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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:0 S4 ]3 c& e; P) N* C
' m D8 A- P8 k& J' E' Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.) R5 \$ e( C- s* ~. s( s3 {
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
6 C `* Q, S8 q# \hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday1 g% P" s3 n" X) ~1 D) p) v# d
morning.
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5 t( B2 {9 |1 y( T/ F5 _# `3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,) Q+ a. T( Q( {- P/ J; M3 ~8 i
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
2 g5 ]$ T- i0 e# k2 k- alanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 W- T# O! ^7 M6 ]3 l; k
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest8 _9 {- T: N! u/ {: D: d3 Z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
+ }$ ^' Z0 b! L/ g5 i$ V: Cgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
: r* o; b! r9 _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ O1 P) u6 X4 M# ]
( d. ]7 E0 p! {5 Q; J0 q+ T3 j5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, t7 t% @9 n/ o! Vcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
1 Y+ Y$ {5 |3 U! ~9 sget you shot.# x% j2 I# ]0 z, _( l N
9 ]! L+ |/ V# y% x7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that, q6 b: K. `2 @, E6 t
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at! D T4 G1 \4 |2 \/ N) B! s
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
1 J$ ^3 \. |0 M1 i/ c7 F2 d- {you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first2 p# V: T/ D' g7 Y0 p* n( N
vehicle through the intersection.( h# W- J4 Q* {( I6 f
8 [) t# L5 r2 q" Q3 s8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour/ T; K1 r9 t5 z6 t4 Q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next! S V. n& B9 v0 v
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
& `9 q ?& h& `- bmore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
! H* M# z( {% y- n' @/ z/ C! W* hdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,* X/ K3 s. Q% w8 v, z) r
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same" S g7 @ l/ u+ b
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye% O0 @6 @2 w2 W; ?
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and, F' g9 _5 @! v6 a6 b2 Z# E
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ L1 y4 y6 e) V D; @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally$ |+ T0 ^* z9 j( k; U5 T% K4 r
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
* ]9 ?+ X3 `1 iyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
" X: |2 A2 k' ^! C4 A/ daccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.: \) R: q5 F6 }: ]- Y. `' M4 z2 C4 `4 c
; t+ U* X- z1 b& F; r0 n( g7 G. ~13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur0 e6 B% w2 Y( k; q0 [5 h
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and2 J, }' o7 Z$ E2 i7 I- L
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
