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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:- _2 U. _, M5 ^: g. ~9 U" T
! z! b/ z Q, l. I% x: Y1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'." V% @/ V( r4 G( y' q
6 y6 i& D/ {" Q& V9 p! F# ~* N; O. J2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush/ o* }3 E5 @$ T- V3 I0 S- j
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday6 o' Q0 s+ H2 c9 _8 n; G! Y
morning.
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7 J4 t+ p! F, U' ^7 s" r3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,1 U6 v" c) s+ G2 H p: h0 ?
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
) k. w+ Z+ O0 {9 ^; Ylanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.5 {4 d1 z% `1 v, Y w) x& K
4 I" H! i8 ^8 y9 H( {5 E4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 I- j. ?3 m9 Z" l7 y" Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest$ b+ B7 H5 r" \+ P$ _
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, ]+ O/ g% d6 u( C" R# _/ |go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
\$ m5 t& U6 Y4 E8 gphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,- D T3 Q$ g& V- \* _) q( D$ m6 ]
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can# s4 l, K8 E( v: M6 J
get you shot.
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. U$ B u; }% g1 J* e# g! O# |9 C1 u7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
d* ?) B! _- Ahas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at& Y0 b- T6 f+ t+ I7 \
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot0 X! j* y" Y; V( B$ {# U% U T
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
Y% g! N# m8 n( T- g4 X7 K: ^6 i- Avehicle through the intersection.1 n4 T) s+ L% y3 ]) i
5 B4 X+ o4 H2 G( y, K8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour. s# F- ~0 s: _+ V b1 D }
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# P; {$ X3 R( y5 T, Aday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% g5 t! d* Z9 g' R, d/ v
more construction starts everyday.8 Y! T; ~9 V/ W) x$ Z' `/ T3 a4 d
+ ~5 x7 M! a3 d) a7 ]# l
9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
$ H: Q) K6 L! ], R* Jdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
, a+ k5 o: j. M8 r E5 I/ K( @squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." b9 \* [/ s6 z3 L) v% l% ~
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
( Q/ r: S) s5 `" ?7 P/ g* sroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye" W* i7 I# |) _" F7 f
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and* @$ E( K; w! [2 q8 t6 U' {
66 Street are also the same road; got it?) c; t) u. r4 P7 c/ I+ H6 G0 v
6 t& X( Y1 o1 `/ t! t11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; B( d) ?) z4 e+ ~1 m
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
{; i A) Y) M0 a" Kyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'; P" H" r: s7 s2 a- X" d
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ `8 Z4 W' |5 Q! _13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 `# \* w9 }3 S6 ]. q4 r$ y
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 A5 P2 k$ l. c' @& dblankets in the vehicle. |
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