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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:/ G# H' a" w C, j6 \
7 k& }. o+ m/ q, A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
+ c7 v$ H4 ]' w+ R( Y. Chour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday3 A5 b) q# ?1 f$ {. W- b* n! E
morning.$ ? K/ x; l) b3 q7 J
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
# a8 h5 ^+ Z, Gyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, p* S" G9 a t) g* S/ |landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its( d I$ G$ _2 T( Z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* @/ {# V, e9 \2 \- S4 fmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires7 O O ~6 y* y' F; C
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell7 ]) ?' V. ^. u5 U* U5 r8 w8 L. a
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 S6 o Q4 u: B) t
( s4 B ^7 ~* F+ [; [3 A: S+ r) |3 c5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& y; }$ M" [8 W8 R! }cussed out, and possibly shot.
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3 f' f3 A8 b) d3 U, ^6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can3 h. q: v; ?' _9 `, O# C( D
get you shot.' Q" ~% Y; M8 y9 U) G
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
4 u d& v6 V" J3 d% Nhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at1 `5 r2 i; c, [6 g4 S* y: W% k% d
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
" a3 t# ?' Q9 Z& q( k0 l6 D% Vyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first) f+ c1 D" G8 |
vehicle through the intersection.. u& l F9 q) G4 m8 C. E ?! g% q
' N, c1 z7 o+ d# G i( L8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour+ }+ }6 b+ Z5 e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next# t5 @! _3 r, ~" y. a# {
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
+ V# w C' l, \more construction starts everyday.7 T% B \/ [9 T. R+ ^' g8 i* s6 B0 _
: g( R( h v* w$ F& m! D9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
6 o8 ?% [7 [- ?& C4 hdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
* Y) _9 [/ H1 T4 m8 tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same% Z% ^( c8 L1 z+ y6 f# d
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
/ D9 _3 ~& l# d0 H' r. Q# DRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and& ~; ]6 M% {3 L+ W/ a% }, G+ \7 C( W4 ]
66 Street are also the same road; got it?: J" w, t% |7 M0 ?& O
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) E( A: J T. Q
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally2 L9 L. U X# F4 W9 P
Activated.'5 I5 S" o K$ a+ l ?, Y
' L, ]* A. ?; S7 q12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
p, N" ^" Q. C$ Myou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
, `- _8 n' {! X# ^! Jaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ d0 @! R4 V. a4 L
6 I; U- {4 ^# {1 Z; T13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% w% i& i+ @ D) o/ ~lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! V! ?: H% P7 G7 ?$ \" W/ ]- ~' fblankets in the vehicle. |
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