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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.0 J/ K' G4 x* } N( Z, u
$ u" h/ n% c6 Z9 q; {2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
`* P! {: B) b7 [2 H) _* `hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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! _9 z! j7 q% J- J6 X# P3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
: p! J% V$ P. W- |& G& d- ~6 }you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
' R3 L7 A4 z8 r8 E, ~4 Ulanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.* N" K2 _. }1 H( Y
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 [- P$ f# }+ J7 w" ~/ D8 |own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
6 V/ O" n; O5 E! amuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 }0 Q6 L: p& H X/ c/ x" dgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell" {/ i7 G8 [7 @. a# s8 i+ x+ Z! K
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.7 ]+ L& a2 {& u" D4 v' c' k
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,0 V' Z4 L: W: M% h
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can0 t, P9 U0 F/ w f/ p: c
get you shot.
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' U( k! }# n' R8 v; j9 |& e# \0 ^7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that( Y) @& Z3 a4 N8 _6 c
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
9 K+ n. m G5 T+ }/ s: E* c& z2 Fthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
9 V v5 k. v- |2 p+ K! Q8 |you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first0 V, B" l& Y4 N) {& m% j% |
vehicle through the intersection." H4 }6 T5 A+ u A1 o0 O: F
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
1 ?! ~- Q3 Z6 _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 a" o9 E+ d; ^; `$ v H! Jday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and" L# A( e5 @- g' x* I
more construction starts everyday.& U/ ~9 O3 y2 P9 h- s! s k' d9 t
# R6 J F: k' j5 P- c5 A9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,1 f$ [; W: p) `' Q+ j- N8 g! M) t
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# N7 E. m' M2 O4 Q) ?
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items., w; D1 \# _, K3 |) ?( F
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same' d0 K2 L$ o9 S
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
8 E5 q$ H1 |( w0 t4 o RRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and9 [) }2 T1 @: t+ U, q
66 Street are also the same road; got it?0 a5 F; ~1 U) b: M4 H
" u! H* w& P/ X* D" C11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 o% L% ?3 k W: I/ ?
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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; D7 o8 n9 U8 s$ [) E12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
/ O3 S9 m- ^1 ]1 t) @you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
( G" b$ O. Y/ ]% j) Gaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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9 L! R* Z" y8 a/ K5 {13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur6 Q% g9 Z4 y& z, C6 ~
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ e1 v, v! H0 V; c" |
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
