ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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  `  V* z: ]: M9 U. L7 W3 ^+ P2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
& n4 N& R' u' O5 }1 i- fhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
$ A7 `+ l5 _2 N6 Omorning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
+ w; Z1 ~8 y) m6 h* P# Llanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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+ o8 P& Z2 o6 }: v* K; G) d# U, f4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
' U" G- C( W, B- b  i: |+ down version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

  P6 h: C! R0 U2 d) L6 O5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
& Q: o% C2 M8 Y  zcussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.

7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
% w% ^" A$ f; J+ ?* K. cthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
. I# G8 O! Q- P- I8 a$ Mvehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
( l2 y- l' R4 `0 |; L7 Fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
. v1 J" d- h. Tmore construction starts everyday.

0 H, n! Y5 m5 v/ l2 P9 y9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ x! o- D  j+ [# ~squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
) I4 y' j$ s6 F8 Q, r2 Wroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
' j8 k1 S4 b  o% E9 s4 _+ Cshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
& ]" [2 h. ]# KActivated.'

12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
) j6 J: J% K/ b9 |accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- w, C3 I5 S% Y1 q) [7 `9 U( rblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”
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2 l! L8 c+ w: h% u& ]* v后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
7 N1 O3 v  Y2 C$ _6 a8 \+ h! R
it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。