ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

4 S8 R; Y# P4 u  K8 s, A1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

. ]; X- B/ a' s3 _8 k6 W, d; X2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
+ P4 x4 d& L# a& e# Y+ S, b8 Lmorning.
8 u7 z; l( N/ ~: P" E
2 I0 o5 m) _9 {$ \$ Y0 d8 t1 F3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
+ ]1 E6 @2 i7 {; t4 d$ ]" ~* lyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

$ x9 W* P5 G+ p$ f/ q- H4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
3 J- C& b; I3 t- d3 _, [% {own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: p$ S2 c4 k: D# f6 m) k% ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
; J( Z  }! U+ f. Pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
: s4 K& ~& }6 ^% T5 P( q
: S4 y$ E3 m5 D. }/ i& w0 W5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
  m8 G+ K  S$ y$ i+ scussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
, X  ]- \6 q- Z7 U2 ~/ V& xget you shot.

7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
/ T- O7 E$ ]7 u' _. C5 `. shas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
" A7 w/ Y) w9 u- g( Bthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
" a4 \8 u2 P: v( V. _: @8 @vehicle through the intersection.

7 ]% s- e  ?  e2 }8 d8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# S  ]; L4 K( `' g& m; O$ x: ]more construction starts everyday.
. }+ H" M: b! j4 P
9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
3 l. j3 ]9 F- k- ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
: `- L+ @5 q% [! l: s4 S% A66 Street are also the same road; got it?
* T' t, ~) ^- }, I" y) [2 n0 ~- T
4 A% L# r, s2 G11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
. T# g" M6 T  f3 \8 \8 G$ _shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
4 j- Y; x- M$ V& d: ZActivated.'
3 n% V6 ~7 h' c& v8 b
; s1 n6 _4 v4 [' C1 e3 M; @6 @12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

& m6 g/ @; A& |" S! X4 K" Q( m13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 x7 ~. A& q* i6 l: X# yblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
, R1 D! e$ X" t( x  V" f3 {2 M
后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
+ b# U/ G  y. a( P
+ V8 C& B/ ~6 z  W$ f3 l$ hit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。