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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:& N! @! l. C, U# M" G: e# s& g
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.3 l; s1 J# f/ L! w6 g6 z$ g9 h; q
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush, J* R6 C3 B" Q2 J+ S- F) X
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday4 n+ D! [: n* T# n$ Y
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
f( u$ R$ z+ D# D- [# eyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
0 h" p6 @- x# D% klanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.9 F5 S; l. s2 g# K0 s; }) }0 w) }# f9 a
& l0 r' R2 U" z5 U" V; w4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
0 p9 D! k' \9 P/ n5 g3 down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest; N8 K; d( j) s
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" C8 [( |7 V N& J
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell( L% x3 \1 B+ }% L. e( `1 W: B: i
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ b& K; _ K; @ ]
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
' a: r3 C- Z1 F- Qcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
/ f0 C' {0 y$ Lget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that5 r' z8 _& |" I9 Y0 ]4 M4 g
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at3 q9 z9 J$ M) Q+ |1 }
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
5 _0 ]& Z2 P7 q& E* A0 ]! @you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first7 p7 y* X$ j, D# l( q
vehicle through the intersection. Q: ?, r* b$ P0 M2 I Y4 M, V
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
0 I$ Y3 T: ]$ t; abarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
% p J8 X: B/ |; _/ l! _ p, h% f; ~day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% X+ v3 C/ o2 B, Zmore construction starts everyday. H/ n# W \! x) L9 R
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,4 y4 m, X! r: z
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,% [& F* U7 _% }/ X; I
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." }4 V/ |+ D1 ]4 o- P
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same7 z0 ]* S2 N* h" m, S/ C( a* o6 W
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
: O0 @% I" H7 G& g* k" WRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
, `4 ]9 g% K2 b- I66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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9 V- O$ z* g: m) b6 V11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
1 T! [% F* p0 p6 M( K6 ]shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
, d8 \/ G8 Y, z& P' @% jActivated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,2 O, V) {; q, E- E* z
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'+ G% V6 a. ^; x/ T9 y6 [( H( [
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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( y; d/ k3 N7 G' g7 g' d( g13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 _) N4 _1 f) B% J
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- w" V$ @, r- s- w' ^blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
