 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!) T2 K; _" ^, X4 B0 P
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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7 c8 i g+ f- |1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.6 F, V5 V! t# I5 t0 m2 N3 H( t
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫% U( Q2 f+ e& T; y* Y
6 ^% m6 d' v3 u- j; c& w1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
. N% N- ?5 [1 y# X" sdown.
2 f; O/ ]' B. q" n6 b7 |- aWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.1 x& G: B1 M8 _) B9 g
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.9 V5 I& l3 S ~
Let it be.$ B5 I% }: A2 E& m2 E3 p
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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# e# C4 b0 w0 ^9 g7 X3 D1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it8 m2 O, A" M' @% W2 G% x, s7 Y
that way.% E# w5 _: b d" j% U; V1 m
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！) ~ E$ a1 x* _5 c- Y; h* z, z
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1. Crying is blackmail.4 x9 Y0 S7 r$ _$ [" |
1，哭泣是敲诈8 ]8 s9 U) p# O& e8 q4 }4 p
( s; I% x, f! s1. Ask for what you want.
" Y# R+ y8 ]' d7 l, F- ]* eLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!+ x% f8 ~& [( C5 [
Strong hints do not work!6 O$ B+ B/ {3 c6 B$ U2 i$ ^
Obvious hints do not work!
; b3 z' }0 |! d3 YJust say it!$ b3 i) Z# L8 y/ W
1，你想要什么就说( r8 h2 S( H: j- w; q8 z
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！! Y& I6 M& e7 J2 n" a; d6 R) d
1 K8 ]$ Y/ k$ S; X& ~- K& `1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every % [/ [5 N2 _/ n3 J5 S1 n
question.
! M8 u9 @+ u8 I& J) }3 j1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）7 K5 N3 |* U- Q$ C* @
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
0 Y/ k6 _4 l/ \9 ?1 X& ~" L9 }what we do.) D/ i7 A( }1 T5 L) f
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1 @' ~. ?$ A5 f- K7 M
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。6 ~ G8 T; S& O: r; O
/ _9 i5 z' n+ o0 ~# P' `8 F% X1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
+ X# i0 J) |2 N5 u1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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! g$ e" e7 S, o5 e$ { p1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
7 A$ B9 W/ U- q. IIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.7 m5 `) ?/ m$ w# i# Y/ _
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us& k! z7 E9 e, k. Z
to act like soap opera guys./ w) O C. i4 S' l* n3 `& ~1 `$ o% _
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们6 k$ ^2 E5 {1 u' Y# _/ |$ _! }
6 Y, O j9 F& H& p( }2 E1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.; m, @- K7 J6 V
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们( I- j" z* B( R, c+ ~2 h3 r1 v# `
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways3 }% @: p1 S7 G& q
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.7 d# m/ S, d; _0 {% C
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。7 r3 c- u; t& r; G/ i0 B" j
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）; X8 _7 d, P4 T
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
! b& c, o) u1 `' Xdone. Not both.
! ^' ]% _ I7 T7 h( @9 jIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1 G" b- p" @0 D& T& P. S( u. Q: V1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
' X# G1 G+ k$ Zcommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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5 @* f) M' C' L* Y% ^1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
0 h/ B+ h+ V$ ^& d pPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.4 V; D2 w1 h) z
We have no idea what mauve is.6 M8 \! G" @' {7 ^: N, e d
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.. o6 `0 Y/ K) `. C) y" L
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
7 u r) j; @4 f; s# Fnothing's wrong.& K; \+ D0 i+ h, g
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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! P8 t" v9 D) ] k8 F5 O1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
5 C A3 X9 L- q6 x5 Lyou don't want to hear.3 [3 O/ I1 l! O% u& y) B0 d
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is1 a" H$ P$ ^! ]$ O$ Y# X
fine...Really.
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4 p! M7 E6 V% T0 W2 D9 ?! G1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
. R* ]% t. M1 {. h7 y& W5 Qdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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, F$ N. p5 W- J1. You have enough clothes.
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/ }* |( }* s4 J& c1. You have too many shoes.. U3 m/ b6 ?6 b8 m0 H- {1 {
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.3 \3 g) \' c+ Q
6 j. `6 S! `, ~; @3 PYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
6 r. C7 G1 v0 M YBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.+ K( o, s* ^' T; t* r- X
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.7 S0 I3 R- W# \- n; y) |
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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