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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:; U6 @( {6 V& Z& Q1 t
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.5 t2 z% E0 C _1 _. g: U
+ ~+ H4 U1 b0 D2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush$ }1 }( x' y5 n. [
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday! |3 y% U* v3 u* |+ ^- d
morning.: o* v7 P& e& c4 _; _' f1 Z7 c
% V& ]* l+ X! r, k' E8 y, u3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,! A: @8 \# W& }. y l7 `
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, m0 b4 l% K& A5 s8 Elanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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, t5 W. e- t* r4 x# D4 q- q4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its1 s1 H: o$ g6 `3 w1 t
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" [! H/ Q9 C; v ^/ l0 Nmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires0 y/ {0 w& d7 S2 g0 K
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell: ? c1 N0 c- e
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
# |4 @$ ]8 |) {% w5 Xcussed out, and possibly shot.3 f) c( Z q' p
1 U& l- F0 e& Y6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can- e. k4 v6 H7 ~: d9 z
get you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that# R9 R9 @) q/ x6 [& `) F! z+ e
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at* Y1 l0 B4 |5 v
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
W. o$ F* D7 U) b/ eyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
' [- U- C, W7 a) C$ svehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
( T1 R; N% Y* zbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
1 x: Y- q3 N* u. b* sday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) S% W0 n% {- R* Pmore construction starts everyday.
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( j- F2 M/ e* s$ I9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
8 U. F5 i5 G+ q; V' @' jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,5 p/ q" p6 w* M2 n; e+ u: M5 m
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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( ^) a' x+ A: [' l; o" O10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
3 v$ C/ x, y6 [7 Sroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
; z- ~! Y, R. R( {Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and$ G+ m" P& y9 h9 `3 m; j& R6 h
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" P) K9 r o! jshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally5 X2 Y' i7 I Z( B% _0 y
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
0 k# d5 w0 e( {4 N' U$ uyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'3 E. o+ w. p) N3 j" R' A
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.7 m, K6 H1 f+ B/ i% W7 ] N
* Z; {. h4 f$ S; `: E13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur m/ J+ n# x/ q
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and2 t, M9 T+ s2 @% e8 R
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
