 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!* N1 D* I, B: |' d4 y
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
7 B2 P! l% b4 i1 p. R, v1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫4 i3 o) J* h, }6 c8 [
! g7 E# g. T: g" D1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it1 Y+ c- }7 y4 c! u
down.& I+ P& z' M9 e* d
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.5 V: s$ X- _0 O$ X& a5 G
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？ Q4 ~# S# i5 m! a
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.& r; {2 F& R5 T7 Y6 [
Let it be.
5 U$ [1 Y# e( Z% V1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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$ c4 `; A$ S9 l1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it0 V! t# f$ l2 e# [5 n- x
that way.
- h% |, S" i9 j4 _! X1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！! w2 i% D; b0 {" N0 Z9 W% e8 B
, @; v9 B& Z+ w4 M7 v; @1 s3 F1. Crying is blackmail.% v+ @, T! [, X' L0 S
1，哭泣是敲诈
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6 {5 l- E. ~2 S1. Ask for what you want.5 B' s7 ^% J! F
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!& S' r! u, t f) O# P' S k
Strong hints do not work!* g) T. K) \( e3 O( a
Obvious hints do not work!
6 i/ u. _% N* B0 W# b; `, vJust say it!( s6 r% R, i) K& u
1，你想要什么就说
( x6 K/ f! b! }3 k v我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！- R7 b B; {7 ?3 N
6 ?3 Q6 H4 w% n4 @0 \9 [' q" N1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 2 c7 D& I# p7 o0 k/ c( V$ m5 z
question.: O( m5 X1 G3 j8 I7 X
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）5 ^: e7 I% k8 D2 F- ?7 n3 ]2 p5 n
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's5 j2 Q! E8 a5 F w4 ]4 y
what we do." I. d' i* v9 {$ V& k, f1 I
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1 J/ [% | K s( ]1 B. G
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- b1 e4 V+ s1 a& b1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.+ S( X3 Z8 g, y, A( }; E
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
7 R. m& b0 b2 R L) \5 z: w4 x我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us3 Z+ j, t5 V2 X. M/ X2 `
to act like soap opera guys.5 U* ~9 y+ V" m# t N% s7 ?4 \4 k
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们" h, I4 E; k4 x
1 K" T: M! R0 B' S+ v3 Q0 E- _1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1 T( ^: P* ?: R# Z/ K1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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( A( \9 f9 r) `+ z x: x$ r% M1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways* t, w1 _5 B% R6 A" f
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
& ?. [. q) u: j1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。; k/ _) n" K; ? x2 W2 z
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
Z% B) l, A5 ]2 v4 q r3 a2 \1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it/ x# \; V- {; J! M+ k: m! Z
done. Not both.
. u; a4 m+ P/ L, [3 d* b+ CIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.5 Z7 `; O# \: }( J
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.4 R7 `9 a& H4 F7 b8 ~$ m# v
' D) `! a) H( S. c* F: v S1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
% B' M' b! y6 }9 M3 [- APeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
' y: A. H" ~2 r [We have no idea what mauve is.4 [* O# b6 ~* S
6 O0 ?4 m$ m3 q2 n0 x) Z! g x1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like3 `; l$ t# \) ^! c' L# {
nothing's wrong.
" N$ t! q1 q$ A# W4 FWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.5 T# B8 [# } n5 q7 E! H* `; ?
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
. X5 M- }& } m! [: \) @2 {% cyou don't want to hear.
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+ y$ m# X2 P: o1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is7 k2 l) ^; w& j6 A6 p/ [; j
fine...Really.4 J' D1 Y9 i- Q G0 t/ [
0 c1 j/ f7 H) ?# Q3 f8 p: v1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to( ^7 I' j- Q( p/ o
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.( [) L, a# c1 {& |! p8 E
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1. You have enough clothes.
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) C: [7 L& u( l+ E. A8 x: k1. You have too many shoes.2 ^5 l8 z# \# y i
* D' G) M3 q" E5 c1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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- y- @+ n8 A4 @5 J1. Thank you for reading this.: q- L0 A. ], S, l* L, y
0 X5 B; e1 | fYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;1 T: ~* }3 ?% Y& \0 \& Y% s( k& s
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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* a! z0 }1 m3 ^5 i# z' J% e: _$ xPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.4 K, @, l o2 d9 w) D% R. @% @7 B
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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