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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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0 B: [+ G0 c- n/ K1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush# ~* R0 ^- M8 t% ], ?8 J1 E7 B. r
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
& I& G" e3 V, l$ ?; D2 ^2 r [morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,9 @' _$ c- W5 B9 y) T
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a/ s9 T& ]; ?- i& m/ t
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.* R1 D' f! @5 L7 n
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. M) ]2 y7 [# F- g
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ d6 x+ X/ W! P- @5 Gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires3 O R3 P/ h7 k( M8 x5 Y' }4 L
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
+ [- N' B* g$ c& H# Ephone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* m9 v5 |; ~. N5 X+ L- Y
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended," j( g7 ~. v- a3 ?- f+ j
cussed out, and possibly shot.$ k' |7 [ _! f5 Y
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
, R3 J( U# ~6 J9 y: }get you shot.1 l7 ?$ p! `2 \+ \ v
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
- c% ~, W8 r; }! ]8 z- y) Ghas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at3 J$ [! R1 L) X/ @6 P
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
* M% a+ @: h2 F6 ayou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
' }+ g- U! c8 avehicle through the intersection.. N# H* E ~) }6 x8 V2 L
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour( r6 \- q/ n) o- @0 V, B
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 p! w$ }4 d" Y# L! e2 O" Tday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- z f. e3 p" k6 p
more construction starts everyday., [6 |4 F2 S8 ^1 ?# d# c1 z7 U
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,* m& q! G3 l% A( ~% |1 K
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% Z8 n* R+ ]4 ]( t- j5 zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
, X' f9 X1 }* K3 u' ^% x: uroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
# E5 u7 b3 z* U' u3 ?* w9 H; V& zRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and, Y5 ?8 M2 q' J1 P- v0 `
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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% ~3 l! g8 y( z/ {+ C/ S0 r4 H11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
5 \8 J' f y( Q9 Z q fshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally# I. Z4 Q+ }$ b8 R
Activated.'
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1 E# R# p5 H3 U$ a9 y12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
8 b# L, E2 J( ]+ K# Vyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off', b: V0 d$ N, C( L* \
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.5 {# } z1 _6 x9 ~1 R& c- l. q
0 E/ z! U& w6 O9 _13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# a$ V1 s6 T! \# F& O! Ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ t2 t7 n) c0 R3 O# F1 Pblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
