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the longest word in the English language

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2012-4-14 13:24 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2013-3-21 17:25 编辑 ' p) r( C  F: Z4 u( x$ q
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Question: What is the longest word in the English language?
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Answer: smiles1 |$ p5 m1 C( `" v

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Because there is a mile between the first and last letters.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:27 | 显示全部楼层
Maria found America
" G, q# m4 {' c& Q( bWhy? Not Columbia? Take a look at the class:
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7 T7 S$ ^/ _- D; r. O9 {. }Teacher: Maria, please point to America on the map. : u1 ?; c& I( S" S( E$ F
Maria: This is it.
: b, L  M3 B/ s$ s0 k) A' DTeacher: Well done. Now class, who found America?
$ n+ _) [; z' rClass: Maria did.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:30 | 显示全部楼层
The following is an old joke, which is consistent with our Chinese saying 无事献殷勤非奸即盗: Y" _" Q# L7 r, B) W; w- P0 A7 B: x

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A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
+ ^- l% S$ F7 N1 P"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink.". U/ _  e% N! c2 h8 a
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
7 u1 H5 L% d$ @"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:39 编辑 $ W* W# U, ]. M
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你可以对警察说,我想你是个混蛋
4 e1 |/ i$ A0 @! H0 p2 rYou CAN say that you think somebody is a jerk, especially when this person is a cop who gave you a ticket. Take a look:
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A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine./ y" j2 l6 n- A# `1 u" i' N5 f% Q

) z  |+ a; i; o$ o1 iOfficer: You were speeding.# n$ Y  `! g5 {0 _% z" u, |
Man: No, I wasn't.
( Y0 j* z" `. S/ h8 oOfficer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.1 u& c4 e( S- f' k, z) g
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
% z3 c- a- f8 r' E+ a# UOfficer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
) |, e& z/ N: B, T# ~. q; U) L, dMan: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?8 o4 `) {& ~% n2 Q! X7 ^' ^
Officer: Yes, you would.; c0 n  \# o- M$ l8 `  N
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
2 b2 D( |8 @7 j" R, GOfficer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.. J" I* X, n4 B- W* |
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:35 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 13:38 编辑
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2 C( j( B% c8 L8 i- m为什么男人们总问这个问题
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"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.1 ^) ?; a  e! j( x8 s
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:37 | 显示全部楼层
老鼠在你家里干什么
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A: I'm in a big trouble!
/ ^( e4 l: g' C& c4 a3 fB: Why is that?- Z, G: w% k# ^- w+ c2 y, Y
A: I saw a mouse in my house!% @& W0 M4 K7 P' h& R
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
. W. X/ p: w9 X5 Q; yA: I don't have one./ k6 U2 h+ X8 u, K
B: Well then, buy one.
% f1 Q9 ^# _  c+ M; V9 [A: Can't afford one.
2 x# M$ W. e" C, L+ J- n; D7 e  EB: I can give you mine if you want.8 q+ w0 B  X* B9 ^8 h
A: That sounds good.3 K5 E5 K" i1 R2 G
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
2 U! q, y, e. F6 z- {A: I don't have any cheese.
" M+ [1 v3 q) Q6 V: C( @B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.7 w0 o" }0 i# H$ n& S" j
A: I don't have oil.
6 z9 c( v; N7 R! E7 V) i& s3 a  ZB: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
9 i/ A* ^7 l5 y- t, i0 T$ l% F5 qA: I don't have bread.
: |; D0 z/ z  \' @( FB: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:40 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
等一分钟: a. g% V) s+ m9 A7 k3 ?4 v
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A man is talking to God.) E, L2 \7 `, `: j# q1 a

