ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:

0 v' x( |' c* D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
  U3 F% d2 q2 L0 e) lmorning.
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. B; H: {4 ]( `) t3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
& ~  o3 S0 p1 B# ?. ]you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

1 L- b" q1 L. P4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: |( d9 P9 e" K  Y$ h" b% Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

# K6 N% S! |' b+ j2 Q9 [, Z& r8 X' ~* w5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; H) p0 `# S1 A$ I+ A' Ecussed out, and possibly shot.
9 K( \0 B1 I, J1 J/ _
) Z- a% J" F2 b" x! o0 \6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
. N7 q% w2 Y$ b- ]5 nget you shot.

1 k! t/ V& }' p: Z! W7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
has  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, _5 q2 l0 V# ?+ c7 ~the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
, D, U3 H" ?" _8 K6 T- ^# byou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
vehicle through the intersection.

% g" J$ a( W5 `* V# _3 e8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
/ v* S3 C/ A* O  e+ xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, i. }8 Y. o5 P2 Y' xmore construction starts everyday.

# Y9 o% S9 R3 D/ S, Y9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
& Q$ l2 K% Q) N9 Q1 tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
Road  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
66 Street are also the same road; got it?

" D# \3 x1 s: Q  \11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
0 {1 F6 U* s7 E2 i6 rActivated.'

4 h. ~  [& q. B: w- `4 F3 A  u12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
' ?% ]) E' [/ L- e" c
0 ]3 Y+ T) _- g( f7 @. y$ ]13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 `1 I! j0 ^/ _( e& N6 o% V' V# F& kblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

* \' H# _- ^3 Z% p* q5 D0 k后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish

it happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。