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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.7 v4 E% b& l- S# w6 L5 {3 {( J& y
0 S% v: [* H0 Q( _2 k2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush; P! I% a; g: m$ i5 L
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
( S8 |* V/ K; emorning.
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0 j% ^! D7 H) F$ W T4 b3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
+ H' k- Z7 x) Q* G' zyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a, R$ k! ^. F1 t0 J g
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.% D" s$ n: L$ {
5 S, S6 j! r& J# g4 p* s1 E9 j4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; g, ?* Z+ T& X0 @) yown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest: D1 n6 L K, T- F3 O
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires' E- S* N2 i) ]& F2 u
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell9 D4 f5 |9 Y! a) R3 C6 v- x# J! I! o {
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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2 l. |8 \) H4 _$ G) u/ s5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
6 F2 d9 Y; g# t' I: w$ Icussed out, and possibly shot.
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
. U0 e4 q1 V5 N2 q& nget you shot.
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! r9 Y8 K6 u9 S* q( i7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that) p# l0 D) F: H& u# L$ [) n
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
: E; Q7 [/ l1 u1 ^0 g0 a, athe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
" B9 `6 `7 G6 x" N7 ~you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
3 ~- s4 D8 H9 l# M* z4 Lvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
0 {# D2 h4 m. e& S* I* Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next6 z7 Q3 O& W. A- G
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: J0 O( K+ [* imore construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
5 {, u! S' p8 T. Q$ @: f$ qdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,' [& ^: o& Y, W2 k! m9 l( @. |: d
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
" f8 ~! K2 B/ t# sroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye& o+ O8 r$ k0 e- Y7 F
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and" L' w' t' M4 b: g1 g1 l# t
66 Street are also the same road; got it?) y# Z, X3 M/ c3 K2 s8 r4 Z
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the. F0 `- Z# m1 t" Z0 {, j2 ?' d X
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally4 b6 j3 U/ I& h/ `2 o) ]. q- h6 N
Activated.'! L- c* T" K* x
' y! M8 g1 c( R12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
- w- c3 H8 k0 G& ]$ e) E* V: gyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
7 U. W# W) q- _! K7 Yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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5 z! [* F- Q5 ~1 @13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 N' o0 [ u4 m7 r) f9 E4 ~
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
a& o$ P1 s. A4 \blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