$ V* Q8 \! V) YThe man: "God, how long is a million years?"
( k2 l9 m9 b8 S  x3 yGod: "To me, it's about a minute."7 B# E( I2 ^% q+ m
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"" m& n" t7 P3 ]$ ^
God: "To me it's a penny."8 J% T0 E" G- L! Z6 r- M3 B1 q
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
! y% y5 j8 H3 B0 r0 H4 P& I" l! ?God: "Wait a minute."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:44 | 显示全部楼层
Why couldn't Cinderella be a good soccer player? : l7 J% U% [- m7 [! q& @" e9 f1 z
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She lost her shoe, she ran away from the ball, and her coach was a pumpkin.
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(Requires basic knowledge of the Cinderella story and that both ball and coach have double meanings.)
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
I is or I am! S9 P% g8 o/ i. B0 i( E5 c
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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". ' C$ D* w" J! Q
Student: I is the...
5 l  i+ b) t9 `0 [1 x/ \Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
( A9 i" l7 ~6 `/ U* Y, f- _" y8 AStudent: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:06 编辑
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" D2 E" w2 R+ R6 E; }Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:54 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑
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" \4 h2 o. B# VA: A stamp.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:55 | 显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:05 编辑 1 _, y8 i8 R4 C, a) z5 ]4 T) f& T
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Q: What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean? " m2 v7 `- ^! P& L/ c: L

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( ~4 Q4 w; X* uA: A blackboard.
大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-4-14 13:59 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
本帖最后由 billzhao 于 2012-4-14 14:02 编辑 . u- k# O; K) y. ^
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Riddles of Alphabet. ]& R6 h- m: D- `/ e

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Q: What letter of the alphabet is an insect?
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Q: What letter is a drink?
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Q: What letter is a pronoun like "you"? ) b3 a& d* G' a. X- s

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Q: What letter is a European bird?
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6 J) u! ?5 r# ~6 BA: Y. (why)0 p( o3 s  b& g; o, Q

: b. y; ]( l/ V7 _4 O9 _$ c- }Q: What four letters frighten a thief? 7 z4 A$ U3 D0 t) Z
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# i8 P6 q( J7 l( l& y
9 F  q" i! f% n- {! X- ^/ ]* t3 O' v/ o& ?
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. H) {" Y: M/ o: Y# \, l% n
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A: O.I.C.U. (Oh I see you!)) s, `; a& q% I0 u9 |( E
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Q: What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment but not once in a thousand years?
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5 g; m' h8 C9 y4 q: \3 [0 ^0 ~
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/ l  _+ Z8 ~( x, ]0 d
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8 V. ]( U) x" S( a  ?6 M9 \2 k) @- e4 x, L3 X; b

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* R7 n* E6 z7 h" r& \A: The letter "m".
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Q: Why is the letter "T" like an island ?
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6 [; K: e  E2 D0 z. c" V8 KA: Because it is in the middle of waTer.
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Q: In what way can the letter "A" help a deaf lady?
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; C3 U# w( x  C: f  z6 U

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4 ^3 h) B! p, G" t5 q
0 u. R5 I! ?9 \5 Z4 NA: It can make "her" "hear./ @* l+ k+ R1 W& }

6 p5 M: ?  B; f7 _0 }; @" i' N- m0 y+ CQ: Which is the loudest vowel? # b% a, W/ K- }+ y  T$ c) ~

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  Y/ v  `3 S. v. y3 ~
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2 D% t. B  _1 D0 r$ b
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* ^3 y! r6 E" [0 b9 W& I% b. H. _9 A0 J" q$ Q' D$ Y& L  S# {

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5 v& i% _, |, U) J9 `
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/ M$ x1 J6 D3 e7 E6 lA: The letter "I". It is always in the midst of noise
% v( d7 j6 j- S* R% t! P. A
7 Q& s6 O0 R; T3 N; m$ {4 o! ?! bQ: What way are the letter "A" and "noon" alike? ' k# J  I. M# I/ f- \3 z5 R0 m9 M
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& m1 C- [/ w1 r8 _. M* ~5 B+ @6 P' s
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2 A, @* k- l9 T2 R. S, O

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) |$ [* p8 ~$ R# H! b. q) @. n0 _
9 n/ l6 k; U$ ]/ I. K4 Y; T! c2 C9 z( R$ g2 i7 f- H$ w
  M4 U+ Z/ I5 F9 a7 q/ \" M

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9 T9 A( @4 r8 g9 z
5 A: O1 w* C( [4 J

