 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!3 A4 |$ i: O* O+ R6 d; i8 |
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写& \# d6 ?& k7 R6 ]
" @; X \2 q }8 L6 [ P1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
3 D" @+ i/ r+ ?6 ]1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it* n" P- x& u* W5 D
down.% L3 u' m9 N3 v$ O
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about & q3 S- u5 g- }1 Q8 k+ }
you
( Z) H4 i; h; e% qleaving it down.
6 q- B/ u' D5 |: }5 H% G1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？2 k( T7 K2 W) {
2 F6 T" w+ b1 O% s1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
7 y# u. H9 c" o3 {) dLet it be.
" q, `8 T! ~$ W! p7 q! n1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去* Y9 A! [. `& |3 I3 \. D! L1 ]
& ~9 j7 c* N& w+ ^9 X' x, q' E1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
& }8 u' q4 g& N5 D& t+ e/ ^3 ^that way.3 r; v3 n# p) M& \2 w! N m
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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8 r0 h o9 ? G. n" L1. Crying is blackmail. N2 H4 [. K$ v
1，哭泣是敲诈" b) p" U. X4 U9 f
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1. Ask for what you want.1 p ]' n8 s. L- Y1 y& M0 ?
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!( s c( Z! D3 u
Strong hints do not work!
. i. p* ~( r, `5 C5 HObvious hints do not work!$ f( j' M8 H1 N9 i O i0 }# T
Just say it!
3 Q3 `+ D6 {* O* K# m, c2 @1，你想要什么就说" z% u# W$ @6 ?- L6 J) P
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！" ?8 p( \" `3 o9 Z# W2 J4 B9 v. P% F
6 E& ?$ ]) G, H; e1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 5 |3 H) Z, @5 ?% X# q/ D7 j# _
question.
# X. e5 o X ?7 R: J1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）) n' n. @# U5 Y5 o s+ `1 g
5 l( M9 N, ?; Q& X2 u. K1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
) R+ \% l* F# x+ _; a; jwhat we do.
( n( e/ U4 b$ o2 p# x1 P* _/ V( pSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.3 q' f$ Z3 X3 D, R( B8 ~
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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$ g4 p! ~, R& ^# ~" w+ [1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.$ {) ^( o2 @" i
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去1 p: B+ D) z8 U9 o. K
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
% O0 v9 {% L/ a; ^* mIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
C' f1 j5 v B, a3 H, A4 l( W我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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" V% A+ z h1 A' y- o! G+ f( Z1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us+ D0 L' {/ g$ x% J! V
to act like soap opera guys.
; ^* N/ q! S) P$ W1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们5 ^# ~' Z( L: ~! W4 M5 g8 c
! B8 C" `6 {2 A1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
, o, J4 V3 F/ w. v/ E; f1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们 X2 o- \ M" ]
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways/ F. `9 O" W" | ~, g
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
S9 y$ j7 n/ Q% I7 g# Q1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。' m1 l5 `1 F) H3 K8 G( W$ K3 k L
! @. X( C! |: {4 P. W0 |9 M) h（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
8 i* x# a* I6 s# o1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. x* y7 ^2 v. h
done. Not both.
" }3 s- \/ O( M& P9 |( Y& FIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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9 K; g: [6 P3 ` B( A$ w1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during( R) H8 E" O! t
commercials.
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/ Y: c( X4 R2 J* T1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.. A/ N- R0 Q/ K$ Q5 j% P4 F \
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
5 P7 _8 ~+ Y. D3 Z# b: Z4 y) OWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.& `* m/ E* }6 o& t& o; @
9 n0 `6 N6 G- i" X0 ]1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like* a4 K7 e6 b% m2 `1 Z9 Q
nothing's wrong.- ]7 h/ e( |/ M" T5 v
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.4 a* E2 U, H' \2 [/ @
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
: U4 h6 j, r7 P' Fyou don't want to hear.4 H h5 w# r3 J& E8 q
" i( K- H$ ]! F/ L; z1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is6 P' D, [6 C- T. C
fine...Really.3 t8 y# b9 |8 _
; k+ n. [, t& e7 s: |" H+ g1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to: \/ |0 F/ I4 X
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!. v4 x4 q2 H0 x2 M/ R5 M" k
8 j% H0 D/ D( A2 T1. Thank you for reading this.
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6 _6 D2 B. w9 t' b- t% b: XYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;6 q# G9 v7 r% q) ?
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
5 o# a4 x* S: ~$ E- ~Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
