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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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/ G n8 W+ W; D: m$ G5 V2 p6 h* C1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush6 G: s) Q9 ^, R0 q( g- ?) ~
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday6 @; M/ u. t* G; |
morning.
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/ W: E* y: f7 a7 j: A1 n' v; w0 l _3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
- Q! n4 t' L1 q* yyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
% g& b# k6 ?- e ~# ?/ R1 X4 Z7 ^landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.# z* G% u. V. ~
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. i3 H; o# f' n) P
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
7 a+ _1 k8 Y v) P# k( P$ t' lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires) d0 S: {8 l1 J8 w& X
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell( G4 u5 @) o1 W5 o4 ?/ S! m
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 \6 |" T0 t5 I
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 u! d8 ` g- C. M! D1 Y, K7 q6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
0 J0 F; ]4 j' T1 v' eget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
. p x4 c: |' k6 Ghas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at$ E) G9 ^' m+ X# v! f/ b
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
- S9 ~+ x+ s8 M% u/ m1 d5 \9 zyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
( z5 A- I- Z1 A1 E1 lvehicle through the intersection.
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& b3 k! H5 A0 A! n$ p8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour+ u& {9 H" _! {' F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( m7 _ |9 y9 ?2 R* w/ Pday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% \4 a; h7 [5 F9 z3 x# A
more construction starts everyday.1 \ d0 K( o7 q! r$ ~* V/ a( t0 G% L
1 u% o0 I+ j9 ?. o0 Y) C( b$ \" r8 i9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
* a7 ~% D9 J# p! b9 kdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ k9 N+ K2 v, w. E. f
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ P# v+ U# j: A! P
1 y& Y; @0 a* }3 M10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
% ^( ~* S2 J; r# B, J, |road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
. e, k! g, I& {Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and w, [* u3 N9 Z" u0 G0 z7 ?: o
66 Street are also the same road; got it?( S( `0 F" P' Q2 w& b" F* t! Z
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the4 C7 r! _: C* T: w
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,0 z0 g2 g% E( r2 P) N8 d; x
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'9 ?+ @# n4 ~( K C" U8 X' e9 R; _
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! B: `( @; o) }( H4 v
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' Z" X, h; X/ H- x1 l% k+ Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ p7 Z, v0 x% Lblankets in the vehicle. |
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