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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:+ K' n5 ` e' N3 o3 P
/ W6 }4 e. P* }0 q: t2 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
- N h9 z: Z( @hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday% B/ Z7 k+ E1 h' H
morning.
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+ h5 b4 c% ?" v5 D& D3 \5 c5 q: r3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,7 w x2 Z5 R( a5 L
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
7 H* _8 a& `* ulanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.( {* H8 ~/ r, s0 w* M% N, Z- h4 A
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- k. X8 \/ Z( W* x2 q* Pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. y0 Z2 y% k4 s! C3 x
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
# y" Q/ l- s( f( b6 f8 rgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
+ a+ d; t1 z4 g4 }phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
7 a5 |! l% o5 w/ Ocussed out, and possibly shot.& V8 J1 q2 l: T* M0 s+ g' n
& c) W N8 m* l0 k" Z$ o& j6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can# T/ m! S, \+ h, y: I' H6 Z
get you shot., J2 } W W, ]0 G: G. C
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
! K# {0 o) A2 m3 Q1 f, ]has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
3 I& S- N' w- y7 C9 \( _the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
7 ?# w- G3 m U7 q' z0 Yyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first4 i. U+ O: z$ z" i2 q. r0 l. C: L
vehicle through the intersection.
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2 `$ q6 L; Z# ]: w8 _8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
6 V6 Z8 t: |! B4 obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
9 _2 ~- ^$ i+ \0 o. r; Cday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" T, }/ j' c5 r) I0 w1 J3 Mmore construction starts everyday./ s$ f2 F2 q7 h8 A( `
& o2 g4 k' R, E/ J$ T! M9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,2 Q1 V+ C+ Q" i! _5 X& G3 s
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,2 \/ v( P9 T3 [( J6 x, ?: m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.! p7 s) {; P; |
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
3 _: E& y9 v+ Q; U& v1 ?road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
; Q" s" I( y. x( QRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
% [- O9 e+ g% D66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* F5 I$ H+ H2 T: d" C1 z- b" y
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
& }& ~7 j4 C8 h) [Activated.'
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9 c9 O, g$ k: O+ ^6 ~. G12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
) b! S+ ~* i( X, qyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'& k6 q8 S2 u; v0 |# \
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 M M- k0 c+ P% s; X0 Glined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
9 [! b3 G0 ~0 ^8 H+ X8 L. K& ]blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
