In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

3 M9 y, L5 d5 s* Z, ^, nIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
* _7 E! s6 K( c4 gNourished with my soul
# n0 `6 V7 C6 W* f  e2 b/ }. QDevoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
8 y# k0 }- Y1 vYou planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
, o) ]4 X) N9 C; eBursting the love out of me
# t$ ?* ?  K1 O- w2 @+ F( S
/ h! n' N9 O. {% r[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
4 i4 ^( g9 p  d" W, _3 |& w
In the garden of my heart
+ }6 v1 }2 G& j; K3 M8 E$ E4 nYou planted a tree
& R8 ?+ Y. z* Y4 X" _# ?( JFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
  M% O- a8 {3 J1 [* s  ]+ f  ]7 uDevoured my so ...

眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

# p& O- ~- J% E% x1 i写得真好。

" e) O/ [( d  s) @" c加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
4 L2 R" q5 Q/ Y% B( d眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
* G- U' F8 H6 }. g  C写得真好。
加精加精！

5 p3 W" H+ g. |3 K我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

+ E. j( {5 v# s3 m) R五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
- F* ?$ K! c" s# I
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

0 z1 p4 u% b! e( M8 d; ?Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
- H& W4 f7 M; g' s( ^
" X# R) E: {% M# d$ Y( v" ~1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

6 `! z/ S. E/ a, L2 {Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
9 u$ k* g4 K, W2 qthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

" a+ @5 L3 Q2 }5 h诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
( m- u1 Z: y# X# }9 Zthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
1 ~" Y) T: e* m" t# I: x: o+ C" p$ U6 t. Y
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

) i3 a- s2 _/ p7 V& r- l. @
- |' s8 d& F: \% K% M有啊，有很多经典的例子。
. `+ q& o2 G4 Q, X* k2 z
' U2 l* R- l: k比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

' p! ^/ C8 f9 d1 t) C- \$ i, rDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
8 p/ L# c- e, _: j1 l0 k7 aI've a date with a butterfly
1 {$ Q4 c; B: Z1 }! d, d- xTo dance on the air.
( j0 }' s/ \  L7 b, w, G+ ~; A/ r7 T5 O; OIf I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

Don't be sad
5 l/ Q; V9 }& S& B' {When you remember me,
( ?' S# g; A) y- ?' N7 vFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
+ W5 X  ~* w, R9 n; tWild and free,
3 L0 V+ E5 ]$ m4 |8 F5 M* jFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
* N3 t; c! l0 P2 {Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
3 f: H  v' d8 k! I' `7 C( a) OWhile I'm waiting for thee.