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/ g. ?7 z) S$ `# @  E

  d6 r- H3 u8 ?4 J7 H' l! t, y0 b" |" N$ \0 {3 l0 A! y* h

( }: R' ]7 Z3 UA: Both of them are in the middle of the "day".1 {3 C. i. k$ H' {9 E0 m

: A: C6 @' A+ F& L" F/ BQ: Why is "U" the happiest letter?
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5 G# Q$ x+ o. F) Z# B* W* I* p
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4 k3 u: Q: }5 b, V% v3 t
  S) k$ g" B0 R" R( ?( n  F' nA: Because it is in the middle of "fun".
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Q: What word of only three syllables contains 26 letters? & K* Z; J( y8 F$ c
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0 i+ f% G7 F+ g; I
1 F' }  K) W# x8 V: E8 Z
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7 o% u* H+ F+ ]! U3 d( t$ z2 B3 a: C

7 B% o6 J. \, {) M( E* k2 F8 H7 y0 F( G, m4 Z, h% S& P- m
1 B6 p" B! M7 {2 G, V
  Q7 [9 I  W" F% B% f2 Y

; {  x( ~; @/ Z  S8 G; z0 s0 P+ N6 D% B8 U
A: Alphabet = (26 letters)
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Q: What relatives are dependent on "you"?
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; g, ]6 N5 `# e7 Y) [# Z0 ?* j

+ D3 _  _0 z% j9 r2 |5 n& N0 b8 x/ t7 v6 K  c

- ]) c( K+ `5 ~9 w/ b8 U# P/ N- S/ F# u+ g, o" f: k

) B1 [+ o2 a/ U4 f9 a( p7 k9 H ) w( ~8 `4 L1 C& l9 R9 ~
A: Aunt, uncle, cousin. They all need "U".: \7 H4 A% R' a0 h) g3 D
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Q: What is the end of everything?
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4 K4 f4 S! C& C, A3 u

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A: The letter "g".
鲜花(122) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-4-14 22:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(49) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-5 16:15 | 显示全部楼层
尘肺???????????
鲜花(49) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-5 16:20 | 显示全部楼层
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
8 ~$ G7 s. Q5 D1 E4 s7 v% Z" @) y- M. u6 B* Z& C$ `+ a# X
补充内容 (2012-5-16 12:51):
/ U- O6 W3 s" r8 F; qI did not know those sources of the word, thanks!
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-15 06:52 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-5-15 11:04 | 显示全部楼层
CANDYMAN 发表于 2012-5-5 16:20 7 e" {; g$ V& H3 X: q
pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

! w: g6 B( v6 lgreat job
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-5-29 10:32 | 显示全部楼层
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
鲜花(647) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2012-5-30 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
不就是\smile吗
鲜花(13) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2012-6-8 12:31 | 显示全部楼层
435t45rhrthrt
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2012-8-28 08:14 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
鲜花(163) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2012-8-30 13:45 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
9楼的笑话没看懂哦?
鲜花(156) 鸡蛋(2)
发表于 2012-9-11 16:22 | 显示全部楼层
shelley.micheal 发表于 2012-8-30 14:45
. X6 {' z+ x1 x8 U, M3 C- Z$ Q" z2 |% d9楼的笑话没看懂哦?
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以I开头造句:0 |! G6 e/ G5 b) }( D+ p
他本来想说:I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am,结果意思变成我是第9个字母。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 17:27 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
billzhao 发表于 2012-4-14 13:45
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9 x3 g9 ^) J8 ?& w* X$ W4 h8 YTeacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
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大型搬家
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
 楼主| 发表于 2013-3-21 17:29 | 显示全部楼层
fushiyu 发表于 2012-9-11 16:22 ; g+ x- Z% A' N! d" ^, `2 {: R
以I开头造句:: J3 x( Z+ {4 l# A
他本来想说:I是第9个字母。但是老师不允许I后接is。所以接了am,结果意思变成我是第9个字 ...

6 E1 v6 ^, ?& ?  @3 aThe ninth letter is I
' _  M8 {/ T! t9 X& I+ ]* X) h  Z"I" is the ninth letter
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2013-3-24 15:05 | 显示全部楼层
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