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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush8 D+ h- {) N0 J. }
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
1 t( g! m- Y. L7 y0 kmorning.
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* | t! {4 y/ o. o1 h3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
% n' O% H& J+ i# myou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
' J& i$ T$ ^- m, H( _1 alanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its8 U4 i/ }; }+ v K4 o$ C
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% s, Q2 K I& ~8 h. O$ z0 n5 Z
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
1 b& O' C- Y5 F& mgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
- \2 L+ i0 g/ l9 f8 ~phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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, q; ~7 Z/ Y0 [. A" w: v5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
1 G% Z+ j9 e* Z D! Pcussed out, and possibly shot.4 ^. v. h0 f1 o. C$ a' M. R# H, O
& A6 q; l8 w8 ]8 r" ^6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
% j8 [0 q' {# U# Wget you shot.
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" W* o8 O1 J9 k& d$ a7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
. w0 H$ \3 |" C: ^; thas turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
5 E C) v; n* D6 ~* X! z$ Qthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot0 K( V* ?, a2 i- |8 }3 D
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first, `5 ?2 b x7 b. A
vehicle through the intersection.8 V. W" r0 C- e1 }( W/ `+ }
$ Q9 ~( S- W b6 ?4 |8 m/ {" Q z8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
6 T+ ]0 S Z- K% p9 l1 k5 `! P) Dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
7 I$ H# v/ E# `/ f! e4 lday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
) z- |8 w5 @# b' _8 N- Lmore construction starts everyday.
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3 w, y6 N0 p- k) z* R ^6 D5 X7 |9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
, g7 C- N! c( ^' xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
9 D7 ?' |' D s+ Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
1 Y" @" @! Y9 V, v* t1 Vroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
% N$ ]5 `9 W# F$ z7 T/ Y; @Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and$ X. ?0 F! L( S+ @" A0 a
66 Street are also the same road; got it?# P, h7 K5 `" g0 Z
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, i; e6 t7 N7 t
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally( t, e1 h6 I' a S
Activated.'
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
* a# `$ s9 d C8 D/ Syou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
4 @, l; @% A+ {$ v, T, Baccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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9 \, G: \! k* c* I+ z& @+ g# D2 R13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur) r+ k% k8 X; n6 L) k* h+ ~. }# }
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
: h) h* l! z/ P6 X! m* J& s" Bblankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
