 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!# w R+ d: Y% v! P/ j% D$ m
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
6 K6 F6 C# g1 X1 u |- E" [# y8 ]9 X1 S0 K$ S4 G. S W8 L4 L
1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.% g6 F, h0 e7 `6 Y6 w) I- b
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
& `' t2 k& A3 m( z3 s8 w* \# a/ L* c6 t% J+ y$ s$ k) n5 X
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it$ R- x/ ?' z- R$ t
down.# l+ }7 t& z! Y+ S. A
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
2 E! I7 r6 E) r( Wyou
' g) M8 m1 Q, |3 H$ y. h6 Z7 i8 tleaving it down.
+ K7 c; U) i2 }- Q. b+ U' z1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？' j ?9 E/ Q- t% H* n' i
1 h- u+ h% r6 J( [1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.3 g' d& t) W! d) T9 F+ V
Let it be.
- T+ f0 A7 H7 t1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
7 c f0 y. `% Z V# I. K
9 r5 m6 Q g8 w; O8 ]1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
# f8 p- m% |/ ^9 t/ q3 @& K9 ^6 Dthat way.+ K4 J N0 _ B, Q, T; b- X4 o
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！7 M, w P" D; E
; ?0 |+ Z F4 x4 Q1 ~2 E2 M/ b
1. Crying is blackmail.7 q, J1 K; J$ _5 }0 r" n+ O% _
1，哭泣是敲诈+ ]) d8 s+ O+ F' \* j; R$ X6 r2 v
% m1 V$ x/ K" \- Y) R8 F1. Ask for what you want.
! V* q' v; Z) ^4 D% tLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!5 ~7 F! k4 T# e/ [3 T' } l m
Strong hints do not work!) k1 K. h' R5 [/ `
Obvious hints do not work!
0 _4 r% l7 [7 Y. |* vJust say it!
. N Y. c. h2 R% X6 m4 v6 z1，你想要什么就说
" y- G7 Z, M2 J7 K1 k# j6 p$ j我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！# _" x9 G ^3 }) g0 [1 F6 B
: X( ]3 @5 j* p& T
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
% N7 Z0 Q+ N5 N) xquestion.
: ]5 }: O. t) G D J1 d( l ^: {1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）. h8 o. h* u, z, T
6 X2 P5 g# e/ U- n% O1 V6 J
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's2 k& h- {6 N: J8 u% X# L
what we do.$ Z Z, y0 g( _3 r. \: @% p
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
0 Q0 ` U \% Q1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
' f9 x7 u3 s: S4 O& _( d1 n8 V' S: [
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.+ s# E4 Y: b# `! }/ Y! w$ V
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
5 Q! M, b: H; K. Z: n$ C5 E. D* w V, W
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
0 n' x9 L, L9 n, A- F- WIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. O4 \3 H& f% g9 c/ { @
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了5 G3 O( R N4 S0 ]: s2 A$ |! P0 e
0 O& P5 f8 r+ k2 u" ?* E5 Y
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us4 o8 Q0 j+ e8 C, o* ^
to act like soap opera guys.1 S! G; t! U( n( _
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
8 ^0 [% F2 h5 M( ~. j
- t: g+ M5 `+ ~' g" Y, k1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
5 m0 K6 n& M5 w1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
* |/ H: _, N# |
: y! J, ]2 A* P, C5 O) {2 [1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways b1 S6 }$ X6 o0 ~1 m0 z4 ?# ]
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.# y" ]: | s( F$ m3 P% S9 \
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。: C; r5 h9 T/ U& R) x
9 d; E9 n: n' P1 F! Q( J) c
（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）# X7 Y. c- N9 ]5 F8 b% ~& p) y# R
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
1 T5 h' u: G+ Z0 I0 Qdone. Not both., x2 p' |& g. y4 i' e, Q- m
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.% V I+ ~3 e) |" R; E* M( W
- D. Q8 L7 u- `5 o- |+ l {1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during9 [& W& r2 Y9 ^( _+ ~, X9 }% @7 [3 z
commercials.( u2 h) q+ V( \6 `: M+ B0 ^6 ]3 Z
+ M, y( b2 J$ `
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
& o! Q o6 s) \9 U$ d
# k" |+ C3 ?( [1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
" J" ^$ K' P" PPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.- a; P0 L. g) B. i8 o4 X; D* a
We have no idea what mauve is.
2 k5 ?7 B; y; C7 b9 z1 d. F' u# S( J- E) a% j9 J
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.. T/ Q+ |$ k4 E- w: z
1 M2 t3 M0 Y2 S# ]" k6 Z1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like5 e/ K9 U* F$ J9 r2 X4 W
nothing's wrong.. r U3 k& D, Y, q. m
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.8 h$ L1 y' a* u) S1 E0 w3 C- s
& i$ D6 `0 s8 d4 c: d! v
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
: a! u3 [ J8 M% X8 e6 [* `/ vyou don't want to hear.
3 g0 Z/ t. z/ O. v' C/ v4 {+ x+ I# j" g! w! J- o7 R
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
/ Z4 j) P/ `/ J8 O, zfine...Really.5 b! x0 j$ n: q$ |. V. Z# o9 R
8 [0 w/ x8 A( t8 G1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
1 h% V# c# h/ Odiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf." q5 j4 o3 U* l5 v6 o2 S
7 }# Q- S, P- Z1. You have enough clothes.' U+ z6 b6 |1 b" f4 h" P( u" f
6 C) r7 c I) i: b- @1. You have too many shoes.* ]2 X- ]) i$ k' O! G+ \ G0 F
2 r) n- A7 O$ \/ N/ F
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
& `0 T) l! G7 I- Y. H# v- P, ?. p4 T
1. Thank you for reading this.
5 f q' G9 k3 x: q3 R
+ \& t- @$ `. ], t1 CYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
2 J3 M8 l) s L% C1 TBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.8 \% h3 g% b, `. M9 W: K! `
& S, s! S% S! `; ?Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
' @4 b- @& W8 Q; @Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
* d5 N$ E2 n$ m