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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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# I& E1 c' J& R- ]% C; e1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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5 w3 [4 ~* u( h% s2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush3 O# c' ^' B& M2 e, n C
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday$ N' h( u1 q$ g* K& G5 M
morning.* C" P7 Z* J/ u, D% J& E
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
( F2 o" O& v; h9 {. `you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
- ~& a. ?) _2 N7 g9 S/ xlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.9 E5 D6 `: v4 D5 h2 ?# K! o
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 x& F3 L$ E' a2 n
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest d: l ^; `& s' ?& g
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires: Z! x# N2 s# M o" J
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
4 Z6 x9 ?9 q. o1 @- p2 {phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ P. u) @4 c7 I3 ^5 W3 [3 P5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ b0 b: b9 M# j5 k6 z% }4 Xcussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can* i; E0 O# \, ~
get you shot.1 e- t5 R* c- I9 l' M' S
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that' c( I& D7 Y. }3 t3 w, w7 C! p
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at; Z$ E) D4 `0 \8 n5 g
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot; a" D8 P3 N8 S/ a8 b
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
4 k0 ~& R2 c4 J9 c. X1 Pvehicle through the intersection.( G8 e C: p- a& ^/ `2 W! @3 ~
1 x7 w* p6 J9 v9 w; I2 Q8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
2 f9 o# T g$ I( i- X: e) _barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( ~( m9 d$ u1 M
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and O/ W+ P! g. H# F" P
more construction starts everyday.8 Z+ U4 A8 x$ m0 |) \1 c& Z. a
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,: A p4 H0 r' R- u+ C. \- G
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) d' D) G3 [9 k
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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2 p0 I$ w2 j2 y/ l I10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same8 A: |$ l7 p; Z9 K& ~' t
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
H9 S w: b6 `9 z7 wRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
3 `$ W4 n+ j% l5 l) I+ n$ n66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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7 U+ s2 n; ?1 J11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the- D" ]& G9 m# t8 i1 e2 o! P E' E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally* h9 A# b$ s5 H* ]" }" C; q
Activated.'" S7 P% S1 g, i! b- x' p- f v
( f' F! n, q0 K3 A! P2 V12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
6 i# O% q9 I. Q3 {) D: ?8 T2 [you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
6 \9 |$ ]" j2 j$ E# V, Faccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.9 ^1 r; I Y9 B5 k( _6 A
* e5 h5 j+ _9 D5 @13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur L0 t% A* o( l$ K5 P
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 F5 ~ I( Y8 Z/ j2 V2 p5 iblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
