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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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j# R6 L9 w% A# r1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
2 `8 s6 j* e: N. ], Y5 e$ lhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday- ]" g3 o* c3 ~, H
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
; `2 ]3 b; T6 G( ?$ myou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a0 @3 H+ e/ a! s/ h
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'./ F& d$ m) r6 p6 @) }; J
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- [% R' a9 r: y' f! J' _. J4 u! @own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* ~4 i+ a1 C6 a! Z& Wmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- C. `. @1 R4 S4 Q4 P" Ngo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
1 F: ~3 X+ u+ a! rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.5 g5 T2 x! o% N6 V% \. Z
5 h5 e& X0 O, H5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,( r$ V' I* M9 o& ]
cussed out, and possibly shot.; K% ?5 a4 ^! ?0 M4 ?
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can( C4 Q$ z" q; U3 V o
get you shot.
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# s! [) e( i+ k( U7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
: a6 T8 ~$ T; o9 N! `+ @has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, l9 N" I- s) y' {/ s3 Pthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
$ Z- u1 |2 s9 syou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first5 K w6 C* K. i# l
vehicle through the intersection.
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% N U0 i" z4 X0 X$ u. N9 b8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour/ a# g5 o d; f
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 ]; o- B; V! f
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and( `4 F* C# ~/ g/ c: ?# v) }5 U$ @
more construction starts everyday.
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* q! z0 u7 N$ A5 Z. a) q& Y5 O9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,& ~2 K0 B' j' Y9 n9 Z, }( |
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) D9 F4 I( e0 z' H
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- N9 r. \0 Q b
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same7 j% A3 g: K4 v, H
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
- ~6 l$ `, E% K( J$ n1 i2 [Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and6 X ]+ s1 L3 g) d5 k
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the* V" a! c; D! e% ]3 F. \# Z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally2 `. e3 w$ m1 R* @- c
Activated.'
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" ^5 I: D4 J! g$ P0 ?' m12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
1 w8 m0 z B& j5 I7 w C E myou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
* u0 u' P7 I' z& A, q0 taccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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1 o) s9 v9 F% g& n13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur) B9 h: k* o, ?
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 v/ `4 }1 `% p0 E8 G2 Vblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
