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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:. ]/ N' F6 J4 t$ V, M0 }
; @& q& q2 c: h- z6 o) x! o B1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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Q4 a( ]: l/ v& r, H* }2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
3 l+ _- o1 ~" W! P& ahour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday* Y; Y) X* E2 B
morning.
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! S5 {- c; L& x# I1 F% m; W3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
" Q" L3 I# a \; n+ E" n; a1 [you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a. J* a) _+ [# y- d
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.* T: s. k* \( J- ^
& I0 p4 ]# m: Q% q! G4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
1 [7 N {4 Y$ ]' Z; Bown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest1 b1 @- A/ u) w' m5 n
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
- n! C( g9 a6 F, @/ i: Jgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
: i4 t' J4 o" i7 g& lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.$ i( l1 ~, q3 f
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 V3 S+ }: W: T) u8 M! d' J ucussed out, and possibly shot.& S0 k4 j$ {5 t3 P4 p3 P% W6 T
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
' C: ]+ H: l0 s8 oget you shot.
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" m' t; l5 h/ X# N2 j; n8 _7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that5 u$ ?8 y! C; x- Y
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
$ Q6 m. j9 o; C5 [& tthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot0 C' j, Z3 O# _1 Z* P
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first; D4 E; q3 Y) U) E) E
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour$ U7 X& @' F O1 Y
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 c8 O' ] X- y& Q6 a8 Q
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 D7 @& w# d4 z& F: \0 L4 u
more construction starts everyday.0 H5 a# M& f, W/ @) O
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
* @! v+ ]; g: {' H/ x! G5 H' g- ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
+ Y0 q- l" I) i. p0 i8 nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same- N/ k4 T+ X7 A/ {" I
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye; o7 R3 O$ m5 F% K. @1 ]* x
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
3 l* O0 V8 e7 c4 s0 A66 Street are also the same road; got it?5 S$ O6 S+ M: P
8 o/ E0 j8 i6 H! k2 J11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
/ w+ K! b! N/ n0 f- P; }7 g1 Lshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally6 ~. C2 H* \( W2 i9 ?, ]: P, G# f
Activated.'- x+ k! ^; k8 |" g5 x8 X
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,' u; K/ m# \* n7 l& x% Z
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'7 ^ {* Q t' L5 h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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% E; J4 A0 q. z. F1 A5 B& H13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur' G6 ~: m* X- L7 o
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and: R" ?7 H' q; P! u
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
