8 I E12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,2 X; z" `* _; N9 }. f0 z, n. x+ S0 h
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'4 R4 I/ N X7 l; {4 I
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ c* ?: P. t$ ?$ A: \0 [
* B/ X# E7 G5 i5 v/ v; o* G0 o t0 [1 i13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
i) T8 K1 ^2 t( h. V& @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
a- j# P9 X+ z7 X3 c2 l+ u% C) Cblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
