ZT: Important New Rules for Driving in Edmonton

wgdf2008

THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
5 Y+ n3 A6 R7 ^; a( p) hhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
! t  H7 }" ?. ^+ {morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

  L$ R. w6 p) a. _- Y4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
2 H* j2 b+ ?: y2 R0 town version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
% x, Z5 B' x/ @4 d* K' B( ^- G5 aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

- O3 ]4 w# A2 ]4 g6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
get you shot.
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$ I' s9 R: K5 V4 Z8 U3 [& e  b7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
5 `- O8 S" N& L5 Nhas  turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
. g$ z6 U4 m$ |7 Tvehicle through the intersection.
5 i8 s  X$ n) |) L) @( }1 P
; [" f* D  l3 m% X) _1 K8 A8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
/ z6 P8 k8 p3 m1 M; I" vday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
0 w5 B4 n7 X7 ~  l0 L- T% qmore construction starts everyday.

9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
0 L! R1 \. [& _' q# Y6 ]deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9 N& f* O  d& T* U; l, s7 A
  D) k/ d, l. `10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
+ @! v- \0 ?6 J0 G" rroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
6 m: k# G4 [+ u8 C. w* d8 zRoad  are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
, H- \4 r1 h8 ~0 ^9 o6 i7 N66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
0 a5 }  n6 }8 J; P. Ushoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
2 I4 l. |, R% M& U2 B& S" wActivated.'
3 E1 ~/ F# q, m9 T; H9 j
0 m# S( @7 c6 b9 i$ J12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
; ]! u5 H! y) U2 N4 U$ h& ]! Syou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# f  A% e7 k1 `4 e$ [; o' ulined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
6 T0 O! Z+ U/ G3 f2 ]; r. W2 R+ Gblankets in the vehicle.

pigyear

Funny but true in Edmonton. Where did you get this stuff?

scuba1995

靠，还真对

KochFord

刚以为真的呢，乐了半天“The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph”

( ^7 g* V& I- s2 H6 o! m* E  Z后来发现是搞笑

irish

真是那么回事儿．我在左转的时候，经常被后车按喇叭．黄灯的时候，有直行车开过来，我怎么知道他停不停？一般我都等直行车停了，再走，所以经常被按喇叭．原来还生气，后来都耐受了，随便按吧．

数数马

5# irish
( S, a1 |$ |1 ^) {2 w
9 k* {5 \. h- ?0 Xit happens a lot

奥运会指定马甲

以前我在edmonton的时候也这么想，可是搬到ontario以后才发现爱城的只能算小儿科。

荠荠菜

厚脸皮，厚脸皮。