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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:& y0 Q" w' B/ [# T9 D
# y1 n! j) R6 E! m0 I" m1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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% o! O6 O6 |" V8 k+ |' ?! c5 M2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
* s" V$ g' K# h( C* R, Fhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
2 K- Y) V# Z) A# {morning.
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5 \9 V, p- P' D3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
# x! J( L% p* }& vyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, v) J/ V- O; ilanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.( P* |6 @+ _1 @
. n+ X1 Z! P+ x( N) T4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 _5 i0 p6 s! m- Lown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ o) h. h6 r9 ?$ M
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
* u2 T. b" u1 X* z ugo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell& @1 V) E) Q j; x9 M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
+ @# b! ~- P, z3 c# zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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1 @0 q1 B$ p+ h5 y) T6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
1 o- e1 `, M3 e: |' S( x0 Y3 Eget you shot.* N+ ~1 W! `0 Y+ ~5 L+ X5 _
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
5 R* F, e) _3 z+ l* t' {2 Mhas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
* N3 F2 o: u* F6 u+ S0 cthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
+ O; E2 T- P9 {you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
5 s1 k6 J/ p1 c0 |+ ~vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
- Q# Z# ^" e4 J, \% dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
5 ^% o& V5 b7 z* T- n) R+ p, ~4 _day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and* s, K* r7 t( ^
more construction starts everyday., o0 a/ P: O; u% I
" V3 q. ^2 b" ~; h0 }9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
, v. D, `7 `8 Tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
) Q8 z" N& l7 n! l! k$ csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.+ S& g6 [5 Y4 T. i, n3 A: e8 d
4 ~& o. ~( {; T# n10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same- l! Q2 ?3 ]7 u7 x g8 }& D
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye6 G3 L# `# {# J9 {
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
* G$ x; i0 F! l- n+ k9 _7 v66 Street are also the same road; got it?& s+ b; ]" Z/ ~0 @: }
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
" R5 S: E1 W a! wshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally7 y' D& H m4 P& J2 B3 y
Activated.'2 M3 g8 t& S" ~: Q9 k3 v
; F3 z. G. t1 q: V12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
8 R r5 z1 p' M5 j. K, A+ y5 Myou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'' ^- Y5 E+ r) Z/ V7 ?
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# R& }9 H" t' O! n/ r: q5 v
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# `3 r6 e5 k' U2 L& Ylined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 j6 s7 T' Y+ M y" N M% i
blankets in the vehicle. |
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