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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:$ c* a" V: b% z( u
9 ], I+ G. v" `; \$ F6 s1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.5 O' ^0 f& l9 O( j
; l; A) s9 K: K% ]6 |0 `2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
, b% v0 Z7 A0 x1 g# qhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
$ S2 [; X! p( g( s, k6 a! kmorning.
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% a! u# N# [) E# r/ @% I3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,) l8 o% _" K, q$ _2 g
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
9 d+ [( [2 M% N f0 blanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.! c- V+ r5 ? T- k
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its, f. C- V4 N6 N$ ]
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest' s+ q# R1 J8 r( W: X9 N( V6 e
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
% ~' w. M0 L* X" rgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
; g$ r$ z( E- g6 R& hphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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1 a F% U5 {7 z4 O5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: ~' ^; K6 @4 m5 j" Icussed out, and possibly shot. B# N* m) q6 `# h
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can* W* X0 M9 a0 e' Z! R% `- b6 ~
get you shot.
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. I& ?! w! ]5 C) m- r7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
7 P8 O% f" k; B- T' F! c. M& |has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
( N; D9 X! y) }/ s& ?the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
: c7 |6 n* I8 Z B. |3 Byou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
& @$ t( g: }( o; s# Q( cvehicle through the intersection.
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% f) R' F8 ~8 ]' R- M7 h8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour; x, [! b% U* V; }* T4 O- e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
3 ]" ~/ I: r' w- yday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
1 D6 n( F- Q3 @3 V0 g/ a# @9 Amore construction starts everyday.
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( j- T1 j3 V2 W$ K9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
' D/ Z; X3 S' o5 N! a% q3 o8 c" ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 F7 s3 \. V# _; E: v) E1 nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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0 T( l1 [# I" Y( \( X1 b! `$ D10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
4 V# U$ ^* M: r4 ~* u9 K# B7 vroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
+ C# C' R" Z) t8 ?1 sRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and' I; G4 U4 Y* F- U& x1 @
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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$ U" O- x7 i3 e11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
; i( d2 o3 g8 A! h5 o* a' Y7 p. L' j! Hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally. Z% o* ]7 P9 C% r5 h+ S1 b
Activated.'3 k# f/ ^! ]6 K8 N% | d, @1 O
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
Y% G, U# v$ c! S& c% Pyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'9 d# ]% M) i- _& [0 ^2 Q: F1 B
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ g/ g5 M$ b# u. U. o k, i+ qlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 w% k8 @2 w y3 n3 U! b# Y
blankets in the vehicle. |
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