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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:6 L7 T, {( i7 e' \. p- l0 Y
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
: ^ M. P5 h4 b% O4 O+ vhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
: C5 d/ N$ L+ a- a8 qmorning.
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: e0 F1 F& p1 F& L1 Y: b- z1 `5 q3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
2 L3 @+ n) p. v( i4 l' f2 cyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
) ^4 w' Q) [1 k1 o6 z# P& h4 f5 Jlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its- I, U' p1 ^6 C8 v9 |2 G
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, `1 T4 |* C& y: Emuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
K V' b( Q6 U0 ]6 d- E8 [go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
% a5 m# { z7 Y' i% F0 E. Cphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.3 ?9 R- F! P" b* ^& W
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
9 z! ?9 t3 C b3 I- Ycussed out, and possibly shot.
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7 a" g2 c% }+ y. F- t ?2 t8 D; C6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can5 V j/ Y+ x, {7 a
get you shot." p. ~' b) J7 h% I# N2 B
' r2 q9 R2 [( W7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that( q; M4 \% ]/ m; G& w
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at6 P2 [5 R; v( [+ b
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot# B" q2 D- C9 ]* ^8 `
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first' j- o( R5 e# |) v% K9 Q" E
vehicle through the intersection.
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: T& c7 c8 g( v+ }8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
0 l7 h" @+ |* ?+ ~3 qbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- I8 @: S) s$ X' B. M
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
" @& r* L8 G+ S$ U2 Smore construction starts everyday.8 O7 w4 d- n( M# j) V
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,+ k: F6 H' R( ~/ D+ o5 {
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,# o0 B, [. s! E8 D6 W/ Q; ]
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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^' X) h2 ~1 V6 [$ g+ n+ g0 r10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same9 e4 c( F$ o) P' M5 z4 e
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye& e6 q6 o7 l; s* u0 E8 s4 I
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and# t. r: {* w0 G3 ~7 A* y
66 Street are also the same road; got it?3 w9 M4 y2 v5 z
, F+ y9 J5 x' Q/ c2 x4 |11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
& @/ E: ]! T! J$ z& jshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
) ]$ q" U6 ?4 cActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone," ?5 u( M" P& ^+ f$ K: @, D4 L3 }
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'# M( w0 Q" v/ t J5 t: l
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., W7 Z% F' Z& H: u' @* C8 y
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
' y. C, S, v; s! v" g% xlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 g3 f! R% u J/ g8 y/ \: b* d
blankets in the vehicle. |
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