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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:! Z; O7 J7 r. L$ d
0 v' x( |' c* D1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.& D8 I5 J# V" ]* H9 a( A6 {/ ?2 f
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush- c1 ~3 O+ S4 q4 X* ?
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
U3 F% d2 q2 L0 e) lmorning.
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. B; H: {4 ]( `) t3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
& ~ o3 S0 p1 B# ?. ]you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a2 y* Y: X ~5 U* r/ L
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'., L8 j; D5 R+ h1 d" q: U% y
1 L- b" q1 L. P4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its* `4 M. Z6 H; g1 K9 a; f' k- R! D' L
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
: |( d9 P9 e" K Y$ h" b% Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires! U" y; C% ~5 p5 |/ H% p. R# V8 C* ~
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell) d; ]' [3 U/ |6 H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.' j/ _3 a) j% L/ F0 l6 @2 T
# K6 N% S! |' b+ j2 Q9 [, Z& r8 X' ~* w5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
; H) p0 `# S1 A$ I+ A' Ecussed out, and possibly shot.
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) Z- a% J" F2 b" x! o0 \6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
. N7 q% w2 Y$ b- ]5 nget you shot.) d. z# H+ r& z* J ]' L* l/ J
1 k! t/ V& }' p: Z! W7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that* P6 I L6 B* o& g/ l
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
, _5 q2 l0 V# ?+ c7 ~the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
, D, U3 H" ?" _8 K6 T- ^# byou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first# c! R m. m1 b/ H. U+ _
vehicle through the intersection.: [' N; ~; U5 P9 |( I4 ]! t
% g" J$ a( W5 `* V# _3 e8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
/ v* S3 C/ A* O e+ xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next3 K8 e2 Q8 j# J) B# m' h
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
, i. }8 Y. o5 P2 Y' xmore construction starts everyday.4 H4 ]. w/ |: m6 z0 g4 Z& E0 G& L
# Y9 o% S9 R3 D/ S, Y9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
& Q$ l2 K% Q) N9 Q1 tdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,) R0 Z$ S; l+ r; Z5 K2 d2 t6 Q1 q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same! p8 o& J6 r9 Y/ ?+ L
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye. ^3 |2 I" u. ?4 i e
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and$ }! c. E! h: `, ~6 h9 b# X
66 Street are also the same road; got it?. P' a' n; R4 ~0 C8 o6 l4 h
" D# \3 x1 s: Q \11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ c5 n4 N/ T. x" @& B; T
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
0 {1 F6 U* s7 E2 i6 rActivated.'- W! v- g& e' E! Z6 s
4 h. ~ [& q. B: w- `4 F3 A u12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone," }$ G, k( A8 i& _- U5 P! g, U
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'+ @$ {6 V4 c. Q, X$ h6 k5 X1 E
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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0 ]3 Y+ T) _- g( f7 @. y$ ]13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur: I" T' v) D) d9 I3 L) a
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
7 `1 I! j0 ^/ _( e& N6 o% V' V# F& kblankets in the vehicle. |
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