 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!- }! Z" F, v# m* W' H6 L2 A
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写2 p3 S" J" M0 S3 C# ?' j0 z
9 G) v+ j9 d1 X; S7 K& k1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.1 d$ d" M/ I2 v* @0 G' i4 D
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
4 B/ V7 N8 {4 C C& x; S: } S E; k( g" ^' N! {& b" ~
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
8 ~9 R% }9 @! I( C1 b9 odown.. W2 J' B1 I3 o C6 k
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
' j4 a# O7 ~8 M" {, q) ryou
; N# g% l6 e0 wleaving it down.
4 j- w2 n; o) }* l5 o; }; k1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?$ D! n. U& t$ j3 P' j" m# R# V
! w i2 \: {) u
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
- v% J7 v8 e( R1 E" B. n) p; BLet it be.
1 t) i S( i0 w8 s* C) A9 k9 L1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去( g* B8 I5 c& G; H' r# j; ^
/ e+ @4 i" c& H& Y7 e! ]. G
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it" C! R+ w* Q! L& ~8 }. v" @7 D
that way.
. h3 ^; ]: @ N1 L4 M9 X7 Z3 R1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!6 [7 G5 H) N% }" Y" _
~) ~1 S( C E) }# x; S* g) m
1. Crying is blackmail.( o! }- \) x" R. V8 t- ?
1,哭泣是敲诈
9 ]" ] Y4 n& _$ e; K
; L% v: `/ a4 X m1. Ask for what you want.
: h, {6 x3 b+ eLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
: D: [/ {8 R6 z! @) I0 @! zStrong hints do not work!
7 d7 A8 t9 ~. t. b# DObvious hints do not work!. c: N8 o7 f1 c* z$ h% ~% w1 K
Just say it!
+ ~. `* U% l1 H' C; h; o1,你想要什么就说8 H B7 a) @; |# s/ W* d% A
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
+ J5 D& ]- w- Z" {
( y$ C8 K+ a5 t. d3 W3 K1 p8 l/ E1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
" c, W* @# I8 Q8 h: Nquestion.' P' ?; ]6 p$ q& {% S. {
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
. h! B$ b* ], D% R5 k; l4 r& }7 P$ F& C+ Q+ u
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
2 y3 q5 t* A+ u- x9 U, Cwhat we do.
* x4 Y+ q q/ V* ~4 ]6 zSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
. H* n5 x) h0 V3 ?' n" x1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
% A- f3 S+ [5 f1 K' v' ^
4 y( J; t* @- D- d1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
0 l* ^3 T- b( K3 [8 l: l+ W' v2 S( t1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去( \ S4 w5 W3 n6 {: R; t
3 x' r; M0 K5 S4 e- H! x, _1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.6 b) P3 \6 P& n2 A3 _
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
; ^, o& i; U8 `' g' r2 t1 ^ d我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了. U6 D1 J- `# V
) g6 G6 T/ n& O' Y, t: D
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
4 S9 j' v3 e$ l9 d8 U+ V5 G+ ^to act like soap opera guys.
6 h& _: ^) T# M0 s2 t5 ~0 a+ b, M1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们( H8 u: q0 W& E' v& \. g
5 I: I5 F0 X% r# |! u. h6 }
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
8 Y: }" G$ f% x& e; y3 @1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们. C' k3 I% h) {4 y
: G) I/ l5 P7 G3 Y+ p6 T. Z# p B1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways+ E% n9 J) q. a, C
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.# r* x1 Q3 {7 i) p+ c
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。" k+ U( R% k7 Y5 @2 _
4 z* @& [! y% k5 k(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)$ |' C4 T: @" O Z
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it$ @. H' I9 Q! p; c1 K# v5 ?
done. Not both.
% J$ C* [% i# WIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.1 l6 n* o# l. H/ b* s
: B5 `: V' A% p8 x; ?1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
0 f! s# j5 ?9 I+ D+ bcommercials.4 Y0 I2 }( ^: Q
) Q' b7 u5 i5 M- s! T0 U Y5 N! O1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
# }" R, W- ?3 ]; G7 C& x! x( `+ k* n. D* |# L& v
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
: Q" q1 A5 ^2 d* p7 OPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
: W, P& m3 w6 n, C6 N& TWe have no idea what mauve is.0 R& W# r: H! P( G/ S! y# O
/ _5 K+ L/ P8 F; K2 f& B1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
! r7 m# r( y5 B+ u: R# O, Z, P/ w5 s; ?8 {+ s# j3 b5 p$ x8 k
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
: y+ A/ x0 e( z. ?7 g, ?nothing's wrong.( _$ f) X, _, V3 T! v) S* ^0 A; Y
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
; P3 E6 T4 b* c1 `6 l- J0 |" v! e1 ?* s2 `
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer$ Q1 B% z8 f3 }) c* L
you don't want to hear.
6 h2 O& I2 ~9 m) Y" A+ @! r
y& g/ H7 ]9 I* k1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is' a4 D2 B3 ]) Y$ d6 z V
fine...Really., M6 t. w6 }5 j; [- [1 D
$ c. C8 K# z2 ~: b9 G, ]1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to O, o" `- s6 z! s C& x
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
8 {) I6 k; V, h6 e
& G7 _6 V& U; r3 o- f: C7 M1. You have enough clothes.
, R" p$ {+ \. ~% P |# \( k" }7 Z, K8 w! G
1. You have too many shoes.
) F% b, k7 C- d( f& v# ]+ s3 i+ V4 L" q. _3 U; {/ G, I# ~
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!! z; B. @+ L4 a' W, M; i8 Q
$ w3 g: {) r u- p) t: u1 J
1. Thank you for reading this.) n# `3 D* n5 H2 L% v/ y
2 q' V6 b! X, K# \
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;( u5 V) ]. _" a: c
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.* R; U# T2 Q* f3 Q* I
9 s! l. j/ o5 `% D( n: h
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
: \2 i, e3 P" V& v* |3 dPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|